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My ex periodically sends me names of songs to listen to (or links to youtube videos) - mostly about me breaking his heart, or how his heart is broken, how could I say goodbye, how could I.... you know?
Are there any songs that very specifically address choosing to not be with someone because of their addiction? There are songs that get to me, songs that I understand their meaning to me but he wouldn't get it if I referred to them. One in particular is Rascal Flatts "I don't wanna see you anymore, I'm just not that strong, I love it when your here, but I'm better when your gone" but it doesn't address addiction and the pain HE'S put me through - I've stopped trying to talk about my feelings because if I bring it up, he jumps to defensive mode and I get "You! what about the pain I've been through?! its your fault that I've lived in a trailer for a year, ate out of cans, been cold, lonely and miserable, how can you say that I hurt you when you've hurt me more" speech.
Any songs with lyrics that specifically talk about alcoholism from the Al-anon side?
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
Like my heart,
Please take what you like from this, but I wonder if it's really helpful for either of you to continue this back and forth about who's at fault and who's hurt more. If you've broken up, it doesn't seem fair that he'd keep sending those songs. Doesn't sound like it's to be friendly, sounds like it's to hurt you and keep the two of you connected in a relationship of pain. The best thing might be to quit listening, tell him you're done listening, and move on! Going back and forth won't make him see the light and nobody wins. In fact, it may just hold you back. I don't know your relationship and what's right for you. These are just some thoughts to consider. I know from my experience it's all easier said than done. I'm sorry if i've said too much and I hope this might be helpful.
I do have a song suggestion for you to listen to: not in this life, by natalie merchant. It's a really good one!
Doozy
Hi Doozy and thanks, really there isn't unfriendly back and forth anymore, I was just thinking of having some song to text back - usually, if I respond at all its to re-suggest AA short and sweet. Most times I don't respond because I know he's sitting feeling sorry for himself. Most times I just don't answer because he won't hear what I try to say. Was just wondering if there were music that fit. Thanks again!
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
With all the stupid drinking songs I would write one that said something about "you ain't drinking anymore but you ain't drinking any less" well guess what that means your gonna die and I choose not to watch!!!
Okay I'd probably try to rhyme or something.. but you get the idea..
well that song I posted a couple weeks back by ColdPlay really hits home for me with addiction called "Fix You". Check out the lyrics. The singing is just haunting and makes me tear up.
Fix You By Cold Play:
When you try your best, but you don't succeed When you get what you want, but not what you need When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can't replace When you love someone, but it goes to waste Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below When you're too in love to let it go But if you never try you'll never know Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down on your face When you lose something you cannot replace Tears stream down on your face And I...
Tears stream down on your face I promise you I will learn from my mistakes Tears stream down on your face And I...
Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I will try to fix you
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
That sounds like a pretty song YFM, what I'm wishing to find is something with a girl singing to a guy about how it is for HER living with his insanity, showing his altered mental behavior and how it effects her. Or, like Glad said, all the stupid drinking songs, you think one of the country writers would have written something from the other side, how much his drinking has cost him. I wish for a way to express to him how hard it is to see him doing the same self-destructive drinking and then sitting at the bar and blaming all his troubles on women to anyone who is in earshot. Here we are almost 11 months separated, divorced now too and he's at full tilt, drinking all he wants just to prove he can, he doesn't have a problem - then texting me how lonely, how awful it is, how terrible I am, etc ad nauseum and each time I suggest AA then don't hear from him until he needs to contact me. It stops the texts for the night, but I sure wish sometimes there was something else I could say to reach into him and throttle that drinking bug!
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
There's always Amy Winehouse's "Rehab." "They tried to make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no..." The terrible aftermath of saying "No, no, no" to rehab -- Amy's death -- is on most people's minds when they hear the song now.
Go away from my window Leave at your own chosen speed I'm not the one you want, babe I'm not the one you need You say you're lookin' for someone Who's never weak but always strong To protect you and defend you Whether you are right or wrong Someone to open each and every door
[CHORUS:] But it ain't me babe No, no, no, it ain't me babe It ain't me you're lookin' for, babe
Go lightly from the ledge, babe Go lightly on the ground I'm not the one you want, babe I'll only let you down You say you're lookin' for someone Who'll promise never to part Someone to close his eyes to you Someone to close his heart Someone to die for you and more
[REPEAT CHORUS]
You say you're lookin' for someone To pick you up each time you fall To gather flowers constantly And to come each time you call And will love you for your life And nothin' more
When my husband was active I always related to "Time For Me To Fly" by REO
"I've been around for you I've been up and down for you But I just can't get any relief I've swallowed my pride for you I've lived and lied for you But you still make me feel like a thief You got me stealin' your love away 'Cause you never give it Peeling the years away And we can't relive it I make you laugh And you make me cry I believe it's time for me to fly
You said we'd work it out You said that you had no doubt That deep down we were really in love Oh, but I'm tired of holding on To a feeling I know is gone I do believe that I've had enough
I've had enough of the falseness Of a worn out relation Enough of the jealousy And the intoleration I make you laugh And you make me cry I believe it's time for me to fly
Time for me to fly Oh, I've got to set myself free Time for me to fly And that's just how it's got to be I know it hurts to say goodbye But it's time for me to fly
Oh, don't you know it's...
It's time for me to fly
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Funny my ex AH send each other songs to listen to also. I know it is just a way to somehow stay connected at this point. I sent him a recent Eminem song "Like the way it hurts" it is vulgar, but it hits the nail on the head with us. He admitted to me we were headed there for sure after I sent it. He said when he first heard it before he thought of me. Give it a listen and tell me what you think.
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God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.
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