|
|
Feelings Update:: Thank You .. Grattitude For You ..
(Preview)
I went to my meeting last night and had the woman follow me out of the meeting .. I shared on Feelings .. and my mother who is 87 and my family, etc.. I was so in the spin .. the topic was joy .. i sat feeling vulnerable recognising that in my family my siblings and parents would sit at the table and if things were...
|
MeTwo2
|
3
|
389
|
|
|
|
Drowning in Feelings !
(Preview)
So, I went to a meeting tonight because I was "Feeling" So bad .. I walked in and the 4 others were joyful, being positive .. I thought Here I am again .. So, I said .. Hi .. I'm Debbie .. Downer .. everyone knows me though but i said here i am tonight .. Another monday and another rough night .. I &...
|
MeTwo2
|
9
|
660
|
|
|
|
My mother
(Preview)
My mother is 87 years old .. I'm so afraid to post on her because I'm feeling the shame of she's old, just forgive her and forget it .. be with her now while you can .. someday she'll be gone .. Believe me, these are messages I have told myself .. but in Not sharing there is less of me to be with her in the days she h...
|
MeTwo2
|
6
|
494
|
|
|
|
My story and how his addiction has taken over my life! I need HELP!!!!
(Preview)
My relationship with my CH boyfriend has taken my life away. I am depressed, lost, confused, unmotivated and do not love myself and I dont even do the drugs. I have been with him for a little over a year and go figure in a year how much your life physically, mentally and financially can change from one per...
|
Julie3310
|
9
|
828
|
|
|
|
Needing some ESH and guidance...my AH is making declarations that he is going to quit drinking
(Preview)
Of course, I have long since learned that when he does this, I absolutely should NOT develop any expectations that he will actually quit drinking. I can't even begin to count the number of times he has said he's going to quit, or cut back, blah blah blah. How do you all handle these types of situations? ...
|
stephaniej
|
10
|
542
|
|
|
|
Positive vibes and/or prayers needed...
(Preview)
Can any more keep happening? :) I shouldn't ask that... my bipolar brother went off his meds and is back in a crisis center and my daughter is very sick. She's been throwing up since Saturday with no other symptoms and is in a lot of abdominal pain. That with my marital issues etc I'm about to break. A...
|
amills4294
|
13
|
364
|
|
|
|
AH losing all his friends :(
(Preview)
i just had a real shocker. was checking FB news feeds and someone on my friend's list status pops up.. that they are married. a bunch of congrats posted etc etc. This person happened to have been our best man at our wedding. and (was?) one of my husband's best and oldest friends. This is very dishearteni...
|
tweety23
|
7
|
383
|
|
|
|
From one to another....
(Preview)
I have been with my fiancé for 6 years. Two years into the relationship his father died, sending him into a depression and to alcohol. We were young and didn't live together and I didn't realize he had a problem until a year later when I found him almost dead surrounded by bottles. He went to rehab volunta...
|
srn2
|
3
|
305
|
|
|
|
Deep down I know what I need to do
(Preview)
First off, I recognize in myself the 'enabler" role that I always manage to assume. First husband was a crackhead, my next relationship was with an abusive drug addict/alcoholic who eventually died from multiple gunshot wounds during a drunken argument and now, once again, right after comp...
|
pinksurvivor
|
7
|
851
|
|
|
|
When you feel you can't get away from addiction...
(Preview)
I need to vent. As most know, I'm separated from my AH. I came home to my parent's house for a while while my AH tries to get his life in order. Now, I'm dealing with my dad all over again. He is a recovering A and has been sober from alcohol for 17 years. But being sober from other means, he has failed. If it's no...
|
LostMama31
|
7
|
458
|
|
|
|
To moderators - can't send PMs
(Preview)
Since yesterday I have been unable to send PMs. I get a message about a problem with the recipients-even though I type in the recipient's name/nick I get the message again after hitting ¨send¨. Please help.
|
pineapple
|
3
|
276
|
|
|
|
Having trouble putting myself first - stuck in toxic guilt
(Preview)
Hi, I'm not really sure where to start. I'm an addict in another fellowship; in recovery for 2 years; sober for 1 year. As I progress in my recovery for my primary addiction I find that my alanonic behaviours and codependency are still lingering and causing me an enormous amount of pain. To cut a long sto...
|
lightningsally
|
4
|
851
|
|
|
|
an awful way to spend new years
(Preview)
First I do want to wish everyone a wonderful and safe new year.
That said I want to know if I'm off the ball here. My AH (recovering for a year and a half) asked me today if he could have non-alcoholic beer. I was very skeptical and educated him to the fact that the taste and smell could trigger cravings etc...
|
12stepinKristi
|
7
|
435
|
|
|
|
A Good New Years Eve-keep hope alive
(Preview)
When I first came to this board, I came because I needed to vent and was feeling hopeless (first time) about my relationship with my AH. This was after years of active but controlled drinking, followed by 15 years sober, then 4 years of a relapse roller coast. This however was the first time I had about g...
|
tired of trying
|
10
|
345
|
|
|
|
Al - anon meetings and kids
(Preview)
Can you take kids to an Al-Anon meeting?
|
ttpurtee
|
4
|
2353
|
|
|
|
Over, over, over
(Preview)
I've known for awhile that things between me and my A were over. Unfortunately, due to financial and other considerations that I won't go into on a public forum, we are stuck with each other. We live on the same property, but since last summer we live in separate buildings. I've gotten very good at detac...
|
pineapple
|
14
|
639
|
|
|
|
Feeling Disgusted
(Preview)
Hi, I know my family of origin is very dysfunctional but this beats it all. My sister's mother-in-law asked my sister to ask our mother if we would like to have Christmas with them at their house. We have spent the last few with them and we like them. My Mum rang me up to say that my sister had invited them...
|
Tracey C
|
6
|
534
|
|
|
|
anyone been in the visitation situation where they felt trapped ??
(Preview)
I've been sharing on my addict x partner slash father of my child .. Our daughter's been through So much already .. the abandonment of his going and becoming progressively sicker/more detached, etc.. his cold cut off .. he visits our daughter once a week but phonecalls in between are less n less for her...
|
MeTwo2
|
9
|
514
|
|
|
|
Jealous of spouse in recovery!! what is wrong with me
(Preview)
I am feeling really, really torn here today. I dropped my spouse at the airport this am for him to go to rehab with Palm Partners in FL. Now this is not close to our home and that isn't really my problem. I am jealous. I feel as though I am so screwed up (codependant and angry) and now I am jealous of ALL the atte...
|
Sponge6819
|
10
|
865
|
|
|
|
New Year - First Post - ODAT
(Preview)
Here I am, step 1. I found this board because I believe my HP led me here. 6 months ago, my AH announced he was leaving after 20 years. I was devastated. The past few years were challenging in our lives, we were struggling with a depressed teen (now healthy, in recovery) we entered family therapy together...
|
LinD322
|
4
|
532
|
|
|
|
Step work board reminder
(Preview)
HI MIP Family I would like to wish everyone a New Year filled with serenity, courage and wisdom. We are still working on the Third Step (#3) on The Step Work Board. and will continue to the 4th Step next Sunday. It is a wonderful forum in which we can share our thoughts and grow with the Steps. I found it h...
|
hotrod
|
1
|
226
|
|
|
|
I cant control him, but it is my money?
(Preview)
I know I have no control over what my ah does, but I don't know how to hold my boundary. I told my ah that I would not support his addiction and that I would not pay for his drugs any longer. He went to rehab over a year ago and really did stop his drug of choice. He started again over a month ago. He keeps lying to m...
|
dragonflys
|
12
|
599
|
|
|
|
Happy New Year (video from John to you!)
(Preview)
|
John
|
3
|
297
|
|
|
|
Question About Adderoll
(Preview)
My AH's addiction counselor keeps suggesting he go on Adderoll, my AH is entering a college nursing program and his counselor is concerned about his ability to concentrate/focus. He thinks my AH has ADHD. Everything I can find out about Adderrol all says if you have a history with drugs or alcohol t...
|
surfgirl123
|
6
|
521
|
|
|
|
wishing you all a happy and peacefull new year!
(Preview)
i have just come back from going out for a meal with my abf. besides the akward silent moments, during our meal i was looking at this man whom i fell so very deeply in love with when we first met. and i was feeling sad, sad for myself as i am grieving the man i first met but also a sadness for him, who looked to be t...
|
serenityseeker1
|
3
|
224
|
|
|
|
Today is better
(Preview)
I feel better today. More positive and less fearful. I cannot live in worry and doubt. My husband's resolve to get clean seems strong and I choose to believe him. I told him my fears about him not getting it- that he may be an addict and not just "addicted" to pain meds. He agrees to investigate...
|
Annette678
|
2
|
227
|
|
|
|
let the healing begin...he is laid to rest
(Preview)
Yesterday I said goodbye to my DAD. I was able to listen to the graveside service by phone. It was good as well as strange & weird--never experienced anything like that before & hope I will never have to again. I guess words really can't describe how the whole thing came about. I am just so gratef...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
3
|
295
|
|
|
|
Causes
(Preview)
Well my AH husband came over tonight and told me that he was so much happier away from me!!
He also said, that his counselor said that I was probably the reason that he drank.
I told him that I did not cause it, he said, "No you didn't, but you did not help either."
Those comments kind of hur...
|
ttpurtee
|
14
|
609
|
|
|
|
New Year's Update
(Preview)
I haven't been on in a while. In early November we moved into a new home and that actually went really well. AH was on his best behavior and, despite the stress of moving, was actually plesent and easy to deal with the whole time. As far as I knew, he hadn't been drinking since his last drunken episode ba...
|
ilovedogs
|
2
|
224
|
|
|
|
Son declared himself an alcaholic and I don't know how to handle
(Preview)
please forgive me if this gets long-winded and/or scatteres. i've never been through this before and don't know what is right, wrong.. how to handle it!! in a nutshell, my 25 year old asked for help 3-months ago disclosing he was an alcoholic. he lives a couple hours away but by the next morning we h...
|
droth
|
13
|
527
|
|
|
|
So... that's step 4
(Preview)
Finished my Blueprint tonight. Biggest problems turned out to be self-worth (or lack thereof), fear, anger (fear of others' anger, inability to let myself feel angry), guilt (about my sister), and shame (feeling I don't deserve to be in program/getting help because other people have "real p...
|
atheos
|
6
|
381
|
|
|
|
Re-Finding Myself
(Preview)
Today I went to buy some smoked salmon for myself for new year's eve, bought a friend a nice piece as well, just because I knew she'd enjoy it. Earlier this week I went to Subway for lunch for my family and bought a sandwich for another friend because I knew he would appreciate the gesture (postal worker, C...
|
likemyheart
|
3
|
271
|
|
|
|
Addiction rears its ugly head once again!!!
(Preview)
My middle son has recently gone through detox of opiates, once again. He attempted it about a year ago on his own and ended up back on them again. We, his Afather and I tried to get him into a detox program but that was not to be. Insurance doesn't pay for a non life threatening detox. Plus there are waiting l...
|
wildthang86
|
4
|
361
|
|
|
|
Sickness visited my home last night
(Preview)
My exAH came over to pick up our girls, he had to switch nights for some job thing. My 13 year old was in the shower so he sat on the couch and my 3 year old and I were playing with my new Kindle that his parents bought for me on Christmas morning. He asked what we were playing and I showed him we were downloading f...
|
Breakingfree
|
7
|
393
|
|
|
|
Prayers please
(Preview)
My spouses mom is in the hospital. This isn't shocking considering what she's done to herself over the past few years. It's no secret that she needs to stop smoking and drinking. She's on oxygen and continues to abuse what is left of her lung capacity. She's not smoking packs of cigs any more howeve...
|
Pushka
|
12
|
334
|
|
|
|
it is today but another day to live!
(Preview)
I am struggling still w/ the death of my father & today is the service--hopefully a day of memories, good times & some closure for me. I can't be down there to comfort & share those moments w/ my family but hopefully somehow I can be there by phone. This might cause of little bit of a problem bu...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
2
|
242
|
|
|
|
Interesting way to analyze guilt
(Preview)
I am home today with two sick kids and just sitting around so I picked up an old book about parenting that is one of those 'makes you laugh and cry' books called "I was a really good Mom before I had kids" (it is SO GOOD) but I had read it three and a half years ago when pregnant with my second child--...
|
sookie
|
6
|
374
|
|
|
|
"stop going to the hardware store for bread"
(Preview)
I am so guilty of this. I keep trying to belive that somewhere in my spouse is the love, consideration, affection for me that I see him show others. Maybe that's why it is so very difficult. As an ACoA I have a real problem with this because this is exactly how my Mom treated me growing up. I am still so hu...
|
amills4294
|
8
|
1838
|
|
|
|
I feel like I've been punched in the gut
(Preview)
10 days ago I caught my husband of 13 years using methadone. He breaks down and tells me he's secretly been addicted to opiates (pills, not heroin) for years and was now trying to get clean. I was completely shocked as I had no idea. He does not abuse alcohol. -I think I've seen him drunk 2-3 times in 18 year...
|
Annette678
|
8
|
604
|
|
|
|
Need advice
(Preview)
I will be spending Christmas at my daughter's and she has invited her brother for dinner, my son who is an active A. I have been working the Al-Anon program and doing well with detaching. It will be a difficult situation for me if he shows up and has obviously been drinking. I will want to leave and distanc...
|
Rose50
|
10
|
456
|
|
|
|
Progress not perfection
(Preview)
So yesterday I got a call from my A.. Asking if he can come over to give me some money he owes me. He gave me quite a bit based on the fact that he has had money for a week now and hasnt spent it all yet.. He also gave my son a twenty (he took 12$ from him). So my son got paid back plus a little more.. So this is where I am...
|
kris10
|
13
|
1551
|
|
|
|
question about depression and meds
(Preview)
Hi all,I have recently shared and touched upon this subject. But I would like to start a topic on this with the hope of hearing others experiances and ideas. My abf has been prescribed a strong dose of anti depressants a month ago without telling me. At the moment he is still on another prescription whic...
|
serenityseeker1
|
6
|
352
|
|
|
|
To the people sitting near us at the movie theater...
(Preview)
I apologize for the smell. See, my husband is an alcoholic and he can't sit through a movie without a drink. Yes, I know he was sneaking to the bathroom to top off his soda cup with alcohol--I think it was vodka tonight--or he slipped out of the theater to the bar next door to grab something. Either way, ple...
|
Very Very Tired
|
10
|
662
|
|
|
|
recovery
(Preview)
hi all, i wnt to and old meeting lasr night only couple people there same old faces. It was ovely to revisit. The topic was corage and shraes were good then a new comer shared about how she had told her rinker to explain xy and z to his doctor.I was astonished as a regular member cross talked and helped her...
|
Tracy
|
2
|
277
|
|
|
|
really need some esh! feel like I'm gonna burst!!
(Preview)
O.k so it christmas eve. I have trying my hardest to deal with my abf. Well to try and get through the holidays really for the sake of our children. Yes he is using again, and its seriously breaking my heart, not to mention driving me insane as he is outright lying to me about it. I have been trying my best to t...
|
serenityseeker1
|
15
|
695
|
|
|
|
AH visiting children
(Preview)
My AH claims that he loves his children dearly, but not me.
Since my AH was drinking in secret, and he also tried to committ sucide, he picked my kids up from school and 3 hours later was passed out with a blood alcohol level that is 4 times the legal limit.
I have filed a TRO and divorce, I don't allow him...
|
ttpurtee
|
5
|
433
|
|
|
|
Inspirational Quote
(Preview)
She went out on a limb, had it break off behind her, and discovered she could FLY. (helps me reframe my life a bit)
|
rehprof
|
4
|
406
|
|
|
|
Feeling Alone
(Preview)
I ran across this message board today & thought I would post something. It's good to know there are other people experiencing the same things you are going through. My husband has a drinking problem & of course he thinks he doesn't. Every time I have brought it up it turns into my problem..I was...
|
HockeyGrl
|
8
|
455
|
|
|
|
hi all
(Preview)
I have moved house so have not had my computer back till today really missed this site. I hope you all had a lovely christms I did. I am on my way to a meeting so will post properly later hugs tracy xxxxx
|
Tracy
|
4
|
256
|
|
|
|
Asking for Prayer
(Preview)
Please pray for me as I deal with A son and his 2 yr bride and mommy to be who are in town for the holidays. We see very little of them, our home isn't loaded with A:) Thank You.
|
Grace7
|
11
|
557
|
|
|
|
To rehab or not to rehab...that is the question???
(Preview)
My husband truly wants to get better. He knows his life has become unmanageable, however, even though he wants to get counseling (and has first appt already set up), to figure out why he's so angry, he doesn't see why he needs to go back to rehab. He wants to instead do the counseling, keep meeting with ou...
|
LostMama31
|
11
|
516
|
|
|
|
Gettin Better with Holiday Lessons :0)
(Preview)
Funny the Lessons Learned when you Least expect them... First let me Say Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to You all... Without all of You Here, I may still be Back there <---- I have Flurished thru another Christmas/Birthday with Balance & Grace I feel, the Ease Part was A Little Touch &...
|
Jozie
|
1
|
324
|
|
|
|
it can & will get better!
(Preview)
Actually today is better. I got a nap finally! My headache is starting to go away! I feel like things might just get better. My negative outlook is starting to go away too. Now that it has been over a week since my DAD died, I can actually see that maybe I can & will get through this w/o any major problems...
|
Hoot Nanny
|
1
|
268
|
|
|
|
complete breakdown
(Preview)
First and foremost I think ive found a group to join for weekly meetings. But I am worried about what has transpired over the last week. I have been working insane hours at work. And I happen to work second, my husband works first. Hes also had the last week off from work. Every night when i have been gettin...
|
Moon_Beam
|
10
|
581
|
|
|
|
"They'll Learn Much More than I'll Ever Know."
(Preview)
"I hear babies cry, I watch them grow. They'll learn much more than I'll ever know." -L. Armstrong. I was posting on Very Very Tired's thread and then my post turned into a novel so I decided to just make my own topic about it because, I guess, I have alot on my mind. Lately I have been waking u...
|
Michelle814
|
8
|
612
|
|
|
|
Obsessing over what was, what could be...
(Preview)
I'm doing what I refer to as my "mental torture" -- going over everything that happened in the relationship (broke up 4 weeks ago) -- all the things he told me about his past, other women, why is he friends on facebook with her and not me...OMG. STOP. These tapes are killing me and keeping me st...
|
rehprof
|
12
|
448
|
|
|
|
Grieving and obsession- not what I expected
(Preview)
Early December, I ended a relationship. The fact that he responded by wanting to take a break for a month is of little consolation. I started the grieving process and was doing ok. I had made the decision to feel the unpleasantness and pray that it would pass. There was a shift this past week - like a sw...
|
bud
|
10
|
582
|
|
|
|
We don't have a pot to ....
(Preview)
My husband cannot work right now because he broke his neck (fell from a tree, he owns a tree service, he's in a brace for at least another month) .. he cannot drive either. But every day he finds a way to a meeting and three times a week he finds a way to his outpatient appnts. He inspires my recovery at time...
|
Michelle814
|
8
|
611
|
|
|
|
Update: Terrible Thanksgiving, dry Christmas? (long, sorry!)
(Preview)
http://alanon.activeboard.com/t46406455/terrible-thanksgiving-plans-for-dry-christmas/?page=1#lastPostAnchor
|
pitbull lover
|
7
|
6852
|
|
|
|
Self Sabotage
(Preview)
Things since I've come home have been pretty good. I'm the one doing things to rock the boat. Some of it I'm sure is so I can say see .. it wasn't THAT good really. There is a part of me though that really thinks I don't deserve to be happy. Plus after living in crisis mode even just in my own mind for so long...
|
Pushka
|
12
|
758
|
|