Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

AH just walked out. Mad about... well, mad about whatever turmoil is his. I didn't argue. I remainded calm. I said one thing I shouldn't have. I apologized. I calmly spoke my truth: "I'm afraid of you and what you have become." I'm calm. Quiet. Increasing my conscious contact with my HP. My s...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I will make this brief. My AH was under the influence tonight. I have stopped asking if he is, because he lies. He said he was going to make a phone call, but then called someone else. I asked which friend he was going to call since he has a few friends by that same first name. He totally forgot that h...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Many of you have mentioned that I should let AH tell our son about what is going on. Son is asking questions, though. He stayed with a friend for 5 hours today and he asked what we were out doing and I told him that it was a thing for dad that I had to help him with. He asked what it was and I said you have to ask y...

wp · wp

Chatroom is telling me it's under construction. What? lol Will be good to break down the door soon :) wp

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

AH was pulled over for running a red light and failure to drive in one lane. The breathalyzer test read .179 and he did submit to a blood test, too. Thank God he didn't hurt anyone else on the road. They impounded his car, took his license and it looks like it's suspended for 90 days right now. I believe...

wantinganswers · wantinganswers

2 yrs clean and sober today......he is living 8 blocks away, having an affair and abandoning his kids. My son went to school again with no breakfast and no lunch money. He is posting on fb how proud he is of his accompishments and what a better person he is...and I am sad that he does not even care to celebr...

Isabella · Isabella

I was wondering if anyone knows of meetings for 'couples' in either Al-Anon or AA. My partner has been sober for 9 years but we need help with other issues directly related.

Sally · Sally

I am currently a little over a year into my 3rd marriage. The pattern is repeating itself yet again. In each case, they had drinking/controlling issues. Seems that I was okay with it in the beginning, but as time went on it became more and more unacceptable to me. I confronted and demanded changes,...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

UGH! I had to miss my meeting tonight because my mom is in town and I had to take her to another city for an accordion meeting(she performs in an accordion orchestra). Anyway, I came home, pulled in the garage, and there is a full empty bottle of wine on the front seat and a half drunk cup of wine in the cuph...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Ihad a psychologist appointment yesterday afternoon. I am starting to warm to her a little bit. I would want to.. I have seen her about 10 times now. It is just so hard to bring down those barriers to people. I find it hard to show on the outside what I am feeling on the inside. I am so used to hiding my tr...

kris10 · kris10

Is it EVER good to retaliate??? I've never felt this way before but right now I think that retaliation would make me feel a whole lot better.... ESH please

agapi · agapi

I am fairly new to AlAnon and just got home from a meeting about the second step. I shared my experience about my higher power and how my concept of that had changed over the years. Now I am concerned that I can no longer be an AlAnon member because if I keep going to meetings I cannot share my truth. Our gr...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I'm back at step one. My life is out of control. I went into the steps here on the board hotrod a help posting on there. Here are some of the things i'm dealing with. Who in my life is making me feel crazy and causing stress ? The A if I let him. Who has been controling your emotions and other areas of my life ?...

SusanThomas · SusanThomas

I know exactly what is going on - intellectually but (and I know but is a big word) I am having a really hard time with my present living situation. I lost my job and am living with my daughter and watching my granddaughter in exchange for rent. My daughter has started using cocaine on a regular basis and I...

Debilyn · Debilyn

How does one get into their inbox? I can click I have a message but the message will not come up. thank you ok something is wrong again. Says I have two messages I do not. Now it won't let me delete or edit my messages. Says I don't have the right to do this or something? yikes! -- Edited by Debilyn on Thursday...

emmyboo2 · emmyboo2

Is it bad that I hope the AH gets convicted of this DUI? He may lose his job if he gets convicted but I dont care because I am hoping it will get him to his bottom and he will go to inpatient rehab. I even called the prosecuter as did his sister in order to testify against him. He has enabling parents who are help...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Admittedly, I am in a highly unique situation. One of my AH's friends has been staying with us for six weeks. He recently started a job where my AH works, and has been using this time to save some money, get to know the area, and look for a place (his wife and daughter will be moving up here too, once they fi...

GreenerGrass · GreenerGrass

So, aside from my father who is a desperately sick, barely functioning alcoholic, my alcoholic husband, I also have a recovering drug addict sister. I tend to forget about the impact she has had on my sickness. She introduced me to drugs when I was young and I won't even get into how bad that was, but it's...

daisy31 · daisy31

So since I have been learning about my HP and all I have had this lingering feeling that the Christian God I grew up with is sooo mad at me. I keep asking myself if I could be going to hell if I don't believe in all of the bible. I am obsessing about it. I was raised to believe that I would go to hell if I didn't b...

John · John

Our site is currently down so access to the chatroom via the site entrance is not possible at this time. I am working diligently to get it back up and running asap. John

robind78 · robind78

I have been in Al-Anon for several months. Recently, my daughter's ABF was put on a sabbatical because of his drinking. His supervisor told him that his job would be held for 30 days pending him going to in-patient rehab. Unfortunately this ABF does not have health insurance and I really don't thin...

emil · emil

I spoke to my husband about returning to Al- Anon and returning to therapy. It was hard for him to understand- why would I need to go to therapy and meetings since he is not drinking. I really was able to communicate my struggles the past few months, my insecurities, my lack of trust, my resentments, an...

ttpurtee · ttpurtee

My soon to be ex is supposedly going on 6 months of sobriety. My lawyer is the only one who talks to him and my lawyer said that he was apethetic. I was wondering if it is normal to be apethetic while recovering from alcoholism or if he just does not care about me or the marriage? I was wondering if that is t...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I heard that this weekend and it really struck me as to how true it is. In and of itself, it doesn't really mean anything. But I think it gives us an opportunity to step back, quit taking it personally, and remember that our alcoholics truly are sick. Definitely a new mantra for me...

TLD · TLD

Thank you to everyone for your support. I am still at my parents and have met with victim services. They have confirmed my thoughts of the abuse I have put up for way too long. It's amazing that on my drive there, I thought, hm, is this the right thing to do? Yes, yes it is and I will pursue this. I feel ca...

wp · wp

Does anyone know why I can't get into the chatroom tonight? wp

dragonflys · dragonflys

My AH has relapsed. Smoking pot daily. So many don't know why it bothers me so much, but it does. I am trying to remain calm but I feel like my life is falling apart in front of my very eyes. My son is getting D's and F's in school, he is in middle school. He doesn't care and I don't know what to do. My daughter is a...

Tracy73 · Tracy73

My husband has had an addiction to perscription pain pills for about 11 years now. For all these years I have taken care of almost everything, the house, our kids, his business and worked my own full time job. Last year he started to go to meetings and got clean. He has been for a year now. I hoped that t...

daisy31 · daisy31

Okay, I do this thing on facebook. I will want to post a status of a saying that I love like today I posted "I am not perfect and that is fine with me". I really like that saying and posted it......only to go back and delete it 2 minutes later. I start thinking that someone will think I am weird e...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I haven't posted for a while. I have tried a few times but my internet access seemed to drop out, or it disappeared into the internet world somewhere... My last session with my psychologist nearly a fortnight ago knocked me around a bit. I posted the letter here I think. I am feeling better now but I was v...

daisy31 · daisy31

Just wanted to wish everyone a happy Valentine's day. What are you all doing for V-day? My boys have a school party which I love being able to go to and get lots of cute pictures of them :) I bought my hubby a bag of his favorite licorice...how's that for romance ha! We don't do anything too special for V...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I have been totally absorbed in A- and codependency-related stuff over the last few days, and it's definitely affecting my ability to stay serene. One of the things I really miss about having a "normal" life is just sharing random things about life. Since we've moved to a new area, I don't...

sirchef · sirchef

Well for the second day in a row I can't access the room. So what techniques from our program will help me deal with this frustration? Is all this a test for us who are experiencing the same problem to really apply the program to this ? well for me I'm really not doing very well at it. lol but not funny. This ro...

stefani74 · stefani74

Well last night was our first Valentine's Day and it was our first night with all of our kids spending the night together with us. He's really working hard to be a better dad to his two and be a dad to mine as well. I am really proud of the effort he's making and he's very proud of his progress since becoming...

Iris lover of dogs · Iris lover of dogs

Last weekend, my AH moved out. I had made the decision in early December, based on him breaking an important boundary, but we had agreed that we would keep living in the same house for 2 months, to give him time to figure out what he is going to do. So, on SAT, I helped him move all of his big stuff to a storag...

stephaniej · stephaniej

At least, this is true of my HP as I understand my HP to be. My HP can't stop loving me, and can't stop forgiving me.

stephaniej · stephaniej

This is my mantra in this exact moment. A minor blowup on the phone, that I cut short by saying I love you, I'll talk to you later, good-bye. And now I'm fighting that co-dependent urge to call back, smooth things over, apologize for things I never did, just to make peace. But I know to do that would only...

kel246 · kel246

Hi. This is my first post. I really don't want to make an outreach call but I don't want to isolate. I actually do want to isolate, stick my head in the sand and feel like a victim but I'm taking contrary action and typing away. Really feel so grateful for Al-Anon and the support I find here. I have a lot goin...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I'm doing fine these days with emotional detachment with my AH, and being physically separated helps a lot, but the financial mess that my AH has created is not allowing me to stay on "my side of sidewalk." I can't just mind my own business and just work on myself when it comes to the IRS, our ho...

rehprof · rehprof

I've been doing a really good job of detaching from my soon to be ex AH. Then my 15 year old tells me today that "Dad told me he needed money for his car insurance so I lent him $100..he says he will pay me back $150 next week" My A HAS a truck. He hasn't worked in 2 years. The truck is bad on gas so his D...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I'm currently trying to wrap my brain around this... I got married last June. In marriage it's supposed to be about merging 2 lives, and making sacrifices for each other, loving each other and building a life. Currently the series at church is on marriage, based directly off the book the blessed marri...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Happy Heart Day! Here's a short youtube video that might soothe your heart if it's open the the messages. If not, perhaps another day. My wish for all of you is that you don't look at the closed door, but put your focus on the doors that are now open. That is one of the messages in this video that "pi...

lazzykat · lazzykat

Why is it that I am the one the feels like its my fault the my husband drinks? I keep thinking is it something that I did.

Mickki · Mickki

HI there. I have encountered a situation going on with the group I call my home group and I need some input. I have not seen anything like I am encountering in all the posts. Found alanon just when I needed it. I have been in al anon for about 18 months and have been pretty consistant in my weekly meetings. B...

GettingStronger · GettingStronger

Someone used the term "dry drunk" with me to explain when my exAH still exhibits the same thought processes as when he was drinking. We've been divorced nearly two years and he still continues to try to make amends... which would be endearing if it didn't always bring such a stark reality th...

TLD · TLD

well this just got worse. I have now had to involve victim services. He came home in a rage again at 3am on friday in which he virtually baited me to get mad. I chose to leave however, now he is saying i ran him over. Which is a load of crap and now he has phoned MCFD which is the ministry for children here an...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I'm coming to my MIPers for support and positive thoughts, since lord knows I haven't gotten any from my AH. But I don't want to make this post about my AH. My mom called me last night to tell me my brother had been in a bad car accident. Although I don't really identify my brother as my qualifier (he has h...

peacewithin · peacewithin

I been going through some health problems. and they thought I had cancer they wanted to do a biopsy. I was getting scared I never asked my AH for support in years. He knew what I was going through so he said he would go with me. I never told him how scared I was I just acted my strong self as I always been in our 33...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

If you missed my post I will give you the back ground. I took my addicted son's dog to my home because she was not being cared for properly, I had her for almost two years. I told my son he could have the back when he could feed and care for her, he made no effort to do better. Then about a week and a half ago he c...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi All.... was wondering if I could get some information from the larger group regarding an issue that I didn't have to go through... This couple had a baby in early January - a healthy baby boy. Unknown to any of us, it appears that the mom is an alcoholic, and/or suffering from post-partum, or both......

stephaniej · stephaniej

My brother, who was in a car accident on Saturday night, has had substance abuse issues for years. He has said on numerous occasions that he is an atheist. To me, this photo is about as close as you can get to proof that a higher power was with him on Saturday night, regardless of whether he believes... ...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

Hello everyone! I am having an extraordinary Monday, let me tell you. I have been focusing on just a couple things lately because my brain began to malfunction and shut down from Al-Anon overload. Hahahaha! I want to thank everyone who provides me with ESH on this board. This is my life saver when I am...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just saying...when is it going to end? I am still in a lot of pain & it has been a month! I am getting really impatient & want to stay in bed! I am wanting to stay on this computer so I can't go home yet & lie down. As soon as I get home, I am going to. Tomorrow I am going to my usual alanon meeting &...

emil · emil

I would like to introduce myself and tell my story. I am Emil. It seems like I have living with a family member with addiction issues all of my life. The stories are different, but the feelings are similar. I grew up in a large family; my Dad died when I was a young girl; after a year or two my Mom started...

John · John

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Onajourney_startingnow · Onajourney_startingnow

Hello, I am new here and want to share my story. I would like some guidance and support as I am working through some major transitions but am scared. My mother was an alcoholic and passed away 8 years ago. She basically gave up on herself a few years before her death. She was a binge drinker and basical...

Debilyn · Debilyn

every one of you who responded was so right. I had written back to all then somehow it disappeared. I hate that. She had been out to dinner, had two beers, came home had another. Opened email. She thought a letter someone had written to me, I had fw to her, was me to her!Hope that made sense. It was my mentor,...

danni · danni

There was a great reading in One Day at a Time in Al Anon today that really address how we react to hangovers. For those of you who know me, you know that the hangovers REALLY bother me, so I was glad to read this morning's passage. Just wanted to pass it along!

Pushka · Pushka

It was a rough weekend, .. I'm glad I had the kids. They kept me busy and we had a good time. I don't know why .. no, ... I do know why it was so hard. I just felt really emotionally raw. It was one simple text, nothing bad, nothing mean, just him reaching out. I am so angry at myself for it meaning so much to...

Ariel · Ariel

Can anyone recommend books other than "Getting Them Sober"? I already have vol 1&2. I am looking for something in the Kindle Store. The nearest bookstore is 35 mins away, but I'd be happy to drive to get some good ones. I also can't find any FTF meetings on Saturday afternoons or Sunda...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Could use a little support (Preview) AH just walked out. Mad about... well, mad about whatever turmoil is his. I didn't argue. I remainded calm. I said one thing I shouldn't have. I apologized. I calmly spoke my truth: "I'm afraid of you and what you have become." I'm calm. Quiet. Increasing my conscious contact with my HP. My s...	Very Very Tired	13	474	Feb 18, 2012 by Very Very Tired
	I need help trying to figure out what to do (Preview) I will make this brief. My AH was under the influence tonight. I have stopped asking if he is, because he lies. He said he was going to make a phone call, but then called someone else. I asked which friend he was going to call since he has a few friends by that same first name. He totally forgot that h...	wifeofalcoholic	9	617	Feb 18, 2012 by TLD
	Telling the kids (Preview) Many of you have mentioned that I should let AH tell our son about what is going on. Son is asking questions, though. He stayed with a friend for 5 hours today and he asked what we were out doing and I told him that it was a thing for dad that I had to help him with. He asked what it was and I said you have to ask y...	ilovedogs	6	421	Feb 18, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Chatroom Friday what? (Preview) Chatroom is telling me it's under construction. What? lol Will be good to break down the door soon :) wp	wp	1	313	Feb 18, 2012 by John
	He got an extreme DUI (Preview) AH was pulled over for running a red light and failure to drive in one lane. The breathalyzer test read .179 and he did submit to a blood test, too. Thank God he didn't hurt anyone else on the road. They impounded his car, took his license and it looks like it's suspended for 90 days right now. I believe...	ilovedogs	16	659	Feb 18, 2012 by Debilyn
	AH 2 years clean and sober today (Preview) 2 yrs clean and sober today......he is living 8 blocks away, having an affair and abandoning his kids. My son went to school again with no breakfast and no lunch money. He is posting on fb how proud he is of his accompishments and what a better person he is...and I am sad that he does not even care to celebr...	wantinganswers	9	746	Feb 18, 2012 by Jerry F
	Al-Anon Couples meetings al-anon couples meetings al-anon family meetings al-anon (Preview) I was wondering if anyone knows of meetings for 'couples' in either Al-Anon or AA. My partner has been sober for 9 years but we need help with other issues directly related.	Isabella	3	9237	Feb 18, 2012 by hotrod
	My Pattern Repeating itself, AGAIN! (Preview) I am currently a little over a year into my 3rd marriage. The pattern is repeating itself yet again. In each case, they had drinking/controlling issues. Seems that I was okay with it in the beginning, but as time went on it became more and more unacceptable to me. I confronted and demanded changes,...	Sally	20	687	Feb 18, 2012 by pinkchip
	Missed my meeting, came home to a drunk (Preview) UGH! I had to miss my meeting tonight because my mom is in town and I had to take her to another city for an accordion meeting(she performs in an accordion orchestra). Anyway, I came home, pulled in the garage, and there is a full empty bottle of wine on the front seat and a half drunk cup of wine in the cuph...	ilovedogs	8	464	Feb 18, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	feeling calmer (Preview) Ihad a psychologist appointment yesterday afternoon. I am starting to warm to her a little bit. I would want to.. I have seen her about 10 times now. It is just so hard to bring down those barriers to people. I find it hard to show on the outside what I am feeling on the inside. I am so used to hiding my tr...	Lindaoakford	9	597	Feb 18, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	quick question... (Preview) Is it EVER good to retaliate??? I've never felt this way before but right now I think that retaliation would make me feel a whole lot better.... ESH please	kris10	13	757	Feb 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	Higher Power (Preview) I am fairly new to AlAnon and just got home from a meeting about the second step. I shared my experience about my higher power and how my concept of that had changed over the years. Now I am concerned that I can no longer be an AlAnon member because if I keep going to meetings I cannot share my truth. Our gr...	agapi	9	688	Feb 17, 2012 by agapi
	Breaking Down (Preview) I'm back at step one. My life is out of control. I went into the steps here on the board hotrod a help posting on there. Here are some of the things i'm dealing with. Who in my life is making me feel crazy and causing stress ? The A if I let him. Who has been controling your emotions and other areas of my life ?...	peacewithin	11	433	Feb 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	I Feel Stuck in an Enabling/Codependant Living Situation (Preview) I know exactly what is going on - intellectually but (and I know but is a big word) I am having a really hard time with my present living situation. I lost my job and am living with my daughter and watching my granddaughter in exchange for rent. My daughter has started using cocaine on a regular basis and I...	SusanThomas	4	857	Feb 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	Inbox (Preview) How does one get into their inbox? I can click I have a message but the message will not come up. thank you ok something is wrong again. Says I have two messages I do not. Now it won't let me delete or edit my messages. Says I don't have the right to do this or something? yikes! -- Edited by Debilyn on Thursday...	Debilyn	4	400	Feb 17, 2012 by Pushka
	Feeling a little bad (Preview) Is it bad that I hope the AH gets convicted of this DUI? He may lose his job if he gets convicted but I dont care because I am hoping it will get him to his bottom and he will go to inpatient rehab. I even called the prosecuter as did his sister in order to testify against him. He has enabling parents who are help...	emmyboo2	6	569	Feb 17, 2012 by Michelle814
	How do you deal with your A's enablers? (Preview) Admittedly, I am in a highly unique situation. One of my AH's friends has been staying with us for six weeks. He recently started a job where my AH works, and has been using this time to save some money, get to know the area, and look for a place (his wife and daughter will be moving up here too, once they fi...	stephaniej	11	3686	Feb 17, 2012 by All I can be
	Post traumatic stress? (Preview) So, aside from my father who is a desperately sick, barely functioning alcoholic, my alcoholic husband, I also have a recovering drug addict sister. I tend to forget about the impact she has had on my sickness. She introduced me to drugs when I was young and I won't even get into how bad that was, but it's...	GreenerGrass	5	464	Feb 17, 2012 by Pushka
	I just can't get over this religion thing (Preview) So since I have been learning about my HP and all I have had this lingering feeling that the Christian God I grew up with is sooo mad at me. I keep asking myself if I could be going to hell if I don't believe in all of the bible. I am obsessing about it. I was raised to believe that I would go to hell if I didn't b...	daisy31	18	1037	Feb 17, 2012 by Christy
	Our site is down.... (Preview) Our site is currently down so access to the chatroom via the site entrance is not possible at this time. I am working diligently to get it back up and running asap. John	John	2	341	Feb 17, 2012 by Tracey C
	Support Letter (Preview) I have been in Al-Anon for several months. Recently, my daughter's ABF was put on a sabbatical because of his drinking. His supervisor told him that his job would be held for 30 days pending him going to in-patient rehab. Unfortunately this ABF does not have health insurance and I really don't thin...	robind78	6	692	Feb 17, 2012 by canadianguy
	emil's update (Preview) I spoke to my husband about returning to Al- Anon and returning to therapy. It was hard for him to understand- why would I need to go to therapy and meetings since he is not drinking. I really was able to communicate my struggles the past few months, my insecurities, my lack of trust, my resentments, an...	emil	5	437	Feb 16, 2012 by emil
	Apathetic (Preview) My soon to be ex is supposedly going on 6 months of sobriety. My lawyer is the only one who talks to him and my lawyer said that he was apethetic. I was wondering if it is normal to be apethetic while recovering from alcoholism or if he just does not care about me or the marriage? I was wondering if that is t...	ttpurtee	2	663	Feb 16, 2012 by Michelle814
	"Hurt people hurt people" (Preview) I heard that this weekend and it really struck me as to how true it is. In and of itself, it doesn't really mean anything. But I think it gives us an opportunity to step back, quit taking it personally, and remember that our alcoholics truly are sick. Definitely a new mantra for me...	usedtobeanyer	7	888	Feb 16, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Update this week (Preview) Thank you to everyone for your support. I am still at my parents and have met with victim services. They have confirmed my thoughts of the abuse I have put up for way too long. It's amazing that on my drive there, I thought, hm, is this the right thing to do? Yes, yes it is and I will pursue this. I feel ca...	TLD	7	462	Feb 16, 2012 by TLD
	Tuesday night java failure (Preview) Does anyone know why I can't get into the chatroom tonight? wp	wp	2	311	Feb 16, 2012 by wp
	It must be me? (Preview) My AH has relapsed. Smoking pot daily. So many don't know why it bothers me so much, but it does. I am trying to remain calm but I feel like my life is falling apart in front of my very eyes. My son is getting D's and F's in school, he is in middle school. He doesn't care and I don't know what to do. My daughter is a...	dragonflys	11	468	Feb 16, 2012 by stephaniej
	Trying to pick up the pieces (Preview) My husband has had an addiction to perscription pain pills for about 11 years now. For all these years I have taken care of almost everything, the house, our kids, his business and worked my own full time job. Last year he started to go to meetings and got clean. He has been for a year now. I hoped that t...	Tracy73	6	479	Feb 16, 2012 by wantinganswers
	Is this Codependant? (Preview) Okay, I do this thing on facebook. I will want to post a status of a saying that I love like today I posted "I am not perfect and that is fine with me". I really like that saying and posted it......only to go back and delete it 2 minutes later. I start thinking that someone will think I am weird e...	daisy31	9	479	Feb 16, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	Haven't posted for a while.. triggered and a bit lhigh strung (Preview) I haven't posted for a while. I have tried a few times but my internet access seemed to drop out, or it disappeared into the internet world somewhere... My last session with my psychologist nearly a fortnight ago knocked me around a bit. I posted the letter here I think. I am feeling better now but I was v...	Lindaoakford	4	447	Feb 16, 2012 by Lindaoakford
	Happy Valentines day! (Preview) Just wanted to wish everyone a happy Valentine's day. What are you all doing for V-day? My boys have a school party which I love being able to go to and get lots of cute pictures of them :) I bought my hubby a bag of his favorite licorice...how's that for romance ha! We don't do anything too special for V...	daisy31	7	424	Feb 15, 2012 by Michelle814
	Can we share some non-A type stuff? (Preview) I have been totally absorbed in A- and codependency-related stuff over the last few days, and it's definitely affecting my ability to stay serene. One of the things I really miss about having a "normal" life is just sharing random things about life. Since we've moved to a new area, I don't...	stephaniej	6	638	Feb 15, 2012 by stefani74
	frustration (Preview) Well for the second day in a row I can't access the room. So what techniques from our program will help me deal with this frustration? Is all this a test for us who are experiencing the same problem to really apply the program to this ? well for me I'm really not doing very well at it. lol but not funny. This ro...	sirchef	3	420	Feb 15, 2012 by likemyheart
	An exciting journey! (Preview) Well last night was our first Valentine's Day and it was our first night with all of our kids spending the night together with us. He's really working hard to be a better dad to his two and be a dad to mine as well. I am really proud of the effort he's making and he's very proud of his progress since becoming...	stefani74	1	362	Feb 15, 2012 by Michelle814
	spacious mind (Preview) Last weekend, my AH moved out. I had made the decision in early December, based on him breaking an important boundary, but we had agreed that we would keep living in the same house for 2 months, to give him time to figure out what he is going to do. So, on SAT, I helped him move all of his big stuff to a storag...	Iris lover of dogs	4	401	Feb 15, 2012 by never going back
	There are two things HP can't do (Preview) At least, this is true of my HP as I understand my HP to be. My HP can't stop loving me, and can't stop forgiving me.	stephaniej	6	424	Feb 15, 2012 by never going back
	It is not about me. It is not about me. It is not about me. (Preview) This is my mantra in this exact moment. A minor blowup on the phone, that I cut short by saying I love you, I'll talk to you later, good-bye. And now I'm fighting that co-dependent urge to call back, smooth things over, apologize for things I never did, just to make peace. But I know to do that would only...	stephaniej	7	506	Feb 15, 2012 by pinkchip
	you can take away the substance but the behavior remains. self-absorbed alcoholic alcoholic marriage getting married losing myself needs (Preview) Hi. This is my first post. I really don't want to make an outreach call but I don't want to isolate. I actually do want to isolate, stick my head in the sand and feel like a victim but I'm taking contrary action and typing away. Really feel so grateful for Al-Anon and the support I find here. I have a lot goin...	kel246	6	503	Feb 15, 2012 by surfgirl123
	Detachment Challenges When Finances are at Issue (Preview) I'm doing fine these days with emotional detachment with my AH, and being physically separated helps a lot, but the financial mess that my AH has created is not allowing me to stay on "my side of sidewalk." I can't just mind my own business and just work on myself when it comes to the IRS, our ho...	Green Eyes	7	596	Feb 15, 2012 by Breakingfree
	TICKED OFF! (Preview) I've been doing a really good job of detaching from my soon to be ex AH. Then my 15 year old tells me today that "Dad told me he needed money for his car insurance so I lent him $100..he says he will pay me back $150 next week" My A HAS a truck. He hasn't worked in 2 years. The truck is bad on gas so his D...	rehprof	5	479	Feb 15, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Conundrum (Preview) I'm currently trying to wrap my brain around this... I got married last June. In marriage it's supposed to be about merging 2 lives, and making sacrifices for each other, loving each other and building a life. Currently the series at church is on marriage, based directly off the book the blessed marri...	Jackie11	13	626	Feb 15, 2012 by Breakingfree
	A Few Messages For Your Heart (Preview) Happy Heart Day! Here's a short youtube video that might soothe your heart if it's open the the messages. If not, perhaps another day. My wish for all of you is that you don't look at the closed door, but put your focus on the doors that are now open. That is one of the messages in this video that "pi...	GailMichelle	4	450	Feb 15, 2012 by Yllek
	guilt (Preview) Why is it that I am the one the feels like its my fault the my husband drinks? I keep thinking is it something that I did.	lazzykat	10	497	Feb 15, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Just how anonymous is the meeting supposed to be? (Preview) HI there. I have encountered a situation going on with the group I call my home group and I need some input. I have not seen anything like I am encountering in all the posts. Found alanon just when I needed it. I have been in al anon for about 18 months and have been pretty consistant in my weekly meetings. B...	Mickki	10	811	Feb 15, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Why can't I just walk away? (Preview) Someone used the term "dry drunk" with me to explain when my exAH still exhibits the same thought processes as when he was drinking. We've been divorced nearly two years and he still continues to try to make amends... which would be endearing if it didn't always bring such a stark reality th...	GettingStronger	3	657	Feb 15, 2012 by Breakingfree
	From bad to worse (Preview) well this just got worse. I have now had to involve victim services. He came home in a rage again at 3am on friday in which he virtually baited me to get mad. I chose to leave however, now he is saying i ran him over. Which is a load of crap and now he has phoned MCFD which is the ministry for children here an...	TLD	10	606	Feb 15, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Car Accident (Preview) I'm coming to my MIPers for support and positive thoughts, since lord knows I haven't gotten any from my AH. But I don't want to make this post about my AH. My mom called me last night to tell me my brother had been in a bad car accident. Although I don't really identify my brother as my qualifier (he has h...	stephaniej	6	639	Feb 15, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Needed Support Should not of asked. (Preview) I been going through some health problems. and they thought I had cancer they wanted to do a biopsy. I was getting scared I never asked my AH for support in years. He knew what I was going through so he said he would go with me. I never told him how scared I was I just acted my strong self as I always been in our 33...	peacewithin	8	619	Feb 15, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I Got The Dog Back !! (Preview) If you missed my post I will give you the back ground. I took my addicted son's dog to my home because she was not being cared for properly, I had her for almost two years. I told my son he could have the back when he could feed and care for her, he made no effort to do better. Then about a week and a half ago he c...	DreamsOver	10	600	Feb 15, 2012 by Breakingfree
	alcoholism & breastfeeding (Preview) Hi All.... was wondering if I could get some information from the larger group regarding an issue that I didn't have to go through... This couple had a baby in early January - a healthy baby boy. Unknown to any of us, it appears that the mom is an alcoholic, and/or suffering from post-partum, or both......	canadianguy	7	4254	Feb 15, 2012 by Breakingfree
	HP is with us, whether or not we believe. (Preview) My brother, who was in a car accident on Saturday night, has had substance abuse issues for years. He has said on numerous occasions that he is an atheist. To me, this photo is about as close as you can get to proof that a higher power was with him on Saturday night, regardless of whether he believes... ...	stephaniej	3	316	Feb 14, 2012 by usedtobeanyer
	UP UP UP (Preview) Hello everyone! I am having an extraordinary Monday, let me tell you. I have been focusing on just a couple things lately because my brain began to malfunction and shut down from Al-Anon overload. Hahahaha! I want to thank everyone who provides me with ESH on this board. This is my life saver when I am...	Michelle814	3	406	Feb 14, 2012 by daisy31
	when is it going to end? (Preview) Just saying...when is it going to end? I am still in a lot of pain & it has been a month! I am getting really impatient & want to stay in bed! I am wanting to stay on this computer so I can't go home yet & lie down. As soon as I get home, I am going to. Tomorrow I am going to my usual alanon meeting &...	Hoot Nanny	1	365	Feb 14, 2012 by danni
	Introduce myself Hi I am Emil (Preview) I would like to introduce myself and tell my story. I am Emil. It seems like I have living with a family member with addiction issues all of my life. The stories are different, but the feelings are similar. I grew up in a large family; my Dad died when I was a young girl; after a year or two my Mom started...	emil	11	607	Feb 14, 2012 by SeekingAscension
	Physiology of Addiction (Video) (Preview) [video=]	John	1	403	Feb 14, 2012 by Debilyn
	New & looking for support :0) (Preview) Hello, I am new here and want to share my story. I would like some guidance and support as I am working through some major transitions but am scared. My mother was an alcoholic and passed away 8 years ago. She basically gave up on herself a few years before her death. She was a binge drinker and basical...	Onajourney_startingnow	3	572	Feb 14, 2012 by danni
	get the nail puller outer thing, experience with pain managemet anyone? (Preview) every one of you who responded was so right. I had written back to all then somehow it disappeared. I hate that. She had been out to dinner, had two beers, came home had another. Opened email. She thought a letter someone had written to me, I had fw to her, was me to her!Hope that made sense. It was my mentor,...	Debilyn	3	498	Feb 14, 2012 by Iris lover of dogs
	Hangover Helper (Preview) There was a great reading in One Day at a Time in Al Anon today that really address how we react to hangovers. For those of you who know me, you know that the hangovers REALLY bother me, so I was glad to read this morning's passage. Just wanted to pass it along!	danni	2	353	Feb 14, 2012 by danni
	My own worst enemy .. (Preview) It was a rough weekend, .. I'm glad I had the kids. They kept me busy and we had a good time. I don't know why .. no, ... I do know why it was so hard. I just felt really emotionally raw. It was one simple text, nothing bad, nothing mean, just him reaching out. I am so angry at myself for it meaning so much to...	Pushka	3	616	Feb 13, 2012 by danni
	Books & FTF Meetings (Preview) Can anyone recommend books other than "Getting Them Sober"? I already have vol 1&2. I am looking for something in the Kindle Store. The nearest bookstore is 35 mins away, but I'd be happy to drive to get some good ones. I also can't find any FTF meetings on Saturday afternoons or Sunda...	Ariel	7	887	Feb 13, 2012 by danni
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.