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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> think i maybe crazy
Post Info TOPIC: think i maybe crazy
1 day at a time


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think i maybe crazy
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my ah is now 9 months sober,this is what i always wished for.he is working his programs and goes to lots of meetings, as he should be thats where he needs to be.so why feel a sense of loss.i want to spend every waking moment with him,just like i did when we first met.i think about him ever second of the day.he is where he needs to be,working on himself and getting better with his friends and his hp and i know this. why am i so selfish by having a childish need to want to be with him all the time i go to alanon meetings,started a gym,but no matter what i do to preoccupy my self he is always on my mind.can a person be addicted to their ah?i feeling like im morning him but i havent lost him.swhat the hell is wrong with me?



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Michelle814


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This is very very common. Have you read the stories in How Al-Anon works. They are very eye opening, at least they were to me. It is quite common for al-anoners to feel just as "addicted" to the alcoholic as the alcoholic is to booze. Its also common that al-anoners feels almost jealous that their spouse is working a program, that they are receiving help from a source that is not us.. why coudlnt we have helped? But what I have learned is that none of my "helping" ever helped... what my AH needs is AA and his HP and his sponsor and his AA friends all around him. and what I need.. is the same. my HP, my al-anon friends, my meetings, my message board, my sponsor. the more I work on me, the more he works on him.. and then when we are toegther it is healthy. But your feelings are very normal.. please be gentle with you and please, keep coming back.

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Michelle!

No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
hotrod


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Hi One Day at a Time
 
Please remember that living with alcoholism is very destructive to our self esteem and to all our coping mechanism. They become completely skewed.
Meetings, sharing, connecting with others who are walking the same road is essential to the recovery of your True, Confident, Self
 
Sure you are feeling sad, and clingy It is normal. Any change good or bad requires adjustment and Change is hard. That is the reason we ask HP for Courage in the Serenity Prayer
 
Please be very gentle with yourself It will get better. So Live your log on name and Keep showing up for you and know you are worth it.
 


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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
maryjane


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Read again what Michelle wrote. It is the truth. I had the same (11 years ago). I still mourn for what "might have been." But it isn't. It is called alcohol"ism", not alcohol"wasm".

I hate the phrase "new normal", but that is exactly what it is. Things have changed. He has his program and friends that he won't even speak of to me. I have my program and my circle of friends and he is not a part of it. I wonder now how I ever got any work done back then. All I did was think about where he was and what he was thinking about. I wanted to get into his head and know everything. I felt like I didn't know him anymore. Today, yes, I know him. No big deal. Not much to know, actually. But I have my own life that is so much better. I have freedom. Freedom to not worry and obsess. Freedom to do what I want to do without worrying that he won't like it. Freedom to live and be the best me that I can be.

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maryjane
Debilyn


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lol my thought is this. He is like when you first met, so in love and we cannot stand to be apart.

He was gone really and this icky A monster was there. Well here he is again and omgawd he is back!!! geez I would be gaga too! lol

Be kind to yourself. this is normal. I am so glad you stll love him! many have been so tore up by that A monster disease the love is gone.

It also can be you want him so bad and are afraid to lose him again.

May I invite you to talk with him about dates. Even married people need to date and be wooed and all that. Be specific in telling him what you need. NOT honey can we go on a date?

More, you kno how men are. Honey there is a good movie on Friday at nine. Ya wanna go to  restaurant Italinian at 5, haha then to the movie???

my first husband and I dated every sunday. I am not into playing pool but he was. Sooo we would play pool and laugh drink pepsi and popcorn was great.

even a hike, walk drive whatever. Just so you guys do you have YOUR time to keep ya filled up till next time.

Sometimes men and some women need to know, making love and or making your spouse feel loved starts in the morn the first time you open your eyes or your mouth. A hug and real kiss before leaving can hold ya a lonnnnnng time...

GREAT Great post. I am smiling so big for you. debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
DreamXL


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Theres a good book..."co-dependant no more"  :)  may help you get some insight. 



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