The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is quite funny to me actually, I mean kind of funny. I tried to order dilemma of the alcoholic marriage on amazon, but the credit card is maxed out, so are all the other ones. Thanks AH.this is a dilemma. The house of cards is finally falling down. We can't afford our bills any more and we are going to go into foreclosure. We could afford them if hubby wasn't recklessly spending every last dime. Anyway, I feel like giving up.cant hold up the house of cards all by myself.
You know, that thought has come to my mind a lot over the last year or so - can't be only one person trying; Can't live within a budget if only one person doing so; can't resolve issues if only one person willing to, same holds true for parenting, can't raise well-behaved kids if one parent says yes, other says no, etc. Here's another kinda funny, I bought the book and have never read it because I opted out of my marriage - I think about reading it whenever its suggested but.... ha, I stil haven't made it through my christmas present stephen king book!
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I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
I've been in that position quite a bit over the past year (until the last couple months at least). I basically started withdrawing X amount ASAP on payday to make sure certain things were paid. And I set up another bank account to put some $ in here and there without her knowing... Obviously that can only help so much, as I have multiple accounts 6-8 months behind now. But at least i was able to get rent/car payment/insurance paid...
I am so sorry that you are going through this, what LMH said I really like "there's can't be only one person trying" and that really struck a cord today for me.
Thank you for your share so that I could hear this.
Something about having these kinds of things happen, yes it is stressful I have no doubt, try having two people acting out in different ways .. oi. Anyway, I am learning that these situations are catalysts for bigger and better things. It's not going to be this way forever, because pain is a great motivator for change. Someone recently mentioned that to me and it is actually one of my favorite sayings.
Protect yourself regardless financially it's important to have a backup plan for yourself.
Hugs P :)
Sending you lots of love and support.
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Thanks guys. Yes I do believe this is making big changes in my life. He says he's willing to go to AA, but of course continues to drink, lie and spend irresponsibly. I have no way of having a financial back up plan. I should have started my own bank account to hide money in long ago, it's just that there never is any money for me to do that. I have young children and I'm just trying to think of what's best for them. Me going out on my own with no money, no job, nobody to help me is probably not the best thing to do. I'm thinking I need to tough it out for a few more years until both my children are in school and then I can get a job or go to school, maybe then I will be able to provide better than I could now.
Your post really hit home for me! I went back to work just a couple of years ago, and having a fulltime job for the first time in our marriage has definitely changed my attitude about remaining in the marriage! I am still unsure what we will do, but the idea of starting over is a real one now. I started a separate bank acct last fall and started turning over the credit card bills (they're in AH's name) to him to pay; these small gestures have lifted a burden
(((((())))))) and good luck to you; hope you continue to find support here as I have!
