Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

I read a lot of posts here about setting boundaries when our A's are drunk. My problem is my A drinks in secret and NEVER admits to drinking. Of course I know when he has been drinking by his behavior but it is difficult for me to set boundaries about his drinking because he denies it. And dare I say to him tha...

oldergal · oldergal

Occasionally, I hear that "when the kids grow up" they will appreciate that you left/divorced the alcoholic, abusive spouse. Is this really true? Its a lot of work, to make a better life for our families, following the Al-Anon steps, lots of stress involved to make serious life changes su...

leeranger · leeranger

I had surgery yesterday for hand cancer and I need my husband's help with the kids more than ever. My right hand/arm is off limits for the next 2 weeks. Well, he decided to go get a 20 pack of beer today and drink it all. He knows my boundary is that he is to stay in his office when he drinks and so I feel like he is...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

In working on my recovery, I realize my mindset is my worst enemy, self pity can really take its toll. Here is my new reality: My life is the collective of MY choices, good and bad. I am not a victim. I make a choice every day to stay with my AH, I too can make a choice tomorrow to leave for any reason or no reaso...

soitgoes13 · soitgoes13

Hello Everyone. I am writing in this forum because I started dating a guy a few months ago and things were going really well then he started to pull away. I questioned him on this and he ultimately came clean with the fact that he is currently in AA and working on his 12 steps and has been discouraged by his s...

AliceD · AliceD

New here, and some basic facts about me: I come from a family of substance users. My parents, aunts, and uncles all use (or used) drugs and/or alcohol, and with the exception of two family members have kept their use predominantly recreational. My parents could, I suppose, be described as "f...

supermom · supermom

So...my husband has been sober for over 6 months this time. I still feel crummy and overwhelmed! He is going to meetings every night. I am going to meetings when I can. Once a week for sure. Twice if I can get him to watch the kids. I can not take our 3 kids to the meetings with me (that is a whole different...

dragonflys · dragonflys

Always looking for good books to read, I jumped on the one posted a little bit ago about verbally abusive relationships. As I am reading, I am trying to remember all of the arguments or crazymaking that occurred with my AH. I cannot seem to remember all the details, or how it started, or what the end resu...

leeranger · leeranger

I posted for the first time a few weeks ago. My husband was dry for about 8 years and goes on benders, his last one being a few weeks ago where he drank 3 bottles of vodka in 3 days. At that point, he was very remorseful and said he would start going to AA. Of course that didn't happen and he hasn't had anything t...

Chaya · Chaya

So, what has caused me the most fear in breaking up with my ex in recovery is what I have been most afraid to share. Here goes... When I look back on our relationship there are few times that were really amazing. There just aren't that many good times to remember, except for sex. In all prior relationship...

StinkySol · StinkySol

I have a 38 y/o son and daughter-in-law who are drug addicts. My son is also an alcoholic sober for over 10 years. They have lost custody of their children. Am I in the right place for help or do I need to be with another narcotic family support group?

Amandakay · Amandakay

Last Christmas I bought Pink Floyd tickets for my son and my AH (and myself so I could be chauffer). My AH is in rehab now and is beginning to earn privileges. He has talked them into allowing him to go to the concert with my son and I but I don't want to take him. Heck! I don't even want to go. I have been able t...

texasgal · texasgal

I hadn't checked my Facebook account in awhile & this morning I checked it & on my husbands page I find that the woman he dated when we were separated was his friend & every single post or pic he had she liked or she made a comment. I was mortified. He did not comment back to any of her comments. I...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Al Anon has helped me so much with anger. I used to constantly feel angry at everyone, because they weren't doing what I expected them to do. I feel proud of the fact that I've been able to institute a "live and let live" policy for most facets of my life. I'm not at 100%, but this has probably bee...

Chaya · Chaya

Went to a meeting tonight and I just feel so much better. I am so grateful to have finally found MIP and meetings in the community. I feel like this is what I've been needing my whole life. I really want to start doing the steps. I have been hesitant to ask someone to be my sponsor, but I think I will be moved to...

Temple · Temple

It is The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. I had obviously read it some time ago, because those were my squiggles and underlines and marginal comments. I guess I was ready to really hear what she is saying, this time around. It has helped me enormously to detach. She's got DDH down p...

gyzer02 · gyzer02

My AW left a 28 day recovery program 3 weeks ago. She has criticized the recovery facility emphatically and feels that I am partly to blame for her choosing the place. She has taken a drink at least once for sure and possibly 2 times. She had a sponsor while in the facility but has not gotten a sponsor sin...

pjm15 · pjm15

I just started here today and already feel so welcome and understood. I was talking to a friend (not a close one) who mentioned her H was an alcoholic out of the blue. I said mine was too, we chatted @ our respective issues. She said she's been to alanon meetings and will go w me if I wanted to go. Im not sure ho...

Bug · Bug

Hello everybody.... Thanks again for the warm welcome! Have a BIG day coming up tomorrow... my BF is coming to town tomorrow to see his kids, and wants to see me as well after his visit. He still has belongings at my place, and wants to pick up some more items. This will the the first I've seen him since 6/...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just want to say that I am feeling grateful today. I am so glad that I can feel this way after a couple of hard emotional days. I missed my dad a lot last night. But, I cried & felt & got over it. Lately, I have been having strange dreams. I don't need them analyzed but I just wonder if maybe I am going t...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

About a year ago I started my own business. Its really exciting and I love it. I was doing it at night and on the weekends because I had a full time day job. I made the decision to quit my day job so I could focus entirely on my business. What ended up happening though is I was laid off two weeks ago. I feel really...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I'm always so glad when I set boundaries. It has been the one thing that has built my confidence, improved my life and allowed me to regain my happiness. So when I'm presented with the opportunity, why must I drag my feet and hear those complacent little voices in my head going "oh what's the harm,...

imom · imom

I am finding lately that anything I say that has my own opinion in it is cause for my AH to start an argument. If my comments or conversation topics are not totally neutral or something that makes him look or feel good about himself, I cannot say it because he immediately gets defensive and starts an argu...

silent · silent

yes he showed me a gr8t weekend spent lots of money on me,drank just a little,he spoiled me all weekend long,showered mewith lots opf attentin,love and affection,and has asked my hand in marriege and he wants us to have a wedding,i told him lets take it slowwwww and wait 6 mths,to see how thinkgs r still...

Amandakay · Amandakay

I'm so frustrated... I don't know what to do. Ugh! My AH is in rehab and has gained some privileges. One of which is looking for a job... Yesterday he wanted to come home for a few hours but I told him I was not comfortable with that yet. I don't want to argue with him but that I'm just not comfortable with him...

holivex · holivex

I just posted here for the first time last night, after coming home from spending the day with my family at the lake to find my AH (who was running a fever and coughing terribly when we left that morning) drunk. I got very angry, but mostly contained it. I can't handle the drinking, but it's not the alcoh...

Tracy · Tracy

I have been seperated from ABf he has slipped off his programme and is getting sicker by the day. I on the other hand have been working hard at my programme I have really conected with my HP and I am enjoying myself. He contacted me yesterday when I explained I had nothing else to give he started beening na...

debhud · debhud

hi, refresher on my 36yr. old son who is actively drinking. history of pancreatitis. was told if he continues to drink he will die. wife recently left him after 15 years. he is spiraling downhill very rapidly. not eating. falling down drunk daily. i think you know what i mean... i have offered t...

mags123 · mags123

Hi my father is an alcoholic who went into recovery 10 years ago but recently is back drinking small amounts every so often. I went to a family wedding recently and had a few glasses of wine myself. I felt serious self loathing and rage for 3 days after and wanted to verbally attack someone. I feel so confu...

GettingA2ndChance · GettingA2ndChance

Good Morning everyone. My husband is an alcoholic. He has been going down this path for at least 4 years now. Heck, it could be even longer than that. His father was an alcoholic as well. His father has been sober now for 18 years. Back in March, as things were just as normal as ever, my AH came up to me in the...

pjm15 · pjm15

Hi everyone - read a lot of posts last night - couldn't sleep. I feel like I know you all and you all know what I'm going thru. I have 2 young children and no job or I'd be gone by now. AH (13 yr marriaed, also bipolar compulsive liar) does not think he has any problems - all me, I cause all the problems in our ma...

callmemara · callmemara

He came home again last night very drunk wanting sex. I CANNOT WILLNOT have sex with him when he's drunk. He wouldn't take no for an answer, he was following me around the house naked. He kept trying to touch me, kiss me, etc. He repeatedly tried to get into bed with me (smelling like the bar floor). He's...

Tigger · Tigger

Just for today I am keeping my hands off what is not mine. Other peoples problems, issues, beliefs, ideas, fears, challenges, behaviours, attitudes and choices are theirs and their responsibility. I am gonna live and let live. The last bit is the most important part....LIVE. I can get so focused on t...

littlehawk · littlehawk

I haven't been on in awhile. I need to still make this part of my day, even when things get busy. We're doing well here, so far. Both my parents just had surgery on different things. They are recovering mostly okay. I have been able to make myself stop trying to be the end all to everyone's everything, and d...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am excited to say things are going well. Tomorrow is 2 weeks since I ventured to a new city with my 2 girls and started a new job. I don't even miss my small town I left except a couple friends and my sponsor. My girls went to their dads for the weekend and I work all weekend and at night I watch movies and am he...

Pushka · Pushka

First off no kids for the weekend .. lol .. I really don't know how to act at times because of it. After years and many of them having another being attached to me it's been a new experience a few times out of the month to shake my arm and there is no one there falling off!! I love my kids they can hang on me all t...

katfshh · katfshh

My AF has been gone drinking now since Tuesday night. Up until today I haven't replied or answered his texts or calls. This morning he sent a text saying he has to work and can he come here? He is a handyman,and he has his own business. One of his customers, who is also our neighbor needs work done. So, I di...

texasgal · texasgal

Last night I had a wonderful dream about my husband & I. But then I woke up & realized where I was. I started to cry my husband hugged me tight. He didn't ask & I didn't say anything. My husband is my first everything. I feel like he tainted our relationship when he dated that woman while we were...

texasgal · texasgal

I'm home alone my husband went to a meeting & is fellowshiping with some of the guys. I tried calling some program friends but they were busy. I went to rent a movie but I keep thinking & worrrying about everything.

holivex · holivex

Hi, I'm glad to finally have found this forum. I've been married to an alcoholic for almost 13 years. Looking back, I can now see that what I thought was someone in his twenties who liked to party was really someone in the early stages of alcoholism. Now I feel like the worst kind of mother in the world t...

likemyheart · likemyheart

And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round....and laughed and laughed and laughed...

Tigger · Tigger

My partner just came in from work with the usual joyful sunny disposition (not). I get so sick of it that sometimes I resort again (slip back to) wanting to control. Sometimes I just can't detach a moment longer. I think I want to leave the relationship but I am filled with sadness at the loss that would be...

lacewing · lacewing

I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled Miracles in Progress Monday Night Al-Anon Meeting in our chat room at 9PM EST. Perhaps someone can fill in for me, it would be appreciated by those who regularly participate in our Meeting as well as myself. I hope to be back for next Monday Nights Meeting. ...

CDK · CDK

Hi everyone. I just wanted to reach out. Im very lonely. Ive spent the last month or so alone except for mtgs and my little road trip. Im trying so hard to learn to be alone. My kids are out of state visiting their dad, and they left right as things ended with my A. (I still struggle to call him my exbf...it cre...

Jennifer · Jennifer

is my personal space, not a flophouse for my drunk exhusband when he has nowhere else to go. That is what I said, what I meant, was it mean ... I don't know. It was honest and effective at midnight after a couple long days with little sleep. I sent him off the porch with a blanket and a container of water. And,...

dragonflys · dragonflys

My AH has been out of the house for 6 weeks now. I am still paying for the car that he is driving and the cell phone that he is using. He texts me today and told me that he passed his drug test for a job. Guess that means he hasnt done any drugs. He keeps asking if we can be a family again. I keep telling him the...

Path to Serenity · Path to Serenity

Had a bit of a explosion at my house a couple of days ago. Ex daughter-in-law called, left message on my cell phone - she was in a total raging meltdown. It really surprised me cause I'd never heard her like that - son had mentioned yrs ago that she could explode when using but I hadn't seen it. For 3 strai...

texasgal · texasgal

I went to meeting it felt good being in a meeting again. I even went to dinner with some of the members afterward & we laughed it was nice to laugh. I did not think of my husband. I felt like me again.

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I have been working on a letter that I intend to give to my AH next week, a few days before I leave for Florida. In the letter I basically tell him that I'm tired of accepting the unacceptable, that I fear his driving decisions on the suspended license are detrimental to our family, and that I don't approv...

goingbananas · goingbananas

Hello Everyone. This is my first post here. I'm glad to have found you all. I am struggling with detatching, especially with love. I understand the point of detatching in order to help myself, but I can't get over seeing it as a double edged sword. I love my AH when he is sober and I know he has a disease that...

silent · silent

me and my ex a are back together agin,i know its the honey moom stages we are in,we been back for 1 week,we have talked a whole lots about everything,what got us back together was he texted me and asked me if i would follow him to a job close by so he could see my dog milo, then he started doing alot of talking et...

Bug · Bug

Hello everybody... I'm new here... and really new to the whole Al-Anon experience. Just a bit of background... I've been living with my BF who is for the most part a binge drinker. He is going through a nasty divorce and custody battle that you just wouldn't believe... I mean its a 'made-for-Lifetime...

sarah1979 · sarah1979

Hi guys, I could really do with some advice. Having thought I'd at least managed step one in admitting that I am powerless over my AH's alcoholism I found myself making some really silly decisions. He has started displaying a lot of dry drunk behaviour again, he's stopped his AA meetings and has been...

callmemara · callmemara

My Grandma was married to an alcoholic and divorced him after having a daughter (my mom). My mom was married to an alcoholic and divorced him after having a daughter (me). I married an alcoholic and do not have a daughter or any other children because his harsh life style has ruined his sperm. I am the th...

oldergal · oldergal

You just start thinking and thinking about something over and over and over again, its maddening! So hard to shut your brain off. ! I hate it! If I was a saint I could just give it to my higher power and that would be the end of it. But it is easier said than done. Oldergal

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sitting at this lap-top that I am not used to is irritating me to no end! I am having a hard time typing--shoot! Anyhow, I am getting bored of going to the library these days. Not a whole lot is going on Facebook or my emails. I guess most people might be out enjoying the summer weather instead of staying in m...

texasgal · texasgal

I'm such a mess all the time. I have gone to meetings on and off. We separated for a 10 months and I became very active in program I even completed the steps for the first time in 5 yrs. I was beginning to feel good in my own skin. We decided to get back together but then while we had been apart he confessed that h...

arlene barefoot · arlene barefoot

My son, 32, is a drug addict. Two months ago he was arrested for shoplifting due to drugs. After all this time he finally admitted that he could not control it and he wanted help. He began seeing an addiction psychiatrist and was put on suboxone, but we became suspicious that he was using again and sure en...

katfshh · katfshh

Like I said, AF is out on another binge. I haven't seen or heard from him since yesterday am. Today out of the blue I get a text from him that only says, "As___le" Really, me? I'm the A-word? This just proves how ridiculous this disease is. Seriously. It's actually almost a little comical. I d...

CDK · CDK

Ok, so I left the ABF. I think it was the right choice, and am certainly trying to move forward. I dont contact him, etc. It was a clumsy exit. I didnt ever say "we are done!", I just...stopped. I come here, I see my therapist, I go to al anon & coda, I try to take care of my physical body w/ yoga,...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Setting Boundaries When They Won't Admit (Preview) I read a lot of posts here about setting boundaries when our A's are drunk. My problem is my A drinks in secret and NEVER admits to drinking. Of course I know when he has been drinking by his behavior but it is difficult for me to set boundaries about his drinking because he denies it. And dare I say to him tha...	surfgirl123	6	1151	Jun 28, 2012 by Oksie
	Question, Do the kids ever appreciate it? (Preview) Occasionally, I hear that "when the kids grow up" they will appreciate that you left/divorced the alcoholic, abusive spouse. Is this really true? Its a lot of work, to make a better life for our families, following the Al-Anon steps, lots of stress involved to make serious life changes su...	oldergal	13	645	Jun 28, 2012 by Oksie
	So mad. Trying to be strong. (Preview) I had surgery yesterday for hand cancer and I need my husband's help with the kids more than ever. My right hand/arm is off limits for the next 2 weeks. Well, he decided to go get a 20 pack of beer today and drink it all. He knows my boundary is that he is to stay in his office when he drinks and so I feel like he is...	leeranger	12	551	Jun 28, 2012 by Breakingfree
	My New Truths (Preview) In working on my recovery, I realize my mindset is my worst enemy, self pity can really take its toll. Here is my new reality: My life is the collective of MY choices, good and bad. I am not a victim. I make a choice every day to stay with my AH, I too can make a choice tomorrow to leave for any reason or no reaso...	surfgirl123	8	514	Jun 28, 2012 by Tigger
	Non-Alcoholic Dating Someone in AA, any advice? (Preview) Hello Everyone. I am writing in this forum because I started dating a guy a few months ago and things were going really well then he started to pull away. I questioned him on this and he ultimately came clean with the fact that he is currently in AA and working on his 12 steps and has been discouraged by his s...	soitgoes13	15	9233	Jun 27, 2012 by flyagain
	New Here, Believe I am Enabling an Addict, and Need Help! (Preview) New here, and some basic facts about me: I come from a family of substance users. My parents, aunts, and uncles all use (or used) drugs and/or alcohol, and with the exception of two family members have kept their use predominantly recreational. My parents could, I suppose, be described as "f...	AliceD	5	567	Jun 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	he is sober, so why I am I still feeling so crummy? (Preview) So...my husband has been sober for over 6 months this time. I still feel crummy and overwhelmed! He is going to meetings every night. I am going to meetings when I can. Once a week for sure. Twice if I can get him to watch the kids. I can not take our 3 kids to the meetings with me (that is a whole different...	supermom	10	689	Jun 27, 2012 by supermom
	Memory Loss??? Will it come back??? (Preview) Always looking for good books to read, I jumped on the one posted a little bit ago about verbally abusive relationships. As I am reading, I am trying to remember all of the arguments or crazymaking that occurred with my AH. I cannot seem to remember all the details, or how it started, or what the end resu...	dragonflys	11	704	Jun 27, 2012 by mags123
	Setting boundaries.. (Preview) I posted for the first time a few weeks ago. My husband was dry for about 8 years and goes on benders, his last one being a few weeks ago where he drank 3 bottles of vodka in 3 days. At that point, he was very remorseful and said he would start going to AA. Of course that didn't happen and he hasn't had anything t...	leeranger	5	911	Jun 27, 2012 by Oksie
	Worried I won't make a connection like that again (Preview) So, what has caused me the most fear in breaking up with my ex in recovery is what I have been most afraid to share. Here goes... When I look back on our relationship there are few times that were really amazing. There just aren't that many good times to remember, except for sex. In all prior relationship...	Chaya	8	429	Jun 27, 2012 by Jerry F
	Am I in the right place? (Preview) I have a 38 y/o son and daughter-in-law who are drug addicts. My son is also an alcoholic sober for over 10 years. They have lost custody of their children. Am I in the right place for help or do I need to be with another narcotic family support group?	StinkySol	7	552	Jun 27, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Driving my AH places (Preview) Last Christmas I bought Pink Floyd tickets for my son and my AH (and myself so I could be chauffer). My AH is in rehab now and is beginning to earn privileges. He has talked them into allowing him to go to the concert with my son and I but I don't want to take him. Heck! I don't even want to go. I have been able t...	Amandakay	10	853	Jun 27, 2012 by Amandakay
	upset & dont know how to handle it (Preview) I hadn't checked my Facebook account in awhile & this morning I checked it & on my husbands page I find that the woman he dated when we were separated was his friend & every single post or pic he had she liked or she made a comment. I was mortified. He did not comment back to any of her comments. I...	texasgal	12	641	Jun 27, 2012 by texasgal
	Seeing the anger that I used to feel... (Preview) Al Anon has helped me so much with anger. I used to constantly feel angry at everyone, because they weren't doing what I expected them to do. I feel proud of the fact that I've been able to institute a "live and let live" policy for most facets of my life. I'm not at 100%, but this has probably bee...	usedtobeanyer	7	732	Jun 27, 2012 by Aloha
	I love Al Anon! (Preview) Went to a meeting tonight and I just feel so much better. I am so grateful to have finally found MIP and meetings in the community. I feel like this is what I've been needing my whole life. I really want to start doing the steps. I have been hesitant to ask someone to be my sponsor, but I think I will be moved to...	Chaya	7	457	Jun 27, 2012 by Aloha
	Rereading a very enlightening book (Preview) It is The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. I had obviously read it some time ago, because those were my squiggles and underlines and marginal comments. I guess I was ready to really hear what she is saying, this time around. It has helped me enormously to detach. She's got DDH down p...	Temple	14	883	Jun 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	AW just home from recovery and is full of anger (Preview) My AW left a 28 day recovery program 3 weeks ago. She has criticized the recovery facility emphatically and feels that I am partly to blame for her choosing the place. She has taken a drink at least once for sure and possibly 2 times. She had a sponsor while in the facility but has not gotten a sponsor sin...	gyzer02	6	714	Jun 27, 2012 by gyzer02
	Q @ friend (Preview) I just started here today and already feel so welcome and understood. I was talking to a friend (not a close one) who mentioned her H was an alcoholic out of the blue. I said mine was too, we chatted @ our respective issues. She said she's been to alanon meetings and will go w me if I wanted to go. Im not sure ho...	pjm15	7	518	Jun 26, 2012 by pjm15
	Big day tomorrow (Preview) Hello everybody.... Thanks again for the warm welcome! Have a BIG day coming up tomorrow... my BF is coming to town tomorrow to see his kids, and wants to see me as well after his visit. He still has belongings at my place, and wants to pick up some more items. This will the the first I've seen him since 6/...	Bug	4	533	Jun 26, 2012 by Mattie
	feelin' grateful! (Preview) I just want to say that I am feeling grateful today. I am so glad that I can feel this way after a couple of hard emotional days. I missed my dad a lot last night. But, I cried & felt & got over it. Lately, I have been having strange dreams. I don't need them analyzed but I just wonder if maybe I am going t...	Hoot Nanny	1	266	Jun 26, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	I'm not sure what it is. (Preview) About a year ago I started my own business. Its really exciting and I love it. I was doing it at night and on the weekends because I had a full time day job. I made the decision to quit my day job so I could focus entirely on my business. What ended up happening though is I was laid off two weeks ago. I feel really...	StargazerLily	5	541	Jun 26, 2012 by StargazerLily
	Why do I still find this difficult? (Preview) I'm always so glad when I set boundaries. It has been the one thing that has built my confidence, improved my life and allowed me to regain my happiness. So when I'm presented with the opportunity, why must I drag my feet and hear those complacent little voices in my head going "oh what's the harm,...	AStrongerMe	5	637	Jun 26, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	walking on eggshells (Preview) I am finding lately that anything I say that has my own opinion in it is cause for my AH to start an argument. If my comments or conversation topics are not totally neutral or something that makes him look or feel good about himself, I cannot say it because he immediately gets defensive and starts an argu...	imom	8	721	Jun 26, 2012 by Smukke
	on my pink cloud (Preview) yes he showed me a gr8t weekend spent lots of money on me,drank just a little,he spoiled me all weekend long,showered mewith lots opf attentin,love and affection,and has asked my hand in marriege and he wants us to have a wedding,i told him lets take it slowwwww and wait 6 mths,to see how thinkgs r still...	silent	5	2426	Jun 26, 2012 by pinkchip
	Ugh! AH in rehab but came home to "pick up a few things" while I was at work.. (Preview) I'm so frustrated... I don't know what to do. Ugh! My AH is in rehab and has gained some privileges. One of which is looking for a job... Yesterday he wanted to come home for a few hours but I told him I was not comfortable with that yet. I don't want to argue with him but that I'm just not comfortable with him...	Amandakay	3	450	Jun 26, 2012 by pinkchip
	Ugly, ugly scene tonight. When will I get over being so angry? (Preview) I just posted here for the first time last night, after coming home from spending the day with my family at the lake to find my AH (who was running a fever and coughing terribly when we left that morning) drunk. I got very angry, but mostly contained it. I can't handle the drinking, but it's not the alcoh...	holivex	8	655	Jun 26, 2012 by pinkchip
	manipulation (Preview) I have been seperated from ABf he has slipped off his programme and is getting sicker by the day. I on the other hand have been working hard at my programme I have really conected with my HP and I am enjoying myself. He contacted me yesterday when I explained I had nothing else to give he started beening na...	Tracy	4	628	Jun 26, 2012 by surfgirl123
	update on dying son (Preview) hi, refresher on my 36yr. old son who is actively drinking. history of pancreatitis. was told if he continues to drink he will die. wife recently left him after 15 years. he is spiraling downhill very rapidly. not eating. falling down drunk daily. i think you know what i mean... i have offered t...	debhud	10	650	Jun 26, 2012 by Ness
	i feel self loathing when i take a drink?? (Preview) Hi my father is an alcoholic who went into recovery 10 years ago but recently is back drinking small amounts every so often. I went to a family wedding recently and had a few glasses of wine myself. I felt serious self loathing and rage for 3 days after and wanted to verbally attack someone. I feel so confu...	mags123	6	704	Jun 26, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I can't believe this is my life now. (Preview) Good Morning everyone. My husband is an alcoholic. He has been going down this path for at least 4 years now. Heck, it could be even longer than that. His father was an alcoholic as well. His father has been sober now for 18 years. Back in March, as things were just as normal as ever, my AH came up to me in the...	GettingA2ndChance	13	751	Jun 26, 2012 by GettingA2ndChance
	New here - very screwed up marriage (Preview) Hi everyone - read a lot of posts last night - couldn't sleep. I feel like I know you all and you all know what I'm going thru. I have 2 young children and no job or I'd be gone by now. AH (13 yr marriaed, also bipolar compulsive liar) does not think he has any problems - all me, I cause all the problems in our ma...	pjm15	8	664	Jun 26, 2012 by pjm15
	sex with a drunk person (Preview) He came home again last night very drunk wanting sex. I CANNOT WILLNOT have sex with him when he's drunk. He wouldn't take no for an answer, he was following me around the house naked. He kept trying to touch me, kiss me, etc. He repeatedly tried to get into bed with me (smelling like the bar floor). He's...	callmemara	5	916	Jun 26, 2012 by maryjane
	Hands off (Preview) Just for today I am keeping my hands off what is not mine. Other peoples problems, issues, beliefs, ideas, fears, challenges, behaviours, attitudes and choices are theirs and their responsibility. I am gonna live and let live. The last bit is the most important part....LIVE. I can get so focused on t...	Tigger	9	830	Jun 26, 2012 by PP
	It's been awhile (Preview) I haven't been on in awhile. I need to still make this part of my day, even when things get busy. We're doing well here, so far. Both my parents just had surgery on different things. They are recovering mostly okay. I have been able to make myself stop trying to be the end all to everyone's everything, and d...	littlehawk	2	345	Jun 26, 2012 by PP
	My new fresh start (Preview) I am excited to say things are going well. Tomorrow is 2 weeks since I ventured to a new city with my 2 girls and started a new job. I don't even miss my small town I left except a couple friends and my sponsor. My girls went to their dads for the weekend and I work all weekend and at night I watch movies and am he...	Breakingfree	14	774	Jun 25, 2012 by imom
	Things that are different in my life today .. (Preview) First off no kids for the weekend .. lol .. I really don't know how to act at times because of it. After years and many of them having another being attached to me it's been a new experience a few times out of the month to shake my arm and there is no one there falling off!! I love my kids they can hang on me all t...	Pushka	7	534	Jun 25, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	I'm getting there. (Preview) My AF has been gone drinking now since Tuesday night. Up until today I haven't replied or answered his texts or calls. This morning he sent a text saying he has to work and can he come here? He is a handyman,and he has his own business. One of his customers, who is also our neighbor needs work done. So, I di...	katfshh	6	535	Jun 25, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	dreams (Preview) Last night I had a wonderful dream about my husband & I. But then I woke up & realized where I was. I started to cry my husband hugged me tight. He didn't ask & I didn't say anything. My husband is my first everything. I feel like he tainted our relationship when he dated that woman while we were...	texasgal	2	308	Jun 25, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	home alone (Preview) I'm home alone my husband went to a meeting & is fellowshiping with some of the guys. I tried calling some program friends but they were busy. I went to rent a movie but I keep thinking & worrrying about everything.	texasgal	8	587	Jun 25, 2012 by texasgal
	New here... (Preview) Hi, I'm glad to finally have found this forum. I've been married to an alcoholic for almost 13 years. Looking back, I can now see that what I thought was someone in his twenties who liked to party was really someone in the early stages of alcoholism. Now I feel like the worst kind of mother in the world t...	holivex	4	628	Jun 25, 2012 by Breakingfree
	A Sunday Funny (Preview) And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round....and laughed and laughed and laughed...	likemyheart	8	387	Jun 25, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Controlling again (Preview) My partner just came in from work with the usual joyful sunny disposition (not). I get so sick of it that sometimes I resort again (slip back to) wanting to control. Sometimes I just can't detach a moment longer. I think I want to leave the relationship but I am filled with sadness at the loss that would be...	Tigger	8	586	Jun 25, 2012 by Pushka
	MIP Al-Anon Meeting for Monday, June 25 @ 9PM EST. (Preview) I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled Miracles in Progress Monday Night Al-Anon Meeting in our chat room at 9PM EST. Perhaps someone can fill in for me, it would be appreciated by those who regularly participate in our Meeting as well as myself. I hope to be back for next Monday Nights Meeting. ...	lacewing	0	328	Jun 25, 2012 by lacewing
	Lonely. (Preview) Hi everyone. I just wanted to reach out. Im very lonely. Ive spent the last month or so alone except for mtgs and my little road trip. Im trying so hard to learn to be alone. My kids are out of state visiting their dad, and they left right as things ended with my A. (I still struggle to call him my exbf...it cre...	CDK	12	728	Jun 25, 2012 by lightblue2
	My house (Preview) is my personal space, not a flophouse for my drunk exhusband when he has nowhere else to go. That is what I said, what I meant, was it mean ... I don't know. It was honest and effective at midnight after a couple long days with little sleep. I sent him off the porch with a blanket and a container of water. And,...	Jennifer	5	531	Jun 24, 2012 by Jennifer
	How long do I sit and wait? (Preview) My AH has been out of the house for 6 weeks now. I am still paying for the car that he is driving and the cell phone that he is using. He texts me today and told me that he passed his drug test for a job. Guess that means he hasnt done any drugs. He keeps asking if we can be a family again. I keep telling him the...	dragonflys	5	683	Jun 24, 2012 by dragonflys
	Patting myself on the back (Preview) Had a bit of a explosion at my house a couple of days ago. Ex daughter-in-law called, left message on my cell phone - she was in a total raging meltdown. It really surprised me cause I'd never heard her like that - son had mentioned yrs ago that she could explode when using but I hadn't seen it. For 3 strai...	Path to Serenity	5	545	Jun 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	meeting :) (Preview) I went to meeting it felt good being in a meeting again. I even went to dinner with some of the members afterward & we laughed it was nice to laugh. I did not think of my husband. I felt like me again.	texasgal	2	368	Jun 24, 2012 by Chaya
	Wrote my A a letter (Preview) I have been working on a letter that I intend to give to my AH next week, a few days before I leave for Florida. In the letter I basically tell him that I'm tired of accepting the unacceptable, that I fear his driving decisions on the suspended license are detrimental to our family, and that I don't approv...	ilovedogs	20	745	Jun 23, 2012 by Bettina
	Was does detatchment look like for you? (Preview) Hello Everyone. This is my first post here. I'm glad to have found you all. I am struggling with detatching, especially with love. I understand the point of detatching in order to help myself, but I can't get over seeing it as a double edged sword. I love my AH when he is sober and I know he has a disease that...	goingbananas	18	850	Jun 23, 2012 by goingbananas
	back agin,keeping boundries (Preview) me and my ex a are back together agin,i know its the honey moom stages we are in,we been back for 1 week,we have talked a whole lots about everything,what got us back together was he texted me and asked me if i would follow him to a job close by so he could see my dog milo, then he started doing alot of talking et...	silent	5	700	Jun 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Another newbie (Preview) Hello everybody... I'm new here... and really new to the whole Al-Anon experience. Just a bit of background... I've been living with my BF who is for the most part a binge drinker. He is going through a nasty divorce and custody battle that you just wouldn't believe... I mean its a 'made-for-Lifetime...	Bug	8	560	Jun 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	When is it time to give up on your relationship with the alcoholic (Preview) Hi guys, I could really do with some advice. Having thought I'd at least managed step one in admitting that I am powerless over my AH's alcoholism I found myself making some really silly decisions. He has started displaying a lot of dry drunk behaviour again, he's stopped his AA meetings and has been...	sarah1979	10	957	Jun 23, 2012 by sarah1979
	Family Pattern (Preview) My Grandma was married to an alcoholic and divorced him after having a daughter (my mom). My mom was married to an alcoholic and divorced him after having a daughter (me). I married an alcoholic and do not have a daughter or any other children because his harsh life style has ruined his sperm. I am the th...	callmemara	6	632	Jun 23, 2012 by Tigger
	Obsessing What Is It? (Preview) You just start thinking and thinking about something over and over and over again, its maddening! So hard to shut your brain off. ! I hate it! If I was a saint I could just give it to my higher power and that would be the end of it. But it is easier said than done. Oldergal	oldergal	7	710	Jun 23, 2012 by hotrod
	what do you do when you don't know what to do? (Preview) Sitting at this lap-top that I am not used to is irritating me to no end! I am having a hard time typing--shoot! Anyhow, I am getting bored of going to the library these days. Not a whole lot is going on Facebook or my emails. I guess most people might be out enjoying the summer weather instead of staying in m...	Hoot Nanny	7	596	Jun 23, 2012 by Jerry F
	addicted to my husband (Preview) I'm such a mess all the time. I have gone to meetings on and off. We separated for a 10 months and I became very active in program I even completed the steps for the first time in 5 yrs. I was beginning to feel good in my own skin. We decided to get back together but then while we had been apart he confessed that h...	texasgal	10	669	Jun 23, 2012 by texasgal
	What to tell 5 year old grandson (Preview) My son, 32, is a drug addict. Two months ago he was arrested for shoplifting due to drugs. After all this time he finally admitted that he could not control it and he wanted help. He began seeing an addiction psychiatrist and was put on suboxone, but we became suspicious that he was using again and sure en...	arlene barefoot	6	572	Jun 23, 2012 by Debilyn
	Wow! (Preview) Like I said, AF is out on another binge. I haven't seen or heard from him since yesterday am. Today out of the blue I get a text from him that only says, "As___le" Really, me? I'm the A-word? This just proves how ridiculous this disease is. Seriously. It's actually almost a little comical. I d...	katfshh	7	570	Jun 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Why cant I stop abusing myself? (Preview) Ok, so I left the ABF. I think it was the right choice, and am certainly trying to move forward. I dont contact him, etc. It was a clumsy exit. I didnt ever say "we are done!", I just...stopped. I come here, I see my therapist, I go to al anon & coda, I try to take care of my physical body w/ yoga,...	CDK	9	767	Jun 22, 2012 by orchidlover
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.