Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

I'm always so glad when I set boundaries. It has been the one thing that has built my confidence, improved my life and allowed me to regain my happiness. So when I'm presented with the opportunity, why must I drag my feet and hear those complacent little voices in my head going "oh what's the harm,...

imom · imom

I am finding lately that anything I say that has my own opinion in it is cause for my AH to start an argument. If my comments or conversation topics are not totally neutral or something that makes him look or feel good about himself, I cannot say it because he immediately gets defensive and starts an argu...

silent · silent

yes he showed me a gr8t weekend spent lots of money on me,drank just a little,he spoiled me all weekend long,showered mewith lots opf attentin,love and affection,and has asked my hand in marriege and he wants us to have a wedding,i told him lets take it slowwwww and wait 6 mths,to see how thinkgs r still...

Amandakay · Amandakay

I'm so frustrated... I don't know what to do. Ugh! My AH is in rehab and has gained some privileges. One of which is looking for a job... Yesterday he wanted to come home for a few hours but I told him I was not comfortable with that yet. I don't want to argue with him but that I'm just not comfortable with him...

holivex · holivex

I just posted here for the first time last night, after coming home from spending the day with my family at the lake to find my AH (who was running a fever and coughing terribly when we left that morning) drunk. I got very angry, but mostly contained it. I can't handle the drinking, but it's not the alcoh...

Tracy · Tracy

I have been seperated from ABf he has slipped off his programme and is getting sicker by the day. I on the other hand have been working hard at my programme I have really conected with my HP and I am enjoying myself. He contacted me yesterday when I explained I had nothing else to give he started beening na...

debhud · debhud

hi, refresher on my 36yr. old son who is actively drinking. history of pancreatitis. was told if he continues to drink he will die. wife recently left him after 15 years. he is spiraling downhill very rapidly. not eating. falling down drunk daily. i think you know what i mean... i have offered t...

mags123 · mags123

Hi my father is an alcoholic who went into recovery 10 years ago but recently is back drinking small amounts every so often. I went to a family wedding recently and had a few glasses of wine myself. I felt serious self loathing and rage for 3 days after and wanted to verbally attack someone. I feel so confu...

GettingA2ndChance · GettingA2ndChance

Good Morning everyone. My husband is an alcoholic. He has been going down this path for at least 4 years now. Heck, it could be even longer than that. His father was an alcoholic as well. His father has been sober now for 18 years. Back in March, as things were just as normal as ever, my AH came up to me in the...

pjm15 · pjm15

Hi everyone - read a lot of posts last night - couldn't sleep. I feel like I know you all and you all know what I'm going thru. I have 2 young children and no job or I'd be gone by now. AH (13 yr marriaed, also bipolar compulsive liar) does not think he has any problems - all me, I cause all the problems in our ma...

callmemara · callmemara

He came home again last night very drunk wanting sex. I CANNOT WILLNOT have sex with him when he's drunk. He wouldn't take no for an answer, he was following me around the house naked. He kept trying to touch me, kiss me, etc. He repeatedly tried to get into bed with me (smelling like the bar floor). He's...

Tigger · Tigger

Just for today I am keeping my hands off what is not mine. Other peoples problems, issues, beliefs, ideas, fears, challenges, behaviours, attitudes and choices are theirs and their responsibility. I am gonna live and let live. The last bit is the most important part....LIVE. I can get so focused on t...

littlehawk · littlehawk

I haven't been on in awhile. I need to still make this part of my day, even when things get busy. We're doing well here, so far. Both my parents just had surgery on different things. They are recovering mostly okay. I have been able to make myself stop trying to be the end all to everyone's everything, and d...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am excited to say things are going well. Tomorrow is 2 weeks since I ventured to a new city with my 2 girls and started a new job. I don't even miss my small town I left except a couple friends and my sponsor. My girls went to their dads for the weekend and I work all weekend and at night I watch movies and am he...

Pushka · Pushka

First off no kids for the weekend .. lol .. I really don't know how to act at times because of it. After years and many of them having another being attached to me it's been a new experience a few times out of the month to shake my arm and there is no one there falling off!! I love my kids they can hang on me all t...

katfshh · katfshh

My AF has been gone drinking now since Tuesday night. Up until today I haven't replied or answered his texts or calls. This morning he sent a text saying he has to work and can he come here? He is a handyman,and he has his own business. One of his customers, who is also our neighbor needs work done. So, I di...

texasgal · texasgal

Last night I had a wonderful dream about my husband & I. But then I woke up & realized where I was. I started to cry my husband hugged me tight. He didn't ask & I didn't say anything. My husband is my first everything. I feel like he tainted our relationship when he dated that woman while we were...

texasgal · texasgal

I'm home alone my husband went to a meeting & is fellowshiping with some of the guys. I tried calling some program friends but they were busy. I went to rent a movie but I keep thinking & worrrying about everything.

holivex · holivex

Hi, I'm glad to finally have found this forum. I've been married to an alcoholic for almost 13 years. Looking back, I can now see that what I thought was someone in his twenties who liked to party was really someone in the early stages of alcoholism. Now I feel like the worst kind of mother in the world t...

likemyheart · likemyheart

And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round....and laughed and laughed and laughed...

Tigger · Tigger

My partner just came in from work with the usual joyful sunny disposition (not). I get so sick of it that sometimes I resort again (slip back to) wanting to control. Sometimes I just can't detach a moment longer. I think I want to leave the relationship but I am filled with sadness at the loss that would be...

lacewing · lacewing

I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled Miracles in Progress Monday Night Al-Anon Meeting in our chat room at 9PM EST. Perhaps someone can fill in for me, it would be appreciated by those who regularly participate in our Meeting as well as myself. I hope to be back for next Monday Nights Meeting. ...

CDK · CDK

Hi everyone. I just wanted to reach out. Im very lonely. Ive spent the last month or so alone except for mtgs and my little road trip. Im trying so hard to learn to be alone. My kids are out of state visiting their dad, and they left right as things ended with my A. (I still struggle to call him my exbf...it cre...

Jennifer · Jennifer

is my personal space, not a flophouse for my drunk exhusband when he has nowhere else to go. That is what I said, what I meant, was it mean ... I don't know. It was honest and effective at midnight after a couple long days with little sleep. I sent him off the porch with a blanket and a container of water. And,...

dragonflys · dragonflys

My AH has been out of the house for 6 weeks now. I am still paying for the car that he is driving and the cell phone that he is using. He texts me today and told me that he passed his drug test for a job. Guess that means he hasnt done any drugs. He keeps asking if we can be a family again. I keep telling him the...

Path to Serenity · Path to Serenity

Had a bit of a explosion at my house a couple of days ago. Ex daughter-in-law called, left message on my cell phone - she was in a total raging meltdown. It really surprised me cause I'd never heard her like that - son had mentioned yrs ago that she could explode when using but I hadn't seen it. For 3 strai...

texasgal · texasgal

I went to meeting it felt good being in a meeting again. I even went to dinner with some of the members afterward & we laughed it was nice to laugh. I did not think of my husband. I felt like me again.

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I have been working on a letter that I intend to give to my AH next week, a few days before I leave for Florida. In the letter I basically tell him that I'm tired of accepting the unacceptable, that I fear his driving decisions on the suspended license are detrimental to our family, and that I don't approv...

goingbananas · goingbananas

Hello Everyone. This is my first post here. I'm glad to have found you all. I am struggling with detatching, especially with love. I understand the point of detatching in order to help myself, but I can't get over seeing it as a double edged sword. I love my AH when he is sober and I know he has a disease that...

silent · silent

me and my ex a are back together agin,i know its the honey moom stages we are in,we been back for 1 week,we have talked a whole lots about everything,what got us back together was he texted me and asked me if i would follow him to a job close by so he could see my dog milo, then he started doing alot of talking et...

Bug · Bug

Hello everybody... I'm new here... and really new to the whole Al-Anon experience. Just a bit of background... I've been living with my BF who is for the most part a binge drinker. He is going through a nasty divorce and custody battle that you just wouldn't believe... I mean its a 'made-for-Lifetime...

sarah1979 · sarah1979

Hi guys, I could really do with some advice. Having thought I'd at least managed step one in admitting that I am powerless over my AH's alcoholism I found myself making some really silly decisions. He has started displaying a lot of dry drunk behaviour again, he's stopped his AA meetings and has been...

callmemara · callmemara

My Grandma was married to an alcoholic and divorced him after having a daughter (my mom). My mom was married to an alcoholic and divorced him after having a daughter (me). I married an alcoholic and do not have a daughter or any other children because his harsh life style has ruined his sperm. I am the th...

oldergal · oldergal

You just start thinking and thinking about something over and over and over again, its maddening! So hard to shut your brain off. ! I hate it! If I was a saint I could just give it to my higher power and that would be the end of it. But it is easier said than done. Oldergal

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sitting at this lap-top that I am not used to is irritating me to no end! I am having a hard time typing--shoot! Anyhow, I am getting bored of going to the library these days. Not a whole lot is going on Facebook or my emails. I guess most people might be out enjoying the summer weather instead of staying in m...

texasgal · texasgal

I'm such a mess all the time. I have gone to meetings on and off. We separated for a 10 months and I became very active in program I even completed the steps for the first time in 5 yrs. I was beginning to feel good in my own skin. We decided to get back together but then while we had been apart he confessed that h...

arlene barefoot · arlene barefoot

My son, 32, is a drug addict. Two months ago he was arrested for shoplifting due to drugs. After all this time he finally admitted that he could not control it and he wanted help. He began seeing an addiction psychiatrist and was put on suboxone, but we became suspicious that he was using again and sure en...

katfshh · katfshh

Like I said, AF is out on another binge. I haven't seen or heard from him since yesterday am. Today out of the blue I get a text from him that only says, "As___le" Really, me? I'm the A-word? This just proves how ridiculous this disease is. Seriously. It's actually almost a little comical. I d...

CDK · CDK

Ok, so I left the ABF. I think it was the right choice, and am certainly trying to move forward. I dont contact him, etc. It was a clumsy exit. I didnt ever say "we are done!", I just...stopped. I come here, I see my therapist, I go to al anon & coda, I try to take care of my physical body w/ yoga,...

atheos · atheos

If you make a decision, and that is followed immediately by months of crying and wishing you didn't have responsibilities so you could just kill yourself, you have probably made the wrong choice. It's taken me most of 2012 so far to figure it out, but I finally got the message, loud and clear: Abandonin...

georgem · georgem

Evening all, So my A G/f and I are doing better things have clamed down some and we both can see the big picture. But now I have ran in to a road block.... It started last week in our couples counseling. When she first joined AA and stopped drinking we both agreed that it would be best if I stopped drinking wi...

imom · imom

In my recent self-discovery I have realized that one of my biggest character defects is to overreact to things. For the past two days (yes, one day at a time) I have been working very hard and being pretty successful at being calm and understanding and as accepting as possible when dealing with my AH. ...

jlm889 · jlm889

I am new to Al-anon and wondering if it is really for me? I grew up in a home where religion was never discussed and has not been a part of my life. I want to be a part of Al-anon but this issue just makes me feel out of place. Any suggestions? Thanks!

tired of trying · tired of trying

OK, so I already have custody of my AD 16 year old son, now her 4month old has been placed with us for the last month and I am struggling what to do. Of course we love our gd to pieces and she is an easy baby BUT we are in our 60's my husband has health issues, I have a full time job and we are exhausted. I know everyo...

Findinghope · Findinghope

This week managed to somehow get worse for me. My AH is battling a pattern of weekly relapses, and then we found out this week that his ex-wife is trying to stop a planned visitation we had with his daughter for next week. I don't know what to do. I've tried comforting him, myself, and am just devastated. W...

IWannaFly · IWannaFly

I think it must have been a full moon. In April I kicked out my ABF of 5 yrs on the verge of a mental breakdown feeling my life force being sucked away I mustered up the courage and did it. Then..... a month later, several heartfelt promises, pleas to come back I let him back in. Just when I was starting to be...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

I just need to share this. It saddened me. Was walking down the street to grab some takeout. This drunk guy hit on me. I immediately recognised him from one of my al anon meetings. He grew up in an A home, also a member of AA, and is homeless. He didn't recognise me at all. I am so sorry he has apparently relaps...

katfshh · katfshh

I am determined this time to get off this ride. He was sober for 40 days. Everything here has been fine. We have been getting along well, he has been going to meetings and really making sure to get there even if he didn't feel like it. Last night, he said he was going to stay awake to watch a movie. I went downs...

Abigail426 · Abigail426

Dear friends, By the grace of my higher power and of the program I am able to recognize that everything that happens in my life happens for me and not to me. Having that said, relationships and communication are areas of my life that need a lot of work. The only way to improve is practice, right? I've been &...

CDK · CDK

Tonight, I went to my 1st step work me

Katy · Katy

I think I have come along way, at times i have been enraged by my husbands lack of care for me and inhability to read my mind and to show me love when I need it most, so I am trying to drop the BUT, the justification of if you would only do this I would do that, and it's becoming clear to me it's me thats got to do thi...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My A wife is a stay at home mom and has been for the last 5 years, since our daughter was born (we also have a 3 year old son). She has expressed interest in getting back into the workforce a few times in the last couple of years, and just recently an opportunity working with a friend that seemed perfect sudde...

imom · imom

I am new to this website but not new to alanon, although it has been quite a few months since I have attended a meeting. How do I stop arguing with my AH about his drinking? He has cut way back but the fact that he is drinking again bothers me so much. Our marriage counselor asked him to stop drinking this w...

kay115 · kay115

Hello everyone. I decided to get back on here, close to a year after my final post about moving out and leaving my AH. My life has changed so much. I am now divorced from my AH, I live in a new city, have my own apartment, a decent job, a new boyfriend, a whole new life. I think I have wanted to believe that this m...

Abigail426 · Abigail426

Well, this is my first time on the message board and I am quite excited! I've been attending al-anon for just about 3 years but don't always find the time to go to a meeting. I no longer live with my alcoholic mother but still maintain a close relationship with her and keep a distance from her drinking. I am...

Amandakay · Amandakay

Background: My father was an alcoholic until I was an early teen, I'm the oldest of 3, I'm on my 3rd marriage and my current husband is in rehab for his drinking problem... I just got off the phone with him and I just feel completely manipulated but I think I may have been manipulating the conversation som...

E14 · E14

How do I approach my daughter about her binge drinking?

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

It was nice to have a couple woman my age. The second half of the meeting was lots of cross talk and nomal conversations back and forth with lots of interruptions, I asked if they considered it cross talking and I was met with defensiveness. Maybe I should have just flowed with it? I am from the same size sm...

keeka8 · keeka8

Hi there, I am a 35 year old woman who has fallen in love with a 45 year old man. I am crazy about him. The way we met is amazing.. and he has traits that I have dreamed about in a man. I am not an addict, I can socially drink. However since we have been together, I will NOT drink in front of him. I respect and admire...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

Does an Al-Anon meeting locator mobile app. exist? If not, it would be great to have one developed. Just a thought .

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Why do I still find this difficult? (Preview) I'm always so glad when I set boundaries. It has been the one thing that has built my confidence, improved my life and allowed me to regain my happiness. So when I'm presented with the opportunity, why must I drag my feet and hear those complacent little voices in my head going "oh what's the harm,...	AStrongerMe	5	583	Jun 26, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	walking on eggshells (Preview) I am finding lately that anything I say that has my own opinion in it is cause for my AH to start an argument. If my comments or conversation topics are not totally neutral or something that makes him look or feel good about himself, I cannot say it because he immediately gets defensive and starts an argu...	imom	8	657	Jun 26, 2012 by Smukke
	on my pink cloud (Preview) yes he showed me a gr8t weekend spent lots of money on me,drank just a little,he spoiled me all weekend long,showered mewith lots opf attentin,love and affection,and has asked my hand in marriege and he wants us to have a wedding,i told him lets take it slowwwww and wait 6 mths,to see how thinkgs r still...	silent	5	2245	Jun 26, 2012 by pinkchip
	Ugh! AH in rehab but came home to "pick up a few things" while I was at work.. (Preview) I'm so frustrated... I don't know what to do. Ugh! My AH is in rehab and has gained some privileges. One of which is looking for a job... Yesterday he wanted to come home for a few hours but I told him I was not comfortable with that yet. I don't want to argue with him but that I'm just not comfortable with him...	Amandakay	3	403	Jun 26, 2012 by pinkchip
	Ugly, ugly scene tonight. When will I get over being so angry? (Preview) I just posted here for the first time last night, after coming home from spending the day with my family at the lake to find my AH (who was running a fever and coughing terribly when we left that morning) drunk. I got very angry, but mostly contained it. I can't handle the drinking, but it's not the alcoh...	holivex	8	606	Jun 26, 2012 by pinkchip
	manipulation (Preview) I have been seperated from ABf he has slipped off his programme and is getting sicker by the day. I on the other hand have been working hard at my programme I have really conected with my HP and I am enjoying myself. He contacted me yesterday when I explained I had nothing else to give he started beening na...	Tracy	4	582	Jun 26, 2012 by surfgirl123
	update on dying son (Preview) hi, refresher on my 36yr. old son who is actively drinking. history of pancreatitis. was told if he continues to drink he will die. wife recently left him after 15 years. he is spiraling downhill very rapidly. not eating. falling down drunk daily. i think you know what i mean... i have offered t...	debhud	10	604	Jun 26, 2012 by Ness
	i feel self loathing when i take a drink?? (Preview) Hi my father is an alcoholic who went into recovery 10 years ago but recently is back drinking small amounts every so often. I went to a family wedding recently and had a few glasses of wine myself. I felt serious self loathing and rage for 3 days after and wanted to verbally attack someone. I feel so confu...	mags123	6	660	Jun 26, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I can't believe this is my life now. (Preview) Good Morning everyone. My husband is an alcoholic. He has been going down this path for at least 4 years now. Heck, it could be even longer than that. His father was an alcoholic as well. His father has been sober now for 18 years. Back in March, as things were just as normal as ever, my AH came up to me in the...	GettingA2ndChance	13	705	Jun 26, 2012 by GettingA2ndChance
	New here - very screwed up marriage (Preview) Hi everyone - read a lot of posts last night - couldn't sleep. I feel like I know you all and you all know what I'm going thru. I have 2 young children and no job or I'd be gone by now. AH (13 yr marriaed, also bipolar compulsive liar) does not think he has any problems - all me, I cause all the problems in our ma...	pjm15	8	616	Jun 26, 2012 by pjm15
	sex with a drunk person (Preview) He came home again last night very drunk wanting sex. I CANNOT WILLNOT have sex with him when he's drunk. He wouldn't take no for an answer, he was following me around the house naked. He kept trying to touch me, kiss me, etc. He repeatedly tried to get into bed with me (smelling like the bar floor). He's...	callmemara	5	870	Jun 26, 2012 by maryjane
	Hands off (Preview) Just for today I am keeping my hands off what is not mine. Other peoples problems, issues, beliefs, ideas, fears, challenges, behaviours, attitudes and choices are theirs and their responsibility. I am gonna live and let live. The last bit is the most important part....LIVE. I can get so focused on t...	Tigger	9	770	Jun 26, 2012 by PP
	It's been awhile (Preview) I haven't been on in awhile. I need to still make this part of my day, even when things get busy. We're doing well here, so far. Both my parents just had surgery on different things. They are recovering mostly okay. I have been able to make myself stop trying to be the end all to everyone's everything, and d...	littlehawk	2	298	Jun 26, 2012 by PP
	My new fresh start (Preview) I am excited to say things are going well. Tomorrow is 2 weeks since I ventured to a new city with my 2 girls and started a new job. I don't even miss my small town I left except a couple friends and my sponsor. My girls went to their dads for the weekend and I work all weekend and at night I watch movies and am he...	Breakingfree	14	713	Jun 25, 2012 by imom
	Things that are different in my life today .. (Preview) First off no kids for the weekend .. lol .. I really don't know how to act at times because of it. After years and many of them having another being attached to me it's been a new experience a few times out of the month to shake my arm and there is no one there falling off!! I love my kids they can hang on me all t...	Pushka	7	487	Jun 25, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	I'm getting there. (Preview) My AF has been gone drinking now since Tuesday night. Up until today I haven't replied or answered his texts or calls. This morning he sent a text saying he has to work and can he come here? He is a handyman,and he has his own business. One of his customers, who is also our neighbor needs work done. So, I di...	katfshh	6	485	Jun 25, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	dreams (Preview) Last night I had a wonderful dream about my husband & I. But then I woke up & realized where I was. I started to cry my husband hugged me tight. He didn't ask & I didn't say anything. My husband is my first everything. I feel like he tainted our relationship when he dated that woman while we were...	texasgal	2	260	Jun 25, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	home alone (Preview) I'm home alone my husband went to a meeting & is fellowshiping with some of the guys. I tried calling some program friends but they were busy. I went to rent a movie but I keep thinking & worrrying about everything.	texasgal	8	545	Jun 25, 2012 by texasgal
	New here... (Preview) Hi, I'm glad to finally have found this forum. I've been married to an alcoholic for almost 13 years. Looking back, I can now see that what I thought was someone in his twenties who liked to party was really someone in the early stages of alcoholism. Now I feel like the worst kind of mother in the world t...	holivex	4	575	Jun 25, 2012 by Breakingfree
	A Sunday Funny (Preview) And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then He made the earth round....and laughed and laughed and laughed...	likemyheart	8	342	Jun 25, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Controlling again (Preview) My partner just came in from work with the usual joyful sunny disposition (not). I get so sick of it that sometimes I resort again (slip back to) wanting to control. Sometimes I just can't detach a moment longer. I think I want to leave the relationship but I am filled with sadness at the loss that would be...	Tigger	8	541	Jun 25, 2012 by Pushka
	MIP Al-Anon Meeting for Monday, June 25 @ 9PM EST. (Preview) I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled Miracles in Progress Monday Night Al-Anon Meeting in our chat room at 9PM EST. Perhaps someone can fill in for me, it would be appreciated by those who regularly participate in our Meeting as well as myself. I hope to be back for next Monday Nights Meeting. ...	lacewing	0	285	Jun 25, 2012 by lacewing
	Lonely. (Preview) Hi everyone. I just wanted to reach out. Im very lonely. Ive spent the last month or so alone except for mtgs and my little road trip. Im trying so hard to learn to be alone. My kids are out of state visiting their dad, and they left right as things ended with my A. (I still struggle to call him my exbf...it cre...	CDK	12	678	Jun 25, 2012 by lightblue2
	My house (Preview) is my personal space, not a flophouse for my drunk exhusband when he has nowhere else to go. That is what I said, what I meant, was it mean ... I don't know. It was honest and effective at midnight after a couple long days with little sleep. I sent him off the porch with a blanket and a container of water. And,...	Jennifer	5	486	Jun 24, 2012 by Jennifer
	How long do I sit and wait? (Preview) My AH has been out of the house for 6 weeks now. I am still paying for the car that he is driving and the cell phone that he is using. He texts me today and told me that he passed his drug test for a job. Guess that means he hasnt done any drugs. He keeps asking if we can be a family again. I keep telling him the...	dragonflys	5	635	Jun 24, 2012 by dragonflys
	Patting myself on the back (Preview) Had a bit of a explosion at my house a couple of days ago. Ex daughter-in-law called, left message on my cell phone - she was in a total raging meltdown. It really surprised me cause I'd never heard her like that - son had mentioned yrs ago that she could explode when using but I hadn't seen it. For 3 strai...	Path to Serenity	5	501	Jun 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	meeting :) (Preview) I went to meeting it felt good being in a meeting again. I even went to dinner with some of the members afterward & we laughed it was nice to laugh. I did not think of my husband. I felt like me again.	texasgal	2	312	Jun 24, 2012 by Chaya
	Wrote my A a letter (Preview) I have been working on a letter that I intend to give to my AH next week, a few days before I leave for Florida. In the letter I basically tell him that I'm tired of accepting the unacceptable, that I fear his driving decisions on the suspended license are detrimental to our family, and that I don't approv...	ilovedogs	20	696	Jun 23, 2012 by Bettina
	Was does detatchment look like for you? (Preview) Hello Everyone. This is my first post here. I'm glad to have found you all. I am struggling with detatching, especially with love. I understand the point of detatching in order to help myself, but I can't get over seeing it as a double edged sword. I love my AH when he is sober and I know he has a disease that...	goingbananas	18	805	Jun 23, 2012 by goingbananas
	back agin,keeping boundries (Preview) me and my ex a are back together agin,i know its the honey moom stages we are in,we been back for 1 week,we have talked a whole lots about everything,what got us back together was he texted me and asked me if i would follow him to a job close by so he could see my dog milo, then he started doing alot of talking et...	silent	5	653	Jun 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Another newbie (Preview) Hello everybody... I'm new here... and really new to the whole Al-Anon experience. Just a bit of background... I've been living with my BF who is for the most part a binge drinker. He is going through a nasty divorce and custody battle that you just wouldn't believe... I mean its a 'made-for-Lifetime...	Bug	8	519	Jun 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	When is it time to give up on your relationship with the alcoholic (Preview) Hi guys, I could really do with some advice. Having thought I'd at least managed step one in admitting that I am powerless over my AH's alcoholism I found myself making some really silly decisions. He has started displaying a lot of dry drunk behaviour again, he's stopped his AA meetings and has been...	sarah1979	10	903	Jun 23, 2012 by sarah1979
	Family Pattern (Preview) My Grandma was married to an alcoholic and divorced him after having a daughter (my mom). My mom was married to an alcoholic and divorced him after having a daughter (me). I married an alcoholic and do not have a daughter or any other children because his harsh life style has ruined his sperm. I am the th...	callmemara	6	587	Jun 23, 2012 by Tigger
	Obsessing What Is It? (Preview) You just start thinking and thinking about something over and over and over again, its maddening! So hard to shut your brain off. ! I hate it! If I was a saint I could just give it to my higher power and that would be the end of it. But it is easier said than done. Oldergal	oldergal	7	662	Jun 23, 2012 by hotrod
	what do you do when you don't know what to do? (Preview) Sitting at this lap-top that I am not used to is irritating me to no end! I am having a hard time typing--shoot! Anyhow, I am getting bored of going to the library these days. Not a whole lot is going on Facebook or my emails. I guess most people might be out enjoying the summer weather instead of staying in m...	Hoot Nanny	7	553	Jun 23, 2012 by Jerry F
	addicted to my husband (Preview) I'm such a mess all the time. I have gone to meetings on and off. We separated for a 10 months and I became very active in program I even completed the steps for the first time in 5 yrs. I was beginning to feel good in my own skin. We decided to get back together but then while we had been apart he confessed that h...	texasgal	10	614	Jun 23, 2012 by texasgal
	What to tell 5 year old grandson (Preview) My son, 32, is a drug addict. Two months ago he was arrested for shoplifting due to drugs. After all this time he finally admitted that he could not control it and he wanted help. He began seeing an addiction psychiatrist and was put on suboxone, but we became suspicious that he was using again and sure en...	arlene barefoot	6	517	Jun 23, 2012 by Debilyn
	Wow! (Preview) Like I said, AF is out on another binge. I haven't seen or heard from him since yesterday am. Today out of the blue I get a text from him that only says, "As___le" Really, me? I'm the A-word? This just proves how ridiculous this disease is. Seriously. It's actually almost a little comical. I d...	katfshh	7	524	Jun 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Why cant I stop abusing myself? (Preview) Ok, so I left the ABF. I think it was the right choice, and am certainly trying to move forward. I dont contact him, etc. It was a clumsy exit. I didnt ever say "we are done!", I just...stopped. I come here, I see my therapist, I go to al anon & coda, I try to take care of my physical body w/ yoga,...	CDK	9	698	Jun 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Finally doing better (Preview) If you make a decision, and that is followed immediately by months of crying and wishing you didn't have responsibilities so you could just kill yourself, you have probably made the wrong choice. It's taken me most of 2012 so far to figure it out, but I finally got the message, loud and clear: Abandonin...	atheos	5	443	Jun 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	BLAH!!! (Preview) Evening all, So my A G/f and I are doing better things have clamed down some and we both can see the big picture. But now I have ran in to a road block.... It started last week in our couples counseling. When she first joined AA and stopped drinking we both agreed that it would be best if I stopped drinking wi...	georgem	5	600	Jun 22, 2012 by pinkchip
	overreacting (Preview) In my recent self-discovery I have realized that one of my biggest character defects is to overreact to things. For the past two days (yes, one day at a time) I have been working very hard and being pretty successful at being calm and understanding and as accepting as possible when dealing with my AH. ...	imom	5	413	Jun 22, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	New and struggling with "God as we understood him" (Preview) I am new to Al-anon and wondering if it is really for me? I grew up in a home where religion was never discussed and has not been a part of my life. I want to be a part of Al-anon but this issue just makes me feel out of place. Any suggestions? Thanks!	jlm889	6	596	Jun 21, 2012 by atheos
	grandchildren-help (Preview) OK, so I already have custody of my AD 16 year old son, now her 4month old has been placed with us for the last month and I am struggling what to do. Of course we love our gd to pieces and she is an easy baby BUT we are in our 60's my husband has health issues, I have a full time job and we are exhausted. I know everyo...	tired of trying	5	495	Jun 22, 2012 by Diva
	In need of serenity today (Preview) This week managed to somehow get worse for me. My AH is battling a pattern of weekly relapses, and then we found out this week that his ex-wife is trying to stop a planned visitation we had with his daughter for next week. I don't know what to do. I've tried comforting him, myself, and am just devastated. W...	Findinghope	2	487	Jun 22, 2012 by orchidlover
	Broken promises - disappointment is the worst (Preview) I think it must have been a full moon. In April I kicked out my ABF of 5 yrs on the verge of a mental breakdown feeling my life force being sucked away I mustered up the courage and did it. Then..... a month later, several heartfelt promises, pleas to come back I let him back in. Just when I was starting to be...	IWannaFly	13	873	Jun 21, 2012 by Bettina
	double winner friend relapse (Preview) I just need to share this. It saddened me. Was walking down the street to grab some takeout. This drunk guy hit on me. I immediately recognised him from one of my al anon meetings. He grew up in an A home, also a member of AA, and is homeless. He didn't recognise me at all. I am so sorry he has apparently relaps...	Dolly Llama	3	398	Jun 21, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	I'm Back and here we go again... (Preview) I am determined this time to get off this ride. He was sober for 40 days. Everything here has been fine. We have been getting along well, he has been going to meetings and really making sure to get there even if he didn't feel like it. Last night, he said he was going to stay awake to watch a movie. I went downs...	katfshh	8	584	Jun 21, 2012 by katfshh
	Bittersweetness (Preview) Dear friends, By the grace of my higher power and of the program I am able to recognize that everything that happens in my life happens for me and not to me. Having that said, relationships and communication are areas of my life that need a lot of work. The only way to improve is practice, right? I've been &...	Abigail426	2	298	Jun 21, 2012 by orchidlover
	My HP has a sense of humor... (Preview) Tonight, I went to my 1st step work me	CDK	5	470	Jun 21, 2012 by Desirae
	Still discovering who I am and why? (Preview) I think I have come along way, at times i have been enraged by my husbands lack of care for me and inhability to read my mind and to show me love when I need it most, so I am trying to drop the BUT, the justification of if you would only do this I would do that, and it's becoming clear to me it's me thats got to do thi...	Katy	3	578	Jun 21, 2012 by glad lee
	Embracing & accepting God's plan for us... (Preview) My A wife is a stay at home mom and has been for the last 5 years, since our daughter was born (we also have a 3 year old son). She has expressed interest in getting back into the workforce a few times in the last couple of years, and just recently an opportunity working with a friend that seemed perfect sudde...	usedtobeanyer	8	715	Jun 21, 2012 by Jerry F
	ending this cycle (Preview) I am new to this website but not new to alanon, although it has been quite a few months since I have attended a meeting. How do I stop arguing with my AH about his drinking? He has cut way back but the fact that he is drinking again bothers me so much. Our marriage counselor asked him to stop drinking this w...	imom	10	634	Jun 21, 2012 by abbyal
	One Year Later - Need advice about moving on (Preview) Hello everyone. I decided to get back on here, close to a year after my final post about moving out and leaving my AH. My life has changed so much. I am now divorced from my AH, I live in a new city, have my own apartment, a decent job, a new boyfriend, a whole new life. I think I have wanted to believe that this m...	kay115	7	636	Jun 21, 2012 by karen412
	First time (Preview) Well, this is my first time on the message board and I am quite excited! I've been attending al-anon for just about 3 years but don't always find the time to go to a meeting. I no longer live with my alcoholic mother but still maintain a close relationship with her and keep a distance from her drinking. I am...	Abigail426	6	588	Jun 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	Manipulated or Manipulator... (Preview) Background: My father was an alcoholic until I was an early teen, I'm the oldest of 3, I'm on my 3rd marriage and my current husband is in rehab for his drinking problem... I just got off the phone with him and I just feel completely manipulated but I think I may have been manipulating the conversation som...	Amandakay	5	578	Jun 20, 2012 by pinkchip
	mother of adult alcoholic (Preview) How do I approach my daughter about her binge drinking?	E14	3	702	Jun 20, 2012 by canadianguy
	My first meeting in my new town (Preview) It was nice to have a couple woman my age. The second half of the meeting was lots of cross talk and nomal conversations back and forth with lots of interruptions, I asked if they considered it cross talking and I was met with defensiveness. Maybe I should have just flowed with it? I am from the same size sm...	Breakingfree	4	343	Jun 20, 2012 by Jackie11
	In love with a Man in Recovery! (Preview) Hi there, I am a 35 year old woman who has fallen in love with a 45 year old man. I am crazy about him. The way we met is amazing.. and he has traits that I have dreamed about in a man. I am not an addict, I can socially drink. However since we have been together, I will NOT drink in front of him. I respect and admire...	keeka8	17	675	Jun 20, 2012 by Diva
	Al-Anon Meeting Mobile App? (Preview) Does an Al-Anon meeting locator mobile app. exist? If not, it would be great to have one developed. Just a thought .	Green Eyes	0	341	Jun 20, 2012 by Green Eyes
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