Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kelseyg32792 · kelseyg32792

My boyfriend is my world. He is the one that I know God made for me. After we had been together for just over half a year is when I discovered that he was an alcoholic. Now about once a month he goes through a vicious cycle of leaving me.. Because he says that I am too good for him and I deserve better. He tells me...

Looking for peace · Looking for peace

My relapsed alcoholic husband finally ask me to call to get him into rehab again. This will be the second time. He started drinking about 4 months ago after being sober a year and is now To the point where he misses work and is passed out most of the time. What do I yell my 6 and 8 year old about where daddy...

AngieP · AngieP

I've been in a relationship for 28 months, living with a lifelong A. He & I seemed to click from the moment we met & our relationship progressed quickly. My ABF/ finance also suffers from mental issue, he is a cutter & often suicidal but those episodes were always fueled by alcohol. He is co...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I am upstairs right now, while my AH sits downstairs, drinking and watching TV. He came up to tell me something, and I had a Facebook game up on my computer screen. He said "oh, you're playing a game?" and I responded that yes, I had been looking at my mom's Facebook page. Then I started to cr...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I have read 4-5 recommended books and I find helpful interesting things that apply to me in each of them. My question however. Is when my husband comes home and starts drinking a couple beers. I'm not sure how to handle it. Or can I just ignore that behaviour. Going to another room or leaving causes huge...

imom · imom

Last night was a practice of letting go for me. After 7 hours of waiting for him to come home, he came in the house intoxicated (shocker!) I said hello to him and he started to get defensive immediately. He said, "Go ahead....yell at me." I did not respond. That is a huge step for me! He ke...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi everyone I'm learning a lot but I'm still sad. I can't seen to get myself together and get a life. I work, sleep, eat and go to meetings working my program but not much else. I didn't even want christmas around here but I decided to try something so I got a little tree I had out in storage and decoration...

twladybug · twladybug

I went to my first alanon meeting 2 nights ago and it felt great. At times I feel the recovering alocholic I live with sucks the life right out of me. I start the day in a great mood, feeling good. Then the constant sarcasm and unemotional conversations drain me. Why is it that nothing I do is right? Every qu...

nmike · nmike

This is not my best season but I am getting better thanks to our Alanon principles, literature, meetings, sponsors, and everyone's heartfelt experience, strength, and hope. Update on Nancy: I applied for a new job in a new state, interviewed in June, accepted the job in July, moved in August (after...

Jen · Jen

I had a minor upset with my Mom today. She has been trying to quit smoking for, I don't know, a few months, I guess. She goes through these fazes where she talks about it, but doesn't get very far. I have made many suggestions about resources that she could take advantage of to help herself, but she hasn't l...

Overcome · Overcome

After reading "cinders" post yesterday on Struggling with attempting to have no contact, I have done a lot of introspection on my own life and why it has been so hard for me to not answer my ex's phone calls, emails, and other attempts to contact me in the past. A little background on me firs...

jules · jules

New to this, and there is no one I can ask. I am a 50 year old professional who defined myself as a Mom. My husband and I have been raising 2 kids, 14 yr old Daughter and 15 year old son, in a wonderful neighborhood and a beautiful home. This summer our life tilted on its axis, and our kids became unrecogni...

oldbeforemytime · oldbeforemytime

I am new to this, I have an alcoholic father and it is passed down through generations. How does one deal with verbal abuse, emotional manipulation and the fact that they don't see it as a problem? I am really at the end of my rope, do I cut all ties, do I hand him over to authorities, do I keep my relationshi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I experienced something that I have never experienced before in my life last night. I sat in our local courthouse & listened to over 350 names read that have passed away over the years in my community. One special thing happened that I will cherish the rest of my life. My dad never lived up here but th...

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

I am holding my breath, I have not reacted but I am really wanting some ES&H, experience strength and hope.... My 17 year old son wanted to buy his girlfriend a watch for Christmas. I thought ok $75 tops, he wanted to buy her a Coach watch. This is his first girlfriend and they have been dating a year, f...

imom · imom

I just want to thank all of you for sharing your posts. I am reading them for comfort and reassurance as I wait for my AH to come home. He went to visit his dad, with whom he always drinks. I know he is going to come home at the very least with a buzz. I am anxious and I keep telling myself to live and let go. ...

elizabeth · elizabeth

DO’S AND DON’TS DO’S Forgive Be honest with yourself Be humble Take it easy – tension is harmful Play – find recreation and hobbies Keep on trying whenever you fail Learn the facts about alcoholism Attend Al-Anon meetings often Pray DON’TS &nb...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have one thing to say--I am content & have some serenity in my life. I hope others can say that too. Kathleen

hotrod · hotrod

IN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUALSTEP 5 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD "Admitted to God, to Myself and Another Human Being the Exact Nature of My Wrongs" Please join us and share your thoughts.. This way we all grow Simply Clic...

davie · davie

Hi all, Its been a 2 and a half months since me and my AW have been seperated. she still tries to get in contact and control my emotions. for e.g last weekend my AW managed to get a hold of me by saying to my brother in law that my dog was about to get put down, i had to call so i did. anyways the conversation quickl...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

"Please don't wear perfume. Some of our members have chemical sensitivities." I think that's how it's said. Why is this? I never heard this at an AA meeting. Is chemical sensitivity psychosomatic? Real? Why do people n Alanon or recovery have it?

debhud · debhud

my A son recently lost everything due to his alcoholism. his wife, his kids and now his great job. (he went to a meeting at work intoxicated) he continues to drink excessively. i am finding excuses not to spend time with him. i am just so angry at him and this ugly disease. he has tools to use to help h...

abbyalana · abbyalana

I am starting to force the XAH to pick up our child when I am home from work - after 5 to assure she has a sober ride from him. He is now asking why I am making him wait until 5? What should I say? or Do I not respond as he frequently does to me? The local police department told me to do this so I can see whether he's...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I have shared I am on a nice journey with a cool guy.We are best friends and will meet in a few months. Been friends over 10 years. I am having to leave my cabin. My income just cannot do it, and take care of me. I need some dental stuff done, glasses, cloths. So back to my 5 acres. The loan I have on my place is suc...

Thumbelina · Thumbelina

Hi everybody. This is my first time on this site and i am pleased in a way. I have been married for 12y and have 2 children with my husband. I only today actually tried to find how much is too much to drink. and discovered that its 1,5 pint a day or 14 (units a wek, or just about 9,5 pints a week. if i got it rig...

cinders · cinders

My AH called last night to ask me about divorce papers. He is upset with me because I refuse to let him know where I live. He wants to come by with divorce papers so that they can be signed immediately and submitted. I guess sending me them by mail to a family member takes too long. I stood my ground and w...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I'm in the middle of a very contentious divorce with my AH of 30 years. I suggested that we meet this past weekend to try to settle things on our own, one on one, without the courts having to settle our issues for us. Good thing I had my Al-Anon program tools with me when I met with him. He is still in full denia...

rellik · rellik

We have allways gone to my sisters house for Christmas Eve. The family hires a santa and the kids just love it. My side of the family allways drinks during this time. My wife has chose not to come this year. She told me she cannot be around alcohol yet. So she will be at her grandparents house with her family...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

The best I've ever read on the subject of detachment (with love). Letting Go" * To "let go" does not mean to stop caring; it means I can't do it for someone else. * To "let go" is not to cut myself off; it's the realization I can't control another. * To "let go" is not...

John · John

Each year we try to bring some strong holiday cheer in the MIP recovery homes with holiday decor and cards that can change the spirit of unforgotteness, aloniness, sorrows... Into a time of building new members and embracing a new way of life. To do this we ask ALL Memebers of Miracles in Process to part...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I started moving things into my own apartment this week. I will be out of my mom and dad's by the end of the year. Just going to be me and my doggies. I alternate between excited, sad and angry. Definitely not where I thought I would be at this stage in my life.

el-cee · el-cee

I have been sick for years. I form codependant relationships and enable. First my a ex and then my prob drinker son who is 19. The trouble is since finding alanon I have been detaching, he does nothing for himself and regularly behaves aggressively towards me and a couple of times to my younger boy who is...

cdrew422 · cdrew422

Hi, I'm new here. I haven't attended an alanon meeting yet, I am having problems figuring out what to do with my kids, but I need something- I need to talk to others that know. My husband is an alcoholic, he recently lost his job due to it, but then made a "commitment" to stop- well stop drinkin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am resolved that there will be resolution to my health problems. I am just grateful that I am feeling better & that I hope to continue to enjoy another holiday season. Not much more to say except that my AH are getting along better & that is mostly due to another revelation of mine that I have bee...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I'm deeply grateful to both of my programs emphasis on Al-Anon. I can only exist serenely in today and that is time enough to deal with and live with what is present before me...lots of stuff...great, good, pleasant, curious, somewhat anxious, worrisome, frightening and terrorizing. Most of wh...

Rosieee · Rosieee

When I reconnected with my teenage sweetheart, I thought the fact that he was in AA was refreshing after being with an active alcoholic (in denial) for 25 years. He's very enlightened and spiritual, and it seemed like our lives mirrored each others in so many ways. So, I moved in with him...with my tw...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I have shared the ex A's disease took everything. I thought it was over. Its gotten where I cannot even afford to live up here in my cabin. I gotta go try to fix up a part of my place on the 5 acres to be liveable. Bring my horse Elgin home. It is still where the mortgage co. commited fraud so there it sits, still...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I just wana scream !!!!!!

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

I love my husband so very much. I know that I post all the terrible things that come with his alcohlism, but he can be a really great man. He cooks wonderful dinners almost every night and anything I want (materially) I get. He goes on and on about how beautiful I am and I know he really does love me. I lo...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I have been up since 1am praying to God and thanking him for what he has done for me in the last few weeks. He has taught me many lessons with the help of all my good friends here and in my face to face meetings. He has also brought Jon into my life to help with my son. Tonight my son went to AA. He already got a s...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Only 5 days into No Contact i don't feel right. It's like I've slipped and am self will run riot out there. I don't feel I'm doing what God wants me to do. I can give you all kinds of sad stories about the way I've been treated by my family. it sucks, yes. Do I want a different family? I don't know. I got the best o...

karren26 · karren26

Day three of him not talking to me after the insane random blow up Sunday night. He did come home last night with a six pack and went into the basement, heard him on the phone. 7:30 came up and got in his car and left. Went to a co workers. He never does this. Came in at 11:30 then called into work this morning an...

imom · imom

Why is it that every time I see him under the influence, I feel the need to point it out to him. Of course he only denies it and then we end up in a fight. I know there's no reason for me to point it out, I guess I just really want him to know that he's not getting away with anything...that I know. I realize it's...

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

Is anyone else having trouble?

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning I'm happy to say I'm learning every day to take care of me and not enage my son. Yesterday he called me in a panic that he lost his keys at a work site he was doing a odd job picking up trash for my AA friend. He also had a homeless man there that he gave a few cents to because he won't leave my son al...

Minaret · Minaret

I really need help in the area of detactment...I seem to do well for a while, but then my AH starts bugging me and I fall into the trap of "reacting" to him again. Last night he was angry and yelling at the kids, and what makes him angrier is when I correct him in front of the kids which I often do, b...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I don't know where to begin with this really. I've always suspected this woman I work with is passive aggressive. There have just been too many instances at this point to think anything else. Today, I decided to lead with doing the right thing and thank her for a sympathy card she had put on my desk whil...

karren26 · karren26

I think I put this as my own statement in a post yesterday, but I am sitting here wondering if he feels threatened because I have not been drinking with him and more and more time is going by. Does it make him feel like I am judging him or he has failed. He has been making digs that I think I am better than other...

cinders · cinders

With all the abusive blaming and other things that have gone on in my 10 years with my husband, you would think that I would be glad to have some distance, but I can't seem to keep from wanting to talk to him and try to understand what is going on. I had to email my soon to be ex and ask him to send paperwork relea...

bridgetp · bridgetp

I have to pick up my husband from the airport for his three weeks of holiday. I live in DUrban and he works in Nigeria and I discovered the last time he was home that he's been drinking and whoring all this time while I've been in total ignorance. Once I discovered what was g oing on his behaviour patterns...

callmemara · callmemara

In order to cheer me up, let's each list a FUNNY thing that our A does when they are in their A-zone. Mine takes bites of whole raw onions. That's right, I find whole onions with bites taken out of them in the fridge.

bmom · bmom

Hello, I'm bmom, which stands for the first letter of my AS's name and me being his mom. This is my first post and honestly, I'm so broken right now that words fail me...but I know they will come and I will share more. My AS is 28 years-old and says he is going to an AA meeting this Wednesday. I say, "I...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

So, I'm up late stressing out. There is an empty bottle of Captain Morgan's on the counter and another one thats just over half full. They are the big ones, 1.75 liters. They go through about 4 of those a week. This is really hard for me to just admit that there may be an issue here. It would be so much easier t...

karren26 · karren26

Husband has been drinking heavy almost every night for a couple weeks with maybe a two day break in there. He did something stupid in front of twenty year old daughter and her boyfriend last night, I was not in the room. He embarrassed them. He is on Prozac so he gets drunk fast. He twists things around t...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I set boundaries about 4 days ago with parents after more abusive emails. I have not returned emails. I feel it wounds my spirit to be treated like that by anyone and my entire family has had no respect for me for years. All the family dysfunction was put on my shoulders when I was 12 so others wouldn't have...

abbyalana · abbyalana

I had two more adults in town pull me aside, concerned about my daughter, and telling me about my ex's new alcohlic/drug addict girlfriend that I know "nothing" (wink, wink) about and my daughter is nothing but pissed off about (she told me about the GF weeks ago, the ex and I do NOT talk at all...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Here is my dilemma... My work schedule tends to be a little hectic sometimes. I have managed to go to 2 different group's meetings in my area. Both meetings had about 10 people there and I was the ONLY guy there. I didn't really feel like I could relate to anyone there. Maybe this was in part because th...

rellik · rellik

I don't know how else to say this other than it's working! Last Wednesday night she had her work Christmas party. They were drinking at her table and she couldn't take it. SHe didn't drink during the dinner, but she didn't make it home either. (27th day of sobriety) She stopped at three gas stations and...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Many of you know I have been looking for permanent employment for over a year. I had a long-term temporary job, but that ended about 6 weeks ago. The job market where I live is not good. Next Tuesday I will be interviewing for a government job. The salary is enough, the benefits would be good, and I thin...

rehprof · rehprof

So, this morning we have a snow day...I went out to my 16YO's room and it was 80 degrees...I asked him to turn the temp down...he then proceeded to tell me it was NOT hot in there...and I said...come on, hon, the pellets cost money..I've bought $60 in the last couple of weeks. He says "well Dad GAVE yo...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Alcoholic boyfriend help please (Preview) My boyfriend is my world. He is the one that I know God made for me. After we had been together for just over half a year is when I discovered that he was an alcoholic. Now about once a month he goes through a vicious cycle of leaving me.. Because he says that I am too good for him and I deserve better. He tells me...	kelseyg32792	10	10349	Dec 18, 2012 by hotrod
	What do I tell my kids (Preview) My relapsed alcoholic husband finally ask me to call to get him into rehab again. This will be the second time. He started drinking about 4 months ago after being sober a year and is now To the point where he misses work and is passed out most of the time. What do I yell my 6 and 8 year old about where daddy...	Looking for peace	6	538	Dec 17, 2012 by pinkchip
	Newbie... In pain & confusion (Preview) I've been in a relationship for 28 months, living with a lifelong A. He & I seemed to click from the moment we met & our relationship progressed quickly. My ABF/ finance also suffers from mental issue, he is a cutter & often suicidal but those episodes were always fueled by alcohol. He is co...	AngieP	4	543	Dec 17, 2012 by pinkchip
	You have got to be kidding me (Preview) I am upstairs right now, while my AH sits downstairs, drinking and watching TV. He came up to tell me something, and I had a Facebook game up on my computer screen. He said "oh, you're playing a game?" and I responded that yes, I had been looking at my mom's Facebook page. Then I started to cr...	stephaniej	2	413	Dec 17, 2012 by Zimmy
	Question from experience please (Preview) I have read 4-5 recommended books and I find helpful interesting things that apply to me in each of them. My question however. Is when my husband comes home and starts drinking a couple beers. I'm not sure how to handle it. Or can I just ignore that behaviour. Going to another room or leaving causes huge...	sweeetr	5	561	Dec 17, 2012 by kaybee
	I did it! (Preview) Last night was a practice of letting go for me. After 7 hours of waiting for him to come home, he came in the house intoxicated (shocker!) I said hello to him and he started to get defensive immediately. He said, "Go ahead....yell at me." I did not respond. That is a huge step for me! He ke...	imom	6	494	Dec 17, 2012 by nmike
	It's raining and I'm sad (Preview) Hi everyone I'm learning a lot but I'm still sad. I can't seen to get myself together and get a life. I work, sleep, eat and go to meetings working my program but not much else. I didn't even want christmas around here but I decided to try something so I got a little tree I had out in storage and decoration...	Cathyinaz	10	746	Dec 17, 2012 by nmike
	living with recovering A (Preview) I went to my first alanon meeting 2 nights ago and it felt great. At times I feel the recovering alocholic I live with sucks the life right out of me. I start the day in a great mood, feeling good. Then the constant sarcasm and unemotional conversations drain me. Why is it that nothing I do is right? Every qu...	twladybug	4	613	Dec 17, 2012 by nmike
	Best to you all (Preview) This is not my best season but I am getting better thanks to our Alanon principles, literature, meetings, sponsors, and everyone's heartfelt experience, strength, and hope. Update on Nancy: I applied for a new job in a new state, interviewed in June, accepted the job in July, moved in August (after...	nmike	4	423	Dec 17, 2012 by Jerry F
	My Mom cigarettes smoking (Preview) I had a minor upset with my Mom today. She has been trying to quit smoking for, I don't know, a few months, I guess. She goes through these fazes where she talks about it, but doesn't get very far. I have made many suggestions about resources that she could take advantage of to help herself, but she hasn't l...	Jen	4	637	Dec 16, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Trying to live up to an Ideal (Preview) After reading "cinders" post yesterday on Struggling with attempting to have no contact, I have done a lot of introspection on my own life and why it has been so hard for me to not answer my ex's phone calls, emails, and other attempts to contact me in the past. A little background on me firs...	Overcome	8	577	Dec 16, 2012 by Overcome
	Do I belong here? (Preview) New to this, and there is no one I can ask. I am a 50 year old professional who defined myself as a Mom. My husband and I have been raising 2 kids, 14 yr old Daughter and 15 year old son, in a wonderful neighborhood and a beautiful home. This summer our life tilted on its axis, and our kids became unrecogni...	jules	6	543	Dec 16, 2012 by Desirae
	My father... (Preview) I am new to this, I have an alcoholic father and it is passed down through generations. How does one deal with verbal abuse, emotional manipulation and the fact that they don't see it as a problem? I am really at the end of my rope, do I cut all ties, do I hand him over to authorities, do I keep my relationshi...	oldbeforemytime	4	423	Dec 16, 2012 by Tarase
	Tree of memories & me! (Preview) I experienced something that I have never experienced before in my life last night. I sat in our local courthouse & listened to over 350 names read that have passed away over the years in my community. One special thing happened that I will cherish the rest of my life. My dad never lived up here but th...	Hoot Nanny	1	385	Dec 16, 2012 by Jen
	Having a hard time breathing - am I over reacting? (Preview) I am holding my breath, I have not reacted but I am really wanting some ES&H, experience strength and hope.... My 17 year old son wanted to buy his girlfriend a watch for Christmas. I thought ok $75 tops, he wanted to buy her a Coach watch. This is his first girlfriend and they have been dating a year, f...	RobinKSC	3	457	Dec 16, 2012 by Jen
	thankful (Preview) I just want to thank all of you for sharing your posts. I am reading them for comfort and reassurance as I wait for my AH to come home. He went to visit his dad, with whom he always drinks. I know he is going to come home at the very least with a buzz. I am anxious and I keep telling myself to live and let go. ...	imom	3	405	Dec 16, 2012 by Jerry F
	The DO's and DON'Ts of Al-anon (Preview) DO’S AND DON’TS DO’S Forgive Be honest with yourself Be humble Take it easy – tension is harmful Play – find recreation and hobbies Keep on trying whenever you fail Learn the facts about alcoholism Attend Al-Anon meetings often Pray DON’TS &nb...	elizabeth	4	943	Dec 16, 2012 by cla
	one thing to say! (Preview) *I have one thing to say--I am content & have some serenity in my life. I hope others can say that too.* *Kathleen*	Hoot Nanny	3	351	Dec 16, 2012 by kaybee
	Step 5 Step Work Board (Preview) *IN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR* GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUALSTEP 5 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD "Admitted to God, to Myself and Another Human Being the Exact Nature of My Wrongs" Please join us and share your thoughts.. This way we all grow Simply Clic...	hotrod	0	405	Dec 15, 2012 by hotrod
	Detatchment (Preview) Hi all, Its been a 2 and a half months since me and my AW have been seperated. she still tries to get in contact and control my emotions. for e.g last weekend my AW managed to get a hold of me by saying to my brother in law that my dog was about to get put down, i had to call so i did. anyways the conversation quickl...	davie	3	368	Dec 16, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	Why do some Alanon meetings say... (Preview) "Please don't wear perfume. Some of our members have chemical sensitivities." I think that's how it's said. Why is this? I never heard this at an AA meeting. Is chemical sensitivity psychosomatic? Real? Why do people n Alanon or recovery have it?	WorkingThroughIt	11	739	Dec 15, 2012 by RobinKSC
	feel guilty because i am avoiding A son (Preview) my A son recently lost everything due to his alcoholism. his wife, his kids and now his great job. (he went to a meeting at work intoxicated) he continues to drink excessively. i am finding excuses not to spend time with him. i am just so angry at him and this ugly disease. he has tools to use to help h...	debhud	7	638	Dec 15, 2012 by tired of trying
	Help! Starting to push back on drinking and driving with our child (Preview) I am starting to force the XAH to pick up our child when I am home from work - after 5 to assure she has a sober ride from him. He is now asking why I am making him wait until 5? What should I say? or Do I not respond as he frequently does to me? The local police department told me to do this so I can see whether he's...	abbyalana	3	524	Dec 15, 2012 by Jerry F
	what does this mean? (Preview) I have shared I am on a nice journey with a cool guy.We are best friends and will meet in a few months. Been friends over 10 years. I am having to leave my cabin. My income just cannot do it, and take care of me. I need some dental stuff done, glasses, cloths. So back to my 5 acres. The loan I have on my place is suc...	Debilyn	1	493	Dec 15, 2012 by Mattie
	New here. My husband has drinking problem. Drinking problem husband (Preview) Hi everybody. This is my first time on this site and i am pleased in a way. I have been married for 12y and have 2 children with my husband. I only today actually tried to find how much is too much to drink. and discovered that its 1,5 pint a day or 14 (units a wek, or just about 9,5 pints a week. if i got it rig...	Thumbelina	4	6882	Dec 15, 2012 by hotrod
	Letting go - Finally!! (Preview) My AH called last night to ask me about divorce papers. He is upset with me because I refuse to let him know where I live. He wants to come by with divorce papers so that they can be signed immediately and submitted. I guess sending me them by mail to a family member takes too long. I stood my ground and w...	cinders	5	622	Dec 15, 2012 by orchidlover
	Divorce Settlement Issues (Preview) I'm in the middle of a very contentious divorce with my AH of 30 years. I suggested that we meet this past weekend to try to settle things on our own, one on one, without the courts having to settle our issues for us. Good thing I had my Al-Anon program tools with me when I met with him. He is still in full denia...	Green Eyes	8	731	Dec 15, 2012 by bud
	Christmas Eve apart for the first time in 13yrs (Preview) We have allways gone to my sisters house for Christmas Eve. The family hires a santa and the kids just love it. My side of the family allways drinks during this time. My wife has chose not to come this year. She told me she cannot be around alcohol yet. So she will be at her grandparents house with her family...	rellik	10	499	Dec 15, 2012 by hotrod
	Detachment ( with love ) (Preview) The best I've ever read on the subject of detachment (with love). Letting Go" * To "let go" does not mean to stop caring; it means I can't do it for someone else. * To "let go" is not to cut myself off; it's the realization I can't control another. * To "let go" is not...	Cathyinaz	7	723	Dec 14, 2012 by sweeetr
	holiday card request for MIP house residents (Preview) Each year we try to bring some strong holiday cheer in the MIP recovery homes with holiday decor and cards that can change the spirit of unforgotteness, aloniness, sorrows... Into a time of building new members and embracing a new way of life. To do this we ask ALL Memebers of Miracles in Process to part...	John	0	406	Dec 14, 2012 by John
	The Next Right Thing (Preview) I started moving things into my own apartment this week. I will be out of my mom and dad's by the end of the year. Just going to be me and my doggies. I alternate between excited, sad and angry. Definitely not where I thought I would be at this stage in my life.	WornOutMrsFixIt	2	440	Dec 14, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	sick of being sick (Preview) I have been sick for years. I form codependant relationships and enable. First my a ex and then my prob drinker son who is 19. The trouble is since finding alanon I have been detaching, he does nothing for himself and regularly behaves aggressively towards me and a couple of times to my younger boy who is...	el-cee	2	478	Dec 14, 2012 by Zimmy
	I'm new here... (Preview) Hi, I'm new here. I haven't attended an alanon meeting yet, I am having problems figuring out what to do with my kids, but I need something- I need to talk to others that know. My husband is an alcoholic, he recently lost his job due to it, but then made a "commitment" to stop- well stop drinkin...	cdrew422	3	490	Dec 14, 2012 by Zimmy
	resolve & resolution (Preview) I am resolved that there will be resolution to my health problems. I am just grateful that I am feeling better & that I hope to continue to enjoy another holiday season. Not much more to say except that my AH are getting along better & that is mostly due to another revelation of mine that I have bee...	Hoot Nanny	3	379	Dec 14, 2012 by Jen
	Facing the unknown and the expected... (Preview) I'm deeply grateful to both of my programs emphasis on Al-Anon. I can only exist serenely in today and that is time enough to deal with and live with what is present before me...lots of stuff...great, good, pleasant, curious, somewhat anxious, worrisome, frightening and terrorizing. Most of wh...	Jerry F	6	679	Dec 14, 2012 by Debilyn
	Looking for any help - newbie with recovering alcoholic (Preview) When I reconnected with my teenage sweetheart, I thought the fact that he was in AA was refreshing after being with an active alcoholic (in denial) for 25 years. He's very enlightened and spiritual, and it seemed like our lives mirrored each others in so many ways. So, I moved in with him...with my tw...	Rosieee	6	513	Dec 14, 2012 by Rosieee
	Losses keep coming (Preview) I have shared the ex A's disease took everything. I thought it was over. Its gotten where I cannot even afford to live up here in my cabin. I gotta go try to fix up a part of my place on the 5 acres to be liveable. Bring my horse Elgin home. It is still where the mortgage co. commited fraud so there it sits, still...	Debilyn	8	622	Dec 14, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Losing it (Preview) I just wana scream !!!!!!	sweeetr	3	392	Dec 14, 2012 by Pushka
	Really? Is this the life I am meant to lead? (Preview) I love my husband so very much. I know that I post all the terrible things that come with his alcohlism, but he can be a really great man. He cooks wonderful dinners almost every night and anything I want (materially) I get. He goes on and on about how beautiful I am and I know he really does love me. I lo...	almostgivenup	12	738	Dec 14, 2012 by Lyne
	My HP at work (Preview) I have been up since 1am praying to God and thanking him for what he has done for me in the last few weeks. He has taught me many lessons with the help of all my good friends here and in my face to face meetings. He has also brought Jon into my life to help with my son. Tonight my son went to AA. He already got a s...	Cathyinaz	6	475	Dec 13, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Update on No Contact (Preview) Only 5 days into No Contact i don't feel right. It's like I've slipped and am self will run riot out there. I don't feel I'm doing what God wants me to do. I can give you all kinds of sad stories about the way I've been treated by my family. it sucks, yes. Do I want a different family? I don't know. I got the best o...	WorkingThroughIt	9	889	Dec 13, 2012 by pinkchip
	When I leave it will be a shelter (Preview) Day three of him not talking to me after the insane random blow up Sunday night. He did come home last night with a six pack and went into the basement, heard him on the phone. 7:30 came up and got in his car and left. Went to a co workers. He never does this. Came in at 11:30 then called into work this morning an...	karren26	4	566	Dec 13, 2012 by karren26
	i can't stop (Preview) Why is it that every time I see him under the influence, I feel the need to point it out to him. Of course he only denies it and then we end up in a fight. I know there's no reason for me to point it out, I guess I just really want him to know that he's not getting away with anything...that I know. I realize it's...	imom	14	720	Dec 13, 2012 by imom
	having trouble getting into the chat room (Preview) Is anyone else having trouble?	RobinKSC	2	358	Dec 13, 2012 by wp
	Used a Tool yesterday (Preview) Good Morning I'm happy to say I'm learning every day to take care of me and not enage my son. Yesterday he called me in a panic that he lost his keys at a work site he was doing a odd job picking up trash for my AA friend. He also had a homeless man there that he gave a few cents to because he won't leave my son al...	Cathyinaz	2	426	Dec 12, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Examples of Loving Detachment? (Preview) I really need help in the area of detactment...I seem to do well for a while, but then my AH starts bugging me and I fall into the trap of "reacting" to him again. Last night he was angry and yelling at the kids, and what makes him angrier is when I correct him in front of the kids which I often do, b...	Minaret	13	6362	Dec 12, 2012 by Zimmy
	I Left Her Words Where They Belonged, with Her (Preview) I don't know where to begin with this really. I've always suspected this woman I work with is passive aggressive. There have just been too many instances at this point to think anything else. Today, I decided to lead with doing the right thing and thank her for a sympathy card she had put on my desk whil...	tiredtonite	11	589	Dec 12, 2012 by RobinKSC
	Is it because I no longer drink with him? (Preview) I think I put this as my own statement in a post yesterday, but I am sitting here wondering if he feels threatened because I have not been drinking with him and more and more time is going by. Does it make him feel like I am judging him or he has failed. He has been making digs that I think I am better than other...	karren26	7	609	Dec 12, 2012 by karren26
	Struggling with attempting to have no contact (Preview) With all the abusive blaming and other things that have gone on in my 10 years with my husband, you would think that I would be glad to have some distance, but I can't seem to keep from wanting to talk to him and try to understand what is going on. I had to email my soon to be ex and ask him to send paperwork relea...	cinders	14	947	Dec 12, 2012 by pinkchip
	coping with him coming home (Preview) I have to pick up my husband from the airport for his three weeks of holiday. I live in DUrban and he works in Nigeria and I discovered the last time he was home that he's been drinking and whoring all this time while I've been in total ignorance. Once I discovered what was g oing on his behaviour patterns...	bridgetp	4	414	Dec 12, 2012 by bridgetp
	Something funny (Preview) In order to cheer me up, let's each list a FUNNY thing that our A does when they are in their A-zone. Mine takes bites of whole raw onions. That's right, I find whole onions with bites taken out of them in the fridge.	callmemara	6	588	Dec 12, 2012 by rehprof
	Does a mother's heart every stop breaking? (Preview) Hello, I'm bmom, which stands for the first letter of my AS's name and me being his mom. This is my first post and honestly, I'm so broken right now that words fail me...but I know they will come and I will share more. My AS is 28 years-old and says he is going to an AA meeting this Wednesday. I say, "I...	bmom	8	583	Dec 12, 2012 by bmom
	Up late stressing (Preview) So, I'm up late stressing out. There is an empty bottle of Captain Morgan's on the counter and another one thats just over half full. They are the big ones, 1.75 liters. They go through about 4 of those a week. This is really hard for me to just admit that there may be an issue here. It would be so much easier t...	StargazerLily	2	383	Dec 12, 2012 by bud
	After 21 years REALLY confronted him (Preview) Husband has been drinking heavy almost every night for a couple weeks with maybe a two day break in there. He did something stupid in front of twenty year old daughter and her boyfriend last night, I was not in the room. He embarrassed them. He is on Prozac so he gets drunk fast. He twists things around t...	karren26	15	667	Dec 12, 2012 by karren26
	Stand up or tolerate? (Preview) I set boundaries about 4 days ago with parents after more abusive emails. I have not returned emails. I feel it wounds my spirit to be treated like that by anyone and my entire family has had no respect for me for years. All the family dysfunction was put on my shoulders when I was 12 so others wouldn't have...	WorkingThroughIt	6	585	Dec 11, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	I am really trying to not be crazed but feeling that way anyways (Preview) I had two more adults in town pull me aside, concerned about my daughter, and telling me about my ex's new alcohlic/drug addict girlfriend that I know "nothing" (wink, wink) about and my daughter is nothing but pissed off about (she told me about the GF weeks ago, the ex and I do NOT talk at all...	abbyalana	5	543	Dec 11, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Online meetings as opposed to Face to Face? (Preview) Here is my dilemma... My work schedule tends to be a little hectic sometimes. I have managed to go to 2 different group's meetings in my area. Both meetings had about 10 people there and I was the ONLY guy there. I didn't really feel like I could relate to anyone there. Maybe this was in part because th...	hdftby100	3	604	Dec 11, 2012 by Breakingfree
	It's working!!!!! (Preview) I don't know how else to say this other than it's working! Last Wednesday night she had her work Christmas party. They were drinking at her table and she couldn't take it. SHe didn't drink during the dinner, but she didn't make it home either. (27th day of sobriety) She stopped at three gas stations and...	rellik	6	480	Dec 11, 2012 by Desirae
	I have a job interview (Preview) Many of you know I have been looking for permanent employment for over a year. I had a long-term temporary job, but that ended about 6 weeks ago. The job market where I live is not good. Next Tuesday I will be interviewing for a government job. The salary is enough, the benefits would be good, and I thin...	stephaniej	5	437	Dec 11, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Pellet Stove VENT! (Preview) So, this morning we have a snow day...I went out to my 16YO's room and it was 80 degrees...I asked him to turn the temp down...he then proceeded to tell me it was NOT hot in there...and I said...come on, hon, the pellets cost money..I've bought $60 in the last couple of weeks. He says "well Dad GAVE yo...	rehprof	5	560	Dec 11, 2012 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.