Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sweeetr · sweeetr

My AH is a high functioning alcoholic. He shouldve hit rock bottom when his EXAGF overdosed and he found her. She was the worse of the two of their addictive lives. So it was easier to distract ppl from how sick he was also. He now holds a very good job, but alcohol (and when he "quits drinking"...

invinciblesummer · invinciblesummer

Hello everyone. I'm having a difficult time making a decision and was wondering if anyone could share any similar experiences. My father is a very unpredictable alcoholic. Growing up he would drink and wrestle my mom in front of my sister and me, when we were teenagers he would push her and pin her unti...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

It breaks my heart to have to go to court to prevent my STBXH from getting spousal support from me. After 30 years of marriage, we have to allow strangers (my lawyer and the judge- my AH currently has no one representing him) to make decisions about our finances. My STBXH looked horrible in court today. H...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I have been in Al-Anon for a little over 9 years. When asked how do I help my child I have always shared what (I thought) worked for me. Things like I shut down the Bank of Mom I stopped rescuing giving him the dignity to grow up. etc All of this made good common sense until July 13, 2012. That is the date I w...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

I have been on here for months, gone to 2 Al Anon meetings and thought I was "getting it". I wasn't. The words were there and I was hearing them and knew them, but not completely. Had another breakdown in front of the wife last night. I don't consider it a failure or lost cause. The whole ti...

Andrea91 · Andrea91

Im new at this... Over the past couple of years, doctors and nurses in emergency rooms have taken me aside and handed me Al Anon family group flyers. They begged me to go, to talk, to listen. In truth, the thought of talking about my alcoholic dad was very frightening. My dad has been an alcoholic for near...

tortuga · tortuga

...because that's what alcoholics do. 4 months 'dry'...without the guidance of a program, an emotional rollercoaster for him, and all the people he's in contact with. Including me. I have been reading and coming back , not much posting lately, because there is not always the need to analyze it all, I...

RR67 · RR67

Hi I can't make a meeting would some one care to talk to me private

Jozie · Jozie

It Truly has been a Tough last 10days... I know this time of Year brings out the More "Crazy's" then we are use to on a regular basis, at least it seems true for me! Last week putting our young friend to rest was Tough! And to know that Addiction WON again, is Heart Breaking... However, His Pain i...

rellik · rellik

I went ot a family counselor the other day. The first thing she wanted to talk about was my understanding of alcoholism and if I had any questions about it. Hell yeah! Why, with the alcohol in my family and the abuse I went through as a child am I able to drink then stop when I want to and not drink for months ti...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Well all the calling has stopped so I'm guessing he's drinking again. But here I go...thinking way to much about it. I'm just writing this to keep myself honest and to stay on my side of the street. It's like I have to answer to someone ( MIP )..... It's also helps me to THINK !!! about what I'm doin...

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

I have noticed lately that my husband looks like he is 8 to 10 months pregnant. Now, I am not a doctor, but I am pretty sure it is because his liver is enlarged. He is drinking at least 1/2 a case of beer every night and when it isn't a work night, he drinks even more. I frantically called his mother this mor...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I was so proud of the way I handled things! I sat down and told my AH: He has started breakin boundaries I have set. I see personality traits developing in our son that are not healthy(I gave examples And how they mimmicted my AH behaviors) 1-I said there will be no alcohol or drinking at this house. My son...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I haven't been working my program at all for the last 3 weeks. I've totally slacked off. The flu, a bronchial infection before that, and then a new puppy have thrown my schedule for a loop. Oh, and throw in the holidays and I'm beside myself. AH and I have been going to marriage counseling weekly. Thi...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Ok, so last night the wife and I went to a Christmas party. We were invited by a friend of mine and there were a few people from my workout class there that I knew. The wife knew really no one. She had met the invitee twice before (who is a woman, not that it really matters). The wife originally really did...

kelseyg32792 · kelseyg32792

My boyfriend is my world. He is the one that I know God made for me. After we had been together for just over half a year is when I discovered that he was an alcoholic. Now about once a month he goes through a vicious cycle of leaving me.. Because he says that I am too good for him and I deserve better. He tells me...

Looking for peace · Looking for peace

My relapsed alcoholic husband finally ask me to call to get him into rehab again. This will be the second time. He started drinking about 4 months ago after being sober a year and is now To the point where he misses work and is passed out most of the time. What do I yell my 6 and 8 year old about where daddy...

AngieP · AngieP

I've been in a relationship for 28 months, living with a lifelong A. He & I seemed to click from the moment we met & our relationship progressed quickly. My ABF/ finance also suffers from mental issue, he is a cutter & often suicidal but those episodes were always fueled by alcohol. He is co...

stephaniej · stephaniej

I am upstairs right now, while my AH sits downstairs, drinking and watching TV. He came up to tell me something, and I had a Facebook game up on my computer screen. He said "oh, you're playing a game?" and I responded that yes, I had been looking at my mom's Facebook page. Then I started to cr...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I have read 4-5 recommended books and I find helpful interesting things that apply to me in each of them. My question however. Is when my husband comes home and starts drinking a couple beers. I'm not sure how to handle it. Or can I just ignore that behaviour. Going to another room or leaving causes huge...

imom · imom

Last night was a practice of letting go for me. After 7 hours of waiting for him to come home, he came in the house intoxicated (shocker!) I said hello to him and he started to get defensive immediately. He said, "Go ahead....yell at me." I did not respond. That is a huge step for me! He ke...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi everyone I'm learning a lot but I'm still sad. I can't seen to get myself together and get a life. I work, sleep, eat and go to meetings working my program but not much else. I didn't even want christmas around here but I decided to try something so I got a little tree I had out in storage and decoration...

twladybug · twladybug

I went to my first alanon meeting 2 nights ago and it felt great. At times I feel the recovering alocholic I live with sucks the life right out of me. I start the day in a great mood, feeling good. Then the constant sarcasm and unemotional conversations drain me. Why is it that nothing I do is right? Every qu...

nmike · nmike

This is not my best season but I am getting better thanks to our Alanon principles, literature, meetings, sponsors, and everyone's heartfelt experience, strength, and hope. Update on Nancy: I applied for a new job in a new state, interviewed in June, accepted the job in July, moved in August (after...

Jen · Jen

I had a minor upset with my Mom today. She has been trying to quit smoking for, I don't know, a few months, I guess. She goes through these fazes where she talks about it, but doesn't get very far. I have made many suggestions about resources that she could take advantage of to help herself, but she hasn't l...

Overcome · Overcome

After reading "cinders" post yesterday on Struggling with attempting to have no contact, I have done a lot of introspection on my own life and why it has been so hard for me to not answer my ex's phone calls, emails, and other attempts to contact me in the past. A little background on me firs...

jules · jules

New to this, and there is no one I can ask. I am a 50 year old professional who defined myself as a Mom. My husband and I have been raising 2 kids, 14 yr old Daughter and 15 year old son, in a wonderful neighborhood and a beautiful home. This summer our life tilted on its axis, and our kids became unrecogni...

oldbeforemytime · oldbeforemytime

I am new to this, I have an alcoholic father and it is passed down through generations. How does one deal with verbal abuse, emotional manipulation and the fact that they don't see it as a problem? I am really at the end of my rope, do I cut all ties, do I hand him over to authorities, do I keep my relationshi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I experienced something that I have never experienced before in my life last night. I sat in our local courthouse & listened to over 350 names read that have passed away over the years in my community. One special thing happened that I will cherish the rest of my life. My dad never lived up here but th...

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

I am holding my breath, I have not reacted but I am really wanting some ES&H, experience strength and hope.... My 17 year old son wanted to buy his girlfriend a watch for Christmas. I thought ok $75 tops, he wanted to buy her a Coach watch. This is his first girlfriend and they have been dating a year, f...

imom · imom

I just want to thank all of you for sharing your posts. I am reading them for comfort and reassurance as I wait for my AH to come home. He went to visit his dad, with whom he always drinks. I know he is going to come home at the very least with a buzz. I am anxious and I keep telling myself to live and let go. ...

elizabeth · elizabeth

DO’S AND DON’TS DO’S Forgive Be honest with yourself Be humble Take it easy – tension is harmful Play – find recreation and hobbies Keep on trying whenever you fail Learn the facts about alcoholism Attend Al-Anon meetings often Pray DON’TS &nb...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have one thing to say--I am content & have some serenity in my life. I hope others can say that too. Kathleen

hotrod · hotrod

IN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUALSTEP 5 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD "Admitted to God, to Myself and Another Human Being the Exact Nature of My Wrongs" Please join us and share your thoughts.. This way we all grow Simply Clic...

davie · davie

Hi all, Its been a 2 and a half months since me and my AW have been seperated. she still tries to get in contact and control my emotions. for e.g last weekend my AW managed to get a hold of me by saying to my brother in law that my dog was about to get put down, i had to call so i did. anyways the conversation quickl...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

"Please don't wear perfume. Some of our members have chemical sensitivities." I think that's how it's said. Why is this? I never heard this at an AA meeting. Is chemical sensitivity psychosomatic? Real? Why do people n Alanon or recovery have it?

debhud · debhud

my A son recently lost everything due to his alcoholism. his wife, his kids and now his great job. (he went to a meeting at work intoxicated) he continues to drink excessively. i am finding excuses not to spend time with him. i am just so angry at him and this ugly disease. he has tools to use to help h...

abbyalana · abbyalana

I am starting to force the XAH to pick up our child when I am home from work - after 5 to assure she has a sober ride from him. He is now asking why I am making him wait until 5? What should I say? or Do I not respond as he frequently does to me? The local police department told me to do this so I can see whether he's...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I have shared I am on a nice journey with a cool guy.We are best friends and will meet in a few months. Been friends over 10 years. I am having to leave my cabin. My income just cannot do it, and take care of me. I need some dental stuff done, glasses, cloths. So back to my 5 acres. The loan I have on my place is suc...

Thumbelina · Thumbelina

Hi everybody. This is my first time on this site and i am pleased in a way. I have been married for 12y and have 2 children with my husband. I only today actually tried to find how much is too much to drink. and discovered that its 1,5 pint a day or 14 (units a wek, or just about 9,5 pints a week. if i got it rig...

cinders · cinders

My AH called last night to ask me about divorce papers. He is upset with me because I refuse to let him know where I live. He wants to come by with divorce papers so that they can be signed immediately and submitted. I guess sending me them by mail to a family member takes too long. I stood my ground and w...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I'm in the middle of a very contentious divorce with my AH of 30 years. I suggested that we meet this past weekend to try to settle things on our own, one on one, without the courts having to settle our issues for us. Good thing I had my Al-Anon program tools with me when I met with him. He is still in full denia...

rellik · rellik

We have allways gone to my sisters house for Christmas Eve. The family hires a santa and the kids just love it. My side of the family allways drinks during this time. My wife has chose not to come this year. She told me she cannot be around alcohol yet. So she will be at her grandparents house with her family...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

The best I've ever read on the subject of detachment (with love). Letting Go" * To "let go" does not mean to stop caring; it means I can't do it for someone else. * To "let go" is not to cut myself off; it's the realization I can't control another. * To "let go" is not...

John · John

Each year we try to bring some strong holiday cheer in the MIP recovery homes with holiday decor and cards that can change the spirit of unforgotteness, aloniness, sorrows... Into a time of building new members and embracing a new way of life. To do this we ask ALL Memebers of Miracles in Process to part...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I started moving things into my own apartment this week. I will be out of my mom and dad's by the end of the year. Just going to be me and my doggies. I alternate between excited, sad and angry. Definitely not where I thought I would be at this stage in my life.

el-cee · el-cee

I have been sick for years. I form codependant relationships and enable. First my a ex and then my prob drinker son who is 19. The trouble is since finding alanon I have been detaching, he does nothing for himself and regularly behaves aggressively towards me and a couple of times to my younger boy who is...

cdrew422 · cdrew422

Hi, I'm new here. I haven't attended an alanon meeting yet, I am having problems figuring out what to do with my kids, but I need something- I need to talk to others that know. My husband is an alcoholic, he recently lost his job due to it, but then made a "commitment" to stop- well stop drinkin...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am resolved that there will be resolution to my health problems. I am just grateful that I am feeling better & that I hope to continue to enjoy another holiday season. Not much more to say except that my AH are getting along better & that is mostly due to another revelation of mine that I have bee...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I'm deeply grateful to both of my programs emphasis on Al-Anon. I can only exist serenely in today and that is time enough to deal with and live with what is present before me...lots of stuff...great, good, pleasant, curious, somewhat anxious, worrisome, frightening and terrorizing. Most of wh...

Rosieee · Rosieee

When I reconnected with my teenage sweetheart, I thought the fact that he was in AA was refreshing after being with an active alcoholic (in denial) for 25 years. He's very enlightened and spiritual, and it seemed like our lives mirrored each others in so many ways. So, I moved in with him...with my tw...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I have shared the ex A's disease took everything. I thought it was over. Its gotten where I cannot even afford to live up here in my cabin. I gotta go try to fix up a part of my place on the 5 acres to be liveable. Bring my horse Elgin home. It is still where the mortgage co. commited fraud so there it sits, still...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I just wana scream !!!!!!

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

I love my husband so very much. I know that I post all the terrible things that come with his alcohlism, but he can be a really great man. He cooks wonderful dinners almost every night and anything I want (materially) I get. He goes on and on about how beautiful I am and I know he really does love me. I lo...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I have been up since 1am praying to God and thanking him for what he has done for me in the last few weeks. He has taught me many lessons with the help of all my good friends here and in my face to face meetings. He has also brought Jon into my life to help with my son. Tonight my son went to AA. He already got a s...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

Only 5 days into No Contact i don't feel right. It's like I've slipped and am self will run riot out there. I don't feel I'm doing what God wants me to do. I can give you all kinds of sad stories about the way I've been treated by my family. it sucks, yes. Do I want a different family? I don't know. I got the best o...

karren26 · karren26

Day three of him not talking to me after the insane random blow up Sunday night. He did come home last night with a six pack and went into the basement, heard him on the phone. 7:30 came up and got in his car and left. Went to a co workers. He never does this. Came in at 11:30 then called into work this morning an...

imom · imom

Why is it that every time I see him under the influence, I feel the need to point it out to him. Of course he only denies it and then we end up in a fight. I know there's no reason for me to point it out, I guess I just really want him to know that he's not getting away with anything...that I know. I realize it's...

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

Is anyone else having trouble?

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning I'm happy to say I'm learning every day to take care of me and not enage my son. Yesterday he called me in a panic that he lost his keys at a work site he was doing a odd job picking up trash for my AA friend. He also had a homeless man there that he gave a few cents to because he won't leave my son al...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	im just curious on high functioning alcoholics (Preview) My AH is a high functioning alcoholic. He shouldve hit rock bottom when his EXAGF overdosed and he found her. She was the worse of the two of their addictive lives. So it was easier to distract ppl from how sick he was also. He now holds a very good job, but alcohol (and when he "quits drinking"...	sweeetr	8	685	Dec 19, 2012 by sweeetr
	home for the holidays? (Preview) Hello everyone. I'm having a difficult time making a decision and was wondering if anyone could share any similar experiences. My father is a very unpredictable alcoholic. Growing up he would drink and wrestle my mom in front of my sister and me, when we were teenagers he would push her and pin her unti...	invinciblesummer	4	531	Dec 19, 2012 by invinciblesummer
	Court Hearing Today (Preview) It breaks my heart to have to go to court to prevent my STBXH from getting spousal support from me. After 30 years of marriage, we have to allow strangers (my lawyer and the judge- my AH currently has no one representing him) to make decisions about our finances. My STBXH looked horrible in court today. H...	Green Eyes	6	643	Dec 19, 2012 by hotrod
	How do I pass the message (Preview) I have been in Al-Anon for a little over 9 years. When asked how do I help my child I have always shared what (I thought) worked for me. Things like I shut down the Bank of Mom I stopped rescuing giving him the dignity to grow up. etc All of this made good common sense until July 13, 2012. That is the date I w...	Mobirdie	8	678	Dec 19, 2012 by Ness
	I thought I was "getting it". (Preview) I have been on here for months, gone to 2 Al Anon meetings and thought I was "getting it". I wasn't. The words were there and I was hearing them and knew them, but not completely. Had another breakdown in front of the wife last night. I don't consider it a failure or lost cause. The whole ti...	hdftby100	8	810	Dec 19, 2012 by maryjane
	Newbie (Preview) Im new at this... Over the past couple of years, doctors and nurses in emergency rooms have taken me aside and handed me Al Anon family group flyers. They begged me to go, to talk, to listen. In truth, the thought of talking about my alcoholic dad was very frightening. My dad has been an alcoholic for near...	Andrea91	4	506	Dec 19, 2012 by Andrea91
	ABF picked up drinking yesterday... (Preview) ...because that's what alcoholics do. 4 months 'dry'...without the guidance of a program, an emotional rollercoaster for him, and all the people he's in contact with. Including me. I have been reading and coming back , not much posting lately, because there is not always the need to analyze it all, I...	tortuga	7	611	Dec 19, 2012 by hotrod
	... (Preview) Hi I can't make a meeting would some one care to talk to me private	RR67	2	598	Dec 19, 2012 by RR67
	THANK YOU AL-ANON/ACOA (Preview) It Truly has been a Tough last 10days... I know this time of Year brings out the More "Crazy's" then we are use to on a regular basis, at least it seems true for me! Last week putting our young friend to rest was Tough! And to know that Addiction WON again, is Heart Breaking... However, His Pain i...	Jozie	3	513	Dec 19, 2012 by hotrod
	New level of understanding! (Preview) I went ot a family counselor the other day. The first thing she wanted to talk about was my understanding of alcoholism and if I had any questions about it. Hell yeah! Why, with the alcohol in my family and the abuse I went through as a child am I able to drink then stop when I want to and not drink for months ti...	rellik	4	522	Dec 18, 2012 by Jozie
	OK.....stay on your side of the street (Preview) Well all the calling has stopped so I'm guessing he's drinking again. But here I go...thinking way to much about it. I'm just writing this to keep myself honest and to stay on my side of the street. It's like I have to answer to someone ( MIP )..... It's also helps me to THINK !!! about what I'm doin...	Cathyinaz	5	757	Dec 18, 2012 by Zimmy
	Intervention (Preview) I have noticed lately that my husband looks like he is 8 to 10 months pregnant. Now, I am not a doctor, but I am pretty sure it is because his liver is enlarged. He is drinking at least 1/2 a case of beer every night and when it isn't a work night, he drinks even more. I frantically called his mother this mor...	almostgivenup	3	425	Dec 18, 2012 by pinkchip
	Re established boundaries (Preview) I was so proud of the way I handled things! I sat down and told my AH: He has started breakin boundaries I have set. I see personality traits developing in our son that are not healthy(I gave examples And how they mimmicted my AH behaviors) 1-I said there will be no alcohol or drinking at this house. My son...	sweeetr	5	469	Dec 18, 2012 by Pushka
	Whew! I'm plumb tired (Preview) I haven't been working my program at all for the last 3 weeks. I've totally slacked off. The flu, a bronchial infection before that, and then a new puppy have thrown my schedule for a loop. Oh, and throw in the holidays and I'm beside myself. AH and I have been going to marriage counseling weekly. Thi...	ilovedogs	8	594	Dec 18, 2012 by Pushka
	Different situation to me (Preview) Ok, so last night the wife and I went to a Christmas party. We were invited by a friend of mine and there were a few people from my workout class there that I knew. The wife knew really no one. She had met the invitee twice before (who is a woman, not that it really matters). The wife originally really did...	hdftby100	6	518	Dec 18, 2012 by rellik
	Alcoholic boyfriend help please (Preview) My boyfriend is my world. He is the one that I know God made for me. After we had been together for just over half a year is when I discovered that he was an alcoholic. Now about once a month he goes through a vicious cycle of leaving me.. Because he says that I am too good for him and I deserve better. He tells me...	kelseyg32792	10	11009	Dec 18, 2012 by hotrod
	What do I tell my kids (Preview) My relapsed alcoholic husband finally ask me to call to get him into rehab again. This will be the second time. He started drinking about 4 months ago after being sober a year and is now To the point where he misses work and is passed out most of the time. What do I yell my 6 and 8 year old about where daddy...	Looking for peace	6	561	Dec 17, 2012 by pinkchip
	Newbie... In pain & confusion (Preview) I've been in a relationship for 28 months, living with a lifelong A. He & I seemed to click from the moment we met & our relationship progressed quickly. My ABF/ finance also suffers from mental issue, he is a cutter & often suicidal but those episodes were always fueled by alcohol. He is co...	AngieP	4	563	Dec 17, 2012 by pinkchip
	You have got to be kidding me (Preview) I am upstairs right now, while my AH sits downstairs, drinking and watching TV. He came up to tell me something, and I had a Facebook game up on my computer screen. He said "oh, you're playing a game?" and I responded that yes, I had been looking at my mom's Facebook page. Then I started to cr...	stephaniej	2	435	Dec 17, 2012 by Zimmy
	Question from experience please (Preview) I have read 4-5 recommended books and I find helpful interesting things that apply to me in each of them. My question however. Is when my husband comes home and starts drinking a couple beers. I'm not sure how to handle it. Or can I just ignore that behaviour. Going to another room or leaving causes huge...	sweeetr	5	584	Dec 17, 2012 by kaybee
	I did it! (Preview) Last night was a practice of letting go for me. After 7 hours of waiting for him to come home, he came in the house intoxicated (shocker!) I said hello to him and he started to get defensive immediately. He said, "Go ahead....yell at me." I did not respond. That is a huge step for me! He ke...	imom	6	520	Dec 17, 2012 by nmike
	It's raining and I'm sad (Preview) Hi everyone I'm learning a lot but I'm still sad. I can't seen to get myself together and get a life. I work, sleep, eat and go to meetings working my program but not much else. I didn't even want christmas around here but I decided to try something so I got a little tree I had out in storage and decoration...	Cathyinaz	10	772	Dec 17, 2012 by nmike
	living with recovering A (Preview) I went to my first alanon meeting 2 nights ago and it felt great. At times I feel the recovering alocholic I live with sucks the life right out of me. I start the day in a great mood, feeling good. Then the constant sarcasm and unemotional conversations drain me. Why is it that nothing I do is right? Every qu...	twladybug	4	636	Dec 17, 2012 by nmike
	Best to you all (Preview) This is not my best season but I am getting better thanks to our Alanon principles, literature, meetings, sponsors, and everyone's heartfelt experience, strength, and hope. Update on Nancy: I applied for a new job in a new state, interviewed in June, accepted the job in July, moved in August (after...	nmike	4	447	Dec 17, 2012 by Jerry F
	My Mom cigarettes smoking (Preview) I had a minor upset with my Mom today. She has been trying to quit smoking for, I don't know, a few months, I guess. She goes through these fazes where she talks about it, but doesn't get very far. I have made many suggestions about resources that she could take advantage of to help herself, but she hasn't l...	Jen	4	666	Dec 16, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Trying to live up to an Ideal (Preview) After reading "cinders" post yesterday on Struggling with attempting to have no contact, I have done a lot of introspection on my own life and why it has been so hard for me to not answer my ex's phone calls, emails, and other attempts to contact me in the past. A little background on me firs...	Overcome	8	600	Dec 16, 2012 by Overcome
	Do I belong here? (Preview) New to this, and there is no one I can ask. I am a 50 year old professional who defined myself as a Mom. My husband and I have been raising 2 kids, 14 yr old Daughter and 15 year old son, in a wonderful neighborhood and a beautiful home. This summer our life tilted on its axis, and our kids became unrecogni...	jules	6	562	Dec 16, 2012 by Desirae
	My father... (Preview) I am new to this, I have an alcoholic father and it is passed down through generations. How does one deal with verbal abuse, emotional manipulation and the fact that they don't see it as a problem? I am really at the end of my rope, do I cut all ties, do I hand him over to authorities, do I keep my relationshi...	oldbeforemytime	4	446	Dec 16, 2012 by Tarase
	Tree of memories & me! (Preview) I experienced something that I have never experienced before in my life last night. I sat in our local courthouse & listened to over 350 names read that have passed away over the years in my community. One special thing happened that I will cherish the rest of my life. My dad never lived up here but th...	Hoot Nanny	1	408	Dec 16, 2012 by Jen
	Having a hard time breathing - am I over reacting? (Preview) I am holding my breath, I have not reacted but I am really wanting some ES&H, experience strength and hope.... My 17 year old son wanted to buy his girlfriend a watch for Christmas. I thought ok $75 tops, he wanted to buy her a Coach watch. This is his first girlfriend and they have been dating a year, f...	RobinKSC	3	494	Dec 16, 2012 by Jen
	thankful (Preview) I just want to thank all of you for sharing your posts. I am reading them for comfort and reassurance as I wait for my AH to come home. He went to visit his dad, with whom he always drinks. I know he is going to come home at the very least with a buzz. I am anxious and I keep telling myself to live and let go. ...	imom	3	425	Dec 16, 2012 by Jerry F
	The DO's and DON'Ts of Al-anon (Preview) DO’S AND DON’TS DO’S Forgive Be honest with yourself Be humble Take it easy – tension is harmful Play – find recreation and hobbies Keep on trying whenever you fail Learn the facts about alcoholism Attend Al-Anon meetings often Pray DON’TS &nb...	elizabeth	4	988	Dec 16, 2012 by cla
	one thing to say! (Preview) *I have one thing to say--I am content & have some serenity in my life. I hope others can say that too.* *Kathleen*	Hoot Nanny	3	375	Dec 16, 2012 by kaybee
	Step 5 Step Work Board (Preview) *IN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR* GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUALSTEP 5 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD "Admitted to God, to Myself and Another Human Being the Exact Nature of My Wrongs" Please join us and share your thoughts.. This way we all grow Simply Clic...	hotrod	0	427	Dec 15, 2012 by hotrod
	Detatchment (Preview) Hi all, Its been a 2 and a half months since me and my AW have been seperated. she still tries to get in contact and control my emotions. for e.g last weekend my AW managed to get a hold of me by saying to my brother in law that my dog was about to get put down, i had to call so i did. anyways the conversation quickl...	davie	3	393	Dec 16, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	Why do some Alanon meetings say... (Preview) "Please don't wear perfume. Some of our members have chemical sensitivities." I think that's how it's said. Why is this? I never heard this at an AA meeting. Is chemical sensitivity psychosomatic? Real? Why do people n Alanon or recovery have it?	WorkingThroughIt	11	764	Dec 15, 2012 by RobinKSC
	feel guilty because i am avoiding A son (Preview) my A son recently lost everything due to his alcoholism. his wife, his kids and now his great job. (he went to a meeting at work intoxicated) he continues to drink excessively. i am finding excuses not to spend time with him. i am just so angry at him and this ugly disease. he has tools to use to help h...	debhud	7	665	Dec 15, 2012 by tired of trying
	Help! Starting to push back on drinking and driving with our child (Preview) I am starting to force the XAH to pick up our child when I am home from work - after 5 to assure she has a sober ride from him. He is now asking why I am making him wait until 5? What should I say? or Do I not respond as he frequently does to me? The local police department told me to do this so I can see whether he's...	abbyalana	3	548	Dec 15, 2012 by Jerry F
	what does this mean? (Preview) I have shared I am on a nice journey with a cool guy.We are best friends and will meet in a few months. Been friends over 10 years. I am having to leave my cabin. My income just cannot do it, and take care of me. I need some dental stuff done, glasses, cloths. So back to my 5 acres. The loan I have on my place is suc...	Debilyn	1	518	Dec 15, 2012 by Mattie
	New here. My husband has drinking problem. Drinking problem husband (Preview) Hi everybody. This is my first time on this site and i am pleased in a way. I have been married for 12y and have 2 children with my husband. I only today actually tried to find how much is too much to drink. and discovered that its 1,5 pint a day or 14 (units a wek, or just about 9,5 pints a week. if i got it rig...	Thumbelina	4	7404	Dec 15, 2012 by hotrod
	Letting go - Finally!! (Preview) My AH called last night to ask me about divorce papers. He is upset with me because I refuse to let him know where I live. He wants to come by with divorce papers so that they can be signed immediately and submitted. I guess sending me them by mail to a family member takes too long. I stood my ground and w...	cinders	5	645	Dec 15, 2012 by orchidlover
	Divorce Settlement Issues (Preview) I'm in the middle of a very contentious divorce with my AH of 30 years. I suggested that we meet this past weekend to try to settle things on our own, one on one, without the courts having to settle our issues for us. Good thing I had my Al-Anon program tools with me when I met with him. He is still in full denia...	Green Eyes	8	754	Dec 15, 2012 by bud
	Christmas Eve apart for the first time in 13yrs (Preview) We have allways gone to my sisters house for Christmas Eve. The family hires a santa and the kids just love it. My side of the family allways drinks during this time. My wife has chose not to come this year. She told me she cannot be around alcohol yet. So she will be at her grandparents house with her family...	rellik	10	523	Dec 15, 2012 by hotrod
	Detachment ( with love ) (Preview) The best I've ever read on the subject of detachment (with love). Letting Go" * To "let go" does not mean to stop caring; it means I can't do it for someone else. * To "let go" is not to cut myself off; it's the realization I can't control another. * To "let go" is not...	Cathyinaz	7	751	Dec 14, 2012 by sweeetr
	holiday card request for MIP house residents (Preview) Each year we try to bring some strong holiday cheer in the MIP recovery homes with holiday decor and cards that can change the spirit of unforgotteness, aloniness, sorrows... Into a time of building new members and embracing a new way of life. To do this we ask ALL Memebers of Miracles in Process to part...	John	0	430	Dec 14, 2012 by John
	The Next Right Thing (Preview) I started moving things into my own apartment this week. I will be out of my mom and dad's by the end of the year. Just going to be me and my doggies. I alternate between excited, sad and angry. Definitely not where I thought I would be at this stage in my life.	WornOutMrsFixIt	2	467	Dec 14, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	sick of being sick (Preview) I have been sick for years. I form codependant relationships and enable. First my a ex and then my prob drinker son who is 19. The trouble is since finding alanon I have been detaching, he does nothing for himself and regularly behaves aggressively towards me and a couple of times to my younger boy who is...	el-cee	2	501	Dec 14, 2012 by Zimmy
	I'm new here... (Preview) Hi, I'm new here. I haven't attended an alanon meeting yet, I am having problems figuring out what to do with my kids, but I need something- I need to talk to others that know. My husband is an alcoholic, he recently lost his job due to it, but then made a "commitment" to stop- well stop drinkin...	cdrew422	3	511	Dec 14, 2012 by Zimmy
	resolve & resolution (Preview) I am resolved that there will be resolution to my health problems. I am just grateful that I am feeling better & that I hope to continue to enjoy another holiday season. Not much more to say except that my AH are getting along better & that is mostly due to another revelation of mine that I have bee...	Hoot Nanny	3	400	Dec 14, 2012 by Jen
	Facing the unknown and the expected... (Preview) I'm deeply grateful to both of my programs emphasis on Al-Anon. I can only exist serenely in today and that is time enough to deal with and live with what is present before me...lots of stuff...great, good, pleasant, curious, somewhat anxious, worrisome, frightening and terrorizing. Most of wh...	Jerry F	6	703	Dec 14, 2012 by Debilyn
	Looking for any help - newbie with recovering alcoholic (Preview) When I reconnected with my teenage sweetheart, I thought the fact that he was in AA was refreshing after being with an active alcoholic (in denial) for 25 years. He's very enlightened and spiritual, and it seemed like our lives mirrored each others in so many ways. So, I moved in with him...with my tw...	Rosieee	6	538	Dec 14, 2012 by Rosieee
	Losses keep coming (Preview) I have shared the ex A's disease took everything. I thought it was over. Its gotten where I cannot even afford to live up here in my cabin. I gotta go try to fix up a part of my place on the 5 acres to be liveable. Bring my horse Elgin home. It is still where the mortgage co. commited fraud so there it sits, still...	Debilyn	8	641	Dec 14, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Losing it (Preview) I just wana scream !!!!!!	sweeetr	3	415	Dec 14, 2012 by Pushka
	Really? Is this the life I am meant to lead? (Preview) I love my husband so very much. I know that I post all the terrible things that come with his alcohlism, but he can be a really great man. He cooks wonderful dinners almost every night and anything I want (materially) I get. He goes on and on about how beautiful I am and I know he really does love me. I lo...	almostgivenup	12	765	Dec 14, 2012 by Lyne
	My HP at work (Preview) I have been up since 1am praying to God and thanking him for what he has done for me in the last few weeks. He has taught me many lessons with the help of all my good friends here and in my face to face meetings. He has also brought Jon into my life to help with my son. Tonight my son went to AA. He already got a s...	Cathyinaz	6	497	Dec 13, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Update on No Contact (Preview) Only 5 days into No Contact i don't feel right. It's like I've slipped and am self will run riot out there. I don't feel I'm doing what God wants me to do. I can give you all kinds of sad stories about the way I've been treated by my family. it sucks, yes. Do I want a different family? I don't know. I got the best o...	WorkingThroughIt	9	929	Dec 13, 2012 by pinkchip
	When I leave it will be a shelter (Preview) Day three of him not talking to me after the insane random blow up Sunday night. He did come home last night with a six pack and went into the basement, heard him on the phone. 7:30 came up and got in his car and left. Went to a co workers. He never does this. Came in at 11:30 then called into work this morning an...	karren26	4	588	Dec 13, 2012 by karren26
	i can't stop (Preview) Why is it that every time I see him under the influence, I feel the need to point it out to him. Of course he only denies it and then we end up in a fight. I know there's no reason for me to point it out, I guess I just really want him to know that he's not getting away with anything...that I know. I realize it's...	imom	14	743	Dec 13, 2012 by imom
	having trouble getting into the chat room (Preview) Is anyone else having trouble?	RobinKSC	2	388	Dec 13, 2012 by wp
	Used a Tool yesterday (Preview) Good Morning I'm happy to say I'm learning every day to take care of me and not enage my son. Yesterday he called me in a panic that he lost his keys at a work site he was doing a odd job picking up trash for my AA friend. He also had a homeless man there that he gave a few cents to because he won't leave my son al...	Cathyinaz	2	450	Dec 12, 2012 by AStrongerMe
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.