Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sookie · sookie

My husband, who doesn't live with me and his daughters anymore, is on probation for 2 DWI's. He has repeatedly shown up drunk and i know he has even gone to work drunk. If I call the police on him (which I threatened to do last night because he got wasted while being responsible for our kids), what will happ...

Brandi28 · Brandi28

Hi everyone, I'm completely new to this and just wanted to try and let go of some of my recent issues, so here goes...I have been brought up in an alcoholic home, my dad is now a dry drunk and my mum is an adult child in recovery. I'm 28 and although there haven't been any specific problems for a long time I ha...

sweeetr · sweeetr

im not sure if Im learning to cope or letting things get so out of hand I quit... I keep putting off seeing an attorney .. for money reasons and medical (some medical tests have come back bad on me) I will lose ins when divorce is final... But whats better die from cancer with sanity or live with total insani...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Changes and things that I have wanted to see are starting to happen and I have conflicting feelings about them. I definitely need some feedback. My AH of 26 years that I have been separated from since August has finally started seeing a psychiatrist, regularly attending AA meetings and even got a s...

shimo · shimo

MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETINGS DEC 10 & 17 I am unable to chair the Monday morning Al-Anon meetings for December 10 & December 17. Hoping someone will be able to step-up and chair those meetings on my behalf. Thanks Shimo (aka Jeri)

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

He was coming into town tomorrow afternoon to do Christmas shopping and was going to stay at a local hotel and take the girls swimming. We talked on the phone and I even invited him over for lunch with us after we went to church, he said yes. Later conversation he said he wanted to hang out with me when I got d...

Pushka · Pushka

Well, this is a laugh at myself moment .. LOL .. it speaks volumes about how badly I allowed another person to treat me and now this is the norm for them. This is my part, now I'm asking for a change in this and it's been interesting to say the least. As I have already shared I am having zero contact if it is no...

sookie · sookie

Just needed to be here today. I have been still working my program with face to face meetings (2/week) but I feel I will need more support over the next months. I am going to end my marriage to the AH, who has now been struggling with his recovery in his own apartment for 18 months. Nothing is moving forward...

sweeetr · sweeetr

So I had to leave last night. I was on computer and his "chat sex live girl" popped on screen.And said welcome back guest360 ... pulled histrory and he had been talkinh and whatever sith her for at least A week He has never been one to cheat. I did the wrong thing. I went to bedroom Nd asked him abo...

hotrod · 255

Newcomer to the forum. First time back "home" to NYC where I lived for 7 years before moving out West and my life falling apart last Feb, started the program on Labor Day. Leading up to the trip I'm pretty much in the vigilance of the child of a diseased mother, afraid that when I leave here for m...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I need a good laugh! does anyone have a clean joke or anything to get us laughing at these somewhat difficult times for some and a joy for others? I am not just thinking of myself but all of you who need a laugh! Kathleen

Sister34 · Sister34

Well, it's my qualifier's birthday and my mom took her to the E.R. again. Here's a question: how many times have you taken your alcoholic to the E.R.? Ten? Twenty? Thirty? Forty? Fifty? Sixty? I have lost track. When she drinks, she drinks suicidally. Then at some point a few days later, once she ha...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey Everyone, There was a time before al-anon that in order to cope with life and all of the alcoholic's problems I had taught myself to not feel anything. I was walking around numb inside because I was tired of feeling hurt. Over my time in Al-Anon, I have learned that it's ok and even necessary to feel. T...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

My son called and was talking off the wall. He was sober but his mind is lost and not thinking right. It's so sad to listen to him. He wants me to take his things.... No he wants me to take his things so I will help him. It's not going to happen. He is so lost and confused now and I pray he will come to grips wi...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, just been away on a family programme for families of drinkers and drugs users, WOW Had the privealage to learn so much and do lots of group therapy amazin. One of the work shops was on family roles. e.g caretaker, scape goat, lost child, hero there were many more. I was the caretaker I would neg...

captain sensible · captain sensible

This is the first time that I have visited or posted on a forum. In brief, my husband was a functioning alcoholic when we got together some 13 years ago and has had stints at AA which were initially very positive for us both. He started to have an issue about confidentiality and stopped going. He used to wa...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Strong Cathy has just broken down and crying for having to say NO to my son. I did it but I am now freaking out and can't get it under control. He called about he is ******* if he is gets back to his place ( was in detox ) and is kicked out. I said nothing...just I'm sorry. All he's doing is complaining and...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I finally set the boundaries with mother & father. Very painful and difficult and guilt-provoking to take care of ourselves sometimes. Things simply had to get to a place for me where (without anger) I just could not envision myself at Christmas this year with them or my brother. I just got tired o...

sweeetr · sweeetr

So my moms 72 bday. My daughter and her fiance my 7 yr old all meeting at small restaurant to eat. My AH showed up early. I get a phone call he has ordered appitizers for everyone (It was a nice idea but he doesnt even know what anyone wants .. one of his drinking signature moves.. ordering for ppl and then if i...

Zimmy · Zimmy

abf was coming round with a curry and spend the night, he comes in and wanted me to watch a funny video on facebook, me, our son and him watched the video a couple of times (yeah it did make me chuckle) he kept saying you gotta watch it, you gotta watch it. I say to that "no i dont" and boom the atpmo...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Don't really have anyone to tell but I kind of had a anniversary on November 29th. I QUIT SMOKING 2 YEARS AND GOING STRONG Kind of proud of myself

debhud · debhud

hi all, does anyone know if they have alanon meetings specific to parents of alcoholics? or any good alanon approved literature on the subject? thanks, debbie

Sarah325 · Sarah325

police just called and woke us up...my niece called them...she said a serial killer was after her...her mother gave the police our number( really? Why?). I told them she was an alcoholic, they thought she was mentally ill. How could her mother not have told them? They took her to jail to sober up...I pr...

Lyne · Lyne

So here I am on Friday night. I have spent the day discussing with my spouse, why we are not close, why we are not romantic, and why we just can't be happy. I told her she is in denial about her multiple addictions: drinking, gambling, eating, and lying. She only recognizes eating as one of her problems. I t...

abbyalana · abbyalana

I divorced my alcoholic ex-husband after 16 years, 3 rehabs and 1 suicide attempt. I had to let go and choose healthy. That said, we share a 12 year old child. A great girl. Smart, funny, compassionate and truly well behaved. My ex really wasn't there for her during our marriage and at the heart of i...

Juliann · Juliann

I have been with my husband for 12 years. He was an alcoholic before we got together. Throughout the years he began to be an unmanageable alcoholic. Meaning he no longer worked a real job. Only helped out family/farmers for money. Would sleep until 2-3pm everyday and stay up late. our youngest is 4 mo...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Got a call from my son telling me is done and put himself into the hospital again. He has done this many times so we will see if he means it this time. He thought he could be put in a 30 day program but they told him no and will be sending him to detox only. He was shocked but I guess after many times going to th...

slverdream · slverdream

This is the first time I have visited this board and I am not sure where to start. I am married to a wonderful man, when we were married 4 years ago, of course I knew he had 2 adult daughters (at the time they were 19 and 21) The youngest lived with us, and she was in college, not a big deal I also have 3 children an...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi again Well it's been two weeks now that I have not talked to my son and I'm letting go and letting God do the work. It's been the hardest thing I ever had to do. I feel so guilty I'm abandoning him still but attending Al-anon meetings and see my counselor now. I'm lost, heartbroken and sad knowing he...

msblonde56 · msblonde56

Hi. First post, first realization of a problem in my marriage, first marriage, first experience with a possible alcoholic. I'm 28 years old and have been married for just a little over a year. My husband and I met and moved in quickly together, but we dated 4 years before we got engaged. I apparently...

Pushka · Pushka

Sooo .. I have been thinking about this for the past few days and something I am going to give myself as a gift is getting through steps 4 and 5 before the next court date which actually is NOT the 17th .. I just found out yesterday that it's Jan 8th .. LOL .. I recently said this is like a canker sore that won't g...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

Just wanted to share my experience last night. I had to work an extra shift at work (scheduled). While working, I thought to myself that the wife was probably at home drinking wine since I was not there. End to this story is this: When I got home she was in bed. I walked in the kitchen to get something to...

stephaniej · stephaniej

My AH was in a fight tonight. He bowls on Wednesday nights, and usually gets home around 1:00. When I woke up at 2:15, he still wasn't here. He rolled in around 2:30, and told me all about the fight he was in with some guy from work (not a guy he actually works with...just a guy who works in a different area...

el-cee · el-cee

I have just discovered this fabulous site. I have been a grateful Al-Anon member for around 8 months and although I have a lot to learn I have already learned so much. I know I am on a journey although I have recently resorted to my default mode which is being controlling and obsessive. I have hope though...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Got that call from my son and I just let him talk about what he has started, done and will be doing. All good. I can only pray he will follow through. What I did.....which was very small for some but BIG BIG BIG for me. I had told him I would not be taking or picking him up from the hospitals or detox center a...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, my name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of the worldwide fellowship of al-anon.Growing up in an alcoholic home, you see and experience things a certain way. A different way that doesnt promote a lot of hope, happiness or that wonderful things will ever or are meant to happen to you...

I-can-yeah · I-can-yeah

Hi friends, I'm new to the board. I've been in Al-Anon for 2 years, separated from my now ex-husband for 2 years as well. Nutshell/back-story: I met my ex-husband 16 years ago at an AA dance. I was very young and only 6 months sober. He wasn't my type and I didn't feel any chemistry, but I was trying to "...

Pushka · Pushka

I have court today and I am completely nervous in a good way I think, .. regardless of the outcome the kids and I really are going to be fine. I'm just so anxious to get in and get out and I have to wait ALL afternoon. Compound that with Mr Crazy Pants is soooo in town at the moment and I'm working on not engagi...

rellik · rellik

Ok so I found an Al-Anon group that I like I have attended four meetings there. I don't know how to ask someone to sponsor me. I really need a sponsor. I have grown and achieved about all I can on my own. Im stuck and starting to regress. I absolutly HATE!!!!! asking for help! I am a very proud and self suffici...

z28lt1gurl · z28lt1gurl

ok so I got a call from my mom today. She was begging to come back to the house saying she has been living in her car. (its cold out so I worry about that) I really don't know what to do! I have mixed feelings about this.

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Ah my mom, I love her with every ounce of my being. She is getting old, she is getting forgetful and a little cranky. I am extremely forgiving. There is an issue that's been coming up a LOT lately. Short background - she and her mother never talked between the time she was 30 and the time her mom died (abo...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello Family... Hope all are Finding your way to Peace this Holiday Season! I Know for Me the Holidays are always tough but I think Thanksgiving/Christmas for me is Usually the Toughest of them all... Most Know I Lost my Afather on Thanksgiving a Couple years back, and With Christmas Being my Birthday...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Its funny how you can go from one day being OK to the next SCARED. I missed a call from my son ( in detox ) and all of a sudden I'm scared to death of him or what he might say. Oh I didn't get a sponsor yet but will try tonight. I'm a big chicken lol Hugs Cathy

pinkchip · pinkchip

Hey folks. Just wanted to share my experience with this as I see so many folks struggling with their qualifiers and saying "He/She continues to choose the drinking over his/her family/marriage." This has been talked about many times on the board but some things are so baffling (like a...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

I had been commenting to my wife about how nice the Kindle Fire was... lo and behold, one shows up in its poorly hidden packaging yesterday- Im having a hard time with it because every year I want to do something nice for my girls in Michigan, two have birthdays this month along with Christmas, and we sent...

maria12 · maria12

Hi everyone I'm going to take this moment to get these thoughts out and relieve my painful heart. I have experienced alcoholism in my life. I lost my adopted father when I was 13 yrs old to cirrhosis of the liver he was only 42. Then my brother who was my dads natural child has been suffering from it for ye...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Hi guys! I'm stuck home with a sick kid, sick self, and a brand new puppy who has lots of energy! My AH is out of town for work and I asked him to come back(which I've never done in our entire marriage) and he told me that he doesn't want to get sick because he has to be out of town again next week. Gee, thanks,...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today is a perfect day to take it slow & easy. I find the quicker I move the more behinder I get. I am just going to have to really slow down. I am finding that I even have to slow down on here when I type. So, I guess you all "get" it. I am not busy just anxious sometimes. I need a breather. I need to...

Annie1234 · Annie1234

I'm brand new to the board. I don't have anyone to talk to. My husband is an alcoholic, but he is in denial. His way of thinking is that he doesn't drink every day, and he doesn't drink at home. Well, he drinks to get drunk. He can't just have a couple of beers. He drinks 12 or more. Recently, he was cha...

cinders · cinders

Last night my AH called for the first time since I moved out of our home 3 weeks ago. While the conversation was very hard to have and there was more fighting than I wanted there to be, when the first thing he said to me was asking about the divorce papers rather than asking how I was doing, I knew that I had ma...

one_moment · one_moment

I just recently was blessed by finding this site. Although I am currently in a program, I feel all the extra understanding is huge in my ability to "live and let live". At this stage of my life I am unable to live one day at a time, so I'm living hour by hour and sometimes minute by minute. I guess a...

mtk746 · mtk746

Hi - I just found this board today and am looking for help for myself, not for my fiance. We've been together for two years and our wedding will be next August. I've spent the last year trying to convince myself that he just "likes to drink" or he "needs to relax". But after anoth...

sassycat · sassycat

So I hope this is appropriate for this forum. I'm just looking for some ideas. My husband is an alcoholic/adict. He's unemployed and doed not have is own savings or income. When he relapses he will steal my money. I cannot keep credit or debit cards because he will use them. Cash of course is easy to steal...

AlAnonDave · AlAnonDave

I'm an AA member, just started going to Al-Anon meetings because of lingering adult child issues I have yet to resolve and I do know AlAnon is for ACAs also. I'm debating getting a therapist to go over these issues because after all this time, I'm still not over a lot of it. The childhood issues can be so ov...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I feel like I should be baking him a cake or getting him a gift, it's what I did when I was seperated from him last year before the divorce was final. I know I won't and haven't, but what a true codependent I am. I have a program and I work it diligently, but for some reason his birthday coming is bringing me bac...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I've been seeking guidance from HP Started reading getting them sober vol one Getting my toes stepped on so I know I'm getting a message He wants me to get. Sadness and frustration seem to be getting better and I'm finding myself more productive again as a parent, spouse and person ! To my MIP family t...

Diva · Diva

Today, December 4th, my little poodle is running against a kitty cat to win the day's Cat vs Dog competition. Please go to WCIU.com, click on the contests and give Looi your vote. Thanks. I am busy getting ready to have family for Christmas, and I am so excited. Trying to get everything done so the hou...

DavidG · DavidG

Oh vey! We had our pre-Christmas domestic melt-down this week. Had our alanon meeting tonight and thankfully the home front was back in shape by then. Glad that the programme works for me day by day. Our group has a steady membership of five, with visitors sometimes. Our group was in recess fpr abo...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I loved this, when I first came to Al-Anon I kept wanting to know why, and this reading is so very true! Pg 339 "Some of us come to Al-Anon to find out why the alcoholic drinks. We're afraid it's because "he doesn't love me anymore" or because something we have doneor are doing is upsettin...

Jackie Z · Jackie Z

I have been a reader of all the message board and decided it is time to share ESH and stop just being a receiver of all this support. I just went through a breakup with my A BF after a 3 year relationship. My story is my husband died 14 years ago and this was my 1st relationship after his death. He is the father...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	When do you call the police? (Preview) My husband, who doesn't live with me and his daughters anymore, is on probation for 2 DWI's. He has repeatedly shown up drunk and i know he has even gone to work drunk. If I call the police on him (which I threatened to do last night because he got wasted while being responsible for our kids), what will happ...	sookie	5	572	Dec 10, 2012 by abbyalana
	Newbie (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm completely new to this and just wanted to try and let go of some of my recent issues, so here goes...I have been brought up in an alcoholic home, my dad is now a dry drunk and my mum is an adult child in recovery. I'm 28 and although there haven't been any specific problems for a long time I ha...	Brandi28	4	362	Dec 10, 2012 by Breakingfree
	tonight im ready to quit ! (Preview) im not sure if Im learning to cope or letting things get so out of hand I quit... I keep putting off seeing an attorney .. for money reasons and medical (some medical tests have come back bad on me) I will lose ins when divorce is final... But whats better die from cancer with sanity or live with total insani...	sweeetr	5	419	Dec 10, 2012 by Lyne
	Too late? (Preview) Changes and things that I have wanted to see are starting to happen and I have conflicting feelings about them. I definitely need some feedback. My AH of 26 years that I have been separated from since August has finally started seeing a psychiatrist, regularly attending AA meetings and even got a s...	WornOutMrsFixIt	4	658	Dec 10, 2012 by Jen
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETINGS DEC 10 & 17 (Preview) MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETINGS DEC 10 & 17 I am unable to chair the Monday morning Al-Anon meetings for December 10 & December 17. Hoping someone will be able to step-up and chair those meetings on my behalf. Thanks Shimo (aka Jeri)	shimo	1	298	Dec 10, 2012 by Overcome
	My exAH is so sick and just sunk further...... (Preview) He was coming into town tomorrow afternoon to do Christmas shopping and was going to stay at a local hotel and take the girls swimming. We talked on the phone and I even invited him over for lunch with us after we went to church, he said yes. Later conversation he said he wanted to hang out with me when I got d...	Breakingfree	6	410	Dec 10, 2012 by Jerry F
	Left Overs :/ (Preview) Well, this is a laugh at myself moment .. LOL .. it speaks volumes about how badly I allowed another person to treat me and now this is the norm for them. This is my part, now I'm asking for a change in this and it's been interesting to say the least. As I have already shared I am having zero contact if it is no...	Pushka	9	397	Dec 10, 2012 by Jerry F
	Trying to move forward (Preview) Just needed to be here today. I have been still working my program with face to face meetings (2/week) but I feel I will need more support over the next months. I am going to end my marriage to the AH, who has now been struggling with his recovery in his own apartment for 18 months. Nothing is moving forward...	sookie	8	438	Dec 9, 2012 by Jen
	Update on tonight I'm ready to quit .. Next morning (Preview) So I had to leave last night. I was on computer and his "chat sex live girl" popped on screen.And said welcome back guest360 ... pulled histrory and he had been talkinh and whatever sith her for at least A week He has never been one to cheat. I did the wrong thing. I went to bedroom Nd asked him abo...	sweeetr	4	451	Dec 9, 2012 by sweeetr
	Meeting recommendations for NYC help NYC recommendations Brooklyn travel advice meeting recommendations (Preview) Newcomer to the forum. First time back "home" to NYC where I lived for 7 years before moving out West and my life falling apart last Feb, started the program on Labor Day. Leading up to the trip I'm pretty much in the vigilance of the child of a diseased mother, afraid that when I leave here for m...	255	4	7751	Dec 9, 2012 by hotrod
	NEED A LAUGH! (Preview) I need a good laugh! does anyone have a clean joke or anything to get us laughing at these somewhat difficult times for some and a joy for others? I am not just thinking of myself but all of you who need a laugh! *Kathleen*	Hoot Nanny	8	269	Dec 9, 2012 by Jen
	Feeling so "done" with the E.R. .An angry, grim post. (Preview) Well, it's my qualifier's birthday and my mom took her to the E.R. again. Here's a question: how many times have you taken your alcoholic to the E.R.? Ten? Twenty? Thirty? Forty? Fifty? Sixty? I have lost track. When she drinks, she drinks suicidally. Then at some point a few days later, once she ha...	Sister34	8	467	Dec 9, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I just cried watching 'The Simpsons'. (program at work) (Preview) Hey Everyone, There was a time before al-anon that in order to cope with life and all of the alcoholic's problems I had taught myself to not feel anything. I was walking around numb inside because I was tired of feeling hurt. Over my time in Al-Anon, I have learned that it's ok and even necessary to feel. T...	slogan_jim	6	468	Dec 9, 2012 by Breakingfree
	It's so sad to hear him so lost (Preview) My son called and was talking off the wall. He was sober but his mind is lost and not thinking right. It's so sad to listen to him. He wants me to take his things.... No he wants me to take his things so I will help him. It's not going to happen. He is so lost and confused now and I pray he will come to grips wi...	Cathyinaz	11	547	Dec 9, 2012 by Cathyinaz
	family roles (Preview) Hi All, just been away on a family programme for families of drinkers and drugs users, WOW Had the privealage to learn so much and do lots of group therapy amazin. One of the work shops was on family roles. e.g caretaker, scape goat, lost child, hero there were many more. I was the caretaker I would neg...	Tracy	5	778	Dec 9, 2012 by one_moment
	How worried should I be? (Preview) This is the first time that I have visited or posted on a forum. In brief, my husband was a functioning alcoholic when we got together some 13 years ago and has had stints at AA which were initially very positive for us both. He started to have an issue about confidentiality and stopped going. He used to wa...	captain sensible	6	542	Dec 9, 2012 by maryjane
	Crying and not in control (Preview) Strong Cathy has just broken down and crying for having to say NO to my son. I did it but I am now freaking out and can't get it under control. He called about he is ******* if he is gets back to his place ( was in detox ) and is kicked out. I said nothing...just I'm sorry. All he's doing is complaining and...	Cathyinaz	15	500	Dec 8, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	Boundaries are in place (Preview) I finally set the boundaries with mother & father. Very painful and difficult and guilt-provoking to take care of ourselves sometimes. Things simply had to get to a place for me where (without anger) I just could not envision myself at Christmas this year with them or my brother. I just got tired o...	WorkingThroughIt	8	455	Dec 8, 2012 by glad lee
	my moms bday dinner and AH shows up arrogantly drinking/drunk (Preview) So my moms 72 bday. My daughter and her fiance my 7 yr old all meeting at small restaurant to eat. My AH showed up early. I get a phone call he has ordered appitizers for everyone (It was a nice idea but he doesnt even know what anyone wants .. one of his drinking signature moves.. ordering for ppl and then if i...	sweeetr	6	422	Dec 8, 2012 by Zimmy
	Surprise Surprise.... (Preview) abf was coming round with a curry and spend the night, he comes in and wanted me to watch a funny video on facebook, me, our son and him watched the video a couple of times (yeah it did make me chuckle) he kept saying you gotta watch it, you gotta watch it. I say to that "no i dont" and boom the atpmo...	Zimmy	5	472	Dec 8, 2012 by Zimmy
	Anniversary (Preview) Don't really have anyone to tell but I kind of had a anniversary on November 29th. I QUIT SMOKING 2 YEARS AND GOING STRONG Kind of proud of myself	Cathyinaz	5	217	Dec 8, 2012 by Cathyinaz
	are there "parents of alcoholics" alanon meetings? (Preview) hi all, does anyone know if they have alanon meetings specific to parents of alcoholics? or any good alanon approved literature on the subject? thanks, debbie	debhud	4	2869	Dec 8, 2012 by AlAnonDave
	Police just called, now what? (Preview) police just called and woke us up...my niece called them...she said a serial killer was after her...her mother gave the police our number( really? Why?). I told them she was an alcoholic, they thought she was mentally ill. How could her mother not have told them? They took her to jail to sober up...I pr...	Sarah325	7	448	Dec 8, 2012 by Jerry F
	ring around the rosie (Preview) So here I am on Friday night. I have spent the day discussing with my spouse, why we are not close, why we are not romantic, and why we just can't be happy. I told her she is in denial about her multiple addictions: drinking, gambling, eating, and lying. She only recognizes eating as one of her problems. I t...	Lyne	2	408	Dec 8, 2012 by hotrod
	Frustrated. Rough night with my kiddo. (Preview) I divorced my alcoholic ex-husband after 16 years, 3 rehabs and 1 suicide attempt. I had to let go and choose healthy. That said, we share a 12 year old child. A great girl. Smart, funny, compassionate and truly well behaved. My ex really wasn't there for her during our marriage and at the heart of i...	abbyalana	6	400	Dec 8, 2012 by Mattie
	Don't know what to expect (Preview) I have been with my husband for 12 years. He was an alcoholic before we got together. Throughout the years he began to be an unmanageable alcoholic. Meaning he no longer worked a real job. Only helped out family/farmers for money. Would sleep until 2-3pm everyday and stay up late. our youngest is 4 mo...	Juliann	6	398	Dec 7, 2012 by hdftby100
	Son in Hospital (Preview) Got a call from my son telling me is done and put himself into the hospital again. He has done this many times so we will see if he means it this time. He thought he could be put in a 30 day program but they told him no and will be sending him to detox only. He was shocked but I guess after many times going to th...	Cathyinaz	10	516	Dec 7, 2012 by Sarah325
	Not sure where to start or what to do (Preview) This is the first time I have visited this board and I am not sure where to start. I am married to a wonderful man, when we were married 4 years ago, of course I knew he had 2 adult daughters (at the time they were 19 and 21) The youngest lived with us, and she was in college, not a big deal I also have 3 children an...	slverdream	6	554	Dec 7, 2012 by Sarah325
	From I need help to Getting help (Preview) Hi again Well it's been two weeks now that I have not talked to my son and I'm letting go and letting God do the work. It's been the hardest thing I ever had to do. I feel so guilty I'm abandoning him still but attending Al-anon meetings and see my counselor now. I'm lost, heartbroken and sad knowing he...	Cathyinaz	4	423	Dec 7, 2012 by Sarah325
	The self-loathing new husband new marriage self-loathing husband alcohol issues self-abuse verbal abuse control (Preview) Hi. First post, first realization of a problem in my marriage, first marriage, first experience with a possible alcoholic. I'm 28 years old and have been married for just a little over a year. My husband and I met and moved in quickly together, but we dated 4 years before we got engaged. I apparently...	msblonde56	8	4371	Dec 7, 2012 by SuzanneSC
	New Awareness and a major Do'h moment .. (Preview) Sooo .. I have been thinking about this for the past few days and something I am going to give myself as a gift is getting through steps 4 and 5 before the next court date which actually is NOT the 17th .. I just found out yesterday that it's Jan 8th .. LOL .. I recently said this is like a canker sore that won't g...	Pushka	8	470	Dec 7, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Small or big victory... or both (Preview) Just wanted to share my experience last night. I had to work an extra shift at work (scheduled). While working, I thought to myself that the wife was probably at home drinking wine since I was not there. End to this story is this: When I got home she was in bed. I walked in the kitchen to get something to...	hdftby100	8	391	Dec 7, 2012 by tiredtonite
	VERY grateful for my program right now (Preview) My AH was in a fight tonight. He bowls on Wednesday nights, and usually gets home around 1:00. When I woke up at 2:15, he still wasn't here. He rolled in around 2:30, and told me all about the fight he was in with some guy from work (not a guy he actually works with...just a guy who works in a different area...	stephaniej	4	493	Dec 7, 2012 by Breakingfree
	New to online Al-Anon (Preview) I have just discovered this fabulous site. I have been a grateful Al-Anon member for around 8 months and although I have a lot to learn I have already learned so much. I know I am on a journey although I have recently resorted to my default mode which is being controlling and obsessive. I have hope though...	el-cee	3	266	Dec 7, 2012 by Breakingfree
	My program at work...you betch ya (Preview) Got that call from my son and I just let him talk about what he has started, done and will be doing. All good. I can only pray he will follow through. What I did.....which was very small for some but BIG BIG BIG for me. I had told him I would not be taking or picking him up from the hospitals or detox center a...	Cathyinaz	4	327	Dec 7, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Labelling oneself/expectations (share) (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of the worldwide fellowship of al-anon.Growing up in an alcoholic home, you see and experience things a certain way. A different way that doesnt promote a lot of hope, happiness or that wonderful things will ever or are meant to happen to you...	slogan_jim	1	342	Dec 6, 2012 by tortuga
	manipulative ex, children pawns? (Preview) Hi friends, I'm new to the board. I've been in Al-Anon for 2 years, separated from my now ex-husband for 2 years as well. Nutshell/back-story: I met my ex-husband 16 years ago at an AA dance. I was very young and only 6 months sober. He wasn't my type and I didn't feel any chemistry, but I was trying to "...	I-can-yeah	8	482	Dec 6, 2012 by I-can-yeah
	Prayers Please :) (Preview) I have court today and I am completely nervous in a good way I think, .. regardless of the outcome the kids and I really are going to be fine. I'm just so anxious to get in and get out and I have to wait ALL afternoon. Compound that with Mr Crazy Pants is soooo in town at the moment and I'm working on not engagi...	Pushka	8	366	Dec 6, 2012 by amills4294
	How do you get a sponsor??? (Preview) Ok so I found an Al-Anon group that I like I have attended four meetings there. I don't know how to ask someone to sponsor me. I really need a sponsor. I have grown and achieved about all I can on my own. Im stuck and starting to regress. I absolutly HATE!!!!! asking for help! I am a very proud and self suffici...	rellik	4	408	Dec 6, 2012 by canadianguy
	advice needed please! (Preview) ok so I got a call from my mom today. She was begging to come back to the house saying she has been living in her car. (its cold out so I worry about that) I really don't know what to do! I have mixed feelings about this.	z28lt1gurl	3	297	Dec 6, 2012 by z28lt1gurl
	Need ESH (Preview) Ah my mom, I love her with every ounce of my being. She is getting old, she is getting forgetful and a little cranky. I am extremely forgiving. There is an issue that's been coming up a LOT lately. Short background - she and her mother never talked between the time she was 30 and the time her mom died (abo...	AStrongerMe	5	341	Dec 6, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Holiday Struggles~Mixed with Triumph.... (Preview) Hello Family... Hope all are Finding your way to Peace this Holiday Season! I Know for Me the Holidays are always tough but I think Thanksgiving/Christmas for me is Usually the Toughest of them all... Most Know I Lost my Afather on Thanksgiving a Couple years back, and With Christmas Being my Birthday...	Jozie	2	438	Dec 5, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Scared (Preview) Its funny how you can go from one day being OK to the next SCARED. I missed a call from my son ( in detox ) and all of a sudden I'm scared to death of him or what he might say. Oh I didn't get a sponsor yet but will try tonight. I'm a big chicken lol Hugs Cathy	Cathyinaz	9	451	Dec 5, 2012 by Cathyinaz
	The drinking means more than me? (Preview) Hey folks. Just wanted to share my experience with this as I see so many folks struggling with their qualifiers and saying "He/She continues to choose the drinking over his/her family/marriage." This has been talked about many times on the board but some things are so baffling (like a...	pinkchip	8	591	Dec 5, 2012 by one_moment
	I feel guilty- for getting a gift... (Preview) I had been commenting to my wife about how nice the Kindle Fire was... lo and behold, one shows up in its poorly hidden packaging yesterday- Im having a hard time with it because every year I want to do something nice for my girls in Michigan, two have birthdays this month along with Christmas, and we sent...	AlAnonDave	8	591	Dec 5, 2012 by AlAnonDave
	I think it's time for me to talk and I'm happy i've found this message board (here's my story) (Preview) Hi everyone I'm going to take this moment to get these thoughts out and relieve my painful heart. I have experienced alcoholism in my life. I lost my adopted father when I was 13 yrs old to cirrhosis of the liver he was only 42. Then my brother who was my dads natural child has been suffering from it for ye...	maria12	5	2562	Dec 5, 2012 by I-can-yeah
	Hello! (Preview) Hi guys! I'm stuck home with a sick kid, sick self, and a brand new puppy who has lots of energy! My AH is out of town for work and I asked him to come back(which I've never done in our entire marriage) and he told me that he doesn't want to get sick because he has to be out of town again next week. Gee, thanks,...	ilovedogs	5	281	Dec 5, 2012 by Debilyn
	take it slow & easy! (Preview) Today is a perfect day to take it slow & easy. I find the quicker I move the more behinder I get. I am just going to have to really slow down. I am finding that I even have to slow down on here when I type. So, I guess you all "get" it. I am not busy just anxious sometimes. I need a breather. I need to...	Hoot Nanny	0	333	Dec 4, 2012 by Hoot Nanny
	Don't know what to do. (Preview) I'm brand new to the board. I don't have anyone to talk to. My husband is an alcoholic, but he is in denial. His way of thinking is that he doesn't drink every day, and he doesn't drink at home. Well, he drinks to get drunk. He can't just have a couple of beers. He drinks 12 or more. Recently, he was cha...	Annie1234	8	533	Dec 5, 2012 by maryjane
	Lifes changes (Preview) Last night my AH called for the first time since I moved out of our home 3 weeks ago. While the conversation was very hard to have and there was more fighting than I wanted there to be, when the first thing he said to me was asking about the divorce papers rather than asking how I was doing, I knew that I had ma...	cinders	6	428	Dec 5, 2012 by maryjane
	thank you (Preview) I just recently was blessed by finding this site. Although I am currently in a program, I feel all the extra understanding is huge in my ability to "live and let live". At this stage of my life I am unable to live one day at a time, so I'm living hour by hour and sometimes minute by minute. I guess a...	one_moment	6	227	Dec 5, 2012 by maryjane
	End of denial - my fiance is an alcoholic (Preview) Hi - I just found this board today and am looking for help for myself, not for my fiance. We've been together for two years and our wedding will be next August. I've spent the last year trying to convince myself that he just "likes to drink" or he "needs to relax". But after anoth...	mtk746	7	804	Dec 5, 2012 by scaredandconfused
	Protecting money? (Preview) So I hope this is appropriate for this forum. I'm just looking for some ideas. My husband is an alcoholic/adict. He's unemployed and doed not have is own savings or income. When he relapses he will steal my money. I cannot keep credit or debit cards because he will use them. Cash of course is easy to steal...	sassycat	9	524	Dec 5, 2012 by Pushka
	Should i get a therapist? (Preview) I'm an AA member, just started going to Al-Anon meetings because of lingering adult child issues I have yet to resolve and I do know AlAnon is for ACAs also. I'm debating getting a therapist to go over these issues because after all this time, I'm still not over a lot of it. The childhood issues can be so ov...	AlAnonDave	9	732	Dec 4, 2012 by Pushka
	It's the exAH's birthday tomorrow and...... (Preview) I feel like I should be baking him a cake or getting him a gift, it's what I did when I was seperated from him last year before the divorce was final. I know I won't and haven't, but what a true codependent I am. I have a program and I work it diligently, but for some reason his birthday coming is bringing me bac...	Breakingfree	4	302	Dec 4, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Gettin toes stepped on (Preview) I've been seeking guidance from HP Started reading getting them sober vol one Getting my toes stepped on so I know I'm getting a message He wants me to get. Sadness and frustration seem to be getting better and I'm finding myself more productive again as a parent, spouse and person ! To my MIP family t...	sweeetr	5	346	Dec 4, 2012 by sweeetr
	Off the topic...but please read...it's fun. (Preview) Today, December 4th, my little poodle is running against a kitty cat to win the day's Cat vs Dog competition. Please go to WCIU.com, click on the contests and give Looi your vote. Thanks. I am busy getting ready to have family for Christmas, and I am so excited. Trying to get everything done so the hou...	Diva	4	225	Dec 4, 2012 by hotrod
	Resolutions... plans and dreams... (Preview) Oh vey! We had our pre-Christmas domestic melt-down this week. Had our alanon meeting tonight and thankfully the home front was back in shape by then. Glad that the programme works for me day by day. Our group has a steady membership of five, with visitors sometimes. Our group was in recess fpr abo...	DavidG	3	548	Dec 4, 2012 by DavidG
	One Day at A Time Dec 4 (Preview) I loved this, when I first came to Al-Anon I kept wanting to know why, and this reading is so very true! Pg 339 "Some of us come to Al-Anon to find out why the alcoholic drinks. We're afraid it's because "he doesn't love me anymore" or because something we have doneor are doing is upsettin...	Jackie11	1	392	Dec 4, 2012 by Cathyinaz
	Time to talk the Truth about Relationship (Preview) I have been a reader of all the message board and decided it is time to share ESH and stop just being a receiver of all this support. I just went through a breakup with my A BF after a 3 year relationship. My story is my husband died 14 years ago and this was my 1st relationship after his death. He is the father...	Jackie Z	4	416	Dec 4, 2012 by Zimmy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.