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So sad- just sadness
(Preview)
Sitting on the couch with my son my ah and his a friend eating supper and watching a movie. Friend left son went to bed
And I realized. How sad this is. How sad that he keeps asking if I'm mad (I know he got off at 2 today and home at 5..then "worked" on boat til 7) he knows and I know what he does with h...
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sweeetr
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15
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478
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new and confused
(Preview)
OK, I am reading about working the programs, how do I do that? also how do I get a sponser and where do I get publications? I don't know if I am going to be able to get to F2F meetings. I was VERY sad to see that the closest one to me would be 2 hr round trip. Not good. Thanks all
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islandtime
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5
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325
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Agreed to meet alcoholic mother and now sat waiting 20 minutes late already.... annoyed with myself and her
(Preview)
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qwerty49
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11
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400
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Allow my alcoholic mother to come & stay with me in Cornwall?
(Preview)
Hi there, I am new to alanon, attended my first meeting last night, a very emotional one at that with some amazing supportive people with such touching stories. I am in the process of moving to Cornwall on my own. I'm wondering if it would be enabling my alcoholic mother to allow her to come over and stay a...
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qwerty49
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7
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559
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Finding surrender and acceptance really hard
(Preview)
Hi all, I am new to this forum, but not to Al-Anon. Well, I still feel like a babe in the woods, as I've only been in the program since January and am still in the middle of Step 1! I have a sponsor, who I've met with twice. I've called one of the members between meetings. I am pretty fearful of commitments...
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irukan
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16
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714
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I got bread from the hardware store!
(Preview)
Oh dear. I've been really off this last week, little outbursts, anger, tears, anxiety, you name it. Positive mantras, prayer, meetings, I've been trying to stay on top of it but hopelessness has sort of been taking over. Today I just felt awful. I argued with the A last night, he was being cruel and I sta...
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Melly1248
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14
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607
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Just letting things out a little.
(Preview)
I believe the prayers and good energy you all sent helped me. Is sorta up, and down. It seems so insane to be where some of us are, who have no one. I don't believe we deserve it. Am not kidding when I say, I have not had a conversation with anyone for so many weeks. Have no one to talk about this horrible thing t...
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Debilyn
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4
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341
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Not sure how to react!
(Preview)
So AH has been sober for three days, and today out iof nowhere he tells me he read a post i posted online at another message board, it was something stupid, like a 'what turns u on'. well, he really took it to heart even though i wasn't making it personal for me, just a general B session between me and my messa...
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RandomPerson
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6
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431
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This is probably why I take her nonsense
(Preview)
Everyone this is Janet....My youngest grandchild...The last of em....my only girl grandbaby..I have 4 lovely grandsons but this is my princess......I went over daughter #2's house tonight b/c she really needed her computer repaired and so after a struggle I fixed it....D#2 was all lovey and kiss...
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neshema2
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7
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278
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Spoke with my dad
(Preview)
Hey Everyone, I called my dad tonight after my meeting. He was drunk and out somewhere. It sounded way to loud to be a bar. Almost like he was at a store or a mall or something. This was around 9:30pm. Either way that is here nor there. He said he's talking to his work tomorrow and that if he wants to go to a famo...
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slogan_jim
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5
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372
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Not sure if it's for me
(Preview)
This new job in the rehab has been taxing in all sort of ways. It is giving me crazy dreams. I am having a harder time detaching. Adults' problems seem more dramatic and serious. But I am not fooling myself. I am working with a very needy, entitled, and demanding population and they are inpatient me...
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pinkchip
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23
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617
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coming here to write, rather than answering his calls and mails...plz support me keeping grounded.
(Preview)
so after 1 week silence, where I managed to stay head over water, and stay calm, with my friends around that came luckily to visit from abroad.... I stayed away from exABF, and he also stayed silent, which made us probably feel safe after the events last Tuesday, were he hit me out of a anxiety attack. So t...
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tortuga
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7
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419
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living with a recovering alcoholic and drug user
(Preview)
I live with a recovering drug/ alcoholic. He is sober for 18 years and yet his personality is very short and explosive. He has episodes of anger and we have several screaming matches a week. They usually occur on the weekends. It is like he has two personalities. He is very needy and controlling. I love h...
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deborah ann
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8
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1407
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Painful detachment text message to my AM
(Preview)
Good morning. Feeling emotional this morning as I've communicated with my AM & wondering if it was a mistake. Started attended alanon & realized i no longer can deal with mums alcoholism. She is approaching end stage Hep/Liver disease. Not hospitalized but struggling to breathe, needing...
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qwerty49
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11
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421
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At a loss
(Preview)
I'm having a really hard time trying to understand what I'm doing in my relationship. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic, he's been sober for 7 years. Recently he broke his foot and had to go on disability so he can't work or ride his motorcycle. At least once a week he'll call me and list a ton of re...
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Squeak
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12
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378
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Just need support
(Preview)
I have been online here for a few months, primarily reading posts and attending the online meetings when I can. I feel like I'm grabbing ahold of al-anon and it's helped me with my anger towards my AH. But I keep getting broadsided. And I don't know if it's because I"m naive, in denial, or just plain...
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ryanhearted
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8
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463
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keeper of the secret
(Preview)
Another brilliant realization has just popped into my mind. Asside from every other aspect of living with my AH. I have taken on the extra burden of keeping all this disfunction under wraps. Most people think I really have it made, living the life, married to a great guy. Oh how lucky I am LOL! I am lucky...
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islandtime
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14
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446
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AD Continues to Isolate
(Preview)
My AD has broken off all communication from our family (except with her older sister) since my AH's memorial service this past January. Her twin sister, who is getting married in October, tried one last desperate attempt to make contact with her this past weekend. She and her fiancee visited the bar a...
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Green Eyes
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8
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2716
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bunch of looney people
(Preview)
I was thinking today (have alot of time to reflect while on vacation and don't have to think about work!) that if I had had never been involved with addicted spouses, and went on this message board, I would think all of you (and reading my own posts) were a bunch of cult, crazy people who need to get a life. ...
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Lyne
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8
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1844
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What the disease says ..
(Preview)
PP reminded me of what I keep saying to myself and needed the reminder .. I believe what I see not what I hear. The actions and words don't match there will be no follow through. Over the weekend had a very weird experience well a couple .. STBAX's mental health is completely off the charts bad. The situ...
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Pushka
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2
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285
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Worried about my AA's health
(Preview)
My darling husband just celebrated his one year birthday sober. I sort of felt that we caught his alcoholism early, because though he had been drinking heavily for about 4 years, it had only bothered me or him for a short time. It hadn't really damaged our relationship much (we have been a couple for 12 y...
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Deborah_
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4
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377
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dealing with my mother
(Preview)
In the very short time I have been on here, a dam has opened and a lot of crap has been flowing out, with it have come some insites that for some reason I never saw. First I never noticed that I am affected by A in 4 different directions... 1 my AH... 2 my mentally ill A son,...3 my AD,... and finally mommy...
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islandtime
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4
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350
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feeling overwhelmed
(Preview)
well, school starts tomorrow...I start teaching next week. I have to teach an extra class (that makes 4 in all) to make ends meet...which means I'll be working 60 hours a week between classes, office hours, committee work, and grading... my dishwasher is broken...so now I have to find the time to do th...
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rehprof
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8
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507
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Please explain to me quality time!?
(Preview)
I'm not understanding what my purpose here is. I know I'm sick but sick from what the alcoholic or the control manipulating ways or sick of putting up with the poor attitude and negativity that I am getting from my A ? One week I get gifts the next week the cops are at my house and I'm not even home the neighbo...
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Ms co-dependent
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7
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449
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Prayers requested
(Preview)
Tonight I am asking for those who pray and don't mind an extra prayer, to keep me and my ex Abf in there. His name is T. We broke up in July due to his drinking and unpredictable behavior. In the last 2 months, his emotions have gone from desperation and suicidal sadness to anger and just complete exhaustio...
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giraffe13
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10
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351
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Family Tree
(Preview)
I came to this board and to alanon thinking there was just one A in my life that needed fixing, my husband. Lol. I had a lot to learn.
My first face to face meeting turned out to be an adult child group. When I started to lose some of the panic in my daily life, I started listening to others share about their e...
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ParisMemories
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6
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359
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more pics.
(Preview)
Augie my pet farm pig has decided he has to get in my lap....He leans on me, slides down and pins me by my feet! geez Prudi my potted pig always sleeps with me now, under the covers of course. Be nice in winter. She is so soft and warm. Glory loves Prudie, if she things pru is in danger she starts freaking, runn...
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Debilyn
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4
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423
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11th STEP
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t54781117/step-11-alanon/
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hotrod
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0
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386
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GGGGGRRRRRR!
(Preview)
I wanted all summer to have a camping trip with my whole family... I finally managed to get them all together for Saturday sleeplover night at a campground. It was only for one night, but I will take what I can get. I was so excited. I love when my kids and grand kids can all be together!!! I love them all SO...
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Sweet Stanley
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10
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485
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eden pictures
(Preview)
You can guess who I sent that voices one to. send him the pic of Glory horses butt and said hey here is a picture of you. Taylor was in with me helping me make everyone popcorn. Neat bull snake and alligator lizard mac caught. my old potted pig Dickens not sure what else. forgot already.....
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Debilyn
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2
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404
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Trouble trusting my own feelings!
(Preview)
Hi everyone, Recently I've had an instance where one of al-anon's 20 questions for adult-children can apply. "Do you mis-trust your own feelings and the feelings expressed by others?" I play recreationally in a sports league. I joined this league a few months ago, met some guys and they a...
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slogan_jim
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4
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525
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Great experience tonight
(Preview)
So I went to a f2f meeting and my sister shows up, she said she wanted to come but never had a schedule for it. But tonight she showed up with a open mind to alanon. She is a recovering drug addict and she always attended NA. I am so happy she went, she got something out of it as well as I did too and for me I am not a b...
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Tiff5484
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6
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183
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.3 sec
(Preview)
I dont get how someone can go from "fine" to "messed up" in .3 seconds... and claiming AH didnt do anything, just got tired and fell asleep. I know the difference between tired and messed up, also know the difference between fell asleep and passing in and out. I'm like .... OK,.j...
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sweeetr
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4
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192
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What do you do it you don't believe in a HP?
(Preview)
I used to believe in God, I attended church for a large part of my life and then I took a look at the world. At all the cruelty done in the name of religion. At all the ignorance and bigotry in my own church while they talked 'the talk'. And I have prayed and prayed so long and hard for the last several years to no...
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deacon
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11
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590
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a day of reflection...
(Preview)
Today is a good day but I seem to want to go into the past too much. Not working the one day at a time slogan very well. I have a lot of old emails I sent to my parents before they died. Until today, I didn't know how to sort them. I am just trying to make some sense out of life. These days my mom is not the only one on m...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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262
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notice self-improvement
(Preview)
Hi all- A spouse and I are away. She is having difficulty walking. Of course I've been telling her for years that she is going to loose her mobility but of course she never listened and of course I should have been minding my own business! (Her weight is a huge problem and she admits the drinking she did...
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Lyne
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6
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254
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Continuation of Powerless and Hopeless
(Preview)
I've read and re-read that thread and it, the responses are confidence builders. Some of the responses are so very near what and how I learned in program and others are changes in perception while I'm looking at the same picture...different angle. My wise elder Sponsor use to work that one with m...
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Jerry F
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4
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452
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how did I end up here?
(Preview)
I met my ex ABF this week. I didn't consider it to be a bad move, because I trusted myself. Now please don't tell me, you should have, you shouldn't have, you are playing the victim, you are this , you are that. i am working my program. I am trying to take care of myself. I do mistakes, and I know better after th...
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tortuga
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13
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464
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My feelings are taking over my logic...
(Preview)
I just started my recovery. I *engaged* in my first alanon meeting as well as a Coda meeting a few days ago. I thought I had been doing ok..I left 2 months ago. I realize now that my AH getting sober (thank god for him) is NOT the solution to my problems. I am my solution to my problems...er, well I should say m...
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sadsusie
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8
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428
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action versus re-action
(Preview)
Today I woke up with this motivation. Got tired of waiting, passively, depending on other people's moods or actions.I reclaim my life, I am the director, and I also decide how I feel. Today I want to move on, away from that chaotic past, close and far,searching for truer answers. It's a bit scary , but I...
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tortuga
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3
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329
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Know matter what I do
(Preview)
Hi every one , I'm not having a good 1/2 right now .. Today was good I went to get my hair cut and color I needed.. Well I made the wrong choice! The color is my blond but my cut is chic and sassy , I had no choice but to have it cut short my ends were dead frizzie , looked bad , mistake number 2 comming home looking li...
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Ms co-dependent
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20
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515
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POWERFUL ENLIGHTMENT!
(Preview)
Hi everyone :) I wanted to share some enlightenment. I have been reading "stop walking on eggshells" It is an amazing book. It draws so much of what I have been going through with my SO. Not only that is also allows me to be honest with myself (dealing with past traumatic events). It has draw...
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InspiredPhotography
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2
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372
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Anxiety about my dad/me.
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Over the last couple of days, since hearing of my dad's second dui, I have a whole mix of emotions. Anger, resentment, relief....but a new one has emerged, anxiety. Anxiety over the prospect of having to potentially (key word), e...
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slogan_jim
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7
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362
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first time on here
(Preview)
been married to a AH for over 40 years. why ??don't ask me. I feel like he has sucked the sole out of me. He brings the worst out of me. I am completely alone, I have no one. A husband is supposed to be your friend, and have your back. He is supposed to be your companion. I get nothing from him.I have needs , non...
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islandtime
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15
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407
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going to a therapist
(Preview)
A couple of years ago, I dragged the AH to get marriage counceling, what a joke that was. The huge elephant in the room was that he was an AH. I danced all around it without ever coming out and saying it . Didn't want to offend him LOL!! After a few sessions, she decided what our plan of action should be........
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islandtime
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6
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448
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A Year Later
(Preview)
It is amazing when the writing is on the wall. I came to the site exactly a year ago close to this time. Infact I posted close to my birthday. Guess what? The same things keep happening. It is almost like repeat seeing things. My SO are now living in different cities, different places and things haven...
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InspiredPhotography
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6
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295
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RAH moving forward with divorce, I'm having a hard time letting go
(Preview)
I'm new on this board. A little background ... I have been attending Al Anon meetings for 18 months and I have a sponsor. Four months ago my RAH served me separation papers - we have been married for 17 years and have a 14 yr old daughter. At first he wanted a financial separation but for the past 3 month...
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cagirl
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6
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530
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What about mental illness
(Preview)
I haven't been on here in awhile and am glad to be back :) My brother is an addict (for years now...hes 24) and I've been able to detach with love and pray for him with the help of alanon. He's been in and out of rehabs and homeless for awhile as well. He is currently sober 2 months, completed inpatient and...
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Sam813
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6
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890
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Just let me go
(Preview)
I'm so sad I just can't stand this anymore. My son asked me if he could wash some clothes....I said OK. As I was helping him put them in the washer a bottle of water fell out. I told him I would put it in the refrig. He left, I was thirsty, went to refrigerator got the bottle of water, opened it and took a big...
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Cathyinaz
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27
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603
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New here, need advice and an ear.
(Preview)
I've been reading this board for about three months now, not really sure how to 'step in' to any conversations. I'd like to start in by saying that I read a lot of posts on here and think "OMG! MY AH DOES THAT!!". It's been nice to know that I'm not the only one who is going through this. - not nice t...
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RandomPerson
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18
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3495
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Wisdom for the Modern World
(Preview)
Everyone born in this world has a unique role that only he or she can fulfill. Were this not the case, we would not be here. The Universe never acts without cause, everything invariably has a reason for being. Even the weeds people love to loathe serve a purpose. -- Edited by Bettina on Sunday 25th of...
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Bettina
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3
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311
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Powerless vs Hopeless...
(Preview)
was the topic at my face to face "Wednesday Night Turning Point AFG" meeting. One of our elders was looking for the feedback as she could not find anything in the index on "Hopeless" so she did what we all should do...brought it to a meeting and asked the fellowship. It turned o...
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Jerry F
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15
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1210
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slap upside the head
(Preview)
Hi-A spouse and I are away. I've put my guard down 1/100th since she has joined recovery and admitted to me she has a drinking problem and will not be drinking. This was a miracle and great news to me (and for her). So we are driving to our destination and pass a winery. She said, let's go-that would be f...
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Lyne
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7
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457
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visit went better
(Preview)
The visit went better this time. My mom is still a little bit the same but she is coming down. It is crazy though that I can't bring anything into the hospital just basically myself. I brought her 3 cards so far. Another crazy thing: I can't read to her because I can't bring my reading glasses into the hospi...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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157
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Drinking from the well
(Preview)
I just went outside again to the peace of the natural that exists beyond my garage door. I noticed a hummingbird flying close to a red, shiny butterfly birdfeeder that hangs empty on a shepherd's hook. It is the second time I've noticed one there. I realized they or it is attracted to the red color tha...
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grateful2be
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9
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506
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Touched by the amazing loving people on here... I didn't know there were people still left in the world that were......
(Preview)
well, just kind, supportive & loving, wanting nothing in return. Just wanted to say thank you. & it's given me new hope
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qwerty49
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9
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417
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On the lighter side
(Preview)
I wanted to share this little amusing story. Since the A passed lots of memories are surfacing, sad ones, funny ones. Today I was sharing and made a comment how A's can be clever and wanted to share a laugh, some may think its funny, some may not, but I find that being with the alcoholic all those years, I co...
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Bettina
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6
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301
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My daughter just let me have it
(Preview)
My older DD dislikes her AD my AH so very much. Of course it is due to the drinking, or who he is when he drinks. I've talked often to both of my daughters about this, so much so that they can not stand anything that creates a person to be under the influence. Although I don't know much about Al anon, I know en...
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hisimage
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5
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404
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new on here
(Preview)
My mother is Alcholic and blames me for her problems i moved 12 hours away and she is still making my life miserable i recently went for a visit and found out she is telling lies to friends and family about me and ruined my vaction with my husband and 3 small kids I have not done anything or asked her for any...
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missy1234
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7
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337
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Anger.
(Preview)
There's been so much posted in the last few days about anger, resentment, detachment, all so totally relevant to me right now. And just checking in, reading through the posts a couple of times a day has helped me stay in control, even though I've been feeling low, angry and kinda all over the place. I do...
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Melly1248
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4
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399
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