Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

An AA speaker at an Al-anon meeting gave the members this unusual insight from the other side of the fence: The non-alcoholic in the family doesn't seem to realize that the alcoholic is in a terribly vulnerable position. He must be constantly on guard, because he knows. deep down inside, how much trou...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I feel a little stuck in this limbo state. I left home 77 days ago, AH has been sober 30 days. Our marriage was full of verbal abuse (when drunk) and alot of control. I never felt likeI could have friends etc. Now that he is sober, i would like to get to know him again...test the waters so to speak. I realize t...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

It's humbling for me to admit. I have a Great Spiritual recovery with tons of wisdom thanks to God and the members of alanon and yet I lack the power (wisdom) to know how to lighten up and move forward in my thinking. Try as I might, I cannot shake the place I am in .. Funniest way to put it is I feel like I have...

ConcernedMomma · ConcernedMomma

Hi, I am a 40 year old mother of two teenage boys. This December I will be married to my husband 20 years and while we originally were planning to renew our vows, he is now incarcerated instead. Over the course of our entire marriage, he has struggled w/ drug addiction and been in and out of jail several t...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

The longer I'm out of my last relationship of 12 to 13 years .. the more I'm able to see clearer .. It was so Emotionally toxic .. for us both really in spite of the fact this person was a drug addict .. all I really did was reinforce behaviors he uses to forget in the first place .. at least one of the reasons my w...

ConcernedMomma · ConcernedMomma

I have a question for everyone. How do you de-tach without feeling cold and alone? I am new at this but feel like de-taching is my way of saying "I don't care what you do any more". To me that feels like I am shutting a part of myself off from my spouse and makes me feel more alone. What am I missing...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I just posted on the addict but I want to expand .. I went to a face to face meeting a couple weeks back and the chair was sharing the confusion his her confusion with my will vs Gods will. I have been kicking it around in the back of my mind ever since .. I hear myself often saying God not my will but yours be don...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I emailed him to say hi and hoped his move went well. He did email me back and said his dad was too sick and chewed him out because my son didn't have any help now. He also said his landlord is on his arse. Also he was more banged up since his last bike accident. He is bleeding everywhere..cut up but is doe...

Debilyn · Debilyn

As I was waking up this morn to 16 dogs and puppies barking.....I went to look out to the pond thinking, ok today I can choose how I feel. I choose happy. Then my analytical mind says, well happy is just a word, what is happy? gads. But I feel better today. Today I named puppy day. First I fed everyone so the...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello, It's been some time since I've been here. I have been working hard on my own recovery, and have come a long way. I decided I was finally able to begin to date, and pursue a relationship after two years of being single. I met a man, who seems to be very nice, sincere, honest and humble. We spent the...

neshema2 · neshema2

WEll, I think I posted about a month ago that my A brother was AWOL for a while and I think I mentioned the other day that he was still AWOL.....I was right...he went on another bender....bad one this time...he got caught driving drunk....The police officer was touched by his honesty so he let him get his...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi All-I learn new things everyday. While I was away and had time with my newly recovering A, it was easier to be grounded and focused and serene. We've been home two days and with the mail, messages, unpacking, calls to make, laundry, etc., I find some of my stinking thinking creeping in, like too con...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning Today is starting out really bad. I'm worried and scared. I have not heard anything from my son. Don't know if he got his furniture moved, still at the ranch or what is happening. I don't want to contact him in fear what I might find out. I know I am making myself miserable by doing this so...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Last night me and my husband went to a meeting that had aa and al Alon / my I felt like I was walking into a storm , we were talking about step 8. Open up the meeting with a greeting and what side of the street we were on . First person to talk was from Aa told there story my husband sat there and smiled felt comfort...

Gaby · Gaby

I am so angry at myself.. I did not go visit my son today at his recovery program for church after I told him yesterday I would.. I made a mistake and now I feel guilty.. I too have my demons to fight. I feel like I'm taking many steps backwards.. I pray my son will forgive me. I won't be able to go see next week du...

neshema2 · neshema2

HAPPY LABOR DAY to everyone May fall offer you all not only the cooler temps and teh beautiful foliage turning brilliant colors, but may upcoming new season offer you all proof of how much you have grown in the program... I know after going AWOL I had to work to get me back on track , but I am doing it...that...

neshema2 · neshema2

I had to send a rebuking text to get her to all me at FIVE PM......I basically told her that I did not expect her to keep her word, and didn't care anymore, but HER HP may care about her treating her mom this way, and so therefore, I was turning her over to HER God for lessons she needs to learn soon as I hit the se...

Green-Eyed-Leopardes · Green-Eyed-Leopardes

As I go through my Step 4 book I have come across the section in my work book titled Attitudes. As I answer these questions I often answer on both sides of the equation. Example: Am I half glass full or empty kind of person. In all honesty I am a bit of booth. It really depends on my mood, the place I am at and the...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Her internet is down, won't be able to make the business meeting tonight

oldergal · oldergal

The Sun came up without you thinking about it. Forget your problems just for today, laugh, put a smile on your face and be silly. Get a little work done mental and physical. Then put your work aside and enjoy even if its only for a few minutes....your good enough, your house is clean enough, the garage is c...

Tasha · Tasha

This might be better suited on the adult child board - however, because my father is still an active alcoholic, I'm bringing it here. Sorry if it's out of place. I know you guys can take it : ) So - this weekend is my fathers birthday. He will be 66. He can't drink a whole lot these days - I suspect he does i...

Barbara 22 · Barbara 22

I am relatively new to this. I have been to a few meetings, but tend to be a self learner/self healer (or at least I let myself believe that). We have been married for 27 years. We have been separated since May, when I realized that some things needed to be shaken up. He lied all summer, said he was not drinki...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Reading your communications and telling your stories is affirming...very. I just read some shares which included the discription of the alcoholic "pushing buttons" and I was reminded of early Al-Anon where my learning was aided by my ability to see metaphors...pictures of what eve...

Pushka · Pushka

I was scared in court last week (not like the last time though), as I'm going pro se at the moment .. I will continue to do so until I find it necessary to retain an atty, based upon the two atty's I have spoken to my divorce atty as well they have both indicated that there are things I can do through the divor...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes I feel like Murphy's Law! If something could go wrong it will! I am trying to stay sane through all the madness in my life. I am going to visit my mom once again in the hospital. I really don't feel like doing it but I know I should. So, tomorrow I am going to take advantage of the time spent up there s...

NSBSANDY · NSBSANDY

No contact w son for almost 1 yr after I stopped enabling. He showed up this week and said he was done drinking, didn't want to die. Got in detox 7 day program, medical detox, will be out soon and coming "home" . Scared I don't know how to prepare or what to do? Know he has to do the AA program himse...

kn1228 · kn1228

Hello all, I am new here and thought I would introduce myself. I have been attending f2f meetings here for a few months but my A's work schedule is becoming more that hectic so I have been looking for an online community that I can come too since its hard to get to meetings when you have a youngin' A is curren...

Charlotte · Charlotte

I have learned, and understand the benefits of detaching from my AH, and am working on that, (I'm a work in progress for sure). But, and for various reasons including his drinking over the years, I have no contact with my family and no close friendships, so now that I have detached from him I feel utterl...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been visiting this site for exactly 6 years tomorrow! I noticed that my first post was August 31 2007! I just thought I would mention that. Kathleen

John · John

I recently replied to someones post about minimizing their abuse, and I attached a graphic chart of the abuse cycle to. Does any one know where that post is? I really would like to share it with someone asap. John

Sage · Sage

Hi. I'm sure there are many topics on this...But I just need some guidance. In March 2012 I met this guy in recovery. He didn't appeal to me at all at first, it wasn't until I got to know him that I started liking him. Well he didn't want a relationship then due to his living situation and I was fine with that b...

hope4ever · hope4ever

I am just going to be raw with this post and pour my heart out. I have deep sadness and anxiety almost every day of my life. I do have a HP but I often feel like I need to feel him more and I feel alone. I am a very sensitive being here on this earth and I feel everything...I feel peoples emotions, anger, sadne...

mm830 · mm830

Hi There: I have been reading on this board for about a month and have been practicing detachment or trying to with my ASO getting mad because I am behaving so differently. Kind of in my own way, I am sure I haven't got the detachment with love but I have been pulling away to take care of my own well being bec...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi all I have been working really hard accepting ( TRULY accepting ) my son for what he is. To love him and let him be. With meetings and help I am slowly accepting and not projecting the future for my son. It's been sad at times and good at times. I will continue to move forward one day at a time...... I w...

Gaby · Gaby

Hi all most of you know my situation about my young son. He is currently in active Christian Base Recovery Program. He says he finally found a program that he belongs too. He is about 4 hours away ( which is a good thing ) it saddens me because all I can think is he is passing me by.. I have not worked my program...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Starting out the day with taking care of me. Turning the focus off the a's and keeping it on me....

irukan · irukan

I've been down this road before, but I could really use some help thinking this part through. What is my next right action, since all I can control is me? I quit drinking on January 1, 2012, but my drinking buddy, my AH, did not. As I am still in our marriage, I need a strategy I am comfortable with regard...

tortuga · tortuga

posting again, because I feel the urge to respond to his email again...to reach out to the nice guy in him again. Still not sure if this is the right thing to do...but I also know I haven't been healthy and have let myself abuse too much, so for the moment I let other people guide me, friends who love me and r...

raggedyann · raggedyann

I'm new to this forum, so I'm not entirely sure if this is in the right spot, but here I go (I apologize in advance for the length): I am currently 18, and have been estranged from my father for 7 years now. He was a violent, abusive alcoholic who beat my mother and forced my mother, my older brother, and me to...

Lyne · Lyne

Need some help from you all with communicating with my A. We are on a trip which we have taken for the last 20 yrs. It involves alot of walking. She is at a life-threatening weight. Some of this occurred due to her excessive drinking. I have commented to her, especially last night, about her losing h...

LeeMarie · LeeMarie

My AH left our home after I filed a court order to force him out. He had 1 month to make arrangements but he stormed off one night and just never came back. We didn't know where is was until my kids friends (my kids are all mid - late teens) informed us they saw him living in his car in a parking lot in our smal...

joker · joker

Since my last posting, I had the alcoholic b/f that was abusing me to extreme, arrested! Yes, by the grace of god, I was believed by the police and now he sits in jail. The court is going by indictment, meaning over 2 years in jail if found guilty. He has pleasd NG. Today I finished my victim impact s...

Jerry F · Jerry F

One day at a time...My wife announced that her son J called to say hello and to announce that he now has 24 years clean and sober and that is sooooo cool to hear and remember. When she and I first got together...I went over to her home for some mexican food (she does mexican like God likes it and therefore...

sweeetr · sweeetr

Sitting on the couch with my son my ah and his a friend eating supper and watching a movie. Friend left son went to bed And I realized. How sad this is. How sad that he keeps asking if I'm mad (I know he got off at 2 today and home at 5..then "worked" on boat til 7) he knows and I know what he does with h...

islandtime · islandtime

OK, I am reading about working the programs, how do I do that? also how do I get a sponser and where do I get publications? I don't know if I am going to be able to get to F2F meetings. I was VERY sad to see that the closest one to me would be 2 hr round trip. Not good. Thanks all

qwerty49 · qwerty49

Shall i just leave...

qwerty49 · qwerty49

Hi there, I am new to alanon, attended my first meeting last night, a very emotional one at that with some amazing supportive people with such touching stories. I am in the process of moving to Cornwall on my own. I'm wondering if it would be enabling my alcoholic mother to allow her to come over and stay a...

irukan · irukan

Hi all, I am new to this forum, but not to Al-Anon. Well, I still feel like a babe in the woods, as I've only been in the program since January and am still in the middle of Step 1! I have a sponsor, who I've met with twice. I've called one of the members between meetings. I am pretty fearful of commitments...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Oh dear. I've been really off this last week, little outbursts, anger, tears, anxiety, you name it. Positive mantras, prayer, meetings, I've been trying to stay on top of it but hopelessness has sort of been taking over. Today I just felt awful. I argued with the A last night, he was being cruel and I sta...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I believe the prayers and good energy you all sent helped me. Is sorta up, and down. It seems so insane to be where some of us are, who have no one. I don't believe we deserve it. Am not kidding when I say, I have not had a conversation with anyone for so many weeks. Have no one to talk about this horrible thing t...

RandomPerson · RandomPerson

So AH has been sober for three days, and today out iof nowhere he tells me he read a post i posted online at another message board, it was something stupid, like a 'what turns u on'. well, he really took it to heart even though i wasn't making it personal for me, just a general B session between me and my messa...

neshema2 · neshema2

Everyone this is Janet....My youngest grandchild...The last of em....my only girl grandbaby..I have 4 lovely grandsons but this is my princess......I went over daughter #2's house tonight b/c she really needed her computer repaired and so after a struggle I fixed it....D#2 was all lovey and kiss...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey Everyone, I called my dad tonight after my meeting. He was drunk and out somewhere. It sounded way to loud to be a bar. Almost like he was at a store or a mall or something. This was around 9:30pm. Either way that is here nor there. He said he's talking to his work tomorrow and that if he wants to go to a famo...

pinkchip · pinkchip

This new job in the rehab has been taxing in all sort of ways. It is giving me crazy dreams. I am having a harder time detaching. Adults' problems seem more dramatic and serious. But I am not fooling myself. I am working with a very needy, entitled, and demanding population and they are inpatient me...

tortuga · tortuga

so after 1 week silence, where I managed to stay head over water, and stay calm, with my friends around that came luckily to visit from abroad.... I stayed away from exABF, and he also stayed silent, which made us probably feel safe after the events last Tuesday, were he hit me out of a anxiety attack. So t...

deborah ann · deborah ann

I live with a recovering drug/ alcoholic. He is sober for 18 years and yet his personality is very short and explosive. He has episodes of anger and we have several screaming matches a week. They usually occur on the weekends. It is like he has two personalities. He is very needy and controlling. I love h...

qwerty49 · qwerty49

Good morning. Feeling emotional this morning as I've communicated with my AM & wondering if it was a mistake. Started attended alanon & realized i no longer can deal with mums alcoholism. She is approaching end stage Hep/Liver disease. Not hospitalized but struggling to breathe, needing...

Squeak · Squeak

I'm having a really hard time trying to understand what I'm doing in my relationship. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic, he's been sober for 7 years. Recently he broke his foot and had to go on disability so he can't work or ride his motorcycle. At least once a week he'll call me and list a ton of re...

ryanhearted · ryanhearted

I have been online here for a few months, primarily reading posts and attending the online meetings when I can. I feel like I'm grabbing ahold of al-anon and it's helped me with my anger towards my AH. But I keep getting broadsided. And I don't know if it's because I"m naive, in denial, or just plain...

islandtime · islandtime

Another brilliant realization has just popped into my mind. Asside from every other aspect of living with my AH. I have taken on the extra burden of keeping all this disfunction under wraps. Most people think I really have it made, living the life, married to a great guy. Oh how lucky I am LOL! I am lucky...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ODAT page 187 (Preview) An AA speaker at an Al-anon meeting gave the members this unusual insight from the other side of the fence: The non-alcoholic in the family doesn't seem to realize that the alcoholic is in a terribly vulnerable position. He must be constantly on guard, because he knows. deep down inside, how much trou...	Cathyinaz	17	666	Sep 4, 2013 by cwya
	Trying to learn to compromise with a recovering AH (Preview) I feel a little stuck in this limbo state. I left home 77 days ago, AH has been sober 30 days. Our marriage was full of verbal abuse (when drunk) and alot of control. I never felt likeI could have friends etc. Now that he is sober, i would like to get to know him again...test the waters so to speak. I realize t...	sadsusie	13	602	Sep 4, 2013 by hisimage
	Too serious (Preview) It's humbling for me to admit. I have a Great Spiritual recovery with tons of wisdom thanks to God and the members of alanon and yet I lack the power (wisdom) to know how to lighten up and move forward in my thinking. Try as I might, I cannot shake the place I am in .. Funniest way to put it is I feel like I have...	MeTwo2	10	439	Sep 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	New and back & forth (Preview) Hi, I am a 40 year old mother of two teenage boys. This December I will be married to my husband 20 years and while we originally were planning to renew our vows, he is now incarcerated instead. Over the course of our entire marriage, he has struggled w/ drug addiction and been in and out of jail several t...	ConcernedMomma	3	456	Sep 3, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Just facing me again (Preview) The longer I'm out of my last relationship of 12 to 13 years .. the more I'm able to see clearer .. It was so Emotionally toxic .. for us both really in spite of the fact this person was a drug addict .. all I really did was reinforce behaviors he uses to forget in the first place .. at least one of the reasons my w...	MeTwo2	9	404	Sep 4, 2013 by MeTwo2
	How to De-Tach (Preview) I have a question for everyone. How do you de-tach without feeling cold and alone? I am new at this but feel like de-taching is my way of saying "I don't care what you do any more". To me that feels like I am shutting a part of myself off from my spouse and makes me feel more alone. What am I missing...	ConcernedMomma	4	484	Sep 3, 2013 by karma13
	My will Vs Gods will (Preview) I just posted on the addict but I want to expand .. I went to a face to face meeting a couple weeks back and the chair was sharing the confusion his her confusion with my will vs Gods will. I have been kicking it around in the back of my mind ever since .. I hear myself often saying God not my will but yours be don...	MeTwo2	12	1328	Sep 3, 2013 by abbyal
	My son (Preview) I emailed him to say hi and hoped his move went well. He did email me back and said his dad was too sick and chewed him out because my son didn't have any help now. He also said his landlord is on his arse. Also he was more banged up since his last bike accident. He is bleeding everywhere..cut up but is doe...	Cathyinaz	17	644	Sep 3, 2013 by Rose50
	finally grabbing the rope you guys threw me! (Preview) As I was waking up this morn to 16 dogs and puppies barking.....I went to look out to the pond thinking, ok today I can choose how I feel. I choose happy. Then my analytical mind says, well happy is just a word, what is happy? gads. But I feel better today. Today I named puppy day. First I fed everyone so the...	Debilyn	8	718	Sep 3, 2013 by grateful2be
	Second Chance.....? (Preview) Hello, It's been some time since I've been here. I have been working hard on my own recovery, and have come a long way. I decided I was finally able to begin to date, and pursue a relationship after two years of being single. I met a man, who seems to be very nice, sincere, honest and humble. We spent the...	liljeannie	11	415	Sep 3, 2013 by liljeannie
	FINALLY found my A brother (Preview) WEll, I think I posted about a month ago that my A brother was AWOL for a while and I think I mentioned the other day that he was still AWOL.....I was right...he went on another bender....bad one this time...he got caught driving drunk....The police officer was touched by his honesty so he let him get his...	neshema2	3	412	Sep 3, 2013 by PP
	sneaking, creeping thoughts (Preview) Hi All-I learn new things everyday. While I was away and had time with my newly recovering A, it was easier to be grounded and focused and serene. We've been home two days and with the mail, messages, unpacking, calls to make, laundry, etc., I find some of my stinking thinking creeping in, like too con...	Lyne	10	516	Sep 3, 2013 by Jerry F
	I'm scared today (Preview) Good Morning Today is starting out really bad. I'm worried and scared. I have not heard anything from my son. Don't know if he got his furniture moved, still at the ranch or what is happening. I don't want to contact him in fear what I might find out. I know I am making myself miserable by doing this so...	Cathyinaz	14	531	Sep 3, 2013 by Jerry F
	Attended a meeting of the (Aa) (Preview) Last night me and my husband went to a meeting that had aa and al Alon / my I felt like I was walking into a storm , we were talking about step 8. Open up the meeting with a greeting and what side of the street we were on . First person to talk was from Aa told there story my husband sat there and smiled felt comfort...	Ms co-dependent	9	579	Sep 3, 2013 by hotrod
	Did not go visit my son.. (Preview) I am so angry at myself.. I did not go visit my son today at his recovery program for church after I told him yesterday I would.. I made a mistake and now I feel guilty.. I too have my demons to fight. I feel like I'm taking many steps backwards.. I pray my son will forgive me. I won't be able to go see next week du...	Gaby	5	490	Sep 3, 2013 by pinkchip
	HAPPY LABOR DAY and GOALS (Preview) HAPPY LABOR DAY to everyone May fall offer you all not only the cooler temps and teh beautiful foliage turning brilliant colors, but may upcoming new season offer you all proof of how much you have grown in the program... I know after going AWOL I had to work to get me back on track , but I am doing it...that...	neshema2	2	448	Sep 2, 2013 by MeTwo2
	daughter did it again to me...She IS consistent, I can say that (Preview) I had to send a rebuking text to get her to all me at FIVE PM......I basically told her that I did not expect her to keep her word, and didn't care anymore, but HER HP may care about her treating her mom this way, and so therefore, I was turning her over to HER God for lessons she needs to learn soon as I hit the se...	neshema2	9	629	Sep 2, 2013 by grateful2be
	Who Am I - Attitudes and Personality Traits (Preview) As I go through my Step 4 book I have come across the section in my work book titled Attitudes. As I answer these questions I often answer on both sides of the equation. Example: Am I half glass full or empty kind of person. In all honesty I am a bit of booth. It really depends on my mood, the place I am at and the...	Green-Eyed-Leopardes	11	2260	Sep 2, 2013 by sadsusie
	Overcome (Preview) Her internet is down, won't be able to make the business meeting tonight	mercedes1959	1	188	Sep 2, 2013 by Overcome
	DONT TAKE YOURSELF SO SERIOUS.... (Preview) The Sun came up without you thinking about it. Forget your problems just for today, laugh, put a smile on your face and be silly. Get a little work done mental and physical. Then put your work aside and enjoy even if its only for a few minutes....your good enough, your house is clean enough, the garage is c...	oldergal	6	411	Sep 1, 2013 by SerenitySoon
	Looking for some perspective (Preview) This might be better suited on the adult child board - however, because my father is still an active alcoholic, I'm bringing it here. Sorry if it's out of place. I know you guys can take it : ) So - this weekend is my fathers birthday. He will be 66. He can't drink a whole lot these days - I suspect he does i...	Tasha	11	549	Sep 1, 2013 by el-cee
	Dealing with guilt (Preview) I am relatively new to this. I have been to a few meetings, but tend to be a self learner/self healer (or at least I let myself believe that). We have been married for 27 years. We have been separated since May, when I realized that some things needed to be shaken up. He lied all summer, said he was not drinki...	Barbara 22	5	556	Sep 1, 2013 by el-cee
	Mahalo Family... (Preview) Reading your communications and telling your stories is affirming...very. I just read some shares which included the discription of the alcoholic "pushing buttons" and I was reminded of early Al-Anon where my learning was aided by my ability to see metaphors...pictures of what eve...	Jerry F	9	539	Sep 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	Court court and court again .. (Preview) I was scared in court last week (not like the last time though), as I'm going pro se at the moment .. I will continue to do so until I find it necessary to retain an atty, based upon the two atty's I have spoken to my divorce atty as well they have both indicated that there are things I can do through the divor...	Pushka	5	394	Sep 1, 2013 by MeTwo2
	I am & will remain sane! (Preview) Sometimes I feel like Murphy's Law! If something could go wrong it will! I am trying to stay sane through all the madness in my life. I am going to visit my mom once again in the hospital. I really don't feel like doing it but I know I should. So, tomorrow I am going to take advantage of the time spent up there s...	Hoot Nanny	4	313	Sep 1, 2013 by MeTwo2
	Newcomer-33 yr old son admitted self for detox (Preview) No contact w son for almost 1 yr after I stopped enabling. He showed up this week and said he was done drinking, didn't want to die. Got in detox 7 day program, medical detox, will be out soon and coming "home" . Scared I don't know how to prepare or what to do? Know he has to do the AA program himse...	NSBSANDY	7	475	Aug 31, 2013 by grateful2be
	Introducing myself (Preview) Hello all, I am new here and thought I would introduce myself. I have been attending f2f meetings here for a few months but my A's work schedule is becoming more that hectic so I have been looking for an online community that I can come too since its hard to get to meetings when you have a youngin' A is curren...	kn1228	6	523	Sep 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	Detach with love (Preview) I have learned, and understand the benefits of detaching from my AH, and am working on that, (I'm a work in progress for sure). But, and for various reasons including his drinking over the years, I have no contact with my family and no close friendships, so now that I have detached from him I feel utterl...	Charlotte	12	784	Sep 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	six years tomorrow (Preview) I have been visiting this site for exactly 6 years tomorrow! I noticed that my first post was August 31 2007! I just thought I would mention that. Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	6	288	Sep 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	Looking for my reply that had a chart (pic) of abuse cycle? Please Help! (Preview) I recently replied to someones post about minimizing their abuse, and I attached a graphic chart of the abuse cycle to. Does any one know where that post is? I really would like to share it with someone asap. John	John	8	2194	Sep 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	Seeing someone in recovery. (Preview) Hi. I'm sure there are many topics on this...But I just need some guidance. In March 2012 I met this guy in recovery. He didn't appeal to me at all at first, it wasn't until I got to know him that I started liking him. Well he didn't want a relationship then due to his living situation and I was fine with that b...	Sage	4	363	Sep 1, 2013 by Sage
	How can I find more peace (Preview) I am just going to be raw with this post and pour my heart out. I have deep sadness and anxiety almost every day of my life. I do have a HP but I often feel like I need to feel him more and I feel alone. I am a very sensitive being here on this earth and I feel everything...I feel peoples emotions, anger, sadne...	hope4ever	4	589	Aug 31, 2013 by Rose50
	New - need some suggestions (Preview) Hi There: I have been reading on this board for about a month and have been practicing detachment or trying to with my ASO getting mad because I am behaving so differently. Kind of in my own way, I am sure I haven't got the detachment with love but I have been pulling away to take care of my own well being bec...	mm830	8	454	Aug 31, 2013 by afglin
	Acceptance (Preview) Hi all I have been working really hard accepting ( TRULY accepting ) my son for what he is. To love him and let him be. With meetings and help I am slowly accepting and not projecting the future for my son. It's been sad at times and good at times. I will continue to move forward one day at a time...... I w...	Cathyinaz	8	320	Aug 30, 2013 by AngelicH57
	I'm not where I need to be because if my projections.. (Preview) Hi all most of you know my situation about my young son. He is currently in active Christian Base Recovery Program. He says he finally found a program that he belongs too. He is about 4 hours away ( which is a good thing ) it saddens me because all I can think is he is passing me by.. I have not worked my program...	Gaby	3	388	Aug 30, 2013 by pinkchip
	Good Morning (Preview) Starting out the day with taking care of me. Turning the focus off the a's and keeping it on me....	mercedes1959	3	227	Aug 30, 2013 by mercedes1959
	How to accept the drinking (Preview) I've been down this road before, but I could really use some help thinking this part through. What is my next right action, since all I can control is me? I quit drinking on January 1, 2012, but my drinking buddy, my AH, did not. As I am still in our marriage, I need a strategy I am comfortable with regard...	irukan	4	612	Aug 30, 2013 by pinkchip
	it's hard to be hard... (Preview) posting again, because I feel the urge to respond to his email again...to reach out to the nice guy in him again. Still not sure if this is the right thing to do...but I also know I haven't been healthy and have let myself abuse too much, so for the moment I let other people guide me, friends who love me and r...	tortuga	6	440	Aug 30, 2013 by PP
	My father and my friendship father friendships fallouts karma signs estrangement (Preview) I'm new to this forum, so I'm not entirely sure if this is in the right spot, but here I go (I apologize in advance for the length): I am currently 18, and have been estranged from my father for 7 years now. He was a violent, abusive alcoholic who beat my mother and forced my mother, my older brother, and me to...	raggedyann	9	6676	Aug 30, 2013 by Jerry F
	help please with drawing the line (Preview) Need some help from you all with communicating with my A. We are on a trip which we have taken for the last 20 yrs. It involves alot of walking. She is at a life-threatening weight. Some of this occurred due to her excessive drinking. I have commented to her, especially last night, about her losing h...	Lyne	9	385	Aug 30, 2013 by grateful2be
	Can Someone Explain his Behavior (Preview) My AH left our home after I filed a court order to force him out. He had 1 month to make arrangements but he stormed off one night and just never came back. We didn't know where is was until my kids friends (my kids are all mid - late teens) informed us they saw him living in his car in a parking lot in our smal...	LeeMarie	6	503	Aug 30, 2013 by Jerry F
	Court follow up (Preview) Since my last posting, I had the alcoholic b/f that was abusing me to extreme, arrested! Yes, by the grace of god, I was believed by the police and now he sits in jail. The court is going by indictment, meaning over 2 years in jail if found guilty. He has pleasd NG. Today I finished my victim impact s...	joker	4	580	Aug 30, 2013 by Jerry F
	Good time flying by (Preview) One day at a time...My wife announced that her son J called to say hello and to announce that he now has 24 years clean and sober and that is sooooo cool to hear and remember. When she and I first got together...I went over to her home for some mexican food (she does mexican like God likes it and therefore...	Jerry F	12	439	Aug 30, 2013 by yanksfan51
	So sad- just sadness (Preview) Sitting on the couch with my son my ah and his a friend eating supper and watching a movie. Friend left son went to bed And I realized. How sad this is. How sad that he keeps asking if I'm mad (I know he got off at 2 today and home at 5..then "worked" on boat til 7) he knows and I know what he does with h...	sweeetr	15	539	Aug 29, 2013 by grateful2be
	new and confused (Preview) OK, I am reading about working the programs, how do I do that? also how do I get a sponser and where do I get publications? I don't know if I am going to be able to get to F2F meetings. I was VERY sad to see that the closest one to me would be 2 hr round trip. Not good. Thanks all	islandtime	5	385	Aug 29, 2013 by sweeetr
	Agreed to meet alcoholic mother and now sat waiting 20 minutes late already.... annoyed with myself and her (Preview) Shall i just leave...	qwerty49	11	462	Aug 29, 2013 by grateful2be
	Allow my alcoholic mother to come & stay with me in Cornwall? (Preview) Hi there, I am new to alanon, attended my first meeting last night, a very emotional one at that with some amazing supportive people with such touching stories. I am in the process of moving to Cornwall on my own. I'm wondering if it would be enabling my alcoholic mother to allow her to come over and stay a...	qwerty49	7	631	Aug 29, 2013 by qwerty49
	Finding surrender and acceptance really hard (Preview) Hi all, I am new to this forum, but not to Al-Anon. Well, I still feel like a babe in the woods, as I've only been in the program since January and am still in the middle of Step 1! I have a sponsor, who I've met with twice. I've called one of the members between meetings. I am pretty fearful of commitments...	irukan	16	904	Aug 29, 2013 by hotrod
	I got bread from the hardware store! (Preview) Oh dear. I've been really off this last week, little outbursts, anger, tears, anxiety, you name it. Positive mantras, prayer, meetings, I've been trying to stay on top of it but hopelessness has sort of been taking over. Today I just felt awful. I argued with the A last night, he was being cruel and I sta...	Melly1248	14	676	Aug 29, 2013 by hotrod
	Just letting things out a little. (Preview) I believe the prayers and good energy you all sent helped me. Is sorta up, and down. It seems so insane to be where some of us are, who have no one. I don't believe we deserve it. Am not kidding when I say, I have not had a conversation with anyone for so many weeks. Have no one to talk about this horrible thing t...	Debilyn	4	403	Aug 28, 2013 by Sweet Stanley
	Not sure how to react! (Preview) So AH has been sober for three days, and today out iof nowhere he tells me he read a post i posted online at another message board, it was something stupid, like a 'what turns u on'. well, he really took it to heart even though i wasn't making it personal for me, just a general B session between me and my messa...	RandomPerson	6	490	Aug 28, 2013 by neshema2
	This is probably why I take her nonsense (Preview) Everyone this is Janet....My youngest grandchild...The last of em....my only girl grandbaby..I have 4 lovely grandsons but this is my princess......I went over daughter #2's house tonight b/c she really needed her computer repaired and so after a struggle I fixed it....D#2 was all lovey and kiss...	neshema2	7	339	Aug 28, 2013 by neshema2
	Spoke with my dad (Preview) Hey Everyone, I called my dad tonight after my meeting. He was drunk and out somewhere. It sounded way to loud to be a bar. Almost like he was at a store or a mall or something. This was around 9:30pm. Either way that is here nor there. He said he's talking to his work tomorrow and that if he wants to go to a famo...	slogan_jim	5	431	Aug 28, 2013 by Lyne
	Not sure if it's for me (Preview) This new job in the rehab has been taxing in all sort of ways. It is giving me crazy dreams. I am having a harder time detaching. Adults' problems seem more dramatic and serious. But I am not fooling myself. I am working with a very needy, entitled, and demanding population and they are inpatient me...	pinkchip	23	688	Aug 28, 2013 by Tasha
	coming here to write, rather than answering his calls and mails...plz support me keeping grounded. (Preview) so after 1 week silence, where I managed to stay head over water, and stay calm, with my friends around that came luckily to visit from abroad.... I stayed away from exABF, and he also stayed silent, which made us probably feel safe after the events last Tuesday, were he hit me out of a anxiety attack. So t...	tortuga	7	489	Aug 28, 2013 by ryanhearted
	living with a recovering alcoholic and drug user (Preview) I live with a recovering drug/ alcoholic. He is sober for 18 years and yet his personality is very short and explosive. He has episodes of anger and we have several screaming matches a week. They usually occur on the weekends. It is like he has two personalities. He is very needy and controlling. I love h...	deborah ann	8	1726	Aug 28, 2013 by ryanhearted
	Painful detachment text message to my AM (Preview) Good morning. Feeling emotional this morning as I've communicated with my AM & wondering if it was a mistake. Started attended alanon & realized i no longer can deal with mums alcoholism. She is approaching end stage Hep/Liver disease. Not hospitalized but struggling to breathe, needing...	qwerty49	11	492	Aug 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	At a loss (Preview) I'm having a really hard time trying to understand what I'm doing in my relationship. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic, he's been sober for 7 years. Recently he broke his foot and had to go on disability so he can't work or ride his motorcycle. At least once a week he'll call me and list a ton of re...	Squeak	12	437	Aug 28, 2013 by Jerry F
	Just need support (Preview) I have been online here for a few months, primarily reading posts and attending the online meetings when I can. I feel like I'm grabbing ahold of al-anon and it's helped me with my anger towards my AH. But I keep getting broadsided. And I don't know if it's because I"m naive, in denial, or just plain...	ryanhearted	8	522	Aug 28, 2013 by grateful2be
	keeper of the secret (Preview) Another brilliant realization has just popped into my mind. Asside from every other aspect of living with my AH. I have taken on the extra burden of keeping all this disfunction under wraps. Most people think I really have it made, living the life, married to a great guy. Oh how lucky I am LOL! I am lucky...	islandtime	14	509	Aug 28, 2013 by grateful2be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.