Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

islandtime · islandtime

I would love to hear from you all that have gotten out, and started a new life. That is what I need to do, and I just need to get it together, and do it. The problem is I have been with him since I was 18, I am now pushing 61 I've been suffering in silence. But it is getting more unbearable by the year.I was begini...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Friends I have been working on keeping my distance with my son. He, I'm sure is not in a good way and now is not the time to step in. BUT....the big but...if the A is so down and at his bottom and doesn't know what to do and he takes his own life or does something else that will hurt him...should we step in or...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I feel like ranting about how I feel. I promised myself I'd leave this out of my social life, so you guys get to benefit :) I have made no secret that I am tired of being alone. I am tired of tackling life by myself with just my higher pow...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Can't say much my post have been read . Not a pleasant night .. Tired of the BS tired of the questions . His slip ups push me far away . I swear to my higher power his plain is to drive me to a nutt house . Further info on Alalon wall . Privacy one . Broken67

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I've shared when I went to alanon several years ago, I went to change the addict. I went back after realizing how my obsession on this person was really effecting me. Even later I realized obsession is what (I) do and is why I needed to keep coming back. Tonight I was reading in Discovering Choices and...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Good morning to all of my brothers and sisters in Alalon . My children started school today. And now I have more time for me, if I was healthy that would be great but I'm not and I'm crying as I'm writing this and by all means I want no pity. . Most of you know me for my crazy rants and rage. September is a tough mo...

sweeetr · sweeetr

Sometimes Whenthe people you love hurt you the most, Its better to stay quiet... Because, If your love wasn't enough... Do you think your words will matter ??

sadsusie · sadsusie

I have been away from home 78 days, AH has been sober 32 days. He was verbally abusive and (do I have to even say it lol) manipulative. I have been pretty emotional these last few days and find it easier just not to speak to him. So we text. Barely. I am sure that he wants me to come home, although he has (no choi...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

i no longer have the active A in my life who brought me into the program. I have since gotten together with my best friend of two years and we have been dating. He understands my intimacy issues and my tendencies to run if things move too quickly and too fast. My past has been laden with addiction to a person...

cwya · cwya

Well i've had a doozy of an event inside my program community and i'm beginning to think i should just stop trying to go to meetings or make friends in the program. i doubt i'll ever have a sponsor again though i earnestly want one. i should say up front that i am both an alanon and AA which is true for most of...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Ugh, what a weekend that was. My daughter was away, which is always a little challenging for me. The A stayed in his room and drank and slept in fits. I couldn't find the energy or desire to do anything much. I've become so accustomed to keeping the house quiet when he's asleep (he used to rage if a sound was...

sad_dog_mommy · sad_dog_mommy

My chronically unemployed ABF just contacted my employer looking for a job!

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Epic journey today, 10 hours of buses and trains. I do this every 2nd friday to take my daughter to her father's house (it's just across the bay- now if I only had a hovercraft). When we moved here, for the A's job at the time, he was going to help "as much as he could" with the travel. Mhhm. As I'v...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Hi I found another room on this board that will be a help to me the child abuse blog . How do I access it? I put in my name and it won't accept it

Debilyn · Debilyn

Nothing tastes right, feels right. Dream about my first husband all the time, makes me insane. He died many years ago. I hurt so badly. I was out hanging cloths up, it hit me, I did kill him. I told my first I had to divorce, he had driven with our babies drunk. He was sooo upset and so hurt. That night is when h...

oldergal · oldergal

What do you think of this? If we can project negative scenarios, consequences with mental pictures and words and feelings even in color (which takes time and energy), why can't we project, words and feelings, pictures in our minds of good outcomes, sensible happenings. What and or who is stopping...

karma13 · karma13

Good afternoon, This is my first post to this forum. I have been working a alanon/coda program for the past two plus years on and off again. I have recently been working my program hard by going to meetings, studying the steps and praying and meditating, basically making sure I take care of myself ever...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Was a long weekend w/o incident! No booze to spoil the moments. Spent time w/ sober friends & especially my fav Al anon friend! I am so grateful for my close & special friend she drops everything to do something or spend time w/ me. I love her to death. I can't imagine my life w/o her. Anyhow, back t...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

An AA speaker at an Al-anon meeting gave the members this unusual insight from the other side of the fence: The non-alcoholic in the family doesn't seem to realize that the alcoholic is in a terribly vulnerable position. He must be constantly on guard, because he knows. deep down inside, how much trou...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I feel a little stuck in this limbo state. I left home 77 days ago, AH has been sober 30 days. Our marriage was full of verbal abuse (when drunk) and alot of control. I never felt likeI could have friends etc. Now that he is sober, i would like to get to know him again...test the waters so to speak. I realize t...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

It's humbling for me to admit. I have a Great Spiritual recovery with tons of wisdom thanks to God and the members of alanon and yet I lack the power (wisdom) to know how to lighten up and move forward in my thinking. Try as I might, I cannot shake the place I am in .. Funniest way to put it is I feel like I have...

ConcernedMomma · ConcernedMomma

Hi, I am a 40 year old mother of two teenage boys. This December I will be married to my husband 20 years and while we originally were planning to renew our vows, he is now incarcerated instead. Over the course of our entire marriage, he has struggled w/ drug addiction and been in and out of jail several t...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

The longer I'm out of my last relationship of 12 to 13 years .. the more I'm able to see clearer .. It was so Emotionally toxic .. for us both really in spite of the fact this person was a drug addict .. all I really did was reinforce behaviors he uses to forget in the first place .. at least one of the reasons my w...

ConcernedMomma · ConcernedMomma

I have a question for everyone. How do you de-tach without feeling cold and alone? I am new at this but feel like de-taching is my way of saying "I don't care what you do any more". To me that feels like I am shutting a part of myself off from my spouse and makes me feel more alone. What am I missing...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I just posted on the addict but I want to expand .. I went to a face to face meeting a couple weeks back and the chair was sharing the confusion his her confusion with my will vs Gods will. I have been kicking it around in the back of my mind ever since .. I hear myself often saying God not my will but yours be don...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I emailed him to say hi and hoped his move went well. He did email me back and said his dad was too sick and chewed him out because my son didn't have any help now. He also said his landlord is on his arse. Also he was more banged up since his last bike accident. He is bleeding everywhere..cut up but is doe...

Debilyn · Debilyn

As I was waking up this morn to 16 dogs and puppies barking.....I went to look out to the pond thinking, ok today I can choose how I feel. I choose happy. Then my analytical mind says, well happy is just a word, what is happy? gads. But I feel better today. Today I named puppy day. First I fed everyone so the...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello, It's been some time since I've been here. I have been working hard on my own recovery, and have come a long way. I decided I was finally able to begin to date, and pursue a relationship after two years of being single. I met a man, who seems to be very nice, sincere, honest and humble. We spent the...

neshema2 · neshema2

WEll, I think I posted about a month ago that my A brother was AWOL for a while and I think I mentioned the other day that he was still AWOL.....I was right...he went on another bender....bad one this time...he got caught driving drunk....The police officer was touched by his honesty so he let him get his...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi All-I learn new things everyday. While I was away and had time with my newly recovering A, it was easier to be grounded and focused and serene. We've been home two days and with the mail, messages, unpacking, calls to make, laundry, etc., I find some of my stinking thinking creeping in, like too con...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning Today is starting out really bad. I'm worried and scared. I have not heard anything from my son. Don't know if he got his furniture moved, still at the ranch or what is happening. I don't want to contact him in fear what I might find out. I know I am making myself miserable by doing this so...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Last night me and my husband went to a meeting that had aa and al Alon / my I felt like I was walking into a storm , we were talking about step 8. Open up the meeting with a greeting and what side of the street we were on . First person to talk was from Aa told there story my husband sat there and smiled felt comfort...

Gaby · Gaby

I am so angry at myself.. I did not go visit my son today at his recovery program for church after I told him yesterday I would.. I made a mistake and now I feel guilty.. I too have my demons to fight. I feel like I'm taking many steps backwards.. I pray my son will forgive me. I won't be able to go see next week du...

neshema2 · neshema2

HAPPY LABOR DAY to everyone May fall offer you all not only the cooler temps and teh beautiful foliage turning brilliant colors, but may upcoming new season offer you all proof of how much you have grown in the program... I know after going AWOL I had to work to get me back on track , but I am doing it...that...

neshema2 · neshema2

I had to send a rebuking text to get her to all me at FIVE PM......I basically told her that I did not expect her to keep her word, and didn't care anymore, but HER HP may care about her treating her mom this way, and so therefore, I was turning her over to HER God for lessons she needs to learn soon as I hit the se...

Green-Eyed-Leopardes · Green-Eyed-Leopardes

As I go through my Step 4 book I have come across the section in my work book titled Attitudes. As I answer these questions I often answer on both sides of the equation. Example: Am I half glass full or empty kind of person. In all honesty I am a bit of booth. It really depends on my mood, the place I am at and the...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Her internet is down, won't be able to make the business meeting tonight

oldergal · oldergal

The Sun came up without you thinking about it. Forget your problems just for today, laugh, put a smile on your face and be silly. Get a little work done mental and physical. Then put your work aside and enjoy even if its only for a few minutes....your good enough, your house is clean enough, the garage is c...

Tasha · Tasha

This might be better suited on the adult child board - however, because my father is still an active alcoholic, I'm bringing it here. Sorry if it's out of place. I know you guys can take it : ) So - this weekend is my fathers birthday. He will be 66. He can't drink a whole lot these days - I suspect he does i...

Barbara 22 · Barbara 22

I am relatively new to this. I have been to a few meetings, but tend to be a self learner/self healer (or at least I let myself believe that). We have been married for 27 years. We have been separated since May, when I realized that some things needed to be shaken up. He lied all summer, said he was not drinki...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Reading your communications and telling your stories is affirming...very. I just read some shares which included the discription of the alcoholic "pushing buttons" and I was reminded of early Al-Anon where my learning was aided by my ability to see metaphors...pictures of what eve...

Pushka · Pushka

I was scared in court last week (not like the last time though), as I'm going pro se at the moment .. I will continue to do so until I find it necessary to retain an atty, based upon the two atty's I have spoken to my divorce atty as well they have both indicated that there are things I can do through the divor...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes I feel like Murphy's Law! If something could go wrong it will! I am trying to stay sane through all the madness in my life. I am going to visit my mom once again in the hospital. I really don't feel like doing it but I know I should. So, tomorrow I am going to take advantage of the time spent up there s...

NSBSANDY · NSBSANDY

No contact w son for almost 1 yr after I stopped enabling. He showed up this week and said he was done drinking, didn't want to die. Got in detox 7 day program, medical detox, will be out soon and coming "home" . Scared I don't know how to prepare or what to do? Know he has to do the AA program himse...

kn1228 · kn1228

Hello all, I am new here and thought I would introduce myself. I have been attending f2f meetings here for a few months but my A's work schedule is becoming more that hectic so I have been looking for an online community that I can come too since its hard to get to meetings when you have a youngin' A is curren...

Charlotte · Charlotte

I have learned, and understand the benefits of detaching from my AH, and am working on that, (I'm a work in progress for sure). But, and for various reasons including his drinking over the years, I have no contact with my family and no close friendships, so now that I have detached from him I feel utterl...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have been visiting this site for exactly 6 years tomorrow! I noticed that my first post was August 31 2007! I just thought I would mention that. Kathleen

John · John

I recently replied to someones post about minimizing their abuse, and I attached a graphic chart of the abuse cycle to. Does any one know where that post is? I really would like to share it with someone asap. John

Sage · Sage

Hi. I'm sure there are many topics on this...But I just need some guidance. In March 2012 I met this guy in recovery. He didn't appeal to me at all at first, it wasn't until I got to know him that I started liking him. Well he didn't want a relationship then due to his living situation and I was fine with that b...

hope4ever · hope4ever

I am just going to be raw with this post and pour my heart out. I have deep sadness and anxiety almost every day of my life. I do have a HP but I often feel like I need to feel him more and I feel alone. I am a very sensitive being here on this earth and I feel everything...I feel peoples emotions, anger, sadne...

mm830 · mm830

Hi There: I have been reading on this board for about a month and have been practicing detachment or trying to with my ASO getting mad because I am behaving so differently. Kind of in my own way, I am sure I haven't got the detachment with love but I have been pulling away to take care of my own well being bec...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi all I have been working really hard accepting ( TRULY accepting ) my son for what he is. To love him and let him be. With meetings and help I am slowly accepting and not projecting the future for my son. It's been sad at times and good at times. I will continue to move forward one day at a time...... I w...

Gaby · Gaby

Hi all most of you know my situation about my young son. He is currently in active Christian Base Recovery Program. He says he finally found a program that he belongs too. He is about 4 hours away ( which is a good thing ) it saddens me because all I can think is he is passing me by.. I have not worked my program...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Starting out the day with taking care of me. Turning the focus off the a's and keeping it on me....

irukan · irukan

I've been down this road before, but I could really use some help thinking this part through. What is my next right action, since all I can control is me? I quit drinking on January 1, 2012, but my drinking buddy, my AH, did not. As I am still in our marriage, I need a strategy I am comfortable with regard...

tortuga · tortuga

posting again, because I feel the urge to respond to his email again...to reach out to the nice guy in him again. Still not sure if this is the right thing to do...but I also know I haven't been healthy and have let myself abuse too much, so for the moment I let other people guide me, friends who love me and r...

raggedyann · raggedyann

I'm new to this forum, so I'm not entirely sure if this is in the right spot, but here I go (I apologize in advance for the length): I am currently 18, and have been estranged from my father for 7 years now. He was a violent, abusive alcoholic who beat my mother and forced my mother, my older brother, and me to...

Lyne · Lyne

Need some help from you all with communicating with my A. We are on a trip which we have taken for the last 20 yrs. It involves alot of walking. She is at a life-threatening weight. Some of this occurred due to her excessive drinking. I have commented to her, especially last night, about her losing h...

LeeMarie · LeeMarie

My AH left our home after I filed a court order to force him out. He had 1 month to make arrangements but he stormed off one night and just never came back. We didn't know where is was until my kids friends (my kids are all mid - late teens) informed us they saw him living in his car in a parking lot in our smal...

joker · joker

Since my last posting, I had the alcoholic b/f that was abusing me to extreme, arrested! Yes, by the grace of god, I was believed by the police and now he sits in jail. The court is going by indictment, meaning over 2 years in jail if found guilty. He has pleasd NG. Today I finished my victim impact s...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	divorced??? (Preview) I would love to hear from you all that have gotten out, and started a new life. That is what I need to do, and I just need to get it together, and do it. The problem is I have been with him since I was 18, I am now pushing 61 I've been suffering in silence. But it is getting more unbearable by the year.I was begini...	islandtime	9	488	Sep 5, 2013 by islandtime
	I need some thoughts on this (Preview) Hi Friends I have been working on keeping my distance with my son. He, I'm sure is not in a good way and now is not the time to step in. BUT....the big but...if the A is so down and at his bottom and doesn't know what to do and he takes his own life or does something else that will hurt him...should we step in or...	Cathyinaz	11	587	Sep 5, 2013 by PP
	I want to 'want it' more, ranting, feel free to skip. (Preview) Hey everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. I feel like ranting about how I feel. I promised myself I'd leave this out of my social life, so you guys get to benefit :) I have made no secret that I am tired of being alone. I am tired of tackling life by myself with just my higher pow...	slogan_jim	4	353	Sep 5, 2013 by PP
	I came home to a A with attitude (Preview) Can't say much my post have been read . Not a pleasant night .. Tired of the BS tired of the questions . His slip ups push me far away . I swear to my higher power his plain is to drive me to a nutt house . Further info on Alalon wall . Privacy one . Broken67	Ms co-dependent	0	228	Sep 5, 2013 by Ms co-dependent
	Obsession Read .. (Preview) I've shared when I went to alanon several years ago, I went to change the addict. I went back after realizing how my obsession on this person was really effecting me. Even later I realized obsession is what (I) do and is why I needed to keep coming back. Tonight I was reading in Discovering Choices and...	MeTwo2	4	397	Sep 5, 2013 by karma13
	Depressed emotional isolating escape (Preview) Good morning to all of my brothers and sisters in Alalon . My children started school today. And now I have more time for me, if I was healthy that would be great but I'm not and I'm crying as I'm writing this and by all means I want no pity. . Most of you know me for my crazy rants and rage. September is a tough mo...	Ms co-dependent	8	510	Sep 5, 2013 by MeTwo2
	Quote I liked (Preview) Sometimes Whenthe people you love hurt you the most, Its better to stay quiet... Because, If your love wasn't enough... Do you think your words will matter ??	sweeetr	4	322	Sep 5, 2013 by MeTwo2
	I finally got angry and it cleared my head. not allowing fear or mistrust to skew reality (Preview) I have been away from home 78 days, AH has been sober 32 days. He was verbally abusive and (do I have to even say it lol) manipulative. I have been pretty emotional these last few days and find it easier just not to speak to him. So we text. Barely. I am sure that he wants me to come home, although he has (no choi...	sadsusie	6	498	Sep 5, 2013 by Debilyn
	I need help/support - obsessing Love addiction obsession dating (Preview) i no longer have the active A in my life who brought me into the program. I have since gotten together with my best friend of two years and we have been dating. He understands my intimacy issues and my tendencies to run if things move too quickly and too fast. My past has been laden with addiction to a person...	RunnerChick	8	8880	Sep 5, 2013 by neshema2
	traditions, step meetings, double winners (Preview) Well i've had a doozy of an event inside my program community and i'm beginning to think i should just stop trying to go to meetings or make friends in the program. i doubt i'll ever have a sponsor again though i earnestly want one. i should say up front that i am both an alanon and AA which is true for most of...	cwya	16	4476	Sep 5, 2013 by cwya
	Yep, it's cunning. (Preview) Ugh, what a weekend that was. My daughter was away, which is always a little challenging for me. The A stayed in his room and drank and slept in fits. I couldn't find the energy or desire to do anything much. I've become so accustomed to keeping the house quiet when he's asleep (he used to rage if a sound was...	Melly1248	19	736	Sep 4, 2013 by gingerfizz
	what nerve! (Preview) My chronically unemployed ABF just contacted my employer looking for a job!	sad_dog_mommy	1	321	Sep 4, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Must remember to breath! (Preview) Epic journey today, 10 hours of buses and trains. I do this every 2nd friday to take my daughter to her father's house (it's just across the bay- now if I only had a hovercraft). When we moved here, for the A's job at the time, he was going to help "as much as he could" with the travel. Mhhm. As I'v...	Melly1248	7	531	Sep 4, 2013 by Ms co-dependent
	How to ? (Preview) Hi I found another room on this board that will be a help to me the child abuse blog . How do I access it? I put in my name and it won't accept it	Ms co-dependent	5	356	Sep 4, 2013 by Ms co-dependent
	Surviving (Preview) Nothing tastes right, feels right. Dream about my first husband all the time, makes me insane. He died many years ago. I hurt so badly. I was out hanging cloths up, it hit me, I did kill him. I told my first I had to divorce, he had driven with our babies drunk. He was sooo upset and so hurt. That night is when h...	Debilyn	12	641	Sep 4, 2013 by cwya
	POSITIVE PROJECTIONS (Preview) What do you think of this? If we can project negative scenarios, consequences with mental pictures and words and feelings even in color (which takes time and energy), why can't we project, words and feelings, pictures in our minds of good outcomes, sensible happenings. What and or who is stopping...	oldergal	8	632	Sep 4, 2013 by tortuga
	A question about dry live in boyfriend (Preview) Good afternoon, This is my first post to this forum. I have been working a alanon/coda program for the past two plus years on and off again. I have recently been working my program hard by going to meetings, studying the steps and praying and meditating, basically making sure I take care of myself ever...	karma13	9	638	Sep 4, 2013 by PP
	long weekend but excellent! (Preview) Was a long weekend w/o incident! No booze to spoil the moments. Spent time w/ sober friends & especially my fav Al anon friend! I am so grateful for my close & special friend she drops everything to do something or spend time w/ me. I love her to death. I can't imagine my life w/o her. Anyhow, back t...	Hoot Nanny	2	327	Sep 4, 2013 by hotrod
	ODAT page 187 (Preview) An AA speaker at an Al-anon meeting gave the members this unusual insight from the other side of the fence: The non-alcoholic in the family doesn't seem to realize that the alcoholic is in a terribly vulnerable position. He must be constantly on guard, because he knows. deep down inside, how much trou...	Cathyinaz	17	702	Sep 4, 2013 by cwya
	Trying to learn to compromise with a recovering AH (Preview) I feel a little stuck in this limbo state. I left home 77 days ago, AH has been sober 30 days. Our marriage was full of verbal abuse (when drunk) and alot of control. I never felt likeI could have friends etc. Now that he is sober, i would like to get to know him again...test the waters so to speak. I realize t...	sadsusie	13	639	Sep 4, 2013 by hisimage
	Too serious (Preview) It's humbling for me to admit. I have a Great Spiritual recovery with tons of wisdom thanks to God and the members of alanon and yet I lack the power (wisdom) to know how to lighten up and move forward in my thinking. Try as I might, I cannot shake the place I am in .. Funniest way to put it is I feel like I have...	MeTwo2	10	471	Sep 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	New and back & forth (Preview) Hi, I am a 40 year old mother of two teenage boys. This December I will be married to my husband 20 years and while we originally were planning to renew our vows, he is now incarcerated instead. Over the course of our entire marriage, he has struggled w/ drug addiction and been in and out of jail several t...	ConcernedMomma	3	486	Sep 3, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	Just facing me again (Preview) The longer I'm out of my last relationship of 12 to 13 years .. the more I'm able to see clearer .. It was so Emotionally toxic .. for us both really in spite of the fact this person was a drug addict .. all I really did was reinforce behaviors he uses to forget in the first place .. at least one of the reasons my w...	MeTwo2	9	436	Sep 4, 2013 by MeTwo2
	How to De-Tach (Preview) I have a question for everyone. How do you de-tach without feeling cold and alone? I am new at this but feel like de-taching is my way of saying "I don't care what you do any more". To me that feels like I am shutting a part of myself off from my spouse and makes me feel more alone. What am I missing...	ConcernedMomma	4	518	Sep 3, 2013 by karma13
	My will Vs Gods will (Preview) I just posted on the addict but I want to expand .. I went to a face to face meeting a couple weeks back and the chair was sharing the confusion his her confusion with my will vs Gods will. I have been kicking it around in the back of my mind ever since .. I hear myself often saying God not my will but yours be don...	MeTwo2	12	1381	Sep 3, 2013 by abbyal
	My son (Preview) I emailed him to say hi and hoped his move went well. He did email me back and said his dad was too sick and chewed him out because my son didn't have any help now. He also said his landlord is on his arse. Also he was more banged up since his last bike accident. He is bleeding everywhere..cut up but is doe...	Cathyinaz	17	681	Sep 3, 2013 by Rose50
	finally grabbing the rope you guys threw me! (Preview) As I was waking up this morn to 16 dogs and puppies barking.....I went to look out to the pond thinking, ok today I can choose how I feel. I choose happy. Then my analytical mind says, well happy is just a word, what is happy? gads. But I feel better today. Today I named puppy day. First I fed everyone so the...	Debilyn	8	754	Sep 3, 2013 by grateful2be
	Second Chance.....? (Preview) Hello, It's been some time since I've been here. I have been working hard on my own recovery, and have come a long way. I decided I was finally able to begin to date, and pursue a relationship after two years of being single. I met a man, who seems to be very nice, sincere, honest and humble. We spent the...	liljeannie	11	448	Sep 3, 2013 by liljeannie
	FINALLY found my A brother (Preview) WEll, I think I posted about a month ago that my A brother was AWOL for a while and I think I mentioned the other day that he was still AWOL.....I was right...he went on another bender....bad one this time...he got caught driving drunk....The police officer was touched by his honesty so he let him get his...	neshema2	3	444	Sep 3, 2013 by PP
	sneaking, creeping thoughts (Preview) Hi All-I learn new things everyday. While I was away and had time with my newly recovering A, it was easier to be grounded and focused and serene. We've been home two days and with the mail, messages, unpacking, calls to make, laundry, etc., I find some of my stinking thinking creeping in, like too con...	Lyne	10	547	Sep 3, 2013 by Jerry F
	I'm scared today (Preview) Good Morning Today is starting out really bad. I'm worried and scared. I have not heard anything from my son. Don't know if he got his furniture moved, still at the ranch or what is happening. I don't want to contact him in fear what I might find out. I know I am making myself miserable by doing this so...	Cathyinaz	14	565	Sep 3, 2013 by Jerry F
	Attended a meeting of the (Aa) (Preview) Last night me and my husband went to a meeting that had aa and al Alon / my I felt like I was walking into a storm , we were talking about step 8. Open up the meeting with a greeting and what side of the street we were on . First person to talk was from Aa told there story my husband sat there and smiled felt comfort...	Ms co-dependent	9	617	Sep 3, 2013 by hotrod
	Did not go visit my son.. (Preview) I am so angry at myself.. I did not go visit my son today at his recovery program for church after I told him yesterday I would.. I made a mistake and now I feel guilty.. I too have my demons to fight. I feel like I'm taking many steps backwards.. I pray my son will forgive me. I won't be able to go see next week du...	Gaby	5	527	Sep 3, 2013 by pinkchip
	HAPPY LABOR DAY and GOALS (Preview) HAPPY LABOR DAY to everyone May fall offer you all not only the cooler temps and teh beautiful foliage turning brilliant colors, but may upcoming new season offer you all proof of how much you have grown in the program... I know after going AWOL I had to work to get me back on track , but I am doing it...that...	neshema2	2	481	Sep 2, 2013 by MeTwo2
	daughter did it again to me...She IS consistent, I can say that (Preview) I had to send a rebuking text to get her to all me at FIVE PM......I basically told her that I did not expect her to keep her word, and didn't care anymore, but HER HP may care about her treating her mom this way, and so therefore, I was turning her over to HER God for lessons she needs to learn soon as I hit the se...	neshema2	9	663	Sep 2, 2013 by grateful2be
	Who Am I - Attitudes and Personality Traits (Preview) As I go through my Step 4 book I have come across the section in my work book titled Attitudes. As I answer these questions I often answer on both sides of the equation. Example: Am I half glass full or empty kind of person. In all honesty I am a bit of booth. It really depends on my mood, the place I am at and the...	Green-Eyed-Leopardes	11	2328	Sep 2, 2013 by sadsusie
	Overcome (Preview) Her internet is down, won't be able to make the business meeting tonight	mercedes1959	1	221	Sep 2, 2013 by Overcome
	DONT TAKE YOURSELF SO SERIOUS.... (Preview) The Sun came up without you thinking about it. Forget your problems just for today, laugh, put a smile on your face and be silly. Get a little work done mental and physical. Then put your work aside and enjoy even if its only for a few minutes....your good enough, your house is clean enough, the garage is c...	oldergal	6	446	Sep 1, 2013 by SerenitySoon
	Looking for some perspective (Preview) This might be better suited on the adult child board - however, because my father is still an active alcoholic, I'm bringing it here. Sorry if it's out of place. I know you guys can take it : ) So - this weekend is my fathers birthday. He will be 66. He can't drink a whole lot these days - I suspect he does i...	Tasha	11	585	Sep 1, 2013 by el-cee
	Dealing with guilt (Preview) I am relatively new to this. I have been to a few meetings, but tend to be a self learner/self healer (or at least I let myself believe that). We have been married for 27 years. We have been separated since May, when I realized that some things needed to be shaken up. He lied all summer, said he was not drinki...	Barbara 22	5	587	Sep 1, 2013 by el-cee
	Mahalo Family... (Preview) Reading your communications and telling your stories is affirming...very. I just read some shares which included the discription of the alcoholic "pushing buttons" and I was reminded of early Al-Anon where my learning was aided by my ability to see metaphors...pictures of what eve...	Jerry F	9	572	Sep 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	Court court and court again .. (Preview) I was scared in court last week (not like the last time though), as I'm going pro se at the moment .. I will continue to do so until I find it necessary to retain an atty, based upon the two atty's I have spoken to my divorce atty as well they have both indicated that there are things I can do through the divor...	Pushka	5	427	Sep 1, 2013 by MeTwo2
	I am & will remain sane! (Preview) Sometimes I feel like Murphy's Law! If something could go wrong it will! I am trying to stay sane through all the madness in my life. I am going to visit my mom once again in the hospital. I really don't feel like doing it but I know I should. So, tomorrow I am going to take advantage of the time spent up there s...	Hoot Nanny	4	348	Sep 1, 2013 by MeTwo2
	Newcomer-33 yr old son admitted self for detox (Preview) No contact w son for almost 1 yr after I stopped enabling. He showed up this week and said he was done drinking, didn't want to die. Got in detox 7 day program, medical detox, will be out soon and coming "home" . Scared I don't know how to prepare or what to do? Know he has to do the AA program himse...	NSBSANDY	7	506	Aug 31, 2013 by grateful2be
	Introducing myself (Preview) Hello all, I am new here and thought I would introduce myself. I have been attending f2f meetings here for a few months but my A's work schedule is becoming more that hectic so I have been looking for an online community that I can come too since its hard to get to meetings when you have a youngin' A is curren...	kn1228	6	556	Sep 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	Detach with love (Preview) I have learned, and understand the benefits of detaching from my AH, and am working on that, (I'm a work in progress for sure). But, and for various reasons including his drinking over the years, I have no contact with my family and no close friendships, so now that I have detached from him I feel utterl...	Charlotte	12	820	Sep 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	six years tomorrow (Preview) I have been visiting this site for exactly 6 years tomorrow! I noticed that my first post was August 31 2007! I just thought I would mention that. Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	6	324	Sep 1, 2013 by Jerry F
	Looking for my reply that had a chart (pic) of abuse cycle? Please Help! (Preview) I recently replied to someones post about minimizing their abuse, and I attached a graphic chart of the abuse cycle to. Does any one know where that post is? I really would like to share it with someone asap. John	John	8	2271	Sep 1, 2013 by grateful2be
	Seeing someone in recovery. (Preview) Hi. I'm sure there are many topics on this...But I just need some guidance. In March 2012 I met this guy in recovery. He didn't appeal to me at all at first, it wasn't until I got to know him that I started liking him. Well he didn't want a relationship then due to his living situation and I was fine with that b...	Sage	4	398	Sep 1, 2013 by Sage
	How can I find more peace (Preview) I am just going to be raw with this post and pour my heart out. I have deep sadness and anxiety almost every day of my life. I do have a HP but I often feel like I need to feel him more and I feel alone. I am a very sensitive being here on this earth and I feel everything...I feel peoples emotions, anger, sadne...	hope4ever	4	623	Aug 31, 2013 by Rose50
	New - need some suggestions (Preview) Hi There: I have been reading on this board for about a month and have been practicing detachment or trying to with my ASO getting mad because I am behaving so differently. Kind of in my own way, I am sure I haven't got the detachment with love but I have been pulling away to take care of my own well being bec...	mm830	8	485	Aug 31, 2013 by afglin
	Acceptance (Preview) Hi all I have been working really hard accepting ( TRULY accepting ) my son for what he is. To love him and let him be. With meetings and help I am slowly accepting and not projecting the future for my son. It's been sad at times and good at times. I will continue to move forward one day at a time...... I w...	Cathyinaz	8	356	Aug 30, 2013 by AngelicH57
	I'm not where I need to be because if my projections.. (Preview) Hi all most of you know my situation about my young son. He is currently in active Christian Base Recovery Program. He says he finally found a program that he belongs too. He is about 4 hours away ( which is a good thing ) it saddens me because all I can think is he is passing me by.. I have not worked my program...	Gaby	3	422	Aug 30, 2013 by pinkchip
	Good Morning (Preview) Starting out the day with taking care of me. Turning the focus off the a's and keeping it on me....	mercedes1959	3	257	Aug 30, 2013 by mercedes1959
	How to accept the drinking (Preview) I've been down this road before, but I could really use some help thinking this part through. What is my next right action, since all I can control is me? I quit drinking on January 1, 2012, but my drinking buddy, my AH, did not. As I am still in our marriage, I need a strategy I am comfortable with regard...	irukan	4	646	Aug 30, 2013 by pinkchip
	it's hard to be hard... (Preview) posting again, because I feel the urge to respond to his email again...to reach out to the nice guy in him again. Still not sure if this is the right thing to do...but I also know I haven't been healthy and have let myself abuse too much, so for the moment I let other people guide me, friends who love me and r...	tortuga	6	476	Aug 30, 2013 by PP
	My father and my friendship father friendships fallouts karma signs estrangement (Preview) I'm new to this forum, so I'm not entirely sure if this is in the right spot, but here I go (I apologize in advance for the length): I am currently 18, and have been estranged from my father for 7 years now. He was a violent, abusive alcoholic who beat my mother and forced my mother, my older brother, and me to...	raggedyann	9	7125	Aug 30, 2013 by Jerry F
	help please with drawing the line (Preview) Need some help from you all with communicating with my A. We are on a trip which we have taken for the last 20 yrs. It involves alot of walking. She is at a life-threatening weight. Some of this occurred due to her excessive drinking. I have commented to her, especially last night, about her losing h...	Lyne	9	417	Aug 30, 2013 by grateful2be
	Can Someone Explain his Behavior (Preview) My AH left our home after I filed a court order to force him out. He had 1 month to make arrangements but he stormed off one night and just never came back. We didn't know where is was until my kids friends (my kids are all mid - late teens) informed us they saw him living in his car in a parking lot in our smal...	LeeMarie	6	536	Aug 30, 2013 by Jerry F
	Court follow up (Preview) Since my last posting, I had the alcoholic b/f that was abusing me to extreme, arrested! Yes, by the grace of god, I was believed by the police and now he sits in jail. The court is going by indictment, meaning over 2 years in jail if found guilty. He has pleasd NG. Today I finished my victim impact s...	joker	4	613	Aug 30, 2013 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.