The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Gaby: A meeting is just an hour a week. We have on-line meetings twice a day. If your recovery is important to you, then please attend meetings if not face to face, then on-line here. That's the best advice I know to give you.
My son is no longer in recovery - he relapsed and has not returned. I do myself no favor by ignoring what I know I need to do for me. Being sick is no fun or good for me, my son, my daughter, my grandson, my co-workers or my friends. I can choose that along with the self-pity, anxiety, anger, frustration, guilt, nightmares, depression, sadness, lack of good judgment, confusion and general feelings of malaise, but what am I gaining in the process? Just more of the same day after day after day. The only thing that will change without recovery is that I will get older and sicker.
Please don't let yourself get sicker. As you say, you have an 8 year old daughter and aging parents and a husband and co-workers who need you to be the best you can be and more importantly - you need you to be the best you can be. Please get help in the form of recovery work in Al-Anon. Your son is trying to help you by telling you "I'm no longer your problem, Mom." He wants you to focus on you and your need for recovery. Listen to him for your sake.
-- Edited by grateful2be on Friday 30th of August 2013 12:46:43 AM
Hi all most of you know my situation about my young son. He is currently in active Christian Base Recovery Program. He says he finally found a program that he belongs too. He is about 4 hours away ( which is a good thing ) it saddens me because all I can think is he is passing me by.. I have not worked my program as I should. I work 2 jobs, I take care of my parents, my father that had a stroke and effected him where he is wheeled chaired and a mother that does not drive nor speaks English and puts her all on also taking care of her 51 years of marriage love one.. And my marriage to work on as well as my 8 year old that I've payed very little attention to because I was to busy focusing on my AS. He is in a good place with himself and god.. I'm not nearly close to healing. I visit my son when I can but all I hear myself talk about is the "why's and the what if's".. He has learned the meaning of "humble".. This is why he listens and responds back with " I'm no longer your problem mom and you can't be the way you are even though I caused a lot " .. Now its a decision where I let go of my part-time job to begin healing because I see him passing me by. And my guilt of still not being where I need to be with my daughter. Any advice or suggestions or just responses that any one can post will help. God bless..
Hola Gaby!!...Sounds like you're ready to get back on track...Do it!! Stop the stuff you're doing that isn't working and isn't necessary and go back to program. You are not in competition with your son for anything. He isn't passing you by though I know what you mean. Your life is your responsibility and how it turns out is your choice. Re-program it. Start now. Make the call to the Al-Anon hotline to find out where and when we get together in your area if you have forgotten and then come. If your daugher is well behaved take her and maybe you will find an Alateen ODAAT daily reader in the meeting that she can read. It is so important that you stop doing what isn't work cause if nothing changes...nothing changes and you need a best shot at peace of mind and serenity. There are other helpers you can call on regarding your dad and mom. Sad that has happened and you can still change whats going on. Keep coming here...like Grateful said the on line meetings maybe helpful. ((((hugs))))
