Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

heythere · heythere

Have been working on letting my addict son go. Have not spoken with him since Monday and as the week wore on, it became apparent to me that most of the things he had said/promised since before Xmas were lies. I had been waiting to see if he had been telling the truth and wasn't surprised that it turned out...

farmerswife · farmerswife

Well I have orientation for my new job tomorrow but I had my first day yesterday. An hour after they told me I got the job they called and said they need me to see a patient, so I spent 4 hours yesterday with a patient knowing no company policy very vague job description no patient information, but I didn't l...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

I just need to vent and also ask if any of you ever experienced a stage where your A began questioning you trying to get every detail of your life while giving no false information. Friday night predictably AW went out and stayed out at her gf's place. So I made arrangements to stay at a friends place with o...

tortuga · tortuga

... i would not feel like crying all the time ... i would not fight for love from others all the time ... i would feel proud for my achievements .... i would not be angry all the time ... i would become a mother right now ... i would make people around me happy ... i wouldn't feel invisible al the time ... my pare...

Venera · Venera

We are on vacation in Mexico. This day 6 of AH drinking non stop, which is longer any other time before and more strong. The sickness is so obvious. It is very open to kids now, they asked him to go to the doctor many times, but he refused. Don't want to write about all the damage during these days. We are all s...

el-cee · el-cee

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Happy new year everyone! I've been lurking and getting a lot of support from this board and my f/f meetings etc. Funny how yesterdayI expressed how thankful I'm for the things my H/P allow to come into my life and I say "thank you" and look for what I'm supposed to learn from it. Well today,...

cwya · cwya

Well my ceaseless struggles with my dysfunctional boss ended today. I smelled alcohol around her this morning which explains just about everything that's happened between us over the last 3 months. So maybe she's both an alcoholic and in or around an alcoholic family dynamic. No wonder she makes me...

el-cee · el-cee

gingerfizz · gingerfizz

... by how much love and patience and gratefulness I have for the elderly man in my face-to-face group that shares for way too long and keeps acting like he is going to wrap up and then gets going again.

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

I was in the angry dumps this morning like real angry. I posted read codependent no more and still so angry. I went to a f2f and I say there at first feeling angry at me at AW at everyone in the room for being weak like me. But I sat there very still listening trying to breathe. It was a big meeting about 50 peopl...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

Last night AW went out with her gf And stayed over there while stayed at a friends house with our daughter. I ate and slept well. I also decided that hearing my kid cry and tell me to tell Mami to come home was a poor result of allowing AW to talk with her before bed. So no more. If she goes out we are gone for the n...

Lyne · Lyne

So yesterday I made my amends to my A. Typically she is not able to respond much to important, from the heart things, and she didn't. If someone made amends to me, I would be grateful and talk to them but my A is not capable of that. Can't get blood from a stone. I did my part and I am proud of that. But last n...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I have been through a lot these last 6 months. I have gone from leaving my verbally abusive AH because I had lost myself to the point where I was afraid I would end up hurting myself in a rage. I got a fun job, got into a great Church, got into alanon, this board, got into CoDa, and a family support group where m...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Had a strange realisation today. These past few weeks I've been kind of surprised at myself. I feel like I've turned a corner, and although other people's behaviour can still upset, anger or confuse me, it doesn't seem to CONTROL me anymore. Somehow, after trying and trying to "row alongside&q...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I will make this short! I will make this short! As you can see, I am repeating myself like it is constantly at home. My AH is either deaf or has a hard time listening to me. He says HUH a lot & it irritates me to no end. Usually by the time he says HUH he realizes what I said. He sometimes says " Bite Me!...

Mimi3 · Mimi3

heythere · heythere

I have been working on detaching from my addict son. This is a process for me, I just don't jump into things. I think, I test the waters, I swim in and see how far I can go. This is a necessary step for me, to recover some peace and necessary for him to do whatever it is he needs to do for his life. Co-depende...

oldergal · oldergal

I happen to think only God can love unconditionally. But then again, we all may have a different meaning of "unconditional love". If you have time your input on what it means to you, and is it mentioned in the Alanon literature? og

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

yesterday was a numbing day. All day at work I just kept thinking of how sad it is that AW has no chance of ever gaining my trust again. I chatted on MIP for a while and heard some very similar stories. It helped to hear that others have heard their loved ones say "you are the reason everything in my life...

AmyK · AmyK

Hey everyone, Im new here and am not really sure how it works. My husband and I have been together for four years. He was sober for 5 years and recently has relapsed. over the past month he has been in and out of AA and drinking/drugging. Im terrified for him and for our family. I am a stay at home mom of a 2 year...

farmerswife · farmerswife

my interview went well! She said she has to check my references but that's just a technicality I got the job, orientation Monday! A lot less money than I made as a nurse but itll do until I can get enough money to renew my license. As soon as she saw my references she said I have more experience than she does ....

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I grew up with a pain pill popping dad and my Mom was a dry drug addict and A for most of my childhood and she was emotionally and physically abusive. I am not looking for sympathy and have dealt with this part of my childhood and have forgiven and gotten through this. I say it to see if anyone can relate to me...

barbaralewis · barbaralewis

accept the things we cannot change: the financial whirlpool sucking us down as a result of trying to help (which we now recognize as enabling) our adult A children. accept that we cannot make our adult A son take care of himself by getting a drivers license and a job as his lawyer instructed him to do be...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, today I am in a pissy mood. Yes, that's right: pissed off. AH was off traveling and doing what he always does: drinks. I am always wondering when I get ready to set a boundary if I am doing it in the right frame of mind or not or if it's going to be perceived as punishment. I'm at the point again where I r...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everyone: I have been here benefiting from all of your generous shares, and enjoying the fellowship of this family for over a year now. I have not been posting much, responding some, but I wanted to share a bit tonight. My life started to change from the first moment I came to this site, found the onli...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Being retired and self employed has many benefits for me. Where I work in contract has me meet many travelers who vacation on my island home. I tend the grounds of a hotel and the center point is a inner garden that is beautiful...with bridges and pools and plants and trees and ...me. Today some vis...

farmerswife · farmerswife

Well my husband finally showed up this am rushing around trying to get a shower and off to work trying to keep his job since he's been partying for 48 hours straight. I told him I am done I cannot do this anymore I want a divorce. He showed no emotion except maybe a little anger he hasn't been working his step...

el-cee · el-cee

I am not sure of the difference between advice and suggestions. I want to work on how I share my progress and I know that in order to keep it you must give it away. I am aware that sometimes my replys can be a bit reactionary, certain posts can trigger my emotions and I can become a bit panicky for the person an...

ma belle · ma belle

I attend an Al-Anon group formed by Adult Children of Alcoholics. We moved into a new facility about six months ago and decided to split the rent with another Al-Anon group as our meetings are only in the morning and theirs are in the afternoon. This place was leased for a year and the contract will be val...

mongowal · mongowal

Talked to AH (left home 3 months ago) last night. When AH left he admitted how badly he had treated me over the last year and that he needed to get help. Three months later, he still has not attempted to get any sort of help. In our conversation last night I talked to him if he had any interest in workin...

texasgal · texasgal

Ive been on my own for a month slowly I've gotten into my work routine and doing positve things for myself but I still worry about my AH daily. On Sunday was a terrifying episode. He called me franitc that he couldn't breath. I went over to check on him he was throwing up so bad and hyperventilating. He was c...

SerenitySoon · SerenitySoon

I've been reading a lot about being in the moment (one second at a time), in various sources. Alanon approved, and Alanon helpful books, readings, and reflections. I've been putting it into practice by saying...be in the moment, be in the now, and let your HP guide you...well, I tried doing this and oh...

ssilver · ssilver

Hi. I'm new here and have attended a few face to face Al-Anon meetings, but have no sponsor yet. I'd like some feedback if anyone is offering. I have a long story and won't elaborate here, but last week I met with my doctor who is also my husband's GP. I've attended his appts for a few years as his health has d...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

For the past 24 hours I have been feeling more and more like I am in a good space. Today at around 3pm I started getting sad again thinking of how beautiful AW looked the day I decided to propose and the day we got married. I went over to a co worker and asked her to pray with me. She did and then said. I want you to...

milkwood · milkwood

This morning I lit a bonfire - we had a huge pile of clippings that needed clearing and I promised AH that I would keep the fire small and under control. The reason why this promise was required was because eight months ago he lit a fire in the woods and it got out of control - a ghastly experience involving...

farmerswife · farmerswife

Well I've come to a life altering decision that leaves me excited and terrified. I must leave my AH, although I love him dearly and truly believe he was my soul mate I can no longer live this way. I'm excited that I don't have to sit here and wander if he will come home how many days he will be gone if ill get the...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

Do not get so lost in the worth of others, that you forget the worth of yourself.

oldergal · oldergal

There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and the people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't.Life is too short to be anything but happy. Fallin...

Lyne · Lyne

Hello-So last night @ my F2F we discussed step 1. I shared that for 21 years I tried to change my spouse: crying, begging, pleading, talking, giving books and articles, meeting lists, and professionals to see. Guess how much of that worked? NONE! What did happen was a slow spiral downward for me,...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

hi all . . .you know my story so im not going there. im going to focus on me. i have been off work for two weeks as its been school vaca. . iyt if rountine, a bit odd in terms of tge stuff we did or didnt do. . .basically a fair to goid two weeks. today, back at work im crazy anxious and obssesding about my life with m...

PP · PP

I completed my stress test yesterday and it went well; hopefully I will have the results by Friday. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being at the peak of anxiety, I am at about a 2 regarding the results. I slept well last night and this morning I am on a slow roll with my coffee, fireplace and kitties. Whatever show...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

Tonight I went to couples counseling with AW. At counseling she went on a rant about how disgusted she was with my manipulation and lies. That's she was not a monster and that I wouldn't take her baby. That she would be home right after work everyday and all weekend. Then she told the therapist that she ju...

Jerry F · Jerry F

The evening new announced last evening that the US has admitted they have a large drinking problem. I was stunned (sarcasm)...said a prayer and turned off the (old) news. I'll do the jaded sarcasm today...you all can do something fun. (((((luv you all)))))

el-cee · el-cee

My sister has been having issues in her work and she has been reacting to situations, she has been anxious and full of resentment and I am actually really impressed with myself. I have been so talking Alanon to her and while doing so I have got a glimpse at my progress and how deep in my mind my recovery work...

deacon · deacon

I have learned so much from coming here and reading and listening. I am now realizing how much we enabled our son to follow an unrealistic dream. How we allowed him to avoid reality and even avoid growing up emotionally! Had we made him face the consequences of his actions after he finished college, had...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

Just for today I will be grateful that I have my beautiful daughters. They are healthy happy and well cared for. I will try not to project outcomes I have no control over. Just for today I will cherish the good memories that have been made. I will practice using my program tools so that when a challenging m...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

I used to go to a CoDA meeting a while back and really connected with the people there..After my Active A started drinking I finally went to quite a few Al-Anon meetings and met some very nice

mm830 · mm830

Okay, four months ago when I found MIP and dared to be myself, I read the promises and raised an eyebrow, well yeah I was skeptical. To say the least. But desperate. And I got more desperate. And finally I just turned it over because all of you are doing great and I was doing not so great. So, low and behold, i...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

I know so many of you in the Northern hemisphere are enduring an extremely cold winter. So I thought I'd show you where I spent this afternoon, and where I will be spending most every afternoon for the rest of my daughters summer holidays Come and visit lol. It's finally warming up here!

Struggling · Struggling

My boyfriend has been an alcoholic for nearly ten years. We have been together for around one. Three weeks ago he came out of a 28 day rehabilitation program. To my knowledge, at least when I have been staying at out apartment he hasn't touched a drop since, the way his is certainly implies he hasn't also...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

As of today, AW will come and go as she pleases now but I will do what I did before I knew where she was coming and going to. I will keep me and my child busy with other kids with friends and family that love and support us. I will ask for the minimum in boundaries for now like I don't know how about listening to yo...

ryanhearted · ryanhearted

I am reading daily, Courage to Change and Language of Letting Go. I'm trying to do 90 meetings in 90 days, and work got in the way of that. And I am frustrated. I'm trying to be gentle with myself and know that I am doing my best. But I've pulled in a 11 hr day yesterday, and a 10 hr day today, and tomorrow isn't l...

grateful2be · grateful2be

If you're trying to get any of us Midwesterners and east coasters to take pity on you wrapped pathetically in that afghan in ARIZONA!!, it's not happening.

Tricia911 · Tricia911

As I continue to take my inventory I have noted I react with sarcasm when I am hurt and don't know quite what to say. As I spent time with my mother I noted I learned it from a good source. Gotta work on that one. I thought I was being witty. But, as my mothers sarcasm stung me I realized I was actually hurting pe...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I can not understand why so many people are offended by just that fact. I wish more people had al-anon and can just respect that we are all individuals with different beliefs, thoughts and opinions and it does not have to take away or threaten them. I have many friends who are not traditional Christian...

Tricia911 · Tricia911

High Expectations are counter to my serenity. Now if I could just push the "expectations off" button!

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

So last night I stayed away from our place with our daughter. Predictably AW exploded with rage. How dare I take our daughter how dare I keep her away from AW. Everyone on MIP was right AW became a cornered badger when she was confronted by Friends and family with what she's done by leaving the night befor...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Yeah it's at least negative 20 degrees here and well that is just cold! Keep warm and stay safe everyone!

mm830 · mm830

Grrr, grr, lies. I guess if I expect bread from a hardware store then no shock when there is no bread. Duh. Oddly I have no desire to say anything about the issue, why would I expect different? To me this is big, big progress for myself. Why fight about it or feel disappointed or anything more than the I don'...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Letting go, a solid step (Preview) Have been working on letting my addict son go. Have not spoken with him since Monday and as the week wore on, it became apparent to me that most of the things he had said/promised since before Xmas were lies. I had been waiting to see if he had been telling the truth and wasn't surprised that it turned out...	heythere	11	315	Jan 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Thrown to the wolves (Preview) Well I have orientation for my new job tomorrow but I had my first day yesterday. An hour after they told me I got the job they called and said they need me to see a patient, so I spent 4 hours yesterday with a patient knowing no company policy very vague job description no patient information, but I didn't l...	farmerswife	6	339	Jan 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	Holding on to peace while AW gaslights (Preview) I just need to vent and also ask if any of you ever experienced a stage where your A began questioning you trying to get every detail of your life while giving no false information. Friday night predictably AW went out and stayed out at her gf's place. So I made arrangements to stay at a friends place with o...	TryingHard2013	4	395	Jan 12, 2014 by PP
	if I was a good person... (Preview) ... i would not feel like crying all the time ... i would not fight for love from others all the time ... i would feel proud for my achievements .... i would not be angry all the time ... i would become a mother right now ... i would make people around me happy ... i wouldn't feel invisible al the time ... my pare...	tortuga	13	554	Jan 12, 2014 by mm830
	Vacation (Preview) We are on vacation in Mexico. This day 6 of AH drinking non stop, which is longer any other time before and more strong. The sickness is so obvious. It is very open to kids now, they asked him to go to the doctor many times, but he refused. Don't want to write about all the damage during these days. We are all s...	Venera	6	347	Jan 12, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Cute (Preview)	el-cee	7	185	Jan 12, 2014 by el-cee
	Help needed to keep my hands off! (Preview) Happy new year everyone! I've been lurking and getting a lot of support from this board and my f/f meetings etc. Funny how yesterdayI expressed how thankful I'm for the things my H/P allow to come into my life and I say "thank you" and look for what I'm supposed to learn from it. Well today,...	Highlyfavored	7	290	Jan 12, 2014 by Jen61
	crazy-making boss (Preview) Well my ceaseless struggles with my dysfunctional boss ended today. I smelled alcohol around her this morning which explains just about everything that's happened between us over the last 3 months. So maybe she's both an alcoholic and in or around an alcoholic family dynamic. No wonder she makes me...	cwya	11	395	Jan 11, 2014 by cwya
	Don't call me a mug!!!! (Preview)	el-cee	6	162	Jan 11, 2014 by Wisdom67
	I realized last night that I can measure my serenity... (Preview) ... by how much love and patience and gratefulness I have for the elderly man in my face-to-face group that shares for way too long and keeps acting like he is going to wrap up and then gets going again.	gingerfizz	7	200	Jan 11, 2014 by grateful2be
	F2F meeting magic (Preview) I was in the angry dumps this morning like real angry. I posted read codependent no more and still so angry. I went to a f2f and I say there at first feeling angry at me at AW at everyone in the room for being weak like me. But I sat there very still listening trying to breathe. It was a big meeting about 50 peopl...	TryingHard2013	7	364	Jan 11, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Day 11- that burning in your chest is not love (Preview) Last night AW went out with her gf And stayed over there while stayed at a friends house with our daughter. I ate and slept well. I also decided that hearing my kid cry and tell me to tell Mami to come home was a poor result of allowing AW to talk with her before bed. So no more. If she goes out we are gone for the n...	TryingHard2013	13	419	Jan 11, 2014 by Breakingfree
	amends update (Preview) So yesterday I made my amends to my A. Typically she is not able to respond much to important, from the heart things, and she didn't. If someone made amends to me, I would be grateful and talk to them but my A is not capable of that. Can't get blood from a stone. I did my part and I am proud of that. But last n...	Lyne	3	173	Jan 11, 2014 by hotrod
	Happiest I've ever been but do I want more? (Preview) I have been through a lot these last 6 months. I have gone from leaving my verbally abusive AH because I had lost myself to the point where I was afraid I would end up hurting myself in a rage. I got a fun job, got into a great Church, got into alanon, this board, got into CoDa, and a family support group where m...	sadsusie	9	425	Jan 11, 2014 by grateful2be
	Melly, meet Melly. (Preview) Had a strange realisation today. These past few weeks I've been kind of surprised at myself. I feel like I've turned a corner, and although other people's behaviour can still upset, anger or confuse me, it doesn't seem to CONTROL me anymore. Somehow, after trying and trying to "row alongside&q...	Melly1248	25	506	Jan 11, 2014 by ClearTheFog
	repeating myself...can anyone relate? (Preview) I will make this short! I will make this short! As you can see, I am repeating myself like it is constantly at home. My AH is either deaf or has a hard time listening to me. He says HUH a lot & it irritates me to no end. Usually by the time he says HUH he realizes what I said. He sometimes says " Bite Me!...	Hoot Nanny	7	469	Jan 11, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	LOVED THIS! (Preview)	Mimi3	5	178	Jan 11, 2014 by neshema2
	Reflection & realization (Preview) I have been working on detaching from my addict son. This is a process for me, I just don't jump into things. I think, I test the waters, I swim in and see how far I can go. This is a necessary step for me, to recover some peace and necessary for him to do whatever it is he needs to do for his life. Co-depende...	heythere	7	201	Jan 11, 2014 by grateful2be
	Unconditional Love (Preview) I happen to think only God can love unconditionally. But then again, we all may have a different meaning of "unconditional love". If you have time your input on what it means to you, and is it mentioned in the Alanon literature? og	oldergal	8	556	Jan 11, 2014 by PP
	It's 3am and I must be lonely (Preview) yesterday was a numbing day. All day at work I just kept thinking of how sad it is that AW has no chance of ever gaining my trust again. I chatted on MIP for a while and heard some very similar stories. It helped to hear that others have heard their loved ones say "you are the reason everything in my life...	TryingHard2013	9	461	Jan 11, 2014 by mercedes1959
	new to the program. (Preview) Hey everyone, Im new here and am not really sure how it works. My husband and I have been together for four years. He was sober for 5 years and recently has relapsed. over the past month he has been in and out of AA and drinking/drugging. Im terrified for him and for our family. I am a stay at home mom of a 2 year...	AmyK	9	398	Jan 11, 2014 by yanksfan51
	update: interview went well (Preview) my interview went well! She said she has to check my references but that's just a technicality I got the job, orientation Monday! A lot less money than I made as a nurse but itll do until I can get enough money to renew my license. As soon as she saw my references she said I have more experience than she does ....	farmerswife	9	375	Jan 11, 2014 by cwya
	Long one spiraling around in my head lately......... (Preview) I grew up with a pain pill popping dad and my Mom was a dry drug addict and A for most of my childhood and she was emotionally and physically abusive. I am not looking for sympathy and have dealt with this part of my childhood and have forgiven and gotten through this. I say it to see if anyone can relate to me...	Breakingfree	10	283	Jan 10, 2014 by neshema2
	grasping and implementing the concepts, positive results (Preview) accept the things we cannot change: the financial whirlpool sucking us down as a result of trying to help (which we now recognize as enabling) our adult A children. accept that we cannot make our adult A son take care of himself by getting a drivers license and a job as his lawyer instructed him to do be...	barbaralewis	3	209	Jan 10, 2014 by Mimi3
	The "just for todays" (Preview) So, today I am in a pissy mood. Yes, that's right: pissed off. AH was off traveling and doing what he always does: drinks. I am always wondering when I get ready to set a boundary if I am doing it in the right frame of mind or not or if it's going to be perceived as punishment. I'm at the point again where I r...	ilovedogs	18	560	Jan 10, 2014 by Hope2000
	Update; new chapter is one week away (Preview) Hi Everyone: I have been here benefiting from all of your generous shares, and enjoying the fellowship of this family for over a year now. I have not been posting much, responding some, but I wanted to share a bit tonight. My life started to change from the first moment I came to this site, found the onli...	yanksfan51	9	469	Jan 10, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	Enjoying life.... (Preview) Being retired and self employed has many benefits for me. Where I work in contract has me meet many travelers who vacation on my island home. I tend the grounds of a hotel and the center point is a inner garden that is beautiful...with bridges and pools and plants and trees and ...me. Today some vis...	Jerry F	7	244	Jan 10, 2014 by el-cee
	Update, I did it (Preview) Well my husband finally showed up this am rushing around trying to get a shower and off to work trying to keep his job since he's been partying for 48 hours straight. I told him I am done I cannot do this anymore I want a divorce. He showed no emotion except maybe a little anger he hasn't been working his step...	farmerswife	16	422	Jan 10, 2014 by pinkchip
	Advice or Suggestions? (Preview) I am not sure of the difference between advice and suggestions. I want to work on how I share my progress and I know that in order to keep it you must give it away. I am aware that sometimes my replys can be a bit reactionary, certain posts can trigger my emotions and I can become a bit panicky for the person an...	el-cee	24	543	Jan 10, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
	meeting interrupted due to money issues (Preview) I attend an Al-Anon group formed by Adult Children of Alcoholics. We moved into a new facility about six months ago and decided to split the rent with another Al-Anon group as our meetings are only in the morning and theirs are in the afternoon. This place was leased for a year and the contract will be val...	ma belle	4	390	Jan 9, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Progress or enabling (Preview) Talked to AH (left home 3 months ago) last night. When AH left he admitted how badly he had treated me over the last year and that he needed to get help. Three months later, he still has not attempted to get any sort of help. In our conversation last night I talked to him if he had any interest in workin...	mongowal	10	342	Jan 9, 2014 by tiredtonite
	the disease (Preview) Ive been on my own for a month slowly I've gotten into my work routine and doing positve things for myself but I still worry about my AH daily. On Sunday was a terrifying episode. He called me franitc that he couldn't breath. I went over to check on him he was throwing up so bad and hyperventilating. He was c...	texasgal	8	409	Jan 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	In the Moment (Preview) I've been reading a lot about being in the moment (one second at a time), in various sources. Alanon approved, and Alanon helpful books, readings, and reflections. I've been putting it into practice by saying...be in the moment, be in the now, and let your HP guide you...well, I tried doing this and oh...	SerenitySoon	10	348	Jan 9, 2014 by ssilver
	support vs enabling question (Preview) Hi. I'm new here and have attended a few face to face Al-Anon meetings, but have no sponsor yet. I'd like some feedback if anyone is offering. I have a long story and won't elaborate here, but last week I met with my doctor who is also my husband's GP. I've attended his appts for a few years as his health has d...	ssilver	14	581	Jan 9, 2014 by ssilver
	This phase (Preview) For the past 24 hours I have been feeling more and more like I am in a good space. Today at around 3pm I started getting sad again thinking of how beautiful AW looked the day I decided to propose and the day we got married. I went over to a co worker and asked her to pray with me. She did and then said. I want you to...	TryingHard2013	11	512	Jan 9, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Sorry, just letting off steam! (Preview) This morning I lit a bonfire - we had a huge pile of clippings that needed clearing and I promised AH that I would keep the fire small and under control. The reason why this promise was required was because eight months ago he lit a fire in the woods and it got out of control - a ghastly experience involving...	milkwood	34	580	Jan 9, 2014 by Melly1248
	completly terrified (Preview) Well I've come to a life altering decision that leaves me excited and terrified. I must leave my AH, although I love him dearly and truly believe he was my soul mate I can no longer live this way. I'm excited that I don't have to sit here and wander if he will come home how many days he will be gone if ill get the...	farmerswife	14	400	Jan 9, 2014 by ilovedogs
	Words to help (Preview) Do not get so lost in the worth of others, that you forget the worth of yourself.	TryingHard2013	3	186	Jan 9, 2014 by ilovedogs
	Some Beautiful Words and A Prayer (Preview) There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and the people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't.Life is too short to be anything but happy. Fallin...	oldergal	7	384	Jan 9, 2014 by MorningGlory
	Thoughts on the steps (Preview) Hello-So last night @ my F2F we discussed step 1. I shared that for 21 years I tried to change my spouse: crying, begging, pleading, talking, giving books and articles, meeting lists, and professionals to see. Guess how much of that worked? NONE! What did happen was a slow spiral downward for me,...	Lyne	8	234	Jan 9, 2014 by MorningGlory
	just need some boosting up (Preview) hi all . . .you know my story so im not going there. im going to focus on me. i have been off work for two weeks as its been school vaca. . iyt if rountine, a bit odd in terms of tge stuff we did or didnt do. . .basically a fair to goid two weeks. today, back at work im crazy anxious and obssesding about my life with m...	Theoceancalls	13	412	Jan 8, 2014 by hotrod
	Update (Preview) I completed my stress test yesterday and it went well; hopefully I will have the results by Friday. On a scale of 1-10, 10 being at the peak of anxiety, I am at about a 2 regarding the results. I slept well last night and this morning I am on a slow roll with my coffee, fireplace and kitties. Whatever show...	PP	10	288	Jan 8, 2014 by mm830
	Acceptance and Freedom (Preview) Tonight I went to couples counseling with AW. At counseling she went on a rant about how disgusted she was with my manipulation and lies. That's she was not a monster and that I wouldn't take her baby. That she would be home right after work everyday and all weekend. Then she told the therapist that she ju...	TryingHard2013	16	375	Jan 8, 2014 by TryingHard2013
	Update!! ...lol (Preview) The evening new announced last evening that the US has admitted they have a large drinking problem. I was stunned (sarcasm)...said a prayer and turned off the (old) news. I'll do the jaded sarcasm today...you all can do something fun. (((((luv you all)))))	Jerry F	10	293	Jan 8, 2014 by neshema2
	I am spreading the word!!!! (Preview) My sister has been having issues in her work and she has been reacting to situations, she has been anxious and full of resentment and I am actually really impressed with myself. I have been so talking Alanon to her and while doing so I have got a glimpse at my progress and how deep in my mind my recovery work...	el-cee	5	322	Jan 8, 2014 by hotrod
	Lessons learned at al anon work with life's problems in general (Preview) I have learned so much from coming here and reading and listening. I am now realizing how much we enabled our son to follow an unrealistic dream. How we allowed him to avoid reality and even avoid growing up emotionally! Had we made him face the consequences of his actions after he finished college, had...	deacon	7	218	Jan 8, 2014 by hotrod
	Just for today (Preview) Just for today I will be grateful that I have my beautiful daughters. They are healthy happy and well cared for. I will try not to project outcomes I have no control over. Just for today I will cherish the good memories that have been made. I will practice using my program tools so that when a challenging m...	Mari1978	4	149	Jan 8, 2014 by hotrod
	Al-Anon meetings vs. Co-Dependency Anon. meetings..which is better? (Preview) I used to go to a CoDA meeting a while back and really connected with the people there..After my Active A started drinking I finally went to quite a few Al-Anon meetings and met some very nice	phoenixmagicgirl	5	1559	Jan 8, 2014 by abbyal
	Holy Wow it Works (Preview) Okay, four months ago when I found MIP and dared to be myself, I read the promises and raised an eyebrow, well yeah I was skeptical. To say the least. But desperate. And I got more desperate. And finally I just turned it over because all of you are doing great and I was doing not so great. So, low and behold, i...	mm830	12	293	Jan 8, 2014 by TryingHard2013
	To warm you all. (Preview) I know so many of you in the Northern hemisphere are enduring an extremely cold winter. So I thought I'd show you where I spent this afternoon, and where I will be spending most every afternoon for the rest of my daughters summer holidays Come and visit lol. It's finally warming up here!	Melly1248	10	271	Jan 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	Partner skipping AA. Advice greatly appreciated. Aa skipping skipping meetings missing aa lying worried after rehabilitation (Preview) My boyfriend has been an alcoholic for nearly ten years. We have been together for around one. Three weeks ago he came out of a 28 day rehabilitation program. To my knowledge, at least when I have been staying at out apartment he hasn't touched a drop since, the way his is certainly implies he hasn't also...	Struggling	11	7411	Jan 8, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	This moment (Preview) As of today, AW will come and go as she pleases now but I will do what I did before I knew where she was coming and going to. I will keep me and my child busy with other kids with friends and family that love and support us. I will ask for the minimum in boundaries for now like I don't know how about listening to yo...	TryingHard2013	11	386	Jan 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	Why is it so hard? (Preview) I am reading daily, Courage to Change and Language of Letting Go. I'm trying to do 90 meetings in 90 days, and work got in the way of that. And I am frustrated. I'm trying to be gentle with myself and know that I am doing my best. But I've pulled in a 11 hr day yesterday, and a 10 hr day today, and tomorrow isn't l...	ryanhearted	10	368	Jan 8, 2014 by Mari1978
	Note to CathyinAz (Preview) If you're trying to get any of us Midwesterners and east coasters to take pity on you wrapped pathetically in that afghan in ARIZONA!!, it's not happening.	grateful2be	24	642	Jan 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	Sarcasm is a personal defect (Preview) As I continue to take my inventory I have noted I react with sarcasm when I am hurt and don't know quite what to say. As I spent time with my mother I noted I learned it from a good source. Gotta work on that one. I thought I was being witty. But, as my mothers sarcasm stung me I realized I was actually hurting pe...	Tricia911	12	3436	Jan 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	God is my HP....... (Preview) I can not understand why so many people are offended by just that fact. I wish more people had al-anon and can just respect that we are all individuals with different beliefs, thoughts and opinions and it does not have to take away or threaten them. I have many friends who are not traditional Christian...	Breakingfree	10	257	Jan 8, 2014 by PP
	Expectation Management (Preview) High Expectations are counter to my serenity. Now if I could just push the "expectations off" button!	Tricia911	7	539	Jan 8, 2014 by PP
	Boundaries hold for the night and AW's anger returns (Preview) So last night I stayed away from our place with our daughter. Predictably AW exploded with rage. How dare I take our daughter how dare I keep her away from AW. Everyone on MIP was right AW became a cornered badger when she was confronted by Friends and family with what she's done by leaving the night befor...	TryingHard2013	11	455	Jan 8, 2014 by Breakingfree
	In response to Cathyinaz haha! (Preview) Yeah it's at least negative 20 degrees here and well that is just cold! Keep warm and stay safe everyone!	Breakingfree	11	303	Jan 8, 2014 by Breakingfree
	A Mixed Bag (Preview) Grrr, grr, lies. I guess if I expect bread from a hardware store then no shock when there is no bread. Duh. Oddly I have no desire to say anything about the issue, why would I expect different? To me this is big, big progress for myself. Why fight about it or feel disappointed or anything more than the I don'...	mm830	22	533	Jan 8, 2014 by ryanhearted
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.