Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Afternoon Everyone I have a whole lot of anxiety right now. Not because of my son but because of my cats. They are crated for the first time to try and retrain them to use the litter box again, to quit marking and get to know each other and not fight anymore. They are howling and trashing their crat...

dotandthekangaroo · dotandthekangaroo

I hope this isn't too controversial a question, but I really need some wisdom here: I was wondering if anyone might be interested in sharing stories of how they came to perceive the God of their particular understanding? I have long been interested in spirituality, but my understanding of God has alw...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hi everyone - I have been trying to lose weight this new year. I started with goals that were in five pound increments. I am finding that eating out is not easy and I have to start over a couple of days. I am not beating myself up, just one day at a time. I have also let go of a couple of friends, I am finding more p...

neshema2 · neshema2

I make no bones about how bad living with AH#1 was...He was a huge mistake...Its weird...Both of my fiances adn long term relationships ( I did not want to marry too young, wanted to put me in school and just did not want the trap my A mother was in....and I was afraid of men big time for obvious reasons) Bu...

Venera · Venera

So afraid to go to the first meeting, don't even know where. Afraid that people I know may be there, afraid to be a part of it, afraid to put my face... I don't know what needs to happened for me to attend it..

tortuga · tortuga

Since I have come to Al Anon (2012) and also very little before through therapy, I have come to realize, and still realize, my functioning, my triggers, my flaws. my defects. I have not always been aware of, some have functioned as a habit but now that I realize, i am shocked , yes, disgusted sometimes wi...

neshema2 · neshema2

Today I am Grateful for: My workouts are starting to show in my body , looks and I feel better exercising is making me more mellow my high school girlfriend's health tests came out "ok" I got an old client back and I see it working out very well this time, now I have the work I need I got a good deal...

mm830 · mm830

Last night I made the mistake of answering ASO's phone call, somehow I thought it would be him calling to be nice or something...well he called to puke up all his misery on me and blameshift. I have not been reacting as I once did except the little setback a few days ago. He ended up telling me that obviousl...

Daughter · Daughter

Hi friends, I have not been an active poster in the forums but have visited often when I needed to feel a sense of community or hear words of encouragement. I'm back again, and this time unfortunately it's because alcoholism has taken my mother's life. She passed away in a horrible car accident last Mon...

el-cee · el-cee

I am a grateful member of Alanon and one of the amazing gifts I have from this fellowship is the ability to be honest with myself and to own up to the defects I have, to a certain extent anyway, Im working on it!!!. Lately, I have felt my insanity surface and I have kind of tuned into it in a weird way and I can se...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Over the years, growing up in an alcoholic home, I had a propensity to compare my life to others. Facebook played a big role in that. The other day I was one and saw a bunch of happy status' and pictures of vacations and couples and car...

heythere · heythere

I posted a few days ago of the drama that started when my addict son got stranded and wanted me to come "rescue" him, after doing who knows what amount of pills, losing his id (and come to find out his back pack & whatever was in it, as well as having something happen to his face that looked li...

sad_dog_mommy · sad_dog_mommy

A light bulb went off in my head this morning. When my ABF is on an angry, drunken bender I act like a hostage. I am a little afraid while he is still awake and I try to be calm and quiet so that I do not 'disturb the beast'. I can finally relax when he passes out. Who would have thought a passed out drunk woul...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This is a nice acronym: is that the right word? Pray Until Something Happens! I heard this one at a meeting. Has anyone heard this one before? Let me know what you all think! Kathleen

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

When I feel the most pity for myself, I remember that there is a great wind at that very moment carrying me miraculously across the sky.

tortuga · tortuga

i don't know how, really, but today, i had this moment of letting go. and that gave me an incredible feeling of youth, energy, inspiration and hope. I struggled a lot these last days, because I kind of felt i was forced to let go. A also has become unavailable, as so many times before. I am currently far far...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

From CAS workers who have the experience from dealing with situations such as mine to the officers I met along the way to the angry lady at the court office behind the counter who sputtered she cant give out legal advice (poor woman probably needs a vacation) to the lady who gently guided me to the crow...

heythere · heythere

Hello I have been visiting this forum on and off for the last several months. Don't really feel qualified to participate since I am not actively involved in alanon at this time. But found many of the posts relevant to my situation and found that this site seems very safe. My son is an addict and has bee...

PP · PP

Last night there was a posting that was disturbing to me. I watched the responses and I saw the powerful unfolding of the al anon program in action. One of our community was hurt by another from this community and had the courage to bring it to the board for feedback. I was struck by the love and wisdom...

John · John

Letting Go (poem) To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization that I can’t control another. To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, which mea...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

OK, so I'm feeling alright in myself. I've turned a lot of corners lately. ABF (sorry, this is largely about his perplexing behaviour and how I relate to him) has been shocking; mean angry tantrums, name calling and blame, rages...over the top drinking...and then later it's all smiles and "I lo...

mongowal · mongowal

AH and I have been separated for 4 months now. I have been asking AH to make a decision to try to save marriage by going to counseling himself (he has been telling kids and myself that he need to see someone for depression and anxiety) and then him and I go to marriage counseling to resolve our issues (ther...

Jill · Jill

Five years ago a member of my family died from this disease. I asked for prayers here. People responded. Even though that was a long time ago, I still am comforted by the power of knowing people prayed for me. So grateful!

Lyne · Lyne

Last night at my F2F meeting, we had two newcomers. They looked scared and in pain and had not a clue what our meeting was going to be like. I saw myself so vividly. My first F2F meeting was at the end of June and I was so scared to be in the room with strangers. I listened to all the shares and when it was my t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

My MIP family: I felt those virtual hugs this morning before leaving for the courthouse; one of my very best friends from my childhood was right there with me (I told her this is the follow up to being my bridesmaid in 1991--haha), and it is surreal, but it's done and I am at least for now, ok! It was a littl...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

What to do? I am sooooooooo powerless these days! My cuz won't call to give me the latest news & my AH is driving me nuts! My husband is bound & determined to make me crazy! He is constantly(still) having me repeat things I say 2 or 3 times. OLD NEWS! & he curses like a sailor. This is a problem be...

lmyya · lmyya

Today I got my production report from work. I found out that my production for the past year is much higher than I thought it was. All other aspects of my work performance have been strong. That means I'm doing quite well, certainly better than I'd thought, and my upcoming review will go better than I...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It must be a full moon (oh it is :)).. I am also asking for prayers for my mom. She has surgery today, .. while the kids and I were out there 2012 my mom did something to her neck and back. I should say she further damaged her neck and back (of course .. LOL .. it's MY fault she got on that rollercoaster, never mi...

MissTee_xo · MissTee_xo

I'm new on here, I was told about the forum from my alcohol worker. She said it may help to talk to people who understand what I've been through/ what I am going through.. Alcohol has always been a major part of my life. My mother is an alcoholic, stepfather too. I started drinking at age 14 just to keep my m...

Sophie13 · Sophie13

Hi, I am new to this and I little nervous to be honest. I have been with my boyfriend now for 2 months but I have known him for about 3 years. He is a recovering alcoholic and has just recently come out of hospital after detox - this is when I started to see him. He has swore that he is going to change (which yes I k...

oldergal · oldergal

My son is not drinking but doesnt have a program. He has kids and a wife and he is sitting around and barely works, and the food is running low. I have money to get them food, but this sounds like enabling....but I feel sorry for the kids. Wife is looking for work, but hasnt had any luck. ESH please.......og...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everyone: I am heading to court today to finalize the divorce. In the middle of the night I received a text from H begging me not to do this. Well I guess I knew this wouldn't be easy. I pray now that there's no scene in court. I already feel all the support from my MIP family, and I appreciate it so much...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Monday was an awesome day .. made better by the fact STBAX accepted the deal .. woo hoooo! FINALLY .. I know he didn't have sense because his kid was going to have to testify against him .. it was the fact he was actually facing jail time if it went to court and even his atty was going .. you can't go to court fo...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

Went to couples counseling again yesterday. Always a good time. AW is now a dry drunk so she is way fun. Constant anger and attacks over how I made her get to this point and how she was helpless to stop me. No self reflection ZERO. The best is the therapist asks me to see it all from her point of view and I'm lik...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery STEP 10 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD. PLEASE JOIN IN AND SHARE http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t56282982/alano...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Today we believe God wants us to know that ...until you learn how to say 'no', you will never be able to fully say 'yes'. Unless you know how to set boundaries to form your safe space, you will always be concerned that saying 'yes' might put you in danger. So you will always pull back a little from saying...

mm830 · mm830

I could use a few extra prayers or kind thoughts if anyone could send some along.

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

My dad told me last night that my AM was in the basement, tripped and fell and hit her head..she's got a bandaid on her forehead. My dad said she had to get my brother to help her upstairs. My dad then told me that she called him(my dad) to tell him what happened and that "she had had too much too drink&qu...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning Everyone I haven't posted in a while and just need to I guess. I'm sick today...at home. I have COPD and when I get a cold it can be quite bad sometimes. What is bad? I can't talk For me to not talk is bad....lol My lungs and throat hurts...oh well poor me

I also been having proble...

zebrafish · zebrafish

I have a lot of trouble with holding on to hatred and anger towards people who have hurt me - especially my spiritual teacher. Even when things were still kind of "pristine" between us, meaning he had been like 99% nice and kind up to a certain point, I still had trouble because I'm a cult surv...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So I updated my avatar today. Last Thursday was the one year of anniversary of my AH's passing. I wanted to go away and be at a place that made me feel at peace- and this spot in my avatar photo is where I ended up (it's a lookout point in Kauai). I think I am finally at a point where I can start to give up the anger...

oldergal · oldergal

You should be honest and tell your little children/adult children that you used drugs/alcohol at one time... or not say anything about your past use? Are they going to say "well you did it!" or will your lessons learned impress them? ....og

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

If you are going through hell kept going the only way out is through.

Jozie · Jozie

Hey All... Was Sitting Rereading some of earlier Post, Seems they Help me See Growth and What I need to Work on, Something I have Always Loved about Writting... Just a Breif Update, HP has been Very Busy in my Grandkids Lives these Last 3wks since the Split, doing what HP Does... My Grandkids home is heat...

ssilver · ssilver

Well, I've been busy this morning reading and relating to all these posts. My meeting is tomorrow, and I am looking forward to it, but this forum is a tremendous resource for me, too. Thank you to all of you who offer such thoughtfulness and sincerity. I must be detaching. AH constantly complains/crie...

skahtul · skahtul

My wife is recovering from a pretty bad addiction to a number of different types of pain medication over the past 6 years (which started almost as soon as our beautiful twins were born). It's amazing how bad that stuff really can be. She has been clean for 30 days (just got her chip over this past weekend)...

el-cee · el-cee

I was wondering what denial is to you. For me denial was when I chose not live in reality, I chose to sweep hard facts under the carpet because they seemed too enormous to deal with. Denial for me was also the idea that I could change my alcoholic partner, if only I said the right thing or cooked the right di...

Jerry F · Jerry F

We celebrate this annually on the Big Island. The west side of the island and the east side meet center distance in the village of Waimea and we introduce ourselves and others and have discussions on topics and a special speaker, this time it was Tom our World Service Rep and we snack and eat and hug and...

1976love · 1976love

What a day, what a day. With all the progress I have made this episode can't drag me down. Even when the A is sober any little thing can trigger an "ism". Such as a son or daughter not living up to their expectations at church. My AH only wants to go to church when sober and I support him and go....

AmyK · AmyK

Here I am again, still home. I saidf my AH used/drank one more time I was taking the kids and leaving. Sure enough he came home in the middle of the night and thats exactly what he was doing. He gave me his usual speech I've been hearing over the past month and a half since he relapsed about how he is done and d...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My cousin who I mentioned yesterday is starting to give up! I went through this w/ her before last summer. I feel like I am totally powerless & helpless because she is hopeless or feeling that way anyway. I have to deal w/ the sadness right now. I am very present in her life. She called me this morning w...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I awoke just in time to get my 15 year old off to high school at 7:30 a.m., that is sleeping in for me. I came back home and put a healthy soup in the crock pot for dinner tonight. I swept the house and am now cruising online drinking my coffee and when I am done I am off to the gym. I have not a worry sitting on my sho...

Jerry F · Jerry F

was just on my mind as I spoke with my wife about Sunday's "Day in Al-Anon" event. It was triggered this time by language on the TV especially the word "Bitch". That reminded me that Sunday after the event was over one of the elder newcomers approached me with a question writte...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

This is frickin' torture. The slightest indication that he's had too much and my thoughts go haywire. He can't even be sick without me thinking it has to do with the alcohol. I was doing so well, but today I cannot manage to wrangle my thoughts. So frustrating!

mm830 · mm830

I have been doing a lot of reading and reflecting lately, and have come to realize that I feel more acceptance of who I am for where I am, mistakes flaws and everything than ever in my life. And more self acceptance as a result. So when they say acceptance is the answer to all of your problems, there is a silv...

texas yankee · texas yankee

My adult son has asked for some space as his life "crumbles around him" (his words) - according to him, I apparently bear some of the blame for his problems and situation and he feels bad whenever we talk - I haven't discussed with him whether him blaming me is reasonable or not - but I have hono...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My cousin has reappeared in my life since 2012. I love her dearly. It was a long time--probably 20+ years since we talked or even knew where each other were. Last night on the phone, I found myself sharing a bit too much. I trust her a lot but can I trust myself to not open up so much that I feel icky after I hang...

Hope2000 · Hope2000

Please keep me in your prayers, I stepped in and tried to control tonight and I fear I've made things worse. AH had been drinking heavily all day when he got the call a close family friend has passed. When he came by the house I knew he was upset. I knew he was drunk. He wanted to drive so I drove him. It was an 1....

heythere · heythere

After my addict son called and was stranded on Saturday (due to getting messed up on too many pills) I blocked his calls & texts because I wasn't going to his rescue and he can be relentless with calls and texts saying whats going to happen if I don't go along. So by sunday he had somehow gotten back to...

Lyne · Lyne

One thing, among many, that I am learning here with alanon, is that I will make mistakes, I will have setbacks, I am a human being, and I will never be perfect. I can accept and like myself regardless. After my set-back the other night, I went through the 3 A's, became aware, accept my limitations, and w...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Anxiety (Preview) Good Afternoon Everyone I have a whole lot of anxiety right now. Not because of my son but because of my cats. They are crated for the first time to try and retrain them to use the litter box again, to quit marking and get to know each other and not fight anymore. They are howling and trashing their crat...	Cathyinaz	32	1496	Jan 20, 2014 by Melly1248
	Help: God of my understanding? (Preview) I hope this isn't too controversial a question, but I really need some wisdom here: I was wondering if anyone might be interested in sharing stories of how they came to perceive the God of their particular understanding? I have long been interested in spirituality, but my understanding of God has alw...	dotandthekangaroo	13	676	Jan 19, 2014 by likemyheart
	Doing good things for me in the New Year, please share what you are doing for u (Preview) Hi everyone - I have been trying to lose weight this new year. I started with goals that were in five pound increments. I am finding that eating out is not easy and I have to start over a couple of days. I am not beating myself up, just one day at a time. I have also let go of a couple of friends, I am finding more p...	mercedes1959	11	446	Jan 19, 2014 by tiredtonite
	I guess even HE was a blessing to me (Preview) I make no bones about how bad living with AH#1 was...He was a huge mistake...Its weird...Both of my fiances adn long term relationships ( I did not want to marry too young, wanted to put me in school and just did not want the trap my A mother was in....and I was afraid of men big time for obvious reasons) Bu...	neshema2	12	453	Jan 19, 2014 by tiredtonite
	Afraid to go to the F2F meeting for the first time (Preview) So afraid to go to the first meeting, don't even know where. Afraid that people I know may be there, afraid to be a part of it, afraid to put my face... I don't know what needs to happened for me to attend it..	Venera	19	485	Jan 19, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	discovery and acceptance of my character flaws... (Preview) Since I have come to Al Anon (2012) and also very little before through therapy, I have come to realize, and still realize, my functioning, my triggers, my flaws. my defects. I have not always been aware of, some have functioned as a habit but now that I realize, i am shocked , yes, disgusted sometimes wi...	tortuga	7	2022	Jan 19, 2014 by tortuga
	What am I grateful for???? (Preview) Today I am Grateful for: My workouts are starting to show in my body , looks and I feel better exercising is making me more mellow my high school girlfriend's health tests came out "ok" I got an old client back and I see it working out very well this time, now I have the work I need I got a good deal...	neshema2	11	389	Jan 19, 2014 by neshema2
	Finding a little humor in the put downs (Preview) Last night I made the mistake of answering ASO's phone call, somehow I thought it would be him calling to be nice or something...well he called to puke up all his misery on me and blameshift. I have not been reacting as I once did except the little setback a few days ago. He ended up telling me that obviousl...	mm830	5	370	Jan 18, 2014 by Jerry F
	My AM just lost her life to this horrible disease - words of encouragement needed (Preview) Hi friends, I have not been an active poster in the forums but have visited often when I needed to feel a sense of community or hear words of encouragement. I'm back again, and this time unfortunately it's because alcoholism has taken my mother's life. She passed away in a horrible car accident last Mon...	Daughter	23	614	Jan 18, 2014 by grateful2be
	I'm glad I know I'm insane. (Preview) I am a grateful member of Alanon and one of the amazing gifts I have from this fellowship is the ability to be honest with myself and to own up to the defects I have, to a certain extent anyway, Im working on it!!!. Lately, I have felt my insanity surface and I have kind of tuned into it in a weird way and I can se...	el-cee	22	528	Jan 18, 2014 by beth1234
	No more Facebook experiment. (Preview) Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Over the years, growing up in an alcoholic home, I had a propensity to compare my life to others. Facebook played a big role in that. The other day I was one and saw a bunch of happy status' and pictures of vacations and couples and car...	slogan_jim	17	547	Jan 18, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	From the drama came something new! (Preview) I posted a few days ago of the drama that started when my addict son got stranded and wanted me to come "rescue" him, after doing who knows what amount of pills, losing his id (and come to find out his back pack & whatever was in it, as well as having something happen to his face that looked li...	heythere	11	533	Jan 18, 2014 by MorningGlory
	I behave like a hostage in my own home (Preview) A light bulb went off in my head this morning. When my ABF is on an angry, drunken bender I act like a hostage. I am a little afraid while he is still awake and I try to be calm and quiet so that I do not 'disturb the beast'. I can finally relax when he passes out. Who would have thought a passed out drunk woul...	sad_dog_mommy	15	717	Jan 18, 2014 by In The Forest
	PUSH (Preview) This is a nice acronym: is that the right word? Pray Until Something Happens! I heard this one at a meeting. Has anyone heard this one before? Let me know what you all think! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	5	214	Jan 18, 2014 by John
	When I feel the most pity (Preview) When I feel the most pity for myself, I remember that there is a great wind at that very moment carrying me miraculously across the sky.	TryingHard2013	5	303	Jan 18, 2014 by ryanhearted
	i dare to say, i am a little happy today! (Preview) i don't know how, really, but today, i had this moment of letting go. and that gave me an incredible feeling of youth, energy, inspiration and hope. I struggled a lot these last days, because I kind of felt i was forced to let go. A also has become unavailable, as so many times before. I am currently far far...	tortuga	7	432	Jan 18, 2014 by tortuga
	Seeing the world with a different set of eyes (Preview) From CAS workers who have the experience from dealing with situations such as mine to the officers I met along the way to the angry lady at the court office behind the counter who sputtered she cant give out legal advice (poor woman probably needs a vacation) to the lady who gently guided me to the crow...	Mari1978	14	411	Jan 18, 2014 by milkwood
	What does "letting go" mean? (Preview) Hello I have been visiting this forum on and off for the last several months. Don't really feel qualified to participate since I am not actively involved in alanon at this time. But found many of the posts relevant to my situation and found that this site seems very safe. My son is an addict and has bee...	heythere	18	2282	Jan 18, 2014 by John
	An option for handling sensitive issues that arise on the forum? (Preview) Last night there was a posting that was disturbing to me. I watched the responses and I saw the powerful unfolding of the al anon program in action. One of our community was hurt by another from this community and had the courage to bring it to the board for feedback. I was struck by the love and wisdom...	PP	34	1000	Jan 17, 2014 by canadianguy
	To Let Go (Poem) (Preview) Letting Go (poem) To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization that I can’t control another. To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, which mea...	John	14	7705	Jan 17, 2014 by Little Bird
	This must have come up a few million times before... (Preview) OK, so I'm feeling alright in myself. I've turned a lot of corners lately. ABF (sorry, this is largely about his perplexing behaviour and how I relate to him) has been shocking; mean angry tantrums, name calling and blame, rages...over the top drinking...and then later it's all smiles and "I lo...	Melly1248	33	664	Jan 17, 2014 by Little Bird
	Crazy Thinking (Preview) AH and I have been separated for 4 months now. I have been asking AH to make a decision to try to save marriage by going to counseling himself (he has been telling kids and myself that he need to see someone for depression and anxiety) and then him and I go to marriage counseling to resolve our issues (ther...	mongowal	8	292	Jan 17, 2014 by SpiderArcana
	Prayers from MIP (Preview) Five years ago a member of my family died from this disease. I asked for prayers here. People responded. Even though that was a long time ago, I still am comforted by the power of knowing people prayed for me. So grateful!	Jill	6	280	Jan 17, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Seeing myself (Preview) Last night at my F2F meeting, we had two newcomers. They looked scared and in pain and had not a clue what our meeting was going to be like. I saw myself so vividly. My first F2F meeting was at the end of June and I was so scared to be in the room with strangers. I listened to all the shares and when it was my t...	Lyne	5	330	Jan 17, 2014 by Little Bird
	Thank you all and update (Preview) My MIP family: I felt those virtual hugs this morning before leaving for the courthouse; one of my very best friends from my childhood was right there with me (I told her this is the follow up to being my bridesmaid in 1991--haha), and it is surreal, but it's done and I am at least for now, ok! It was a littl...	yanksfan51	10	430	Jan 17, 2014 by Breakingfree
	she's not calling & he is driving me crazy? (Preview) What to do? I am sooooooooo powerless these days! My cuz won't call to give me the latest news & my AH is driving me nuts! My husband is bound & determined to make me crazy! He is constantly(still) having me repeat things I say 2 or 3 times. OLD NEWS! & he curses like a sailor. This is a problem be...	Hoot Nanny	2	362	Jan 17, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Unexpected good thing happened (Preview) Today I got my production report from work. I found out that my production for the past year is much higher than I thought it was. All other aspects of my work performance have been strong. That means I'm doing quite well, certainly better than I'd thought, and my upcoming review will go better than I...	lmyya	10	448	Jan 17, 2014 by Breakingfree
	My mom .. (Preview) It must be a full moon (oh it is :)).. I am also asking for prayers for my mom. She has surgery today, .. while the kids and I were out there 2012 my mom did something to her neck and back. I should say she further damaged her neck and back (of course .. LOL .. it's MY fault she got on that rollercoaster, never mi...	SerenityRUS	17	849	Jan 17, 2014 by PP
	Newcomer feeling extremely alone. (Preview) I'm new on here, I was told about the forum from my alcohol worker. She said it may help to talk to people who understand what I've been through/ what I am going through.. Alcohol has always been a major part of my life. My mother is an alcoholic, stepfather too. I started drinking at age 14 just to keep my m...	MissTee_xo	15	616	Jan 17, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	My boyfriend is drinking again (Preview) Hi, I am new to this and I little nervous to be honest. I have been with my boyfriend now for 2 months but I have known him for about 3 years. He is a recovering alcoholic and has just recently come out of hospital after detox - this is when I started to see him. He has swore that he is going to change (which yes I k...	Sophie13	34	742	Jan 16, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	This Is So So Sad (Preview) My son is not drinking but doesnt have a program. He has kids and a wife and he is sitting around and barely works, and the food is running low. I have money to get them food, but this sounds like enabling....but I feel sorry for the kids. Wife is looking for work, but hasnt had any luck. ESH please.......og...	oldergal	22	546	Jan 16, 2014 by Jen61
	Prayers please (Preview) Hi Everyone: I am heading to court today to finalize the divorce. In the middle of the night I received a text from H begging me not to do this. Well I guess I knew this wouldn't be easy. I pray now that there's no scene in court. I already feel all the support from my MIP family, and I appreciate it so much...	yanksfan51	13	308	Jan 16, 2014 by Debilyn
	One down 3 more to go :) (Preview) Monday was an awesome day .. made better by the fact STBAX accepted the deal .. woo hoooo! FINALLY .. I know he didn't have sense because his kid was going to have to testify against him .. it was the fact he was actually facing jail time if it went to court and even his atty was going .. you can't go to court fo...	SerenityRUS	8	448	Jan 16, 2014 by el-cee
	Just venting (Preview) Went to couples counseling again yesterday. Always a good time. AW is now a dry drunk so she is way fun. Constant anger and attacks over how I made her get to this point and how she was helpless to stop me. No self reflection ZERO. The best is the therapist asks me to see it all from her point of view and I'm lik...	TryingHard2013	13	498	Jan 16, 2014 by el-cee
	STEP 10 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery STEP 10 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD. PLEASE JOIN IN AND SHARE http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t56282982/alano...	hotrod	1	196	Jan 16, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
	Messages... (Preview) Today we believe God wants us to know that ...until you learn how to say 'no', you will never be able to fully say 'yes'. Unless you know how to set boundaries to form your safe space, you will always be concerned that saying 'yes' might put you in danger. So you will always pull back a little from saying...	Cathyinaz	4	302	Jan 16, 2014 by milkwood
	Can you say a few prayers for me (Preview) I could use a few extra prayers or kind thoughts if anyone could send some along.	mm830	18	448	Jan 16, 2014 by milkwood
	A (scary) step in the right direction for my AM? (Preview) My dad told me last night that my AM was in the basement, tripped and fell and hit her head..she's got a bandaid on her forehead. My dad said she had to get my brother to help her upstairs. My dad then told me that she called him(my dad) to tell him what happened and that "she had had too much too drink&qu...	phoenixmagicgirl	4	329	Jan 16, 2014 by phoenixmagicgirl
	Good Morning (Preview) Good Morning Everyone I haven't posted in a while and just need to I guess. I'm sick today...at home. I have COPD and when I get a cold it can be quite bad sometimes. What is bad? I can't talk For me to not talk is bad....lol My lungs and throat hurts...oh well poor me I also been having proble...	Cathyinaz	10	487	Jan 16, 2014 by mm830
	Can't get over anger issues (Preview) I have a lot of trouble with holding on to hatred and anger towards people who have hurt me - especially my spiritual teacher. Even when things were still kind of "pristine" between us, meaning he had been like 99% nice and kind up to a certain point, I still had trouble because I'm a cult surv...	zebrafish	13	1307	Jan 15, 2014 by neshema2
	Moving Forward a Year After my AH's Passing (Preview) So I updated my avatar today. Last Thursday was the one year of anniversary of my AH's passing. I wanted to go away and be at a place that made me feel at peace- and this spot in my avatar photo is where I ended up (it's a lookout point in Kauai). I think I am finally at a point where I can start to give up the anger...	Green Eyes	7	357	Jan 15, 2014 by Jerry F
	What Do You Think? (Preview) You should be honest and tell your little children/adult children that you used drugs/alcohol at one time... or not say anything about your past use? Are they going to say "well you did it!" or will your lessons learned impress them? ....og	oldergal	9	409	Jan 15, 2014 by el-cee
	Biggest fear not so big after all (Preview) If you are going through hell kept going the only way out is through.	TryingHard2013	8	417	Jan 15, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Even in the Mess.... I Am Blessed... (Preview) Hey All... Was Sitting Rereading some of earlier Post, Seems they Help me See Growth and What I need to Work on, Something I have Always Loved about Writting... Just a Breif Update, HP has been Very Busy in my Grandkids Lives these Last 3wks since the Split, doing what HP Does... My Grandkids home is heat...	Jozie	4	443	Jan 15, 2014 by Jozie
	Definitions detachment codependency denial (Preview) Well, I've been busy this morning reading and relating to all these posts. My meeting is tomorrow, and I am looking forward to it, but this forum is a tremendous resource for me, too. Thank you to all of you who offer such thoughtfulness and sincerity. I must be detaching. AH constantly complains/crie...	ssilver	7	9797	Jan 15, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Trying to put my life in order and save our marriage. (Preview) My wife is recovering from a pretty bad addiction to a number of different types of pain medication over the past 6 years (which started almost as soon as our beautiful twins were born). It's amazing how bad that stuff really can be. She has been clean for 30 days (just got her chip over this past weekend)...	skahtul	21	590	Jan 15, 2014 by skahtul
	What is denial? (Preview) I was wondering what denial is to you. For me denial was when I chose not live in reality, I chose to sweep hard facts under the carpet because they seemed too enormous to deal with. Denial for me was also the idea that I could change my alcoholic partner, if only I said the right thing or cooked the right di...	el-cee	15	505	Jan 15, 2014 by Debilyn
	A day in Al-Anon (Preview) We celebrate this annually on the Big Island. The west side of the island and the east side meet center distance in the village of Waimea and we introduce ourselves and others and have discussions on topics and a special speaker, this time it was Tom our World Service Rep and we snack and eat and hug and...	Jerry F	3	293	Jan 15, 2014 by Debilyn
	we were only going to church? (Preview) What a day, what a day. With all the progress I have made this episode can't drag me down. Even when the A is sober any little thing can trigger an "ism". Such as a son or daughter not living up to their expectations at church. My AH only wants to go to church when sober and I support him and go....	1976love	6	638	Jan 14, 2014 by Debilyn
	still not leaving and feeling weak for it (Preview) Here I am again, still home. I saidf my AH used/drank one more time I was taking the kids and leaving. Sure enough he came home in the middle of the night and thats exactly what he was doing. He gave me his usual speech I've been hearing over the past month and a half since he relapsed about how he is done and d...	AmyK	21	563	Jan 14, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	she is starting to give up again... (Preview) My cousin who I mentioned yesterday is starting to give up! I went through this w/ her before last summer. I feel like I am totally powerless & helpless because she is hopeless or feeling that way anyway. I have to deal w/ the sadness right now. I am very present in her life. She called me this morning w...	Hoot Nanny	2	333	Jan 14, 2014 by PP
	Having a great day..... (Preview) I awoke just in time to get my 15 year old off to high school at 7:30 a.m., that is sleeping in for me. I came back home and put a healthy soup in the crock pot for dinner tonight. I swept the house and am now cruising online drinking my coffee and when I am done I am off to the gym. I have not a worry sitting on my sho...	Breakingfree	9	271	Jan 14, 2014 by hotrod
	Compassion (Preview) was just on my mind as I spoke with my wife about Sunday's "Day in Al-Anon" event. It was triggered this time by language on the TV especially the word "Bitch". That reminded me that Sunday after the event was over one of the elder newcomers approached me with a question writte...	Jerry F	7	1052	Jan 14, 2014 by ssilver
	sliding back a bit today (Preview) This is frickin' torture. The slightest indication that he's had too much and my thoughts go haywire. He can't even be sick without me thinking it has to do with the alcohol. I was doing so well, but today I cannot manage to wrangle my thoughts. So frustrating!	SpiderArcana	7	319	Jan 14, 2014 by karma13
	Acceptance (Preview) I have been doing a lot of reading and reflecting lately, and have come to realize that I feel more acceptance of who I am for where I am, mistakes flaws and everything than ever in my life. And more self acceptance as a result. So when they say acceptance is the answer to all of your problems, there is a silv...	mm830	6	257	Jan 14, 2014 by grateful2be
	Sometimes I forget about my son's problems - and then I feel guilty (Preview) My adult son has asked for some space as his life "crumbles around him" (his words) - according to him, I apparently bear some of the blame for his problems and situation and he feels bad whenever we talk - I haven't discussed with him whether him blaming me is reasonable or not - but I have hono...	texas yankee	6	456	Jan 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	my cousin...have I mentioned her before? (Preview) My cousin has reappeared in my life since 2012. I love her dearly. It was a long time--probably 20+ years since we talked or even knew where each other were. Last night on the phone, I found myself sharing a bit too much. I trust her a lot but can I trust myself to not open up so much that I feel icky after I hang...	Hoot Nanny	4	288	Jan 13, 2014 by mm830
	Prayers (Preview) Please keep me in your prayers, I stepped in and tried to control tonight and I fear I've made things worse. AH had been drinking heavily all day when he got the call a close family friend has passed. When he came by the house I knew he was upset. I knew he was drunk. He wanted to drive so I drove him. It was an 1....	Hope2000	27	502	Jan 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	I said there would be drama, and there is (Preview) After my addict son called and was stranded on Saturday (due to getting messed up on too many pills) I blocked his calls & texts because I wasn't going to his rescue and he can be relentless with calls and texts saying whats going to happen if I don't go along. So by sunday he had somehow gotten back to...	heythere	8	374	Jan 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	It's OK not to be perfect (Preview) One thing, among many, that I am learning here with alanon, is that I will make mistakes, I will have setbacks, I am a human being, and I will never be perfect. I can accept and like myself regardless. After my set-back the other night, I went through the 3 A's, became aware, accept my limitations, and w...	Lyne	5	312	Jan 13, 2014 by karma13
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.