Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

heythere · heythere

I posted a few days ago of the drama that started when my addict son got stranded and wanted me to come "rescue" him, after doing who knows what amount of pills, losing his id (and come to find out his back pack & whatever was in it, as well as having something happen to his face that looked li...

sad_dog_mommy · sad_dog_mommy

A light bulb went off in my head this morning. When my ABF is on an angry, drunken bender I act like a hostage. I am a little afraid while he is still awake and I try to be calm and quiet so that I do not 'disturb the beast'. I can finally relax when he passes out. Who would have thought a passed out drunk woul...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This is a nice acronym: is that the right word? Pray Until Something Happens! I heard this one at a meeting. Has anyone heard this one before? Let me know what you all think! Kathleen

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

When I feel the most pity for myself, I remember that there is a great wind at that very moment carrying me miraculously across the sky.

tortuga · tortuga

i don't know how, really, but today, i had this moment of letting go. and that gave me an incredible feeling of youth, energy, inspiration and hope. I struggled a lot these last days, because I kind of felt i was forced to let go. A also has become unavailable, as so many times before. I am currently far far...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

From CAS workers who have the experience from dealing with situations such as mine to the officers I met along the way to the angry lady at the court office behind the counter who sputtered she cant give out legal advice (poor woman probably needs a vacation) to the lady who gently guided me to the crow...

heythere · heythere

Hello I have been visiting this forum on and off for the last several months. Don't really feel qualified to participate since I am not actively involved in alanon at this time. But found many of the posts relevant to my situation and found that this site seems very safe. My son is an addict and has bee...

PP · PP

Last night there was a posting that was disturbing to me. I watched the responses and I saw the powerful unfolding of the al anon program in action. One of our community was hurt by another from this community and had the courage to bring it to the board for feedback. I was struck by the love and wisdom...

John · John

Letting Go (poem) To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization that I can’t control another. To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, which mea...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

OK, so I'm feeling alright in myself. I've turned a lot of corners lately. ABF (sorry, this is largely about his perplexing behaviour and how I relate to him) has been shocking; mean angry tantrums, name calling and blame, rages...over the top drinking...and then later it's all smiles and "I lo...

mongowal · mongowal

AH and I have been separated for 4 months now. I have been asking AH to make a decision to try to save marriage by going to counseling himself (he has been telling kids and myself that he need to see someone for depression and anxiety) and then him and I go to marriage counseling to resolve our issues (ther...

Jill · Jill

Five years ago a member of my family died from this disease. I asked for prayers here. People responded. Even though that was a long time ago, I still am comforted by the power of knowing people prayed for me. So grateful!

Lyne · Lyne

Last night at my F2F meeting, we had two newcomers. They looked scared and in pain and had not a clue what our meeting was going to be like. I saw myself so vividly. My first F2F meeting was at the end of June and I was so scared to be in the room with strangers. I listened to all the shares and when it was my t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

My MIP family: I felt those virtual hugs this morning before leaving for the courthouse; one of my very best friends from my childhood was right there with me (I told her this is the follow up to being my bridesmaid in 1991--haha), and it is surreal, but it's done and I am at least for now, ok! It was a littl...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

What to do? I am sooooooooo powerless these days! My cuz won't call to give me the latest news & my AH is driving me nuts! My husband is bound & determined to make me crazy! He is constantly(still) having me repeat things I say 2 or 3 times. OLD NEWS! & he curses like a sailor. This is a problem be...

lmyya · lmyya

Today I got my production report from work. I found out that my production for the past year is much higher than I thought it was. All other aspects of my work performance have been strong. That means I'm doing quite well, certainly better than I'd thought, and my upcoming review will go better than I...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It must be a full moon (oh it is :)).. I am also asking for prayers for my mom. She has surgery today, .. while the kids and I were out there 2012 my mom did something to her neck and back. I should say she further damaged her neck and back (of course .. LOL .. it's MY fault she got on that rollercoaster, never mi...

MissTee_xo · MissTee_xo

I'm new on here, I was told about the forum from my alcohol worker. She said it may help to talk to people who understand what I've been through/ what I am going through.. Alcohol has always been a major part of my life. My mother is an alcoholic, stepfather too. I started drinking at age 14 just to keep my m...

Sophie13 · Sophie13

Hi, I am new to this and I little nervous to be honest. I have been with my boyfriend now for 2 months but I have known him for about 3 years. He is a recovering alcoholic and has just recently come out of hospital after detox - this is when I started to see him. He has swore that he is going to change (which yes I k...

oldergal · oldergal

My son is not drinking but doesnt have a program. He has kids and a wife and he is sitting around and barely works, and the food is running low. I have money to get them food, but this sounds like enabling....but I feel sorry for the kids. Wife is looking for work, but hasnt had any luck. ESH please.......og...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everyone: I am heading to court today to finalize the divorce. In the middle of the night I received a text from H begging me not to do this. Well I guess I knew this wouldn't be easy. I pray now that there's no scene in court. I already feel all the support from my MIP family, and I appreciate it so much...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Monday was an awesome day .. made better by the fact STBAX accepted the deal .. woo hoooo! FINALLY .. I know he didn't have sense because his kid was going to have to testify against him .. it was the fact he was actually facing jail time if it went to court and even his atty was going .. you can't go to court fo...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

Went to couples counseling again yesterday. Always a good time. AW is now a dry drunk so she is way fun. Constant anger and attacks over how I made her get to this point and how she was helpless to stop me. No self reflection ZERO. The best is the therapist asks me to see it all from her point of view and I'm lik...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery STEP 10 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD. PLEASE JOIN IN AND SHARE http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t56282982/alano...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Today we believe God wants us to know that ...until you learn how to say 'no', you will never be able to fully say 'yes'. Unless you know how to set boundaries to form your safe space, you will always be concerned that saying 'yes' might put you in danger. So you will always pull back a little from saying...

mm830 · mm830

I could use a few extra prayers or kind thoughts if anyone could send some along.

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

My dad told me last night that my AM was in the basement, tripped and fell and hit her head..she's got a bandaid on her forehead. My dad said she had to get my brother to help her upstairs. My dad then told me that she called him(my dad) to tell him what happened and that "she had had too much too drink&qu...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Good Morning Everyone I haven't posted in a while and just need to I guess. I'm sick today...at home. I have COPD and when I get a cold it can be quite bad sometimes. What is bad? I can't talk For me to not talk is bad....lol My lungs and throat hurts...oh well poor me

I also been having proble...

zebrafish · zebrafish

I have a lot of trouble with holding on to hatred and anger towards people who have hurt me - especially my spiritual teacher. Even when things were still kind of "pristine" between us, meaning he had been like 99% nice and kind up to a certain point, I still had trouble because I'm a cult surv...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

So I updated my avatar today. Last Thursday was the one year of anniversary of my AH's passing. I wanted to go away and be at a place that made me feel at peace- and this spot in my avatar photo is where I ended up (it's a lookout point in Kauai). I think I am finally at a point where I can start to give up the anger...

oldergal · oldergal

You should be honest and tell your little children/adult children that you used drugs/alcohol at one time... or not say anything about your past use? Are they going to say "well you did it!" or will your lessons learned impress them? ....og

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

If you are going through hell kept going the only way out is through.

Jozie · Jozie

Hey All... Was Sitting Rereading some of earlier Post, Seems they Help me See Growth and What I need to Work on, Something I have Always Loved about Writting... Just a Breif Update, HP has been Very Busy in my Grandkids Lives these Last 3wks since the Split, doing what HP Does... My Grandkids home is heat...

ssilver · ssilver

Well, I've been busy this morning reading and relating to all these posts. My meeting is tomorrow, and I am looking forward to it, but this forum is a tremendous resource for me, too. Thank you to all of you who offer such thoughtfulness and sincerity. I must be detaching. AH constantly complains/crie...

skahtul · skahtul

My wife is recovering from a pretty bad addiction to a number of different types of pain medication over the past 6 years (which started almost as soon as our beautiful twins were born). It's amazing how bad that stuff really can be. She has been clean for 30 days (just got her chip over this past weekend)...

el-cee · el-cee

I was wondering what denial is to you. For me denial was when I chose not live in reality, I chose to sweep hard facts under the carpet because they seemed too enormous to deal with. Denial for me was also the idea that I could change my alcoholic partner, if only I said the right thing or cooked the right di...

Jerry F · Jerry F

We celebrate this annually on the Big Island. The west side of the island and the east side meet center distance in the village of Waimea and we introduce ourselves and others and have discussions on topics and a special speaker, this time it was Tom our World Service Rep and we snack and eat and hug and...

1976love · 1976love

What a day, what a day. With all the progress I have made this episode can't drag me down. Even when the A is sober any little thing can trigger an "ism". Such as a son or daughter not living up to their expectations at church. My AH only wants to go to church when sober and I support him and go....

AmyK · AmyK

Here I am again, still home. I saidf my AH used/drank one more time I was taking the kids and leaving. Sure enough he came home in the middle of the night and thats exactly what he was doing. He gave me his usual speech I've been hearing over the past month and a half since he relapsed about how he is done and d...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My cousin who I mentioned yesterday is starting to give up! I went through this w/ her before last summer. I feel like I am totally powerless & helpless because she is hopeless or feeling that way anyway. I have to deal w/ the sadness right now. I am very present in her life. She called me this morning w...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I awoke just in time to get my 15 year old off to high school at 7:30 a.m., that is sleeping in for me. I came back home and put a healthy soup in the crock pot for dinner tonight. I swept the house and am now cruising online drinking my coffee and when I am done I am off to the gym. I have not a worry sitting on my sho...

Jerry F · Jerry F

was just on my mind as I spoke with my wife about Sunday's "Day in Al-Anon" event. It was triggered this time by language on the TV especially the word "Bitch". That reminded me that Sunday after the event was over one of the elder newcomers approached me with a question writte...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

This is frickin' torture. The slightest indication that he's had too much and my thoughts go haywire. He can't even be sick without me thinking it has to do with the alcohol. I was doing so well, but today I cannot manage to wrangle my thoughts. So frustrating!

mm830 · mm830

I have been doing a lot of reading and reflecting lately, and have come to realize that I feel more acceptance of who I am for where I am, mistakes flaws and everything than ever in my life. And more self acceptance as a result. So when they say acceptance is the answer to all of your problems, there is a silv...

texas yankee · texas yankee

My adult son has asked for some space as his life "crumbles around him" (his words) - according to him, I apparently bear some of the blame for his problems and situation and he feels bad whenever we talk - I haven't discussed with him whether him blaming me is reasonable or not - but I have hono...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My cousin has reappeared in my life since 2012. I love her dearly. It was a long time--probably 20+ years since we talked or even knew where each other were. Last night on the phone, I found myself sharing a bit too much. I trust her a lot but can I trust myself to not open up so much that I feel icky after I hang...

Hope2000 · Hope2000

Please keep me in your prayers, I stepped in and tried to control tonight and I fear I've made things worse. AH had been drinking heavily all day when he got the call a close family friend has passed. When he came by the house I knew he was upset. I knew he was drunk. He wanted to drive so I drove him. It was an 1....

heythere · heythere

After my addict son called and was stranded on Saturday (due to getting messed up on too many pills) I blocked his calls & texts because I wasn't going to his rescue and he can be relentless with calls and texts saying whats going to happen if I don't go along. So by sunday he had somehow gotten back to...

Lyne · Lyne

One thing, among many, that I am learning here with alanon, is that I will make mistakes, I will have setbacks, I am a human being, and I will never be perfect. I can accept and like myself regardless. After my set-back the other night, I went through the 3 A's, became aware, accept my limitations, and w...

sadsusie · sadsusie

I had a bad couple of days followed by a great day and a great morning. I had not been in the zone of the program, then got back in and felt very resilient..up to about right now. Maybe this isn't so much as not being in the zone as just being sad and or scared for my AH. He was all liquored up yesterday and in...w...

Awaken · Awaken

Attended a meeting yesterday and shares on love really got me thinking Humm I really over the years wonder if I really knew how to love Can you love someone if you do not love yourself first? If you don't is it real love you are sharing? Is it control? is it dependence? Is it love of an idea of how thing...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have had a couple of thought provoking things come up recently and the court stuff is crazy .. while there is nothing new with that really there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I can share more once things have settled down a bit. I have learned a LOT in this process though and I am grateful for those...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I had posted a while back (Christmas I believe) about a friend of mine that was very ill. It didn't look good then...He hung in there for 3 weeks. He died today. It was gut wrenching. He was only 47 but had been diagnosed with lymphoma, then had 3 strokes, then blood clotting, then organ failure.......

ArtStudent1 · ArtStudent1

hi, i am doing an art project on the topic of alcoholism and would love to hear any information you may want to share on personal experiences if at all possible. i don't want to be naive on the topic and thoughts from friends/ family would be great too, many thanks for any participation :)

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Hello it's been a while since I been on here I think ! My memory has got worst . I'm still upstairs in my room I don't think I will ever go back downstairs and sleep with my sober A . I feel if I let that guard down it will be a set back for me . He still has not drank we made it to the holidays . I went to one meeting remi...

heythere · heythere

Have been working on letting my addict son go. Have not spoken with him since Monday and as the week wore on, it became apparent to me that most of the things he had said/promised since before Xmas were lies. I had been waiting to see if he had been telling the truth and wasn't surprised that it turned out...

farmerswife · farmerswife

Well I have orientation for my new job tomorrow but I had my first day yesterday. An hour after they told me I got the job they called and said they need me to see a patient, so I spent 4 hours yesterday with a patient knowing no company policy very vague job description no patient information, but I didn't l...

TryingHard2013 · TryingHard2013

I just need to vent and also ask if any of you ever experienced a stage where your A began questioning you trying to get every detail of your life while giving no false information. Friday night predictably AW went out and stayed out at her gf's place. So I made arrangements to stay at a friends place with o...

tortuga · tortuga

... i would not feel like crying all the time ... i would not fight for love from others all the time ... i would feel proud for my achievements .... i would not be angry all the time ... i would become a mother right now ... i would make people around me happy ... i wouldn't feel invisible al the time ... my pare...

Venera · Venera

We are on vacation in Mexico. This day 6 of AH drinking non stop, which is longer any other time before and more strong. The sickness is so obvious. It is very open to kids now, they asked him to go to the doctor many times, but he refused. Don't want to write about all the damage during these days. We are all s...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	From the drama came something new! (Preview) I posted a few days ago of the drama that started when my addict son got stranded and wanted me to come "rescue" him, after doing who knows what amount of pills, losing his id (and come to find out his back pack & whatever was in it, as well as having something happen to his face that looked li...	heythere	11	532	Jan 18, 2014 by MorningGlory
	I behave like a hostage in my own home (Preview) A light bulb went off in my head this morning. When my ABF is on an angry, drunken bender I act like a hostage. I am a little afraid while he is still awake and I try to be calm and quiet so that I do not 'disturb the beast'. I can finally relax when he passes out. Who would have thought a passed out drunk woul...	sad_dog_mommy	15	716	Jan 18, 2014 by In The Forest
	PUSH (Preview) This is a nice acronym: is that the right word? Pray Until Something Happens! I heard this one at a meeting. Has anyone heard this one before? Let me know what you all think! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	5	213	Jan 18, 2014 by John
	When I feel the most pity (Preview) When I feel the most pity for myself, I remember that there is a great wind at that very moment carrying me miraculously across the sky.	TryingHard2013	5	302	Jan 18, 2014 by ryanhearted
	i dare to say, i am a little happy today! (Preview) i don't know how, really, but today, i had this moment of letting go. and that gave me an incredible feeling of youth, energy, inspiration and hope. I struggled a lot these last days, because I kind of felt i was forced to let go. A also has become unavailable, as so many times before. I am currently far far...	tortuga	7	430	Jan 18, 2014 by tortuga
	Seeing the world with a different set of eyes (Preview) From CAS workers who have the experience from dealing with situations such as mine to the officers I met along the way to the angry lady at the court office behind the counter who sputtered she cant give out legal advice (poor woman probably needs a vacation) to the lady who gently guided me to the crow...	Mari1978	14	410	Jan 18, 2014 by milkwood
	What does "letting go" mean? (Preview) Hello I have been visiting this forum on and off for the last several months. Don't really feel qualified to participate since I am not actively involved in alanon at this time. But found many of the posts relevant to my situation and found that this site seems very safe. My son is an addict and has bee...	heythere	18	2269	Jan 18, 2014 by John
	An option for handling sensitive issues that arise on the forum? (Preview) Last night there was a posting that was disturbing to me. I watched the responses and I saw the powerful unfolding of the al anon program in action. One of our community was hurt by another from this community and had the courage to bring it to the board for feedback. I was struck by the love and wisdom...	PP	34	999	Jan 17, 2014 by canadianguy
	To Let Go (Poem) (Preview) Letting Go (poem) To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization that I can’t control another. To let go is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, which mea...	John	14	7617	Jan 17, 2014 by Little Bird
	This must have come up a few million times before... (Preview) OK, so I'm feeling alright in myself. I've turned a lot of corners lately. ABF (sorry, this is largely about his perplexing behaviour and how I relate to him) has been shocking; mean angry tantrums, name calling and blame, rages...over the top drinking...and then later it's all smiles and "I lo...	Melly1248	33	659	Jan 17, 2014 by Little Bird
	Crazy Thinking (Preview) AH and I have been separated for 4 months now. I have been asking AH to make a decision to try to save marriage by going to counseling himself (he has been telling kids and myself that he need to see someone for depression and anxiety) and then him and I go to marriage counseling to resolve our issues (ther...	mongowal	8	291	Jan 17, 2014 by SpiderArcana
	Prayers from MIP (Preview) Five years ago a member of my family died from this disease. I asked for prayers here. People responded. Even though that was a long time ago, I still am comforted by the power of knowing people prayed for me. So grateful!	Jill	6	279	Jan 17, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Seeing myself (Preview) Last night at my F2F meeting, we had two newcomers. They looked scared and in pain and had not a clue what our meeting was going to be like. I saw myself so vividly. My first F2F meeting was at the end of June and I was so scared to be in the room with strangers. I listened to all the shares and when it was my t...	Lyne	5	326	Jan 17, 2014 by Little Bird
	Thank you all and update (Preview) My MIP family: I felt those virtual hugs this morning before leaving for the courthouse; one of my very best friends from my childhood was right there with me (I told her this is the follow up to being my bridesmaid in 1991--haha), and it is surreal, but it's done and I am at least for now, ok! It was a littl...	yanksfan51	10	429	Jan 17, 2014 by Breakingfree
	she's not calling & he is driving me crazy? (Preview) What to do? I am sooooooooo powerless these days! My cuz won't call to give me the latest news & my AH is driving me nuts! My husband is bound & determined to make me crazy! He is constantly(still) having me repeat things I say 2 or 3 times. OLD NEWS! & he curses like a sailor. This is a problem be...	Hoot Nanny	2	358	Jan 17, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Unexpected good thing happened (Preview) Today I got my production report from work. I found out that my production for the past year is much higher than I thought it was. All other aspects of my work performance have been strong. That means I'm doing quite well, certainly better than I'd thought, and my upcoming review will go better than I...	lmyya	10	444	Jan 17, 2014 by Breakingfree
	My mom .. (Preview) It must be a full moon (oh it is :)).. I am also asking for prayers for my mom. She has surgery today, .. while the kids and I were out there 2012 my mom did something to her neck and back. I should say she further damaged her neck and back (of course .. LOL .. it's MY fault she got on that rollercoaster, never mi...	SerenityRUS	17	843	Jan 17, 2014 by PP
	Newcomer feeling extremely alone. (Preview) I'm new on here, I was told about the forum from my alcohol worker. She said it may help to talk to people who understand what I've been through/ what I am going through.. Alcohol has always been a major part of my life. My mother is an alcoholic, stepfather too. I started drinking at age 14 just to keep my m...	MissTee_xo	15	614	Jan 17, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	My boyfriend is drinking again (Preview) Hi, I am new to this and I little nervous to be honest. I have been with my boyfriend now for 2 months but I have known him for about 3 years. He is a recovering alcoholic and has just recently come out of hospital after detox - this is when I started to see him. He has swore that he is going to change (which yes I k...	Sophie13	34	741	Jan 16, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	This Is So So Sad (Preview) My son is not drinking but doesnt have a program. He has kids and a wife and he is sitting around and barely works, and the food is running low. I have money to get them food, but this sounds like enabling....but I feel sorry for the kids. Wife is looking for work, but hasnt had any luck. ESH please.......og...	oldergal	22	545	Jan 16, 2014 by Jen61
	Prayers please (Preview) Hi Everyone: I am heading to court today to finalize the divorce. In the middle of the night I received a text from H begging me not to do this. Well I guess I knew this wouldn't be easy. I pray now that there's no scene in court. I already feel all the support from my MIP family, and I appreciate it so much...	yanksfan51	13	307	Jan 16, 2014 by Debilyn
	One down 3 more to go :) (Preview) Monday was an awesome day .. made better by the fact STBAX accepted the deal .. woo hoooo! FINALLY .. I know he didn't have sense because his kid was going to have to testify against him .. it was the fact he was actually facing jail time if it went to court and even his atty was going .. you can't go to court fo...	SerenityRUS	8	447	Jan 16, 2014 by el-cee
	Just venting (Preview) Went to couples counseling again yesterday. Always a good time. AW is now a dry drunk so she is way fun. Constant anger and attacks over how I made her get to this point and how she was helpless to stop me. No self reflection ZERO. The best is the therapist asks me to see it all from her point of view and I'm lik...	TryingHard2013	13	494	Jan 16, 2014 by el-cee
	STEP 10 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery STEP 10 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD. PLEASE JOIN IN AND SHARE http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t56282982/alano...	hotrod	1	195	Jan 16, 2014 by WorkingThroughIt
	Messages... (Preview) Today we believe God wants us to know that ...until you learn how to say 'no', you will never be able to fully say 'yes'. Unless you know how to set boundaries to form your safe space, you will always be concerned that saying 'yes' might put you in danger. So you will always pull back a little from saying...	Cathyinaz	4	301	Jan 16, 2014 by milkwood
	Can you say a few prayers for me (Preview) I could use a few extra prayers or kind thoughts if anyone could send some along.	mm830	18	447	Jan 16, 2014 by milkwood
	A (scary) step in the right direction for my AM? (Preview) My dad told me last night that my AM was in the basement, tripped and fell and hit her head..she's got a bandaid on her forehead. My dad said she had to get my brother to help her upstairs. My dad then told me that she called him(my dad) to tell him what happened and that "she had had too much too drink&qu...	phoenixmagicgirl	4	328	Jan 16, 2014 by phoenixmagicgirl
	Good Morning (Preview) Good Morning Everyone I haven't posted in a while and just need to I guess. I'm sick today...at home. I have COPD and when I get a cold it can be quite bad sometimes. What is bad? I can't talk For me to not talk is bad....lol My lungs and throat hurts...oh well poor me I also been having proble...	Cathyinaz	10	486	Jan 16, 2014 by mm830
	Can't get over anger issues (Preview) I have a lot of trouble with holding on to hatred and anger towards people who have hurt me - especially my spiritual teacher. Even when things were still kind of "pristine" between us, meaning he had been like 99% nice and kind up to a certain point, I still had trouble because I'm a cult surv...	zebrafish	13	1306	Jan 15, 2014 by neshema2
	Moving Forward a Year After my AH's Passing (Preview) So I updated my avatar today. Last Thursday was the one year of anniversary of my AH's passing. I wanted to go away and be at a place that made me feel at peace- and this spot in my avatar photo is where I ended up (it's a lookout point in Kauai). I think I am finally at a point where I can start to give up the anger...	Green Eyes	7	356	Jan 15, 2014 by Jerry F
	What Do You Think? (Preview) You should be honest and tell your little children/adult children that you used drugs/alcohol at one time... or not say anything about your past use? Are they going to say "well you did it!" or will your lessons learned impress them? ....og	oldergal	9	408	Jan 15, 2014 by el-cee
	Biggest fear not so big after all (Preview) If you are going through hell kept going the only way out is through.	TryingHard2013	8	415	Jan 15, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Even in the Mess.... I Am Blessed... (Preview) Hey All... Was Sitting Rereading some of earlier Post, Seems they Help me See Growth and What I need to Work on, Something I have Always Loved about Writting... Just a Breif Update, HP has been Very Busy in my Grandkids Lives these Last 3wks since the Split, doing what HP Does... My Grandkids home is heat...	Jozie	4	439	Jan 15, 2014 by Jozie
	Definitions detachment codependency denial (Preview) Well, I've been busy this morning reading and relating to all these posts. My meeting is tomorrow, and I am looking forward to it, but this forum is a tremendous resource for me, too. Thank you to all of you who offer such thoughtfulness and sincerity. I must be detaching. AH constantly complains/crie...	ssilver	7	9654	Jan 15, 2014 by Breakingfree
	Trying to put my life in order and save our marriage. (Preview) My wife is recovering from a pretty bad addiction to a number of different types of pain medication over the past 6 years (which started almost as soon as our beautiful twins were born). It's amazing how bad that stuff really can be. She has been clean for 30 days (just got her chip over this past weekend)...	skahtul	21	585	Jan 15, 2014 by skahtul
	What is denial? (Preview) I was wondering what denial is to you. For me denial was when I chose not live in reality, I chose to sweep hard facts under the carpet because they seemed too enormous to deal with. Denial for me was also the idea that I could change my alcoholic partner, if only I said the right thing or cooked the right di...	el-cee	15	504	Jan 15, 2014 by Debilyn
	A day in Al-Anon (Preview) We celebrate this annually on the Big Island. The west side of the island and the east side meet center distance in the village of Waimea and we introduce ourselves and others and have discussions on topics and a special speaker, this time it was Tom our World Service Rep and we snack and eat and hug and...	Jerry F	3	289	Jan 15, 2014 by Debilyn
	we were only going to church? (Preview) What a day, what a day. With all the progress I have made this episode can't drag me down. Even when the A is sober any little thing can trigger an "ism". Such as a son or daughter not living up to their expectations at church. My AH only wants to go to church when sober and I support him and go....	1976love	6	637	Jan 14, 2014 by Debilyn
	still not leaving and feeling weak for it (Preview) Here I am again, still home. I saidf my AH used/drank one more time I was taking the kids and leaving. Sure enough he came home in the middle of the night and thats exactly what he was doing. He gave me his usual speech I've been hearing over the past month and a half since he relapsed about how he is done and d...	AmyK	21	558	Jan 14, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	she is starting to give up again... (Preview) My cousin who I mentioned yesterday is starting to give up! I went through this w/ her before last summer. I feel like I am totally powerless & helpless because she is hopeless or feeling that way anyway. I have to deal w/ the sadness right now. I am very present in her life. She called me this morning w...	Hoot Nanny	2	331	Jan 14, 2014 by PP
	Having a great day..... (Preview) I awoke just in time to get my 15 year old off to high school at 7:30 a.m., that is sleeping in for me. I came back home and put a healthy soup in the crock pot for dinner tonight. I swept the house and am now cruising online drinking my coffee and when I am done I am off to the gym. I have not a worry sitting on my sho...	Breakingfree	9	270	Jan 14, 2014 by hotrod
	Compassion (Preview) was just on my mind as I spoke with my wife about Sunday's "Day in Al-Anon" event. It was triggered this time by language on the TV especially the word "Bitch". That reminded me that Sunday after the event was over one of the elder newcomers approached me with a question writte...	Jerry F	7	1051	Jan 14, 2014 by ssilver
	sliding back a bit today (Preview) This is frickin' torture. The slightest indication that he's had too much and my thoughts go haywire. He can't even be sick without me thinking it has to do with the alcohol. I was doing so well, but today I cannot manage to wrangle my thoughts. So frustrating!	SpiderArcana	7	318	Jan 14, 2014 by karma13
	Acceptance (Preview) I have been doing a lot of reading and reflecting lately, and have come to realize that I feel more acceptance of who I am for where I am, mistakes flaws and everything than ever in my life. And more self acceptance as a result. So when they say acceptance is the answer to all of your problems, there is a silv...	mm830	6	256	Jan 14, 2014 by grateful2be
	Sometimes I forget about my son's problems - and then I feel guilty (Preview) My adult son has asked for some space as his life "crumbles around him" (his words) - according to him, I apparently bear some of the blame for his problems and situation and he feels bad whenever we talk - I haven't discussed with him whether him blaming me is reasonable or not - but I have hono...	texas yankee	6	455	Jan 14, 2014 by Jerry F
	my cousin...have I mentioned her before? (Preview) My cousin has reappeared in my life since 2012. I love her dearly. It was a long time--probably 20+ years since we talked or even knew where each other were. Last night on the phone, I found myself sharing a bit too much. I trust her a lot but can I trust myself to not open up so much that I feel icky after I hang...	Hoot Nanny	4	287	Jan 13, 2014 by mm830
	Prayers (Preview) Please keep me in your prayers, I stepped in and tried to control tonight and I fear I've made things worse. AH had been drinking heavily all day when he got the call a close family friend has passed. When he came by the house I knew he was upset. I knew he was drunk. He wanted to drive so I drove him. It was an 1....	Hope2000	27	501	Jan 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	I said there would be drama, and there is (Preview) After my addict son called and was stranded on Saturday (due to getting messed up on too many pills) I blocked his calls & texts because I wasn't going to his rescue and he can be relentless with calls and texts saying whats going to happen if I don't go along. So by sunday he had somehow gotten back to...	heythere	8	373	Jan 13, 2014 by Jerry F
	It's OK not to be perfect (Preview) One thing, among many, that I am learning here with alanon, is that I will make mistakes, I will have setbacks, I am a human being, and I will never be perfect. I can accept and like myself regardless. After my set-back the other night, I went through the 3 A's, became aware, accept my limitations, and w...	Lyne	5	311	Jan 13, 2014 by karma13
	Trying to detach but still really worried. (Preview) I had a bad couple of days followed by a great day and a great morning. I had not been in the zone of the program, then got back in and felt very resilient..up to about right now. Maybe this isn't so much as not being in the zone as just being sad and or scared for my AH. He was all liquored up yesterday and in...w...	sadsusie	7	406	Jan 13, 2014 by Beatrice
	Love??? (Preview) Attended a meeting yesterday and shares on love really got me thinking Humm I really over the years wonder if I really knew how to love Can you love someone if you do not love yourself first? If you don't is it real love you are sharing? Is it control? is it dependence? Is it love of an idea of how thing...	Awaken	11	637	Jan 13, 2014 by Cathyinaz
	Powerlessness .. (Preview) I have had a couple of thought provoking things come up recently and the court stuff is crazy .. while there is nothing new with that really there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I can share more once things have settled down a bit. I have learned a LOT in this process though and I am grateful for those...	SerenityRUS	12	624	Jan 13, 2014 by ryanhearted
	Really emotional... (Preview) I had posted a while back (Christmas I believe) about a friend of mine that was very ill. It didn't look good then...He hung in there for 3 weeks. He died today. It was gut wrenching. He was only 47 but had been diagnosed with lymphoma, then had 3 strokes, then blood clotting, then organ failure.......	pinkchip	22	522	Jan 13, 2014 by ryanhearted
	art student looking for any info about personal effects of alcoholism, please share if possible :) art project alcoholism personal experiences share (Preview) hi, i am doing an art project on the topic of alcoholism and would love to hear any information you may want to share on personal experiences if at all possible. i don't want to be naive on the topic and thoughts from friends/ family would be great too, many thanks for any participation :)	ArtStudent1	17	9665	Jan 13, 2014 by tortuga
	Attempt to attach (Preview) Hello it's been a while since I been on here I think ! My memory has got worst . I'm still upstairs in my room I don't think I will ever go back downstairs and sleep with my sober A . I feel if I let that guard down it will be a set back for me . He still has not drank we made it to the holidays . I went to one meeting remi...	Wisdom67	8	386	Jan 12, 2014 by cwya
	Letting go, a solid step (Preview) Have been working on letting my addict son go. Have not spoken with him since Monday and as the week wore on, it became apparent to me that most of the things he had said/promised since before Xmas were lies. I had been waiting to see if he had been telling the truth and wasn't surprised that it turned out...	heythere	11	356	Jan 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Thrown to the wolves (Preview) Well I have orientation for my new job tomorrow but I had my first day yesterday. An hour after they told me I got the job they called and said they need me to see a patient, so I spent 4 hours yesterday with a patient knowing no company policy very vague job description no patient information, but I didn't l...	farmerswife	6	377	Jan 12, 2014 by Jerry F
	Holding on to peace while AW gaslights (Preview) I just need to vent and also ask if any of you ever experienced a stage where your A began questioning you trying to get every detail of your life while giving no false information. Friday night predictably AW went out and stayed out at her gf's place. So I made arrangements to stay at a friends place with o...	TryingHard2013	4	441	Jan 12, 2014 by PP
	if I was a good person... (Preview) ... i would not feel like crying all the time ... i would not fight for love from others all the time ... i would feel proud for my achievements .... i would not be angry all the time ... i would become a mother right now ... i would make people around me happy ... i wouldn't feel invisible al the time ... my pare...	tortuga	13	597	Jan 12, 2014 by mm830
	Vacation (Preview) We are on vacation in Mexico. This day 6 of AH drinking non stop, which is longer any other time before and more strong. The sickness is so obvious. It is very open to kids now, they asked him to go to the doctor many times, but he refused. Don't want to write about all the damage during these days. We are all s...	Venera	6	383	Jan 12, 2014 by SerenityRUS
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.