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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> we were only going to church?
Post Info TOPIC: we were only going to church?
1976love


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we were only going to church?
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What a day, what a day.  With all the progress I have made this episode can't drag me down.  Even when the A is sober any little thing can trigger an "ism".  Such as a son or daughter not living up to their expectations at church.  My AH only wants to go to church when sober and I support him and go...only our children find it boring and rather not but when push comes to shove they listen to the parents.  So today our youngest didn't really want to go.  Expressed her feeling about it the whole way there.  Get there and the crying begins...they usher the children to "junior church" and the adults stay for the daily sermon.  In the middle of the sermon our child comes back in tears and expresses again they didn't want to be there.  And that was it...AH gets mad starts the name calling (ex spoiled brat, idiot, jerk) says when they need him watch who is there.  I told him to cut it out...Name calling is just as bad as physically beating.  When we get home he immediately leaves.  I look around and see all the laundry, cleaning and chores that went unfinished and I'm left with them all because someone can't handle expectations that were not met.  So I stopped and thought...You know what, I need a mental break.  Dropped the kids off at the grandparents went to a store to read a book I'm interested in and had quiet and peaceful time to myself.  I got a text at the store from my AH saying he had to leave so he didn't make an a** out of himself and he should be home around 3.  I replied back..."Yes I needed a mental break too.  Dropped the kids off with grandparents and am at the store reading a book by myself."  Well it's almost 5 and he's not home....Life carried on, Geeze...it was church?



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grateful2be


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Church is for those of us who realize we need the help of a power greater than ourselves and seek it wherever we can find it. Today, it sounds like you found what you were seeking outside the formal structure and confines of an established religion? (((1976))) Hope this evening is more peaceful for all of you.

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"Darkness is full of possibility." Leunig
Jerry F


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Love...the disease has no respect for territories or protocols other than was patronizes it.  It seems to be affecting everyone in your housewhole it comes into contact with...that is what it does and that is what it is suppose to do except when something changes.  Sad with you on this expecially regarding the children as they are actually pure victim without support.   Is Alateen available in your area?

((((hugs)))) smile



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1976love


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Thanks, and yes alateen is available however, it's and hour away on a Tuesday night and the older children have schedules that will blow your mind. In the summer it would be better. Maybe I should send them to a counsler while I have insurance for it.

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Mimi3


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~1976~

I'm glad that you to chose to take some "Me Time", good for you!

I hope your evening is better, Keep coming back!

Hugs!



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Cindy 
SerenityRUS


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Many companies offer something called employee assistant program (EAP). You can receive a certain amount of sessions for free. Not every company has this program it sure can't hurt to ask. My kids and I have been receiving counseling through it for months now. I looked for people who understood addiction and could see what was going on. They have been a wonderful support. I understand not being able to find alateen close by and have a similar issue with schedules. Any counseling is helpful .. it's a disease that defies logic. I'm very glad to hear you are taking care of you. Hugs ..

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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism.  If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown

"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Debilyn


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wow, this is where for me, I own this, I have a very strong boundary, no one, no one will or ever mentally abused my children and did not get a talking to from me.

I got a restraining order on the A for losing his temper in my home when my kids were little.ONE time. I know the scars that kids get easily. My own parents, well no one ever talked to me like that.

It is up to us to protect our kids, I invite you to look at boundaries and consequences for breaking the boundary.

When living with an abusive sick father, unless the counselor is also experienced in addiction, it is moot. The primary problem is dad's disease. Many places have alcohol and other drug ran by counties. We had a great one and had family meetings, and also all the families got together too.,

I saw what this behavior does to many children and adults. It is almost worse than physical abuse. When we hear it from our own parents, we believe it's true.

so glad you are here! I hope you find meetings, and keep coming here! sincerely,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
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