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Well I have orientation for my new job tomorrow but I had my first day yesterday. An hour after they told me I got the job they called and said they need me to see a patient, so I spent 4 hours yesterday with a patient knowing no company policy very vague job description no patient information, but I didn't let it get to me Although I've been a nurse for many years this isn't a nursing position I'm a caregiver so I did the best I could and by the end of my shift the client said, (please make sure they send you back) so I guess I did something right just have to hope I stayed within company policy. As for AH still haven't seen or heard from him, guess he decided not to go back to rehab glad I didn't hold my breath. His best friend is driving me nuts, has called past 2 nights in the middle of the night worried sick. He to is a recovering addict but has never been on the receiving end of the lies and manipulation so I understand his pain. I've hit him with as many al anon slogans as I could think of at 1 in the morning and tried to be there to listen even advised him to seek an al anon meeting, but the conversation always ends up in the same place with him begging me to make AH stop telling me only I have the power I explained that his wife couldn't make him stop and I cant make mine stop only AH himself has that power then he goes into please don't leave him it will put him over the edge he wont survive it, even though his wife leaving him is what finally made him hit bottom. I don't know how to help or deal with this, he is sitting up all night worrying driving his wife crazy calling AH repeatedly and enabling him taking him money (cause he calls saying he just wants to come home) I've advised al anon but really don't think there is any more I can do I let him vent but when he turns the conversation to me saving AH I have to cut it off that talk isn't good for my recovery he says he is not the meeting type so I doubt he will go to one I told him at least get some literature, visit the board all he can see is AH is self-destructing and all he can think is got to stop him he is completely deaf to hearing he has no control. Still dreading seeing AH I know its just a mater of time before he shows up but I will deal with that when it happens. As for now I made it threw yesterday today I am focused on getting threw today and tomorrow I will focus on getting threw tomorrow. Thanks for all the support, have a blessed day
Glad that the results of your caregiving were so positive for you. I, too, have experienced recovering As who haven't yet found their way into Al-anon where the rest of the work begins for them. I guess if it were me, I would put limits on what time my A's friend could call me or I'd simply say that Al-anon might be a good thing for him to check out to help himself deal with his friend's drinking. JADE when it comes to As friends, family members or mine helps me stay out of drama I can't afford. (((Fw)))
Good work on your job. You are a professional and that came through.
I hear you about the person who is calling constantly. Without program (even with program) many people cannot accept powerlessness. It is difficult You have explained your position now I believe I would just stop taking the calls I have disconnected my phone in the evening and screen my calls in the day. Your sanity and peace of mind are worth
You are doing great. Little by little people have dropped out of my life when I stopped being their "go to" when they needed to vent. It wasn't easy but it sure made a difference in my energy level. I recently said to a friend that some people, if we let them, will pick our carcass clean, leave us to dry up on the sand in the hot sun and move onto the next person. Sometimes they don't know better , they are just trying to survive. However, if I have provided some tools and stated what works for me and no movement is taken, I change the dynamics of the relationship. Even in my practice, I will not reschedule people who are not interested in moving forward and this is income for me! Those that will not take the steps to help themselves, don't want a different way of being and I won't be their food And, I wish you the best with your new job...yep, one day at a time!
-- Edited by PP on Sunday 12th of January 2014 11:03:56 AM
Farmers wife , you sound really good, your suggestions and approach to your husbands friends look like they have tested your own recovery in some way, I mean if you had been fragile you may have bought inot this way of thinking and joined the friend in the insanity but you didnt your acceptance of your powerlessness has came through in your post. I would stop listening to the friend now, he sounds a bit too involved to me and it may be more about his own issues here, like Hotrod says your serenity are worth protecting.x
Worked overtime huh? Please make sure you get the items you need from your new employer. I'd have question marks about their management after what they did...that can be a legal issue and could involved you personally also. You did good!! You are good at what you do...positive verification from a newbie in your life awesome. Learning to alter enabling into helping is great awareness I will go to those lessons everytime I can because my enabling often is knee jerk, default and will surprise me because my head is into helping and my behavior is enabling.
Make sure you secure your position and the job...there's no question you have the knowledge and experience and that takes care of you...they have to do their job also. Good post...Thanks. ((((hugs))))
so I did the best I could and by the end of my shift the client said, (please make sure they send you back) so I guess I did something right just have to hope I stayed within company policy. As for AH still haven't seen or heard from him, guess he decided not to go back to rehab glad I didn't hold my breath. His best friend is driving me nuts, has called past 2 nights in the middle of the night worried sick. He to is a recovering addict but has never been on the receiving end of the lies and manipulation so I understand his pain. I've hit him with as many al anon slogans as I could think of at 1 in the morning and tried to be there to listen even advised him to seek an al anon meeting, but the conversation always ends up in the same place with him begging me to make AH stop telling me only I have the power I explained that his wife couldn't make him stop and I cant make mine stop only AH himself has that power then he goes into please don't leave him it will put him over the edge he wont survive it, even though his wife leaving him is what finally made him hit bottom. I don't know how to help or deal with this, he is sitting up all night worrying driving his wife crazy calling AH repeatedly and enabling him taking him money (cause he calls saying he just wants to come home) I've advised al anon but really don't think there is any more I can do I let him vent but when he turns the conversation to me saving AH I have to cut it off that talk isn't good for my recovery he says he is not the meeting type so I doubt he will go to one I told him at least get some literature, visit the board all he can see is AH is self-destructing and all he can think is got to stop him he is completely deaf to hearing he has no control. Still dreading seeing AH I know its just a mater of time before he shows up but I will deal with that when it happens. As for now I made it threw yesterday today I am focused on getting threw today and tomorrow I will focus on getting threw tomorrow. Thanks for all the support, have a blessed day 
And, I wish you the best with your new job...yep, one day at a time!