The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My husband and I have been together for four years. He was sober for 5 years and recently has relapsed. over the past month he has been in and out of AA and drinking/drugging. Im terrified for him and for our family. I am a stay at home mom of a 2 year old and 6 month old. Today he told me he was going to an AA meeting and instead took money out of our bank account and is god knows where. I am scared he will die. Ive tried taking his keys, credit cards, pleading with him. Everytime he says hes done and appologizes and cries but does it all over again. I dont leave because I love him and want to be hopeful he will be sober but so far he hasnt shown that. I dont let him in the house when hes under the influence or let him be around the kids. I feel hopeless. I think hes done and then it happens all over again.
That's a lot to be going through. Alanon will help you. It's a life line thorugh all this uncertainty and chaos of being with an addict/alcoholic. There's no one right answer for you but alanon will at least have you knowing you are not alone. It will give you support. It will also give you faith and a inner strength to know you will be okay no matter what he does. At least that's why I see as the benefit of it. So for that, I hope you check out some Alanon meetings.
Thank you. I would love to get to meetings there are a few by me. The thing is I have no one to watch my children and we just recently sold my car to buy a bigger one and have not done that yet so we share a car right now.
Welcome to MIP. I hope you can find strength here. You can see from lots of other posts that a lot of other people are going through very similar things, so stay with us and you should be able to get some good ideas. We don't post advice in general, or at least try not to, but the one consistent piece of advice you will see is to go to some Alanon meetings. If you can, get someone to watch your kids and/or drive you. I know at my home meeting there are little ones there occasionally. If nothing else, you could look up Alanon in your city and call the number and they could possibly arrange rides or let you know if some meetings have any childcare available.
You have already started to experience the out of control panicked feeling that comes with this disease. With that understand you will soon come to the understanding that taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do for everyone: your kids, your husband, and YOU. Therefore admitting that we have no control over alcohol is our Alanon step 1. Yes, we have a 12 step program as well, which parallels the 12 steps of AA.
You can also get some books to help with this. One of the best is "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews. it isn't expensive, and can give you a very quick education on how alcoholism works. It is available on Kindle as well.
Stay with us, and you will find loads of Experience, Strength, and Hope that will help you grow to take care of you!
I'm glad you have found us. Many places have meetings with childcare. There are also often people who can give you lifts, especially after you've been to a few meetings and gotten to know people. But online meetings here too are good. There is definitely a way out of this mess and sadness. I hope you'll keep coming back.
you sound like me when I first entered the rooms of al-anon. Taking keys, credit cards, bargaining. I felt like I kept running into a brick wall. They will always find a way.
Al-Anon gave me a place to express myself around people who understood and eased my fears and anxieties surrounding my dad's drinking.
You are not alone here! You do have alot on your plate right now, so thank you for coming here to share with us!! I do hope you will try to find a way to go to an Al-anon meeting in your area, this is where my life began...you will be amazed at the help that you will receive, to learn how to have a good life whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not:) and there are 2 meetings a day on this site:) Keep Coming Back, you will find alot of Experience Strength & hope here Amy!
Thank you so much everyone. I cannot get out to a meeting tonight but I will be at the 9:00 one tonight. just from reading the board and for the responses I have hope. Thank you all again.
I started with online meetings as well and they, as well as this board where people share their experience, strength and hope, Alanon literature are all so very helpful. I have heard there are meetings that provide childcare also; I guess that depends on your area, I have heard of that but don;t have that option where I live. The online meetings are a great start and you came to the right place here where we have all either been where you are or are where you are but certainly understand where you are and support you.
