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Living with alcoholic spouse vs leaving
(Preview)
I am new to the Al-Anon community. My wife is an alcoholic. For the past several years her drinking, while consistent and excessive, has been open and not life altering. I am not a fan of the "High Functioning Alcoholic" label, but for lack of a better description, that was my wife. She o...
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kwas911
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12
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3726
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Open Heart Surgery
(Preview)
Hello Friends, Sorry I haven't been around in meetings lately however, I had to have a double bypass last Monday. Things are going as well as can be expected. It was one of the darkest and scariest moments of my life. So my message to you all is do not let the stress get to you. Stress is a killer. Take it...
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Andrea12
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7
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278
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Okay that was one CRAZY week
(Preview)
Hiya guys and gals, I am coming off a crazy week of chaos (courtesy my AH). 1. Suicide attempt w/ booze and pills----went to ER 2. released from ER zonked out on meds (sent home in cab and then he drove----crashed his car) 3.DWI 4.released from DWI hold, threatened suicide---went to crisis center 5....
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jillybean1
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7
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335
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The hangover...
(Preview)
Aloha Family...yes we also get to have "hangovers" and I have one now. I didn't remind myself of the outcome before we (my wife and I) listened to and talked with my grand-daughter. Her dad, my eldest son, has relapsed and pretty well nuked as many family members as he could in the proces...
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Jerry F
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12
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449
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SUNDAY MORNING SPIRITUAL MEETING 10 A.M. (EST) TOPIC IS: WHAT UNEXPECTED BLESSINGS HAVE I RECEIVED IN AL-ANON?
(Preview)
It was just there I always asked myself what was meant by " A Spiritual Awakening."I was so curious but nobody in Al-Anon could tell me about it. And then one day it happened in my life; my spiritual awakening was there! I don't know where it came from and I don't know how it came. It was just...
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Mimi3
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0
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164
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Awake again...share
(Preview)
I'm up again. It's after 4 am. It's been like this for a year now. I stopped my anti depressants last January, got off birth control and separated from my parents all within a span of 30 days. Some nights I would lie in bed terrified that someone was trying to kill me. In the spring I had a sleep paralysis epi...
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StargazerLily
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2
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351
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I feel like such a An.....
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Tonight, an al-anon friend invited me over as we were going to go to a movie, to celebrate my birthday, which was yesterday. I got on the road and they were so slippery that my tires were spinning. It would have been an hour before I go...
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slogan_jim
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16
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1479
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Called police on husband last night now feeling conflicted. *vent?*
(Preview)
Its been a few weeks since I've been on here, I've finally been able to get to f2f meetings but havnt been in a while since we just got back from vacation. Anyways, Last night my Husband and I got into a disagreement about finances, it did not escalate into an argument but it sure did leave him in a bad mood....
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AmyK
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16
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630
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Why do I bother to believe him!
(Preview)
Im tired of believing and trusting what my AH tells "Ill be back"! I know that he is not, and he knows that I hate when he lies, and he tells me every times "trust me"! I'm so tired of those words! Thursday I came home from work he was not home, and Friday morning on my way to work, I tex...
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NavySealWife
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10
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688
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What we could learn from our dogs
(Preview)
While this is not from CAL, I think it aligns well with the spirit of Al Anon and MIP and taking care of ourselves. If a dog was the teacher you would learn things like: When loved ones come home, always run to greet them; Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride; Allow the experience of fresh air an...
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KennyFenderjazz
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8
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223
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Strange
(Preview)
So last night I went out with friends from work. Had a great time, laughed so hard my stomach hurt a few times. I did have a few drinks. I didn't think once about what my AH was doing. He knew I wa going, I planned other arrangements for my kids since I can't depend on him. Came home, great mood, he of course had...
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Hope2000
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6
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339
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Hi I'm new here and pretty confused
(Preview)
To begin, I am dating someone who clearly has an addiction to alcohol. When we met two years ago I knew that he was a widower and he mentioned that when his wife passed away he took 6 months off from life and temporarily lost custody of his daughter. He said it wasn't like he was an alcoholic, he just self me...
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Snowflake74
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8
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465
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Ohh. That's what i wasn't seeing.
(Preview)
Finally understood what I have been trying to do for so long, and why it didn't work. And why I have been so freaking tired and sad for so long. See, I had accepted my powerlessness over someone else's drinking, gambling, whatever. I really had. Drink, gamble, whatever buddy. Do what you like. But I rea...
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Melly1248
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19
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795
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Here's my ostrich
(Preview)
Note that she now has her head OUT OF THE SAND and is standing near the water, LOL!
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ilovedogs
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19
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427
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update..
(Preview)
just checking in I'm walking steady. After beating myself up and reaching a very personal LOW last week, i stood up, worked hard on forgiving myself. Then I took the advice given here, and taking care of myself. Eating well, enjoying the process of cooking and tasting . Sleeping well, enjoying the...
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tortuga
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4
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287
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Relax, but annoyed!
(Preview)
I dont get how some wives of AH, can say " I just deal with my AH"! It just pisses me off, when I hear that! The wife of the guy my husband spend days at time at there home, lets her AH drink every single day and spend the money he makes on booze, that they dont have cable, or internet and no car. How is t...
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NavySealWife
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6
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392
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Spinning in circles...
(Preview)
I am new to this forum and i am trying to find online Alanon meetings that fit my time...i live in Italy, work at a military base as a teacher... My AH just returned from his second trip to rehab In the last year...he went in this second time almost a year to the day of his admission last year...this time arou...
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Lost72
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3
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356
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Social Settings
(Preview)
Here's another question...I am at an interesting spot in my AH's addiction process and all these things are coming up I have not dealt with before due to the progression of his disease. How do you tell him, without causing a fight, that you hesitate to be social with old friends bc he will get drunk and em...
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mccr
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4
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394
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preparing for a death of a loved one
(Preview)
Sorry I haven't been around much of this past few days...Called my bio mom's sister who favored me since I was born...She rescued me many times from her "sister" and her abuse, locking me in crates, My mama Aunt Helen would "free" me, change my filthy diapers, feed me, hold me an...
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neshema2
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12
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446
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Dry drunk
(Preview)
I found this video on a dry drunk because I did not no if my A sober husband was this so I figure I post it for others to see
http://youtu.be/hhZ2HFFuASY
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Wisdom67
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2
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254
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Please give input on intervention
(Preview)
we ( me, husband, adult A Dtr who is 6 months sober) would like to help our adult A son get into a state run rehab program. he is in denial, total denial, as his life is spiraling down the drain. no one in the family is enabling him financially. He lives in another state, and will soon be without a phone, has n...
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barbaralewis
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12
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526
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Question About Return To Site
(Preview)
Is there any way to flag a topic I want to return to when I sign on again as on other sites?
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OT71
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1
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199
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Its it normal that I dont care if he comes home or not?
(Preview)
Last night, I was at work and knew that I had some things to do before I went to my therapy with my therapist at 7pm. I was talking to my one of my four doctors I work for, and have grown to be very close to him and see hime as a father figure. I have told him the struggles Im having to deal and cope with my husband al...
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NavySealWife
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8
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595
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Sad sad diease
(Preview)
Hello today is like any other day just when I saw how happy and good my husband 1 year sober how the house had peace then 2 months ago the house became sick again , I think I had something to do with it . I have been staying away from my husband he has been not supporting me during my time of needs with other issue...
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Wisdom67
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6
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498
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INTIMACY QUESTION
(Preview)
Hello, New to this forum. I have a sex question. My alcoholic husband has been pestering me and been verbally abusive about not 'performing wifely duties' regularly for a few months. Problem is, I can't bring myself to do this when he is drunk. I just disgusts me. I have told him (when sober) that this i...
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mccr
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14
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539
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Can't do it anymore
(Preview)
My youngest daughter(47) is an alcoholic. She has hidden it over the years well, but in the last few years, it is evident. I finally confronted her last summer. She still calls me and pretends. I just can't do it anymore. I am getting too old(74), and have other rather stressful things going on with othe...
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lenii263
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9
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395
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why oh why i cant sleep
(Preview)
I was sleeping and then a nightmare woke me up. I wish my mindwasn't so active. This is when I say the senerity prayer to calm me down to sleep. I was thinking to start a gratitude thread to put healthy ideas in my head before I try to go back to bed. So thankful FOR Alnon friends and program For my wee kids wh...
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hopes314
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5
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304
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First World Problems....feeling blessed today
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, My name is slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. I am feeling very blessed today. The other day, I was feeling very low on myself because of my inflated ego and arrogant sense of self-worth. I was upset that I could have been doing more....making more....why me? blah blah. Then,...
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slogan_jim
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2
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167
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Great meeting yesterday but still feeling low.
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, My name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. Yesterday, I was at my home group meeting and I left feeling very special. After the meeting concluded, one of the members had made cupcakes for my upcoming birthday. We all sat down and enjoyed them and it was truly a great feeling...
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slogan_jim
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5
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312
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My car stolen in a Meeting!!
(Preview)
While at a meeting last night, I put my keys, phone and cup of coffee under the seat I was sitting in. A woman sitting behind me, quietly took my keys and left the meeting. No one in the meeting thought anything of it. I went outside about half way through it, not knowing my keys had been taken... walked int...
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John
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11
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633
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God Please help me to keep my mouth shut
(Preview)
Good Morning my family I have been saying the serenity prayer for a hour now. We here at work and have a co-worker that is driving us crazy. She is good at what she does......ONLY when she does it. Most of the time she fiddle farts around until the last few hours of the day and then she is SO SO busy she can'...
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Cathyinaz
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11
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717
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darn potholes
(Preview)
It was a mixed emotion type of weekend, alternating exhilaration over getting myself a little car, and buyer's remorse when I discovered several repairs that will not be cheap, plus the registration, emissions and insurance all due this week. There are a couple of things wrong with the car that...
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Raven Juniper
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5
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320
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Hanging in there
(Preview)
I haven't posted in a while - been feeling out of sorts. I'm very unhappy with my job. It's not the work - it's the micro-manager boss who loves to point out any little mistake. I am tired of her snide remarks. Being pro-active and taking my time looking for something - being careful this time so as not to ma...
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Rose50
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9
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388
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these doggone high chairs!
(Preview)
I am trying to sit in these terrible high chairs at the library! It is going to be hard from now on to write on this site. I am not being negative but I feel that the library is making it harder for me to sit here for the full hour they allow us daily. I have a really hard time writing on here on my tablet as I have s...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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180
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Deep inside of me wants me to write him a letter......
(Preview)
Deep inside of me , I want to write my AH a letter stating how I feel about his relaps, but another part of me tells me "NO, TAKE CARE OF YOUR EMOTIONS HE DONT CARE"!
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NavySealWife
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11
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364
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Happy anniversary to me
(Preview)
TWELVE years in recovery on Feb 15th....I looked it up, my first ever , afraid, post on this old site that is still open, but i had to ask the owner who is my dear dear friend..."hey what is my date..I know its in Feb. around the middle and he told me....he remembered b/c I came in his "room"...
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neshema2
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11
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848
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Good ole Socrates
(Preview)
"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, But on building the new." Socrates
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Beatrice
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1
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181
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Ugly stuff.
(Preview)
I really need prayers. Things have turned ugly here, so bad that I don't even want to share the details. Lets just say ABF went on a rampage. Or a bender I guess. he hurt us, terrified us. He hurt my girl. She cried in my arms, mum can we please leave him. OK. I sent her away to stay with a friend. Im missing her s...
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Melly1248
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24
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660
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I REALLY moved on
(Preview)
I told you all about I have 2 daughters...older one treats me great....younger one was mentally abusive to me., oh no she never touched me b/c even tho I am the older "lioness" I could still best her in a confrontation....but the mental/emotional abuse, the rollar coaster rides she had pu...
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neshema2
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9
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464
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Coming home to a empty house
(Preview)
My face to face meeting was canceled tonight due to the bad snow storm we are having, and I wish I was able to go to my second face to face meeting but I'm home alone again. Im getting to the point as if Im a single women and not a married women. To come home and clean the house, let the dogs out, feed the dogs, was...
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NavySealWife
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5
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739
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Church with my A
(Preview)
Hi. I understand this is not an advice seeking forum, but I could really use some ESH and any other insight you guys might have. I don't post often, but visit regularly and do respect the thoughtful and loving responses I read here. I go to f2f meetings (started in Jan) where there is no crosstalk, so spec...
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ssilver
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14
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470
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A rough winter!
(Preview)
I have a little pressure washing and painting business. I enjoy making things appear new again, refreshing them. And I'm good at it. It's how I make a living. This winter has been rough. Winters always are in this kind of business, but this year seems to be the slowest I have ever seen. I haven't ha...
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John
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9
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471
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pet photo shoot!
(Preview)
Yes. I have 6 pets and a fiancee. -- Edited by pinkchip on Friday 14th of February 2014 07:25:35 PM
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pinkchip
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14
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541
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We all survived .. lol
(Preview)
My anxiety was up some today .. the kids went on their visitation today. It was good. I'm glad .. it was a good time in terms of just long enough. He's dry drunking it .. even if he's not drinking .. he's definitely got behavior attached. Typical stuff with him asking questions and not listening to th...
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SerenityRUS
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2
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363
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My active AH wants my "support" because he is in so much pain yadda yadda
(Preview)
My Active Alcoholic Husband keeps telling me that he wants my support....proceed with the sob story of how hard life is.....How he has worked so hard for US....would DIE for me....meanwhile he has been out all night it is now 9am, and he is obviously loaded. I told him that I do not have the capacity to kn...
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sadsusie
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9
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465
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Something I became aware of today..
(Preview)
Awareness changes everything... I have endured anxiety my entire life.... and right now, my level of anxiety is very high in regard to a work situation.... as my day progressed, and I stayed busy with things needing to be done around my home... I was aware of feeling a 'tug' to contact my AS..... I have c...
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ladee
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12
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565
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Feeling sad tonight.
(Preview)
I went to a meeting out of town today. It was really good but I can't shake this kind of brain numb feeling, nothing will penetrate today, all the lovely wisdom in the room and I couldn't really really listen. I'm feeling sad and a bit lonely. Decided to visit an Art Gallery and thought I would cheer myself...
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el-cee
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14
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397
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I used to be that eagle...
(Preview)
Anthony de Mello told a story about an eagle... A man found an eagles nest w/an abandoned egg...he took that egg and put it in the chicken coop where the chickens were free roaming, but had their "nesting place" he put the egg in one of the nests and sure enough a loving fat hen began to lay on t...
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neshema2
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6
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382
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Ugh
(Preview)
I just need a friend today. It's been about a month since I really started standing up for myself with the A and it actually got better, or so I thought. Last night we were supposed to celebrate Valentine's Day I get this beautiful card and dinner. Well dinner went terrible. He started getting angry with...
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mm830
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10
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343
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alnon long termer - seek wisdom
(Preview)
I know marriages are not prefect with and without an alcoholic in the picture. I am going to see a lawyer to find out if I can survive on my own with 3 kids. I don't even have the money for the divorce. that does suck. I think I will have to wait until I get a job. Alnon does promise that we can be happy with the...
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hopes314
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11
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515
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He is having a mental crisis and I AM GOING INSANE?
(Preview)
He was out of the house, he called a friend of his and said he couldn't live anymore, he called me, sounded really drunk. He needed his sponsors number to get help. He said he just couldn't deal anymore, he would just jump off the hotel roof. I called police again. This time they got him to the crisis u...
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jillybean1
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8
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439
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Armchair Quarterback in need of ESH
(Preview)
I've been guilty of freely offering my advice whether it's asked for or not. I really need to write WAIT on both hands:) That said, I would very much appreciate ESH from you all here. I feel that I am unable to fully work my recovery with the active ABF living here. His FOO is several states away and he has bu...
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Raven Juniper
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7
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411
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Prince Charming in MY reality :-D
(Preview)
I'm sorry, I couldn't stop laughing when I saw this and I'm sure it reflects a lot of OUR prince charmings LOL
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Melly1248
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7
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404
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12 STEP POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD
(Preview)
ESHhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t56752460/step-12-alanon/
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hotrod
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0
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146
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Your Mind Is Like A Garden
(Preview)
You are always free to choose the content of your thoughts and the direction of your life. The one thing over which you have complete control is your inner life and your thinking. You can decide to think happy, fulfilling, uplifting thoughts that lead to positive actions and results. Or you can, by def...
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oldergal
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12
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651
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Bestest valentines day gift EVER.
(Preview)
For some reason, I've never received a valentines day gift, or card, or notice in the paper (I ALWAYS wanted one of those lol) and it's always made me just a little sad. Some silly teenage romantic notion that I have kept with me, I guess. Intellectually, I know it's silly, but emotionally, I have always...
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Melly1248
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5
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586
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It wasn't okay back then and it's not okay now
(Preview)
The lights have been flickering with the relationship I have and had with my Dad. He was Diagnosed bi-polar later in life I have tried to place all of the things in the past in a place of understanding. The kind where I realize I was a product of my raising. There is a wonderful outcome of knowing I can un lea...
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Mari1978
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10
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454
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New moments :)
(Preview)
I've had some HUGE clarity in the past 24 hours things I have been really struggling with just kind of fell away and I am extremely grateful for this new level of healing or whatever it is .. I like it! I had a little slip yesterday out of the blue I looked at the tramps divorce status .. I don't know why I did ....
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SerenityRUS
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3
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348
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I have a problem
(Preview)
Hi Everyone I'm writing this because I need help with me. It's not ( or maybe it is ) about my son or alcohol. I am getting sicker physically. I have COPD ( mild ) but it seems to be getting worse. I can't even walk across the room and pick up lint off the floor without getting out of breath. I can't take a...
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Cathyinaz
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13
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550
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I have been struggling
(Preview)
I am lonesome and bored right now which can always get me into trouble. I have 4 classes, a part time job, my almost 16 year old at home, but am feeling like maybe it is time to look into the love life again. I have picked some doozies for sure. God is always in control and I try to follow His lead humbly. I am not...
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Breakingfree
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7
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462
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