Spinning in circles... - Al-Anon Family Group

Lost72 · Newbie

Spinning in circles...

milkwood · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Lost72

This is a marvellous place full of people who really understand the lives that we are living and it has been a life saver for me. Since I am also living in a remote part of Italy I can relate to the feelings of isolation as one tries to cope whilst being so far from home.

There are two on-line meetings a day here where we can share our stories and chat. You can access them from the main board by clicking on the tab at the top of the page. Others will probably give you more details as well. They take place at 9am and 9pm EST time.

I love reading the messages here and have learnt so much from those who are generous and share their experience. I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this awful disease in your lives. It sounds as if your AH is getting some much needed help and this is a great time for you to reach out and get help for you as well. It is, in my experience, crazy making and as we learn new tools to cope, yes, I think that I can say that my life has become easier. It is a learning curve for sure! Although it is not at all intuitive for me to focus on my own health and happiness I found that was, and is, the very best thing that I could do - even if it was, initially, just to ensure that I was relatively sane and healthy for when our lives finally get back on track!

You are very welcome to private message me (just click on my name to the left) if you would like to get in touch - who knows we could be neighbours and end up starting our own al-anon network here! In the meantime, welcome to this very special and healing place. I hope that you will stay with us for a while.

KennyFenderjazz · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Lost, welcome to Miracles in Progress!

Most of us are familiar with that spinning in circles thing. It is due to the insanity the disease places into our loved ones, then the insanity of us reacting to it, quite often going down into a slow spiral until somebody says "what the heck am I doing? Enough!"

Your husband is in AA now. Have you pursued Al Anon? Here is the Italy page for Al Anon Wordl Service: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/gso-italy . If there are no meetings near you, or even if there are, we also have online meetings in the morning and evening. go to the chatroom page at http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html for the schedule. The evening meetings are going to be a bit late for you, but morning meetings would be around 1500 for you I believe.

Also, you can look around here for lots of others' Experience Strength and Hope. There are many good people who have been through a lot and come out the other side.

Al Anon, if you work it, will help get your head cleared and be able to answer for yourself if things will ever be normal, or is there a new normal, or do I need to make major changes for my own sanity?

I was just yesterday wondering what it would be if my AW would have become an alcoholic while we lived in Germany for three years. it would have been really rough, when you get sick, you want to pull in to your family and others in similar culture I think. Not to mention that it sounds like you are even more isolated, and alcoholism breeds isolation.

Please take full advantage of the resources I mentioned above, and keep coming back. Online may be the best way for you to be able to deal with this.

Peace

Kenny

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

hugs from afar!

Anytime we live with someone with a disease it is very difficult. The symptoms of that disease can tear our lives apart. I can tell you I had some wonderful years with my A before he relapsed. So would I ever think things will be like that again? I didn't believe so, when he got horribly abusive he left/I had him leave.

It was so bad I did not care if he had ten years of sobriety on program, I never ever wanted to live thru that again. Relapse sadly is part of being an A.

As they continue to use, their bodies are destroyed, they go into the different stages of Alcoholism.

For you MIP offers a chat room, meetings, this board, we also pm with each other.

YOu also are welcome to start an Al Anon meeting there if you feel you want to. You can get online and go to an Al Anon site, contact the contact person for guidance.

YES you can get to where you feel serene whether he is drinking or not. Especially if he is not abusive. I learned to love my A and developed stategies to be able to live with him as I loved him so very much for over 30 years. The smell, the wobbling, whatever I gave no energy, I loved his soul, his person. If the bad part came out, my strategies did. I did this for as long as I could till he got physically abusive. Sadly he had a brain surgery so had been damaged. His behavior got worse and worse.

sounds like your A is serious. I sure hope he can get on a program of recovery. it is not curable, they need AA the rest of their lives, their program has to come first. has to.

For you to be in Al Anon will make your relationship have a much, much better chance of you becoming comfortable and leaving his disease totally to him. totally. I would not have any conversations about my A's illness. i would say I am very sad you have to go thru this. and leave it at that. I made sure he knew I loved/adored him, however his disease was none of my business.

I hope and pray things go well for you both. keep coming! the meetings here are great! love!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.