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I went to an AlAnon meeting
(Preview)
I went to my first AlAnon meeting last night. It was very kind and loving and gracious and welcoming. But, I felt like my life is a nightmare of waiting for the next phone call police car jail blackout coke deal loss tears etc, while everyone there was so calm and optimistic. I of course realize tha...
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laurab
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7
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329
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Grateful
(Preview)
Just wanted to take a minute and speak to the positive side of recovery.
At 37 days sober, my daughter is saying please and thank you, asking about family members, telling me to drive carefully in bad weather, hugging and holding hands with her dad and I, taking NO for an answer, sharing her feelings....
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kabbie
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3
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195
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Where is
(Preview)
the photo page?
we have one don't we? thanks love,debilyn
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debilyn
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2
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294
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I am confused...
(Preview)
Dear ALL,
Hello. I am new to this site,new to Al-Anon and trying to find the new me...being the daughter of a drug addict and not too long married to an A without knowing it from day one makes me feel lost with mixed feelings and low self confident...I feel I am living my mother's life and it bother...
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Newme
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3
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237
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to everyone who responded to my post
(Preview)
i want to thank the few people who sent prayers and kind words,to me after the death of my dear father in law..it has been a rough month few weeks..first off i went on my cruise oct 8,on oct 9 my daughter who is 7 and half months pregnant went into premature,and was in the hospital for 2 days she is now on semi b...
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bev
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2
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330
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Taking advil PM to relax.... HELP!
(Preview)
Hi again. I wanted to share my story. My user name says it all... I am sensitive. VERY sensitive. As is my mother who is the alcholic in the family. She was bout 10 years older than I when she started to drink. (I am 32) and she was really upset bout work and then thought the booze would he...
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sensitive1
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7
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1384
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Miserable Day!
(Preview)
Today has been the worst day! My A came over last weekend and I believe he drank my son's codeine cough syrup and then watered it down. It was the consistency of honey and now it's like water. I am tired of questioning myself. He has every possible story in the book and swears up and down he didn't do it and I s...
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carolinagirl
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5
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246
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Perspective
(Preview)
Ok so last night was a miserable night. Today is better.
Last night I talked to my neice who is 20 and told her about the cough syrup dilemma. She just kept saying that she couldn't believe that he would steal medicine from a baby. I don't know why I found that amusing. I didn't even care that he took it I...
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carolinagirl
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1
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201
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Family members can untangle from a loved one's addiction
(Preview)
"I loved my husband. I thought I couldn't live without him," said Nancy L. "But I also hated him. I hated that he wasn't the husband or father I knew he could be."
At first, Nancy didn't recognize that her husband was drinking heavily and using marijuana and cocaine. However, she realiz...
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Phil
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1
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408
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Maybe Some Do Have a Reason
(Preview)
I have been reading all of the postings about how the A's always seem to have an excuse or a reason to drink. Most of them sound fairly absurd - and really are just excuses. My AW has never said why she feels like she has to drink, but I have a suspicion that I might know one of the main reasons.
...
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Juster
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6
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439
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Difference of Letting Go vs. Giving up
(Preview)
I came across this analogy of Letting Go vs. Giving up and thought I'd share.
In Thailand, they trap monkeys by tethering a coconut shell to a stake in the ground. They cut a hole in the shell just big enough for a monkey's hand and then put a piece of fruit in the shell. Then they hide and wait. A monkey w...
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Christy
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2
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351
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I almost died tonight
(Preview)
Yes,I was in a horrible car accident today at about 605pm.It was the scariest thing that has ever ever happened to me. I literally saw my life flash right before my eyes.
Ok I was getting onto the fwy and there was a red light as I got on I saw a puddle of water from a nearby sprinkler I went over the water and...
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Lauren ashley
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18
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551
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Nov AlAnon convention in NH, AA w/AlAnon in MA - anyone going?
(Preview)
Anyone planning on attending either the AlAnon convention in Nashua NH? or the AA w/AlAnon convention in Framingham MA this Nov? Havent heard too much about it. Havent heard about it in my f2f either
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Barbara
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2
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276
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Boy Scouting and Booze
(Preview)
((((Everyone))))
I survived the camp out ...and so did my program. I sit here and shake my head in unbelief, it was wonderful, insane, joyful, sickening and pleasant -- talk about a rollercoaster. Ah well, I learned a lot and have been wondering what my HP was trying to show me.
...
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Lunamoth
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8
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427
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Filing Charges against my husband
(Preview)
Hello Dear Friends,
Well it is 3:30 in the morning and I just can't sleep....so much has happened these past few days.....I am finding things out that my husband did to me every day...and it is not a good thing....
To date, I have received 3 letters from magistrates, he stole my check book and so...
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Andrea12
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14
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495
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Isabela??? Or.arty???
(Preview)
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debilyn
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2
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220
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farewell party
(Preview)
Well my Ah is away for one week and instead of spending his last night home with me he was out till 4 am at our local bar. Up and left without a word. Will have to work hard on my own program not to sit on the pity pot too long. Hard not to feel bad since he had been trying so hard to control his d...
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Elizabeth M
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2
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241
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What is going on with me?
(Preview)
A while back somebody posted questions that they had learned to ask themself. I found this an excellent source to use during times of confusion.
So what is going on with me?
I'm trapped between having the need to feel hurt but at the same time know that good can come from this situation. ...
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Cilla
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1
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329
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HP is talking...am I listening?
(Preview)
Absolutely!!!
3 things in the past couple of weeks have been on my mind with regard to taking care of myself.
1) Losing weight
I have been trying to decide about a program that I used to do online. It is based on
a book called "Potatoes Not Prozac". It is for healing addiction with nutritio...
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Gailey
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1
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226
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being accused
(Preview)
I am tired of my A accusing me of lying and haveing an internet affair. saying im doing things i havent dont.
Im losing my mind. I deep down wanna leave but am scared and afraid.
IM so ashamed of me.
I do nothing and im no good.
I do all the house chores etc
says i give my daughter money when i d...
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purplebutterfly
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6
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247
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Boundaries Boundaries Boundaries
(Preview)
On top of the A who collects chaos by the second, I also have to deal with a dysfunctional workplace.
I work in a corporation and they tend to hire college age kids who don't have work experience. They then sort of train them by immersion. I work part time in 2 locations stepping in for the m...
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maresie2
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3
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228
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What would you do?
(Preview)
Hi all,
Have a question. I have never given birth to a child. Have raised one and I know I would go to the ends of the earth for her. I can't imagine how things would be for a child I had carried and birthed.
So, here is my question. My A stepdaughter has been in trouble more tha...
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lilms
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8
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311
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I'm so scared. I need courage.
(Preview)
I'm new.
My A is my 29 year old son. Finally after 6 years of my enabling in every way I could, thousands of dollars, police, lawyers, smashed cars and no real consequences, he is up against it alone. I hope it is the bottom, but I'm not certain. His wife is gone. He lost his house. He has no money. He...
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laurab
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8
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535
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Well... probably no better time to work on my 4th
(Preview)
((((Everyone))))
Since our seperation a scant 5 days ago, there has been panic attacks about being alone, threats of suicide, tears and begging to just work out her sobriety together and finally she has already said she is getting to not want to come home and wants the number to our EAP so she can cont...
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rtexas
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7
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369
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MIP cookbooks...
(Preview)
Just wondered, any news about the cookbooks? Maybe I missed it on the board...
Thanks,
Kathi
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lmt123
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1
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218
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Interview
(Preview)
Okay it was a wonderful interview!!! I WOWED him!!! I have a ride along tomorrow and an interview after that to see if this is what I want to do and if they want me!!!!
Hugs Mary -- Edited by marmare at 21:14, 2006-10-25
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marmare
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9
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289
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I need to share this..
(Preview)
My daughter was critically injured in a car accident. Her best friend was killed and my daughter and another friend were in bed, wheelchairs, cruthes, surgeries for over 2 1/2 years. Physically my daughter can now walk and is doing ok. Looking back i suspect that she became addic...
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greta
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7
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412
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LIVING A LIE
(Preview)
Hi Roomies
I don't quite know how to start this, so I will just be Ally, and come right out with it. Someone came into the chat room the other night and said "the acoa meeting is just about to start, is anyone comming in. So the chat room was quiet, and I went in. I had been in a few times already before, I list...
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ally
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10
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536
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laurab----private message
(Preview)
I sent you a private message. you can retrieve that by looking at the top of the index page.
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Gailey
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0
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224
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barely there
(Preview)
i was dealing pretty good with my hub an A. Was going back to school, figured if he works out his end, we' d have a good life. He increasely drank more each year of 18 years together. 2 kids. 2 dogs. Last 2 weeks I found out he cheated on me. He was so drunk & telling someone on th...
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DeAnna
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5
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243
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In a funky mood today
(Preview)
Woke up this morning in a great mood. Went to work I got an email from my A first thing this morning, so I was feeling a little vunerable. Then a little while later I got a call from mom asked me to go to lunch so I said sure that would be fun. My mom and I have a strange re...
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DoN4me
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5
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256
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Lack of Trust
(Preview)
Greetings all!
let me tell ya my story. my mother started to drink when I was 14/15 and became a full time drinker when I was 16. Before then she was a warm loving quiet person. But now she is cold and her life is all bout the booze. Well this has hurt me of course and it has allowed me to N...
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sensitive1
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3
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252
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My life is unmanageable
(Preview)
Just left work to go to a podiatrist appointment and when I got there I found out the appointment was last Wednesday. She is not even in the office on Tuesday. Luckily, I could reschedule for tomorrow and the receptionist didn't say anything about charging me for a missed appointment.
I really nee...
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Gailey
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4
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391
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I think I accomplished something
(Preview)
Hello (((everyone)))
3 days without a phone .... doesn't seem like much. Not being able to get to the board and not being able to contact people I needed to made it a long three days. i feed the squirrels corn on the cob, there is a walnut tree in the backyard ... you'd think they have better things to eat t...
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Jennifer
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2
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322
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Moving from anger to forgiveness is a healing experience
(Preview)
Adults who grew up with alcoholic parents probably have plenty to be mad about. As children, they were virtually powerless to stop the forms of abuse and neglect they often suffered. They couldn't express their anger or outrage in a healthy manner. Instead, many either acted out their...
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Phil
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4
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921
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Letting go of our need for control frees us
(Preview)
"If you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans." This old Jewish proverb is especially familiar to people in recovery from addiction, but everyone can glean some meaning from these time-tested words. They serve as a gentle reminder that most of what happens in our life and in th...
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Phil
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2
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452
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You guys are ALL amazing
(Preview)
Just to let everyone of you know that i read all the posts looking for inspiration, and i find it in each and evey reply to every message here.
The most valuable time in my day is spent reading here. I learn so much from all your experiences and i am very greatful for the existance of this site.
With my wo...
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arty
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1
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223
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workbook
(Preview)
Hi everyone,
Can anyone tell me if there is a workbook I can buy that will help me with the steps? I have to go back to step one, and am having problems with "my life becoming unmanagable". I understand I probably am experience a block called denial, but as far as I can see at the moment, I have pretty muc...
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annmarie
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4
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1899
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Do i stay or do i go?
(Preview)
Many months ago I went to a shrink to discuss how to help my A as his general behaviour was extremely destructive back then...even when he wasnt drinking.
In my session, the same point kept coming up. should i stay or should i go?
Her advice to me was to make up my mind and stick to my decision. So i decid...
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arty
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8
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383
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Looking for a support system
(Preview)
Hello all, First off I want to thank those of you that were so wonderful to me in the chat room tonight. You have inspired me to go ahead and ask for the help I know I need. Why is it so hard to ask for help sometimes?
Anyway, I am from Urbana,Illinois and am looking for a support system. I have a 31 year old dau...
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Wind
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2
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283
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When you are drained???
(Preview)
(((Hi everyone))))
What happens when you just feel through, but not ready to make the change yet? I have been escaping AH all last week and feeling good, doing my own thing. He still drinks horribly after 3 days of sobriety, usually beginning Monday, then drinks Wed or Thurs unt...
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hersh
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5
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386
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tts letting go of ppl stuff
(Preview)
Reading about TTs stuff gives me permission to let go of
a sick A neighbor who blamed us earlier for reporting his
barking dog and some dirt pile he had out in front. I didnt
get mad at him that day when he came to the house.
But then I really got po'd at him and preceded to tell him
OFF...Wel...
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Busbe
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2
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277
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hi tlc
(Preview)
I'm sorry, I did not see your post. No I guess I am not ok. But I am sure will be again someday, just not today.
Really into the one day at a time.
Thank you for asking about me. Means a lot to me.
Yes i miss Chief. He was a big part of Eden. Estersue and I took a nap and we cried together today. S...
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debilyn
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4
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244
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To Txmom - remembering dadrrb
(Preview)
Dear ((((((((((txmom)))))))))))
Been thinking of you a whole lot this month. Remembering the shock and grief we all felt hearing of dadrrb's passing.... So glad we could all be here for you during that time. Remembering watching you grow in the program and finding your love for him again, even o...
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kismetstrand
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7
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342
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Interview Today
(Preview)
Okay, little prayers and good thoughts, I have an interview at 2pm.
Hugs Mary
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marmare
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5
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234
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guilt and shame
(Preview)
Why do I feel so guilty about speaking to my own mom? My A makes me feel this way. I didnt speak to my mom for a few yrs cause of a bunch of issues. My dry does not like my family at all. Blames my mom because of my sickness. My was drunk during caring me. I am at peace with it now. I accept it. I dont feel comfortable...
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purplebutterfly
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3
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951
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A letter to my A
(Preview)
Hi All,
My A and I had a wonderful fun time planned Saturday night, we went to see X-Treme fights, which I very much enjoy. Somehow it turned all wrong, I became what I thought was angry and left and went to the car and we went home. I said hurtful things and it has taken me two days to figure ou...
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marmare
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4
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395
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Always wondering, always worrying..
(Preview)
My A has gone away for a few days with a couple guys, who I know will be drinking, will I ever stop thinking the worst?? I feel it will truly be a miracle if he comes back sober. While I'm develeping an ulcer..., please pray for us. Love TLC
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TLC2
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7
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289
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selfishness
(Preview)
It never ceases to amaze me-the level of selfishness an a has. My ah has been crazy off and on about him having to get rid of his stuff to bring in some money so we can pay for a lawyer for this latest bout with the law. I am BROKE!!! I can't get another loan b/c of debt to income ratio--not t...
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hudsond
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2
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262
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Intencity of Addiction
(Preview)
((((Everyone))))
In talking with my grouchy old ASober Father this weekend, he told my AW and I some stories I had never heard. I love my Dad, he is a great guy.
He quit drinking on his own for 6 months when he was in his early 30's. He was at his brothers house and was offered a beer....
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rtexas
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3
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355
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Parents United-Power in Numbers
(Preview)
My husband and I don't always see eye to eye on how to work with our 22 year old alcoholic daughter. (She is 30 plus days sober in a rehab facility, grateful for that!)
I lived for 8 years with an A (my daughter's father, go figure) before leaving and marrying my current husband, not an A. I'm further alon...
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kabbie
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2
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318
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My "Favorite Man" Relapses
(Preview)
OK, those of you who know me know I am "madly in love" with country music star, Keith Urban. LOL
He married Nichole Kidman 4 months ago. He just admitted himself (or she admitted him) to rehab again. He's been thru this before. She had him sign a pre-nup about his drug and alc...
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Becky1
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5
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489
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can we also have addictive behaviors
(Preview)
i guess i am just feeling condemnee ; i just can't stop stuffing my face and i am always feeling like things will never get better
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raechill
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4
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293
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Is it by chance...
(Preview)
(((((Everyone)))))
Is it by chance that my work has allowed me to make my recovery almost a full time job for the past 8 months?
Is it by chance that when my AW is trying to tell me on the phone that I am being a bad father and husband that I just so happen to be at my grandparents gravesite reading the smal...
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rtexas
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7
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362
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Saying it "mean"...
(Preview)
I have considered the slogan, "Say what you mean, but don't say it mean." Aside from the fact that I have difficulty with the incorrect grammar of that one, I wonder; why can't we say it "mean?" If I were not angry at the time, I would say nothing at all. This slogan encourages us to stifle any anger we may fe...
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Diva
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15
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984
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FEELING SAD
(Preview)
Hi to all,
Yes im feeling sad,but not sure how im supposed to be.
H and myself been apart(my choice) since may,due to me throwing him out ,since then he has had to live in a salvation army refuge due to having nowhere to go.
Over the last month there has been a vast improvement in him ,finding him a goo...
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ollie
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5
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249
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Thumbs Up Day
(Preview)
Hopefully I am finally seeing some success. My 13 year old son has been going through quite a difficult period in his life. He has caused some very dire consequences for himself and yet I am fortunate to have the insight of realizing how this disease does affect the family through it's man...
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Cilla
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3
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241
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Housewarming Party without a House
(Preview)
Ever hear of a housewarming party without a House -
Well that's what I'm doing!!! - I am living the "Fake it til ya make it" in every bit of my life.
As some you may know it has been a tough few months for us, with our daughter Ashley, I have had some health problems and having trouble diagnosing th...
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Rita G
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6
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368
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I want it to just be over
(Preview)
I am so very hurt,irate,and confused. I do not know what I want anymore. I am tired of my life always being so challenging. I cannot form lasting relationships with anyone, not even with alanoners. I am scared I will be let down once again, and I don't think I could bare another let down. I do not even have a...
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Lauren ashley
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11
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537
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what a long couple of weeks
(Preview)
it has been a while since i posted.but on oct 8 i went on my cruise with my mother in law for 8 days,it was so much fun looking forward to going again..we got home from our cruise on sunday oct 15 during our cruise and our ride back home from miami my mother had talked to my father in law a few times to see how he wa...
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bev
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9
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322
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