New to forum - Al-Anon Family Group

albertarose · Veteran Member

New to forum

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Alberta glad u found our program , keep going to your meetings and comming here , You have only been in this program for a few months don't be impatient with yourself there is so much to learn for now take what u can to make your day easier and less stressful . Slogans are wonderful quick fixes.

A sponsor is someone in your area who u feel u can trust , who goes to meetings and shares openly about her own recovery . someone u can relate too . ome one who has been in the prog longer than yourself, now this is the hard part when u find her u go and ask her if she would be willing to sponsor you . If she says no don't take it personally sometimes people are just too busy to take on another sponcee , keep looking and find another . Take your time someone out there is waiting for you . hehe Louise

maresie2 · ~*Service Worker*~

I had an online sponsor for a while. That worked for me. I think you can ask people.

I think you can also have one temporary person. I do think it helps.

I also think that there is the right person for you and you won't necessarily meet them right away.

Sponsorship is a tool, it helps, the steps help, meetings help, being here helps.

I know I depend a lot on my tools. Believe me I have really really bad days but they last a lot less now then they did before. Before there were really really bad years....

Now it is days.. that is an improvement.

Maresie.

doxie · Senior Member

Just wanted to welcome you albertarose

Doxie

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Alberta and wellcome home.

Being a newcomer to Al-Anon was much the same for me then as it is for you now and then I was told it was because this is such a new and different way of living than I chose to do before I found the program. Change is difficult and slow. I suffered from fear and lack of trust and shyness and guilt and shame. I also suffered from blame, "It was all her fault for not knowing how to drink properly" etc. So I had to take my time, listen to suggestions from those who had more time than I and who had experiences of changing their lives that I wanted. First suggestion was "Keep coming back", then there was do as many (90) meetings in the next 90 days that I could. (This happens to also be how people change habits.) I went to over 104 in 90 days. It was easy where I lived as they were all open meetings and the area had over 439 recovery meetings for both AA and Al-Anon and Alateen every week. This is a huge disease!! I was told to memorize and start practicing the steps and traditions and consider getting a sponsor...in the meantime I could use the group as a sponsor. I had to get a Power Greater than myself in order to help me and also help my alcoholic. I came to understand the second part of that suggestion after months in the program and after accepting that I also played a part in the disease and would continue to unless I got a HP I could turn my mind, body, spirit and emotions over to when I was feeling the compulsion to control and direct the alcoholic and ism. Getting a Higher Power for me was very different than having a religion. I was born and raised in a religious culture and still came to believe that I could marry, lead, direct, fix and save my alcoholic. That just resulted in more drinking!!

Anyhow these are the suggestions I got for the first 90 days of program. Take what you like of them and leave the rest for later. It was suggested that you go slow. That was suggested to me also. Take this whole thing only "One day at a time." Small bites and chew well. When I got to sponsors I had received enough clear mindedness that I went after sponsors with recovery characteristics I didn't have but wanted. That worked for me. They always along the line became friends and family. I will always be grateful for their love and support.

Find a home group is important and do a little service like set up the chairs (room) or make coffee or help set out the literature or become a welcomer (that last one will build self confidence. All you need to do is say "Welcome, glad you're here" and offer a hug if you're up to it. You might even tell them your first name while you're at it. That is how I did it and it worked for me. You won't know unless you try it.

(((((hugs))))) Welcome, glad you're here.

-- Edited by Jerry F at 05:41, 2006-10-30

albertarose · Veteran Member

Thank you all for your warm welcome. Your words were very incouraging. I know this will be a life time journey,(for me anyways) and I am trying my best. Probably trying to hard at times. I am reading th courage to change book right now.

There is a situation going on with my AH at the moment and I listened to what he was saying and after he was finished I realized I was powerless. The words that were being said to me led me straight to the book and I read some scriptures. I must say, I payed close attention to the meesages given. Now I have to put them to use before the situation at hand becomes unmanagable to myself and to my AH. Again thank you you for the welcome and I will keep coming back.

Albertarose

shadow1 · Senior Member

Welcome home Albertarose

I am assuming that you are in Alberta? I am too if you would like to talk and get more information I would be happy to help. Just send me a private massage with your email address and we can go from there. To send me a private message just clicks on my name and then click private message. In addition, you can get a lot of good information in the chat room. You can access that by clicking on this site. http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

Hope to talk to you soon

Yours in Recovery

Shadow

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.