The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today is another new day. For a really long time I was focused on new beginnings needing to be some grand large change or shift. I am in the middle of a divorce right now and my daughters and I moved into our new apt on Wednesday. That is a big change, a big shift. What occurs to me that through these past few months I have found a way almost everyday to find something to be grateful for. Some days that has been more difficult than others. I truly believe as a result of that change in thinking that every day has become a new beginning for me. Every day I wake up and decide what do I want today to be like? I can wake up focused on what went wrong the day before or what tremendous tasks I have ahead of me today and in that thinking I miss the many opportunities for gratitude IN the day I am in.
I find this perspective especially true as it relates to my children. When I think about how they express themselves it is in the subtleties. They make big, large, intense statements about how they are feeling. Really though, you see their happiness reflected in the way they walk, they way they breath, the way they smile, in what they don't say. I have seen small behaviors of relief in myself, in my children, and in their dad. As every large seemingly insurmountable task gets checked off... relief and joy do follow.
People are quick to remind me that there is a honeymoon period associated with this kind of change. What I say to that is this is no honeymoon. This situation is being bettered by Love, not by reaction, anger, blame, guilt, and shame. There is intense emotion associated and it is being blessed by me on its way out of my heart. How might those feelings change over the next few months as the dust settles. Well... that is up to me as well isn't it. Let me always remember that I choose whether to accept or reject the behavior of others. Let me always remember to seek out love and support from my sweet loving family here. Let me always remember that relief is only a breath away when I chose to close my eyes and find again my HP with open arms. Let me always remember that Love is where I begin and there is no end or opposite to Love.
What a great reminder of who is responsible for the way I feel....ayup..that'd be me.
I dont know what kind of honeymoon period some folks have when going through what you are....but... there was no honeymoon of relief over here!
I do know I felt, when I could, that even though what was happening wasn't necessarily what I wanted to happen, but that it was what was supposed to happen. What HAD to happen for my life and my ex wife's life to go on towards what we are meant to.
Thanks for sharing, and congratulations on your moving forward.
I have a feeling from here on it's going to be OK. (((hugs)))) I truly believe that when our attitudes are one of love and optimism that the universe has no choice but to return it. I see you are giving and recieving :) To steal kismet's line, I wish you enough.
love Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
words cannot express what I felt when I read your post. It was soo great. Yes I believe what you said about children. I know when I see them, i think about their innnocence and their laughter and my heart melts.I will be praying for you. Just remember you have people here that care about you.
Lauren
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~life is like a box of chocolates you never know whatcha gonna get~
You can find joy and serenity in all situations whether they are good or bad. And HP always provides lots of learning opportunities....teehee!!
One of my favorite "bobisms"- HP doesn't always wrap gift in pretty paper. Look for the gifts in everything you do and experience and I guarantee you will find HP helping you through another set of steps and footwork. Another opportunity for serenity.
Love you hon,
SenoraBob
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Higher Power doesn't always wrap presents in pretty paper.
