Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Tryin2havfaith · Tryin2havfaith

My apologies for such a long post! I was with a guy for 4 months who is an A. He told me he was in recovery and appeared to be on the same page as I...raising his child, working, going to school, looking for a relationship after not being in one for a very long time. I soon found out that h...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

Only polite conversation going on in my house since my AH returned home from vacation. He obviously sees no need to apologize for his behaviour the night before he left. I on the other hand am hurting and refusing to act as if nothing happened. I need to remember so that I don't get su...

debilyn · debilyn

Ok said that is it. I cannot stand looking at the floors anymore. The hall I painted a pretty cranberry that just made a mess. Looked awful. So I got out the hated Glue. Yep the same stuff I sat in and got myself glued to everything. I was soooo careful. Had to patch a place in the living room. Got i...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

OK, so I decided I want a divorce and I had been making plans based around the fact that the A is all alone here with no one and he will want to be with the kids..... I want to make my own plans but still find that tinge of guilt that I'm "leaving him out". I am leaving tomorrow to go to DC for 5 days with th...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

"I just don't deserve this." "It costs too much." "I can't do it. It's not worth it." I've finally decided to pony up the cash and buy some things I've been looking at buying for a long, long time--2 CD's from Amazon.com (total price with shipping: $30); and some new clothes on clearance from Target.c...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well I made a counter offer on the house and the buyer came up a few thousand so we would actually walk away with a few thousand dollars from a house we only owned for 6 mos. I have not been able to reach the A, he is on a runner again. I got a call from his boss yesterday asking if I had seen him.&nbs...

valentine · valentine

My A friend has been in rare form lately (past 5 months or so.) She is having a hard time, going through a messy divorce, but as we know, life is often messy and if we were to use every adversity in life as an excuse to get plowed, chances are we'd all be plowed more often than not. ;) At any rate, a good...

debilyn · debilyn

Wish I could say I am better. Do my best to look for the good and take care of me. The world is hard as we all know. Been so tired. I still move around, still work around here. Have been on a clean and throw away thing. Got the pump house emptied, the shed is emptied, the barn is completely cleaned up of any jun...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Last night a revelation hit me at my f2f meeting. It started as a discussion about starting your day over however many times you needed to but then from that I got to thinking about my relationships with different people. The A of course but not just him various others like my 12 year old dau...

abbyal · abbyal

Yesterday I came into the room to find some very upset people , aparently they had someone in the room slamming our program and were defending Al-Anon to no avial. Along time ago I found myself in a similar situation with a friend and it got pretty heated, when I shared this at meeting l...

marmare · marmare

So my A came to the house today. I don't know exactly what he expected, but I only gave what I could to admit that I was wrong, I tried not to make excuses and when I caught myself doing that I corrected myself. He doesn't "make" me feel lonely, I feel that way. Yes what my A does and how he a...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello (((Everyone))) Thank you all, i was feeling really bad, after reading some posts it's a little better now. Today I decided to go out to my Mom's house for the day, it was in the 60's sunny, perfect for a last fun day with the dogs before winter sets in and i needed to get big ole Sully time to get use...

laurab · laurab

I am trying to detach with love and that's fine as long as my phone calls with my A son are casual and leave me feeling hopeful. Today he called at noon, crying at his circumstances (no money, sleeping on the floor because his stuff is in storage and he can't figure out how to get it, his dog is being boarde...

lilms · lilms

FROGS Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants.... The race began.... Honestly,no one in crowd really bel...

nycbt · nycbt

THANKS TO ALL OF U THAT STUCK WITH ME AND LISTEN TO ME GO ON AND ON ABOUT IT. THE TEST CAME BACK - I DON'T HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Angel1 · Angel1

Hello I have been lurking for a little while but have not yet posted my story. This morning I have a question that maybe you guys can help me with. Briefly...been married for 16 years. Have 3 kids S15, S11, D4. My AH seperated 8 years ago for 6 months because of his drinking. He got sober witho...

Phil · Phil

Each of us struggles with pain and its repercussions; some of us more than others. At times pain seems unending. Sometimes we hang onto the pain in our lives, maybe because we fear even more what's on the other side. The unknown so easily controls us. Right at this moment, each of us can look back on other...

drucilla06 · drucilla06

Hi (((((((friends)))))) I am soooooo MAD. This morning it all came to the surface and pouring out.I am angry that I have to give up my house and everything I have worked for.I am angry that I will have to live in an apartment and listen to noisey neighbors.That I will have to buy a better car and pay for...

shadow1 · shadow1

I have been told that I have a very strong program but right now, I really don’t think I do. I can talk the talk but walking the walk seems to be a different story with me. I’m falling deeper and deeper into a depression. Everything seems to be crashing down around me. I can’t seem to get my feelings...

Lauren ashley · Lauren ashley

How Things came to be.. My whole world is torn apart because you left me with a broken heart I thought you loved me, I thought you cared I knew that you despised me from the look you gave me,and the way you stared Do you ever wonder about me? Or how things came to be? Well, I am older now and I truly cannot thank...

hersh · hersh

(((Everyone))) Trying to move forward, WAS trying to focus on me after AH's third DUI last weekend. Well, I slipped and what did I do, looked at the cell phone bill again. I was deliberately not looking at it because AH had been talking to someone this year when we separated and thought t...

afmom03 · afmom03

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gardengal · gardengal

Living with active alcoholism challenges us daily to deal with disappointment time and time again. Our expectations of another seem to toss us into dispair when it does not go according to what we think is right. We get sick. We lose faith in ourselves to help another and our self esteem plummet...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, As I sit here thinking about the craziness I have been thru these past days and weeks and months....and if I think about it these years......anyway, I am thankful.....I have two great kids....a beautiful 16 yr old daughter who loves life and is full of sunshine.....a wonderful so...

Powerless · Powerless

I have been worried a lot lately and a saw a sign on a church as I was driving to a F2F meeting. "Don't fear tomorrow. God is already there." I didn't want to offend anyone so I changed God to HP. Anyway. I am six months pregnant now and looking forward to the birth of our daughter. My ex returned...

Gailey · Gailey

-- Edited by tea2 at 00:15, 2006-11-08

ShelBell · ShelBell

My AH will have 3 months sober tomorrow, the 9th. It has been quite an adjustment for me, as for a long time I couldn't see why I needed this program. All the reasons people told me I should be here didn't seem to apply, as I didn't blame myself or have low self-esteem and a myriad...

mama_nz · mama_nz

Hi, My 18mo old son's father and I are separated, and last weekend he invited me over for dinner and when I got there he was completely drunk (I posted a couple days ago about that). He has our son on the weekends and because of my concerns about his behaviour when he drinks I have a parentin...

marmare · marmare

Months ago before taking care of mom, I gave my work # to one on my husbands buddies. He called me at work and wanted my email and other phone #'s. I gave him my email. We exchange pretty explict emails for a couple months and then not for a while, then a bit more. He is always wanti...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well today was the day from HELL. A called all night and I didn't answer and then started up again this morning. Answered the 2nd call and made up an excuse about the battery being dead... He seemed ok. Then later he called and I was busy and he said I am filing for divorce and I want joint custody and I'm not p...

serendipity · serendipity

i suppose i am choosing to be miserable. i am letting my ex ah knock down all of my boundries and that feels really awful. it just occured to me today that my father is never comming back (he died in may and i was there, it was cancer and not exactly sudden). but until today i think i really believed he was just...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I attended a committee meeting yesterday for a retreat and one of the women shared something that made so much sense to me. "Recovery takes a very long time, it's like being kicked to death by a rabbit".

mama_nz · mama_nz

Hi, new here so sorry if I cover any old ground or anything like that.. I have a dillemma, and would appreciate some advice please! My partner is the drinker. We have been separated for the last 10 months, and have an 18 mo old son who is in my day-to-day care. It was my birthday on Friday and my...

Diva · Diva

So many times I attempt to have a discussion with my A about how I am feeling, how he is feeling, etc. The minute I begin to talk about inner feelings, he changes the subject. I mean REALLY changes the subject!! He will answer with something like, "Look how the dog is lying on his bed with all his feet in the a...

lilms · lilms

Tex, Just wondering if you are okay, ya know with the sacrificing live chickens and turtles butts stuff....

lilms

shauna27 · shauna27

My A will not go to meetings or call on sober people if he is drinking. He says it is a respect issue. I don't know AA's stance on this. Those I've spoken to say it is a personal choice. He stops drinking, goes to meetings but doesn't do the work, and eventually starts drinking agai...

Elizabeth M · Elizabeth M

I think I am onto something today.. I have just two choices...accept the fact that my husband is an alcoholic which means I will never come first and at any time he will decide not to come home, that I need to detach and not take it personal OR end the marriage. Seems so simple...I think my pro...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((Everyone))))) When you are doing things, for yourself, to satisfy your needs .... do they? Are you satisfied when you are done? Do you get that sigh of relief and feel grateful for it? Over the last few months, I have done things "for me", but what that meant was in spite of...

shauna27 · shauna27

Hi, I'm Shauna and I'm new here. I've been with my A for 3 years but we've known each other forever. He's been going to AA for years but never does the work and hasn't managed to stay sober for more than a month. We've split several times as a result of the chaos. The last time was t...

Phil · Phil

When I "Let Go and Let God," I think more clearly and wisely. Without having to think about it, I quickly let go of things that cause me immediate pain and discomfort. Because I find it hard to let go of the kind of worrisome thoughts and attitudes that cause me immense anguish, all I need do during those ti...

horselover58 · horselover58

It's been almost 2 weeks since hubby had a beer! Oct. 26, I had a good day. Had my appt with my C.H.A.D. counselor (Confidential help for alcohol & drugs it is an agency that offers professional outpatient counseling for addicts and thier families) Then went to work for 1/2 a night, left...

ZMrE2Me · ZMrE2Me

I found your Web site a few weeks ago, and have attended a few meetings now. At first I felt really awkward and out of place (I am a newcomer to Al-Anon), but that changed during yesterday morning's meeting. For whatever reason, the people in that room were suddenly transformed from anonymous words on a...

marmare · marmare

Last night my A and I had a disagreement. He is still drinking but not using cocaine, I don't think he has used in months. He has changed. He doesn't know within himself what has caused the change; I don't try to figure it out. I thought maybe it was my mother's death, or that I...

Dolphin123 · Dolphin123

Hi all, Hubby just called. He is number 90 something on the standby list. His ticket date is for 12/04/06. The problem is that he is on a tiny island, Dutch Harbor, and he isn't the only fisherman/crabber waiting to get home. And to top it off, there aren't alot of flights coing in and outa Dutch daily...

twinmom2 · twinmom2

(((MIP Family))) Its been a while since I've posted anything, just been reading posts and responding when I feel I have something to contribute. Sometimes I feel like I need to just watch, listen, and observe so that growth or understanding can happen. Lately things have been good ev...

kicky · kicky

My A has been out of my home for 3 weeks today. I asked him to go to detox, rehab and begin a sober life Or move out. So, he went to live with a fellow A while his wife was away on business. Well she came back yesterday and behold my A just misses me so much! He called yesterday and said he needed to see the do...

kabbie · kabbie

i am powerless over this disease. there. i said it.

Orchid Lady · Orchid Lady

Hello all, These really early mornings are difficult - dark, sleepy, not truly rested I've never been a morning person and since "this" started mornings are even harder. But this morning I ironed fabric and cut pieces for a quilt I have planned, been quite a while since I've tried to be creative, h...

Gailey · Gailey

My co-worker just found out a web site that you could access that is for public knoweledge. She put her son's name in there. Her son does not have any problems that she knows of. Married, 3 children, nice home and good job. Lo and behold...he was arrested for dui in April. I wanted to put my A son's name in so...

krusland · krusland

I knew this was going to be a tough day, but I really am having a hard time. He just came out of a 28 day program, and is really freaking out about being on his own. He went out to a meeting a few minutes ago, but really couldn't calm down until he left. I don't know if he doubts his willpower, or if it is totally no...

Tammy · Tammy

Peace, Love, calm in the storm, happiness, a content feeling, and hopeful... This has been an terrible week.. My husband of nearly 20 years and I have been seperated for over 7 weeks and it isnt getting easier. Since I kicked him out he got a DUI and is not drinking ( thats good, right ??) Well, It is...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I keep thinking about my perspective ever since I was young I was always afraid I was going to miss something. I carry that now when living off sheer hope that the A will get better. I see now it's the same thing. I want my brain to realize that the only thing I'm missing is more of the sam...

maresie2 · maresie2

I am looking for a new sponsor. I want to believe the steps will help me out of the stuff I am in. I have good days and tremendously bad days. I also have a resolve that I will not allow the A's addiction to destroy me. I know it has come close. I hope someone will volunteer. I could even go with a tempor...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

The A came over on Friday stayed the nite and then left Sat. I think he's been out drinking since but don't know. I started to get irritated. I don't like not knowing what's going on and having him not answer the phone. Why can't I just stop caring about what he does and not see it as my problem. I realize my fi...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

(((((Everyone))))) My day started with thinking that my cat had peed on my dogs blanket in revenge. I was so mad as I was cleaning it up. Then I felt a drip hit the back of my head. I have a leak in the roof -- here is where I should have stayed on my knees and just prayed. I d...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Folks.... the good of this site FAR outweighs any of the bad. For all of our sakes, can we please get the focus back onto recovery, supporting each other, and loving and caring for one another. Choosing sides in personal fights do us NO good, and they take away from the primary aim and goal o...

thinkstoomuch · thinkstoomuch

So, for years, I stuffed my feelings - practically a prerequisite to being in Alanon. I didn't even really understand that feeling wasn't the same as thinking. I'm slowly starting to learn different. When my A got sober 2½ years ago, and I then got into Alanon, I often just bit my tongue because I co...

Phil · Phil

Denial Ain't a River in Egypt. Denial is the PRIMARY psychological symptom of addiction. It is an automatic and unconscious component of addictions. Addicts are often the last to recognize their disease, pursuing their addictions into the gates of insanity, the collapse of health and ul...

Phil · Phil

Deep meaningLiving a life with deep passion means living a life with deep meaning. It may very well be those precise areas of your life where you have endured great hardship, and became determined to turn it around, that you find you can share the same with others. Then you are a beacon of hop...

Idealsummerluv · Idealsummerluv

Hello, Grateful member of alanon. What concerns me right now is my 14 year old daughter. Last year she ended up in counselling due to a prank at school. It went thru the court system. She had to meet with a probation officer and was ordered counselli...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Need Guidance (Preview) My apologies for such a long post! I was with a guy for 4 months who is an A. He told me he was in recovery and appeared to be on the same page as I...raising his child, working, going to school, looking for a relationship after not being in one for a very long time. I soon found out that h...	Tryin2havfaith	8	607	Nov 9, 2006 by Tryin2havfaith
	Trying to break the cycle (Preview) Only polite conversation going on in my house since my AH returned home from vacation. He obviously sees no need to apologize for his behaviour the night before he left. I on the other hand am hurting and refusing to act as if nothing happened. I need to remember so that I don't get su...	Elizabeth M	1	446	Nov 9, 2006 by hersh
	What I do for me, sticky Eden (Preview) Ok said that is it. I cannot stand looking at the floors anymore. The hall I painted a pretty cranberry that just made a mess. Looked awful. So I got out the hated Glue. Yep the same stuff I sat in and got myself glued to everything. I was soooo careful. Had to patch a place in the living room. Got i...	debilyn	6	526	Nov 9, 2006 by tiredtonite
	Holiday Concerns Looking for ESH!!! (Preview) OK, so I decided I want a divorce and I had been making plans based around the fact that the A is all alone here with no one and he will want to be with the kids..... I want to make my own plans but still find that tinge of guilt that I'm "leaving him out". I am leaving tomorrow to go to DC for 5 days with th...	carolinagirl	4	524	Nov 9, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Feelings of undeserving (Preview) "I just don't deserve this." "It costs too much." "I can't do it. It's not worth it." I've finally decided to pony up the cash and buy some things I've been looking at buying for a long, long time--2 CD's from Amazon.com (total price with shipping: $30); and some new clothes on clearance from Target.c...	Tiger2006	10	698	Nov 9, 2006 by Christy
	UPDATE (Preview) Well I made a counter offer on the house and the buyer came up a few thousand so we would actually walk away with a few thousand dollars from a house we only owned for 6 mos. I have not been able to reach the A, he is on a runner again. I got a call from his boss yesterday asking if I had seen him.&nbs...	carolinagirl	5	420	Nov 9, 2006 by carolinagirl
	Am i crossing the line? (Preview) My A friend has been in rare form lately (past 5 months or so.) She is having a hard time, going through a messy divorce, but as we know, life is often messy and if we were to use every adversity in life as an excuse to get plowed, chances are we'd all be plowed more often than not. ;) At any rate, a good...	valentine	5	447	Nov 9, 2006 by valentine
	I wonder (Preview) Wish I could say I am better. Do my best to look for the good and take care of me. The world is hard as we all know. Been so tired. I still move around, still work around here. Have been on a clean and throw away thing. Got the pump house emptied, the shed is emptied, the barn is completely cleaned up of any jun...	debilyn	11	547	Nov 9, 2006 by irish54
	Relationships with others (Preview) Last night a revelation hit me at my f2f meeting. It started as a discussion about starting your day over however many times you needed to but then from that I got to thinking about my relationships with different people. The A of course but not just him various others like my 12 year old dau...	carolinagirl	4	440	Nov 9, 2006 by hersh
	Living the Program (Preview) Yesterday I came into the room to find some very upset people , aparently they had someone in the room slamming our program and were defending Al-Anon to no avial. Along time ago I found myself in a similar situation with a friend and it got pretty heated, when I shared this at meeting l...	abbyal	10	697	Nov 9, 2006 by gardengal
	And now (Preview) So my A came to the house today. I don't know exactly what he expected, but I only gave what I could to admit that I was wrong, I tried not to make excuses and when I caught myself doing that I corrected myself. He doesn't "make" me feel lonely, I feel that way. Yes what my A does and how he a...	marmare	1	295	Nov 9, 2006 by hudsond
	Why do I feel like I am kicking a puppy? (Preview) Hello (((Everyone))) Thank you all, i was feeling really bad, after reading some posts it's a little better now. Today I decided to go out to my Mom's house for the day, it was in the 60's sunny, perfect for a last fun day with the dogs before winter sets in and i needed to get big ole Sully time to get use...	Jennifer	6	444	Nov 9, 2006 by megan
	I weakened & and I feel bad. (Preview) I am trying to detach with love and that's fine as long as my phone calls with my A son are casual and leave me feeling hopeful. Today he called at noon, crying at his circumstances (no money, sleeping on the floor because his stuff is in storage and he can't figure out how to get it, his dog is being boarde...	laurab	12	779	Nov 9, 2006 by Diva
	FROGS (Preview) FROGS Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs.... who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants.... The race began.... Honestly,no one in crowd really bel...	lilms	4	367	Nov 8, 2006 by debilyn
	I DONT HAVE IT (Preview) THANKS TO ALL OF U THAT STUCK WITH ME AND LISTEN TO ME GO ON AND ON ABOUT IT. THE TEST CAME BACK - I DON'T HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!	nycbt	19	560	Nov 8, 2006 by Diva
	Why are you punishing Dad? (Preview) Hello I have been lurking for a little while but have not yet posted my story. This morning I have a question that maybe you guys can help me with. Briefly...been married for 16 years. Have 3 kids S15, S11, D4. My AH seperated 8 years ago for 6 months because of his drinking. He got sober witho...	Angel1	6	540	Nov 8, 2006 by AlaMom
	Pain (Preview) Each of us struggles with pain and its repercussions; some of us more than others. At times pain seems unending. Sometimes we hang onto the pain in our lives, maybe because we fear even more what's on the other side. The unknown so easily controls us. Right at this moment, each of us can look back on other...	Phil	2	448	Nov 8, 2006 by Lunamoth
	I am sooo angry...can't stop crying (Preview) Hi (((((((friends)))))) I am soooooo MAD. This morning it all came to the surface and pouring out.I am angry that I have to give up my house and everything I have worked for.I am angry that I will have to live in an apartment and listen to noisey neighbors.That I will have to buy a better car and pay for...	drucilla06	15	681	Nov 8, 2006 by Jill
	Help I have fallen and I can't get up (Preview) I have been told that I have a very strong program but right now, I really don’t think I do. I can talk the talk but walking the walk seems to be a different story with me. I’m falling deeper and deeper into a depression. Everything seems to be crashing down around me. I can’t seem to get my feelings...	shadow1	15	685	Nov 8, 2006 by shadow1
	How things came to be... (Preview) How Things came to be.. My whole world is torn apart because you left me with a broken heart I thought you loved me, I thought you cared I knew that you despised me from the look you gave me,and the way you stared Do you ever wonder about me? Or how things came to be? Well, I am older now and I truly cannot thank...	Lauren ashley	7	522	Nov 8, 2006 by Rita G
	Not my business???... (Preview) (((Everyone))) Trying to move forward, WAS trying to focus on me after AH's third DUI last weekend. Well, I slipped and what did I do, looked at the cell phone bill again. I was deliberately not looking at it because AH had been talking to someone this year when we separated and thought t...	hersh	4	457	Nov 8, 2006 by Rita G
	Slowly but surely.... (Preview)     I	afmom03	1	379	Nov 8, 2006 by Rita G
	HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH DISAPPOINTMENT? (Preview) Living with active alcoholism challenges us daily to deal with disappointment time and time again. Our expectations of another seem to toss us into dispair when it does not go according to what we think is right. We get sick. We lose faith in ourselves to help another and our self esteem plummet...	gardengal	10	1858	Nov 8, 2006 by Rita G
	Getting Thru (Preview) Hello Friends, As I sit here thinking about the craziness I have been thru these past days and weeks and months....and if I think about it these years......anyway, I am thankful.....I have two great kids....a beautiful 16 yr old daughter who loves life and is full of sunshine.....a wonderful so...	Andrea12	10	420	Nov 8, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Don't fear tomorrow...HP is already there! (Preview) I have been worried a lot lately and a saw a sign on a church as I was driving to a F2F meeting. "Don't fear tomorrow. God is already there." I didn't want to offend anyone so I changed God to HP. Anyway. I am six months pregnant now and looking forward to the birth of our daughter. My ex returned...	Powerless	5	519	Nov 8, 2006 by maire rua
	From C2C - November 7 (Preview) -- Edited by tea2 at 00:15, 2006-11-08	Gailey	6	553	Nov 8, 2006 by tea2
	Feeling good (Preview) My AH will have 3 months sober tomorrow, the 9th. It has been quite an adjustment for me, as for a long time I couldn't see why I needed this program. All the reasons people told me I should be here didn't seem to apply, as I didn't blame myself or have low self-esteem and a myriad...	ShelBell	2	316	Nov 8, 2006 by kabbie
	Afraid (Preview) Hi, My 18mo old son's father and I are separated, and last weekend he invited me over for dinner and when I got there he was completely drunk (I posted a couple days ago about that). He has our son on the weekends and because of my concerns about his behaviour when he drinks I have a parentin...	mama_nz	7	407	Nov 8, 2006 by Gailey
	Owning up to my mistakes.... (Preview) Months ago before taking care of mom, I gave my work # to one on my husbands buddies. He called me at work and wanted my email and other phone #'s. I gave him my email. We exchange pretty explict emails for a couple months and then not for a while, then a bit more. He is always wanti...	marmare	5	520	Nov 8, 2006 by hudsond
	Really REally Really bad day! (Preview) Well today was the day from HELL. A called all night and I didn't answer and then started up again this morning. Answered the 2nd call and made up an excuse about the battery being dead... He seemed ok. Then later he called and I was busy and he said I am filing for divorce and I want joint custody and I'm not p...	carolinagirl	8	469	Nov 8, 2006 by Powerless
	i am miserable (Preview) i suppose i am choosing to be miserable. i am letting my ex ah knock down all of my boundries and that feels really awful. it just occured to me today that my father is never comming back (he died in may and i was there, it was cancer and not exactly sudden). but until today i think i really believed he was just...	serendipity	6	429	Nov 8, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Recovery (Preview) I attended a committee meeting yesterday for a retreat and one of the women shared something that made so much sense to me. "Recovery takes a very long time, it's like being kicked to death by a rabbit".	Mobirdie	2	393	Nov 7, 2006 by peewee
	New here -Is walking out enabling them? (Preview) Hi, new here so sorry if I cover any old ground or anything like that.. I have a dillemma, and would appreciate some advice please! My partner is the drinker. We have been separated for the last 10 months, and have an 18 mo old son who is in my day-to-day care. It was my birthday on Friday and my...	mama_nz	8	517	Nov 7, 2006 by mama_nz
	Are they all so inwardly involved? (Preview) So many times I attempt to have a discussion with my A about how I am feeling, how he is feeling, etc. The minute I begin to talk about inner feelings, he changes the subject. I mean REALLY changes the subject!! He will answer with something like, "Look how the dog is lying on his bed with all his feet in the a...	Diva	15	686	Nov 7, 2006 by athena12
	RTexas??? (Preview) Tex, Just wondering if you are okay, ya know with the sacrificing live chickens and turtles butts stuff.... lilms	lilms	1	366	Nov 7, 2006 by rtexas
	AA and active drinking (Preview) My A will not go to meetings or call on sober people if he is drinking. He says it is a respect issue. I don't know AA's stance on this. Those I've spoken to say it is a personal choice. He stops drinking, goes to meetings but doesn't do the work, and eventually starts drinking agai...	shauna27	7	476	Nov 7, 2006 by barisax
	Just two choices (Preview) I think I am onto something today.. I have just two choices...accept the fact that my husband is an alcoholic which means I will never come first and at any time he will decide not to come home, that I need to detach and not take it personal OR end the marriage. Seems so simple...I think my pro...	Elizabeth M	11	622	Nov 7, 2006 by freyja
	Do you do things for you.... really? (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) When you are doing things, for yourself, to satisfy your needs .... do they? Are you satisfied when you are done? Do you get that sigh of relief and feel grateful for it? Over the last few months, I have done things "for me", but what that meant was in spite of...	rtexas	7	590	Nov 7, 2006 by Barbara
	Newbie (Preview) Hi, I'm Shauna and I'm new here. I've been with my A for 3 years but we've known each other forever. He's been going to AA for years but never does the work and hasn't managed to stay sober for more than a month. We've split several times as a result of the chaos. The last time was t...	shauna27	12	494	Nov 7, 2006 by nycbt
	A Borrow and Share (Preview) When I "Let Go and Let God," I think more clearly and wisely. Without having to think about it, I quickly let go of things that cause me immediate pain and discomfort. Because I find it hard to let go of the kind of worrisome thoughts and attitudes that cause me immense anguish, all I need do during those ti...	Phil	2	380	Nov 7, 2006 by kabbie
	Hubby not drinking (for now) (Preview) It's been almost 2 weeks since hubby had a beer! Oct. 26, I had a good day. Had my appt with my C.H.A.D. counselor (Confidential help for alcohol & drugs it is an agency that offers professional outpatient counseling for addicts and thier families) Then went to work for 1/2 a night, left...	horselover58	2	423	Nov 7, 2006 by horselover58
	Something of an introduction (Preview) I found your Web site a few weeks ago, and have attended a few meetings now. At first I felt really awkward and out of place (I am a newcomer to Al-Anon), but that changed during yesterday morning's meeting. For whatever reason, the people in that room were suddenly transformed from anonymous words on a...	ZMrE2Me	6	542	Nov 7, 2006 by nycbt
	A different way (Preview) Last night my A and I had a disagreement. He is still drinking but not using cocaine, I don't think he has used in months. He has changed. He doesn't know within himself what has caused the change; I don't try to figure it out. I thought maybe it was my mother's death, or that I...	marmare	3	415	Nov 7, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Ummmmm, how much to buy my own plane? (Preview) Hi all, Hubby just called. He is number 90 something on the standby list. His ticket date is for 12/04/06. The problem is that he is on a tiny island, Dutch Harbor, and he isn't the only fisherman/crabber waiting to get home. And to top it off, there aren't alot of flights coing in and outa Dutch daily...	Dolphin123	6	506	Nov 7, 2006 by ally
	An Update (Preview) (((MIP Family))) Its been a while since I've posted anything, just been reading posts and responding when I feel I have something to contribute. Sometimes I feel like I need to just watch, listen, and observe so that growth or understanding can happen. Lately things have been good ev...	twinmom2	4	356	Nov 7, 2006 by Lauren ashley
	A's are so cunning yet predictable (Preview) My A has been out of my home for 3 weeks today. I asked him to go to detox, rehab and begin a sober life Or move out. So, he went to live with a fellow A while his wife was away on business. Well she came back yesterday and behold my A just misses me so much! He called yesterday and said he needed to see the do...	kicky	8	535	Nov 6, 2006 by Noni
	can't turn the tears off today (Preview) i am powerless over this disease. there. i said it.	kabbie	8	570	Nov 6, 2006 by Noni
	Missing the way it was (Preview) Hello all, These really early mornings are difficult - dark, sleepy, not truly rested I've never been a morning person and since "this" started mornings are even harder. But this morning I ironed fabric and cut pieces for a quilt I have planned, been quite a while since I've tried to be creative, h...	Orchid Lady	6	412	Nov 6, 2006 by nmike
	A test of really staying out of his business (Preview) My co-worker just found out a web site that you could access that is for public knoweledge. She put her son's name in there. Her son does not have any problems that she knows of. Married, 3 children, nice home and good job. Lo and behold...he was arrested for dui in April. I wanted to put my A son's name in so...	Gailey	7	533	Nov 6, 2006 by lin0606
	husband home from rehab today (Preview) I knew this was going to be a tough day, but I really am having a hard time. He just came out of a 28 day program, and is really freaking out about being on his own. He went out to a meeting a few minutes ago, but really couldn't calm down until he left. I don't know if he doubts his willpower, or if it is totally no...	krusland	7	489	Nov 6, 2006 by hudsond
	Desperately seeking...... (Preview) Peace, Love, calm in the storm, happiness, a content feeling, and hopeful... This has been an terrible week.. My husband of nearly 20 years and I have been seperated for over 7 weeks and it isnt getting easier. Since I kicked him out he got a DUI and is not drinking ( thats good, right ??) Well, It is...	Tammy	4	378	Nov 6, 2006 by Rita G
	His Loss (Preview) I keep thinking about my perspective ever since I was young I was always afraid I was going to miss something. I carry that now when living off sheer hope that the A will get better. I see now it's the same thing. I want my brain to realize that the only thing I'm missing is more of the sam...	carolinagirl	4	418	Nov 6, 2006 by Tiger2006
	looking for a sponsor (Preview) I am looking for a new sponsor. I want to believe the steps will help me out of the stuff I am in. I have good days and tremendously bad days. I also have a resolve that I will not allow the A's addiction to destroy me. I know it has come close. I hope someone will volunteer. I could even go with a tempor...	maresie2	2	353	Nov 6, 2006 by nycbt
	So So Weekend (Preview) The A came over on Friday stayed the nite and then left Sat. I think he's been out drinking since but don't know. I started to get irritated. I don't like not knowing what's going on and having him not answer the phone. Why can't I just stop caring about what he does and not see it as my problem. I realize my fi...	carolinagirl	3	362	Nov 6, 2006 by Rita G
	Small pleasures (Preview) (((((Everyone))))) My day started with thinking that my cat had peed on my dogs blanket in revenge. I was so mad as I was cleaning it up. Then I felt a drip hit the back of my head. I have a leak in the roof -- here is where I should have stayed on my knees and just prayed. I d...	Lunamoth	6	362	Nov 6, 2006 by Rita G
	Please - let's all focus on recovery (Preview) Folks.... the good of this site FAR outweighs any of the bad. For all of our sakes, can we please get the focus back onto recovery, supporting each other, and loving and caring for one another. Choosing sides in personal fights do us NO good, and they take away from the primary aim and goal o...	canadianguy	7	591	Nov 6, 2006 by thinkstoomuch
	speak up, or keep quiet w/ sober A? (Preview) So, for years, I stuffed my feelings - practically a prerequisite to being in Alanon. I didn't even really understand that feeling wasn't the same as thinking. I'm slowly starting to learn different. When my A got sober 2½ years ago, and I then got into Alanon, I often just bit my tongue because I co...	thinkstoomuch	8	667	Nov 6, 2006 by thinkstoomuch
	A Share From The AA Board (Preview) Denial Ain't a River in Egypt. Denial is the PRIMARY psychological symptom of addiction. It is an automatic and unconscious component of addictions. Addicts are often the last to recognize their disease, pursuing their addictions into the gates of insanity, the collapse of health and ul...	Phil	3	583	Nov 6, 2006 by carosie
	Have a good day.... (Preview) Deep meaningLiving a life with deep passion means living a life with deep meaning. It may very well be those precise areas of your life where you have endured great hardship, and became determined to turn it around, that you find you can share the same with others. Then you are a beacon of hop...	Phil	0	403	Nov 6, 2006 by Phil
	Realization (Preview) Hello, Grateful member of alanon. What concerns me right now is my 14 year old daughter. Last year she ended up in counselling due to a prank at school. It went thru the court system. She had to meet with a probation officer and was ordered counselli...	Idealsummerluv	6	464	Nov 6, 2006 by Idealsummerluv
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.