Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

itsgot2bgd · itsgot2bgd

Hi ala-pals, Tonight, we had our "First Annual Christmas Survivor Party" or "Thank God You Can Choose Your Friends Party!" Being with my family, particularly my father and his wife, and my step brother and his family has been especially hard this past year, especially at this Christmas season....

EarthAngel · EarthAngel

I need help with the situation I am having with my husband. We planned to move into a new house, but for various reasons, we werent able to move. So, my husband became very angry, dissappointed, and verbally abusive. He blamed me for everything. My mother is arriving in two days and I haven...

david1965 · david1965

My name is Robert and I am an Alateen/Alanon old timer. My sponsor recently passed away and Im looking for someone with 30 or so years to help me and share in my spiritual jurney. I was taught to practice the 10th, 11th and 12th steps on a daily basis and continue to do that on a daily basis. My...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Ring out the old, ring in the new. Ring, happy bells, across the snow. The year is going, let him go. Ring out the false, ring in the true Alfred, Lord Tennyson

maresie2 · maresie2

I have started a new job, albeit a contract job, and am feeling the isolation I live in tremendously. I guess that is the issue of coming out of survival it hurts. Christmas with the A was horrendous. He didn't crash anything or smash anything but it was close. He let th...

beecharmer · beecharmer

My first time on this site. Tomorrow we go to rehab to visit our daughter. She's 35, an RN, alcoholic and sex we're told.... i didn't realize! She's ending, i think, third marriage and involved with another guy, of course, wanting us to think he's awesome.... i don't know what to do or say! She has two kid...

barisax · barisax

I can make choices in my own life - in my actions, words, and even thoughts if I work at it. But when it comes to others, I am just a witness. This not only applies to alcoholics, but to their families and friends - in and out of the Alanon rooms, who are suffering the consequences of the disease. I can't m...

jewely · jewely

you would not believe what is going on here today. i am glad i don't have kids around to see the idiocity of this behavior. the other night i told my husband , "i am not going to act dumb anymore so you can feel smart." well, today we were watching a true life program on TV about a plane crash. I sa...

artygirl · artygirl

Hello This anger has been building for several days. My soon-to-be ex A/cocaine-addicted husband was fired from his job back in September, around the same time I filed for divorce. He's still not working. Apparently, he fought his former employer and was able to get unemployment benefits just...

Spiritually Calm · Spiritually Calm

Hey there guys! As many of you know, I am pretty new to alanon ... I'm really liking what I'm reading, learning and gaining from all of you - thank you. However, I am not new to alcoholism - in fact I was born into it. Now, I'm married into it. This experience is all new to my 12 year old s...

Spiritually Calm · Spiritually Calm

I was thinking I would write in my journal right about now ... but then I thought I would post what I would've written ... it may even prove to be much more therapeutic. It is my AH's 41st birthday today. I picked him up from work at 8am, as usual (I'm off for the holiday week - yahoo!)&nb...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Just now, tonight, at 11:46 p.m., I looked at the inspirational reading for December 29. Here is what it says, and if anyone has been keeping up with my posts, this is an eye-opener:

I will be having his sister pick him and his stuff up in the morning. And as my heart is breaking,

here...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

Hello and happy Saturday morning (early--6:30am) to all

I have put things into action and my A's sister is due to come here and come pick him and his stuff up. I will push it. I am calling her as early as possible to give her a heads up that my A and I have talked about i...

Tiger2006 · Tiger2006

Today I finally ponied up and rode down town to the local art museam, where various pieces of Rembrant are on loan. Seeing that the museam will be open tomorrow, I realized, "Hey, I have to work today--why not come back tomorrow when I can take all the time I want in the exibits and not have to worry about it...

Klutz · Klutz

Okay. im new here. It seems like a lot of people come her when they are out of options and just need a little help. well, add me to the list of those people cause im building a bridge an im over this crap. yeah, im a little pissed off. I feel totaly cheated. okay stop...rewi...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I haven't done any steps or anything, I just feel so isolated I don't know what to do. My husband has been drinking for about a year now, but before that he hasn't drank in about 20 years, being an active member of AA/NA. I guess we wanted to be normal and drink a glass of wine like everyone else, but it soon be...

greta · greta

Dare I bring up this heat filled subject again? The discussions on this in the past have put my mind to unrest. I realized this morning I have an "issue" with this subject. My insanity starts in the morning. Bright and early. Depending on how quick I get to my HP and an alanon...

lin0606 · lin0606

Something that I have seen a lot in myself, and can tell that others do it too, from posts here, is to envy the drunk. "He gets to sit in the bar, while I have to blah blah" we say. He's out drinking, or passed out in front of the TV, while we raise the kids, keep the house, earn the living, be the adult. The l...

lmw · lmw

I determined in September I could no longer live with my AH, active or not. When he returned from detox/rehab, I took the kids (7-1/2, nearly 6 and nearly 4 now) and left. I just can't trust him, and can't live with the insanity any longer. I filed for divorce, and we've put our...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I'm simply looking for your opinions on this one. A friend of mine in the program is getting a divorce from her husband the A after 20 years of marriage. They are both known well in the local programs. Yesterday I received an email from her announcing a divorce party when she gets her final pap...

CJ · CJ

I'm witnessing my 70 lb German Shephard play with a 1 1/2 lb Ferret!!!! I can't describe it but it is one of the most funny things I've ever seen... my shep is so gentle... but doesn't keep her from puttin her big paw on the ferrets tail and keeping her in one place... aww jeez

Rita G · Rita G

Just wanted to briefly talk about New Year's Eve - if any of your lives are like mine - before recovery I spent many a New Year's Eve miserable. Usually at a family party I didn't want to go to, watching people drink, play cards, etc. - just nothing enjoyable for me. Thankfully today, I have a prog...

Mike5056 · Mike5056

Hi there everyone. Some of you may remember my story from about 6 months ago, for those that don't it is the usual one. My partner started going to AA about 8 months ago after she was arrested in our own home and finally admitted to having a problem. Being a guy I did the usual guy stuff....I stood by her...

twinkie · twinkie

Where does this stuff come from? I've been fine all week and then this afternoon - wham! I met my A at the health club and we were talking about his son, he made a very innocent comment which made me stand my ground and stand up for myself. That wasn't bad. What was bad was t...

afmom03 · afmom03

OH....OK....I guess I put a gun to your mother's head and FORCED her to go sign papers with me to get help for YOU...because you don't have a drinking problem! I guess I put a gun to your brother's head and FORCED him to stay on the phone ALL DAY looking for someway to get you help...because YOU don't have a d...

LoriaR · LoriaR

I have havered at my fifth step for too long. I need someone to do my fifth step with now - as in, as soon as possible. If you are in the USA, and can be reached by phone or have an e-mail address or instant messenger I could communicate with you by, and would volunteer to hear my brief story, I des...

Tammy · Tammy

I went to my counselor the other day and he told me to be patient, live in the moment and not to be so hard on myself. To give my husband the time he wants to figure this out on his own.. Then I spoke to my husband that agreed that he needed "space" time to be alone to "fix" himself. Although it was hard to hear b...

meagain · meagain

I really appreciate the replies I rec'd re: grandkids and DIL -. I have read over and over my books on communication etc---and I am soooooooo afraid to "say anything" to her--like I don't want to "rock the boat" But I already suffer with very high BP and I know this does not help. So I a...

Rebecca · Rebecca

im posting here again lately and feel ashamed and angry at mysef for doing so. even though posting here is probably keeping me sane. i allowed myself to fall into the same pattern of being the doormat where my ex "A" was concerned. after swearing to myself that i wuld not allow any other man to treat me t...

Fifi · Fifi

so i can't sleep either while my A boyfriend is away at rehab...i get up with my mind racing on negative codependant thoughts.....am i visiting too much(each weekend)?does he reallywant me to visit?i want time with him,not all his new addict friends?what about me?would he be driving 2 hours to see me...

snoopy · snoopy

Dr. Laura Schlessinger talks about the three A's, any of which is an impediment to a functional marriage -- and those are adultery, addiction, and abuse. Well, guess what boys and girls-- I got to endure all 3 of them by my A husband. What a guy!!! How did I get so lucky? I firmly believe that...

mookie · mookie

How do I deal with my hubby? He's gone back to drinking again. I don't know what to do.

mon123 · mon123

I have a friend here in England who has never mastered the English language. Her first language is Cantonese. Second language Manderin. She's really struggling here. As you will all know living with active alcoholism is isolating at the best of times but with a language barrier this is compounded...

serendipity · serendipity

i grew up in an alcoholic home. denile was what our family was based on. my uncle was the drunk, died of the disease. he would be stinking drunk, falling down the stairs and my mother would look me right in the eye and say he wasn't drunk. so, when i grew up and married an alcoholic/crack addict and he said he...

confused · confused

Be careful what you ask for, because when you find out you might just have to do something about it. I just wanted to know for sure and now I do. A quick update... my AH and I reconciled 6 months ago after he had been clean and sober and working a program. Sometime this past fall that nagging feeling bega...

confused · confused

If I had to get a 24 hour coin for every time I relapsed, what a collection I would have. What a great reminder to me that sobriety is one day at a time, for me and my alcoholic husband. As I slip in my own recovery, why am I so obsessed with whether or not he is slipping in his? Why am I focusing on him and not on mys...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))))))) I'm finding It really hard just now with things In my life. I think I have hit a rock bottom the last few days. I am crying all the time, feeling sorry for Ally. So I think the best think I can do Is spend some time with just me. Try to work through some of...

ZiggyDoodles · ZiggyDoodles

I took the chance to go see my orignal sponsor while my bf was here visiting at Xmas. My orignal sponsor was AA and went back to drinking. It was a sad sight to see him in such bad shape. This man who was my sponsor was once about a good 275 and now he is skin and bones. What w...

meagain · meagain

: i guess over the years-I have turned into a people pleaser. I think living with in the past and having a A brother and X husband-I was always trying to keep the peace. Well now as I am older and perhaps tired (lol) I no longer can do that. My DIL leaves her kids with me for 2 weeks during working...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

I've been struggling with letting something go. When I first met my A I was 18 and in College working for a resturaunt. He came in to see an old girlfriend and there began my relationship w/ my A. Now what I'm struggling with is the anger I have about the lie... the lie that set me to beli...

Lunamoth · Lunamoth

Okay, I should have offered you all some cheese to go with my last post as it was a very big whine LOL. We've had the flu here and I've had tooooo much time to lay around and think -- stinking thinking. One thing I've always been asked is "Do you really think your A sits and thinks about you as much as y...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

I am going to explain the blow out my A and I had last night, but now all his shit is piled in bags all over my living room. He keeps blaming me. I can't lay down right at night like him. My mind is always open. I stay up until I am ready to sleep. Sometimes sleep doesn't come for a long time. H...

ZiggyDoodles · ZiggyDoodles

Ziggy is a very happy girl today!!!! I will be happy dancing all night long...getting my groove going!!!!!!!!!! My BF who lives 500 miles away called this afternoon to ask if he could come stay a while with me......"Uh Hello? This is me you are talking to! Staying with me is a GIVE...

jewely · jewely

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING FEELING LIKE I HAD SLIVERS IN MY BRAIN AND DAGGERS IN MY BACK. christmas is over, and, it was so HARD. throughout the holiday, i justkept coming to my computer and typing whatever my brain told my fingers to do. i would look back on what i wrote and think.........., "uh...

mac57 · mac57

Hi all, I have my friend working on my house in the mornings, with me as his helper/runner/employer; then I work at night. It's been a bit grueling, and this is a tired boy. My friend is dear, funny and kind, as well as a professional, and an active A. I couldn't have imagined how tiresome dealing with th...

snoopy · snoopy

My husband who is divorcing me told our family doctor that I am at fault for his raging, his anger, his abuse, his cheating and I guess all his other problems. He said that I make him crazy and that is why he broke his hand pounding on the chair. I made him rag...

Spiritually Calm · Spiritually Calm

So this morning my AH needs money to buy alchohol. (He drinks at least 5 days/wk) Lately my concern has been the amount of money that he spends on it. I have told him that he can drink all he wants if he can afford it. We are married and consider the money "ours". However, I...

Rebecca · Rebecca

hey guys its 12 o clock midnight here in Ireland, wind is howling and rain lashing off the window.. im sitting in my bedroom with C.S.I Miami on in the background and a steaming mug of hot chocolate... im just after a phonecall with my ex "A"... he had rang earlier in the day saying he was visiti...

Tammy · Tammy

It has been a while since I have posted, why I am not sure.. I have read posts just havent posted myself. It has been almost 4 months since my seperation from my husband. He is still living in the camper at a campground across town while the kids and I are in the house. While we are seperated we talk sever... >>

jaja · jaja

He was trying to draw me into a stupid game with the phone and it didn't work. The next day he called me and waited for the reaction from me that he hoped for - angry, yelling,etc. - so he could tell me I had a problem. Take things off him and put it on me....

marmare · marmare

I found this quote a couple days ago and decided that I had to share....I will write more when time allows, work, home, and grandkids keeping this girl busy, but still read the posts here and am working my program! Love ya all!!! Hugs Mary “I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adj...

mama_nz · mama_nz

..Juliette leans longingly over the balcony. "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" Romeo tumbles into her balcony and staggers over to her, and breathily whispers to her in hot boozy breath "hey bebe, sorry I'm late, but you know how it is, mama. Howzz about a kuss.."...

bear · bear

Well, he finally made it through the doors of the detox centre. He was scarred - yes most definately but before he went he tipped the last of his vodka bottle out. It is just me and my son now for the next two weeks. I'm not silly in my expectation that when he gets out he will be cured and all wi...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello ((Everyone)) I've been having judgemental and uncharitable thoughts towards my As family lately. For years now they have held the belief that I kept him from being around them, participating in activities. i admit sometimes I did try to, for the most part though while my A was trying to stay s...

lmt123 · lmt123

Ok, I do need ESH here. I did take the high road regarding my A's EX at his family's Christmas morning breakfast and gift-giving. I have never spoken ill of her to his daughter, nor have I spoken cross to her in any way...always nice, always positive. Christmas morning...I saw her when w...

maresie2 · maresie2

For the last 6 years or so the A has spent every Christmas with his mother. I used to be so filled with jealousy and abandonment about it. I had some kind of fantasy that if he were around he would be "there". Well this year I got to experience a Christmas with the a. He had tantrums,...

Gailey · Gailey

I told awhile ago of my plan to give my A son money and hold his car until he could buy it back. Well, it didn't happen right away but has finally about 2 weeks ago. Anyway, he is at my home this week because his daughters are spending the week with us. He had a cyst under his arm which had become infected. H...

debilyn · debilyn

I am very ok now. I woke up today and decided to get some pictures together for my adoptive mom. After three nights in a row of my loved ones dieing, the ones who are dead, Richard M Tyson/an actor falling in love with me and wow can he kiss. I was telling him I could not sleep with him until we wer...

Fifi · Fifi

Hello. This is my first time reaching out on line or in any way. I fell in love with an alchoholic a year ago - just brought him to detox 2 weeks ago - pick him up tomorrow. I am scared,confused, don't know where to start over, don't know how to hold onto me, am afraid of doing the wrong thing, afraid of not be...

hippietrippiechick · hippietrippiechick

This is a reading from a little perpetual inspiration calendar my dear friend gave me before she died last year. She died December 29, 2005. The Mountanins are God's thoughts piled up.

The ocean is God's thoughts spread out.

The flowers are God's thoughts in...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Feel empowered, feel happy (Preview) Hi ala-pals, Tonight, we had our "First Annual Christmas Survivor Party" or "Thank God You Can Choose Your Friends Party!" Being with my family, particularly my father and his wife, and my step brother and his family has been especially hard this past year, especially at this Christmas season....	itsgot2bgd	1	403	Dec 31, 2006 by nmike
	My Husband (Preview) I need help with the situation I am having with my husband. We planned to move into a new house, but for various reasons, we werent able to move. So, my husband became very angry, dissappointed, and verbally abusive. He blamed me for everything. My mother is arriving in two days and I haven...	EarthAngel	4	396	Dec 31, 2006 by nmike
	Sponsership for an old timer (Preview) My name is Robert and I am an Alateen/Alanon old timer. My sponsor recently passed away and Im looking for someone with 30 or so years to help me and share in my spiritual jurney. I was taught to practice the 10th, 11th and 12th steps on a daily basis and continue to do that on a daily basis. My...	david1965	2	446	Dec 31, 2006 by david1965
	NEW YEARS EVE THOUGHT (Preview) Ring out the old, ring in the new. Ring, happy bells, across the snow. The year is going, let him go. Ring out the false, ring in the true Alfred, Lord Tennyson	hippietrippiechick	2	276	Dec 31, 2006 by afmom03
	wanting the holidays to be over (Preview) I have started a new job, albeit a contract job, and am feeling the isolation I live in tremendously. I guess that is the issue of coming out of survival it hurts. Christmas with the A was horrendous. He didn't crash anything or smash anything but it was close. He let th...	maresie2	4	436	Dec 31, 2006 by CJ
	First timer: need help w/daughter! (Preview) My first time on this site. Tomorrow we go to rehab to visit our daughter. She's 35, an RN, alcoholic and sex we're told.... i didn't realize! She's ending, i think, third marriage and involved with another guy, of course, wanting us to think he's awesome.... i don't know what to do or say! She has two kid...	beecharmer	7	470	Dec 31, 2006 by nmike
	Witnessing and Gratitude (Preview) I can make choices in my own life - in my actions, words, and even thoughts if I work at it. But when it comes to others, I am just a witness. This not only applies to alcoholics, but to their families and friends - in and out of the Alanon rooms, who are suffering the consequences of the disease. I can't m...	barisax	8	521	Dec 31, 2006 by snoopy
	step two.....came to believe/ what you would not believe (Preview) you would not believe what is going on here today. i am glad i don't have kids around to see the idiocity of this behavior. the other night i told my husband , "i am not going to act dumb anymore so you can feel smart." well, today we were watching a true life program on TV about a plane crash. I sa...	jewely	9	434	Dec 30, 2006 by jewely
	frustrated and REALLY feeling angry (Preview) Hello This anger has been building for several days. My soon-to-be ex A/cocaine-addicted husband was fired from his job back in September, around the same time I filed for divorce. He's still not working. Apparently, he fought his former employer and was able to get unemployment benefits just...	artygirl	11	437	Dec 30, 2006 by Tiger2006
	How can I help my 12 year old son? (Preview) Hey there guys! As many of you know, I am pretty new to alanon ... I'm really liking what I'm reading, learning and gaining from all of you - thank you. However, I am not new to alcoholism - in fact I was born into it. Now, I'm married into it. This experience is all new to my 12 year old s...	Spiritually Calm	4	436	Dec 30, 2006 by CJ
	So this is how my day has went ... (Preview) I was thinking I would write in my journal right about now ... but then I thought I would post what I would've written ... it may even prove to be much more therapeutic. It is my AH's 41st birthday today. I picked him up from work at 8am, as usual (I'm off for the holiday week - yahoo!)&nb...	Spiritually Calm	4	454	Dec 30, 2006 by twinkie
	God sure speaks in mysterious ways..... (Preview) Just now, tonight, at 11:46 p.m., I looked at the inspirational reading for December 29. Here is what it says, and if anyone has been keeping up with my posts, this is an eye-opener: I will be having his sister pick him and his stuff up in the morning. And as my heart is breaking, here...	hippietrippiechick	3	332	Dec 30, 2006 by twinkie
	To ALL: please help----needing a sponsor real bad--MAJOR LIFE CHANGE OCCURING AS I SPEAK (Preview) Hello and happy Saturday morning (early--6:30am) to all I have put things into action and my A's sister is due to come here and come pick him and his stuff up. I will push it. I am calling her as early as possible to give her a heads up that my A and I have talked about i...	hippietrippiechick	4	419	Dec 30, 2006 by Friendofyours
	Breakthrorugh! (at the art museam, no less!) (Preview) Today I finally ponied up and rode down town to the local art museam, where various pieces of Rembrant are on loan. Seeing that the museam will be open tomorrow, I realized, "Hey, I have to work today--why not come back tomorrow when I can take all the time I want in the exibits and not have to worry about it...	Tiger2006	6	342	Dec 30, 2006 by itsgot2bgd
	Thats it...Im out. (HELP) (Preview) Okay. im new here. It seems like a lot of people come her when they are out of options and just need a little help. well, add me to the list of those people cause im building a bridge an im over this crap. yeah, im a little pissed off. I feel totaly cheated. okay stop...rewi...	Klutz	4	444	Dec 30, 2006 by Klutz
	I want to start (Preview) I haven't done any steps or anything, I just feel so isolated I don't know what to do. My husband has been drinking for about a year now, but before that he hasn't drank in about 20 years, being an active member of AA/NA. I guess we wanted to be normal and drink a glass of wine like everyone else, but it soon be...	RainyJamie	10	567	Dec 30, 2006 by Karilynn
	Taking Meds is one of my issues! (Preview) Dare I bring up this heat filled subject again? The discussions on this in the past have put my mind to unrest. I realized this morning I have an "issue" with this subject. My insanity starts in the morning. Bright and early. Depending on how quick I get to my HP and an alanon...	greta	5	426	Dec 30, 2006 by Karilynn
	Drunk envy (Preview) Something that I have seen a lot in myself, and can tell that others do it too, from posts here, is to envy the drunk. "He gets to sit in the bar, while I have to blah blah" we say. He's out drinking, or passed out in front of the TV, while we raise the kids, keep the house, earn the living, be the adult. The l...	lin0606	21	745	Dec 30, 2006 by TLC2
	Are the Games Beginning Again? (Preview) I determined in September I could no longer live with my AH, active or not. When he returned from detox/rehab, I took the kids (7-1/2, nearly 6 and nearly 4 now) and left. I just can't trust him, and can't live with the insanity any longer. I filed for divorce, and we've put our...	lmw	4	426	Dec 30, 2006 by lin0606
	Divorce party (Preview) I'm simply looking for your opinions on this one. A friend of mine in the program is getting a divorce from her husband the A after 20 years of marriage. They are both known well in the local programs. Yesterday I received an email from her announcing a divorce party when she gets her final pap...	Mobirdie	2	300	Dec 30, 2006 by lin0606
	Just too FUNNNY!!! (Preview) I'm witnessing my 70 lb German Shephard play with a 1 1/2 lb Ferret!!!! I can't describe it but it is one of the most funny things I've ever seen... my shep is so gentle... but doesn't keep her from puttin her big paw on the ferrets tail and keeping her in one place... aww jeez	CJ	4	392	Dec 30, 2006 by carosie
	Celebrating New Year's Eve (Preview) Just wanted to briefly talk about New Year's Eve - if any of your lives are like mine - before recovery I spent many a New Year's Eve miserable. Usually at a family party I didn't want to go to, watching people drink, play cards, etc. - just nothing enjoyable for me. Thankfully today, I have a prog...	Rita G	6	352	Dec 30, 2006 by carosie
	Don't know if I can do this after all... (Preview) Hi there everyone. Some of you may remember my story from about 6 months ago, for those that don't it is the usual one. My partner started going to AA about 8 months ago after she was arrested in our own home and finally admitted to having a problem. Being a guy I did the usual guy stuff....I stood by her...	Mike5056	13	593	Dec 30, 2006 by lin0606
	Feeling my rage today... (Preview) Where does this stuff come from? I've been fine all week and then this afternoon - wham! I met my A at the health club and we were talking about his son, he made a very innocent comment which made me stand my ground and stand up for myself. That wasn't bad. What was bad was t...	twinkie	2	370	Dec 30, 2006 by Fifi
	I'M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC! WHATEVER! (Preview) OH....OK....I guess I put a gun to your mother's head and FORCED her to go sign papers with me to get help for YOU...because you don't have a drinking problem! I guess I put a gun to your brother's head and FORCED him to stay on the phone ALL DAY looking for someway to get you help...because YOU don't have a d...	afmom03	3	491	Dec 30, 2006 by Karilynn
	Fifth Step (Preview) I have havered at my fifth step for too long. I need someone to do my fifth step with now - as in, as soon as possible. If you are in the USA, and can be reached by phone or have an e-mail address or instant messenger I could communicate with you by, and would volunteer to hear my brief story, I des...	LoriaR	1	311	Dec 30, 2006 by CJ
	Another date night ... (Preview) I went to my counselor the other day and he told me to be patient, live in the moment and not to be so hard on myself. To give my husband the time he wants to figure this out on his own.. Then I spoke to my husband that agreed that he needed "space" time to be alone to "fix" himself. Although it was hard to hear b...	Tammy	6	437	Dec 30, 2006 by marmare
	Thanks (Preview) I really appreciate the replies I rec'd re: grandkids and DIL -. I have read over and over my books on communication etc---and I am soooooooo afraid to "say anything" to her--like I don't want to "rock the boat" But I already suffer with very high BP and I know this does not help. So I a...	meagain	0	250	Dec 30, 2006 by meagain
	Ashamed to be like a newcomer again.. (Preview) im posting here again lately and feel ashamed and angry at mysef for doing so. even though posting here is probably keeping me sane. i allowed myself to fall into the same pattern of being the doormat where my ex "A" was concerned. after swearing to myself that i wuld not allow any other man to treat me t...	Rebecca	7	416	Dec 30, 2006 by marmare
	restless mind (Preview) so i can't sleep either while my A boyfriend is away at rehab...i get up with my mind racing on negative codependant thoughts.....am i visiting too much(each weekend)?does he reallywant me to visit?i want time with him,not all his new addict friends?what about me?would he be driving 2 hours to see me...	Fifi	5	273	Dec 30, 2006 by Lunamoth
	Addiction, adultry, and abuse-- an impediment to a functional marriage (Preview) Dr. Laura Schlessinger talks about the three A's, any of which is an impediment to a functional marriage -- and those are adultery, addiction, and abuse. Well, guess what boys and girls-- I got to endure all 3 of them by my A husband. What a guy!!! How did I get so lucky? I firmly believe that...	snoopy	12	673	Dec 29, 2006 by ShelBell
	What do I do? (Preview) How do I deal with my hubby? He's gone back to drinking again. I don't know what to do.	mookie	7	381	Dec 29, 2006 by Mobirdie
	Can anyone give me a little info (Preview) I have a friend here in England who has never mastered the English language. Her first language is Cantonese. Second language Manderin. She's really struggling here. As you will all know living with active alcoholism is isolating at the best of times but with a language barrier this is compounded...	mon123	4	487	Dec 29, 2006 by mon123
	a very gross story (Preview) i grew up in an alcoholic home. denile was what our family was based on. my uncle was the drunk, died of the disease. he would be stinking drunk, falling down the stairs and my mother would look me right in the eye and say he wasn't drunk. so, when i grew up and married an alcoholic/crack addict and he said he...	serendipity	9	553	Dec 29, 2006 by maire rua
	be careful what you ask for (Preview) Be careful what you ask for, because when you find out you might just have to do something about it. I just wanted to know for sure and now I do. A quick update... my AH and I reconciled 6 months ago after he had been clean and sober and working a program. Sometime this past fall that nagging feeling bega...	confused	6	405	Dec 29, 2006 by danz123
	Today I am a newcomer - humility... (Preview) If I had to get a 24 hour coin for every time I relapsed, what a collection I would have. What a great reminder to me that sobriety is one day at a time, for me and my alcoholic husband. As I slip in my own recovery, why am I so obsessed with whether or not he is slipping in his? Why am I focusing on him and not on mys...	confused	6	411	Dec 29, 2006 by CJ
	IM TAKING TIME OUT OF CHATROOM (Preview) ((((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))))))))) I'm finding It really hard just now with things In my life. I think I have hit a rock bottom the last few days. I am crying all the time, feeling sorry for Ally. So I think the best think I can do Is spend some time with just me. Try to work through some of...	ally	18	709	Dec 29, 2006 by doxie
	Cannot Sleep (Preview) I took the chance to go see my orignal sponsor while my bf was here visiting at Xmas. My orignal sponsor was AA and went back to drinking. It was a sad sight to see him in such bad shape. This man who was my sponsor was once about a good 275 and now he is skin and bones. What w...	ZiggyDoodles	4	295	Dec 29, 2006 by CJ
	Feeling used (Preview) : i guess over the years-I have turned into a people pleaser. I think living with in the past and having a A brother and X husband-I was always trying to keep the peace. Well now as I am older and perhaps tired (lol) I no longer can do that. My DIL leaves her kids with me for 2 weeks during working...	meagain	4	473	Dec 29, 2006 by CJ
	Anger & letting go (Preview) I've been struggling with letting something go. When I first met my A I was 18 and in College working for a resturaunt. He came in to see an old girlfriend and there began my relationship w/ my A. Now what I'm struggling with is the anger I have about the lie... the lie that set me to beli...	Lunamoth	10	1401	Dec 29, 2006 by thinkstoomuch
	So I blew a gasket earlier LOL (Preview) Okay, I should have offered you all some cheese to go with my last post as it was a very big whine LOL. We've had the flu here and I've had tooooo much time to lay around and think -- stinking thinking. One thing I've always been asked is "Do you really think your A sits and thinks about you as much as y...	Lunamoth	7	513	Dec 29, 2006 by twinkie
	WE HAD A BLOWOUT FIGHT HE IS PACKED UP... NOW WHAT? (Preview) I am going to explain the blow out my A and I had last night, but now all his shit is piled in bags all over my living room. He keeps blaming me. I can't lay down right at night like him. My mind is always open. I stay up until I am ready to sleep. Sometimes sleep doesn't come for a long time. H...	hippietrippiechick	2	425	Dec 29, 2006 by maresie2
	Come on Happy Dance With Me (Preview) Ziggy is a very happy girl today!!!! I will be happy dancing all night long...getting my groove going!!!!!!!!!! My BF who lives 500 miles away called this afternoon to ask if he could come stay a while with me......"Uh Hello? This is me you are talking to! Staying with me is a GIVE...	ZiggyDoodles	5	424	Dec 29, 2006 by Rita G
	SLIVERS AND DAGGERS (Preview) I WOKE UP THIS MORNING FEELING LIKE I HAD SLIVERS IN MY BRAIN AND DAGGERS IN MY BACK. christmas is over, and, it was so HARD. throughout the holiday, i justkept coming to my computer and typing whatever my brain told my fingers to do. i would look back on what i wrote and think.........., "uh...	jewely	9	415	Dec 29, 2006 by ally
	busy mac57 (Preview) Hi all, I have my friend working on my house in the mornings, with me as his helper/runner/employer; then I work at night. It's been a bit grueling, and this is a tired boy. My friend is dear, funny and kind, as well as a professional, and an active A. I couldn't have imagined how tiresome dealing with th...	mac57	11	593	Dec 29, 2006 by mel123
	Husband says his anger is my fault (Preview) My husband who is divorcing me told our family doctor that I am at fault for his raging, his anger, his abuse, his cheating and I guess all his other problems. He said that I make him crazy and that is why he broke his hand pounding on the chair. I made him rag...	snoopy	35	2032	Dec 29, 2006 by mama_nz
	When is enuf, enuf and ok for me to express my needs? (Preview) So this morning my AH needs money to buy alchohol. (He drinks at least 5 days/wk) Lately my concern has been the amount of money that he spends on it. I have told him that he can drink all he wants if he can afford it. We are married and consider the money "ours". However, I...	Spiritually Calm	5	405	Dec 29, 2006 by Spiritually Calm
	weird and confusing (Preview) hey guys its 12 o clock midnight here in Ireland, wind is howling and rain lashing off the window.. im sitting in my bedroom with C.S.I Miami on in the background and a steaming mug of hot chocolate... im just after a phonecall with my ex "A"... he had rang earlier in the day saying he was visiti...	Rebecca	2	338	Dec 28, 2006 by nmike
	So what happens next ???? (Preview) It has been a while since I have posted, why I am not sure.. I have read posts just havent posted myself. It has been almost 4 months since my seperation from my husband. He is still living in the camper at a campground across town while the kids and I are in the house. While we are seperated we talk sever... >>	Tammy	7	644	Dec 28, 2006 by nmike
	Here it comes, I think (Preview) He was trying to draw me into a stupid game with the phone and it didn't work. The next day he called me and waited for the reaction from me that he hoped for - angry, yelling,etc. - so he could tell me I had a problem. Take things off him and put it on me....	jaja	4	367	Dec 28, 2006 by Maria123
	Had to share (Preview) I found this quote a couple days ago and decided that I had to share....I will write more when time allows, work, home, and grandkids keeping this girl busy, but still read the posts here and am working my program! Love ya all!!! Hugs Mary “I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adj...	marmare	1	295	Dec 28, 2006 by emma
	A love story (Preview) ..Juliette leans longingly over the balcony. "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" Romeo tumbles into her balcony and staggers over to her, and breathily whispers to her in hot boozy breath "hey bebe, sorry I'm late, but you know how it is, mama. Howzz about a kuss.."...	mama_nz	4	386	Dec 28, 2006 by mama_nz
	He made it to detox/rehab yesterday... (Preview) Well, he finally made it through the doors of the detox centre. He was scarred - yes most definately but before he went he tipped the last of his vodka bottle out. It is just me and my son now for the next two weeks. I'm not silly in my expectation that when he gets out he will be cured and all wi...	bear	6	389	Dec 28, 2006 by lin0606
	Feeling anger .. a vent (Preview) Hello ((Everyone)) I've been having judgemental and uncharitable thoughts towards my As family lately. For years now they have held the belief that I kept him from being around them, participating in activities. i admit sometimes I did try to, for the most part though while my A was trying to stay s...	Jennifer	3	439	Dec 28, 2006 by twinkie
	I took the high road, but it still hurts (Preview) Ok, I do need ESH here. I did take the high road regarding my A's EX at his family's Christmas morning breakfast and gift-giving. I have never spoken ill of her to his daughter, nor have I spoken cross to her in any way...always nice, always positive. Christmas morning...I saw her when w...	lmt123	9	608	Dec 28, 2006 by Tiger2006
	Be careful what you wish for (Preview) For the last 6 years or so the A has spent every Christmas with his mother. I used to be so filled with jealousy and abandonment about it. I had some kind of fantasy that if he were around he would be "there". Well this year I got to experience a Christmas with the a. He had tantrums,...	maresie2	4	458	Dec 28, 2006 by hersh
	I think I took a step backwards (Preview) I told awhile ago of my plan to give my A son money and hold his car until he could buy it back. Well, it didn't happen right away but has finally about 2 weeks ago. Anyway, he is at my home this week because his daughters are spending the week with us. He had a cyst under his arm which had become infected. H...	Gailey	8	446	Dec 28, 2006 by Rita G
	Another tough learning experience. Help...... (Preview) I am very ok now. I woke up today and decided to get some pictures together for my adoptive mom. After three nights in a row of my loved ones dieing, the ones who are dead, Richard M Tyson/an actor falling in love with me and wow can he kiss. I was telling him I could not sleep with him until we wer...	debilyn	9	628	Dec 28, 2006 by maresie2
	my first time here (Preview) Hello. This is my first time reaching out on line or in any way. I fell in love with an alchoholic a year ago - just brought him to detox 2 weeks ago - pick him up tomorrow. I am scared,confused, don't know where to start over, don't know how to hold onto me, am afraid of doing the wrong thing, afraid of not be...	Fifi	13	543	Dec 28, 2006 by hippietrippiechick
	Thought for Today (Preview) *This is a reading from a little perpetual inspiration calendar my dear friend gave me before she died last year. She died December 29, 2005.* The Mountanins are God's thoughts piled up. The ocean is God's thoughts spread out. The flowers are God's thoughts in...	hippietrippiechick	0	278	Dec 28, 2006 by hippietrippiechick
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