The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went to my counselor the other day and he told me to be patient, live in the moment and not to be so hard on myself. To give my husband the time he wants to figure this out on his own.. Then I spoke to my husband that agreed that he needed "space" time to be alone to "fix" himself. Although it was hard to hear but I said okay.. I left and he called within a few hours. Then again and again.. ( so much for space ) .. That night we spoke just like always, for nearly an hour.. He began saying lets do.. lets do... I said okay .. Last night we went to dinner and it was GREAT, we laughed, talked and had a really good time. He drank sweet tea with his dinner and it didnt stop him from having a good time. Then about 9pm, he said I have to go . I have to get ready for work in the am, i didnt cry, wasnt sad just said okay and walked him out..
It is those times I realize I really love this MAN just HATE the disease !! HE really needs to FIGHT hard !!
Taking one day at a time is hard for someone who is as organized, and detailed as me.. I like to know what I am doing, I have to have a plan.. Living one day at a time seems unreasonable and living one moment at a time seems impossible.. Being spontaneous is very hard for a planner... Another area that I have to work on ..
I named 2006 a year of CHANGE.. I have changed in 2006 that is for sure.. Now 2007 is the year I really begin to TAKE CARE OF ME :) My kids are growing up and both are teens, I have spent so much time focusing on everyone else that I forgot to focus on ME :)
So 2007 its about taking care of ME... Spiritually, Emotionally, and Physicially..
Thanks for allowing me to be apart of this GREAT BOARD
This is great to hear, I think I will follow your lead for 2007. I too have made many difficult choices and changes in 2006 but I need to take care of me in 2007 in every way. Thanks for your post.
I, like you, have problems with one day at a time, but my understanding of this principle has grown as I work my program. Although we need not live in the past nor in the future, there is a certain amount of planning that is required to live sanely in today.
I have found that the Traditions have been very helpful to me in this area. I have heard it said in the rooms that the Steps save a person, but the Traditions teach us how to live.
One that has been extremely helpful to me is Tradition 7: That we are self supporting, declining outside contributions. To me this means that I need to be able to take care of myself and my children regardless of what the alcoholic is or is not doing. I can wait around forever for someone else, or I can just take care of me. I am mine own responsibility.
As you begin the New Year, look back upon all of the progress you have made. The ups and downs, and guess what, you are still here, you are ok. By doing the next right thing, you made it. Wow!
One of the things I have done is print out all my postings here....I have a journal to go back to and see how far I have come, that I have stumbled and gotten back to my feet stronger then ever. You should be proud of yourself. My A and I have been seperated by choice and not by choice a couple/few times in the last two years....I am stronger and love my life more everyday and I think that comes from not being so wrapped up in HIS life....it's an amazing and wonderful journey, this thing called life. I know what you mean when you say you love your man...I love mine too....Hang in there...remember we are right where we are supposed to be when we're there, we have to be to become the person we are meant to be....
