The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Dr. Laura Schlessinger talks about the three A's, any of which is an impediment to a functional marriage -- and those are adultery, addiction, and abuse. Well, guess what boys and girls-- I got to endure all 3 of them by my A husband. What a guy!!! How did I get so lucky? I firmly believe that people like him should be sterilized. Why put innocent children through this? Why do assholes like my husband want to get married anyway? I would have alot more respect for them if they just chose the bottle and saved some poor innocent woman a lifetime of misery. Has anyone else ever felt this way? Anyway, thanks for letting me vent, and I'm sorry if I offended anyone. It's just that my therapist said it's time for me to get mad. I think she's right, its all a part of the process of letting go. Thanks for the memories, asshole!!!
get angry. spew it out of your mouth. i concur. much better flowing out than staying in. i hope your therapist also suggested to keep it based on specific instances. my experience offers all that anger and to have an outlet where i can release and it be gone... *p00f* for me, since anger and resentment usually fester, i let it out, feel it, acknowledge it, and then give it to my HP... he/she can handle it much better than me, so I let go of it, and let God put it in its place.
thanks for the share!!! take care of yourself and kiddies with love cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
i have heard dr. laura speak of the three A's [addiction, abuse, adultry].
at the time i wondered if she had ever heard of the two A's[alcoholic anonymous].
you certainly have not offended me.
quite the contrary.
i feel so much for you.
i recently said i have decided the alcoholism is the disease of a-- holes.
they are all so arrogant.
but i guess it's the ism that makes them this way.
i do wonder..........,
why do we love them?
i sat down last night and very gently told my husband that some of his actions are hurtful to me. i saw him transform into a block of frozen petrified wood right before my eyes. i thought he was going to ask me, ''why do you have to say things that make me feel bad'',boo hoo. but he didn't he got up and walked away. it is 1:30 the following afternoon and he still hsn't said a word to me.
i brought him his morning coffee, tried to have a cheery disposition and have finally resolved.......,
[in the words of Rhett Butler from the movie Gone With the Wind,]
yea, it's okay to have and let it out. but really, what are we all (includes me) gonna do about finding a life without anger??? after all, do we really want anger in our everyday? not me!
yours in recovery cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
perhaps, just for today... the way i see things, though, anger is like a football, it gets easy to pass it around and very easy for everyone around us to play. it is an infection, to me, i choose to look it at as a 'defect of character', i need to be angry, at times, but i need to let it go and not infect the people i love, the people i care about, and even choose not to infect the people i could label enemies... just food for thought
with love, as always cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
no no no no no --- this is a big board, we share here ---- it is a sounding board ------ we all have feelings!!!! we are HUMANS!!!! YES, WE ARE. Anger is a feeling that each and every one of us has deal with - this topic is soooo important to us, because we have lots and lots and lots to learn inside of it - how to deal - how to think about it - how to let it go - how to use it -
DON'T YOU EVER APOLOGIZE FOR BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF AND THIS GROUP. TELLING/SHARING OF OURSELVES IS THE EXACT REASON WHY THIS PLACE IS SO SPECIAL. You cannot possibly hurt someone here by sharing -- we take what we want, and we leave the rest.
((((((jewel)))))) love yourself, and be loved... be loved by me and the fellow roomies (as that one Hen puts it).. you are sooo tremendously special, and so thoughtful and introspective - don't you dare give up your genuineness; especially in the name of thinking you might do 'harm' to someone here
((((((jewel)))))) stand up, smile at you, you are an amazing woman, dealing with amazingly tough situations --- ((((((JEWEL)))))), indeed you are
with love, always cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
i try so hard not to look on the alcoholics behavior, not to react, to let it go,
but,
JUST FOR TODAY,
i am so tired of him.
i cannot seem to ignore his niggling nastiness, just poking and prodding until i am reduced to a pile of nothingness. i just don't get it........,
if i am nice, it seems to bring out his cruelty, as if he resents the fact that i can be nice.
it i am not nice, it seems to bring out his cruelty, as if he resents the fact that i can be not nice.
soooooo,
i am d-mned if i do and d-mned it i don't.
how long i will be able to go on like this, " i just don't know".
GOD GRANT ME THE WISDOM.
blessings and love,
jewely,
'' AN YE SHALL HARM NONE''
i am sorry if i harmed anyone by my earlier post.
I can relate totally. And--you don't have to apologize, no harm was done to anyone. I think it is a good thing to be able to express anger, finally. For so many years we were walking on eggshells trying to keep peace and not get angry no matter how badly we were treated. In my case, sometimes when he was sulking about God knows what--I would try to help and ask him if he was ok. One time he turned to me with hate and said, "Why, did you do anything to not make me ok? Just a sarcastic venemous thing to spew at supposedly someone that you love. I know he did feel bad about that one tho, because in counseling later, he said "what kind of an asshole would say that to someone they love?" I don't think he can stand himself. Yet, I know he is a narcissist. You just keep on posting, reading and talking and eventually the answers will come.
right on, annie, write on, perhaps i over-reacted instead of responding in that previous post; i feel ultra-sensitive to anger, as maybe the case with others, especially with violence involved. thanks for your post
with love cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
I felt guilty for being pissed for a long time.... Addiction is a disease,yes, but one with a certain amount of choice. I had to accept that I was mad not about the alcoholism itself, but the choices that kept him there, and that it was not just okay for me to be angry, but normal. Once he came to the realization that he needed help, he went on for 2 more years because he was afraid. I would get so pissed when he talked about bow bad he felt for becoming the man he had become, yet not have the balls to do anything about it.
The anger is good, Snoopy, feel it. After all, you'd get angry if somebody tried to steal your wallet, right? Let yourself have it, you deserve it.
