Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all... we've had lots of great discussion on the board in recent weeks about the subjects of "enabling" and "detachment", so I thought I'd post some great information about both of these items, direct from an expert in the field..... Hope it clarifies some of the misconcep...

junehouse · junehouse

Hello, So here I am all grown up and mature. Self reflective and saddned by my weaknesses and having developed skills to combat them to some extent. So my question is...? Yes, I grew up in isolation and chaos with two alcoholic parents who where both likely personality disordered or mentally ill in a...

stariana · stariana

I have never posted my own topic on here, only replied to others. I seem to gain strength from reading other peoples problems and the responses they receive. So bear with me - I NEVER ask for help. One of my "wonderful" coping skills learned very young! ahahaha My life in a nutshell... daug...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Well brothers and sisters, I am having a very difficult time, once again, with my oldest son. Who has graduated from high school. By the skin of his teeth. Now we are working on gettng grants, scholarships, or loans for his college education. None of which he wants to participate in. I have tried to talk...

carosie · carosie

This morning in the meeting the topics were detachment and gratitude...as I sat here pondering the topics a thought came to mind. When I am detaching I can be in a mindset of gratitude. I know for me gratitude aids me in keeping my serenity. When I am feeling grateful for all I do have I do feel I'm in a pla...

ddub · ddub

Hi family, I know lots of the slogans now like aware, accept, action etc but my mode of operation seems to be progress, then the slip or regression that can follow sneaks up on me and I wallow so much I don't even realize what has come over me so I could give myself 15 min of self pity. It takes me days to becom...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Still find it hard to work this programme by myself. As some of the family are aware, there are no f2f meetings in my area and so I do not have that option. And, I do not have a sponsor on hand to telephone or meet up with. What I do have is this forum and this family, however it is really hard some days to walk th...

Suzannah · Suzannah

This has got to be one of the happiest days (4 June) I have had for years. For the first time since my 21st birthday, I celebrated my birthday and even had a birthday cake, which I was able to share with friends. My daughter spent half an hour chatting to me. I received a plant and a balloon too. So wonderful....

QOD · QOD

This is great and I am so proud of myself for it. :) I went into my son's bedroom yesterday after work, looking for my flashlight. Well, I found 2 bongs on his floor, right out in the open. They were made out of plastic bottles and he had used my Pampered Chef Scissors to cut them. I was pissed. They re...

Maria123 · Maria123

Hey gang, If anyone lives in or around Washington DC on or near the Metro, would you send me a pm? Thanks, Maria

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

It started this morning, I had to urge him out the door (as usual). When my back was turned he said "Don't F*ckin b*tch at me" we had a couple words, but really I just took a deep breath and went to the car, I could hear him swearing from inside the house. We didn't talk until I came home just now. I...

kitty · kitty

Maybe it is just life or my inability to deal, cope in a balanced way... but it feels like the Bunny Hop, u know one jump forwards, two back. Sometimes it feels like I get an inch forward & fall 25 blocks back, from just a word or being in an unstable mood & being 'thrown from my serenity' but that is...

szeyamo · szeyamo

Another question from a newbie. Is seeking out Al-Anon support something that one can discuss with the A ... or do you just do your own part and say nothing?

kitty · kitty

I don't know why I am always so amazed when I feel love from others here but it is true. I have connections & attachments to so many wonderful, anonymous people here, whom of which I will never meet but we really do love each other. It is such a Blessing to be understood, accepted & not judged. So...

glad · glad

I am so sick and tired of him coming home "dead tired" and immediately sucking down as many beers as possible. There is no room for anything else between us. Yes, I know I'm lucky he's not at bars or beating me but ughh!! Then he wakes up in the mornings (with barely enough time to walk out the doo...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

A few of you asked about the date, it fell through, I had stuff to get done, the guy called and was not able to come and I was actually kind of releived because I had so much other stuff to do. I DO have a date tonight though with a different guy... we'll see how that goes - will report! LOL

debilyn · debilyn

Have shared how my two grown kids will not be real with me. I have not called my son. Wanted to just leave him alone. had to call becuz i needed info from our shared family cells. he immediately went into a tirade at me. does not matter what, was all convaluted stuff from when he was a kid, blaming me for our fa...

nmike · nmike

My AHsober moved out 3 years ago today. Don't love you he said; never did. He threatened leaving, divorce for most of our 30 year marriage. For me there has been sadness and pain in these 3 years. He finally gave me divorce papers in January and then again in March. I made changes in red and wrote that he sho...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, I was feeling a bit down today, cleaning rooms and prepping for dinner while waiting for my kids to come home from their fun-filled weekend with their dad. Then this email came from my sister - I never saw this one before. I thought immediately of all of you here at MIP. Not only does this apply...

Suzannah · Suzannah

...it's interesting what brings one to a standstill and why. I caught myself doing this today. I sat down at my desk and was thinking that it was time I sorted out some of the papers that had accumulated during this past week alone. When I finally got to the bottom of the pile I noticed that most of the pap...

Wilted · Wilted

Below is a letter I just sent to my AH. We have not talked for days and it is the only way I feel I can communicate with him without our butting our heads against a brick wall trying to communicate this orally. Our marriage has been based on lies and deception from the beginning of it almost 4 years ago, and I a...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Family- I need your best wishes, thoughts and prayers for a job interview the afternoon of June 3rd. I very much want this job! But I know that if I do not get it, there is a better one coming!! Thank you for your love and support- Hugs, J.

mysticperl · mysticperl

There is a fairly new AA/Alanon right across the street from me & I want to go but I'm so scared to go. I know once I go to that first meeting that I won't be so afraid. I need to do something because I'm at my wits end! My brother is an alcoholic, my son is an alcoholic & my daughter is a drug addict &...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I have been helping some friends put in a garden recently- vegetables. we put in these itsy bitsy teeny weeny tomato plants and then put these HUGE metal cages around them for climbing on and holding them up when they get big and start producing. I thought this was such a good picture of recovery. I fee...

Alaina · Alaina

I have been trying to deal with my sisters crack addiction for about the last 4 years. Over the years she has been arrested, gone to jail, faced prison time, lost her home, her car, her friends, etc..... In the begining we all tried to help her, bailing her out, enabling her behavior. Knowing we were not h...

tsc2094 · tsc2094

i am just not sure where to turn or what to do anymore, In July of 2003 i left a very abusive alcoholic relationship with my husband, and i was looking for another relationship when along comes my high school sweetheart, he was recently separated and going through much of what i was going through at the ti...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

As he retired, he said: "I have known fear and the terrors of solitude. I have known those fair-weather friends we call tranquilizers and drugs. I have known the prison of depression and the confinement of hospital. But one day, I was able to come through all of that, dazzled yet sober."

Amh2amd · Amh2amd

Hi All I am new on this site today, looking for some advice really. I split from my husband 18mth ago because of his drinking, I could no longer hide it from my daughter 9 years old at time. Since then he has carried on drinking, letting my daughter down forgetting what day he said he will see her, he has been...

maresie · maresie

I spent my entire life being over reactive. I was at my worst with the A in total overkill all the time. I was like a hair trigger gong off the deep end at any moment. I would call him at least 20 times a day. Talk about giving my power over to him. I'd call and rant and at him or beg him to come home. Of course I...

hush · hush

I wanted to say thanks to everyone for encouraging me to go to a face to face Al-Anon meeting. I went this morning. They said I should try to attend 6 meetings in 6 days. I'm not sure where to find one tomorrow, but the place I chose has them every week night, as well as on Saturday. Also, I was told by many...

HaloGirl · HaloGirl

I grew up in an environment where talking about sad things or painful feelings was not encouraged. Often I had to suppress my feelings. I was told and taught not to pay attention to situations in my life, which were painful. Often times I felt empty inside. I dont like to play the victim; but for the fir...

Maria123 · Maria123

(((((Friends)))))), Tom's post touched my heart and as many of you know, I lost my "adopted mom" last week and did her eulogy. At the end of the service, so many relatives and friends told me that my words captured the true essence of her. One even shared that though he did not know her prior...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am starting to get itchy feet again, I am having thoughts of moving to where I don't know for sure (Diva???). I have been irritated with changes at my job that make it more difficult, I am frustrated with working two jobs and most of all I am FED UP with the schools here. I have accumulated too much stuff...

glad · glad

I had some really good stuff happen this weekend that I may put in another post but I need to vent about a crazy dream first please. Quick background: All weekend A/ BF seemed in a "daze". Most weekends he will at least make some small attempt to connect a little (NEVER deep but he will at le...

Jorbax · Jorbax

Ok.......recap.....allowed 58 yr old brother to move in with us.....apparently a binge type drinker......lost his "new" job due to drinking episodes 3 weeks ago.... I 've been to 3 f2f mtgs.....just haven't been able to get back in over a week (kiddos are now out of school for summer and...

laurab · laurab

Hi All, I've been coming here every day and reading everything. It is a great help and I thank you all. I am trying hard to do things again. We went to the movies. We are seeing friends again. I get distressed when I am having a good time, and then my A Son flashes through my head and I start wondering where he i...

meagain · meagain

I am really trying to be positive and working on "recovery". I am trying to be assertiv e in a loving way. My oldest son (35) more or less accused me of their marriage problems. My Ex AH always mentally abused me. Now I find my son is doing the exact same thing. This I will not except. I tried whe...

hush · hush

I wanted to say thanks to everyone for encouraging me to go to a face to face Al-Anon meeting. I went this morning. They said I should try to attend 6 meetings in 6 days. I'm not sure where to find one tomorrow, but the place I chose has them every week night, as well as on Saturday. Also, I was told by many...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Willpower is not the key to the way of life we are seeking. Surrender is. "I have spent much of my life trying to make people be, do, or feel something they aren't, don't want to do, and choose not to feel. I have made them, and myself, crazy in that process," said one recovering woman. I spe...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

We had severe weather move through on Memorial Day, and before I could get my surge protector unplugged, the lightning struck. Casey's General Store behind me went dark as did my house. It sounded like the earth split in two and I felt a tingling into my fingertips. It actually blew one of my breakers. M...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha All!! Took a day to get the time zone, jet lag, blues out of the way and make a report. Ruby Blue (middle name Azulema) is exactly like what a month old doll should be especially when perfectly dressed up by loving Mom and Dad. I had to smile checking out how they are reacting as "new" pare...

glad · glad

Some time ago in a meeting a lady metioned her son had been helped (then relapsed) by a free treatment center in Louisiana. But she did say it helped him I have not yet seen her again to ask the name of the program. Does anyone know of this or any free or low cost treatment centers. and by the way feed back o...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

It is so sad and screwed up. she was, maybe 10 years older than me. Her husband had a degenerative disability, and she became his caregiver. They had 3 children, and not alot of money. Her husband was one of the few people in this small town that made freinds with my husband. When my husband started drinki...

canadianguy · canadianguy

The recent threads on suicide have reminded me of a learning and awareness that I went through about four years ago.... I had met a friend, in one of my ex's Rehabs - his name was Garry, and he was the most unlikely of all friends for me at the time..... He was a lifelong addict/alcoholic, built like a bodyb...

Aloha · Aloha

I attended an Al-Anon birthday meeting last night. It was the first Al-Anon birthday meeting I've been to, and actually, it was really very small because at least on this side of the island, the region really hasn't set up any official regular birthday meetings for members like AA does. So, my spons...

hush · hush

I wanted to start a new post because I don't want to interrupt someone else's. I hope I get some response, as I'm new to this. I fell in love with an A and I'm struggling. It was his alcoholic grandfather he looked up to, and his own father who was strictly religious and non-alcoholic but very abusive. H...

keithw · keithw

So, I've been dating this girl for about a year. She's an adult child of an alcoholic. I love her and she's been there for me through a lot of tough things, and when we're good together we're really good. But our fights get so bad, it scares me. She has a severe fear of abandonment due to being raised in an alc...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

Tomorrow is going to be one of those days when my inner child just wants to hide under the covers. The kind of day that brings out fear. In the morning I have a meeting with my attorney, who is representing me in a custody case. Who I might add, intimidates me to no end, because she is very direct, matter of...

kitty · kitty

I am not quite sure what is happening other than multiple miracles - biggies - in the last 24 or so hours. My b/f bff (known him just a year, he's not in any 12 steps, not an A) anyway... has been talking to, planting seeds w/ my mother... yesterday after 30 years (I'm 40) of being a literal "parrot...

Aloha · Aloha

It has taken me nearly a month to recover from the drama I caught myself up in last month during the AA/Al-Anon convention. I became overwhelmed and then gravitated to old habits of wondering what my AH's next moves were going to be... when AH became irritable, I didn't know how to respond and berated my...

gardengal · gardengal

I have found lately that I am trying to do more than my body or mind can handle. And when I do not accomplish the tasks at hand I feel as if I have failed. When I analyze this , it takes me back to when I lived with my alcoholic, and all my failed attempts to make him sober, thus making me feel inadequate or a com...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Hey everyone! I haven't been able to post for some time. I can't remember the last time I did actually! I am doing OK. I have been obsessing over somethings but see how I can change that--get out of my head and do something to help me! I also need to keep in touch with my trusted friends in the program. I ha...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Well, as I continue with this programme, I realise that I have to keep on reminding myself that the steps are there for a purpose and if I take one step at a time in order I will reach the top of the ladder. So, I am now looking at Step 6, and to quote Courage to Change, I realise that it again sets out in simple te...

Becky1 · Becky1

It is with a heavy heart that I have made the decision to leave my AH. We have been thru so much stuff together, it is unreal. I can't even begin to remember all of it. How we started out so happy, then the drinking got worse, then the silent treatments started, then the yelling started. Then the threats...

hush · hush

I wanted to start a new post because I don't want to interrupt someone else's. I hope I get some response, as I'm new to this. I fell in love with an A and I'm struggling. It was his alcoholic grandfather he looked up to, and his own father who was strictly religious and non-alcoholic but very abusive. H...

Passion84ever · Passion84ever

I had the happy opportunity of being reunited with my childhood sweetheart of thirty years ago last year in the summer. It was the happiest I had ever been. He was married 29 years and unhappy, but not yet divorced. This made me feel insecure and vunerable. I also found myself reacting to his mood swings...

kitty · kitty

Dear Everybody, When I made that post the other day... it was not to say I was leaving MIP, I would never do that, finding al-anon on-line has been a life saver for me. I really, truly thought I was going to 'end it all.' I made my preparations and carried out about half of my plans. Somehow hp got to me v...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((Family))))), I came across this article on Martin Sheen and how he dealt with his son Charlie's addiction. Go to the aarp website: www.aarpmagazine.org and click on the article. It talks about his own addiction, Alanon and AA. I've always loved Martin Sheen (I secretly harbor a thing for h...

Beajour · Beajour

I've never posted something before and not sure how this goes - so I'm just going to write my thoughts and see if there's any feedback or thoughts from anybody... Two years ago I met "Adam", 9 months ago I finally "figured out" he is an alcoholic - he had hidden it and disguised his b...

glad · glad

The (young) new husband of a little girl (20) I care about as family hurt her, by "going on a blind date" messing around online etc. basicly like he missed the fact that he got married?? Anyway this is a kid who fooled all of us with all this talk of marriage and being excited about building a f...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Enabling vs. Detachment (Preview) Hi all... we've had lots of great discussion on the board in recent weeks about the subjects of "enabling" and "detachment", so I thought I'd post some great information about both of these items, direct from an expert in the field..... Hope it clarifies some of the misconcep...	canadianguy	4	3313	Jun 7, 2008 by maresie
	44 years old, NOW WHAT? Family pizza epiphany... (Preview) Hello, So here I am all grown up and mature. Self reflective and saddned by my weaknesses and having developed skills to combat them to some extent. So my question is...? Yes, I grew up in isolation and chaos with two alcoholic parents who where both likely personality disordered or mentally ill in a...	junehouse	11	891	Jun 7, 2008 by maresie
	The fine line between love & hate (Preview) I have never posted my own topic on here, only replied to others. I seem to gain strength from reading other peoples problems and the responses they receive. So bear with me - I NEVER ask for help. One of my "wonderful" coping skills learned very young! ahahaha My life in a nutshell... daug...	stariana	8	743	Jun 7, 2008 by Loupiness
	Uggghhh, not again!!! (Preview) Well brothers and sisters, I am having a very difficult time, once again, with my oldest son. Who has graduated from high school. By the skin of his teeth. Now we are working on gettng grants, scholarships, or loans for his college education. None of which he wants to participate in. I have tried to talk...	wildthang86	9	590	Jun 7, 2008 by Peggy7
	just a thought (Preview) This morning in the meeting the topics were detachment and gratitude...as I sat here pondering the topics a thought came to mind. When I am detaching I can be in a mindset of gratitude. I know for me gratitude aids me in keeping my serenity. When I am feeling grateful for all I do have I do feel I'm in a pla...	carosie	5	473	Jun 7, 2008 by Peggy7
	progress, wallow, restart (Preview) Hi family, I know lots of the slogans now like aware, accept, action etc but my mode of operation seems to be progress, then the slip or regression that can follow sneaks up on me and I wallow so much I don't even realize what has come over me so I could give myself 15 min of self pity. It takes me days to becom...	ddub	5	554	Jun 7, 2008 by Peggy7
	Longing for social interaction... (Preview) Still find it hard to work this programme by myself. As some of the family are aware, there are no f2f meetings in my area and so I do not have that option. And, I do not have a sponsor on hand to telephone or meet up with. What I do have is this forum and this family, however it is really hard some days to walk th...	Suzannah	5	492	Jun 7, 2008 by Peggy7
	My birthday (Preview) This has got to be one of the happiest days (4 June) I have had for years. For the first time since my 21st birthday, I celebrated my birthday and even had a birthday cake, which I was able to share with friends. My daughter spent half an hour chatting to me. I received a plant and a balloon too. So wonderful....	Suzannah	17	547	Jun 7, 2008 by cookie1971
	Proud of how I handled this!! (Preview) This is great and I am so proud of myself for it. :) I went into my son's bedroom yesterday after work, looking for my flashlight. Well, I found 2 bongs on his floor, right out in the open. They were made out of plastic bottles and he had used my Pampered Chef Scissors to cut them. I was pissed. They re...	QOD	7	658	Jun 6, 2008 by Jen
	anyone in or around Washington, DC (Preview) Hey gang, If anyone lives in or around Washington DC on or near the Metro, would you send me a pm? Thanks, Maria	Maria123	5	706	Jun 5, 2008 by Maria123
	Angry and verbally abusive (Preview) It started this morning, I had to urge him out the door (as usual). When my back was turned he said "Don't Fckin btch at me" we had a couple words, but really I just took a deep breath and went to the car, I could hear him swearing from inside the house. We didn't talk until I came home just now. I...	RainyJamie	13	562	Jun 5, 2008 by debbi
	the Bunny Hop (encouraging) (Preview) Maybe it is just life or my inability to deal, cope in a balanced way... but it feels like the Bunny Hop, u know one jump forwards, two back. Sometimes it feels like I get an inch forward & fall 25 blocks back, from just a word or being in an unstable mood & being 'thrown from my serenity' but that is...	kitty	5	451	Jun 5, 2008 by Phebe
	Does one discuss going to Al-Anon with the A? (Preview) Another question from a newbie. Is seeking out Al-Anon support something that one can discuss with the A ... or do you just do your own part and say nothing?	szeyamo	10	764	Jun 5, 2008 by szeyamo
	genuine love in the Program ( TY ) (Preview) I don't know why I am always so amazed when I feel love from others here but it is true. I have connections & attachments to so many wonderful, anonymous people here, whom of which I will never meet but we really do love each other. It is such a Blessing to be understood, accepted & not judged. So...	kitty	3	602	Jun 5, 2008 by Peggy7
	Experiment: What happens when you air your dirty laundry? (Preview) I am so sick and tired of him coming home "dead tired" and immediately sucking down as many beers as possible. There is no room for anything else between us. Yes, I know I'm lucky he's not at bars or beating me but ughh!! Then he wakes up in the mornings (with barely enough time to walk out the doo...	glad	7	722	Jun 4, 2008 by kitty
	The date (Preview) A few of you asked about the date, it fell through, I had stuff to get done, the guy called and was not able to come and I was actually kind of releived because I had so much other stuff to do. I DO have a date tonight though with a different guy... we'll see how that goes - will report! LOL	carolinagirl	8	604	Jun 4, 2008 by Becky1
	This hurts too dang much (Preview) Have shared how my two grown kids will not be real with me. I have not called my son. Wanted to just leave him alone. had to call becuz i needed info from our shared family cells. he immediately went into a tirade at me. does not matter what, was all convaluted stuff from when he was a kid, blaming me for our fa...	debilyn	14	855	Jun 4, 2008 by Becky1
	June 2 for me (Preview) My AHsober moved out 3 years ago today. Don't love you he said; never did. He threatened leaving, divorce for most of our 30 year marriage. For me there has been sadness and pain in these 3 years. He finally gave me divorce papers in January and then again in March. I made changes in red and wrote that he sho...	nmike	6	457	Jun 4, 2008 by Becky1
	The Invisible Mom (Preview) Hi Friends, I was feeling a bit down today, cleaning rooms and prepping for dinner while waiting for my kids to come home from their fun-filled weekend with their dad. Then this email came from my sister - I never saw this one before. I thought immediately of all of you here at MIP. Not only does this apply...	Loupiness	6	623	Jun 4, 2008 by stariana
	Stop, look, listen... (Preview) ...it's interesting what brings one to a standstill and why. I caught myself doing this today. I sat down at my desk and was thinking that it was time I sorted out some of the papers that had accumulated during this past week alone. When I finally got to the bottom of the pile I noticed that most of the pap...	Suzannah	2	438	Jun 4, 2008 by nmike
	Sometimes a letter is the only way..... (Preview) Below is a letter I just sent to my AH. We have not talked for days and it is the only way I feel I can communicate with him without our butting our heads against a brick wall trying to communicate this orally. Our marriage has been based on lies and deception from the beginning of it almost 4 years ago, and I a...	Wilted	5	630	Jun 3, 2008 by ESH
	Please send positive thoughts June 3rd (Preview) Family- I need your best wishes, thoughts and prayers for a job interview the afternoon of June 3rd. I very much want this job! But I know that if I do not get it, there is a better one coming!! Thank you for your love and support- Hugs, J.	Jean4444	11	783	Jun 3, 2008 by ESH
	I want to go to Alanon Meeting but why am I scared to go? (Preview) There is a fairly new AA/Alanon right across the street from me & I want to go but I'm so scared to go. I know once I go to that first meeting that I won't be so afraid. I need to do something because I'm at my wits end! My brother is an alcoholic, my son is an alcoholic & my daughter is a drug addict &...	mysticperl	9	1092	Jun 3, 2008 by DD
	the tiny tomato plant (Preview) I have been helping some friends put in a garden recently- vegetables. we put in these itsy bitsy teeny weeny tomato plants and then put these HUGE metal cages around them for climbing on and holding them up when they get big and start producing. I thought this was such a good picture of recovery. I fee...	Jean4444	4	572	Jun 3, 2008 by Jerry F
	New and need support (Preview) I have been trying to deal with my sisters crack addiction for about the last 4 years. Over the years she has been arrested, gone to jail, faced prison time, lost her home, her car, her friends, etc..... In the begining we all tried to help her, bailing her out, enabling her behavior. Knowing we were not h...	Alaina	8	596	Jun 3, 2008 by Jerry F
	i am not sure what to do anymore..... (Preview) i am just not sure where to turn or what to do anymore, In July of 2003 i left a very abusive alcoholic relationship with my husband, and i was looking for another relationship when along comes my high school sweetheart, he was recently separated and going through much of what i was going through at the ti...	tsc2094	4	480	Jun 3, 2008 by Karilynn
	Yves Saint Laurant quote (he just passed away) (Preview) As he retired, he said: "I have known fear and the terrors of solitude. I have known those fair-weather friends we call tranquilizers and drugs. I have known the prison of depression and the confinement of hospital. But one day, I was able to come through all of that, dazzled yet sober."	Jean4444	3	417	Jun 3, 2008 by Karilynn
	New here today (Preview) Hi All I am new on this site today, looking for some advice really. I split from my husband 18mth ago because of his drinking, I could no longer hide it from my daughter 9 years old at time. Since then he has carried on drinking, letting my daughter down forgetting what day he said he will see her, he has been...	Amh2amd	12	571	Jun 2, 2008 by maresie
	Not being overreactive (Preview) I spent my entire life being over reactive. I was at my worst with the A in total overkill all the time. I was like a hair trigger gong off the deep end at any moment. I would call him at least 20 times a day. Talk about giving my power over to him. I'd call and rant and at him or beg him to come home. Of course I...	maresie	4	514	Jun 2, 2008 by maresie
	My First F2F Al-Anon Meeting Today... (Preview) I wanted to say thanks to everyone for encouraging me to go to a face to face Al-Anon meeting. I went this morning. They said I should try to attend 6 meetings in 6 days. I'm not sure where to find one tomorrow, but the place I chose has them every week night, as well as on Saturday. Also, I was told by many...	hush	5	536	Jun 2, 2008 by canadianguy
	How does one rewire his or hers entire history? (Preview) I grew up in an environment where talking about sad things or painful feelings was not encouraged. Often I had to suppress my feelings. I was told and taught not to pay attention to situations in my life, which were painful. Often times I felt empty inside. I dont like to play the victim; but for the fir...	HaloGirl	9	764	Jun 2, 2008 by maresie
	My "adopted mom" Connie (Preview) (((((Friends)))))), Tom's post touched my heart and as many of you know, I lost my "adopted mom" last week and did her eulogy. At the end of the service, so many relatives and friends told me that my words captured the true essence of her. One even shared that though he did not know her prior...	Maria123	10	1170	Jun 2, 2008 by carosie
	Having the urge to shake it up (Preview) I am starting to get itchy feet again, I am having thoughts of moving to where I don't know for sure (Diva???). I have been irritated with changes at my job that make it more difficult, I am frustrated with working two jobs and most of all I am FED UP with the schools here. I have accumulated too much stuff...	carolinagirl	9	725	Jun 2, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Crazy dream! Thank you HP there is a meeting tomorrow night!! (Preview) I had some really good stuff happen this weekend that I may put in another post but I need to vent about a crazy dream first please. Quick background: All weekend A/ BF seemed in a "daze". Most weekends he will at least make some small attempt to connect a little (NEVER deep but he will at le...	glad	1	576	Jun 2, 2008 by nmike
	Newbie to all of this....need help (Preview) Ok.......recap.....allowed 58 yr old brother to move in with us.....apparently a binge type drinker......lost his "new" job due to drinking episodes 3 weeks ago.... I 've been to 3 f2f mtgs.....just haven't been able to get back in over a week (kiddos are now out of school for summer and...	Jorbax	7	648	Jun 2, 2008 by nmike
	Ups and Downs (Preview) Hi All, I've been coming here every day and reading everything. It is a great help and I thank you all. I am trying hard to do things again. We went to the movies. We are seeing friends again. I get distressed when I am having a good time, and then my A Son flashes through my head and I start wondering where he i...	laurab	5	423	Jun 1, 2008 by DebbiP
	I am trying to change!! (Preview) I am really trying to be positive and working on "recovery". I am trying to be assertiv e in a loving way. My oldest son (35) more or less accused me of their marriage problems. My Ex AH always mentally abused me. Now I find my son is doing the exact same thing. This I will not except. I tried whe...	meagain	3	533	Jun 1, 2008 by Peggy7
	My First F2F Al-Anon Meeting Today... (Preview) I wanted to say thanks to everyone for encouraging me to go to a face to face Al-Anon meeting. I went this morning. They said I should try to attend 6 meetings in 6 days. I'm not sure where to find one tomorrow, but the place I chose has them every week night, as well as on Saturday. Also, I was told by many...	hush	1	407	Jun 1, 2008 by Peggy7
	Melody B is the best... (Preview) Willpower is not the key to the way of life we are seeking. Surrender is. "I have spent much of my life trying to make people be, do, or feel something they aren't, don't want to do, and choose not to feel. I have made them, and myself, crazy in that process," said one recovering woman. I spe...	Jean4444	7	659	Jun 1, 2008 by kitty
	Good to be back online (Preview) We had severe weather move through on Memorial Day, and before I could get my surge protector unplugged, the lightning struck. Casey's General Store behind me went dark as did my house. It sounded like the earth split in two and I felt a tingling into my fingertips. It actually blew one of my breakers. M...	Tenderheartsks	2	533	May 31, 2008 by Jerry F
	Oh the Ruby Blue!! (Preview) Aloha All!! Took a day to get the time zone, jet lag, blues out of the way and make a report. Ruby Blue (middle name Azulema) is exactly like what a month old doll should be especially when perfectly dressed up by loving Mom and Dad. I had to smile checking out how they are reacting as "new" pare...	Jerry F	13	1200	May 31, 2008 by nmike
	Rehab center information .. Please (Preview) Some time ago in a meeting a lady metioned her son had been helped (then relapsed) by a free treatment center in Louisiana. But she did say it helped him I have not yet seen her again to ask the name of the program. Does anyone know of this or any free or low cost treatment centers. and by the way feed back o...	glad	6	466	May 31, 2008 by Mobirdie
	woman like me commits suicide (Preview) It is so sad and screwed up. she was, maybe 10 years older than me. Her husband had a degenerative disability, and she became his caregiver. They had 3 children, and not alot of money. Her husband was one of the few people in this small town that made freinds with my husband. When my husband started drinki...	RainyJamie	13	822	May 31, 2008 by junehouse
	Whose family is it? (Preview) The recent threads on suicide have reminded me of a learning and awareness that I went through about four years ago.... I had met a friend, in one of my ex's Rehabs - his name was Garry, and he was the most unlikely of all friends for me at the time..... He was a lifelong addict/alcoholic, built like a bodyb...	canadianguy	13	1224	May 31, 2008 by Karilynn
	Al-Anon birthday meeting (Preview) I attended an Al-Anon birthday meeting last night. It was the first Al-Anon birthday meeting I've been to, and actually, it was really very small because at least on this side of the island, the region really hasn't set up any official regular birthday meetings for members like AA does. So, my spons...	Aloha	2	4216	May 30, 2008 by Jerry F
	Why Does it Have to Hurt so Much? (Preview) I wanted to start a new post because I don't want to interrupt someone else's. I hope I get some response, as I'm new to this. I fell in love with an A and I'm struggling. It was his alcoholic grandfather he looked up to, and his own father who was strictly religious and non-alcoholic but very abusive. H...	hush	9	722	May 30, 2008 by hush
	Fell in love with an adult child (Preview) So, I've been dating this girl for about a year. She's an adult child of an alcoholic. I love her and she's been there for me through a lot of tough things, and when we're good together we're really good. But our fights get so bad, it scares me. She has a severe fear of abandonment due to being raised in an alc...	keithw	19	1711	May 30, 2008 by junehouse
	choices (Preview) Tomorrow is going to be one of those days when my inner child just wants to hide under the covers. The kind of day that brings out fear. In the morning I have a meeting with my attorney, who is representing me in a custody case. Who I might add, intimidates me to no end, because she is very direct, matter of...	seekingserenity	7	601	May 30, 2008 by Maria123
	freaking out on positive energy (miraculous) (Preview) I am not quite sure what is happening other than multiple miracles - biggies - in the last 24 or so hours. My b/f bff (known him just a year, he's not in any 12 steps, not an A) anyway... has been talking to, planting seeds w/ my mother... yesterday after 30 years (I'm 40) of being a literal "parrot...	kitty	3	586	May 30, 2008 by leo
	It's good to be back. (Preview) It has taken me nearly a month to recover from the drama I caught myself up in last month during the AA/Al-Anon convention. I became overwhelmed and then gravitated to old habits of wondering what my AH's next moves were going to be... when AH became irritable, I didn't know how to respond and berated my...	Aloha	3	652	May 30, 2008 by Denoraphy
	Do you have reasonable expectations of yourself? (Preview) I have found lately that I am trying to do more than my body or mind can handle. And when I do not accomplish the tasks at hand I feel as if I have failed. When I analyze this , it takes me back to when I lived with my alcoholic, and all my failed attempts to make him sober, thus making me feel inadequate or a com...	gardengal	6	692	May 30, 2008 by Jerry F
	Haven't been on in awhile! (Preview) Hey everyone! I haven't been able to post for some time. I can't remember the last time I did actually! I am doing OK. I have been obsessing over somethings but see how I can change that--get out of my head and do something to help me! I also need to keep in touch with my trusted friends in the program. I ha...	Hoot Nanny	2	512	May 30, 2008 by Jerry F
	Reminding myself...everything depends on my integrity... (Preview) Well, as I continue with this programme, I realise that I have to keep on reminding myself that the steps are there for a purpose and if I take one step at a time in order I will reach the top of the ladder. So, I am now looking at Step 6, and to quote Courage to Change, I realise that it again sets out in simple te...	Suzannah	5	579	May 30, 2008 by kitty
	I'm Going, going...gone (Preview) It is with a heavy heart that I have made the decision to leave my AH. We have been thru so much stuff together, it is unreal. I can't even begin to remember all of it. How we started out so happy, then the drinking got worse, then the silent treatments started, then the yelling started. Then the threats...	Becky1	9	514	May 29, 2008 by kitty
	Why Does it Have to Hurt so Much? (Preview) I wanted to start a new post because I don't want to interrupt someone else's. I hope I get some response, as I'm new to this. I fell in love with an A and I'm struggling. It was his alcoholic grandfather he looked up to, and his own father who was strictly religious and non-alcoholic but very abusive. H...	hush	4	567	May 29, 2008 by hush
	I Wish I Could Have Handled Things Better (Preview) I had the happy opportunity of being reunited with my childhood sweetheart of thirty years ago last year in the summer. It was the happiest I had ever been. He was married 29 years and unhappy, but not yet divorced. This made me feel insecure and vunerable. I also found myself reacting to his mood swings...	Passion84ever	5	1207	May 29, 2008 by Passion84ever
	too far gone, hopeless pt 2 (Preview) Dear Everybody, When I made that post the other day... it was not to say I was leaving MIP, I would never do that, finding al-anon on-line has been a life saver for me. I really, truly thought I was going to 'end it all.' I made my preparations and carried out about half of my plans. Somehow hp got to me v...	kitty	8	761	May 29, 2008 by Karilynn
	Martin Sheen article (Preview) ((((((Family))))), I came across this article on Martin Sheen and how he dealt with his son Charlie's addiction. Go to the aarp website: www.aarpmagazine.org and click on the article. It talks about his own addiction, Alanon and AA. I've always loved Martin Sheen (I secretly harbor a thing for h...	Karilynn	4	550	May 28, 2008 by ddub
	Should I just move on? (Preview) I've never posted something before and not sure how this goes - so I'm just going to write my thoughts and see if there's any feedback or thoughts from anybody... Two years ago I met "Adam", 9 months ago I finally "figured out" he is an alcoholic - he had hidden it and disguised his b...	Beajour	7	605	May 28, 2008 by Jean4444
	Seeing others in pain... (Preview) The (young) new husband of a little girl (20) I care about as family hurt her, by "going on a blind date" messing around online etc. basicly like he missed the fact that he got married?? Anyway this is a kid who fooled all of us with all this talk of marriage and being excited about building a f...	glad	3	511	May 28, 2008 by kitty
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.