Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I have been helping some friends put in a garden recently- vegetables. we put in these itsy bitsy teeny weeny tomato plants and then put these HUGE metal cages around them for climbing on and holding them up when they get big and start producing. I thought this was such a good picture of recovery. I fee...

Alaina · Alaina

I have been trying to deal with my sisters crack addiction for about the last 4 years. Over the years she has been arrested, gone to jail, faced prison time, lost her home, her car, her friends, etc..... In the begining we all tried to help her, bailing her out, enabling her behavior. Knowing we were not h...

tsc2094 · tsc2094

i am just not sure where to turn or what to do anymore, In July of 2003 i left a very abusive alcoholic relationship with my husband, and i was looking for another relationship when along comes my high school sweetheart, he was recently separated and going through much of what i was going through at the ti...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

As he retired, he said: "I have known fear and the terrors of solitude. I have known those fair-weather friends we call tranquilizers and drugs. I have known the prison of depression and the confinement of hospital. But one day, I was able to come through all of that, dazzled yet sober."

Amh2amd · Amh2amd

Hi All I am new on this site today, looking for some advice really. I split from my husband 18mth ago because of his drinking, I could no longer hide it from my daughter 9 years old at time. Since then he has carried on drinking, letting my daughter down forgetting what day he said he will see her, he has been...

maresie · maresie

I spent my entire life being over reactive. I was at my worst with the A in total overkill all the time. I was like a hair trigger gong off the deep end at any moment. I would call him at least 20 times a day. Talk about giving my power over to him. I'd call and rant and at him or beg him to come home. Of course I...

hush · hush

I wanted to say thanks to everyone for encouraging me to go to a face to face Al-Anon meeting. I went this morning. They said I should try to attend 6 meetings in 6 days. I'm not sure where to find one tomorrow, but the place I chose has them every week night, as well as on Saturday. Also, I was told by many...

HaloGirl · HaloGirl

I grew up in an environment where talking about sad things or painful feelings was not encouraged. Often I had to suppress my feelings. I was told and taught not to pay attention to situations in my life, which were painful. Often times I felt empty inside. I dont like to play the victim; but for the fir...

Maria123 · Maria123

(((((Friends)))))), Tom's post touched my heart and as many of you know, I lost my "adopted mom" last week and did her eulogy. At the end of the service, so many relatives and friends told me that my words captured the true essence of her. One even shared that though he did not know her prior...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I am starting to get itchy feet again, I am having thoughts of moving to where I don't know for sure (Diva???). I have been irritated with changes at my job that make it more difficult, I am frustrated with working two jobs and most of all I am FED UP with the schools here. I have accumulated too much stuff...

glad · glad

I had some really good stuff happen this weekend that I may put in another post but I need to vent about a crazy dream first please. Quick background: All weekend A/ BF seemed in a "daze". Most weekends he will at least make some small attempt to connect a little (NEVER deep but he will at le...

Jorbax · Jorbax

Ok.......recap.....allowed 58 yr old brother to move in with us.....apparently a binge type drinker......lost his "new" job due to drinking episodes 3 weeks ago.... I 've been to 3 f2f mtgs.....just haven't been able to get back in over a week (kiddos are now out of school for summer and...

laurab · laurab

Hi All, I've been coming here every day and reading everything. It is a great help and I thank you all. I am trying hard to do things again. We went to the movies. We are seeing friends again. I get distressed when I am having a good time, and then my A Son flashes through my head and I start wondering where he i...

meagain · meagain

I am really trying to be positive and working on "recovery". I am trying to be assertiv e in a loving way. My oldest son (35) more or less accused me of their marriage problems. My Ex AH always mentally abused me. Now I find my son is doing the exact same thing. This I will not except. I tried whe...

hush · hush

I wanted to say thanks to everyone for encouraging me to go to a face to face Al-Anon meeting. I went this morning. They said I should try to attend 6 meetings in 6 days. I'm not sure where to find one tomorrow, but the place I chose has them every week night, as well as on Saturday. Also, I was told by many...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Willpower is not the key to the way of life we are seeking. Surrender is. "I have spent much of my life trying to make people be, do, or feel something they aren't, don't want to do, and choose not to feel. I have made them, and myself, crazy in that process," said one recovering woman. I spe...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

We had severe weather move through on Memorial Day, and before I could get my surge protector unplugged, the lightning struck. Casey's General Store behind me went dark as did my house. It sounded like the earth split in two and I felt a tingling into my fingertips. It actually blew one of my breakers. M...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha All!! Took a day to get the time zone, jet lag, blues out of the way and make a report. Ruby Blue (middle name Azulema) is exactly like what a month old doll should be especially when perfectly dressed up by loving Mom and Dad. I had to smile checking out how they are reacting as "new" pare...

glad · glad

Some time ago in a meeting a lady metioned her son had been helped (then relapsed) by a free treatment center in Louisiana. But she did say it helped him I have not yet seen her again to ask the name of the program. Does anyone know of this or any free or low cost treatment centers. and by the way feed back o...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

It is so sad and screwed up. she was, maybe 10 years older than me. Her husband had a degenerative disability, and she became his caregiver. They had 3 children, and not alot of money. Her husband was one of the few people in this small town that made freinds with my husband. When my husband started drinki...

canadianguy · canadianguy

The recent threads on suicide have reminded me of a learning and awareness that I went through about four years ago.... I had met a friend, in one of my ex's Rehabs - his name was Garry, and he was the most unlikely of all friends for me at the time..... He was a lifelong addict/alcoholic, built like a bodyb...

Aloha · Aloha

I attended an Al-Anon birthday meeting last night. It was the first Al-Anon birthday meeting I've been to, and actually, it was really very small because at least on this side of the island, the region really hasn't set up any official regular birthday meetings for members like AA does. So, my spons...

hush · hush

I wanted to start a new post because I don't want to interrupt someone else's. I hope I get some response, as I'm new to this. I fell in love with an A and I'm struggling. It was his alcoholic grandfather he looked up to, and his own father who was strictly religious and non-alcoholic but very abusive. H...

keithw · keithw

So, I've been dating this girl for about a year. She's an adult child of an alcoholic. I love her and she's been there for me through a lot of tough things, and when we're good together we're really good. But our fights get so bad, it scares me. She has a severe fear of abandonment due to being raised in an alc...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

Tomorrow is going to be one of those days when my inner child just wants to hide under the covers. The kind of day that brings out fear. In the morning I have a meeting with my attorney, who is representing me in a custody case. Who I might add, intimidates me to no end, because she is very direct, matter of...

kitty · kitty

I am not quite sure what is happening other than multiple miracles - biggies - in the last 24 or so hours. My b/f bff (known him just a year, he's not in any 12 steps, not an A) anyway... has been talking to, planting seeds w/ my mother... yesterday after 30 years (I'm 40) of being a literal "parrot...

Aloha · Aloha

It has taken me nearly a month to recover from the drama I caught myself up in last month during the AA/Al-Anon convention. I became overwhelmed and then gravitated to old habits of wondering what my AH's next moves were going to be... when AH became irritable, I didn't know how to respond and berated my...

gardengal · gardengal

I have found lately that I am trying to do more than my body or mind can handle. And when I do not accomplish the tasks at hand I feel as if I have failed. When I analyze this , it takes me back to when I lived with my alcoholic, and all my failed attempts to make him sober, thus making me feel inadequate or a com...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Hey everyone! I haven't been able to post for some time. I can't remember the last time I did actually! I am doing OK. I have been obsessing over somethings but see how I can change that--get out of my head and do something to help me! I also need to keep in touch with my trusted friends in the program. I ha...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Well, as I continue with this programme, I realise that I have to keep on reminding myself that the steps are there for a purpose and if I take one step at a time in order I will reach the top of the ladder. So, I am now looking at Step 6, and to quote Courage to Change, I realise that it again sets out in simple te...

Becky1 · Becky1

It is with a heavy heart that I have made the decision to leave my AH. We have been thru so much stuff together, it is unreal. I can't even begin to remember all of it. How we started out so happy, then the drinking got worse, then the silent treatments started, then the yelling started. Then the threats...

hush · hush

I wanted to start a new post because I don't want to interrupt someone else's. I hope I get some response, as I'm new to this. I fell in love with an A and I'm struggling. It was his alcoholic grandfather he looked up to, and his own father who was strictly religious and non-alcoholic but very abusive. H...

Passion84ever · Passion84ever

I had the happy opportunity of being reunited with my childhood sweetheart of thirty years ago last year in the summer. It was the happiest I had ever been. He was married 29 years and unhappy, but not yet divorced. This made me feel insecure and vunerable. I also found myself reacting to his mood swings...

kitty · kitty

Dear Everybody, When I made that post the other day... it was not to say I was leaving MIP, I would never do that, finding al-anon on-line has been a life saver for me. I really, truly thought I was going to 'end it all.' I made my preparations and carried out about half of my plans. Somehow hp got to me v...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((Family))))), I came across this article on Martin Sheen and how he dealt with his son Charlie's addiction. Go to the aarp website: www.aarpmagazine.org and click on the article. It talks about his own addiction, Alanon and AA. I've always loved Martin Sheen (I secretly harbor a thing for h...

Beajour · Beajour

I've never posted something before and not sure how this goes - so I'm just going to write my thoughts and see if there's any feedback or thoughts from anybody... Two years ago I met "Adam", 9 months ago I finally "figured out" he is an alcoholic - he had hidden it and disguised his b...

glad · glad

The (young) new husband of a little girl (20) I care about as family hurt her, by "going on a blind date" messing around online etc. basicly like he missed the fact that he got married?? Anyway this is a kid who fooled all of us with all this talk of marriage and being excited about building a f...

Aloha · Aloha

I had to chuckle the moment I opened ODAT tonight. I usually read it in the morning, but didn't this morning - got busy being a "human doing" today instead of a "human being". I've been feeding myself self-pity nonsense this evening after I found life wasn't going to go the way I...

Wilted · Wilted

It's been a long time since I've been on here but I feel so desperate right now and I need to vent. Almost 4 years ago I left my home and family and moved four states away to marry a man who I met on a Christian website. We communicated for over two years by email, phone calls, and spent about a month together...

meagain · meagain

I can't remember when the last time it was I was on this board-but anyway I am trying to change my attitude on life! I have started going to a counsellor. I am trying to learn a new way of dealing with my adult sons. On Mothers day my oldest son--more or less blamed me for his whole marriage breakdown. the w...

debilyn · debilyn

but I want other parents to know they are not the only ones. my son has been very absent. I kept some communication. I asked him to come that mothers day sunday,said well call me and let me know. My daughter and grandson were coming. he never called,nothing. I ended up in too much pain to see my daughter. b...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I have been spending some time around people who are happy, content with themselves and their friends and family, have a sense of humor, are not all freaked out and weird all the time. Are predictable and calm and make good decisions. Its quite interesting. I have been seeing this guy (well, now it...

ddub · ddub

I've been reading and feel somewhat validated finding that feeling treasured or valuable is a basic human need. I didn't know that but I sure felt it without knowing how to put it into words. I can see how I became obsessive about caring for others or working too hard or using humor to deflect stress....

lam0204 · lam0204

so I haven't posted anything in so long but sometimes if feels good to vent to people who understand. i have an ex husband and when i left him i was absolutley in love with him BUT i also had two little girls that didn't need to be in a house with an alcoholic. so i commend myself for leaving for them and for my...

maresie · maresie

Tonight I say goodbye to the intern who has been treating me for the past 10 weeks. The 10 weeks flew by. I saw a therapist intern last year who helped me so much when I was leaving the A. Then I had no time or space to see her and that was difficult. I do not do well with goodbyes. I am hoping to get a referral ot...

tma0413 · tma0413

Well I dropped AH off at the correctional facility last night so that he could begin serving his 10 day sentence. I felt sooo sick to my stomach as the big jail doors slammed behind him. I kept it together pretty good, didn't cry till I got to the truck then I prayed to my HP to help me & give me strength...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I find myself always questioning my responses to my AH. Rarely do I know if I do it "right". Thus, I find the need to bounce it off here, thinking each episode is a learning experience. We are getting a significant tax return. First time ever and a true blessing. My AH decided he would keep the...

Aloha · Aloha

I had an instance with my mother come up earlier this week that I've been kind of putting on the back burner... something I've been kind of wondering about and that sort of thing. Maybe three weeks ago, when talking with my parents over the phone, my mom mentioned that she'd like to fly out to see me and m...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Life has been crazy busy, and I miss being able to read down through the threads over here, but I do try and read a few during the week. I'm waiting to hear back on my application for grants for college, and whatever isn't covered will be paid by Vocational Rehabilitation, so no more college loans to pay of...

Diva · Diva

A went on a binge Thursday morning, walked out of the house, and did not come back. I have gotten to the point that I do not worry; know I should. But he'll be home in a couple of days, repentent, sorry, embarrassed, ashamed, "I'll never drink again." You know the drill. Well....yesterday mor...

norwood · norwood

I was wondering about that term and found the following in a search; Let there be peace on earth And let it begin with me. It serves as a good reminder when I find myself in a situation where I would tend to react with anger, or judgment, or criticism. Rather than react with anger, I silently sing to myself,...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I decided that an update was due. I have not been here much as I have been in transition from Hawaii and grad school to back on the mainland, back in the Midwest and back near my AH. Its been a tough transition and the end is not in sight but things are going very well overall. I did decide to get a divorce aft...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear all, I have started to build up a social life again and go out a couple of time of week. I had slowly stared a friendship with a woman from the village who I would meet regularly. Last night she texted me to say she was out, she was supposed to be at a concert and I would meet her later. I went up earlier than...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was on the old nobody new singles site last night and saw a cute new guy and sent him a message and we ended up talking and it looks like we are going to meet tonight. He just moved here from Mississippi. Sooo we'll see what happens, it sure would be nice to have someone of the manly persuasion to hang out...

ddub · ddub

not so happy, down on myself, lonely and how do you love yourself, ..... I feel like a broken record. Progress, then I feel like I am back to square one over and over. Don't even know I am back sliding until I'm back in crazy land & feeling like the odd man out, critical of me & others and negative....

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family)))))))), Let us take a few minutes between the picnics, the games, and the fun times to remember what this day is really all about. This is not a political post. Hubby was a Navy Seal. This is a post about rememberance. To all who have served, are serving, and will serve in our armed for...

Suzannah · Suzannah

I am awaiting to go for further surgery on my back after this coming weekend. Each time I hope it will be the last time. Each time, it has proved not to be the case SO FAR. However, I realise that, physical health goes hand in hand with mental health. WOW, did I mention the dreaded word MENTAL health? Jus...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Many of you will know that I have had trouble saying NO, let alone saying it as a complete sentence. I am practicing more each day and realise that by saying NO - as a complete sentence - I do not have to justify, explain, struggle with the 'reconsider this...' or ' well have to you thought ...'. I answer qui...

JeannineM · JeannineM

Okay, So I havent posted in a couple days and I am fairley new here.I have been leaning on this site for support and venting and it was working for alittle bit but I have slipped up big time and now I feel like there is absolutley no hope for my AH. I know this but why am i letting this happen? Why did I do this a...

Unsure · Unsure

I am slowly losing my ability to trust, not just in mankind, but in faith also. Nothing has gone right for anyone in my family for several months. My son can't find a job, is living out of town, and losing everything he has. A step- son is living with his grandparents and slowly losing touch with real...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	the tiny tomato plant (Preview) I have been helping some friends put in a garden recently- vegetables. we put in these itsy bitsy teeny weeny tomato plants and then put these HUGE metal cages around them for climbing on and holding them up when they get big and start producing. I thought this was such a good picture of recovery. I fee...	Jean4444	4	518	Jun 3, 2008 by Jerry F
	New and need support (Preview) I have been trying to deal with my sisters crack addiction for about the last 4 years. Over the years she has been arrested, gone to jail, faced prison time, lost her home, her car, her friends, etc..... In the begining we all tried to help her, bailing her out, enabling her behavior. Knowing we were not h...	Alaina	8	545	Jun 3, 2008 by Jerry F
	i am not sure what to do anymore..... (Preview) i am just not sure where to turn or what to do anymore, In July of 2003 i left a very abusive alcoholic relationship with my husband, and i was looking for another relationship when along comes my high school sweetheart, he was recently separated and going through much of what i was going through at the ti...	tsc2094	4	427	Jun 3, 2008 by Karilynn
	Yves Saint Laurant quote (he just passed away) (Preview) As he retired, he said: "I have known fear and the terrors of solitude. I have known those fair-weather friends we call tranquilizers and drugs. I have known the prison of depression and the confinement of hospital. But one day, I was able to come through all of that, dazzled yet sober."	Jean4444	3	368	Jun 3, 2008 by Karilynn
	New here today (Preview) Hi All I am new on this site today, looking for some advice really. I split from my husband 18mth ago because of his drinking, I could no longer hide it from my daughter 9 years old at time. Since then he has carried on drinking, letting my daughter down forgetting what day he said he will see her, he has been...	Amh2amd	12	510	Jun 2, 2008 by maresie
	Not being overreactive (Preview) I spent my entire life being over reactive. I was at my worst with the A in total overkill all the time. I was like a hair trigger gong off the deep end at any moment. I would call him at least 20 times a day. Talk about giving my power over to him. I'd call and rant and at him or beg him to come home. Of course I...	maresie	4	456	Jun 2, 2008 by maresie
	My First F2F Al-Anon Meeting Today... (Preview) I wanted to say thanks to everyone for encouraging me to go to a face to face Al-Anon meeting. I went this morning. They said I should try to attend 6 meetings in 6 days. I'm not sure where to find one tomorrow, but the place I chose has them every week night, as well as on Saturday. Also, I was told by many...	hush	5	482	Jun 2, 2008 by canadianguy
	How does one rewire his or hers entire history? (Preview) I grew up in an environment where talking about sad things or painful feelings was not encouraged. Often I had to suppress my feelings. I was told and taught not to pay attention to situations in my life, which were painful. Often times I felt empty inside. I dont like to play the victim; but for the fir...	HaloGirl	9	701	Jun 2, 2008 by maresie
	My "adopted mom" Connie (Preview) (((((Friends)))))), Tom's post touched my heart and as many of you know, I lost my "adopted mom" last week and did her eulogy. At the end of the service, so many relatives and friends told me that my words captured the true essence of her. One even shared that though he did not know her prior...	Maria123	10	1112	Jun 2, 2008 by carosie
	Having the urge to shake it up (Preview) I am starting to get itchy feet again, I am having thoughts of moving to where I don't know for sure (Diva???). I have been irritated with changes at my job that make it more difficult, I am frustrated with working two jobs and most of all I am FED UP with the schools here. I have accumulated too much stuff...	carolinagirl	9	673	Jun 2, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Crazy dream! Thank you HP there is a meeting tomorrow night!! (Preview) I had some really good stuff happen this weekend that I may put in another post but I need to vent about a crazy dream first please. Quick background: All weekend A/ BF seemed in a "daze". Most weekends he will at least make some small attempt to connect a little (NEVER deep but he will at le...	glad	1	523	Jun 2, 2008 by nmike
	Newbie to all of this....need help (Preview) Ok.......recap.....allowed 58 yr old brother to move in with us.....apparently a binge type drinker......lost his "new" job due to drinking episodes 3 weeks ago.... I 've been to 3 f2f mtgs.....just haven't been able to get back in over a week (kiddos are now out of school for summer and...	Jorbax	7	594	Jun 2, 2008 by nmike
	Ups and Downs (Preview) Hi All, I've been coming here every day and reading everything. It is a great help and I thank you all. I am trying hard to do things again. We went to the movies. We are seeing friends again. I get distressed when I am having a good time, and then my A Son flashes through my head and I start wondering where he i...	laurab	5	368	Jun 1, 2008 by DebbiP
	I am trying to change!! (Preview) I am really trying to be positive and working on "recovery". I am trying to be assertiv e in a loving way. My oldest son (35) more or less accused me of their marriage problems. My Ex AH always mentally abused me. Now I find my son is doing the exact same thing. This I will not except. I tried whe...	meagain	3	482	Jun 1, 2008 by Peggy7
	My First F2F Al-Anon Meeting Today... (Preview) I wanted to say thanks to everyone for encouraging me to go to a face to face Al-Anon meeting. I went this morning. They said I should try to attend 6 meetings in 6 days. I'm not sure where to find one tomorrow, but the place I chose has them every week night, as well as on Saturday. Also, I was told by many...	hush	1	351	Jun 1, 2008 by Peggy7
	Melody B is the best... (Preview) Willpower is not the key to the way of life we are seeking. Surrender is. "I have spent much of my life trying to make people be, do, or feel something they aren't, don't want to do, and choose not to feel. I have made them, and myself, crazy in that process," said one recovering woman. I spe...	Jean4444	7	605	Jun 1, 2008 by kitty
	Good to be back online (Preview) We had severe weather move through on Memorial Day, and before I could get my surge protector unplugged, the lightning struck. Casey's General Store behind me went dark as did my house. It sounded like the earth split in two and I felt a tingling into my fingertips. It actually blew one of my breakers. M...	Tenderheartsks	2	483	May 31, 2008 by Jerry F
	Oh the Ruby Blue!! (Preview) Aloha All!! Took a day to get the time zone, jet lag, blues out of the way and make a report. Ruby Blue (middle name Azulema) is exactly like what a month old doll should be especially when perfectly dressed up by loving Mom and Dad. I had to smile checking out how they are reacting as "new" pare...	Jerry F	13	1146	May 31, 2008 by nmike
	Rehab center information .. Please (Preview) Some time ago in a meeting a lady metioned her son had been helped (then relapsed) by a free treatment center in Louisiana. But she did say it helped him I have not yet seen her again to ask the name of the program. Does anyone know of this or any free or low cost treatment centers. and by the way feed back o...	glad	6	415	May 31, 2008 by Mobirdie
	woman like me commits suicide (Preview) It is so sad and screwed up. she was, maybe 10 years older than me. Her husband had a degenerative disability, and she became his caregiver. They had 3 children, and not alot of money. Her husband was one of the few people in this small town that made freinds with my husband. When my husband started drinki...	RainyJamie	13	719	May 31, 2008 by junehouse
	Whose family is it? (Preview) The recent threads on suicide have reminded me of a learning and awareness that I went through about four years ago.... I had met a friend, in one of my ex's Rehabs - his name was Garry, and he was the most unlikely of all friends for me at the time..... He was a lifelong addict/alcoholic, built like a bodyb...	canadianguy	13	1154	May 31, 2008 by Karilynn
	Al-Anon birthday meeting (Preview) I attended an Al-Anon birthday meeting last night. It was the first Al-Anon birthday meeting I've been to, and actually, it was really very small because at least on this side of the island, the region really hasn't set up any official regular birthday meetings for members like AA does. So, my spons...	Aloha	2	3904	May 30, 2008 by Jerry F
	Why Does it Have to Hurt so Much? (Preview) I wanted to start a new post because I don't want to interrupt someone else's. I hope I get some response, as I'm new to this. I fell in love with an A and I'm struggling. It was his alcoholic grandfather he looked up to, and his own father who was strictly religious and non-alcoholic but very abusive. H...	hush	9	666	May 30, 2008 by hush
	Fell in love with an adult child (Preview) So, I've been dating this girl for about a year. She's an adult child of an alcoholic. I love her and she's been there for me through a lot of tough things, and when we're good together we're really good. But our fights get so bad, it scares me. She has a severe fear of abandonment due to being raised in an alc...	keithw	19	1629	May 30, 2008 by junehouse
	choices (Preview) Tomorrow is going to be one of those days when my inner child just wants to hide under the covers. The kind of day that brings out fear. In the morning I have a meeting with my attorney, who is representing me in a custody case. Who I might add, intimidates me to no end, because she is very direct, matter of...	seekingserenity	7	539	May 30, 2008 by Maria123
	freaking out on positive energy (miraculous) (Preview) I am not quite sure what is happening other than multiple miracles - biggies - in the last 24 or so hours. My b/f bff (known him just a year, he's not in any 12 steps, not an A) anyway... has been talking to, planting seeds w/ my mother... yesterday after 30 years (I'm 40) of being a literal "parrot...	kitty	3	534	May 30, 2008 by leo
	It's good to be back. (Preview) It has taken me nearly a month to recover from the drama I caught myself up in last month during the AA/Al-Anon convention. I became overwhelmed and then gravitated to old habits of wondering what my AH's next moves were going to be... when AH became irritable, I didn't know how to respond and berated my...	Aloha	3	601	May 30, 2008 by Denoraphy
	Do you have reasonable expectations of yourself? (Preview) I have found lately that I am trying to do more than my body or mind can handle. And when I do not accomplish the tasks at hand I feel as if I have failed. When I analyze this , it takes me back to when I lived with my alcoholic, and all my failed attempts to make him sober, thus making me feel inadequate or a com...	gardengal	6	640	May 30, 2008 by Jerry F
	Haven't been on in awhile! (Preview) Hey everyone! I haven't been able to post for some time. I can't remember the last time I did actually! I am doing OK. I have been obsessing over somethings but see how I can change that--get out of my head and do something to help me! I also need to keep in touch with my trusted friends in the program. I ha...	Hoot Nanny	2	463	May 30, 2008 by Jerry F
	Reminding myself...everything depends on my integrity... (Preview) Well, as I continue with this programme, I realise that I have to keep on reminding myself that the steps are there for a purpose and if I take one step at a time in order I will reach the top of the ladder. So, I am now looking at Step 6, and to quote Courage to Change, I realise that it again sets out in simple te...	Suzannah	5	531	May 30, 2008 by kitty
	I'm Going, going...gone (Preview) It is with a heavy heart that I have made the decision to leave my AH. We have been thru so much stuff together, it is unreal. I can't even begin to remember all of it. How we started out so happy, then the drinking got worse, then the silent treatments started, then the yelling started. Then the threats...	Becky1	9	458	May 29, 2008 by kitty
	Why Does it Have to Hurt so Much? (Preview) I wanted to start a new post because I don't want to interrupt someone else's. I hope I get some response, as I'm new to this. I fell in love with an A and I'm struggling. It was his alcoholic grandfather he looked up to, and his own father who was strictly religious and non-alcoholic but very abusive. H...	hush	4	509	May 29, 2008 by hush
	I Wish I Could Have Handled Things Better (Preview) I had the happy opportunity of being reunited with my childhood sweetheart of thirty years ago last year in the summer. It was the happiest I had ever been. He was married 29 years and unhappy, but not yet divorced. This made me feel insecure and vunerable. I also found myself reacting to his mood swings...	Passion84ever	5	1150	May 29, 2008 by Passion84ever
	too far gone, hopeless pt 2 (Preview) Dear Everybody, When I made that post the other day... it was not to say I was leaving MIP, I would never do that, finding al-anon on-line has been a life saver for me. I really, truly thought I was going to 'end it all.' I made my preparations and carried out about half of my plans. Somehow hp got to me v...	kitty	8	704	May 29, 2008 by Karilynn
	Martin Sheen article (Preview) ((((((Family))))), I came across this article on Martin Sheen and how he dealt with his son Charlie's addiction. Go to the aarp website: www.aarpmagazine.org and click on the article. It talks about his own addiction, Alanon and AA. I've always loved Martin Sheen (I secretly harbor a thing for h...	Karilynn	4	502	May 28, 2008 by ddub
	Should I just move on? (Preview) I've never posted something before and not sure how this goes - so I'm just going to write my thoughts and see if there's any feedback or thoughts from anybody... Two years ago I met "Adam", 9 months ago I finally "figured out" he is an alcoholic - he had hidden it and disguised his b...	Beajour	7	536	May 28, 2008 by Jean4444
	Seeing others in pain... (Preview) The (young) new husband of a little girl (20) I care about as family hurt her, by "going on a blind date" messing around online etc. basicly like he missed the fact that he got married?? Anyway this is a kid who fooled all of us with all this talk of marriage and being excited about building a f...	glad	3	458	May 28, 2008 by kitty
	ODAT just leaps out at me (Preview) I had to chuckle the moment I opened ODAT tonight. I usually read it in the morning, but didn't this morning - got busy being a "human doing" today instead of a "human being". I've been feeding myself self-pity nonsense this evening after I found life wasn't going to go the way I...	Aloha	5	554	May 28, 2008 by maresie
	I'm at the end of my rope.... (Preview) It's been a long time since I've been on here but I feel so desperate right now and I need to vent. Almost 4 years ago I left my home and family and moved four states away to marry a man who I met on a Christian website. We communicated for over two years by email, phone calls, and spent about a month together...	Wilted	6	639	May 28, 2008 by maresie
	It's so hard.......... (Preview) I can't remember when the last time it was I was on this board-but anyway I am trying to change my attitude on life! I have started going to a counsellor. I am trying to learn a new way of dealing with my adult sons. On Mothers day my oldest son--more or less blamed me for his whole marriage breakdown. the w...	meagain	2	327	May 28, 2008 by maresie
	I hate sharing this (Preview) but I want other parents to know they are not the only ones. my son has been very absent. I kept some communication. I asked him to come that mothers day sunday,said well call me and let me know. My daughter and grandson were coming. he never called,nothing. I ended up in too much pain to see my daughter. b...	debilyn	3	418	May 28, 2008 by leo
	Spending time around "healthy" people? (Preview) I have been spending some time around people who are happy, content with themselves and their friends and family, have a sense of humor, are not all freaked out and weird all the time. Are predictable and calm and make good decisions. Its quite interesting. I have been seeing this guy (well, now it...	Jean4444	4	587	May 27, 2008 by Jen
	Valued is fundamental need (Preview) I've been reading and feel somewhat validated finding that feeling treasured or valuable is a basic human need. I didn't know that but I sure felt it without knowing how to put it into words. I can see how I became obsessive about caring for others or working too hard or using humor to deflect stress....	ddub	5	380	May 27, 2008 by Jen
	the same man...except for the alcohol (Preview) so I haven't posted anything in so long but sometimes if feels good to vent to people who understand. i have an ex husband and when i left him i was absolutley in love with him BUT i also had two little girls that didn't need to be in a house with an alcoholic. so i commend myself for leaving for them and for my...	lam0204	7	654	May 27, 2008 by lin0606
	saying goodbye (Preview) Tonight I say goodbye to the intern who has been treating me for the past 10 weeks. The 10 weeks flew by. I saw a therapist intern last year who helped me so much when I was leaving the A. Then I had no time or space to see her and that was difficult. I do not do well with goodbyes. I am hoping to get a referral ot...	maresie	2	330	May 27, 2008 by maresie
	Struggling with my feelings.... (Preview) Well I dropped AH off at the correctional facility last night so that he could begin serving his 10 day sentence. I felt sooo sick to my stomach as the big jail doors slammed behind him. I kept it together pretty good, didn't cry till I got to the truck then I prayed to my HP to help me & give me strength...	tma0413	6	470	May 27, 2008 by maresie
	always questioning (Preview) I find myself always questioning my responses to my AH. Rarely do I know if I do it "right". Thus, I find the need to bounce it off here, thinking each episode is a learning experience. We are getting a significant tax return. First time ever and a true blessing. My AH decided he would keep the...	Loupiness	6	480	May 27, 2008 by maresie
	Just wondering out loud (Preview) I had an instance with my mother come up earlier this week that I've been kind of putting on the back burner... something I've been kind of wondering about and that sort of thing. Maybe three weeks ago, when talking with my parents over the phone, my mom mentioned that she'd like to fly out to see me and m...	Aloha	7	346	May 27, 2008 by maresie
	Just dropping in to say hello. (Preview) Life has been crazy busy, and I miss being able to read down through the threads over here, but I do try and read a few during the week. I'm waiting to hear back on my application for grants for college, and whatever isn't covered will be paid by Vocational Rehabilitation, so no more college loans to pay of...	Tenderheartsks	4	488	May 27, 2008 by maresie
	Maybe THIS is his bottom....sigh... (Preview) A went on a binge Thursday morning, walked out of the house, and did not come back. I have gotten to the point that I do not worry; know I should. But he'll be home in a couple of days, repentent, sorry, embarrassed, ashamed, "I'll never drink again." You know the drill. Well....yesterday mor...	Diva	11	726	May 27, 2008 by maresie
	let it begin with me (Preview) I was wondering about that term and found the following in a search; Let there be peace on earth And let it begin with me. It serves as a good reminder when I find myself in a situation where I would tend to react with anger, or judgment, or criticism. Rather than react with anger, I silently sing to myself,...	norwood	4	499	May 27, 2008 by maresie
	update (Preview) I decided that an update was due. I have not been here much as I have been in transition from Hawaii and grad school to back on the mainland, back in the Midwest and back near my AH. Its been a tough transition and the end is not in sight but things are going very well overall. I did decide to get a divorce aft...	Jean4444	7	352	May 27, 2008 by maresie
	dealing with alcoholism appearing everywhere (Preview) Dear all, I have started to build up a social life again and go out a couple of time of week. I had slowly stared a friendship with a woman from the village who I would meet regularly. Last night she texted me to say she was out, she was supposed to be at a concert and I would meet her later. I went up earlier than...	maire rua	8	580	May 27, 2008 by Karilynn
	I think I have a date tonight. (Preview) I was on the old nobody new singles site last night and saw a cute new guy and sent him a message and we ended up talking and it looks like we are going to meet tonight. He just moved here from Mississippi. Sooo we'll see what happens, it sure would be nice to have someone of the manly persuasion to hang out...	carolinagirl	4	509	May 27, 2008 by artygirl
	not so good (Preview) not so happy, down on myself, lonely and how do you love yourself, ..... I feel like a broken record. Progress, then I feel like I am back to square one over and over. Don't even know I am back sliding until I'm back in crazy land & feeling like the odd man out, critical of me & others and negative....	ddub	8	388	May 27, 2008 by nmike
	Memorial Day (Preview) (((((((Family)))))))), Let us take a few minutes between the picnics, the games, and the fun times to remember what this day is really all about. This is not a political post. Hubby was a Navy Seal. This is a post about rememberance. To all who have served, are serving, and will serve in our armed for...	Karilynn	3	303	May 27, 2008 by nmike
	Wondering if I will ever be completely healthy again! (Preview) I am awaiting to go for further surgery on my back after this coming weekend. Each time I hope it will be the last time. Each time, it has proved not to be the case SO FAR. However, I realise that, physical health goes hand in hand with mental health. WOW, did I mention the dreaded word MENTAL health? Jus...	Suzannah	7	582	May 26, 2008 by Jean4444
	Learning to say NO - as a complete sentence. (Preview) Many of you will know that I have had trouble saying NO, let alone saying it as a complete sentence. I am practicing more each day and realise that by saying NO - as a complete sentence - I do not have to justify, explain, struggle with the 'reconsider this...' or ' well have to you thought ...'. I answer qui...	Suzannah	6	951	May 26, 2008 by glad
	If I only had a brain,heart and courage (Preview) Okay, So I havent posted in a couple days and I am fairley new here.I have been leaning on this site for support and venting and it was working for alittle bit but I have slipped up big time and now I feel like there is absolutley no hope for my AH. I know this but why am i letting this happen? Why did I do this a...	JeannineM	5	599	May 26, 2008 by wildthang86
	Just need to trust (Preview) I am slowly losing my ability to trust, not just in mankind, but in faith also. Nothing has gone right for anyone in my family for several months. My son can't find a job, is living out of town, and losing everything he has. A step- son is living with his grandparents and slowly losing touch with real...	Unsure	4	308	May 26, 2008 by Unsure
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.