The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi all, With some support from others, some disbelief from others, some fear from others, and (so far) always with love from others, I have made the decision to try again with my A. I don't take this lightly, or without a degree of fear - which I'm hoping to turn into a healthy awareness. I know very few things for sure in my life - but I know for sure that I love my A deeply. Can I live with him? Honestly don't know. Will I regret this decision? Honestly don't know. Would I always have regrets if I didn't try one more time? Yes. Will I handle whatever comes my way? Yes. Will I lean on all of you for support? Yes.
He's got the plane ticket in hand and is scheduled to arrive here in August. It's a 30 hour trip for him. It's a giant step for him. He's risking more than I am (at least in the physical sense) - though I know emotionally I'm putting it all on the line.
I pray, pray, pray, and pray a little more every single day. I know the real treasures in life are people. Loving someone is not a small thing. It's a huge thing - and I don't take it lightly.
I thank all of you for your support (whether you think I'm about to step in front of a truck or not). I will continue to read all of your words, and study the literature, and work this program to the best of my ability.
I am a sucker for a happy ending so, I will be on full support for you guys. Sticking to your boundries will be key. But then it all comes down to living life, together. I'm excited for you!
Good luck, Hon. Of course I will support you no matter what you decide, and I think the rest of the group will be rooting for you, too.
Love in recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
Well dear, you got my support too. I am proud of you, I am happy for you, I am excited and fearful for you and I am here for you too.
I know I could not have done what I did, or lived the life I have if I had not given it my best shot and tried each avenue. Only when I GOT TO THE END OF THE LINE did I have to give up. If you feel this is what you have to do before you call it a day, then go ahead with our blessings and our love and our support and our prayers too.
Preparation and understanding and compromise and boundaries seem to be the key elements once LOVE is acknowledged and mutual agreement has been taken into consideration. One can only do one's best. How wonderful that you both feel you still have enough to give to each other to try once more.
Suzannah
__________________
Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
I tried one more time last summer. It didn't work, I knew very very quickly. Somehow that tied up all the loose ends for me. Whether or not it works I think you will get closure and closure definitely helps. For me it was the absolute end for other people there is reconciliation. The risk was not that huge (although I definitely lost) I mitigated the risk a great deal. I leaned on this group a great deal. I talked about it all the time, whereas before I never spoke about the relationship in realistic terms, it was either all or nothing.
...we will continue to be here for you R3- I think its good that you are taking the risk or else you would wonder "what if"...you know we all love you so much and believe in you 100%. You have lots of moxie and courage and strength. And when you don't, we will. Keep coming around, we are going to be looking for you and there will always be a light on for you! Lots of love and in serenity, J.
R3, what a huge decision you have made. I personally am still working up the courage to even allow myself to even think that it may be a possibility for me and my AH. I mean I do think about it but then I push it out of my mind to afraid I guess that the answer may be know way. This is all new to me and I so afraid of making another mistake. I do know that I do love my AH and I care for him deeply but I do not miss the chaos that goes with him. I am still seeking my serenity and I am working the program and getting into counseling. I wish you the VERY BEST and I will pray for your continued serenity.
Thank you ALL for your responses. This group is amazing. The love, concern, and encouragement on this board is SO incredible. I'm grateful for all of you.
