The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Dear all, I have started to build up a social life again and go out a couple of time of week. I had slowly stared a friendship with a woman from the village who I would meet regularly. Last night she texted me to say she was out, she was supposed to be at a concert and I would meet her later. I went up earlier than scheduled and realised quickly from her that she had been out for a number of hours since in fact she had got home from work. It became difficult to have a conversation with her as she was quite drunk but then got considerably drunker and proceeded to pick up wrong messages, take my character, accuse me of things said which I had not... you know the drill. I behaved calmly, did not react and resolved the situation in quite a workline managerial way but I am not doing this again. Quite frankly I will distance myself from this as I am very bored with alcoholism, hate the type of thinking that goes on and am grateful that I found out this early in the friendship. I had arranged for her to share part of my well-earned holiday with me in Ballybunion. This will not be happening. I am sorry if I sound harsh. I am also not going to dwell on what she said as I am sure that I am not perfect and there is some merit in her words but I am also sure that I care deeply for myself and that is something I would not be able to do only for this wonderful board where I have learned so much, thanks to you all.
After living in the crisis mentality for years, at first our lives may seem boring without the constant roller coaster ride of alcoholism. But after some time in recovery, we can begin to see what alcholism is: a predictable spiral down, where every crisis is deja vu, and each new confrontation is an ever-cheaper Hollywood sequel.
I think I was sober less than a year myself when I realized how boring drunks are. My opinion hasn't gotten any better since....
This thread has sure been a help to me. I feel like I am always out of step or not quite fun because I dislike doing anything where alcohol is around.
I just need to hang out with folks who think more like I do and yes, it's the drinkers that are boring, can't carry on a conversation etc All along I still had the twisted thinking that I was the bore because I don't enjoy drinking. This disease is baffling and confusing.
Seeing the light now, I thank you!!!
hugs, ddub
-- Edited by ddub at 15:51, 2008-05-23
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"Choices are the hinges of destiny." Pythagoras You can't change the past, but you can change the future.
Hmmm, makes me think of years past when our social life was going to a sports bar after a game. Then we had kids and my AHsober quit drinking. If I have a drink with dinner or have a beer at home I get so much crap it hardly seems worth it. My mom started taking trips with a long time friend after my A father died. They had fun but then my mom's friend started getting drunk. She just had to tell her that she had already gone through this with my dad and she wasn't up for going thru it again. I have a friend of 40 years who lately has been taking my inventory when we drink together. Hard to take. She is one of those who pours one for her and two for you and gets offended if you say no. Probably won't be socializing with her too much.
When I turned 21 (legal drinking age) I stopped drinking. So, I just don't drink and I do not hang with people who do. I mean, I have and more so recently, but it is quite boring. All of my friends know I don't drink. Most of my friends are alanon so it is no issue. It isn't an issue with the ones who aren't alanon.
Making friends has been tough because I have to think about what I feel if the other person wants to drink. Am I ok with it? Sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not. And that is totally ok.
I hear ya! I work retail with alot of younger folk. I listen to their stories about partying, etc. Some I fear are on their way to becoming alcoholics. Some are already there. Others are just getting it out of their system. They are nice people and they invite me along. Lots of time I decline because I just don't want to be around people who drink that much. I am also considerably older than they are. I appreciate the offer, but I don't have huge amounts in common with them. Also it grows stale watching other people make fools of themselves. There's a part of me that wants to tell them that if you knew what I knew about drinking then you wouldn't touch a drop! But I can't save the world. I can only hope and pray that the ones who are close to the edge will seek help before it's too late. Others I hope they make it home safe.
I have a core group of girlfriends whom I have dinner once a month or so. There I will have a glass of wine or not. I've always been a homebody. I like to come home, relax and putter around the house. Or if I have to go to my sister's house and b-i-l is drinking I like to make plans where I have to leave early. I always have a back up plan of some kind. It doesn't hurt anyone's feelings. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
