Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

liljeannie · liljeannie

(((((family))))) As I am writing, I am smiling. A real, true smile. A smile of contentment, a smile of satisfaction, a smile of proof that miracles really DO happen if we truly seek them. I havent posted for a while as I have been so busy taking care of me. This is something that was new to me, but has now...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am struggling trying to find an old friend that I met in kindergarten. I have tried to get ahold of her recently but was unable to. This really gets to me because I considered her my best friend for many years. Anyway, it has been 20 years since I talked to her and I really want to hear from her. I just wan...

ryanvancouver · ryanvancouver

I went to my first meeting last night, and it was really good. Close to home and nice and cozy, 7 of us there. I talked for a few minutes, and it was great!!! Just coming to the realization that there are LOTS of people out there going through the same stuff as me and having the same feeling as myself. I have be...

harleywoman · harleywoman

My husband has been home for 30 days, he was loving and touching,kissing and all of that. since he has been back it is like he does not want to touch me at all...i know about the new relationship thing ..but what about the wife...does it mean that no hugging until he is better..really confused here...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))))), Just my annual, gentle reminder that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. We need to get our mamograms, do our self-exams and in general take good care of ourselves. Men, this means you too. Men can and have gotten breast cancer. A colleague of mine, found a lump, had a mamo...

ryanvancouver · ryanvancouver

I am very new at this and counting the hours until my first meeting this eve. Going through some of the other posts i have seen a few about isolation. To be more specific, the A i have been involved with has been talking about selling everything he owns and just taking off. He hates his job (liked it last wee...

MsSue · MsSue

Ok, I'll try and summarize my story. I've been married almost 33 years. We have 3 grown children not living at home. I discovered a year ago that my husband was hiding and drinking hard liquor. After being confronted, he vowed to try and stop on his own. Well, you probably know how that went. He seems to ha...

norwood · norwood

Hi fellow Alanons, Wow, this coming Friday is my 1 year anniversary in Alanon. Thank you all so much for your wonderful support and unconditional love. I look forward to continued recovery with all of you as we work our amazing program. Best - always, Paul

ryanvancouver · ryanvancouver

hey there. My doctor has been suggesting al-anon to me for years but i haven't gone. What can i expect? My relationship is pretty much done, i have had enough of my partners constant drinking, anger, etc...i find that the more of a jerk he is, the more i jump through hoops to make him happy. needless to say...

buick23 · buick23

I'm at the point where I just want to end the relationship (if that's even what I can call it). Yesterday, I mentioned something that needed to be done and he made an argument out of it. It doesn't matter anymore if I argue back, or nicely state my opinion on matters, or say nothing. The last thing he yelled...

maresie · maresie

As you all know I live in a place that is incredibly dysfunctional. The other night I came home to find some woman rifling through the back yard (where I have my plants and other stuff). Her son had lived in the house and she was looking for something there god knows what he lived upstairs. I was absolutel...

suzip · suzip

I have a very dear friend who is battling multiple cancers in her body. She has such a positive outlook on her life and her situation, and is an inspiration to me and everyone who knows her. When I get down about my situation with my Ah and worry about paying bills and everything else I tend to worry about I t...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

I have questions that may sound silly but I am curious and when I'm curious, I ask! If an individual that is employed is an alcoholic, gets sent to detox then to rehab are they entitled to disability benefits? Are they entitled to resume their employment position when the get out of rehab? What if t...

reef999 · reef999

Hi guys, My boyfriend went to his first AA meeting a week ago...has stayed sober since (the longest time since we've been together). I'm very proud of him and I've been to a few meetings with him as well as a few Al anon for myself. All of a sudden though....I feel more alone than ever. He has a lot of A ten...

nalani · nalani

Getting from the bed to my desk this morning was probably like most other mornings. I just notice some morning "rituals" more on some days - like today. You start it out waiting your turn for the bathroom because you only have one and the two teenagers living in your home have decided the ne...

jewely · jewely

something in me feels like it is dying this is scarey it has happended to me before. this is the part in my program where i always turn back. higher power has brought this issue [defect] to my attention more than once. when i pray for wisdom and higher power brings something to my attention, by way of mor...

mslouise · mslouise

I am such a stupid idiot!!!! My sister just pointed out something to me that I know see clearly and I fell for it again. I told my sister that I texted my ex telling him that I thought he did a good thing by calling someone in his AA group. This was after the fact I told him he doesn't have to pay me back becaus...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Dear Family and Debilyn, so sorry I have been absent...but that fall I had on 1 September took me into hospital and I have not been well since. What with the medication that sent me on the weirdiest voyage into the unknown depths of stupor and feeling so spaced out that I thought I had been sent to Mars; I h...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

If you raed my last post, you know that I replied to my "BF" in what I thought was a cold reaction to his apology for being drunk on Sunday night after being sober for three weeks. Well, it's true what many say--the A will always return! He called today to see if he could pick some stuff up at the...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Thank you for your response to my last post. I was more than please to see that I was viewed as working the program. Surprised, actually. Yay, for me. Gonna work on getting some ambien. It continues... The fear that I have been harboring, second only to the bookkeeper being fired, is my AH's g/f becom...

masspedirn · masspedirn

I need some help guys. I am really trying to focus on me and my newfound program and have attended 2 f2f mtgs and have started reading many of the recommended books. HOWEVER, it seems the littlest things set me off and I end up ranting and becoming furious with my ASoberBF. I just don't have any trust anymo...

MBJ · MBJ

Here I am again, thinking about my sober A husband. About a month ago he started doubting his program, hating the world, wanting to run away again. For about a week I lived with this knot in my stomach, again. I was not sleeping, again. I was watching every little thing he did, again. We got past it. He call...

princessloretta · princessloretta

I know that I need to focus on me and detach from my A hubby, but here is the thing, I have a strong suspicion that he cheated on me. I dont want to say I can deal with the drinking part, knowing that darn well I cant, but I can deal with that better than I can sitting here thinking he cheated on me. How am I ever goi...

Erica · Erica

Hey everyone, I feel like Im making steps in the right direction, those of you who know me will know its a step, I had little to no real boundaries until about a week ago when I grew stronger from being here, knowing the A typical behavior of an A and that i'm not alone really made me want to start trying for a...

Mariner · Mariner

Dear ((All)) My Abf who is not wanting contact from me?? whilst he is in rehab, called last night. It was bad news, he was on a days outing with his rehab and he had an accident, he broke his leg. He was calling me from the hospital, and was just out of surgery. It's a pretty nasty injury and things are going t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

After more than two years of being single - still hesitant to do what it takes to get involved in another relationship. I talk to various guys, then when it comes time to meet I only meet the ones I know already that I don't like. If there's a chance I MAY like them, I hmmmm and hawwww until the opportunit...

kissers · kissers

I was over a friend's house who is in the program and he showed me a birthday card from his daughter. She had written in the card that she will always be there for him. I felt sick to my stomach when I read that sentence. I wound up lying and saying that it was a nice card, then couldn't figure out if I should hav...

ddub · ddub

Need some translation of A behaviour here. Returned from an al anon wkend retreat and pockets filled with hugs, approval, appreciation, laughter, reflection, a ha moments etc so the transition to home can be a tough reality, I know. I was trying ........ A is trying to be so nice, make supper, cons...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, I am just a bundle of nerves. I want to disappear. Spoke with my sponsor, a friend, and read some literature, and I can't stop crying. The fear overwhelms me. I know all the slogans, that faith needs to replace fear, odat, lean on God, but I just feel so alone. Can't make the connection. N...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

I found this site last night and I am very grateful for it. My A boyfriend of 2 years and I "broke up" almost two months ago. We own a house together, but he moved out and has since been living with his A friend. I have had several emotions about all of this. Obviously hurt, bc I love him and I feel li...

Want to help · Want to help

Hi, I am new to this and am looking for advise. My mother has been an alcoholic for the past 15 years, approximatly. Every time we've confronted her in the past she would deny the problem. She has FINALLY admitted she had a problem and begun her path to sobriety. We are so proud of her for taking this...

mslouise · mslouise

So I talked to my ex this morning because I had to find out about the bank account and if he received his unemployment check or not so I could close the account and be done with it. He also owes me money. I called him and he said he got his check in the mail and thought the account had been closed already (he k...

debilyn · debilyn

Where are you over there across the pond? Whatcha doing? Is it fall there now? hugs,debilyn

princessloretta · princessloretta

Well I did it, semi did it that is, I called the number for Al-Anon and the girl there suggested that I contact some people in the area for the meeting times, and she gave me 3 phone numbers, I called all of them and this really nice lady, called me back, OMG she was awesome.. If everyone is this great at meeti...

talked to some AA members last night · mslouise

This thinking about my exbf is driving me crazy. I don't sleep well, wake up with thoughts of him. I wish I could just shut my mind off. I have been doing ok. Still cry, but I also keep busy. I have signed up for an exercise class 2x week and have been doing other things to get out and about. I have also b...

afglin · afglin

We've had many tornadoes hit Kentucky, but this week we were hit by Hurricane IKE. Sunday morning we had 30 to 50 MPH sustained winds for about 4 hours. There were gusts of 70 MPH. We had no rain and it was fairly sunny...jsut wind. It blew off roofs, blew down thousands of trees and powerlines. We had no e...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Just to forewarn you, this is long My ex A b/f has been home from rehab for a week and I havent spoken with him. Yes hes called, left messages, but I havent taken his calls. This is big for me. Really big and I am proud of myself for sticking to my guns. My curiosity is still here as far as how he is doing, ho...

princessloretta · princessloretta

From the posts i have posted in the past two days, you all know my husband went off on a binge and well things are just not good with me now.. I took my wedding ring off, i cant wear it anymore, it is a symbol of love and there is none there right now, and he obviously doesnt treat me like an equal, his wife, so why...

buick23 · buick23

Well as some of you read, we got into an argument Friday. Well same again yesterday after he came back home. He kept telling me that he didn't like this, he didn't like that. Icecream I bought wasn't the kind HE wanted, not much later he ate some of it. Then he tells me I don't ever buy any food that he likes to...

Searching2008 · Searching2008

and does it matter? I'm new here and feeling confused, sad and hopeless. I'm married to a hard-working, funny, caring man who also happens to be an amazing father. We have one child, she's almost one. We've been together 10 years, married for about 2 and 1/2. For quite some time now alcohol has b...

nalani · nalani

... what you can find out about yourself once you've started a program like this. My story with my qualifier isn't much different from anyone else's - he drank, I nagged, he drank more, I left, he followed, I returned ... you get the picture ... and my friends and family think I'm nuts and "deserv...

Suzannah · Suzannah

... I am so excited about it. It has been said a lot to me of late that I have changed. However, yesterday, whilst I was out with my friend it hit home like it had not done before. I am no longer 'the victim', I am ME. The person I really want to be. I am no longer trying to be the person everyone else wants me to...

buick23 · buick23

Well my abfsober and I had an argument today. My friend who is staying at my ex's house with her family called me today and said that my daughter had asked her to call me to ask me if I could come by and bring her something she really needed. My daughter is at her dads this week. So I told my bf I was going to bring...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Any and every relationship, whether it is with your spouse, your client, your employer, or the tech support person on the other end of the phone, is greatly enhanced by understanding. Make the effort to sincerely understand and to be clearly understood. Too often we allow assumptions to take the pla...

princessloretta · princessloretta

I posted yesterday about my husband and him going off on a drinking binge. Well I just dont know how or what to feel, I am feeling really empty inside. He just woke up from sleeping all day and is kind of acting like everything is " normal " , how is that. How can they go about their day like they did...

madmom · madmom

Hello all I'm a new poster and like many of you I feel like I'm in hell. I got married 13 weeks ago. About a month ago I unsuccessfully confronted my ah with my recognition of his problem. I offered to be supportive. My words (of course) fell on deaf ears. So, now, I'm preparing to confront my husband in w...

princessloretta · princessloretta

Well well I should have known it would not have lasted, my husband of five years, is an alcoholic and well stopped drinking again and then just a few weeks ago, with football season starting up, said he thinks he can handle one or two beers, uh ya rite, if that was the case he would not have ever needed to hav...

maresie · maresie

Just an update I am still very very much on survival. I eke out a living. I am not yet able to pay back my creditors. I have done a lot of work on my tiny tiny room. I have another couple of weeks work to make it better. Due to the size of the space, I have to take most of my stuff to storage so summer and winter I h...

glad · glad

Since A BF moved out I have had more success with my work and better times with my daughters and really enjoyed doing things for me. I know HP will direct my path. When I find myself obsessing or rolling things around in my head I ask myself if this is how my HP wants me to spend my time and energy. Then I am more...

Sincerely · Sincerely

I swear! Today I am my own worse enemy! What will it take to make me happy? I don't even know anymore. For so many years my AHubby was drunk and I wasn't happy. He is sober today and has been for a while but I am still not happy. He is gone 1/2 of the year from home. I have my little routine when he is gone a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have to correct myself in one of my responses to a post I read earlier this week. I mentioned something that was totally the wrong word. I did not mean that my AH went on a rampange at any time. He went off on a bender & ended up almost losing his life because he didn't eat much & drank quite a bit. I...

AlJay1721 · AlJay1721

Sometimes it is hard to know where to begin..... I lost my first husband, my soulmate....in 2001. He was chronically ill for more than 25 yrs.He was a wonderful husband and father of 4 children. After his sudden death, I was in shock for many months. While I too am chronically ill,the thought of so...

puzzle · puzzle

....and it is good to read again.....and now post. It has been a tough road. Starting to really focus on me and know I must leave when all is together (many things to pull together in order to stay away when I go). This time when I say I am leaving, I will be able to go through with it and start living for me. I'v...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi Guys I'm confused and need some insight into my situation. As I've said in my previous posts my Abf has recently gone into rehab, he was advised about being in a new relationship whilst newly clean and sober, this caused us great anxiety and we had spoken about it in depth. It's been an upsetting time,...

jewely · jewely

just for today, maybe even just for the moment, i feel sad. the incident with my niece this week brought to mind another loved one. a young nephew, aged 20 or there abouts. he disappeared a few years ago. his pickup truck was found near the big city bridge. it is believed he commitied suicide by jumping in...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

As part of my recovery I have been working on loving myself and not feeling ashamed of myself. I have a disorder called trichotillomania, trich for short. I pull out my eyelashes until I have none left. Some people with this disorder pull from their scalp as well but I am a lash puller. I feel like this is a...

Gared · Gared

It's been three months since the ex left and he took his bottle of Capt Morgan and one of the dogs. I made things really easy for him. I pretty much wrote off the debt he owes me and made it easy for him to get an apt by giving him a good reference. I was nice even though there was a big knife stuck in my back. Af...

Mariner · Mariner

The other day I felt really peaceful and strong, I visualised giving my Abf a kiss on the cheek and handing him over to the care of God. This really worked for me and I felt good, everytime I started stressing I repeated this image in my mind. Great progress for me. Then yesterday evening whilst I was in w...

joyoma · joyoma

Following last week's surgery I am struggling harder this time to recuperate. I think two procedures of this nature so close together makes it harder to bounce back. Needless to say, when you don't feel up to par physically, it makes anything else nearly impossible to handle. After weeks of sobrie...

MARGINALISED · MARGINALISED

This is my first posting although I have been reading through all your posts for a few weeks and they have helped me so much already. I am in so much pain at the moment.... I just dont understand or know what to do. My story is long, very sad and of course very similar to most others except I was living with...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	For all of you.... (Preview) (((((family))))) As I am writing, I am smiling. A real, true smile. A smile of contentment, a smile of satisfaction, a smile of proof that miracles really DO happen if we truly seek them. I havent posted for a while as I have been so busy taking care of me. This is something that was new to me, but has now...	liljeannie	4	554	Oct 5, 2008 by Suzannah
	An old friend (Preview) I am struggling trying to find an old friend that I met in kindergarten. I have tried to get ahold of her recently but was unable to. This really gets to me because I considered her my best friend for many years. Anyway, it has been 20 years since I talked to her and I really want to hear from her. I just wan...	Hoot Nanny	2	417	Oct 5, 2008 by Suzannah
	went to first meeting (Preview) I went to my first meeting last night, and it was really good. Close to home and nice and cozy, 7 of us there. I talked for a few minutes, and it was great!!! Just coming to the realization that there are LOTS of people out there going through the same stuff as me and having the same feeling as myself. I have be...	ryanvancouver	4	603	Oct 5, 2008 by Suzannah
	Relationship question (Preview) My husband has been home for 30 days, he was loving and touching,kissing and all of that. since he has been back it is like he does not want to touch me at all...i know about the new relationship thing ..but what about the wife...does it mean that no hugging until he is better..really confused here...	harleywoman	5	592	Oct 4, 2008 by Fifi
	Get those mamograms! (Preview) (((((Family))))), Just my annual, gentle reminder that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. We need to get our mamograms, do our self-exams and in general take good care of ourselves. Men, this means you too. Men can and have gotten breast cancer. A colleague of mine, found a lump, had a mamo...	Karilynn	2	478	Oct 4, 2008 by Lexie
	isolation keeps coming up (Preview) I am very new at this and counting the hours until my first meeting this eve. Going through some of the other posts i have seen a few about isolation. To be more specific, the A i have been involved with has been talking about selling everything he owns and just taking off. He hates his job (liked it last wee...	ryanvancouver	10	566	Oct 4, 2008 by glad lee
	New here...husband has a drinking problem...what to do? (Preview) Ok, I'll try and summarize my story. I've been married almost 33 years. We have 3 grown children not living at home. I discovered a year ago that my husband was hiding and drinking hard liquor. After being confronted, he vowed to try and stop on his own. Well, you probably know how that went. He seems to ha...	MsSue	9	3530	Oct 4, 2008 by MsSue
	shop now and avoid the rush (Preview) Hi fellow Alanons, Wow, this coming Friday is my 1 year anniversary in Alanon. Thank you all so much for your wonderful support and unconditional love. I look forward to continued recovery with all of you as we work our amazing program. Best - always, Paul	norwood	6	590	Oct 4, 2008 by aunitedway
	brand new to all this, any advice? (Preview) hey there. My doctor has been suggesting al-anon to me for years but i haven't gone. What can i expect? My relationship is pretty much done, i have had enough of my partners constant drinking, anger, etc...i find that the more of a jerk he is, the more i jump through hoops to make him happy. needless to say...	ryanvancouver	8	603	Oct 4, 2008 by Karilynn
	it just doesn't seem to get any better (Preview) I'm at the point where I just want to end the relationship (if that's even what I can call it). Yesterday, I mentioned something that needed to be done and he made an argument out of it. It doesn't matter anymore if I argue back, or nicely state my opinion on matters, or say nothing. The last thing he yelled...	buick23	5	647	Oct 3, 2008 by buick23
	advice needed help me get back to detachment. (Preview) As you all know I live in a place that is incredibly dysfunctional. The other night I came home to find some woman rifling through the back yard (where I have my plants and other stuff). Her son had lived in the house and she was looking for something there god knows what he lived upstairs. I was absolutel...	maresie	9	481	Oct 3, 2008 by java
	stay positive (Preview) I have a very dear friend who is battling multiple cancers in her body. She has such a positive outlook on her life and her situation, and is an inspiration to me and everyone who knows her. When I get down about my situation with my Ah and worry about paying bills and everything else I tend to worry about I t...	suzip	3	509	Oct 3, 2008 by maresie
	Just some questions.... responses greatly appreciated (Preview) I have questions that may sound silly but I am curious and when I'm curious, I ask! If an individual that is employed is an alcoholic, gets sent to detox then to rehab are they entitled to disability benefits? Are they entitled to resume their employment position when the get out of rehab? What if t...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	6	564	Oct 3, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	New....feeling very alone. (Preview) Hi guys, My boyfriend went to his first AA meeting a week ago...has stayed sober since (the longest time since we've been together). I'm very proud of him and I've been to a few meetings with him as well as a few Al anon for myself. All of a sudden though....I feel more alone than ever. He has a lot of A ten...	reef999	10	693	Oct 3, 2008 by ryanvancouver
	challenging day .. and it's only 8:30am (Preview) Getting from the bed to my desk this morning was probably like most other mornings. I just notice some morning "rituals" more on some days - like today. You start it out waiting your turn for the bathroom because you only have one and the two teenagers living in your home have decided the ne...	nalani	0	406	Oct 3, 2008 by nalani
	something in me (Preview) something in me feels like it is dying this is scarey it has happended to me before. this is the part in my program where i always turn back. higher power has brought this issue [defect] to my attention more than once. when i pray for wisdom and higher power brings something to my attention, by way of mor...	jewely	3	527	Oct 3, 2008 by jewely
	I feel like a stupid idiot!!!!!! When will I learn!!!!! (Preview) I am such a stupid idiot!!!! My sister just pointed out something to me that I know see clearly and I fell for it again. I told my sister that I texted my ex telling him that I thought he did a good thing by calling someone in his AA group. This was after the fact I told him he doesn't have to pay me back becaus...	mslouise	9	710	Oct 3, 2008 by mslouise
	Off this planet and back to earth with a crash... (Preview) Dear Family and Debilyn, so sorry I have been absent...but that fall I had on 1 September took me into hospital and I have not been well since. What with the medication that sent me on the weirdiest voyage into the unknown depths of stupor and feeling so spaced out that I thought I had been sent to Mars; I h...	Suzannah	3	566	Oct 2, 2008 by maresie
	So many emotions (Preview) If you raed my last post, you know that I replied to my "BF" in what I thought was a cold reaction to his apology for being drunk on Sunday night after being sober for three weeks. Well, it's true what many say--the A will always return! He called today to see if he could pick some stuff up at the...	hopeful123	6	460	Oct 2, 2008 by hopeful123
	Part 2 - will I ever sleep again (Preview) Thank you for your response to my last post. I was more than please to see that I was viewed as working the program. Surprised, actually. Yay, for me. Gonna work on getting some ambien. It continues... The fear that I have been harboring, second only to the bookkeeper being fired, is my AH's g/f becom...	Loupiness	6	519	Oct 2, 2008 by Loupiness
	when does the anger and suspicion start to fade????? (Preview) I need some help guys. I am really trying to focus on me and my newfound program and have attended 2 f2f mtgs and have started reading many of the recommended books. HOWEVER, it seems the littlest things set me off and I end up ranting and becoming furious with my ASoberBF. I just don't have any trust anymo...	masspedirn	12	768	Oct 2, 2008 by masspedirn
	Rollecoaster ride starts again (Preview) Here I am again, thinking about my sober A husband. About a month ago he started doubting his program, hating the world, wanting to run away again. For about a week I lived with this knot in my stomach, again. I was not sleeping, again. I was watching every little thing he did, again. We got past it. He call...	MBJ	7	634	Oct 2, 2008 by joyoma
	How do you ever get over these issues? (Preview) I know that I need to focus on me and detach from my A hubby, but here is the thing, I have a strong suspicion that he cheated on me. I dont want to say I can deal with the drinking part, knowing that darn well I cant, but I can deal with that better than I can sitting here thinking he cheated on me. How am I ever goi...	princessloretta	9	554	Oct 2, 2008 by princessloretta
	Just need to vent.. (Preview) Hey everyone, I feel like Im making steps in the right direction, those of you who know me will know its a step, I had little to no real boundaries until about a week ago when I grew stronger from being here, knowing the A typical behavior of an A and that i'm not alone really made me want to start trying for a...	Erica	6	482	Oct 2, 2008 by Erica
	What to do ?? (Preview) Dear ((All)) My Abf who is not wanting contact from me?? whilst he is in rehab, called last night. It was bad news, he was on a days outing with his rehab and he had an accident, he broke his leg. He was calling me from the hospital, and was just out of surgery. It's a pretty nasty injury and things are going t...	Mariner	4	573	Oct 2, 2008 by Jerry F
	I find myself... (Preview) After more than two years of being single - still hesitant to do what it takes to get involved in another relationship. I talk to various guys, then when it comes time to meet I only meet the ones I know already that I don't like. If there's a chance I MAY like them, I hmmmm and hawwww until the opportunit...	carolinagirl	3	384	Oct 2, 2008 by maresie
	Taking other people's inventory vs. telling the truth (Preview) I was over a friend's house who is in the program and he showed me a birthday card from his daughter. She had written in the card that she will always be there for him. I felt sick to my stomach when I read that sentence. I wound up lying and saying that it was a nice card, then couldn't figure out if I should hav...	kissers	13	8475	Oct 2, 2008 by learning76
	most paths are dead ends! (Preview) Need some translation of A behaviour here. Returned from an al anon wkend retreat and pockets filled with hugs, approval, appreciation, laughter, reflection, a ha moments etc so the transition to home can be a tough reality, I know. I was trying ........ A is trying to be so nice, make supper, cons...	ddub	4	834	Oct 2, 2008 by learning76
	will I ever sleep again? (Preview) Hi Friends, I am just a bundle of nerves. I want to disappear. Spoke with my sponsor, a friend, and read some literature, and I can't stop crying. The fear overwhelms me. I know all the slogans, that faith needs to replace fear, odat, lean on God, but I just feel so alone. Can't make the connection. N...	Loupiness	6	681	Oct 2, 2008 by learning76
	Did I react wrong? (Preview) I found this site last night and I am very grateful for it. My A boyfriend of 2 years and I "broke up" almost two months ago. We own a house together, but he moved out and has since been living with his A friend. I have had several emotions about all of this. Obviously hurt, bc I love him and I feel li...	hopeful123	13	621	Oct 2, 2008 by learning76
	Alcoholic Parent (Preview) Hi, I am new to this and am looking for advise. My mother has been an alcoholic for the past 15 years, approximatly. Every time we've confronted her in the past she would deny the problem. She has FINALLY admitted she had a problem and begun her path to sobriety. We are so proud of her for taking this...	Want to help	4	607	Oct 2, 2008 by learning76
	last time (Preview) So I talked to my ex this morning because I had to find out about the bank account and if he received his unemployment check or not so I could close the account and be done with it. He also owes me money. I called him and he said he got his check in the mail and thought the account had been closed already (he k...	mslouise	5	440	Oct 2, 2008 by mslouise
	Suannah? (Preview) Where are you over there across the pond? Whatcha doing? Is it fall there now? hugs,debilyn	debilyn	0	295	Oct 1, 2008 by debilyn
	i semi did it... (Preview) Well I did it, semi did it that is, I called the number for Al-Anon and the girl there suggested that I contact some people in the area for the meeting times, and she gave me 3 phone numbers, I called all of them and this really nice lady, called me back, OMG she was awesome.. If everyone is this great at meeti...	princessloretta	3	473	Oct 1, 2008 by debilyn
	talked to some AA members last night (Preview) This thinking about my exbf is driving me crazy. I don't sleep well, wake up with thoughts of him. I wish I could just shut my mind off. I have been doing ok. Still cry, but I also keep busy. I have signed up for an exercise class 2x week and have been doing other things to get out and about. I have also b...	mslouise	7	791	Oct 1, 2008 by nmike
	hurricane hits KY (Preview) We've had many tornadoes hit Kentucky, but this week we were hit by Hurricane IKE. Sunday morning we had 30 to 50 MPH sustained winds for about 4 hours. There were gusts of 70 MPH. We had no rain and it was fairly sunny...jsut wind. It blew off roofs, blew down thousands of trees and powerlines. We had no e...	afglin	6	402	Oct 1, 2008 by Sincerely
	This is long.... sorry (Preview) Just to forewarn you, this is long My ex A b/f has been home from rehab for a week and I havent spoken with him. Yes hes called, left messages, but I havent taken his calls. This is big for me. Really big and I am proud of myself for sticking to my guns. My curiosity is still here as far as how he is doing, ho...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	12	620	Oct 1, 2008 by kitty
	feeling very hurt today (Preview) From the posts i have posted in the past two days, you all know my husband went off on a binge and well things are just not good with me now.. I took my wedding ring off, i cant wear it anymore, it is a symbol of love and there is none there right now, and he obviously doesnt treat me like an equal, his wife, so why...	princessloretta	9	843	Oct 1, 2008 by maresie
	asober is really irritating me (Preview) Well as some of you read, we got into an argument Friday. Well same again yesterday after he came back home. He kept telling me that he didn't like this, he didn't like that. Icecream I bought wasn't the kind HE wanted, not much later he ate some of it. Then he tells me I don't ever buy any food that he likes to...	buick23	8	542	Oct 1, 2008 by buick23
	Alcohol Abuse or Alcoholism... (Preview) and does it matter? I'm new here and feeling confused, sad and hopeless. I'm married to a hard-working, funny, caring man who also happens to be an amazing father. We have one child, she's almost one. We've been together 10 years, married for about 2 and 1/2. For quite some time now alcohol has b...	Searching2008	6	598	Oct 1, 2008 by RLC
	it sure is amazing ... (Preview) ... what you can find out about yourself once you've started a program like this. My story with my qualifier isn't much different from anyone else's - he drank, I nagged, he drank more, I left, he followed, I returned ... you get the picture ... and my friends and family think I'm nuts and "deserv...	nalani	5	750	Sep 30, 2008 by ddub
	The first day of the rest of my life... (Preview) ... I am so excited about it. It has been said a lot to me of late that I have changed. However, yesterday, whilst I was out with my friend it hit home like it had not done before. I am no longer 'the victim', I am ME. The person I really want to be. I am no longer trying to be the person everyone else wants me to...	Suzannah	5	521	Sep 30, 2008 by Sincerely
	arguments and opinions (Preview) Well my abfsober and I had an argument today. My friend who is staying at my ex's house with her family called me today and said that my daughter had asked her to call me to ask me if I could come by and bring her something she really needed. My daughter is at her dads this week. So I told my bf I was going to bring...	buick23	3	533	Sep 30, 2008 by Sincerely
	Understand. (Preview) Any and every relationship, whether it is with your spouse, your client, your employer, or the tech support person on the other end of the phone, is greatly enhanced by understanding. Make the effort to sincerely understand and to be clearly understood. Too often we allow assumptions to take the pla...	Sincerely	3	510	Sep 30, 2008 by Sincerely
	follow up to my post yesterday, needing to vent. (Preview) I posted yesterday about my husband and him going off on a drinking binge. Well I just dont know how or what to feel, I am feeling really empty inside. He just woke up from sleeping all day and is kind of acting like everything is " normal " , how is that. How can they go about their day like they did...	princessloretta	6	586	Sep 30, 2008 by Jerry F
	New and preparing to confront (again) (Preview) Hello all I'm a new poster and like many of you I feel like I'm in hell. I got married 13 weeks ago. About a month ago I unsuccessfully confronted my ah with my recognition of his problem. I offered to be supportive. My words (of course) fell on deaf ears. So, now, I'm preparing to confront my husband in w...	madmom	14	799	Sep 30, 2008 by madmom
	Hubby started drinking again.. ugh (Preview) Well well I should have known it would not have lasted, my husband of five years, is an alcoholic and well stopped drinking again and then just a few weeks ago, with football season starting up, said he thinks he can handle one or two beers, uh ya rite, if that was the case he would not have ever needed to hav...	princessloretta	11	2188	Sep 30, 2008 by buick23
	survival on a better level. (Preview) Just an update I am still very very much on survival. I eke out a living. I am not yet able to pay back my creditors. I have done a lot of work on my tiny tiny room. I have another couple of weeks work to make it better. Due to the size of the space, I have to take most of my stuff to storage so summer and winter I h...	maresie	6	504	Sep 30, 2008 by Mariner
	Next right thing (Preview) Since A BF moved out I have had more success with my work and better times with my daughters and really enjoyed doing things for me. I know HP will direct my path. When I find myself obsessing or rolling things around in my head I ask myself if this is how my HP wants me to spend my time and energy. Then I am more...	glad	3	571	Sep 29, 2008 by Maria123
	Is it too much to ask????? (Preview) I swear! Today I am my own worse enemy! What will it take to make me happy? I don't even know anymore. For so many years my AHubby was drunk and I wasn't happy. He is sober today and has been for a while but I am still not happy. He is gone 1/2 of the year from home. I have my little routine when he is gone a...	Sincerely	11	626	Sep 29, 2008 by Sincerely
	Poor choice of words! (Preview) I have to correct myself in one of my responses to a post I read earlier this week. I mentioned something that was totally the wrong word. I did not mean that my AH went on a rampange at any time. He went off on a bender & ended up almost losing his life because he didn't eat much & drank quite a bit. I...	Hoot Nanny	5	467	Sep 29, 2008 by maire rua
	New to this..... (Preview) Sometimes it is hard to know where to begin..... I lost my first husband, my soulmate....in 2001. He was chronically ill for more than 25 yrs.He was a wonderful husband and father of 4 children. After his sudden death, I was in shock for many months. While I too am chronically ill,the thought of so...	AlJay1721	3	504	Sep 29, 2008 by maresie
	It's been a while.... (Preview) ....and it is good to read again.....and now post. It has been a tough road. Starting to really focus on me and know I must leave when all is together (many things to pull together in order to stay away when I go). This time when I say I am leaving, I will be able to go through with it and start living for me. I'v...	puzzle	3	510	Sep 28, 2008 by nmike
	Am I missing something here? (Preview) Hi Guys I'm confused and need some insight into my situation. As I've said in my previous posts my Abf has recently gone into rehab, he was advised about being in a new relationship whilst newly clean and sober, this caused us great anxiety and we had spoken about it in depth. It's been an upsetting time,...	Mariner	4	787	Sep 28, 2008 by glad
	serenity within the sadness (Preview) just for today, maybe even just for the moment, i feel sad. the incident with my niece this week brought to mind another loved one. a young nephew, aged 20 or there abouts. he disappeared a few years ago. his pickup truck was found near the big city bridge. it is believed he commitied suicide by jumping in...	jewely	6	518	Sep 28, 2008 by Peggy7
	Trichotillomania Anyone? (Preview) As part of my recovery I have been working on loving myself and not feeling ashamed of myself. I have a disorder called trichotillomania, trich for short. I pull out my eyelashes until I have none left. Some people with this disorder pull from their scalp as well but I am a lash puller. I feel like this is a...	StargazerLily	7	647	Sep 28, 2008 by M3
	I don't understasnd (Preview) It's been three months since the ex left and he took his bottle of Capt Morgan and one of the dogs. I made things really easy for him. I pretty much wrote off the debt he owes me and made it easy for him to get an apt by giving him a good reference. I was nice even though there was a big knife stuck in my back. Af...	Gared	5	632	Sep 27, 2008 by kitty
	one step forward 10 steps back (Preview) The other day I felt really peaceful and strong, I visualised giving my Abf a kiss on the cheek and handing him over to the care of God. This really worked for me and I felt good, everytime I started stressing I repeated this image in my mind. Great progress for me. Then yesterday evening whilst I was in w...	Mariner	4	731	Sep 27, 2008 by maresie
	struggling (Preview) Following last week's surgery I am struggling harder this time to recuperate. I think two procedures of this nature so close together makes it harder to bounce back. Needless to say, when you don't feel up to par physically, it makes anything else nearly impossible to handle. After weeks of sobrie...	joyoma	6	532	Sep 27, 2008 by Peggy7
	Please help me understand ... new to Alanon (Preview) This is my first posting although I have been reading through all your posts for a few weeks and they have helped me so much already. I am in so much pain at the moment.... I just dont understand or know what to do. My story is long, very sad and of course very similar to most others except I was living with...	MARGINALISED	7	587	Sep 27, 2008 by Peggy7
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.