Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Becky1 · Becky1

Today, I will take a deep breath as I walk away from my AH for the last time. And I won't look back. I moved out in July, was the hardest thing I've ever done. But once I "let go and let God" you wouldn't believe the blessings that have been heaped on me. Once I quit fighting and struggling with l...

lonewolfmama · lonewolfmama

Please help. I know there are those out there who have been through this and have some story to tell me that will help me make a good decision about what to do. I am 36 weeks pregnant and my ABF has been sober and so wonderful for the past two months with no incident. I put up strict boundaries but in no way ha...

serenity041807 · serenity041807

I haven't posted here in a long time. I need to stay close to the program because I am living in fear. Last Monday my ABF took 10-12 Adavan and drank way too much. I am so scared for him I don't know what to do. He is in rehab once again. And I went to family group this last weekend and family day. I know tha...

maresie · maresie

I am now more than one year out from leaving the A and moving out on my own. I am also over the hurdle of just craving for someone to come along and rescue me. I do most things myself and no longer crave for someone to help me. Some days it is pretty hard and other days I feel like I have been self reliant all my l...

dekare · dekare

I have a best friend who is a recovering alcoholic. My attitute toward the friend is "always a friend, no matter what." However, since seeking help and treatment in 2000, he has become distant and very nervous around me. He claims we are still friends, but his actions don't show it. I don't s...

learning76 · learning76

I wrote a really long post, but basically it's this. I want to move out of the house, where I'm currently living with my parents & younger sister.. There's just too many of us in the house, & conflicts keep arising... (None of them is alcoholics, but there are/have been alcoholic relatives, ...

soconfused · soconfused

Hi...First time on. Tonight was the kick in the butt to finally ask for some help. I picked him up from detox yesterday. He spent the night here ( we seperated 2 mths a go), told me he loves me so much, cannot live w/out me blah blah blah. I brought him home today so he could clean his urine/ empty bottle fille...

abbyal · abbyal

PAGE 102 * new book on discovering choices * Those of us who have lived with the effects of alcoholism can become obsessed with the behavior of others. We spend time analyzing behavior, figuring out motives , and identifying what we deem is wrong with the people in our lives. In Al-Anon we learn that e...

RLC · RLC

(To the MIP family) For those that would like I thought it would be a good idea to share your story, the before and after of Al-Anon becoming a part of your life. Where you were. Where you are. What the program has done for you. It could be good for newbies or guests whose life is or has been affected by...

buick23 · buick23

I'm finally able to post something positive. My daughther and I had a great weekend. Got stuff to redecorate her bathroom (in pink, I know the A will hate it but I don't care), went out to eat, then went to the auction. I know my hp directed me to the auction. I happend to win the bid on a rug and I had been loo...

debilyn · debilyn

geez A' are a pain in the patooty. shaking head. Still could in no way do what a lot of you go thru. Since i did not have to be in a vehicle with the A I talk about, I hired him to do work around here. He really did well as far as he got, I paid him well. Sadly it was me staying away from him as he worked. If I was there...

sadako · sadako

my A-ex-boyfriend had emergency surgery on his spine (the first surgery went wrong) and he asked if he could come stay with me, would i help him with dressing changes and other little things. i said yes, as long as he didn't bring his way of taking out his anger on me back with him. so far so good, he's gotte...

Brizzle Gal · Brizzle Gal

I have not seen my AGF since last Sun. She has been on a 'bender'. We did not speak all week as I felt like I needed some space. We have been in text contact. She reckoned that she was dry since thursday. Today she drove 16 miles to my house whilst I was at work to 'see me' but left before I got back. As it turned ou...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Hi everyone! I am officailly moved back in with my husband! I am very happy about it, too! It was tough but I got in done in time! Stress was & still is there but I am getting through. Also, my AH ended up in the hospital because of diabetes. He almost died but got to the ER in time. His Blood Sugar was o...

Fifi · Fifi

It has been a year since my ex A BF left...and as I have mentioned we recently had a chance to talk and heal a bit. He has been sober nearly 2 years now...that is my history here of becoming "sober" from my own old patterns,too. It has brought so much up for me though.....I remember the pain and...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Dear Family, I think I told you that I have been in real trouble since 1 September when I had my fall. During the last three days I have had so many friends visiting me and have been tracing back over the last month or so. Now I can confess. The drugs that the doctors at the hospital had insisted that I take ha...

liljeannie · liljeannie

(((((family))))) As I am writing, I am smiling. A real, true smile. A smile of contentment, a smile of satisfaction, a smile of proof that miracles really DO happen if we truly seek them. I havent posted for a while as I have been so busy taking care of me. This is something that was new to me, but has now...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am struggling trying to find an old friend that I met in kindergarten. I have tried to get ahold of her recently but was unable to. This really gets to me because I considered her my best friend for many years. Anyway, it has been 20 years since I talked to her and I really want to hear from her. I just wan...

ryanvancouver · ryanvancouver

I went to my first meeting last night, and it was really good. Close to home and nice and cozy, 7 of us there. I talked for a few minutes, and it was great!!! Just coming to the realization that there are LOTS of people out there going through the same stuff as me and having the same feeling as myself. I have be...

harleywoman · harleywoman

My husband has been home for 30 days, he was loving and touching,kissing and all of that. since he has been back it is like he does not want to touch me at all...i know about the new relationship thing ..but what about the wife...does it mean that no hugging until he is better..really confused here...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))))), Just my annual, gentle reminder that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. We need to get our mamograms, do our self-exams and in general take good care of ourselves. Men, this means you too. Men can and have gotten breast cancer. A colleague of mine, found a lump, had a mamo...

ryanvancouver · ryanvancouver

I am very new at this and counting the hours until my first meeting this eve. Going through some of the other posts i have seen a few about isolation. To be more specific, the A i have been involved with has been talking about selling everything he owns and just taking off. He hates his job (liked it last wee...

MsSue · MsSue

Ok, I'll try and summarize my story. I've been married almost 33 years. We have 3 grown children not living at home. I discovered a year ago that my husband was hiding and drinking hard liquor. After being confronted, he vowed to try and stop on his own. Well, you probably know how that went. He seems to ha...

norwood · norwood

Hi fellow Alanons, Wow, this coming Friday is my 1 year anniversary in Alanon. Thank you all so much for your wonderful support and unconditional love. I look forward to continued recovery with all of you as we work our amazing program. Best - always, Paul

ryanvancouver · ryanvancouver

hey there. My doctor has been suggesting al-anon to me for years but i haven't gone. What can i expect? My relationship is pretty much done, i have had enough of my partners constant drinking, anger, etc...i find that the more of a jerk he is, the more i jump through hoops to make him happy. needless to say...

buick23 · buick23

I'm at the point where I just want to end the relationship (if that's even what I can call it). Yesterday, I mentioned something that needed to be done and he made an argument out of it. It doesn't matter anymore if I argue back, or nicely state my opinion on matters, or say nothing. The last thing he yelled...

maresie · maresie

As you all know I live in a place that is incredibly dysfunctional. The other night I came home to find some woman rifling through the back yard (where I have my plants and other stuff). Her son had lived in the house and she was looking for something there god knows what he lived upstairs. I was absolutel...

suzip · suzip

I have a very dear friend who is battling multiple cancers in her body. She has such a positive outlook on her life and her situation, and is an inspiration to me and everyone who knows her. When I get down about my situation with my Ah and worry about paying bills and everything else I tend to worry about I t...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

I have questions that may sound silly but I am curious and when I'm curious, I ask! If an individual that is employed is an alcoholic, gets sent to detox then to rehab are they entitled to disability benefits? Are they entitled to resume their employment position when the get out of rehab? What if t...

reef999 · reef999

Hi guys, My boyfriend went to his first AA meeting a week ago...has stayed sober since (the longest time since we've been together). I'm very proud of him and I've been to a few meetings with him as well as a few Al anon for myself. All of a sudden though....I feel more alone than ever. He has a lot of A ten...

nalani · nalani

Getting from the bed to my desk this morning was probably like most other mornings. I just notice some morning "rituals" more on some days - like today. You start it out waiting your turn for the bathroom because you only have one and the two teenagers living in your home have decided the ne...

jewely · jewely

something in me feels like it is dying this is scarey it has happended to me before. this is the part in my program where i always turn back. higher power has brought this issue [defect] to my attention more than once. when i pray for wisdom and higher power brings something to my attention, by way of mor...

mslouise · mslouise

I am such a stupid idiot!!!! My sister just pointed out something to me that I know see clearly and I fell for it again. I told my sister that I texted my ex telling him that I thought he did a good thing by calling someone in his AA group. This was after the fact I told him he doesn't have to pay me back becaus...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Dear Family and Debilyn, so sorry I have been absent...but that fall I had on 1 September took me into hospital and I have not been well since. What with the medication that sent me on the weirdiest voyage into the unknown depths of stupor and feeling so spaced out that I thought I had been sent to Mars; I h...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

If you raed my last post, you know that I replied to my "BF" in what I thought was a cold reaction to his apology for being drunk on Sunday night after being sober for three weeks. Well, it's true what many say--the A will always return! He called today to see if he could pick some stuff up at the...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Thank you for your response to my last post. I was more than please to see that I was viewed as working the program. Surprised, actually. Yay, for me. Gonna work on getting some ambien. It continues... The fear that I have been harboring, second only to the bookkeeper being fired, is my AH's g/f becom...

masspedirn · masspedirn

I need some help guys. I am really trying to focus on me and my newfound program and have attended 2 f2f mtgs and have started reading many of the recommended books. HOWEVER, it seems the littlest things set me off and I end up ranting and becoming furious with my ASoberBF. I just don't have any trust anymo...

MBJ · MBJ

Here I am again, thinking about my sober A husband. About a month ago he started doubting his program, hating the world, wanting to run away again. For about a week I lived with this knot in my stomach, again. I was not sleeping, again. I was watching every little thing he did, again. We got past it. He call...

princessloretta · princessloretta

I know that I need to focus on me and detach from my A hubby, but here is the thing, I have a strong suspicion that he cheated on me. I dont want to say I can deal with the drinking part, knowing that darn well I cant, but I can deal with that better than I can sitting here thinking he cheated on me. How am I ever goi...

Erica · Erica

Hey everyone, I feel like Im making steps in the right direction, those of you who know me will know its a step, I had little to no real boundaries until about a week ago when I grew stronger from being here, knowing the A typical behavior of an A and that i'm not alone really made me want to start trying for a...

Mariner · Mariner

Dear ((All)) My Abf who is not wanting contact from me?? whilst he is in rehab, called last night. It was bad news, he was on a days outing with his rehab and he had an accident, he broke his leg. He was calling me from the hospital, and was just out of surgery. It's a pretty nasty injury and things are going t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

After more than two years of being single - still hesitant to do what it takes to get involved in another relationship. I talk to various guys, then when it comes time to meet I only meet the ones I know already that I don't like. If there's a chance I MAY like them, I hmmmm and hawwww until the opportunit...

kissers · kissers

I was over a friend's house who is in the program and he showed me a birthday card from his daughter. She had written in the card that she will always be there for him. I felt sick to my stomach when I read that sentence. I wound up lying and saying that it was a nice card, then couldn't figure out if I should hav...

ddub · ddub

Need some translation of A behaviour here. Returned from an al anon wkend retreat and pockets filled with hugs, approval, appreciation, laughter, reflection, a ha moments etc so the transition to home can be a tough reality, I know. I was trying ........ A is trying to be so nice, make supper, cons...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, I am just a bundle of nerves. I want to disappear. Spoke with my sponsor, a friend, and read some literature, and I can't stop crying. The fear overwhelms me. I know all the slogans, that faith needs to replace fear, odat, lean on God, but I just feel so alone. Can't make the connection. N...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

I found this site last night and I am very grateful for it. My A boyfriend of 2 years and I "broke up" almost two months ago. We own a house together, but he moved out and has since been living with his A friend. I have had several emotions about all of this. Obviously hurt, bc I love him and I feel li...

Want to help · Want to help

Hi, I am new to this and am looking for advise. My mother has been an alcoholic for the past 15 years, approximatly. Every time we've confronted her in the past she would deny the problem. She has FINALLY admitted she had a problem and begun her path to sobriety. We are so proud of her for taking this...

mslouise · mslouise

So I talked to my ex this morning because I had to find out about the bank account and if he received his unemployment check or not so I could close the account and be done with it. He also owes me money. I called him and he said he got his check in the mail and thought the account had been closed already (he k...

debilyn · debilyn

Where are you over there across the pond? Whatcha doing? Is it fall there now? hugs,debilyn

princessloretta · princessloretta

Well I did it, semi did it that is, I called the number for Al-Anon and the girl there suggested that I contact some people in the area for the meeting times, and she gave me 3 phone numbers, I called all of them and this really nice lady, called me back, OMG she was awesome.. If everyone is this great at meeti...

talked to some AA members last night · mslouise

This thinking about my exbf is driving me crazy. I don't sleep well, wake up with thoughts of him. I wish I could just shut my mind off. I have been doing ok. Still cry, but I also keep busy. I have signed up for an exercise class 2x week and have been doing other things to get out and about. I have also b...

afglin · afglin

We've had many tornadoes hit Kentucky, but this week we were hit by Hurricane IKE. Sunday morning we had 30 to 50 MPH sustained winds for about 4 hours. There were gusts of 70 MPH. We had no rain and it was fairly sunny...jsut wind. It blew off roofs, blew down thousands of trees and powerlines. We had no e...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Just to forewarn you, this is long My ex A b/f has been home from rehab for a week and I havent spoken with him. Yes hes called, left messages, but I havent taken his calls. This is big for me. Really big and I am proud of myself for sticking to my guns. My curiosity is still here as far as how he is doing, ho...

princessloretta · princessloretta

From the posts i have posted in the past two days, you all know my husband went off on a binge and well things are just not good with me now.. I took my wedding ring off, i cant wear it anymore, it is a symbol of love and there is none there right now, and he obviously doesnt treat me like an equal, his wife, so why...

buick23 · buick23

Well as some of you read, we got into an argument Friday. Well same again yesterday after he came back home. He kept telling me that he didn't like this, he didn't like that. Icecream I bought wasn't the kind HE wanted, not much later he ate some of it. Then he tells me I don't ever buy any food that he likes to...

Searching2008 · Searching2008

and does it matter? I'm new here and feeling confused, sad and hopeless. I'm married to a hard-working, funny, caring man who also happens to be an amazing father. We have one child, she's almost one. We've been together 10 years, married for about 2 and 1/2. For quite some time now alcohol has b...

nalani · nalani

... what you can find out about yourself once you've started a program like this. My story with my qualifier isn't much different from anyone else's - he drank, I nagged, he drank more, I left, he followed, I returned ... you get the picture ... and my friends and family think I'm nuts and "deserv...

Suzannah · Suzannah

... I am so excited about it. It has been said a lot to me of late that I have changed. However, yesterday, whilst I was out with my friend it hit home like it had not done before. I am no longer 'the victim', I am ME. The person I really want to be. I am no longer trying to be the person everyone else wants me to...

buick23 · buick23

Well my abfsober and I had an argument today. My friend who is staying at my ex's house with her family called me today and said that my daughter had asked her to call me to ask me if I could come by and bring her something she really needed. My daughter is at her dads this week. So I told my bf I was going to bring...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Any and every relationship, whether it is with your spouse, your client, your employer, or the tech support person on the other end of the phone, is greatly enhanced by understanding. Make the effort to sincerely understand and to be clearly understood. Too often we allow assumptions to take the pla...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Dissolution Final Today (Preview) Today, I will take a deep breath as I walk away from my AH for the last time. And I won't look back. I moved out in July, was the hardest thing I've ever done. But once I "let go and let God" you wouldn't believe the blessings that have been heaped on me. Once I quit fighting and struggling with l...	Becky1	7	565	Oct 6, 2008 by java
	ABF off the wagon..Me 8 mos. Pregnant...long vent (Preview) Please help. I know there are those out there who have been through this and have some story to tell me that will help me make a good decision about what to do. I am 36 weeks pregnant and my ABF has been sober and so wonderful for the past two months with no incident. I put up strict boundaries but in no way ha...	lonewolfmama	5	643	Oct 6, 2008 by hopeful123
	ABF tried to kill himself (Preview) I haven't posted here in a long time. I need to stay close to the program because I am living in fear. Last Monday my ABF took 10-12 Adavan and drank way too much. I am so scared for him I don't know what to do. He is in rehab once again. And I went to family group this last weekend and family day. I know tha...	serenity041807	10	671	Oct 6, 2008 by Fifi
	self reliance (Preview) I am now more than one year out from leaving the A and moving out on my own. I am also over the hurdle of just craving for someone to come along and rescue me. I do most things myself and no longer crave for someone to help me. Some days it is pretty hard and other days I feel like I have been self reliant all my l...	maresie	5	582	Oct 6, 2008 by maresie
	From best friends to a feeling of great loss... (Preview) I have a best friend who is a recovering alcoholic. My attitute toward the friend is "always a friend, no matter what." However, since seeking help and treatment in 2000, he has become distant and very nervous around me. He claims we are still friends, but his actions don't show it. I don't s...	dekare	5	618	Oct 6, 2008 by DD
	How to get my life together again? :) (Preview) I wrote a really long post, but basically it's this. I want to move out of the house, where I'm currently living with my parents & younger sister.. There's just too many of us in the house, & conflicts keep arising... (None of them is alcoholics, but there are/have been alcoholic relatives, ...	learning76	4	584	Oct 6, 2008 by learning76
	devastated (Preview) Hi...First time on. Tonight was the kick in the butt to finally ask for some help. I picked him up from detox yesterday. He spent the night here ( we seperated 2 mths a go), told me he loves me so much, cannot live w/out me blah blah blah. I brought him home today so he could clean his urine/ empty bottle fille...	soconfused	5	681	Oct 6, 2008 by maresie
	CREATING BALANCE WITHIN OURSELVES (Preview) PAGE 102 * new book on discovering choices * Those of us who have lived with the effects of alcoholism can become obsessed with the behavior of others. We spend time analyzing behavior, figuring out motives , and identifying what we deem is wrong with the people in our lives. In Al-Anon we learn that e...	abbyal	7	1169	Oct 6, 2008 by ThisIsBlythe
	What Has Al-Anon Done For You? (Preview) (To the MIP family) For those that would like I thought it would be a good idea to share your story, the before and after of Al-Anon becoming a part of your life. Where you were. Where you are. What the program has done for you. It could be good for newbies or guests whose life is or has been affected by...	RLC	9	771	Oct 6, 2008 by RLC
	It was a good weekend (Preview) I'm finally able to post something positive. My daughther and I had a great weekend. Got stuff to redecorate her bathroom (in pink, I know the A will hate it but I don't care), went out to eat, then went to the auction. I know my hp directed me to the auction. I happend to win the bid on a rug and I had been loo...	buick23	6	471	Oct 5, 2008 by wp
	Again feeling your pains!! (Preview) geez A' are a pain in the patooty. shaking head. Still could in no way do what a lot of you go thru. Since i did not have to be in a vehicle with the A I talk about, I hired him to do work around here. He really did well as far as he got, I paid him well. Sadly it was me staying away from him as he worked. If I was there...	debilyn	2	546	Oct 5, 2008 by nmike
	answers, that bring more questions (Preview) my A-ex-boyfriend had emergency surgery on his spine (the first surgery went wrong) and he asked if he could come stay with me, would i help him with dressing changes and other little things. i said yes, as long as he didn't bring his way of taking out his anger on me back with him. so far so good, he's gotte...	sadako	3	586	Oct 5, 2008 by nmike
	Feeling Mean (Preview) I have not seen my AGF since last Sun. She has been on a 'bender'. We did not speak all week as I felt like I needed some space. We have been in text contact. She reckoned that she was dry since thursday. Today she drove 16 miles to my house whilst I was at work to 'see me' but left before I got back. As it turned ou...	Brizzle Gal	5	598	Oct 5, 2008 by Brizzle Gal
	An update...yay! (Preview) Hi everyone! I am officailly moved back in with my husband! I am very happy about it, too! It was tough but I got in done in time! Stress was & still is there but I am getting through. Also, my AH ended up in the hospital because of diabetes. He almost died but got to the ER in time. His Blood Sugar was o...	Hoot Nanny	2	519	Oct 5, 2008 by debilyn
	trying to remember to be thankful (Preview) It has been a year since my ex A BF left...and as I have mentioned we recently had a chance to talk and heal a bit. He has been sober nearly 2 years now...that is my history here of becoming "sober" from my own old patterns,too. It has brought so much up for me though.....I remember the pain and...	Fifi	2	500	Oct 5, 2008 by debilyn
	My Confession (Preview) Dear Family, I think I told you that I have been in real trouble since 1 September when I had my fall. During the last three days I have had so many friends visiting me and have been tracing back over the last month or so. Now I can confess. The drugs that the doctors at the hospital had insisted that I take ha...	Suzannah	5	575	Oct 5, 2008 by debilyn
	For all of you.... (Preview) (((((family))))) As I am writing, I am smiling. A real, true smile. A smile of contentment, a smile of satisfaction, a smile of proof that miracles really DO happen if we truly seek them. I havent posted for a while as I have been so busy taking care of me. This is something that was new to me, but has now...	liljeannie	4	620	Oct 5, 2008 by Suzannah
	An old friend (Preview) I am struggling trying to find an old friend that I met in kindergarten. I have tried to get ahold of her recently but was unable to. This really gets to me because I considered her my best friend for many years. Anyway, it has been 20 years since I talked to her and I really want to hear from her. I just wan...	Hoot Nanny	2	482	Oct 5, 2008 by Suzannah
	went to first meeting (Preview) I went to my first meeting last night, and it was really good. Close to home and nice and cozy, 7 of us there. I talked for a few minutes, and it was great!!! Just coming to the realization that there are LOTS of people out there going through the same stuff as me and having the same feeling as myself. I have be...	ryanvancouver	4	669	Oct 5, 2008 by Suzannah
	Relationship question (Preview) My husband has been home for 30 days, he was loving and touching,kissing and all of that. since he has been back it is like he does not want to touch me at all...i know about the new relationship thing ..but what about the wife...does it mean that no hugging until he is better..really confused here...	harleywoman	5	656	Oct 4, 2008 by Fifi
	Get those mamograms! (Preview) (((((Family))))), Just my annual, gentle reminder that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. We need to get our mamograms, do our self-exams and in general take good care of ourselves. Men, this means you too. Men can and have gotten breast cancer. A colleague of mine, found a lump, had a mamo...	Karilynn	2	546	Oct 4, 2008 by Lexie
	isolation keeps coming up (Preview) I am very new at this and counting the hours until my first meeting this eve. Going through some of the other posts i have seen a few about isolation. To be more specific, the A i have been involved with has been talking about selling everything he owns and just taking off. He hates his job (liked it last wee...	ryanvancouver	10	627	Oct 4, 2008 by glad lee
	New here...husband has a drinking problem...what to do? (Preview) Ok, I'll try and summarize my story. I've been married almost 33 years. We have 3 grown children not living at home. I discovered a year ago that my husband was hiding and drinking hard liquor. After being confronted, he vowed to try and stop on his own. Well, you probably know how that went. He seems to ha...	MsSue	9	3611	Oct 4, 2008 by MsSue
	shop now and avoid the rush (Preview) Hi fellow Alanons, Wow, this coming Friday is my 1 year anniversary in Alanon. Thank you all so much for your wonderful support and unconditional love. I look forward to continued recovery with all of you as we work our amazing program. Best - always, Paul	norwood	6	660	Oct 4, 2008 by aunitedway
	brand new to all this, any advice? (Preview) hey there. My doctor has been suggesting al-anon to me for years but i haven't gone. What can i expect? My relationship is pretty much done, i have had enough of my partners constant drinking, anger, etc...i find that the more of a jerk he is, the more i jump through hoops to make him happy. needless to say...	ryanvancouver	8	664	Oct 4, 2008 by Karilynn
	it just doesn't seem to get any better (Preview) I'm at the point where I just want to end the relationship (if that's even what I can call it). Yesterday, I mentioned something that needed to be done and he made an argument out of it. It doesn't matter anymore if I argue back, or nicely state my opinion on matters, or say nothing. The last thing he yelled...	buick23	5	713	Oct 3, 2008 by buick23
	advice needed help me get back to detachment. (Preview) As you all know I live in a place that is incredibly dysfunctional. The other night I came home to find some woman rifling through the back yard (where I have my plants and other stuff). Her son had lived in the house and she was looking for something there god knows what he lived upstairs. I was absolutel...	maresie	9	547	Oct 3, 2008 by java
	stay positive (Preview) I have a very dear friend who is battling multiple cancers in her body. She has such a positive outlook on her life and her situation, and is an inspiration to me and everyone who knows her. When I get down about my situation with my Ah and worry about paying bills and everything else I tend to worry about I t...	suzip	3	581	Oct 3, 2008 by maresie
	Just some questions.... responses greatly appreciated (Preview) I have questions that may sound silly but I am curious and when I'm curious, I ask! If an individual that is employed is an alcoholic, gets sent to detox then to rehab are they entitled to disability benefits? Are they entitled to resume their employment position when the get out of rehab? What if t...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	6	629	Oct 3, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	New....feeling very alone. (Preview) Hi guys, My boyfriend went to his first AA meeting a week ago...has stayed sober since (the longest time since we've been together). I'm very proud of him and I've been to a few meetings with him as well as a few Al anon for myself. All of a sudden though....I feel more alone than ever. He has a lot of A ten...	reef999	10	773	Oct 3, 2008 by ryanvancouver
	challenging day .. and it's only 8:30am (Preview) Getting from the bed to my desk this morning was probably like most other mornings. I just notice some morning "rituals" more on some days - like today. You start it out waiting your turn for the bathroom because you only have one and the two teenagers living in your home have decided the ne...	nalani	0	469	Oct 3, 2008 by nalani
	something in me (Preview) something in me feels like it is dying this is scarey it has happended to me before. this is the part in my program where i always turn back. higher power has brought this issue [defect] to my attention more than once. when i pray for wisdom and higher power brings something to my attention, by way of mor...	jewely	3	600	Oct 3, 2008 by jewely
	I feel like a stupid idiot!!!!!! When will I learn!!!!! (Preview) I am such a stupid idiot!!!! My sister just pointed out something to me that I know see clearly and I fell for it again. I told my sister that I texted my ex telling him that I thought he did a good thing by calling someone in his AA group. This was after the fact I told him he doesn't have to pay me back becaus...	mslouise	9	776	Oct 3, 2008 by mslouise
	Off this planet and back to earth with a crash... (Preview) Dear Family and Debilyn, so sorry I have been absent...but that fall I had on 1 September took me into hospital and I have not been well since. What with the medication that sent me on the weirdiest voyage into the unknown depths of stupor and feeling so spaced out that I thought I had been sent to Mars; I h...	Suzannah	3	637	Oct 2, 2008 by maresie
	So many emotions (Preview) If you raed my last post, you know that I replied to my "BF" in what I thought was a cold reaction to his apology for being drunk on Sunday night after being sober for three weeks. Well, it's true what many say--the A will always return! He called today to see if he could pick some stuff up at the...	hopeful123	6	531	Oct 2, 2008 by hopeful123
	Part 2 - will I ever sleep again (Preview) Thank you for your response to my last post. I was more than please to see that I was viewed as working the program. Surprised, actually. Yay, for me. Gonna work on getting some ambien. It continues... The fear that I have been harboring, second only to the bookkeeper being fired, is my AH's g/f becom...	Loupiness	6	584	Oct 2, 2008 by Loupiness
	when does the anger and suspicion start to fade????? (Preview) I need some help guys. I am really trying to focus on me and my newfound program and have attended 2 f2f mtgs and have started reading many of the recommended books. HOWEVER, it seems the littlest things set me off and I end up ranting and becoming furious with my ASoberBF. I just don't have any trust anymo...	masspedirn	12	838	Oct 2, 2008 by masspedirn
	Rollecoaster ride starts again (Preview) Here I am again, thinking about my sober A husband. About a month ago he started doubting his program, hating the world, wanting to run away again. For about a week I lived with this knot in my stomach, again. I was not sleeping, again. I was watching every little thing he did, again. We got past it. He call...	MBJ	7	706	Oct 2, 2008 by joyoma
	How do you ever get over these issues? (Preview) I know that I need to focus on me and detach from my A hubby, but here is the thing, I have a strong suspicion that he cheated on me. I dont want to say I can deal with the drinking part, knowing that darn well I cant, but I can deal with that better than I can sitting here thinking he cheated on me. How am I ever goi...	princessloretta	9	629	Oct 2, 2008 by princessloretta
	Just need to vent.. (Preview) Hey everyone, I feel like Im making steps in the right direction, those of you who know me will know its a step, I had little to no real boundaries until about a week ago when I grew stronger from being here, knowing the A typical behavior of an A and that i'm not alone really made me want to start trying for a...	Erica	6	545	Oct 2, 2008 by Erica
	What to do ?? (Preview) Dear ((All)) My Abf who is not wanting contact from me?? whilst he is in rehab, called last night. It was bad news, he was on a days outing with his rehab and he had an accident, he broke his leg. He was calling me from the hospital, and was just out of surgery. It's a pretty nasty injury and things are going t...	Mariner	4	657	Oct 2, 2008 by Jerry F
	I find myself... (Preview) After more than two years of being single - still hesitant to do what it takes to get involved in another relationship. I talk to various guys, then when it comes time to meet I only meet the ones I know already that I don't like. If there's a chance I MAY like them, I hmmmm and hawwww until the opportunit...	carolinagirl	3	451	Oct 2, 2008 by maresie
	Taking other people's inventory vs. telling the truth (Preview) I was over a friend's house who is in the program and he showed me a birthday card from his daughter. She had written in the card that she will always be there for him. I felt sick to my stomach when I read that sentence. I wound up lying and saying that it was a nice card, then couldn't figure out if I should hav...	kissers	13	8767	Oct 2, 2008 by learning76
	most paths are dead ends! (Preview) Need some translation of A behaviour here. Returned from an al anon wkend retreat and pockets filled with hugs, approval, appreciation, laughter, reflection, a ha moments etc so the transition to home can be a tough reality, I know. I was trying ........ A is trying to be so nice, make supper, cons...	ddub	4	900	Oct 2, 2008 by learning76
	will I ever sleep again? (Preview) Hi Friends, I am just a bundle of nerves. I want to disappear. Spoke with my sponsor, a friend, and read some literature, and I can't stop crying. The fear overwhelms me. I know all the slogans, that faith needs to replace fear, odat, lean on God, but I just feel so alone. Can't make the connection. N...	Loupiness	6	747	Oct 2, 2008 by learning76
	Did I react wrong? (Preview) I found this site last night and I am very grateful for it. My A boyfriend of 2 years and I "broke up" almost two months ago. We own a house together, but he moved out and has since been living with his A friend. I have had several emotions about all of this. Obviously hurt, bc I love him and I feel li...	hopeful123	13	698	Oct 2, 2008 by learning76
	Alcoholic Parent (Preview) Hi, I am new to this and am looking for advise. My mother has been an alcoholic for the past 15 years, approximatly. Every time we've confronted her in the past she would deny the problem. She has FINALLY admitted she had a problem and begun her path to sobriety. We are so proud of her for taking this...	Want to help	4	676	Oct 2, 2008 by learning76
	last time (Preview) So I talked to my ex this morning because I had to find out about the bank account and if he received his unemployment check or not so I could close the account and be done with it. He also owes me money. I called him and he said he got his check in the mail and thought the account had been closed already (he k...	mslouise	5	509	Oct 2, 2008 by mslouise
	Suannah? (Preview) Where are you over there across the pond? Whatcha doing? Is it fall there now? hugs,debilyn	debilyn	0	370	Oct 1, 2008 by debilyn
	i semi did it... (Preview) Well I did it, semi did it that is, I called the number for Al-Anon and the girl there suggested that I contact some people in the area for the meeting times, and she gave me 3 phone numbers, I called all of them and this really nice lady, called me back, OMG she was awesome.. If everyone is this great at meeti...	princessloretta	3	539	Oct 1, 2008 by debilyn
	talked to some AA members last night (Preview) This thinking about my exbf is driving me crazy. I don't sleep well, wake up with thoughts of him. I wish I could just shut my mind off. I have been doing ok. Still cry, but I also keep busy. I have signed up for an exercise class 2x week and have been doing other things to get out and about. I have also b...	mslouise	7	858	Oct 1, 2008 by nmike
	hurricane hits KY (Preview) We've had many tornadoes hit Kentucky, but this week we were hit by Hurricane IKE. Sunday morning we had 30 to 50 MPH sustained winds for about 4 hours. There were gusts of 70 MPH. We had no rain and it was fairly sunny...jsut wind. It blew off roofs, blew down thousands of trees and powerlines. We had no e...	afglin	6	464	Oct 1, 2008 by Sincerely
	This is long.... sorry (Preview) Just to forewarn you, this is long My ex A b/f has been home from rehab for a week and I havent spoken with him. Yes hes called, left messages, but I havent taken his calls. This is big for me. Really big and I am proud of myself for sticking to my guns. My curiosity is still here as far as how he is doing, ho...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	12	685	Oct 1, 2008 by kitty
	feeling very hurt today (Preview) From the posts i have posted in the past two days, you all know my husband went off on a binge and well things are just not good with me now.. I took my wedding ring off, i cant wear it anymore, it is a symbol of love and there is none there right now, and he obviously doesnt treat me like an equal, his wife, so why...	princessloretta	9	911	Oct 1, 2008 by maresie
	asober is really irritating me (Preview) Well as some of you read, we got into an argument Friday. Well same again yesterday after he came back home. He kept telling me that he didn't like this, he didn't like that. Icecream I bought wasn't the kind HE wanted, not much later he ate some of it. Then he tells me I don't ever buy any food that he likes to...	buick23	8	612	Oct 1, 2008 by buick23
	Alcohol Abuse or Alcoholism... (Preview) and does it matter? I'm new here and feeling confused, sad and hopeless. I'm married to a hard-working, funny, caring man who also happens to be an amazing father. We have one child, she's almost one. We've been together 10 years, married for about 2 and 1/2. For quite some time now alcohol has b...	Searching2008	6	659	Oct 1, 2008 by RLC
	it sure is amazing ... (Preview) ... what you can find out about yourself once you've started a program like this. My story with my qualifier isn't much different from anyone else's - he drank, I nagged, he drank more, I left, he followed, I returned ... you get the picture ... and my friends and family think I'm nuts and "deserv...	nalani	5	819	Sep 30, 2008 by ddub
	The first day of the rest of my life... (Preview) ... I am so excited about it. It has been said a lot to me of late that I have changed. However, yesterday, whilst I was out with my friend it hit home like it had not done before. I am no longer 'the victim', I am ME. The person I really want to be. I am no longer trying to be the person everyone else wants me to...	Suzannah	5	585	Sep 30, 2008 by Sincerely
	arguments and opinions (Preview) Well my abfsober and I had an argument today. My friend who is staying at my ex's house with her family called me today and said that my daughter had asked her to call me to ask me if I could come by and bring her something she really needed. My daughter is at her dads this week. So I told my bf I was going to bring...	buick23	3	597	Sep 30, 2008 by Sincerely
	Understand. (Preview) Any and every relationship, whether it is with your spouse, your client, your employer, or the tech support person on the other end of the phone, is greatly enhanced by understanding. Make the effort to sincerely understand and to be clearly understood. Too often we allow assumptions to take the pla...	Sincerely	3	570	Sep 30, 2008 by Sincerely
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.