Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

masspedirn · masspedirn

I need some help guys. I am really trying to focus on me and my newfound program and have attended 2 f2f mtgs and have started reading many of the recommended books. HOWEVER, it seems the littlest things set me off and I end up ranting and becoming furious with my ASoberBF. I just don't have any trust anymo...

MBJ · MBJ

Here I am again, thinking about my sober A husband. About a month ago he started doubting his program, hating the world, wanting to run away again. For about a week I lived with this knot in my stomach, again. I was not sleeping, again. I was watching every little thing he did, again. We got past it. He call...

princessloretta · princessloretta

I know that I need to focus on me and detach from my A hubby, but here is the thing, I have a strong suspicion that he cheated on me. I dont want to say I can deal with the drinking part, knowing that darn well I cant, but I can deal with that better than I can sitting here thinking he cheated on me. How am I ever goi...

Erica · Erica

Hey everyone, I feel like Im making steps in the right direction, those of you who know me will know its a step, I had little to no real boundaries until about a week ago when I grew stronger from being here, knowing the A typical behavior of an A and that i'm not alone really made me want to start trying for a...

Mariner · Mariner

Dear ((All)) My Abf who is not wanting contact from me?? whilst he is in rehab, called last night. It was bad news, he was on a days outing with his rehab and he had an accident, he broke his leg. He was calling me from the hospital, and was just out of surgery. It's a pretty nasty injury and things are going t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

After more than two years of being single - still hesitant to do what it takes to get involved in another relationship. I talk to various guys, then when it comes time to meet I only meet the ones I know already that I don't like. If there's a chance I MAY like them, I hmmmm and hawwww until the opportunit...

kissers · kissers

I was over a friend's house who is in the program and he showed me a birthday card from his daughter. She had written in the card that she will always be there for him. I felt sick to my stomach when I read that sentence. I wound up lying and saying that it was a nice card, then couldn't figure out if I should hav...

ddub · ddub

Need some translation of A behaviour here. Returned from an al anon wkend retreat and pockets filled with hugs, approval, appreciation, laughter, reflection, a ha moments etc so the transition to home can be a tough reality, I know. I was trying ........ A is trying to be so nice, make supper, cons...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, I am just a bundle of nerves. I want to disappear. Spoke with my sponsor, a friend, and read some literature, and I can't stop crying. The fear overwhelms me. I know all the slogans, that faith needs to replace fear, odat, lean on God, but I just feel so alone. Can't make the connection. N...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

I found this site last night and I am very grateful for it. My A boyfriend of 2 years and I "broke up" almost two months ago. We own a house together, but he moved out and has since been living with his A friend. I have had several emotions about all of this. Obviously hurt, bc I love him and I feel li...

Want to help · Want to help

Hi, I am new to this and am looking for advise. My mother has been an alcoholic for the past 15 years, approximatly. Every time we've confronted her in the past she would deny the problem. She has FINALLY admitted she had a problem and begun her path to sobriety. We are so proud of her for taking this...

mslouise · mslouise

So I talked to my ex this morning because I had to find out about the bank account and if he received his unemployment check or not so I could close the account and be done with it. He also owes me money. I called him and he said he got his check in the mail and thought the account had been closed already (he k...

debilyn · debilyn

Where are you over there across the pond? Whatcha doing? Is it fall there now? hugs,debilyn

princessloretta · princessloretta

Well I did it, semi did it that is, I called the number for Al-Anon and the girl there suggested that I contact some people in the area for the meeting times, and she gave me 3 phone numbers, I called all of them and this really nice lady, called me back, OMG she was awesome.. If everyone is this great at meeti...

talked to some AA members last night · mslouise

This thinking about my exbf is driving me crazy. I don't sleep well, wake up with thoughts of him. I wish I could just shut my mind off. I have been doing ok. Still cry, but I also keep busy. I have signed up for an exercise class 2x week and have been doing other things to get out and about. I have also b...

afglin · afglin

We've had many tornadoes hit Kentucky, but this week we were hit by Hurricane IKE. Sunday morning we had 30 to 50 MPH sustained winds for about 4 hours. There were gusts of 70 MPH. We had no rain and it was fairly sunny...jsut wind. It blew off roofs, blew down thousands of trees and powerlines. We had no e...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Just to forewarn you, this is long My ex A b/f has been home from rehab for a week and I havent spoken with him. Yes hes called, left messages, but I havent taken his calls. This is big for me. Really big and I am proud of myself for sticking to my guns. My curiosity is still here as far as how he is doing, ho...

princessloretta · princessloretta

From the posts i have posted in the past two days, you all know my husband went off on a binge and well things are just not good with me now.. I took my wedding ring off, i cant wear it anymore, it is a symbol of love and there is none there right now, and he obviously doesnt treat me like an equal, his wife, so why...

buick23 · buick23

Well as some of you read, we got into an argument Friday. Well same again yesterday after he came back home. He kept telling me that he didn't like this, he didn't like that. Icecream I bought wasn't the kind HE wanted, not much later he ate some of it. Then he tells me I don't ever buy any food that he likes to...

Searching2008 · Searching2008

and does it matter? I'm new here and feeling confused, sad and hopeless. I'm married to a hard-working, funny, caring man who also happens to be an amazing father. We have one child, she's almost one. We've been together 10 years, married for about 2 and 1/2. For quite some time now alcohol has b...

nalani · nalani

... what you can find out about yourself once you've started a program like this. My story with my qualifier isn't much different from anyone else's - he drank, I nagged, he drank more, I left, he followed, I returned ... you get the picture ... and my friends and family think I'm nuts and "deserv...

Suzannah · Suzannah

... I am so excited about it. It has been said a lot to me of late that I have changed. However, yesterday, whilst I was out with my friend it hit home like it had not done before. I am no longer 'the victim', I am ME. The person I really want to be. I am no longer trying to be the person everyone else wants me to...

buick23 · buick23

Well my abfsober and I had an argument today. My friend who is staying at my ex's house with her family called me today and said that my daughter had asked her to call me to ask me if I could come by and bring her something she really needed. My daughter is at her dads this week. So I told my bf I was going to bring...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Any and every relationship, whether it is with your spouse, your client, your employer, or the tech support person on the other end of the phone, is greatly enhanced by understanding. Make the effort to sincerely understand and to be clearly understood. Too often we allow assumptions to take the pla...

princessloretta · princessloretta

I posted yesterday about my husband and him going off on a drinking binge. Well I just dont know how or what to feel, I am feeling really empty inside. He just woke up from sleeping all day and is kind of acting like everything is " normal " , how is that. How can they go about their day like they did...

madmom · madmom

Hello all I'm a new poster and like many of you I feel like I'm in hell. I got married 13 weeks ago. About a month ago I unsuccessfully confronted my ah with my recognition of his problem. I offered to be supportive. My words (of course) fell on deaf ears. So, now, I'm preparing to confront my husband in w...

princessloretta · princessloretta

Well well I should have known it would not have lasted, my husband of five years, is an alcoholic and well stopped drinking again and then just a few weeks ago, with football season starting up, said he thinks he can handle one or two beers, uh ya rite, if that was the case he would not have ever needed to hav...

maresie · maresie

Just an update I am still very very much on survival. I eke out a living. I am not yet able to pay back my creditors. I have done a lot of work on my tiny tiny room. I have another couple of weeks work to make it better. Due to the size of the space, I have to take most of my stuff to storage so summer and winter I h...

glad · glad

Since A BF moved out I have had more success with my work and better times with my daughters and really enjoyed doing things for me. I know HP will direct my path. When I find myself obsessing or rolling things around in my head I ask myself if this is how my HP wants me to spend my time and energy. Then I am more...

Sincerely · Sincerely

I swear! Today I am my own worse enemy! What will it take to make me happy? I don't even know anymore. For so many years my AHubby was drunk and I wasn't happy. He is sober today and has been for a while but I am still not happy. He is gone 1/2 of the year from home. I have my little routine when he is gone a...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have to correct myself in one of my responses to a post I read earlier this week. I mentioned something that was totally the wrong word. I did not mean that my AH went on a rampange at any time. He went off on a bender & ended up almost losing his life because he didn't eat much & drank quite a bit. I...

AlJay1721 · AlJay1721

Sometimes it is hard to know where to begin..... I lost my first husband, my soulmate....in 2001. He was chronically ill for more than 25 yrs.He was a wonderful husband and father of 4 children. After his sudden death, I was in shock for many months. While I too am chronically ill,the thought of so...

puzzle · puzzle

....and it is good to read again.....and now post. It has been a tough road. Starting to really focus on me and know I must leave when all is together (many things to pull together in order to stay away when I go). This time when I say I am leaving, I will be able to go through with it and start living for me. I'v...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi Guys I'm confused and need some insight into my situation. As I've said in my previous posts my Abf has recently gone into rehab, he was advised about being in a new relationship whilst newly clean and sober, this caused us great anxiety and we had spoken about it in depth. It's been an upsetting time,...

jewely · jewely

just for today, maybe even just for the moment, i feel sad. the incident with my niece this week brought to mind another loved one. a young nephew, aged 20 or there abouts. he disappeared a few years ago. his pickup truck was found near the big city bridge. it is believed he commitied suicide by jumping in...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

As part of my recovery I have been working on loving myself and not feeling ashamed of myself. I have a disorder called trichotillomania, trich for short. I pull out my eyelashes until I have none left. Some people with this disorder pull from their scalp as well but I am a lash puller. I feel like this is a...

Gared · Gared

It's been three months since the ex left and he took his bottle of Capt Morgan and one of the dogs. I made things really easy for him. I pretty much wrote off the debt he owes me and made it easy for him to get an apt by giving him a good reference. I was nice even though there was a big knife stuck in my back. Af...

Mariner · Mariner

The other day I felt really peaceful and strong, I visualised giving my Abf a kiss on the cheek and handing him over to the care of God. This really worked for me and I felt good, everytime I started stressing I repeated this image in my mind. Great progress for me. Then yesterday evening whilst I was in w...

joyoma · joyoma

Following last week's surgery I am struggling harder this time to recuperate. I think two procedures of this nature so close together makes it harder to bounce back. Needless to say, when you don't feel up to par physically, it makes anything else nearly impossible to handle. After weeks of sobrie...

MARGINALISED · MARGINALISED

This is my first posting although I have been reading through all your posts for a few weeks and they have helped me so much already. I am in so much pain at the moment.... I just dont understand or know what to do. My story is long, very sad and of course very similar to most others except I was living with...

RLC · RLC

This is a poem I have read to start my day for twenty years. It reminds me that everyday is important. I hope you enjoy it and maybe it can make a difference for you as it has for me. Author unknown. This is the beginning of a new day. God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it or use it for good. W...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I thought I was being discreet about latest frustration when my 11 year old daughter says "I'm sick of you playing the abused, unhappily married woman. It's getting old. If you're going to get a divorce, do it already." agh! I can't help it! I know she's not alone, when friend's of mine hear...

suzyb · suzyb

I talked to our son last night and asked him how he was doing. His reply was an angry " Don't sound so worried". He still seems like such an angry young man. I don't understand, if he would talk more maybe then he wouldn't be so angry. Should I just leave it and let it go? -- Edited by suzyb at 10...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Just reading some recent posts about fears/concerns about crying at F2F meetings, worried that once the tears flow, they will never stop, etc..... Brought me back to similar feelings - mostly pride/arrogance/gender based - where I thought "men don't cry, or at least not in public".......

suzip · suzip

You know when you have kids you always worry about them asking you certain questions about things that you'd really not like to share...about when was the first time you....had a drink, smoked pot , or whatever. I don't think you can ever be ready for these questions when they are asked! It is hard to te...

Fifi · Fifi

Hello after a long time, As I have re-connected with my ex A, of course I feel the need to re-connect here. This was my live in BF for almost 2 years...I saw him through his worse, his break down, his detox, rehab and early recovery. He was there with me as I sank into his hell and my own....saw me through b...

nmike · nmike

lol Like a teenager calling when she is going to be late. Well, you are my parents in alot of ways. When I need ESH I come here or go to meetings. Didn't get the job and that is ok. I will keep looking and practicing. Keep all options open. My son in the military was discharged Sept. 4. Seven long years. He call...

mslouise · mslouise

I have acceptance today. I am still devasted at my loss of my bf. I know that there will be times that I will break down and cry uncontrollably. But this time I am noticing is different. The last time he left (last yr hunting season) I was just sad, very angry, depressed, couldn't get past it..did dist...

mimidtw · mimidtw

Went to my first Alanon meeting on Tuesday night. It was amazing how much comfort and love I felt from everyone. But I couldn't even open my mouth because the tears wouldn't stop flowing. They of course assured me that they were all like this when they first started coming. Please tell me this is true bec...

glow · glow

Hi all - I'm new to the Alanon idea...haven't been to a meeting (yet)... My brother is my A. He's just recently discovered his alcoholism and is (was?) working hard at recovery. He joined an inpatient program for 2 weeks and has been out for a few months. The inpatient treatment was partially becaus...

mslouise · mslouise

I am kinda scared today. I feel so alone. I am going to go to my first church dinner tonight. My sister was supposed to come with me and my son, but she is sick. So I will be going alone with my son. I could easily say, oh well, won't go. But I can't do that. I made a promise to myself and to my exbf that I was...

charlescharles · charlescharles

just thinking here...don't like my relationship the way it is even though she is not drinking and she is getting her life together i feel like i am giving up my life right now to a relationship that i am not 100 percent in...and beginning a job tomorrow which i am barely even interested in i would rather sc...

ddub · ddub

.........action! I get too concerned about those I love I want to help them and protect them Check resources and support them I think of them instead of sleep I have learned this does not help others nor me I believe others are capable to do for themselves I need to take care of my self and sleep It is a habi...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I was thinking about my daughter (just turned 14 last weekend) and I know I have posted many times about how I see her exhibit A behavior - nothing is ever her fault, lying, always right, never knows when to stop or enough is enough, manipulating, etc. Which could also just be immature behavior in ge...

Diva · Diva

"Diva, are you moving to Hawaii?" Well, kiddies, the answer is no. Not full-time. It is truly paradise. I loved Maui best. But I know that I would get "island fever." There isn't much to do, and not far to go. So I will visit when the mood hits me, but remain domiciled here in b...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well Monday came and went and my wish for a normal day without the stress from my ex A B/F just didnt happen . As you may recall, my ex A b/f was returning home Monday from his rehab out in California. (4 ½ months early) You may also recall that his mom asked me to pick him up from the airport. I told her I coul...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

time for amends. time to clean up my side of the street....AGAIN. I have been dating quite a bit. I suddenly realize that I have been dating as an attempt to erase my soon to be ex A husband. I have been using these men to try to forget about my ex A. Not working, of course. I am not proud of this. I need to ju...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

hey... I've been thinking about the reactions that are instinctive in me. I am trying to change them but something is telling me that I need to think about where these reactions are coming from. That part is sorta easy. I often felt invisible when I was a child cause the focus was on the chaos caused by m...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear all, Went for the interview yesterday, staying in a lovely hotel monday night, thats the good part, the interview was long, strenuous and I did not do great but I did my best, there was a meeting about my other job yesterday and apparently there is a lot to pick through! whatever that means, I have no...

mslouise · mslouise

Our meeting tonight was about changes. When it came my turn to talk, I was surprised at how I felt about this. I said even though I am devasted and miss the bf that I knew and loved more than anything, I don't miss the disease that has him now. And that surpisingly, I am welcoming the changes of the future...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	when does the anger and suspicion start to fade????? (Preview) I need some help guys. I am really trying to focus on me and my newfound program and have attended 2 f2f mtgs and have started reading many of the recommended books. HOWEVER, it seems the littlest things set me off and I end up ranting and becoming furious with my ASoberBF. I just don't have any trust anymo...	masspedirn	12	748	Oct 2, 2008 by masspedirn
	Rollecoaster ride starts again (Preview) Here I am again, thinking about my sober A husband. About a month ago he started doubting his program, hating the world, wanting to run away again. For about a week I lived with this knot in my stomach, again. I was not sleeping, again. I was watching every little thing he did, again. We got past it. He call...	MBJ	7	613	Oct 2, 2008 by joyoma
	How do you ever get over these issues? (Preview) I know that I need to focus on me and detach from my A hubby, but here is the thing, I have a strong suspicion that he cheated on me. I dont want to say I can deal with the drinking part, knowing that darn well I cant, but I can deal with that better than I can sitting here thinking he cheated on me. How am I ever goi...	princessloretta	9	529	Oct 2, 2008 by princessloretta
	Just need to vent.. (Preview) Hey everyone, I feel like Im making steps in the right direction, those of you who know me will know its a step, I had little to no real boundaries until about a week ago when I grew stronger from being here, knowing the A typical behavior of an A and that i'm not alone really made me want to start trying for a...	Erica	6	459	Oct 2, 2008 by Erica
	What to do ?? (Preview) Dear ((All)) My Abf who is not wanting contact from me?? whilst he is in rehab, called last night. It was bad news, he was on a days outing with his rehab and he had an accident, he broke his leg. He was calling me from the hospital, and was just out of surgery. It's a pretty nasty injury and things are going t...	Mariner	4	548	Oct 2, 2008 by Jerry F
	I find myself... (Preview) After more than two years of being single - still hesitant to do what it takes to get involved in another relationship. I talk to various guys, then when it comes time to meet I only meet the ones I know already that I don't like. If there's a chance I MAY like them, I hmmmm and hawwww until the opportunit...	carolinagirl	3	365	Oct 2, 2008 by maresie
	Taking other people's inventory vs. telling the truth (Preview) I was over a friend's house who is in the program and he showed me a birthday card from his daughter. She had written in the card that she will always be there for him. I felt sick to my stomach when I read that sentence. I wound up lying and saying that it was a nice card, then couldn't figure out if I should hav...	kissers	13	8314	Oct 2, 2008 by learning76
	most paths are dead ends! (Preview) Need some translation of A behaviour here. Returned from an al anon wkend retreat and pockets filled with hugs, approval, appreciation, laughter, reflection, a ha moments etc so the transition to home can be a tough reality, I know. I was trying ........ A is trying to be so nice, make supper, cons...	ddub	4	813	Oct 2, 2008 by learning76
	will I ever sleep again? (Preview) Hi Friends, I am just a bundle of nerves. I want to disappear. Spoke with my sponsor, a friend, and read some literature, and I can't stop crying. The fear overwhelms me. I know all the slogans, that faith needs to replace fear, odat, lean on God, but I just feel so alone. Can't make the connection. N...	Loupiness	6	658	Oct 2, 2008 by learning76
	Did I react wrong? (Preview) I found this site last night and I am very grateful for it. My A boyfriend of 2 years and I "broke up" almost two months ago. We own a house together, but he moved out and has since been living with his A friend. I have had several emotions about all of this. Obviously hurt, bc I love him and I feel li...	hopeful123	13	602	Oct 2, 2008 by learning76
	Alcoholic Parent (Preview) Hi, I am new to this and am looking for advise. My mother has been an alcoholic for the past 15 years, approximatly. Every time we've confronted her in the past she would deny the problem. She has FINALLY admitted she had a problem and begun her path to sobriety. We are so proud of her for taking this...	Want to help	4	588	Oct 2, 2008 by learning76
	last time (Preview) So I talked to my ex this morning because I had to find out about the bank account and if he received his unemployment check or not so I could close the account and be done with it. He also owes me money. I called him and he said he got his check in the mail and thought the account had been closed already (he k...	mslouise	5	420	Oct 2, 2008 by mslouise
	Suannah? (Preview) Where are you over there across the pond? Whatcha doing? Is it fall there now? hugs,debilyn	debilyn	0	276	Oct 1, 2008 by debilyn
	i semi did it... (Preview) Well I did it, semi did it that is, I called the number for Al-Anon and the girl there suggested that I contact some people in the area for the meeting times, and she gave me 3 phone numbers, I called all of them and this really nice lady, called me back, OMG she was awesome.. If everyone is this great at meeti...	princessloretta	3	450	Oct 1, 2008 by debilyn
	talked to some AA members last night (Preview) This thinking about my exbf is driving me crazy. I don't sleep well, wake up with thoughts of him. I wish I could just shut my mind off. I have been doing ok. Still cry, but I also keep busy. I have signed up for an exercise class 2x week and have been doing other things to get out and about. I have also b...	mslouise	7	770	Oct 1, 2008 by nmike
	hurricane hits KY (Preview) We've had many tornadoes hit Kentucky, but this week we were hit by Hurricane IKE. Sunday morning we had 30 to 50 MPH sustained winds for about 4 hours. There were gusts of 70 MPH. We had no rain and it was fairly sunny...jsut wind. It blew off roofs, blew down thousands of trees and powerlines. We had no e...	afglin	6	383	Oct 1, 2008 by Sincerely
	This is long.... sorry (Preview) Just to forewarn you, this is long My ex A b/f has been home from rehab for a week and I havent spoken with him. Yes hes called, left messages, but I havent taken his calls. This is big for me. Really big and I am proud of myself for sticking to my guns. My curiosity is still here as far as how he is doing, ho...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	12	601	Oct 1, 2008 by kitty
	feeling very hurt today (Preview) From the posts i have posted in the past two days, you all know my husband went off on a binge and well things are just not good with me now.. I took my wedding ring off, i cant wear it anymore, it is a symbol of love and there is none there right now, and he obviously doesnt treat me like an equal, his wife, so why...	princessloretta	9	817	Oct 1, 2008 by maresie
	asober is really irritating me (Preview) Well as some of you read, we got into an argument Friday. Well same again yesterday after he came back home. He kept telling me that he didn't like this, he didn't like that. Icecream I bought wasn't the kind HE wanted, not much later he ate some of it. Then he tells me I don't ever buy any food that he likes to...	buick23	8	521	Oct 1, 2008 by buick23
	Alcohol Abuse or Alcoholism... (Preview) and does it matter? I'm new here and feeling confused, sad and hopeless. I'm married to a hard-working, funny, caring man who also happens to be an amazing father. We have one child, she's almost one. We've been together 10 years, married for about 2 and 1/2. For quite some time now alcohol has b...	Searching2008	6	574	Oct 1, 2008 by RLC
	it sure is amazing ... (Preview) ... what you can find out about yourself once you've started a program like this. My story with my qualifier isn't much different from anyone else's - he drank, I nagged, he drank more, I left, he followed, I returned ... you get the picture ... and my friends and family think I'm nuts and "deserv...	nalani	5	730	Sep 30, 2008 by ddub
	The first day of the rest of my life... (Preview) ... I am so excited about it. It has been said a lot to me of late that I have changed. However, yesterday, whilst I was out with my friend it hit home like it had not done before. I am no longer 'the victim', I am ME. The person I really want to be. I am no longer trying to be the person everyone else wants me to...	Suzannah	5	502	Sep 30, 2008 by Sincerely
	arguments and opinions (Preview) Well my abfsober and I had an argument today. My friend who is staying at my ex's house with her family called me today and said that my daughter had asked her to call me to ask me if I could come by and bring her something she really needed. My daughter is at her dads this week. So I told my bf I was going to bring...	buick23	3	514	Sep 30, 2008 by Sincerely
	Understand. (Preview) Any and every relationship, whether it is with your spouse, your client, your employer, or the tech support person on the other end of the phone, is greatly enhanced by understanding. Make the effort to sincerely understand and to be clearly understood. Too often we allow assumptions to take the pla...	Sincerely	3	491	Sep 30, 2008 by Sincerely
	follow up to my post yesterday, needing to vent. (Preview) I posted yesterday about my husband and him going off on a drinking binge. Well I just dont know how or what to feel, I am feeling really empty inside. He just woke up from sleeping all day and is kind of acting like everything is " normal " , how is that. How can they go about their day like they did...	princessloretta	6	561	Sep 30, 2008 by Jerry F
	New and preparing to confront (again) (Preview) Hello all I'm a new poster and like many of you I feel like I'm in hell. I got married 13 weeks ago. About a month ago I unsuccessfully confronted my ah with my recognition of his problem. I offered to be supportive. My words (of course) fell on deaf ears. So, now, I'm preparing to confront my husband in w...	madmom	14	781	Sep 30, 2008 by madmom
	Hubby started drinking again.. ugh (Preview) Well well I should have known it would not have lasted, my husband of five years, is an alcoholic and well stopped drinking again and then just a few weeks ago, with football season starting up, said he thinks he can handle one or two beers, uh ya rite, if that was the case he would not have ever needed to hav...	princessloretta	11	2168	Sep 30, 2008 by buick23
	survival on a better level. (Preview) Just an update I am still very very much on survival. I eke out a living. I am not yet able to pay back my creditors. I have done a lot of work on my tiny tiny room. I have another couple of weeks work to make it better. Due to the size of the space, I have to take most of my stuff to storage so summer and winter I h...	maresie	6	483	Sep 30, 2008 by Mariner
	Next right thing (Preview) Since A BF moved out I have had more success with my work and better times with my daughters and really enjoyed doing things for me. I know HP will direct my path. When I find myself obsessing or rolling things around in my head I ask myself if this is how my HP wants me to spend my time and energy. Then I am more...	glad	3	552	Sep 29, 2008 by Maria123
	Is it too much to ask????? (Preview) I swear! Today I am my own worse enemy! What will it take to make me happy? I don't even know anymore. For so many years my AHubby was drunk and I wasn't happy. He is sober today and has been for a while but I am still not happy. He is gone 1/2 of the year from home. I have my little routine when he is gone a...	Sincerely	11	605	Sep 29, 2008 by Sincerely
	Poor choice of words! (Preview) I have to correct myself in one of my responses to a post I read earlier this week. I mentioned something that was totally the wrong word. I did not mean that my AH went on a rampange at any time. He went off on a bender & ended up almost losing his life because he didn't eat much & drank quite a bit. I...	Hoot Nanny	5	448	Sep 29, 2008 by maire rua
	New to this..... (Preview) Sometimes it is hard to know where to begin..... I lost my first husband, my soulmate....in 2001. He was chronically ill for more than 25 yrs.He was a wonderful husband and father of 4 children. After his sudden death, I was in shock for many months. While I too am chronically ill,the thought of so...	AlJay1721	3	485	Sep 29, 2008 by maresie
	It's been a while.... (Preview) ....and it is good to read again.....and now post. It has been a tough road. Starting to really focus on me and know I must leave when all is together (many things to pull together in order to stay away when I go). This time when I say I am leaving, I will be able to go through with it and start living for me. I'v...	puzzle	3	491	Sep 28, 2008 by nmike
	Am I missing something here? (Preview) Hi Guys I'm confused and need some insight into my situation. As I've said in my previous posts my Abf has recently gone into rehab, he was advised about being in a new relationship whilst newly clean and sober, this caused us great anxiety and we had spoken about it in depth. It's been an upsetting time,...	Mariner	4	762	Sep 28, 2008 by glad
	serenity within the sadness (Preview) just for today, maybe even just for the moment, i feel sad. the incident with my niece this week brought to mind another loved one. a young nephew, aged 20 or there abouts. he disappeared a few years ago. his pickup truck was found near the big city bridge. it is believed he commitied suicide by jumping in...	jewely	6	497	Sep 28, 2008 by Peggy7
	Trichotillomania Anyone? (Preview) As part of my recovery I have been working on loving myself and not feeling ashamed of myself. I have a disorder called trichotillomania, trich for short. I pull out my eyelashes until I have none left. Some people with this disorder pull from their scalp as well but I am a lash puller. I feel like this is a...	StargazerLily	7	626	Sep 28, 2008 by M3
	I don't understasnd (Preview) It's been three months since the ex left and he took his bottle of Capt Morgan and one of the dogs. I made things really easy for him. I pretty much wrote off the debt he owes me and made it easy for him to get an apt by giving him a good reference. I was nice even though there was a big knife stuck in my back. Af...	Gared	5	612	Sep 27, 2008 by kitty
	one step forward 10 steps back (Preview) The other day I felt really peaceful and strong, I visualised giving my Abf a kiss on the cheek and handing him over to the care of God. This really worked for me and I felt good, everytime I started stressing I repeated this image in my mind. Great progress for me. Then yesterday evening whilst I was in w...	Mariner	4	712	Sep 27, 2008 by maresie
	struggling (Preview) Following last week's surgery I am struggling harder this time to recuperate. I think two procedures of this nature so close together makes it harder to bounce back. Needless to say, when you don't feel up to par physically, it makes anything else nearly impossible to handle. After weeks of sobrie...	joyoma	6	510	Sep 27, 2008 by Peggy7
	Please help me understand ... new to Alanon (Preview) This is my first posting although I have been reading through all your posts for a few weeks and they have helped me so much already. I am in so much pain at the moment.... I just dont understand or know what to do. My story is long, very sad and of course very similar to most others except I was living with...	MARGINALISED	7	563	Sep 27, 2008 by Peggy7
	How I Start My Day (Preview) This is a poem I have read to start my day for twenty years. It reminds me that everyday is important. I hope you enjoy it and maybe it can make a difference for you as it has for me. Author unknown. This is the beginning of a new day. God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it or use it for good. W...	RLC	6	641	Sep 27, 2008 by Peggy7
	My daughter says to me (Preview) I thought I was being discreet about latest frustration when my 11 year old daughter says "I'm sick of you playing the abused, unhappily married woman. It's getting old. If you're going to get a divorce, do it already." agh! I can't help it! I know she's not alone, when friend's of mine hear...	RainyJamie	10	461	Sep 27, 2008 by Peggy7
	alcoholic son (Preview) I talked to our son last night and asked him how he was doing. His reply was an angry " Don't sound so worried". He still seems like such an angry young man. I don't understand, if he would talk more maybe then he wouldn't be so angry. Should I just leave it and let it go? -- Edited by suzyb at 10...	suzyb	8	10495	Sep 27, 2008 by suzyb
	Crying.... at meetings, or in general... (Preview) Just reading some recent posts about fears/concerns about crying at F2F meetings, worried that once the tears flow, they will never stop, etc..... Brought me back to similar feelings - mostly pride/arrogance/gender based - where I thought "men don't cry, or at least not in public".......	canadianguy	7	669	Sep 27, 2008 by Jean4444
	What to say... (Preview) You know when you have kids you always worry about them asking you certain questions about things that you'd really not like to share...about when was the first time you....had a drink, smoked pot , or whatever. I don't think you can ever be ready for these questions when they are asked! It is hard to te...	suzip	3	518	Sep 27, 2008 by Jerry F
	Re-Connecting (Preview) Hello after a long time, As I have re-connected with my ex A, of course I feel the need to re-connect here. This was my live in BF for almost 2 years...I saw him through his worse, his break down, his detox, rehab and early recovery. He was there with me as I sank into his hell and my own....saw me through b...	Fifi	2	540	Sep 27, 2008 by Jerry F
	Just checking in (Preview) lol Like a teenager calling when she is going to be late. Well, you are my parents in alot of ways. When I need ESH I come here or go to meetings. Didn't get the job and that is ok. I will keep looking and practicing. Keep all options open. My son in the military was discharged Sept. 4. Seven long years. He call...	nmike	5	452	Sep 26, 2008 by Maria123
	acceptance and great thanks (Preview) I have acceptance today. I am still devasted at my loss of my bf. I know that there will be times that I will break down and cry uncontrollably. But this time I am noticing is different. The last time he left (last yr hunting season) I was just sad, very angry, depressed, couldn't get past it..did dist...	mslouise	5	511	Sep 26, 2008 by Maria123
	Went to my first Meeting! (Preview) Went to my first Alanon meeting on Tuesday night. It was amazing how much comfort and love I felt from everyone. But I couldn't even open my mouth because the tears wouldn't stop flowing. They of course assured me that they were all like this when they first started coming. Please tell me this is true bec...	mimidtw	8	453	Sep 26, 2008 by buick23
	Anonymity for the Alcoholic from the Alanon member? (Preview) Hi all - I'm new to the Alanon idea...haven't been to a meeting (yet)... My brother is my A. He's just recently discovered his alcoholism and is (was?) working hard at recovery. He joined an inpatient program for 2 weeks and has been out for a few months. The inpatient treatment was partially becaus...	glow	8	546	Sep 26, 2008 by Mobirdie
	a little scared today..my first outing alone (Preview) I am kinda scared today. I feel so alone. I am going to go to my first church dinner tonight. My sister was supposed to come with me and my son, but she is sick. So I will be going alone with my son. I could easily say, oh well, won't go. But I can't do that. I made a promise to myself and to my exbf that I was...	mslouise	11	802	Sep 25, 2008 by debilyn
	more (Preview) just thinking here...don't like my relationship the way it is even though she is not drinking and she is getting her life together i feel like i am giving up my life right now to a relationship that i am not 100 percent in...and beginning a job tomorrow which i am barely even interested in i would rather sc...	charlescharles	5	388	Sep 25, 2008 by RLC
	aware, accept,........ (Preview) .........action! I get too concerned about those I love I want to help them and protect them Check resources and support them I think of them instead of sleep I have learned this does not help others nor me I believe others are capable to do for themselves I need to take care of my self and sleep It is a habi...	ddub	3	471	Sep 24, 2008 by nmike
	Is Prevention Possible? (Preview) So I was thinking about my daughter (just turned 14 last weekend) and I know I have posted many times about how I see her exhibit A behavior - nothing is ever her fault, lying, always right, never knows when to stop or enough is enough, manipulating, etc. Which could also just be immature behavior in ge...	carolinagirl	10	660	Sep 24, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	To those who asked. (Preview) "Diva, are you moving to Hawaii?" Well, kiddies, the answer is no. Not full-time. It is truly paradise. I loved Maui best. But I know that I would get "island fever." There isn't much to do, and not far to go. So I will visit when the mood hits me, but remain domiciled here in b...	Diva	6	532	Sep 24, 2008 by Jill
	Stressed Out Even Though I Havent Talked to the Ex! UGH (Preview) Well Monday came and went and my wish for a normal day without the stress from my ex A B/F just didnt happen . As you may recall, my ex A b/f was returning home Monday from his rehab out in California. (4 ½ months early) You may also recall that his mom asked me to pick him up from the airport. I told her I coul...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	8	517	Sep 24, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	realization (Preview) time for amends. time to clean up my side of the street....AGAIN. I have been dating quite a bit. I suddenly realize that I have been dating as an attempt to erase my soon to be ex A husband. I have been using these men to try to forget about my ex A. Not working, of course. I am not proud of this. I need to ju...	Jean4444	7	540	Sep 24, 2008 by maresie
	default reactions (Preview) hey... I've been thinking about the reactions that are instinctive in me. I am trying to change them but something is telling me that I need to think about where these reactions are coming from. That part is sorta easy. I often felt invisible when I was a child cause the focus was on the chaos caused by m...	seekingserenity	3	399	Sep 24, 2008 by maresie
	update on all (Preview) Dear all, Went for the interview yesterday, staying in a lovely hotel monday night, thats the good part, the interview was long, strenuous and I did not do great but I did my best, there was a meeting about my other job yesterday and apparently there is a lot to pick through! whatever that means, I have no...	maire rua	2	416	Sep 24, 2008 by nmike
	Balled all the way home, but in a good way (Preview) Our meeting tonight was about changes. When it came my turn to talk, I was surprised at how I felt about this. I said even though I am devasted and miss the bf that I knew and loved more than anything, I don't miss the disease that has him now. And that surpisingly, I am welcoming the changes of the future...	mslouise	3	604	Sep 24, 2008 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.