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last time
(Preview)
So I talked to my ex this morning because I had to find out about the bank account and if he received his unemployment check or not so I could close the account and be done with it. He also owes me money. I called him and he said he got his check in the mail and thought the account had been closed already (he k...
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mslouise
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5
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417
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Suannah?
(Preview)
Where are you over there across the pond? Whatcha doing? Is it fall there now? hugs,debilyn
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debilyn
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0
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272
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i semi did it...
(Preview)
Well I did it, semi did it that is, I called the number for Al-Anon and the girl there suggested that I contact some people in the area for the meeting times, and she gave me 3 phone numbers, I called all of them and this really nice lady, called me back, OMG she was awesome.. If everyone is this great at meeti...
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princessloretta
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3
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448
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talked to some AA members last night
(Preview)
This thinking about my exbf is driving me crazy. I don't sleep well, wake up with thoughts of him. I wish I could just shut my mind off. I have been doing ok. Still cry, but I also keep busy. I have signed up for an exercise class 2x week and have been doing other things to get out and about. I have also b...
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mslouise
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7
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765
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hurricane hits KY
(Preview)
We've had many tornadoes hit Kentucky, but this week we were hit by Hurricane IKE. Sunday morning we had 30 to 50 MPH sustained winds for about 4 hours. There were gusts of 70 MPH. We had no rain and it was fairly sunny...jsut wind. It blew off roofs, blew down thousands of trees and powerlines. We had no e...
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afglin
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6
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379
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This is long.... sorry
(Preview)
Just to forewarn you, this is long My ex A b/f has been home from rehab for a week and I havent spoken with him. Yes hes called, left messages, but I havent taken his calls. This is big for me. Really big and I am proud of myself for sticking to my guns. My curiosity is still here as far as how he is doing, ho...
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HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
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12
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597
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feeling very hurt today
(Preview)
From the posts i have posted in the past two days, you all know my husband went off on a binge and well things are just not good with me now.. I took my wedding ring off, i cant wear it anymore, it is a symbol of love and there is none there right now, and he obviously doesnt treat me like an equal, his wife, so why...
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princessloretta
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9
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813
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asober is really irritating me
(Preview)
Well as some of you read, we got into an argument Friday. Well same again yesterday after he came back home. He kept telling me that he didn't like this, he didn't like that. Icecream I bought wasn't the kind HE wanted, not much later he ate some of it. Then he tells me I don't ever buy any food that he likes to...
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buick23
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8
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517
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Alcohol Abuse or Alcoholism...
(Preview)
and does it matter? I'm new here and feeling confused, sad and hopeless. I'm married to a hard-working, funny, caring man who also happens to be an amazing father. We have one child, she's almost one. We've been together 10 years, married for about 2 and 1/2. For quite some time now alcohol has b...
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Searching2008
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6
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569
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it sure is amazing ...
(Preview)
... what you can find out about yourself once you've started a program like this.
My story with my qualifier isn't much different from anyone else's - he drank, I nagged, he drank more, I left, he followed, I returned ... you get the picture ... and my friends and family think I'm nuts and "deserv...
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nalani
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5
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725
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The first day of the rest of my life...
(Preview)
... I am so excited about it. It has been said a lot to me of late that I have changed. However, yesterday, whilst I was out with my friend it hit home like it had not done before. I am no longer 'the victim', I am ME. The person I really want to be. I am no longer trying to be the person everyone else wants me to...
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Suzannah
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5
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498
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arguments and opinions
(Preview)
Well my abfsober and I had an argument today. My friend who is staying at my ex's house with her family called me today and said that my daughter had asked her to call me to ask me if I could come by and bring her something she really needed. My daughter is at her dads this week. So I told my bf I was going to bring...
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buick23
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3
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510
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Understand.
(Preview)
Any and every relationship, whether it is with your spouse, your client, your employer, or the tech support person on the other end of the phone, is greatly enhanced by understanding. Make the effort to sincerely understand and to be clearly understood. Too often we allow assumptions to take the pla...
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Sincerely
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3
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487
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follow up to my post yesterday, needing to vent.
(Preview)
I posted yesterday about my husband and him going off on a drinking binge. Well I just dont know how or what to feel, I am feeling really empty inside. He just woke up from sleeping all day and is kind of acting like everything is " normal " , how is that. How can they go about their day like they did...
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princessloretta
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6
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556
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New and preparing to confront (again)
(Preview)
Hello all I'm a new poster and like many of you I feel like I'm in hell. I got married 13 weeks ago. About a month ago I unsuccessfully confronted my ah with my recognition of his problem. I offered to be supportive. My words (of course) fell on deaf ears. So, now, I'm preparing to confront my husband in w...
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madmom
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14
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777
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Hubby started drinking again.. ugh
(Preview)
Well well I should have known it would not have lasted, my husband of five years, is an alcoholic and well stopped drinking again and then just a few weeks ago, with football season starting up, said he thinks he can handle one or two beers, uh ya rite, if that was the case he would not have ever needed to hav...
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princessloretta
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11
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2128
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survival on a better level.
(Preview)
Just an update I am still very very much on survival. I eke out a living. I am not yet able to pay back my creditors. I have done a lot of work on my tiny tiny room. I have another couple of weeks work to make it better. Due to the size of the space, I have to take most of my stuff to storage so summer and winter I h...
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maresie
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6
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478
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Next right thing
(Preview)
Since A BF moved out I have had more success with my work and better times with my daughters and really enjoyed doing things for me. I know HP will direct my path. When I find myself obsessing or rolling things around in my head I ask myself if this is how my HP wants me to spend my time and energy. Then I am more...
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glad
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3
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548
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Is it too much to ask?????
(Preview)
I swear! Today I am my own worse enemy! What will it take to make me happy? I don't even know anymore. For so many years my AHubby was drunk and I wasn't happy. He is sober today and has been for a while but I am still not happy. He is gone 1/2 of the year from home. I have my little routine when he is gone a...
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Sincerely
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11
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600
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Poor choice of words!
(Preview)
I have to correct myself in one of my responses to a post I read earlier this week. I mentioned something that was totally the wrong word. I did not mean that my AH went on a rampange at any time. He went off on a bender & ended up almost losing his life because he didn't eat much & drank quite a bit. I...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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444
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New to this.....
(Preview)
Sometimes it is hard to know where to begin..... I lost my first husband, my soulmate....in 2001. He was chronically ill for more than 25 yrs.He was a wonderful husband and father of 4 children. After his sudden death, I was in shock for many months. While I too am chronically ill,the thought of so...
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AlJay1721
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3
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481
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It's been a while....
(Preview)
....and it is good to read again.....and now post. It has been a tough road. Starting to really focus on me and know I must leave when all is together (many things to pull together in order to stay away when I go). This time when I say I am leaving, I will be able to go through with it and start living for me. I'v...
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puzzle
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3
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487
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Am I missing something here?
(Preview)
Hi Guys I'm confused and need some insight into my situation. As I've said in my previous posts my Abf has recently gone into rehab, he was advised about being in a new relationship whilst newly clean and sober, this caused us great anxiety and we had spoken about it in depth. It's been an upsetting time,...
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Mariner
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4
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757
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serenity within the sadness
(Preview)
just for today, maybe even just for the moment, i feel sad. the incident with my niece this week brought to mind another loved one. a young nephew, aged 20 or there abouts. he disappeared a few years ago. his pickup truck was found near the big city bridge. it is believed he commitied suicide by jumping in...
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jewely
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6
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493
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Trichotillomania Anyone?
(Preview)
As part of my recovery I have been working on loving myself and not feeling ashamed of myself. I have a disorder called trichotillomania, trich for short. I pull out my eyelashes until I have none left. Some people with this disorder pull from their scalp as well but I am a lash puller. I feel like this is a...
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StargazerLily
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7
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619
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I don't understasnd
(Preview)
It's been three months since the ex left and he took his bottle of Capt Morgan and one of the dogs. I made things really easy for him. I pretty much wrote off the debt he owes me and made it easy for him to get an apt by giving him a good reference. I was nice even though there was a big knife stuck in my back. Af...
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Gared
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5
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608
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one step forward 10 steps back
(Preview)
The other day I felt really peaceful and strong, I visualised giving my Abf a kiss on the cheek and handing him over to the care of God. This really worked for me and I felt good, everytime I started stressing I repeated this image in my mind. Great progress for me. Then yesterday evening whilst I was in w...
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Mariner
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4
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708
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struggling
(Preview)
Following last week's surgery I am struggling harder this time to recuperate. I think two procedures of this nature so close together makes it harder to bounce back. Needless to say, when you don't feel up to par physically, it makes anything else nearly impossible to handle. After weeks of sobrie...
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joyoma
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6
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505
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Please help me understand ... new to Alanon
(Preview)
This is my first posting although I have been reading through all your posts for a few weeks and they have helped me so much already. I am in so much pain at the moment.... I just dont understand or know what to do. My story is long, very sad and of course very similar to most others except I was living with...
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MARGINALISED
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7
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559
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How I Start My Day
(Preview)
This is a poem I have read to start my day for twenty years. It reminds me that everyday is important. I hope you enjoy it and maybe it can make a difference for you as it has for me. Author unknown. This is the beginning of a new day. God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it or use it for good. W...
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RLC
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6
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637
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My daughter says to me
(Preview)
I thought I was being discreet about latest frustration when my 11 year old daughter says "I'm sick of you playing the abused, unhappily married woman. It's getting old. If you're going to get a divorce, do it already." agh! I can't help it! I know she's not alone, when friend's of mine hear...
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RainyJamie
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10
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457
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alcoholic son
(Preview)
I talked to our son last night and asked him how he was doing. His reply was an angry " Don't sound so worried". He still seems like such an angry young man. I don't understand, if he would talk more maybe then he wouldn't be so angry. Should I just leave it and let it go? -- Edited by suzyb at 10...
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suzyb
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8
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10488
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Crying.... at meetings, or in general...
(Preview)
Just reading some recent posts about fears/concerns about crying at F2F meetings, worried that once the tears flow, they will never stop, etc..... Brought me back to similar feelings - mostly pride/arrogance/gender based - where I thought "men don't cry, or at least not in public".......
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canadianguy
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7
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664
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What to say...
(Preview)
You know when you have kids you always worry about them asking you certain questions about things that you'd really not like to share...about when was the first time you....had a drink, smoked pot , or whatever. I don't think you can ever be ready for these questions when they are asked! It is hard to te...
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suzip
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3
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514
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Re-Connecting
(Preview)
Hello after a long time,
As I have re-connected with my ex A, of course I feel the need to re-connect here.
This was my live in BF for almost 2 years...I saw him through his worse, his break down, his detox, rehab and early recovery. He was there with me as I sank into his hell and my own....saw me through b...
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Fifi
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2
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536
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Just checking in
(Preview)
lol Like a teenager calling when she is going to be late. Well, you are my parents in alot of ways. When I need ESH I come here or go to meetings. Didn't get the job and that is ok. I will keep looking and practicing. Keep all options open. My son in the military was discharged Sept. 4. Seven long years. He call...
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nmike
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5
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447
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acceptance and great thanks
(Preview)
I have acceptance today. I am still devasted at my loss of my bf. I know that there will be times that I will break down and cry uncontrollably. But this time I am noticing is different. The last time he left (last yr hunting season) I was just sad, very angry, depressed, couldn't get past it..did dist...
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mslouise
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5
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507
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Went to my first Meeting!
(Preview)
Went to my first Alanon meeting on Tuesday night. It was amazing how much comfort and love I felt from everyone. But I couldn't even open my mouth because the tears wouldn't stop flowing. They of course assured me that they were all like this when they first started coming. Please tell me this is true bec...
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mimidtw
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8
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450
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Anonymity for the Alcoholic from the Alanon member?
(Preview)
Hi all - I'm new to the Alanon idea...haven't been to a meeting (yet)... My brother is my A. He's just recently discovered his alcoholism and is (was?) working hard at recovery. He joined an inpatient program for 2 weeks and has been out for a few months. The inpatient treatment was partially becaus...
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glow
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8
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544
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a little scared today..my first outing alone
(Preview)
I am kinda scared today. I feel so alone. I am going to go to my first church dinner tonight. My sister was supposed to come with me and my son, but she is sick. So I will be going alone with my son. I could easily say, oh well, won't go. But I can't do that. I made a promise to myself and to my exbf that I was...
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mslouise
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11
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798
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more
(Preview)
just thinking here...don't like my relationship the way it is even though she is not drinking and she is getting her life together i feel like i am giving up my life right now to a relationship that i am not 100 percent in...and beginning a job tomorrow which i am barely even interested in i would rather sc...
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charlescharles
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5
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383
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aware, accept,........
(Preview)
.........action! I get too concerned about those I love I want to help them and protect them Check resources and support them I think of them instead of sleep I have learned this does not help others nor me I believe others are capable to do for themselves I need to take care of my self and sleep It is a habi...
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ddub
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3
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467
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Is Prevention Possible?
(Preview)
So I was thinking about my daughter (just turned 14 last weekend) and I know I have posted many times about how I see her exhibit A behavior - nothing is ever her fault, lying, always right, never knows when to stop or enough is enough, manipulating, etc. Which could also just be immature behavior in ge...
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carolinagirl
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10
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651
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To those who asked.
(Preview)
"Diva, are you moving to Hawaii?" Well, kiddies, the answer is no. Not full-time. It is truly paradise. I loved Maui best. But I know that I would get "island fever." There isn't much to do, and not far to go. So I will visit when the mood hits me, but remain domiciled here in b...
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Diva
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6
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528
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Stressed Out Even Though I Havent Talked to the Ex! UGH
(Preview)
Well Monday came and went and my wish for a normal day without the stress from my ex A B/F just didnt happen . As you may recall, my ex A b/f was returning home Monday from his rehab out in California. (4 ½ months early) You may also recall that his mom asked me to pick him up from the airport. I told her I coul...
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HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
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8
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512
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realization
(Preview)
time for amends. time to clean up my side of the street....AGAIN.
I have been dating quite a bit. I suddenly realize that I have been dating as an attempt to erase my soon to be ex A husband. I have been using these men to try to forget about my ex A. Not working, of course.
I am not proud of this. I need to ju...
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Jean4444
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7
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536
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default reactions
(Preview)
hey... I've been thinking about the reactions that are instinctive in me. I am trying to change them but something is telling me that I need to think about where these reactions are coming from. That part is sorta easy. I often felt invisible when I was a child cause the focus was on the chaos caused by m...
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seekingserenity
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3
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395
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update on all
(Preview)
Dear all, Went for the interview yesterday, staying in a lovely hotel monday night, thats the good part, the interview was long, strenuous and I did not do great but I did my best, there was a meeting about my other job yesterday and apparently there is a lot to pick through! whatever that means, I have no...
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maire rua
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2
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411
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Balled all the way home, but in a good way
(Preview)
Our meeting tonight was about changes. When it came my turn to talk, I was surprised at how I felt about this. I said even though I am devasted and miss the bf that I knew and loved more than anything, I don't miss the disease that has him now. And that surpisingly, I am welcoming the changes of the future...
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mslouise
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3
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600
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New to Alanon and need help!
(Preview)
I am in need of some advice/help. I was told about Alanon from a friend. I remember going to alateen when I was VERY young but I couldnt tell you what it was about or anything about it. I grew up with an alcoholic father who I was separated from at the age of 8 and got dropped off at his door step at 17. I quickly f...
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jkprewett
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9
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573
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feel off the wagon
(Preview)
So I fell of the wagon and called my exbf today. Blocked my number so he couldn't see it. (hopefully that worked) Don't know why, I just had the over desire urge to tell him about my strenghs lately. (becuase I knew the real him would be proud of me...why I cared who knows?) So I tell him, I am doing really...
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mslouise
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4
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521
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Driving Drunk
(Preview)
My AH usually attends two meetings per week. That's pretty much his program for the time being. He has had several occassions where he drank. Most of the time he sneaks drinks in the garage or along side the house. He thinks he is sneaking, but it is quite obvious when he drinks. The other night, he le...
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stormie
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11
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1517
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another day
(Preview)
just got home a while ago..my a is getting on my nerves and i guess i on hers anyway...to much to talk about...bullcrap all over the place do i love her...do i want to be with her...am i sick of her...is she too needy...am i a creep etc etc etc i would like to lead a great..fantastic charismatic free life......
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charlescharles
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3
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443
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food addiction?
(Preview)
anyone here having problems with food and compulsively over eating? struggling with balance in life? i am. I just need to hear how other's handle this part of life as well as everything else posted here. I need some help. thank you.
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MommaMia14
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4
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1292
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NEED ADVICE!
(Preview)
My son is my alcoholic, he is 24 yrs. old. He has no respect for me, I guess because he thinks he can walk all over me and I will be right there for him when ever he needs my help. I have to confess, my unconditional love has gotten in the way many times. But this time he really hurt me!! I told him I would be at...
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roxygirl
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7
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615
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Practising detaching
(Preview)
Dear All, The job interview is tomorrow and I have prepared well, got all literature off on time, and for the first time ever while A's around me having been having a melt down. (1) When I collected my sister from the airport and drove her to my father's and very sick step mothers, he was very canned and emo...
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maire rua
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3
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495
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Miracle in progress
(Preview)
After my last three or four posts I have spent some time going back over my earlier posts. Unfortunately, as I changed my name the posts I started with in October of last year were not available to me, or leastways I was not successful in accessing them. It was enough to go back to the beginning of Suzanna...
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Suzannah
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6
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1236
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I need an 'attitude adjustment'-having a rough time
(Preview)
First of all, I need to ask you to bear with me, as my keyboard died, and I am using the on-screen one. Anyway, I am back with my A boyfriend, and, believe me---it doesn't get better till we get better, and the'it' is us. I am still going thru heck with the chronic pain and deression. I belong to an online chro...
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hippietrippiechick
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5
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394
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My weekend - Thank you all - slowly moving foward
(Preview)
It was my first weekend without my exbf. I just wanted to let you all know how much you have helped me with all your kind words. I did pretty well. Still having doubts, but I also have beliefs in myself. When I was with my bf and he laid out his hunting plans, I too laid out mine. At the time, I made a promis...
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mslouise
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4
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511
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still sharing
(Preview)
hey..just thoughts on my mind like why is my ex girlfriend and her family constantly in my recurring dreams while my present girlfriend..in the same dreams...seems to be going in a different direction...like she leaves and the ex comes into the dreams anyway..still doing what i think i should be doi...
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charlescharles
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3
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475
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