Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

babysteps · babysteps

It has been a long time since I have been on MIP. Here is a quick summary: I have been married for 10 years to my AH. He went to rehab in '05, relapsed immediately upon return. Finally started taking AA seriously in '08, would be sober for 30 days, drink for 30 days... Then he achieved 72 days of sobriety only...

buick23 · buick23

I am going to our final courtdate on Thursday to get divorced and for custody decision of my daugther. We talked with the guardian yesterday and my daugther wants to live with her dad. She has said that a month ago and I thought it was just a phase because of me and her dad having to talk to her about problems...

Pantera · Pantera

My apparently sober AH came home from the halfway house last week. He said he was laid-off at his job? Hmmm... I had told him repeatedly I was not ready to try to live with him yet, and that's why he was staying at the halfway house after rehab (second time through). I have been looking for a place of my o...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi MIP family! For a while now I've been thinking about doing step 4 again. When I first did it last year, I used an alanon book that helped me think through my inventory - a workbook of soughts. It was very helpful. Over the weekend, I took a look at what I noted down as my character defects and really ha...

missing out · missing out

OK long story short...My husband and myslef run our own business, this year make 20 years for my husband, and we try really hard in todays world to run it the way it should run to survive in todays crazy world... I have told my family, (Mother, sister,brother) all thee above, ONLY call me at work IF there...

Wittsend · Wittsend

I don't know what type of lawyer to see, it looks like he has a lung clot and a brain clot, if he lives, what should I do so that I don't lose the house if he has to go into a facility?

maresie · maresie

There is a show on A & E called Intervention. When I first started watching it my eyes were on the alcoholic and the addict and how terrible it all was. Now my eyes are on the codependents, the family system that "enables" them. I'm so aware of how much I can be like them. I've gone from b...

Codependent · Codependent

This is a rant message just to get it out there. I keep thinking about how when he was in jail last time he thought he was back in love with me and seemed to be really in to me and said my new confidence was attractive and it's true- when he is in jail- I feel powerful and exude confidence I guess. When he first...

luvinmom · luvinmom

I was beginning to feel very very sad about my son this afternoon. Could not stop worrying, wanting my baby back. All of a sudden my radio started playing Don't Stop Believing by Journey. Maybe I'm being melodramatic but I felt like my HP was sending me a message. What's the meaning? Just before my son...

Loupiness · Loupiness

My last post was on my swirling thoughts and I appreciated the responses very much. Jean made the comparison to the flushing of a toilet. Made me laugh, as that is such a great analogy. Well, the paper (and poop) is still going round and round.... Last night I finally freaked. Thank goodness my spon...

lola1777 · lola1777

My father died about 4 months ago and even though he was sick for a long time, he was the one that held our family together...especially my alcoholic mother. She has been doing relatively well but was in a drunken stupor for the week of Christmas. I don't live in the same city so when I left, I was very sad...

luvinmom · luvinmom

Ok full of questions today...has this ever happened to other alcoholics/overstressed people? My alcoholic son, 20, has always had an incredibly thick head of hair. I kid you not, about 90% has fallen out! It first started falling out the first week of Nov and by Thanksgiving it was gone. To quote a Lea...

Namaste Nurse · Namaste Nurse

I just have so many questions! I want to know how did everyone deal with the financial troubles that your A caused? I know that in about 31 days I am going to loose my house because my A could not keep a job for the last 7 months. They won't even work with us because he does not have a job. I used to be the dum...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I just read a post and it really got me to thinking about the situation I have been through/am going through with ExABF-10 yrs sober and in program..... I was thinking driving home how he seems so much happier lately when we talk since I have been in program. He broke up with me, obviously I wasn'...

tommyecat · tommyecat

It has been a few years since I have visited this recovery website. Thank you all for your service work to make this special place possible. When I was unable to get to a local meeting and could not connect with my sponsor or program friends, I would would connect with you guys via message boards or onli...

Mariner · Mariner

((((Family)))) So my brave face never made it. I started crying yesterday I just couldnt stop, tears flowing quitely down my face. I tried to hide it fom my Abf in my good old codependant way. Still they came, he didnt notice at first ha ha, when he did he was kind and I kept a lid on it as neither of us c...

Diva · Diva

Spent the holidays at my condo on Maui. Sure hoped to see President-elect Obama, but no luck. But...paradise is paradise...no matter. A partner hasn't had a drink in about a month. Sure is more pleasant living with him sober. Sending good new year wishes to all of you. Diva

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hello Friends, It is wierd how my thoughts start swirling, and although they are not "new" ideas, they suddenly seem so in the way I perceive them. I am separated from my A, and though sober (chemically) for 13 mos, he is still in a sick relationship that began back in 2006, and is not a healthy...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

This weekend brought with it an opportunity for me to grow a little more and for that I am grateful. I was experiencing a "situation" with the ex that sent me, at first reaction, into a tail spin.......Then several minutes later, after several times reciting the Serenity Prayer....

missing out · missing out

Just wanted to share my crazy, sometimes tragic, almost magic, beautiful life, with the A's in my world... My brother is an "A". one of the many in my family... so to me that means, many many 6am calls saying, "please sister save me from jail, get me home, I can't live here I would rath...

Maryann1966 · Maryann1966

Well, tomorow is the day my 17 year old turns himself in for probation revocation. His lawyer says we can bail him out pretty quickly, then go to court in about 3 weeks. At first, this was our plan. But, for the past 2 weeks, he has treated our house as a hotel, not lifted a finger to help around here, and c...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, found out yesterday that the A got rearrested- this time with his old girlfriend. He got pulled over. She apparently overdosed- not sure if she swallowed stuff when they got pulled over or what. Anyway, she is supposed to go to jail too when she gets out. I have not called to find out any more de...

Harriet130 · Harriet130

My 24 year old daughter has been in recovery for 4 years; I' m truly grateful for that! I live in Maryland and she lives in my condo in Florida with a roommate (who pays me rent). She has been in school and working part time for the past 3 years. In February, she lost a part time job as a tech in a rehab. It t...

maresie · maresie

Tomorrow officially the holidays are over. I realize I am not much good at holidays myself. I still have a great deal of grief left over from my family of origin. I also think I am still suffering from the vestiges of people pleasing. Put me in a place of people pleasing and I can go through the motions a...

Mariner · Mariner

Dear (((All))) I finally got the courage to get honest with my Abf. He's on weekend home leave the last one before he's back for good from rehab. We had the conversation last night. He had stuff he wanted to tell me and I could sense the weight of it. I think it suprised him how much I had thought it through an...

Hopeless in AZ · Hopeless in AZ

I'm done dealing w/my father's alcoholism. I wrote him a letter last week telling him he had until the end of the month to get out. I refuse to continue to live like this in MY OWN home. He is my father but he has NO right to put me and my precious daughter through this. He's been living with me for almost a...

joyoma · joyoma

Happy New Year, Everyone and Blessings for 2009. I am grateful for MIP for the two years of participation I have done, the great responses I have had. I feel as if I know so many of you personally!! Essentially, my life is as "normal" and "positive" as one would expect with the -is...

Namaste Nurse · Namaste Nurse

So I have a AH. We live in a 920 sq foot house, so we a kind of on top of each other. I have only been to one meeting and I am feeling really good about it. My question is how have you detached from you situation? I will give you an example....he is pretty emotionally abusive when he is drinking and he gets in m...

Suzannah · Suzannah

...I am counting my blessings and beginning each day in FAITH and kicking DOUBT out. I am moving forward, one step at a time, and I am learning the discipline of POSITIVE thinking instead of STINKING thinking. O BOY though it has been a hard discipline to learn and DO over the years I am not afraid if I slip...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

well, its saturday night. Not every saturday night but maybe once a month there is a party in my house. I live in this house with two other women. Both are younger than I am. One owns the house. We are room mates. tonight is a party. I went to dinner. I went to a coffee house and sat and wrote. I am back...

missing out · missing out

Just wanted to share my crazy, sometimes tragic, almost magic, beautiful life, with the A's in my world... My brother is an "A". one of the many in my family... so to me that means, many many 6am calls saying, "please sister save me from jail, get me home, I can't live here I would rath...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear all, My A-father who was bereaved in November is still hacking away at the whisky. He had been out of my life for five years but is back in again. I deal with things differently now though and have not got hostile feelings but am very critical privately of him. At the moment my son who is very fond of him...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

I don't understand why I keep acting like a 2 year old whenI know the consequences. Furthermore, I don't know until after the fact how to enact any positive change.

snowqueen · snowqueen

Hello Everyone, Just to identify...I am an adult daughter and have active and recovering alcoholics in my life at present. It's good to not make situations worse through simply not having knowledge of how to do things differently, this disease really is baffling and powerful. There is hope and help...

luvinmom · luvinmom

If I am undecided about asking it probably means that in my heart I know the right answer. My son was discharged from rehab on some meds, campral, naloxone & antabuse. He got a 90 day supply since he knew his insurance would end. I know I should be detaching... but still want to be engaged & s...

soconfused · soconfused

``Letting Go'' To ``let go'' does not mean to stop caring.It means I can't do it for someone else. To ``let go'' is not to cut myself off.It's the realization I can't control another. To ``let go'' is not to enable,but to allow learning from natural consequences. To ``let go'' is to admit powerles...

ppay · ppay

Hi, everyone. I am new and just not sure where to turn. My 32 year old son is an alcoholic and does continue to drink. Sometimes he admits he has a problem and is going to stop but never does for very long. His girlfriend is the same way. She is wanting to go to AA meetings and he doesn't. She wants my adv...

ddub · ddub

greetings mip family~ I have spent some time with posts from the past on functional alcoholic spouses - I can relate to all of them and also thinking about maresie current post on boundaries. Could be my focus on my own life with functional alcoholic makes me slip back to the its not fair pity party but kn...

maresie · maresie

I find myself all the time having to scrutizine all my boundaries and work on limits and looking at my expectations. Every single day I find different ways I've allowed others to broach my boundaries in different ways. As someone who was incredibly codependent I allowed all my boundaries to be broa...

maresie · maresie

As I've spoken about often I have moved into a phase of my life where I am constantly assessing my boundaries and working on them. What's come up for me recently is a suprize. I've set in motion a lot of boundaries around being around active alcoholics and addicts. What's a shock to me is that intuitiv...

somethingsimple · somethingsimple

My mother died in Nov of 2006. She was a vicious nasty person to her children but was a good Christian woman to the outside world. She stopped drinking when I was 12 but never attended AA. The day she died my 82 yr old father moved in with me. He's had 6 strokes and cannot live alone. I quit my job as a school bu...

Toto814 · Toto814

I've read on more than on occasion on this forum that the movie 'Gaslight' was not to be missed by those of us affected by the 'A' disease. It is on cable today at noon EST on TCM (Turner Classic Movies). May be worth giving it a viewing.

ESH · ESH

Where can we go to learn to rise above being emotionally abused? Where? Where? I am sick of it! There are so many abusive people out there and I need a way of developing some rhino-skin so that I can deflect it somehow. I really think that once we have been emotionally abused, we somehow draw more of t...

puzzle · puzzle

I finally got an apartment. Another that was dropped down from above but even more perfect. A bit closer, lots of land, great people/landlords, private and they don't drink! God did have other plans after the other apt. fell through......I have paid the first month which starts in February. Only a ve...

Maryann1966 · Maryann1966

So I joined here yesterday, went to my first f2f today, when I commit to something, I go all out. I've been very emotional, so was worried about a f2f meeting. Not really comfortable cryng in public! The topic for the day was right on for me......expectations. I'm dealing with my 17 year old son and a...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I just wish that I could understand WHY IT IS SO HARD to let go of someone and walk away from them after a relationship ends? ExABF-sober in program 10yrs and I split up.....or he split up with me I should say....November 16th. We have stayed in contact and have talked and argued since then....him argui...

abbyal · abbyal

Happy Birthday to Tiredtonite , Have a good one . A brand new yr - yur gonna find the job of your dreams I just know it . Louise

luvinmom · luvinmom

Our son was discharged from a stay in rehab. That night he had 3 friends and alcohol in my parents home where he stays. My parents are now out of town for winter and we went over kicked the kids out, took his keys the house and said he needed to find someplace else to stay. We did so the Alanon way, we told...

Trinia2 · Trinia2

My AS is in a free apartment from a friend. It is located in a very bad area, but the apartment is nice. It is close to the court where he is supposed to report daily and close to the addiction day program he is supposed to attend. He has nothing basically. His car was almost totalled and will be repossessed....

Loupiness · Loupiness

I've been feeling pretty good lately, as if I may be starting to heal. Then, I talk to my children, and they only see me as flawed. This really presents itself in situations where they aren't getting what they want. I can give and give and give, and then when it is not enough or I screw up, nothing good I ha...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family))))), Just wanted to take a few minutes to wish my loved family here, a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR! Here's hoping it's filled with love, laughter, tons of silliness and serenity. A friend once told me not wish that a year would come to an end, because it will be over before you know it. I understan...

AlvinG · AlvinG

Hello all, I live in a small town that has no Al-anon groups so I'm looking on the Net for some answers. I have a 26 year old son that is an alcoholic and he lives away from home. It is just a matter of time that he will not be able to make it on his own. The question I have is do I take him back in. I have no idea wheth...

Maryann1966 · Maryann1966

Hello everyone, I have just discovered this board and am beginning to work on step 1. I just wanted to introduce myself and give a bit of some background info. Thanks in advance to those who read through, I'll make it as brief as I can. My 17 year old son will be turning himself in for probation revocation...

Maria123 · Maria123

Happy New Years (((((my friends))))), This past year I had a calendar that gave me daily reflections and so I thought I'd share some of the really good ones to give consideration to: The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement. Religion is but one tree with many branches. Before you speak,...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Happy New Year, My wish for all of you is health, happiness and most of all serenity throughout this new year. I hope 2009 brings much joy and comfort to all of you wonderful people. Don't forget to hug someone you love.....:) Love ya, Andrea

luckyeddie · luckyeddie

the following is a letter i received a few years back from a 15 year old girl Dear Eddie alateen is where i go to let off steam. it helps to think there is other people out there that know exactly what i am going through i get mad really easy i hate getting angry it makes me feel unclean i hate the way mum gets rea...

LG · LG

Hi everyone, first of all Happy New Year! I hope 2009 is a year of peace, health, and serenity for everyone in this community. Question - has anyone found a source of Alanon literature (e.g. Courage to Change, ODAT, How Alanon Works, etc.) in electronic format ? I have these books and others in the usual...

Suzannah · Suzannah

As you are aware, I have been away from this board for a while, however, it is simply incredible to see the journeys some of our family are making and the miracles that have taken place during this holiday in particular. I feel so encouraged and blessed by each one that I have read of and it makes my heart si...

hope for me n you · hope for me n you

I managed to get myself in to the doctor today to have her check the lump I had found under my arm .. She checked it out and mentioned she could feel what I was feeling but mentioned also that I do have a muscleband there. She mentioned she felt the lymphnode areas and didn't seem to think there was any swelli...

missing out · missing out

I just wanted to take a minute and wish ALL OF YOU a Very Happy New Years, and hope that you all have a wonderful day, and that you are all safe...Thanks so much for excepting me into your group... Already it has been a blessing just knowing that I am NOT alone...And Not Going Crazy...lol... So Please be sa...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Update (Preview) It has been a long time since I have been on MIP. Here is a quick summary: I have been married for 10 years to my AH. He went to rehab in '05, relapsed immediately upon return. Finally started taking AA seriously in '08, would be sober for 30 days, drink for 30 days... Then he achieved 72 days of sobriety only...	babysteps	6	482	Jan 7, 2009 by artygirl
	court coming up (Preview) I am going to our final courtdate on Thursday to get divorced and for custody decision of my daugther. We talked with the guardian yesterday and my daugther wants to live with her dad. She has said that a month ago and I thought it was just a phase because of me and her dad having to talk to her about problems...	buick23	7	634	Jan 7, 2009 by buick23
	AH wants everything to go back to normal (Preview) My apparently sober AH came home from the halfway house last week. He said he was laid-off at his job? Hmmm... I had told him repeatedly I was not ready to try to live with him yet, and that's why he was staying at the halfway house after rehab (second time through). I have been looking for a place of my o...	Pantera	9	620	Jan 7, 2009 by maresie
	Another look at step 4 (Preview) Hi MIP family! For a while now I've been thinking about doing step 4 again. When I first did it last year, I used an alanon book that helped me think through my inventory - a workbook of soughts. It was very helpful. Over the weekend, I took a look at what I noted down as my character defects and really ha...	Rocky38	3	654	Jan 7, 2009 by abbyal
	Just a small Vent.... (Preview) OK long story short...My husband and myslef run our own business, this year make 20 years for my husband, and we try really hard in todays world to run it the way it should run to survive in todays crazy world... I have told my family, (Mother, sister,brother) all thee above, ONLY call me at work IF there...	missing out	3	632	Jan 7, 2009 by maresie
	He's in the last stage (Preview) I don't know what type of lawyer to see, it looks like he has a lung clot and a brain clot, if he lives, what should I do so that I don't lose the house if he has to go into a facility?	Wittsend	6	710	Jan 7, 2009 by maresie
	Intervention (Preview) There is a show on A & E called Intervention. When I first started watching it my eyes were on the alcoholic and the addict and how terrible it all was. Now my eyes are on the codependents, the family system that "enables" them. I'm so aware of how much I can be like them. I've gone from b...	maresie	10	859	Jan 7, 2009 by maresie
	Not wanting me (Preview) This is a rant message just to get it out there. I keep thinking about how when he was in jail last time he thought he was back in love with me and seemed to be really in to me and said my new confidence was attractive and it's true- when he is in jail- I feel powerful and exude confidence I guess. When he first...	Codependent	6	485	Jan 6, 2009 by nmike
	All Choked Up (Preview) I was beginning to feel very very sad about my son this afternoon. Could not stop worrying, wanting my baby back. All of a sudden my radio started playing Don't Stop Believing by Journey. Maybe I'm being melodramatic but I felt like my HP was sending me a message. What's the meaning? Just before my son...	luvinmom	3	716	Jan 6, 2009 by nmike
	and round and round... (Preview) My last post was on my swirling thoughts and I appreciated the responses very much. Jean made the comparison to the flushing of a toilet. Made me laugh, as that is such a great analogy. Well, the paper (and poop) is still going round and round.... Last night I finally freaked. Thank goodness my spon...	Loupiness	6	663	Jan 6, 2009 by nmike
	DysFUNctional family and my role (Preview) My father died about 4 months ago and even though he was sick for a long time, he was the one that held our family together...especially my alcoholic mother. She has been doing relatively well but was in a drunken stupor for the week of Christmas. I don't live in the same city so when I left, I was very sad...	lola1777	3	873	Jan 6, 2009 by missing out
	Hair Loss, Stress & Alcohol (Preview) Ok full of questions today...has this ever happened to other alcoholics/overstressed people? My alcoholic son, 20, has always had an incredibly thick head of hair. I kid you not, about 90% has fallen out! It first started falling out the first week of Nov and by Thanksgiving it was gone. To quote a Lea...	luvinmom	3	679	Jan 6, 2009 by Rita G
	Financial Recovery (Preview) I just have so many questions! I want to know how did everyone deal with the financial troubles that your A caused? I know that in about 31 days I am going to loose my house because my A could not keep a job for the last 7 months. They won't even work with us because he does not have a job. I used to be the dum...	Namaste Nurse	8	555	Jan 6, 2009 by maresie
	To many What If's inside my head this afternoon...........UGHHHHHH! (Preview) I just read a post and it really got me to thinking about the situation I have been through/am going through with ExABF-10 yrs sober and in program..... I was thinking driving home how he seems so much happier lately when we talk since I have been in program. He broke up with me, obviously I wasn'...	shellyj123	3	758	Jan 6, 2009 by Jerry F
	I am so glad MIP is still here! (Preview) It has been a few years since I have visited this recovery website. Thank you all for your service work to make this special place possible. When I was unable to get to a local meeting and could not connect with my sponsor or program friends, I would would connect with you guys via message boards or onli...	tommyecat	2	504	Jan 6, 2009 by abbyal
	Tears, more tears then a little miracle (Preview) ((((Family)))) So my brave face never made it. I started crying yesterday I just couldnt stop, tears flowing quitely down my face. I tried to hide it fom my Abf in my good old codependant way. Still they came, he didnt notice at first ha ha, when he did he was kind and I kept a lid on it as neither of us c...	Mariner	4	549	Jan 6, 2009 by nmike
	Just back... (Preview) Spent the holidays at my condo on Maui. Sure hoped to see President-elect Obama, but no luck. But...paradise is paradise...no matter. A partner hasn't had a drink in about a month. Sure is more pleasant living with him sober. Sending good new year wishes to all of you. Diva	Diva	3	496	Jan 6, 2009 by debilyn
	swirling thoughts (Preview) Hello Friends, It is wierd how my thoughts start swirling, and although they are not "new" ideas, they suddenly seem so in the way I perceive them. I am separated from my A, and though sober (chemically) for 13 mos, he is still in a sick relationship that began back in 2006, and is not a healthy...	Loupiness	4	674	Jan 5, 2009 by Jean4444
	Accepting what I can not change~Eye opener (Preview) This weekend brought with it an opportunity for me to grow a little more and for that I am grateful. I was experiencing a "situation" with the ex that sent me, at first reaction, into a tail spin.......Then several minutes later, after several times reciting the Serenity Prayer....	shellyj123	5	610	Jan 5, 2009 by Jean4444
	Yet another lesson.... (Preview) Just wanted to share my crazy, sometimes tragic, almost magic, beautiful life, with the A's in my world... My brother is an "A". one of the many in my family... so to me that means, many many 6am calls saying, "please sister save me from jail, get me home, I can't live here I would rath...	missing out	2	435	Jan 5, 2009 by Wittsend
	Time for "tough love"? (Preview) Well, tomorow is the day my 17 year old turns himself in for probation revocation. His lawyer says we can bail him out pretty quickly, then go to court in about 3 weeks. At first, this was our plan. But, for the past 2 weeks, he has treated our house as a hotel, not lifted a finger to help around here, and c...	Maryann1966	5	1326	Jan 5, 2009 by maresie
	Back in jail (Preview) Well, found out yesterday that the A got rearrested- this time with his old girlfriend. He got pulled over. She apparently overdosed- not sure if she swallowed stuff when they got pulled over or what. Anyway, she is supposed to go to jail too when she gets out. I have not called to find out any more de...	Codependent	5	500	Jan 5, 2009 by maresie
	How to stop enabling my daughter who's in recovery (Preview) My 24 year old daughter has been in recovery for 4 years; I' m truly grateful for that! I live in Maryland and she lives in my condo in Florida with a roommate (who pays me rent). She has been in school and working part time for the past 3 years. In February, she lost a part time job as a tech in a rehab. It t...	Harriet130	4	1099	Jan 5, 2009 by maresie
	holidays (Preview) Tomorrow officially the holidays are over. I realize I am not much good at holidays myself. I still have a great deal of grief left over from my family of origin. I also think I am still suffering from the vestiges of people pleasing. Put me in a place of people pleasing and I can go through the motions a...	maresie	4	605	Jan 5, 2009 by maresie
	The next right thing..... OUCH (Preview) Dear (((All))) I finally got the courage to get honest with my Abf. He's on weekend home leave the last one before he's back for good from rehab. We had the conversation last night. He had stuff he wanted to tell me and I could sense the weight of it. I think it suprised him how much I had thought it through an...	Mariner	8	526	Jan 5, 2009 by Loupiness
	I'm kicking him out..... (Preview) I'm done dealing w/my father's alcoholism. I wrote him a letter last week telling him he had until the end of the month to get out. I refuse to continue to live like this in MY OWN home. He is my father but he has NO right to put me and my precious daughter through this. He's been living with me for almost a...	Hopeless in AZ	8	626	Jan 4, 2009 by Canary
	Any resolutions?? (Preview) Happy New Year, Everyone and Blessings for 2009. I am grateful for MIP for the two years of participation I have done, the great responses I have had. I feel as if I know so many of you personally!! Essentially, my life is as "normal" and "positive" as one would expect with the -is...	joyoma	4	428	Jan 4, 2009 by soconfused
	Need some advice on what you have done to detach (Preview) So I have a AH. We live in a 920 sq foot house, so we a kind of on top of each other. I have only been to one meeting and I am feeling really good about it. My question is how have you detached from you situation? I will give you an example....he is pretty emotionally abusive when he is drinking and he gets in m...	Namaste Nurse	7	2977	Jan 4, 2009 by Jen
	With a song in my heart... (Preview) ...I am counting my blessings and beginning each day in FAITH and kicking DOUBT out. I am moving forward, one step at a time, and I am learning the discipline of POSITIVE thinking instead of STINKING thinking. O BOY though it has been a hard discipline to learn and DO over the years I am not afraid if I slip...	Suzannah	6	556	Jan 4, 2009 by snowqueen
	Party house tonight (Preview) well, its saturday night. Not every saturday night but maybe once a month there is a party in my house. I live in this house with two other women. Both are younger than I am. One owns the house. We are room mates. tonight is a party. I went to dinner. I went to a coffee house and sat and wrote. I am back...	Jean4444	6	602	Jan 4, 2009 by maire rua
	Yet another lesson.... (Preview) Just wanted to share my crazy, sometimes tragic, almost magic, beautiful life, with the A's in my world... My brother is an "A". one of the many in my family... so to me that means, many many 6am calls saying, "please sister save me from jail, get me home, I can't live here I would rath...	missing out	0	472	Jan 4, 2009 by missing out
	Dealing with A's and those in denial (Preview) Dear all, My A-father who was bereaved in November is still hacking away at the whisky. He had been out of my life for five years but is back in again. I deal with things differently now though and have not got hostile feelings but am very critical privately of him. At the moment my son who is very fond of him...	maire rua	6	464	Jan 4, 2009 by maire rua
	Why? (Preview) I don't understand why I keep acting like a 2 year old whenI know the consequences. Furthermore, I don't know until after the fact how to enact any positive change.	seekingserenity	3	495	Jan 4, 2009 by Loupiness
	Saying Hello (Preview) Hello Everyone, Just to identify...I am an adult daughter and have active and recovering alcoholics in my life at present. It's good to not make situations worse through simply not having knowledge of how to do things differently, this disease really is baffling and powerful. There is hope and help...	snowqueen	1	434	Jan 4, 2009 by maresie
	Ask son about medications? (Preview) If I am undecided about asking it probably means that in my heart I know the right answer. My son was discharged from rehab on some meds, campral, naloxone & antabuse. He got a 90 day supply since he knew his insurance would end. I know I should be detaching... but still want to be engaged & s...	luvinmom	1	461	Jan 4, 2009 by maresie
	letting go (Preview) ``Letting Go'' To ``let go'' does not mean to stop caring.It means I can't do it for someone else. To ``let go'' is not to cut myself off.It's the realization I can't control another. To ``let go'' is not to enable,but to allow learning from natural consequences. To ``let go'' is to admit powerles...	soconfused	8	652	Jan 4, 2009 by agatha
	Trying to accept son's alcoholism (Preview) Hi, everyone. I am new and just not sure where to turn. My 32 year old son is an alcoholic and does continue to drink. Sometimes he admits he has a problem and is going to stop but never does for very long. His girlfriend is the same way. She is wanting to go to AA meetings and he doesn't. She wants my adv...	ppay	6	5456	Jan 4, 2009 by Mobirdie
	functional alcoholic spouses (Preview) greetings mip family~ I have spent some time with posts from the past on functional alcoholic spouses - I can relate to all of them and also thinking about maresie current post on boundaries. Could be my focus on my own life with functional alcoholic makes me slip back to the its not fair pity party but kn...	ddub	2	1627	Jan 4, 2009 by maresie
	boundaries (Preview) I find myself all the time having to scrutizine all my boundaries and work on limits and looking at my expectations. Every single day I find different ways I've allowed others to broach my boundaries in different ways. As someone who was incredibly codependent I allowed all my boundaries to be broa...	maresie	3	541	Jan 4, 2009 by snowqueen
	People Pleasing a new vantage point (Preview) As I've spoken about often I have moved into a phase of my life where I am constantly assessing my boundaries and working on them. What's come up for me recently is a suprize. I've set in motion a lot of boundaries around being around active alcoholics and addicts. What's a shock to me is that intuitiv...	maresie	6	622	Jan 4, 2009 by snowqueen
	mourning... (Preview) My mother died in Nov of 2006. She was a vicious nasty person to her children but was a good Christian woman to the outside world. She stopped drinking when I was 12 but never attended AA. The day she died my 82 yr old father moved in with me. He's had 6 strokes and cannot live alone. I quit my job as a school bu...	somethingsimple	8	703	Jan 4, 2009 by somethingsimple
	'Gaslight" - the movie (Preview) I've read on more than on occasion on this forum that the movie 'Gaslight' was not to be missed by those of us affected by the 'A' disease. It is on cable today at noon EST on TCM (Turner Classic Movies). May be worth giving it a viewing.	Toto814	0	406	Jan 4, 2009 by Toto814
	I am sick, sick, sick! (Preview) Where can we go to learn to rise above being emotionally abused? Where? Where? I am sick of it! There are so many abusive people out there and I need a way of developing some rhino-skin so that I can deflect it somehow. I really think that once we have been emotionally abused, we somehow draw more of t...	ESH	8	879	Jan 3, 2009 by ESH
	If you have been here, please help me through this.. (Preview) I finally got an apartment. Another that was dropped down from above but even more perfect. A bit closer, lots of land, great people/landlords, private and they don't drink! God did have other plans after the other apt. fell through......I have paid the first month which starts in February. Only a ve...	puzzle	10	738	Jan 3, 2009 by puzzle
	First f2f today (Preview) So I joined here yesterday, went to my first f2f today, when I commit to something, I go all out. I've been very emotional, so was worried about a f2f meeting. Not really comfortable cryng in public! The topic for the day was right on for me......expectations. I'm dealing with my 17 year old son and a...	Maryann1966	7	771	Jan 3, 2009 by DreamsOver
	Why is it sooooooo hard???? Someone PLEASE help me to understand this~ (Preview) I just wish that I could understand WHY IT IS SO HARD to let go of someone and walk away from them after a relationship ends? ExABF-sober in program 10yrs and I split up.....or he split up with me I should say....November 16th. We have stayed in contact and have talked and argued since then....him argui...	shellyj123	12	791	Jan 3, 2009 by JulieSDgirl
	Happy B day (Preview) Happy Birthday to Tiredtonite , Have a good one . A brand new yr - yur gonna find the job of your dreams I just know it . Louise	abbyal	10	640	Jan 2, 2009 by tiredtonite
	One Day, Just Today (Preview) Our son was discharged from a stay in rehab. That night he had 3 friends and alcohol in my parents home where he stays. My parents are now out of town for winter and we went over kicked the kids out, took his keys the house and said he needed to find someplace else to stay. We did so the Alanon way, we told...	luvinmom	2	365	Jan 2, 2009 by missing out
	Working Hard (Preview) My AS is in a free apartment from a friend. It is located in a very bad area, but the apartment is nice. It is close to the court where he is supposed to report daily and close to the addiction day program he is supposed to attend. He has nothing basically. His car was almost totalled and will be repossessed....	Trinia2	3	450	Jan 2, 2009 by maresie
	my pity post (Preview) I've been feeling pretty good lately, as if I may be starting to heal. Then, I talk to my children, and they only see me as flawed. This really presents itself in situations where they aren't getting what they want. I can give and give and give, and then when it is not enough or I screw up, nothing good I ha...	Loupiness	8	724	Jan 2, 2009 by maresie
	Happy New Year! (Preview) (((((Family))))), Just wanted to take a few minutes to wish my loved family here, a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR! Here's hoping it's filled with love, laughter, tons of silliness and serenity. A friend once told me not wish that a year would come to an end, because it will be over before you know it. I understan...	Karilynn	5	571	Jan 2, 2009 by maresie
	Need some advice (Preview) Hello all, I live in a small town that has no Al-anon groups so I'm looking on the Net for some answers. I have a 26 year old son that is an alcoholic and he lives away from home. It is just a matter of time that he will not be able to make it on his own. The question I have is do I take him back in. I have no idea wheth...	AlvinG	10	720	Jan 2, 2009 by maresie
	Introduction (Preview) Hello everyone, I have just discovered this board and am beginning to work on step 1. I just wanted to introduce myself and give a bit of some background info. Thanks in advance to those who read through, I'll make it as brief as I can. My 17 year old son will be turning himself in for probation revocation...	Maryann1966	4	464	Jan 2, 2009 by maresie
	Looking back or looking forward (Preview) Happy New Years (((((my friends))))), This past year I had a calendar that gave me daily reflections and so I thought I'd share some of the really good ones to give consideration to: The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement. Religion is but one tree with many branches. Before you speak,...	Maria123	4	689	Jan 2, 2009 by maresie
	Happy New Year (Preview) Happy New Year, My wish for all of you is health, happiness and most of all serenity throughout this new year. I hope 2009 brings much joy and comfort to all of you wonderful people. Don't forget to hug someone you love.....:) Love ya, Andrea	Andrea12	5	529	Jan 2, 2009 by maresie
	alateen (Preview) the following is a letter i received a few years back from a 15 year old girl Dear Eddie alateen is where i go to let off steam. it helps to think there is other people out there that know exactly what i am going through i get mad really easy i hate getting angry it makes me feel unclean i hate the way mum gets rea...	luckyeddie	3	519	Jan 2, 2009 by debilyn
	Does Alanon literature exist in electronic format? (Preview) Hi everyone, first of all Happy New Year! I hope 2009 is a year of peace, health, and serenity for everyone in this community. Question - has anyone found a source of Alanon literature (e.g. Courage to Change, ODAT, How Alanon Works, etc.) in electronic format ? I have these books and others in the usual...	LG	3	5046	Jan 1, 2009 by LG
	Encourzged by the incredible journeys and the miracles happening in this family... (Preview) As you are aware, I have been away from this board for a while, however, it is simply incredible to see the journeys some of our family are making and the miracles that have taken place during this holiday in particular. I feel so encouraged and blessed by each one that I have read of and it makes my heart si...	Suzannah	2	364	Jan 1, 2009 by Maria123
	I went to the doctor (Preview) I managed to get myself in to the doctor today to have her check the lump I had found under my arm .. She checked it out and mentioned she could feel what I was feeling but mentioned also that I do have a muscleband there. She mentioned she felt the lymphnode areas and didn't seem to think there was any swelli...	hope for me n you	4	511	Jan 1, 2009 by Maria123
	Thank you.... (Preview) I just wanted to take a minute and wish ALL OF YOU a Very Happy New Years, and hope that you all have a wonderful day, and that you are all safe...Thanks so much for excepting me into your group... Already it has been a blessing just knowing that I am NOT alone...And Not Going Crazy...lol... So Please be sa...	missing out	3	541	Jan 1, 2009 by Maria123
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.