The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
If I am undecided about asking it probably means that in my heart I know the right answer. My son was discharged from rehab on some meds, campral, naloxone & antabuse. He got a 90 day supply since he knew his insurance would end.
I know I should be detaching... but still want to be engaged & supportive. Should I ask if he's taking his meds? Would he tell me the truth? He had originally said that following his inpatient stay, he'd like to continue with Intenstive Outpatient Therapy. Of course I want to see him in IOP. He's done Inpatient twice now, and this would be his second in IOP.
By making a COBRA payment ($400) for the month + copays he could complete IOP. But if he's not following his original discharge instructions, how awful am I to say that I will not pay for IOP? I know that he cannot afford to pay the insurance.
But am I creating a crisis? Or making him accountable? Inside I feel horrible to make it about money, but rehab has already cost $800. He resists taking any meds at all so I don't think it's coming to terms with "rehab meds".
I don't know that any of us can "make" someone take their medication. Is there a way that your son can qualify for some program where he gets his meds. I'm not sure why he went to rehab but some programs come with with built in insurance.
For me personally I had to detach from an alcoholic. I have to do that personally daily. It is too hard to watch someone train wreck their lives. Of course if someone is your child and still have some responsibility towards them finanically you have to choose the boundaires. I know there are many many people in al anon who have been through this. One other thing I would highly recommend is to see a counselor. Being around an active alcoholic is hard on you. I appreciate all this takes effort and you feel he is the one with the problem but you would be doing all this for yourself not to support him.
Maresie.
Getting them sober the book is an excellent read as are any texts on codependence.
