Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Iamhere · Iamhere

Hey MIP Family - Over the past few years, as my Son's addiction has progressed, I have been unable to look at family and baby photos. We repainted the largest areas of our home 3-4 years ago, and never put the photos back up. We've got some in other areas of the home and I do my best to avert my glaze. The pho...

Rora · Rora

I was reading the post linked to the Times Article "Our Mother's Drinking was Wrecking us".... and I thought, "even if they're not drinking, they can still wreck (us)" My exaH insists on caring for our 5 yr old child on Tuesdays. Before he goes for work on afternoons exaH bring...

KRS · KRS

I am new to this forum and am new to Al-Anon so please help me find a way to work through this initial sharing. My daughter is my "A" and has been been living with us for the last 4 years on and off between rehab and sober living....she has been home for the last 3 months and finds every opportunity...

Suzannah · Suzannah

It may be the sickness that is responsible for this, they do say that Shingles brings on depression, or it may be a turn of events that simply brings my brain back to a negative point; I don't really understand. So, why have I once again found myself travelling the lonely path of self destruction by simpl...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

My current job is a very emotionally abusive environment. I realize the need to remain there for the financial benefits - obviously- so I try to endure what I can but, day by day it becomes harder for me to remain the passive individual I am required to be in order NOT to make waves in my company. I know I've...

Maria123 · Maria123

Can anyone share their experience and knowledge of 13 stepping? I thought I understood it but am not sure any more. It seems to be a common theme I am seeing in Alanon and I have such mixed thoughts about it. I lost my sponsor (understandably so) because she and her husband whom she met in Alanon broke up...

Jozie · Jozie

Anxiety N Me... This is something I have Fought dang near, All My Life... I remember growing up, and I went from a lit. Farm Girl, up till age 9 that is.... When My parents would fight before we left, I remember being scared to death to Move when i was in bed & could hear them screaming at each other, Most...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I was listening to another person sharing their recovery and perspective and they commented on the practice of loving with detachment which caused me to be hooked on the realization that I had always heard and had come to learn and practice detachment with love. Detachment with love was the third an...

miss lucy · miss lucy

well......we have had a lovely day...shopping together, eating a meal, sitting talking, walking the dog....you know....nice, calm every day stuff. then he just couldnt resist spoiling it!!! We were talking about the impact of us splitting up. He said he missed me terribly,,,realised he had t...

meagain · meagain

I was going to start this new year - just starting to end the 'drama' in my life and look after me-this is my year-I am turning 60 and I so many health problems and need to get in shape and lose weight. But its sooo hard for me to try and look after me! I get so caught up in other peoples drama (family). For one th...

Codependent · Codependent

So the A sent me a picture of a sunrise on the ocean this morning- his view- with the caption "Have a great day!" While this should have been nice, it only irritated me that while I was running his child to school and late for a morning meeting at work, he was watching the sunrise on the beach con...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Thanks to all who replied to my post both publicly and privately. All of your responses had a common theme which ultimately reinforces the lesson I've been having to keep learning lately - I simply can't expect rational behavior from an active A. I will not be confronting him with his unacceptable b...

pineapple · pineapple

OK, I will say that my life has gotten calmer now that I'm learning to take care of ME. I'm beginning to wonder how well I can really do that with Ah in my life. In the past year I've thought numerous times of telling him he has to leave. But we cannot afford two households, we're barely making it holding one...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

For those of you who have been following... my position is that I have put my daughter and her much older boyfriend in a position of getting married or him going to jail. They chose to get married and I was going to allow this. Since that time there have been unbelievable obstacles thrown out by his pare...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning family. I am happy to report that yesterday was event free. We did not see the police, the emergency room, the diversion officer - and I am really, really grateful. There were opportunities for me to react, and I chose to do so very differently. I read here yesterday about addiction to ch...

Codependent · Codependent

Got a text from the A yesterday that he needed to ask me for a favor. For him, that is usually the same thing- money. So, I just ignored it. He called last night and I didn't answer. This morning he kept sending texts.."hello??" So I responded with good morning. He then texted " I wa...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I haven't been by much the past week or so and for that I apologize. Reading here or there but struggling again with medical issues, so not here as much as I would like to be. Last Tuesday I was diagnosed with PTSD as a result of my last surgery. The Dr prescribed Lexapro for the anxiety and Xanax to help me...

Diva · Diva

TTReply Quote "... its okay to have balance in the process and there is no way to surgically remove emotions and thoughts unless you consider a frontal lobotomy." Thank you Jerry. These are precisely the words I have wanted to hear spoken on this forum. I have always felt it is AlAnon's wa...

ARSK · ARSK

Hi, I am doing my recovery and am in the early stages. In the process I have lost nearly anyone that was pretty much unhealthy, which was most everyone. Starting with my A Stepfather and my codependent mother. Got married and had a disagreement, more or less my A stepfather threw a tantrum and I refus...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I had mentioned in an earlier post that I need a break from my AH. He's in jail for 45 days and I feel like I've talked to him and seen him more the past 2 weeks (since he's been in) than I have the past 2 months when he wasn't in jail. Anyway, I had to take him to/from work the past few days and it always felt like s...

maresie · maresie

When I am dealing with an active alcoholic I often get caught up with their words rather than their actions. I know I need to evaluate their actions rather than their words which can become a huge hook into resentment, frustration and compulsion. For example the man who recently came to work in my depa...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I think I've finally decided on a person who I would like to be my sponsor. Now the question is, do I ask her in person, over the phone, or via e-mail? I'd hate to put her on the spot, but I also think she works her program so well that if she had to think about it or pray about it she would be upfront with me and t...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

I am getting to know my friend Lia and she is WONDERFUL. She has been opening up to me and sharing her life issues and her own wounds as well as identifying with mine. It feels so good to be able to help her and to be helped by her. I am so used to the drama of an empty, dry well of a relationship with a practicing a...

Festfan · Festfan

Seriously... We got into it after he was a complete GROUCH all weekend - I think because he was actually not drinking when we were out. But everything irritated him. I really wanted to throttle him. So today we start talking about it and I object to how he acted all weekend and I decided to spend the day a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I never know if it's a good thing or not, but I'm one to share, openly, often and for purpose - to get it out. I am so grateful to have a place to share, and know that I won't be judged, my family won't be judged and I can 'dump' and work on healing. I've made stopping hear to get ESH my 2nd task of each day recently...

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I don't know if I have shared on here before about this - but I suffer from my own self-destructive behaviors that are not substance related, but act to numb and control feelings the same way that drugs and alcohol do. I have been in deep denial about having a problem - believing I wasn't "sick"...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Dear ____, The time has come for me to communicate with you about some behavior that I find unacceptable and define the consequences of this behavior should you continue to perpetuate it. It is unacceptable for you to share intimate details of my past behavior with our 19 year old son, even if it's und...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm having the hardest time of my life right now. I feel like I'm lost, desperate, hopeless and there is no good solution to my problems. The situation with my oldest daughter is horriffic, there is no win here, I have set events into motion that I can't reverse and I can't live with her and can't live wi...

Sam72 · Sam72

My A and I just had yet another fight, I'm crying as I sit and write this. I have only been with him for a little over two years. He was married and in a relationship with his wife for almost twenty years. Every time we have a fight he accuses me of doing the things she did. I cant take it any more. He yells at me to...

Sam72 · Sam72

Hi can someone please tell me where I can read what the 12 steps are. I checked the step work board, but I cant see it there. Would appreciate some help please. Thanx

HawkRN · HawkRN

Hi, I am pretty new at dealing with my feelings about my Abf. So, I need some advice. He has been texting/calling this girl, who he says is just a friend. Well, I am pretty uncomfortable about this & we spoke about it when he was sober & I told him how uncomfortable I am with it & he agreed to d...

lmw · lmw

Just got a message from ex-AH (I didn't pick up the phone when he called). He'd been sober maybe 60 days (I don't count any more) and picked up again on Friday. He was supposed to go see his family by bus around Christmas, but weather prevented the trip. The bus line refunded the money to my account, sin...

Jozie · Jozie

Hi MIP... (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))) As Most that know me, no that in the summers we have a place down at the river we go...Well being by the river it is indeed in a "Flood Zone" and we normally pull all things out by the end of Sept, but this year, My Husband used our camper to stay in...

Wolfie · Wolfie

Hi. How you all doing? My wife Nancy and I were regular attendees here at MIP a few years back. We've been away for a while, involved in other aspects of recovery, but through a series of coincidences we have returned to Miracles in Progress. Since coming back, we have met many old friends and made some ne...

ARSK · ARSK

Hi,I am a little lost. Could someone please tell me what ESH means?Thanks,Alicia

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I have been feeling a little "unsafe" lately - allowing, my ex-bf to emotionally get close to me. Discussing the need not to be together - understanding the need to work on ourselves, but also struggling to let go of expectations. I offered to help him get some sidework through my company. I...

Ness · Ness

This article was in the Times newspaper today.....may be of interest to some. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/features/article7002002.eceAt long last in one part of the UK the effect on children of a parent drinking is being recognised..... and addressed........

miss lucy · miss lucy

AH went to the doctor's today... the doctor told him that he was quite mad. AH asked for a second opinion........ the doctor said. "ok...you are stupid as well"! AH asked me if i could cut his sandwich for him...sure says I...would you like it cut into two pieces or four? AH replied .....

idontknow · idontknow

Every day I learn more and more what step one is, and for the first time I feel more at peace about it. The biggest struggle for me is taking that with me wherever I go. I am so good at "covering up" everything, that even when I'm somewhere I can get help, I still wear that "everything is fine...

Not2bforgot10 · Not2bforgot10

I wanted to let everybody know that I will be moving from my home where I have lived the last 3 years... I am absolutely devastated. A series of events have happened to where I have come to the conclusion that I cannot stay here. Burlington, VT is too expensive for me with my student loans now taking effe...

Jerry F · Jerry F

No not a post...a title of a book that I don't remember mentioning to this fellowship. Under the Influence is one of the text we used in the college in went to and to study alcoholism and addictions. (Didn't trust the program to be complete with me...wrong!!) Any how it is a masterpiece by Dr. James R. Mil...

Not2bforgot10 · Not2bforgot10

Hi, my name is Emily. I am 25 years old. I am part of the Alanon Miracles in Progress Community and am looking for a 12-stepper or otherwise HEALTHY individual/living space (physical) to stay with for 6-12 solid months beginning sometime in April or May. I am straight-edge and do not use substance of a...

intothewoods · intothewoods

So I have kind of a weird problem. I am doing pretty good at detaching from my AH when he's drunk. I see a beer in his hand, and think "It's the disease talking!" and I'm A-OK. I can ignore the bad stuff and laugh at the fun stuff. But when he's sober, I find myself reacting and mirroring his mood an...

Codependent · Codependent

First of all, let me say that I really loved reading the enabling posts. I have found myself stepping over boundaries a lot here lately both in my professional and personal life. I am a social worker and I keep putting myself- as they say with good intentions- into situations that perhaps I do not have...

Codependent · Codependent

So, I'm not sure if I ever posted that the A is actually gonna be living in Florida after rehab. So that adds another dimension to our relationship. My therapist thinks I should completely cut off the relationship as he had pictures of his ex from 6 years ago out before he left for rehab and maybe he is on...

maresie · maresie

Six months ago I had a check stolen and to date I still have not had it replaced. I have no idea who took the check but have an idea it was someone with an active addiciton who took an opportunity and ran with it. Someday I may know I don't hold out for that information anymore. I do know its been months of ph...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I woke up this morning, and have an upset tummy and a bit of what usually comes with that. Also, my hands are a bit shaky - so I just don't feel 'right' physically. Might this be from trying to not react and change how I respond? I honestly don't know if I am getting sick or if my body is speaking to me in anoth...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband has been in jail for almost 2 weeks now and I feel like I've seen him and talked to him ore these past 2 weeks than I have the past 2 months. He calls every day and now that he's doing his work-release, he want us to visit him at work. Also, he just ran into a little road block where he can't drive to/...

Sangyaa · Sangyaa

My addict boyfriend, who I live with and have been through everything with this past year, pawned everything of value I own yesterday, intending to go on a heroin binge. I got home, found it all gone, him with it, and a cocky little note- "Sorry babe, love ya". After months of skirting the iss...

RSFleishm · RSFleishm

I am not sure if I am posting in the right area as I am new to this website but I hope that someone might be able to give me some direction as to where to go or some advice as to what I should do. My father in law is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober since before I knew him (about 5 years). We just found out l...

miss lucy · miss lucy

Well my AH never ceases to amaze me.... we had a really great day today. although still living apart we are communicating well and meeting up occassionally so that i can help him with form filling etc (this is part of our separation agreement and i am ok with that because of his illiteracy). Any way......

Peggy7 · Peggy7

How To Plant Your Garden FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING,PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS: 1. Peace of mind 2. Peace of heart 3. Peace of soul PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH: 1. Squash gossip 2. Squash indifference 3. Squash grumbling 4. Squash selfishness PLANT FOUR ROWS OF LETTUCE: 1. Lettuce be faithfu...

Codependent · Codependent

It seems at work that I have a tendency to step in when I see things going wrong that I step up and take care of it- often into other people's departments-particularly nursing. However, i am a social worker and as a patient advocate this does go to part of my job description. Needless to say this does not...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Well dear family, Just when I thought I was doing so well this winter I am hit with a really toughie. I have shingles and it is quite bad. So, my immune system is not what it should be regardless of staying away from the steroids since May of last year. Feeling pretty poorly and so it is a bit of a down hill str...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband is serving 45 days in jail for a DUI - he is on a work-release program. He can drive himself to/from work. Unfortunately he just found out that they may not let him do that because the DMV has started the process to suspend his driver's license. A lot of people in jail take the bus to/from work, b...

MaryPoppins · MaryPoppins

WOW! I wish there was an icon for smacking my head, since that is what I am doing right now! LOL! I guess now I know why people say alanoners also have relapses, because I just had a HUGE one!!! What was I doing going by what my A says about AA anyway? I have never been to an AA meeting, I should have NEVER let...

pineapple · pineapple

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Ferny · Ferny

Long time browser, first time poster. I guess I just need any advice or comfort that people throw at me. Background on me: never had personal experience with alcoholism until now, except in distant and dead relatives. I recently became engaged to a very nice man. We are very compatible in basic valu...

bessie · bessie

This is my first attempt to seek out advice on what I've known has been a problem for several years now. My brother, who lives in Las Vegas (I am in NY), and who has been in a relationship for over 30 years, has been drinking regularly and more and more heavily. His partner asked me for help a little over a y...

intothewoods · intothewoods

I discovered a new term! "gas lighting" or one word, "gaslighting". (from Wikipedia) "Gaslighting is a form of intimidation or psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory and perception. The classic e...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Emotional Triggers - Family/Baby Photos...Need some ESH (Preview) Hey MIP Family - Over the past few years, as my Son's addiction has progressed, I have been unable to look at family and baby photos. We repainted the largest areas of our home 3-4 years ago, and never put the photos back up. We've got some in other areas of the home and I do my best to avert my glaze. The pho...	Iamhere	6	1364	Jan 30, 2010 by Iamhere
	I need some ESH please.... (Preview) I was reading the post linked to the Times Article "Our Mother's Drinking was Wrecking us".... and I thought, "even if they're not drinking, they can still wreck (us)" My exaH insists on caring for our 5 yr old child on Tuesdays. Before he goes for work on afternoons exaH bring...	Rora	9	1012	Jan 30, 2010 by Rora
	Don't know where to turn (Preview) I am new to this forum and am new to Al-Anon so please help me find a way to work through this initial sharing. My daughter is my "A" and has been been living with us for the last 4 years on and off between rehab and sober living....she has been home for the last 3 months and finds every opportunity...	KRS	6	796	Jan 29, 2010 by Rocky38
	That old demon rears his head once more... (Preview) It may be the sickness that is responsible for this, they do say that Shingles brings on depression, or it may be a turn of events that simply brings my brain back to a negative point; I don't really understand. So, why have I once again found myself travelling the lonely path of self destruction by simpl...	Suzannah	5	854	Jan 29, 2010 by glad lee
	Believing in Myself (Preview) My current job is a very emotionally abusive environment. I realize the need to remain there for the financial benefits - obviously- so I try to endure what I can but, day by day it becomes harder for me to remain the passive individual I am required to be in order NOT to make waves in my company. I know I've...	RunnerChick	6	583	Jan 29, 2010 by Iamhere
	13 Stepping (Preview) Can anyone share their experience and knowledge of 13 stepping? I thought I understood it but am not sure any more. It seems to be a common theme I am seeing in Alanon and I have such mixed thoughts about it. I lost my sponsor (understandably so) because she and her husband whom she met in Alanon broke up...	Maria123	10	4861	Jan 29, 2010 by idontknow
	Anxiety N Me...Hard reality... (Preview) Anxiety N Me... This is something I have Fought dang near, All My Life... I remember growing up, and I went from a lit. Farm Girl, up till age 9 that is.... When My parents would fight before we left, I remember being scared to death to Move when i was in bed & could hear them screaming at each other, Most...	Jozie	3	938	Jan 29, 2010 by ARSK
	A thoughtful twist on a recovery lesson (Preview) I was listening to another person sharing their recovery and perspective and they commented on the practice of loving with detachment which caused me to be hooked on the realization that I had always heard and had come to learn and practice detachment with love. Detachment with love was the third an...	Jerry F	7	992	Jan 29, 2010 by Andrea12
	AH gave me an ultimatum!!! (Preview) well......we have had a lovely day...shopping together, eating a meal, sitting talking, walking the dog....you know....nice, calm every day stuff. then he just couldnt resist spoiling it!!! We were talking about the impact of us splitting up. He said he missed me terribly,,,realised he had t...	miss lucy	6	984	Jan 29, 2010 by blender_girl
	A 'New' Year (Preview) I was going to start this new year - just starting to end the 'drama' in my life and look after me-this is my year-I am turning 60 and I so many health problems and need to get in shape and lose weight. But its sooo hard for me to try and look after me! I get so caught up in other peoples drama (family). For one th...	meagain	3	835	Jan 29, 2010 by RunnerChick
	More resentment.... (Preview) So the A sent me a picture of a sunrise on the ocean this morning- his view- with the caption "Have a great day!" While this should have been nice, it only irritated me that while I was running his child to school and late for a morning meeting at work, he was watching the sunrise on the beach con...	Codependent	10	930	Jan 29, 2010 by BatonRougian
	Feeling Better today (Preview) Thanks to all who replied to my post both publicly and privately. All of your responses had a common theme which ultimately reinforces the lesson I've been having to keep learning lately - I simply can't expect rational behavior from an active A. I will not be confronting him with his unacceptable b...	blender_girl	3	607	Jan 28, 2010 by Rocky38
	dont know how much more I can take (Preview) OK, I will say that my life has gotten calmer now that I'm learning to take care of ME. I'm beginning to wonder how well I can really do that with Ah in my life. In the past year I've thought numerous times of telling him he has to leave. But we cannot afford two households, we're barely making it holding one...	pineapple	3	809	Jan 28, 2010 by Rocky38
	Today is a new day (Preview) For those of you who have been following... my position is that I have put my daughter and her much older boyfriend in a position of getting married or him going to jail. They chose to get married and I was going to allow this. Since that time there have been unbelievable obstacles thrown out by his pare...	carolinagirl	7	639	Jan 28, 2010 by Tenderheartsks
	Happy To Report ..... Grounded in the Moment (Preview) Good morning family. I am happy to report that yesterday was event free. We did not see the police, the emergency room, the diversion officer - and I am really, really grateful. There were opportunities for me to react, and I chose to do so very differently. I read here yesterday about addiction to ch...	Iamhere	5	999	Jan 28, 2010 by Ness
	He asked me for money... (Preview) Got a text from the A yesterday that he needed to ask me for a favor. For him, that is usually the same thing- money. So, I just ignored it. He called last night and I didn't answer. This morning he kept sending texts.."hello??" So I responded with good morning. He then texted " I wa...	Codependent	9	662	Jan 28, 2010 by Ness
	Control V/S Self Care..... (Preview) I haven't been by much the past week or so and for that I apologize. Reading here or there but struggling again with medical issues, so not here as much as I would like to be. Last Tuesday I was diagnosed with PTSD as a result of my last surgery. The Dr prescribed Lexapro for the anxiety and Xanax to help me...	shellyj123	2	701	Jan 28, 2010 by Iamhere
	Thanks Jerry... (Preview) TTReply Quote "... its okay to have balance in the process and there is no way to surgically remove emotions and thoughts unless you consider a frontal lobotomy." Thank you Jerry. These are precisely the words I have wanted to hear spoken on this forum. I have always felt it is AlAnon's wa...	Diva	2	752	Jan 28, 2010 by Tattyhead
	Finding Healthy Friends and Maintaining Relationships (Preview) Hi, I am doing my recovery and am in the early stages. In the process I have lost nearly anyone that was pretty much unhealthy, which was most everyone. Starting with my A Stepfather and my codependent mother. Got married and had a disagreement, more or less my A stepfather threw a tantrum and I refus...	ARSK	7	1335	Jan 28, 2010 by Iamhere
	Our Selfish Program (Preview) I had mentioned in an earlier post that I need a break from my AH. He's in jail for 45 days and I feel like I've talked to him and seen him more the past 2 weeks (since he's been in) than I have the past 2 months when he wasn't in jail. Anyway, I had to take him to/from work the past few days and it always felt like s...	N8SMOM	8	1380	Jan 28, 2010 by Iamhere
	Action versus words (Preview) When I am dealing with an active alcoholic I often get caught up with their words rather than their actions. I know I need to evaluate their actions rather than their words which can become a huge hook into resentment, frustration and compulsion. For example the man who recently came to work in my depa...	maresie	4	732	Jan 28, 2010 by Iamhere
	Sponsor Question (Preview) I think I've finally decided on a person who I would like to be my sponsor. Now the question is, do I ask her in person, over the phone, or via e-mail? I'd hate to put her on the spot, but I also think she works her program so well that if she had to think about it or pray about it she would be upfront with me and t...	N8SMOM	3	615	Jan 27, 2010 by CJ
	withdrawal from drama---feels so weird (Preview) I am getting to know my friend Lia and she is WONDERFUL. She has been opening up to me and sharing her life issues and her own wounds as well as identifying with mine. It feels so good to be able to help her and to be helped by her. I am so used to the drama of an empty, dry well of a relationship with a practicing a...	Carol_Lynn	3	850	Jan 27, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	My ABF thinks the solution is ... for me to give up CARBS!?!? (Preview) Seriously... We got into it after he was a complete GROUCH all weekend - I think because he was actually not drinking when we were out. But everything irritated him. I really wanted to throttle him. So today we start talking about it and I object to how he acted all weekend and I decided to spend the day a...	Festfan	9	845	Jan 27, 2010 by Festfan
	The Needle and The Spoon ... Making Sense of it All (Preview) I never know if it's a good thing or not, but I'm one to share, openly, often and for purpose - to get it out. I am so grateful to have a place to share, and know that I won't be judged, my family won't be judged and I can 'dump' and work on healing. I've made stopping hear to get ESH my 2nd task of each day recently...	Iamhere	9	753	Jan 27, 2010 by Loupiness
	Getting Help for myself (Preview) I don't know if I have shared on here before about this - but I suffer from my own self-destructive behaviors that are not substance related, but act to numb and control feelings the same way that drugs and alcohol do. I have been in deep denial about having a problem - believing I wasn't "sick"...	RunnerChick	3	840	Jan 27, 2010 by intothewoods
	Another Letter to my AH (Preview) Dear ____, The time has come for me to communicate with you about some behavior that I find unacceptable and define the consequences of this behavior should you continue to perpetuate it. It is unacceptable for you to share intimate details of my past behavior with our 19 year old son, even if it's und...	blender_girl	2	804	Jan 27, 2010 by maresie
	Hardest time of my life (Preview) I'm having the hardest time of my life right now. I feel like I'm lost, desperate, hopeless and there is no good solution to my problems. The situation with my oldest daughter is horriffic, there is no win here, I have set events into motion that I can't reverse and I can't live with her and can't live wi...	carolinagirl	9	1154	Jan 27, 2010 by RunnerChick
	Sick of being accused of things I havn't done. (Preview) My A and I just had yet another fight, I'm crying as I sit and write this. I have only been with him for a little over two years. He was married and in a relationship with his wife for almost twenty years. Every time we have a fight he accuses me of doing the things she did. I cant take it any more. He yells at me to...	Sam72	7	3106	Jan 27, 2010 by RunnerChick
	12 Steps (Preview) Hi can someone please tell me where I can read what the 12 steps are. I checked the step work board, but I cant see it there. Would appreciate some help please. Thanx	Sam72	3	939	Jan 27, 2010 by Sam72
	I need some advice (Preview) Hi, I am pretty new at dealing with my feelings about my Abf. So, I need some advice. He has been texting/calling this girl, who he says is just a friend. Well, I am pretty uncomfortable about this & we spoke about it when he was sober & I told him how uncomfortable I am with it & he agreed to d...	HawkRN	5	776	Jan 27, 2010 by RLC
	Some things never change... (Preview) Just got a message from ex-AH (I didn't pick up the phone when he called). He'd been sober maybe 60 days (I don't count any more) and picked up again on Friday. He was supposed to go see his family by bus around Christmas, but weather prevented the trip. The bus line refunded the money to my account, sin...	lmw	2	664	Jan 27, 2010 by blender_girl
	Growth, Or So It Seems... (Preview) Hi MIP... (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))) As Most that know me, no that in the summers we have a place down at the river we go...Well being by the river it is indeed in a "Flood Zone" and we normally pull all things out by the end of Sept, but this year, My Husband used our camper to stay in...	Jozie	6	816	Jan 27, 2010 by Jozie
	Just Wanted to say Thanks (Preview) Hi. How you all doing? My wife Nancy and I were regular attendees here at MIP a few years back. We've been away for a while, involved in other aspects of recovery, but through a series of coincidences we have returned to Miracles in Progress. Since coming back, we have met many old friends and made some ne...	Wolfie	2	594	Jan 27, 2010 by kitty
	ESH (Preview) Hi,I am a little lost. Could someone please tell me what ESH means?Thanks,Alicia	ARSK	2	773	Jan 27, 2010 by ARSK
	Hurt (Preview) I have been feeling a little "unsafe" lately - allowing, my ex-bf to emotionally get close to me. Discussing the need not to be together - understanding the need to work on ourselves, but also struggling to let go of expectations. I offered to help him get some sidework through my company. I...	RunnerChick	7	821	Jan 27, 2010 by Karilynn
	Times newspaper article today (Preview) This article was in the Times newspaper today.....may be of interest to some. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/features/article7002002.eceAt long last in one part of the UK the effect on children of a parent drinking is being recognised..... and addressed........	Ness	5	991	Jan 27, 2010 by Ness
	just having a laugh!!!! (Preview) AH went to the doctor's today... the doctor told him that he was quite mad. AH asked for a second opinion........ the doctor said. "ok...you are stupid as well"! AH asked me if i could cut his sandwich for him...sure says I...would you like it cut into two pieces or four? AH replied .....	miss lucy	3	717	Jan 27, 2010 by Suzi1965
	step one (Preview) Every day I learn more and more what step one is, and for the first time I feel more at peace about it. The biggest struggle for me is taking that with me wherever I go. I am so good at "covering up" everything, that even when I'm somewhere I can get help, I still wear that "everything is fine...	idontknow	4	672	Jan 27, 2010 by Jerry F
	Moving... grief (Preview) I wanted to let everybody know that I will be moving from my home where I have lived the last 3 years... I am absolutely devastated. A series of events have happened to where I have come to the conclusion that I cannot stay here. Burlington, VT is too expensive for me with my student loans now taking effe...	Not2bforgot10	3	788	Jan 26, 2010 by nmike
	Under the Influence. (Preview) No not a post...a title of a book that I don't remember mentioning to this fellowship. Under the Influence is one of the text we used in the college in went to and to study alcoholism and addictions. (Didn't trust the program to be complete with me...wrong!!) Any how it is a masterpiece by Dr. James R. Mil...	Jerry F	7	1045	Jan 26, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Wanted: Board/Room w/a 12-Stepper! (Preview) Hi, my name is Emily. I am 25 years old. I am part of the Alanon Miracles in Progress Community and am looking for a 12-stepper or otherwise HEALTHY individual/living space (physical) to stay with for 6-12 solid months beginning sometime in April or May. I am straight-edge and do not use substance of a...	Not2bforgot10	9	864	Jan 26, 2010 by Aloha
	detaching when they're sober (Preview) So I have kind of a weird problem. I am doing pretty good at detaching from my AH when he's drunk. I see a beer in his hand, and think "It's the disease talking!" and I'm A-OK. I can ignore the bad stuff and laugh at the fun stuff. But when he's sober, I find myself reacting and mirroring his mood an...	intothewoods	9	1201	Jan 26, 2010 by idontknow
	Jealous of the Addict in Rehab...Feedback Please... (Preview) First of all, let me say that I really loved reading the enabling posts. I have found myself stepping over boundaries a lot here lately both in my professional and personal life. I am a social worker and I keep putting myself- as they say with good intentions- into situations that perhaps I do not have...	Codependent	7	798	Jan 26, 2010 by RunnerChick
	I know that I am posting a lot but never had an A actually in Rehab- Sorry... (Preview) So, I'm not sure if I ever posted that the A is actually gonna be living in Florida after rehab. So that adds another dimension to our relationship. My therapist thinks I should completely cut off the relationship as he had pictures of his ex from 6 years ago out before he left for rehab and maybe he is on...	Codependent	3	631	Jan 26, 2010 by RunnerChick
	then and now (Preview) Six months ago I had a check stolen and to date I still have not had it replaced. I have no idea who took the check but have an idea it was someone with an active addiciton who took an opportunity and ran with it. Someday I may know I don't hold out for that information anymore. I do know its been months of ph...	maresie	5	655	Jan 26, 2010 by maresie
	Physical Illness by Changing? - any input welcome (Preview) I woke up this morning, and have an upset tummy and a bit of what usually comes with that. Also, my hands are a bit shaky - so I just don't feel 'right' physically. Might this be from trying to not react and change how I respond? I honestly don't know if I am getting sick or if my body is speaking to me in anoth...	Iamhere	8	845	Jan 26, 2010 by Iamhere
	I need a break from my AH (Preview) My husband has been in jail for almost 2 weeks now and I feel like I've seen him and talked to him ore these past 2 weeks than I have the past 2 months. He calls every day and now that he's doing his work-release, he want us to visit him at work. Also, he just ran into a little road block where he can't drive to/...	N8SMOM	4	899	Jan 26, 2010 by Iamhere
	I finally left him and I'm scared. (Preview) My addict boyfriend, who I live with and have been through everything with this past year, pawned everything of value I own yesterday, intending to go on a heroin binge. I got home, found it all gone, him with it, and a cocky little note- "Sorry babe, love ya". After months of skirting the iss...	Sangyaa	9	861	Jan 26, 2010 by Iamhere
	Need some advice and help (Preview) I am not sure if I am posting in the right area as I am new to this website but I hope that someone might be able to give me some direction as to where to go or some advice as to what I should do. My father in law is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober since before I knew him (about 5 years). We just found out l...	RSFleishm	7	839	Jan 26, 2010 by Iamhere
	I THOUGHT I'D HEARD IT ALL!!!! (Preview) Well my AH never ceases to amaze me.... we had a really great day today. although still living apart we are communicating well and meeting up occassionally so that i can help him with form filling etc (this is part of our separation agreement and i am ok with that because of his illiteracy). Any way......	miss lucy	9	974	Jan 26, 2010 by Iamhere
	How To Plant Your Garden (Preview) How To Plant Your Garden FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING,PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS: 1. Peace of mind 2. Peace of heart 3. Peace of soul PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH: 1. Squash gossip 2. Squash indifference 3. Squash grumbling 4. Squash selfishness PLANT FOUR ROWS OF LETTUCE: 1. Lettuce be faithfu...	Peggy7	3	1367	Jan 26, 2010 by Iamhere
	What do I exhibit that result in people giving me all the work and the resenting me for it? (Preview) It seems at work that I have a tendency to step in when I see things going wrong that I step up and take care of it- often into other people's departments-particularly nursing. However, i am a social worker and as a patient advocate this does go to part of my job description. Needless to say this does not...	Codependent	7	831	Jan 25, 2010 by Codependent
	Not out of the woods yet (Preview) Well dear family, Just when I thought I was doing so well this winter I am hit with a really toughie. I have shingles and it is quite bad. So, my immune system is not what it should be regardless of staying away from the steroids since May of last year. Feeling pretty poorly and so it is a bit of a down hill str...	Suzannah	6	970	Jan 25, 2010 by maresie
	Is this enabling? (Preview) My husband is serving 45 days in jail for a DUI - he is on a work-release program. He can drive himself to/from work. Unfortunately he just found out that they may not let him do that because the DMV has started the process to suspend his driver's license. A lot of people in jail take the bus to/from work, b...	N8SMOM	10	844	Jan 25, 2010 by kmarty
	A V-8 Moment (closed) (Preview) WOW! I wish there was an icon for smacking my head, since that is what I am doing right now! LOL! I guess now I know why people say alanoners also have relapses, because I just had a HUGE one!!! What was I doing going by what my A says about AA anyway? I have never been to an AA meeting, I should have NEVER let...	MaryPoppins	20	1646	Jan 25, 2010 by John
	lost it last night (Preview) <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-fami...	pineapple	12	1059	Jan 25, 2010 by Debilyn
	Scared about our engagement (super long-- sorry) (Preview) Long time browser, first time poster. I guess I just need any advice or comfort that people throw at me. Background on me: never had personal experience with alcoholism until now, except in distant and dead relatives. I recently became engaged to a very nice man. We are very compatible in basic valu...	Ferny	9	855	Jan 25, 2010 by maresie
	long distance help for sibling...what can I do? (Preview) This is my first attempt to seek out advice on what I've known has been a problem for several years now. My brother, who lives in Las Vegas (I am in NY), and who has been in a relationship for over 30 years, has been drinking regularly and more and more heavily. His partner asked me for help a little over a y...	bessie	5	719	Jan 25, 2010 by bessie
	New term: gaslighting (Preview) I discovered a new term! "gas lighting" or one word, "gaslighting". (from Wikipedia) "Gaslighting is a form of intimidation or psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory and perception. The classic e...	intothewoods	6	4020	Jan 25, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.