Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

blender_girl · blender_girl

Dear ____, The time has come for me to communicate with you about some behavior that I find unacceptable and define the consequences of this behavior should you continue to perpetuate it. It is unacceptable for you to share intimate details of my past behavior with our 19 year old son, even if it's und...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm having the hardest time of my life right now. I feel like I'm lost, desperate, hopeless and there is no good solution to my problems. The situation with my oldest daughter is horriffic, there is no win here, I have set events into motion that I can't reverse and I can't live with her and can't live wi...

Sam72 · Sam72

My A and I just had yet another fight, I'm crying as I sit and write this. I have only been with him for a little over two years. He was married and in a relationship with his wife for almost twenty years. Every time we have a fight he accuses me of doing the things she did. I cant take it any more. He yells at me to...

Sam72 · Sam72

Hi can someone please tell me where I can read what the 12 steps are. I checked the step work board, but I cant see it there. Would appreciate some help please. Thanx

HawkRN · HawkRN

Hi, I am pretty new at dealing with my feelings about my Abf. So, I need some advice. He has been texting/calling this girl, who he says is just a friend. Well, I am pretty uncomfortable about this & we spoke about it when he was sober & I told him how uncomfortable I am with it & he agreed to d...

lmw · lmw

Just got a message from ex-AH (I didn't pick up the phone when he called). He'd been sober maybe 60 days (I don't count any more) and picked up again on Friday. He was supposed to go see his family by bus around Christmas, but weather prevented the trip. The bus line refunded the money to my account, sin...

Jozie · Jozie

Hi MIP... (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))) As Most that know me, no that in the summers we have a place down at the river we go...Well being by the river it is indeed in a "Flood Zone" and we normally pull all things out by the end of Sept, but this year, My Husband used our camper to stay in...

Wolfie · Wolfie

Hi. How you all doing? My wife Nancy and I were regular attendees here at MIP a few years back. We've been away for a while, involved in other aspects of recovery, but through a series of coincidences we have returned to Miracles in Progress. Since coming back, we have met many old friends and made some ne...

ARSK · ARSK

Hi,I am a little lost. Could someone please tell me what ESH means?Thanks,Alicia

RunnerChick · RunnerChick

I have been feeling a little "unsafe" lately - allowing, my ex-bf to emotionally get close to me. Discussing the need not to be together - understanding the need to work on ourselves, but also struggling to let go of expectations. I offered to help him get some sidework through my company. I...

Ness · Ness

This article was in the Times newspaper today.....may be of interest to some. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/features/article7002002.eceAt long last in one part of the UK the effect on children of a parent drinking is being recognised..... and addressed........

miss lucy · miss lucy

AH went to the doctor's today... the doctor told him that he was quite mad. AH asked for a second opinion........ the doctor said. "ok...you are stupid as well"! AH asked me if i could cut his sandwich for him...sure says I...would you like it cut into two pieces or four? AH replied .....

idontknow · idontknow

Every day I learn more and more what step one is, and for the first time I feel more at peace about it. The biggest struggle for me is taking that with me wherever I go. I am so good at "covering up" everything, that even when I'm somewhere I can get help, I still wear that "everything is fine...

Not2bforgot10 · Not2bforgot10

I wanted to let everybody know that I will be moving from my home where I have lived the last 3 years... I am absolutely devastated. A series of events have happened to where I have come to the conclusion that I cannot stay here. Burlington, VT is too expensive for me with my student loans now taking effe...

Jerry F · Jerry F

No not a post...a title of a book that I don't remember mentioning to this fellowship. Under the Influence is one of the text we used in the college in went to and to study alcoholism and addictions. (Didn't trust the program to be complete with me...wrong!!) Any how it is a masterpiece by Dr. James R. Mil...

Not2bforgot10 · Not2bforgot10

Hi, my name is Emily. I am 25 years old. I am part of the Alanon Miracles in Progress Community and am looking for a 12-stepper or otherwise HEALTHY individual/living space (physical) to stay with for 6-12 solid months beginning sometime in April or May. I am straight-edge and do not use substance of a...

intothewoods · intothewoods

So I have kind of a weird problem. I am doing pretty good at detaching from my AH when he's drunk. I see a beer in his hand, and think "It's the disease talking!" and I'm A-OK. I can ignore the bad stuff and laugh at the fun stuff. But when he's sober, I find myself reacting and mirroring his mood an...

Codependent · Codependent

First of all, let me say that I really loved reading the enabling posts. I have found myself stepping over boundaries a lot here lately both in my professional and personal life. I am a social worker and I keep putting myself- as they say with good intentions- into situations that perhaps I do not have...

Codependent · Codependent

So, I'm not sure if I ever posted that the A is actually gonna be living in Florida after rehab. So that adds another dimension to our relationship. My therapist thinks I should completely cut off the relationship as he had pictures of his ex from 6 years ago out before he left for rehab and maybe he is on...

maresie · maresie

Six months ago I had a check stolen and to date I still have not had it replaced. I have no idea who took the check but have an idea it was someone with an active addiciton who took an opportunity and ran with it. Someday I may know I don't hold out for that information anymore. I do know its been months of ph...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I woke up this morning, and have an upset tummy and a bit of what usually comes with that. Also, my hands are a bit shaky - so I just don't feel 'right' physically. Might this be from trying to not react and change how I respond? I honestly don't know if I am getting sick or if my body is speaking to me in anoth...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband has been in jail for almost 2 weeks now and I feel like I've seen him and talked to him ore these past 2 weeks than I have the past 2 months. He calls every day and now that he's doing his work-release, he want us to visit him at work. Also, he just ran into a little road block where he can't drive to/...

Sangyaa · Sangyaa

My addict boyfriend, who I live with and have been through everything with this past year, pawned everything of value I own yesterday, intending to go on a heroin binge. I got home, found it all gone, him with it, and a cocky little note- "Sorry babe, love ya". After months of skirting the iss...

RSFleishm · RSFleishm

I am not sure if I am posting in the right area as I am new to this website but I hope that someone might be able to give me some direction as to where to go or some advice as to what I should do. My father in law is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober since before I knew him (about 5 years). We just found out l...

miss lucy · miss lucy

Well my AH never ceases to amaze me.... we had a really great day today. although still living apart we are communicating well and meeting up occassionally so that i can help him with form filling etc (this is part of our separation agreement and i am ok with that because of his illiteracy). Any way......

Peggy7 · Peggy7

How To Plant Your Garden FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING,PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS: 1. Peace of mind 2. Peace of heart 3. Peace of soul PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH: 1. Squash gossip 2. Squash indifference 3. Squash grumbling 4. Squash selfishness PLANT FOUR ROWS OF LETTUCE: 1. Lettuce be faithfu...

Codependent · Codependent

It seems at work that I have a tendency to step in when I see things going wrong that I step up and take care of it- often into other people's departments-particularly nursing. However, i am a social worker and as a patient advocate this does go to part of my job description. Needless to say this does not...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Well dear family, Just when I thought I was doing so well this winter I am hit with a really toughie. I have shingles and it is quite bad. So, my immune system is not what it should be regardless of staying away from the steroids since May of last year. Feeling pretty poorly and so it is a bit of a down hill str...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband is serving 45 days in jail for a DUI - he is on a work-release program. He can drive himself to/from work. Unfortunately he just found out that they may not let him do that because the DMV has started the process to suspend his driver's license. A lot of people in jail take the bus to/from work, b...

MaryPoppins · MaryPoppins

WOW! I wish there was an icon for smacking my head, since that is what I am doing right now! LOL! I guess now I know why people say alanoners also have relapses, because I just had a HUGE one!!! What was I doing going by what my A says about AA anyway? I have never been to an AA meeting, I should have NEVER let...

pineapple · pineapple

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Ferny · Ferny

Long time browser, first time poster. I guess I just need any advice or comfort that people throw at me. Background on me: never had personal experience with alcoholism until now, except in distant and dead relatives. I recently became engaged to a very nice man. We are very compatible in basic valu...

bessie · bessie

This is my first attempt to seek out advice on what I've known has been a problem for several years now. My brother, who lives in Las Vegas (I am in NY), and who has been in a relationship for over 30 years, has been drinking regularly and more and more heavily. His partner asked me for help a little over a y...

intothewoods · intothewoods

I discovered a new term! "gas lighting" or one word, "gaslighting". (from Wikipedia) "Gaslighting is a form of intimidation or psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory and perception. The classic e...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Hey all: OK - so took me a bit to process my yesterday. I'll try to keep it simple, but in a nut-shell this was my yesterday. Started out 'great'. Took my oldest to his therapy appointment @ 8:15am, and we had time to stop for coffee. He viewed that as a treat, I viewed it as a necessity. Anyhow, he's soon t...

powerlessmom · powerlessmom

My daughter, Christina was diagnosed with Bipolar/borderline personality at age 11 and she is now 25. She struggles with depression, alcohol abuse (binge drinking) and an eating disorder. Currently, she is on medication and her eating disorder is now under control but that is when alcohol is the...

RLC · RLC

Some days we need a little humor, and some jokes can make a point that we can relate to our program. To me this joke is another reminder to "Not React". I hope you enjoy it, and take it in the spirit is is intended. A woman complains to her therapist about fights and arguments between she and he...

Rora · Rora

For many years married to my exaH I complained about his complete lack of taking responsibility for himself. I am learning more and more about how my manipulation and control tactics and refusal to accept my reality, was ME not taking responsibility for MYSELF. I have not been unaware to my unhappy m...

bioteach · bioteach

my daughter is in recovery and has found peace ... my struggle for acceptwnce and giving all of my control to GOD STILL is an issue .... please give me insight on how to find peace...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I spent the day yesterday cleaning out my computer room. I shredded years worth of financial documents, and cleaned out cabinets full of not-my-stuff. Much belonging to my exAH, I just piled it up and now need a big box! Considered tossing/shredding the nonessentials, but only hung onto that tho...

SheWolf · SheWolf

I really need to vent about some things and I hope that you don't mind. My A has finished his treatment 2 weeks ago, but is now out of province with his parents due to legal conditions (which should be removed this week or next). We had several conversations about him coming home. He stated how scared he i...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

I am trying to work thru this maze of dealing with my girlfriend now. I've been counseled to hang in there with her. I really want to, but I am afraid, so afraid. I feel compelled to open up to her as she asks me to. She can tell that I am avoiding her. My therapist can tell. But I am so afraid. I got close to her la...

bioteach · bioteach

so acceptant of God and his palns for her and I am so so distrustful, praranoid ... not so much of her .... but my lack of control in most of life's problems ...... where do I turn .. what do I do>???

Ness · Ness

Hi folksI posted a couple of days ago.....What would you do (regarding giving our son a replacement phone)....and you all reinforced what I knew would be my (read on!) decision. Yesterday husb asked when we were going to send Ason the phone........aaaarrrrrrghhh!! I explained I had been giving i...

Ness · Ness

Hi All.....Im stuck with what to doAson, at Christmas, had his phone stolen out his pocket while he lay in a drink induced slumber I have a pay-plan on my mobile phone which means me, husb, daughter and Ason get free calls between us all.I have an old phone I could add to the pay-plan that I could give him,...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Just keep thinking about you and wondering how you are doing now? Kept up with your situation. Such a hard time. I keep ya in my prayers and thoughts. Do you feel like updating us? Spill it pretty lady, I have seen her, she is beautiful! love,debilyn

blender_girl · blender_girl

Background: My AH and I separated under less than optimal circumstances this past October. He is now living with a friend of his and we are going through the process of divorce. This has been a real rollercoaster ride for all of us. My 9 year old son and I are back in the house and we were able to quickly st...

Sam72 · Sam72

HI, Just wondering if it is possible to close your own topic? Or does someone else do it? Thanx

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family, hope you're all feeling great. Just wanted to share the slogan that we did our morning meeting on. I reflected on when I got here and when I took the suggestions to learn, memorize and practice the slogans. I also remember "gettin it" on "keep it simple" as a pra...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So it's been whirlwind lately and I have craziness on top of craziness. The ex finally left yesterday to go to California to live with the next ex/new girlfriend. Maybe this one can save him? I'm being facetious of course. She's very nice and tolerant so maybe it'll last for a bit. My oldest daughter...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Ok family I have had a couple of rough days with some shinny spots. My son got a dui last week he is already on very supervised probation. Following the DUI (which I knew nothing about at the time) I answered the door in my jammies and here was his PO. They asked if he was here and I looked over to see if h...

Debilyn · Debilyn

http://africantortoise.com/gallery2/main.php?g2_navId=x475d1134

Codependent · Codependent

I do enjoy talking to him from rehab and he has asked me to come see him, but admitting that I am powerless over my feelings for him and that he does not feel that way toward me....I am thinking that means no calls and no visits....do I have to broach this via phone or do you think a text is just way too chicken t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Hello to all and I'm very grateful I found you! My story is not unique at all but I'm having a very difficult time channeling the chatter in my head and aligning that with my heart. I am fortunate (or not) to qualify for this program as well as AA. I found AA in 1985, and have been blessed with 24 years clean a...

pineapple · pineapple

This is a jump off from another post about enabling. This has been tough for me to figure out. Am I helping or enabling? I often don't know. But Jerry posted a reply to that thread which made such sense to me. I wish I had figured it out by myself. He said ¨What I learned was If the person lacked the time, abil...

Caton · Caton

Hello all! I'm new to this forum. I am 23 years old and have been living with an alcoholic mother my whole life. She has been abusive both verbally and mentally. I am in college so I only see her in the summer and during vacations but I have so much anger towards her and what she did to me that I find it hard to ta...

maire rua · maire rua

Sometime ago I told you that I had taken my step mother's dog. I had misgivings at the time, but my A father was cruel to the dog and she was not getting out from under an old sideboard in the sitting room. I have no regrets for taking her. She has brought such joy to my life, she stopped losing her hair, I think...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

((((((((((Hello Friends)))))))), I have had a couple of rough days lately for some reason my husband has been on my mind alot.....as I watch my daughter take her journey in life...I am so proud of her..she is a wonderful mom....going to college full time and working a part time job..she has made so muc...

miss lucy · miss lucy

I never had a particularly good self image. Sure i can put makeup on and dress nicely. Other people have said I am pretty, got lovely eyes etc. but I never believed any of it I've just been watching a re-run of one of Gok Wan's how to look good naked programmes. He was helping a lady, who had been through...

3littlekittens · 3littlekittens

Hi all-- My AH moved out finally Dec 31 and quite honestly, my life has been full of peace, serenity, independence, and in a word: bliss. I am sleeping, my eating is under control, I am more focused, I'm tons more productive at home, and most importantly I feel more connected to and more patient with my ch...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Another Letter to my AH (Preview) Dear ____, The time has come for me to communicate with you about some behavior that I find unacceptable and define the consequences of this behavior should you continue to perpetuate it. It is unacceptable for you to share intimate details of my past behavior with our 19 year old son, even if it's und...	blender_girl	2	795	Jan 27, 2010 by maresie
	Hardest time of my life (Preview) I'm having the hardest time of my life right now. I feel like I'm lost, desperate, hopeless and there is no good solution to my problems. The situation with my oldest daughter is horriffic, there is no win here, I have set events into motion that I can't reverse and I can't live with her and can't live wi...	carolinagirl	9	1146	Jan 27, 2010 by RunnerChick
	Sick of being accused of things I havn't done. (Preview) My A and I just had yet another fight, I'm crying as I sit and write this. I have only been with him for a little over two years. He was married and in a relationship with his wife for almost twenty years. Every time we have a fight he accuses me of doing the things she did. I cant take it any more. He yells at me to...	Sam72	7	2988	Jan 27, 2010 by RunnerChick
	12 Steps (Preview) Hi can someone please tell me where I can read what the 12 steps are. I checked the step work board, but I cant see it there. Would appreciate some help please. Thanx	Sam72	3	931	Jan 27, 2010 by Sam72
	I need some advice (Preview) Hi, I am pretty new at dealing with my feelings about my Abf. So, I need some advice. He has been texting/calling this girl, who he says is just a friend. Well, I am pretty uncomfortable about this & we spoke about it when he was sober & I told him how uncomfortable I am with it & he agreed to d...	HawkRN	5	770	Jan 27, 2010 by RLC
	Some things never change... (Preview) Just got a message from ex-AH (I didn't pick up the phone when he called). He'd been sober maybe 60 days (I don't count any more) and picked up again on Friday. He was supposed to go see his family by bus around Christmas, but weather prevented the trip. The bus line refunded the money to my account, sin...	lmw	2	656	Jan 27, 2010 by blender_girl
	Growth, Or So It Seems... (Preview) Hi MIP... (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))) As Most that know me, no that in the summers we have a place down at the river we go...Well being by the river it is indeed in a "Flood Zone" and we normally pull all things out by the end of Sept, but this year, My Husband used our camper to stay in...	Jozie	6	811	Jan 27, 2010 by Jozie
	Just Wanted to say Thanks (Preview) Hi. How you all doing? My wife Nancy and I were regular attendees here at MIP a few years back. We've been away for a while, involved in other aspects of recovery, but through a series of coincidences we have returned to Miracles in Progress. Since coming back, we have met many old friends and made some ne...	Wolfie	2	584	Jan 27, 2010 by kitty
	ESH (Preview) Hi,I am a little lost. Could someone please tell me what ESH means?Thanks,Alicia	ARSK	2	767	Jan 27, 2010 by ARSK
	Hurt (Preview) I have been feeling a little "unsafe" lately - allowing, my ex-bf to emotionally get close to me. Discussing the need not to be together - understanding the need to work on ourselves, but also struggling to let go of expectations. I offered to help him get some sidework through my company. I...	RunnerChick	7	812	Jan 27, 2010 by Karilynn
	Times newspaper article today (Preview) This article was in the Times newspaper today.....may be of interest to some. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/features/article7002002.eceAt long last in one part of the UK the effect on children of a parent drinking is being recognised..... and addressed........	Ness	5	983	Jan 27, 2010 by Ness
	just having a laugh!!!! (Preview) AH went to the doctor's today... the doctor told him that he was quite mad. AH asked for a second opinion........ the doctor said. "ok...you are stupid as well"! AH asked me if i could cut his sandwich for him...sure says I...would you like it cut into two pieces or four? AH replied .....	miss lucy	3	707	Jan 27, 2010 by Suzi1965
	step one (Preview) Every day I learn more and more what step one is, and for the first time I feel more at peace about it. The biggest struggle for me is taking that with me wherever I go. I am so good at "covering up" everything, that even when I'm somewhere I can get help, I still wear that "everything is fine...	idontknow	4	664	Jan 27, 2010 by Jerry F
	Moving... grief (Preview) I wanted to let everybody know that I will be moving from my home where I have lived the last 3 years... I am absolutely devastated. A series of events have happened to where I have come to the conclusion that I cannot stay here. Burlington, VT is too expensive for me with my student loans now taking effe...	Not2bforgot10	3	783	Jan 26, 2010 by nmike
	Under the Influence. (Preview) No not a post...a title of a book that I don't remember mentioning to this fellowship. Under the Influence is one of the text we used in the college in went to and to study alcoholism and addictions. (Didn't trust the program to be complete with me...wrong!!) Any how it is a masterpiece by Dr. James R. Mil...	Jerry F	7	1037	Jan 26, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Wanted: Board/Room w/a 12-Stepper! (Preview) Hi, my name is Emily. I am 25 years old. I am part of the Alanon Miracles in Progress Community and am looking for a 12-stepper or otherwise HEALTHY individual/living space (physical) to stay with for 6-12 solid months beginning sometime in April or May. I am straight-edge and do not use substance of a...	Not2bforgot10	9	858	Jan 26, 2010 by Aloha
	detaching when they're sober (Preview) So I have kind of a weird problem. I am doing pretty good at detaching from my AH when he's drunk. I see a beer in his hand, and think "It's the disease talking!" and I'm A-OK. I can ignore the bad stuff and laugh at the fun stuff. But when he's sober, I find myself reacting and mirroring his mood an...	intothewoods	9	1169	Jan 26, 2010 by idontknow
	Jealous of the Addict in Rehab...Feedback Please... (Preview) First of all, let me say that I really loved reading the enabling posts. I have found myself stepping over boundaries a lot here lately both in my professional and personal life. I am a social worker and I keep putting myself- as they say with good intentions- into situations that perhaps I do not have...	Codependent	7	792	Jan 26, 2010 by RunnerChick
	I know that I am posting a lot but never had an A actually in Rehab- Sorry... (Preview) So, I'm not sure if I ever posted that the A is actually gonna be living in Florida after rehab. So that adds another dimension to our relationship. My therapist thinks I should completely cut off the relationship as he had pictures of his ex from 6 years ago out before he left for rehab and maybe he is on...	Codependent	3	626	Jan 26, 2010 by RunnerChick
	then and now (Preview) Six months ago I had a check stolen and to date I still have not had it replaced. I have no idea who took the check but have an idea it was someone with an active addiciton who took an opportunity and ran with it. Someday I may know I don't hold out for that information anymore. I do know its been months of ph...	maresie	5	647	Jan 26, 2010 by maresie
	Physical Illness by Changing? - any input welcome (Preview) I woke up this morning, and have an upset tummy and a bit of what usually comes with that. Also, my hands are a bit shaky - so I just don't feel 'right' physically. Might this be from trying to not react and change how I respond? I honestly don't know if I am getting sick or if my body is speaking to me in anoth...	Iamhere	8	837	Jan 26, 2010 by Iamhere
	I need a break from my AH (Preview) My husband has been in jail for almost 2 weeks now and I feel like I've seen him and talked to him ore these past 2 weeks than I have the past 2 months. He calls every day and now that he's doing his work-release, he want us to visit him at work. Also, he just ran into a little road block where he can't drive to/...	N8SMOM	4	894	Jan 26, 2010 by Iamhere
	I finally left him and I'm scared. (Preview) My addict boyfriend, who I live with and have been through everything with this past year, pawned everything of value I own yesterday, intending to go on a heroin binge. I got home, found it all gone, him with it, and a cocky little note- "Sorry babe, love ya". After months of skirting the iss...	Sangyaa	9	851	Jan 26, 2010 by Iamhere
	Need some advice and help (Preview) I am not sure if I am posting in the right area as I am new to this website but I hope that someone might be able to give me some direction as to where to go or some advice as to what I should do. My father in law is a recovering alcoholic and has been sober since before I knew him (about 5 years). We just found out l...	RSFleishm	7	829	Jan 26, 2010 by Iamhere
	I THOUGHT I'D HEARD IT ALL!!!! (Preview) Well my AH never ceases to amaze me.... we had a really great day today. although still living apart we are communicating well and meeting up occassionally so that i can help him with form filling etc (this is part of our separation agreement and i am ok with that because of his illiteracy). Any way......	miss lucy	9	965	Jan 26, 2010 by Iamhere
	How To Plant Your Garden (Preview) How To Plant Your Garden FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING,PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS: 1. Peace of mind 2. Peace of heart 3. Peace of soul PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH: 1. Squash gossip 2. Squash indifference 3. Squash grumbling 4. Squash selfishness PLANT FOUR ROWS OF LETTUCE: 1. Lettuce be faithfu...	Peggy7	3	1354	Jan 26, 2010 by Iamhere
	What do I exhibit that result in people giving me all the work and the resenting me for it? (Preview) It seems at work that I have a tendency to step in when I see things going wrong that I step up and take care of it- often into other people's departments-particularly nursing. However, i am a social worker and as a patient advocate this does go to part of my job description. Needless to say this does not...	Codependent	7	823	Jan 25, 2010 by Codependent
	Not out of the woods yet (Preview) Well dear family, Just when I thought I was doing so well this winter I am hit with a really toughie. I have shingles and it is quite bad. So, my immune system is not what it should be regardless of staying away from the steroids since May of last year. Feeling pretty poorly and so it is a bit of a down hill str...	Suzannah	6	963	Jan 25, 2010 by maresie
	Is this enabling? (Preview) My husband is serving 45 days in jail for a DUI - he is on a work-release program. He can drive himself to/from work. Unfortunately he just found out that they may not let him do that because the DMV has started the process to suspend his driver's license. A lot of people in jail take the bus to/from work, b...	N8SMOM	10	840	Jan 25, 2010 by kmarty
	A V-8 Moment (closed) (Preview) WOW! I wish there was an icon for smacking my head, since that is what I am doing right now! LOL! I guess now I know why people say alanoners also have relapses, because I just had a HUGE one!!! What was I doing going by what my A says about AA anyway? I have never been to an AA meeting, I should have NEVER let...	MaryPoppins	20	1631	Jan 25, 2010 by John
	lost it last night (Preview) <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-fami...	pineapple	12	1017	Jan 25, 2010 by Debilyn
	Scared about our engagement (super long-- sorry) (Preview) Long time browser, first time poster. I guess I just need any advice or comfort that people throw at me. Background on me: never had personal experience with alcoholism until now, except in distant and dead relatives. I recently became engaged to a very nice man. We are very compatible in basic valu...	Ferny	9	845	Jan 25, 2010 by maresie
	long distance help for sibling...what can I do? (Preview) This is my first attempt to seek out advice on what I've known has been a problem for several years now. My brother, who lives in Las Vegas (I am in NY), and who has been in a relationship for over 30 years, has been drinking regularly and more and more heavily. His partner asked me for help a little over a y...	bessie	5	711	Jan 25, 2010 by bessie
	New term: gaslighting (Preview) I discovered a new term! "gas lighting" or one word, "gaslighting". (from Wikipedia) "Gaslighting is a form of intimidation or psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory and perception. The classic e...	intothewoods	6	3836	Jan 25, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	BABY STEPS - Ebb & Flow of 24 Hours (Preview) Hey all: OK - so took me a bit to process my yesterday. I'll try to keep it simple, but in a nut-shell this was my yesterday. Started out 'great'. Took my oldest to his therapy appointment @ 8:15am, and we had time to stop for coffee. He viewed that as a treat, I viewed it as a necessity. Anyhow, he's soon t...	Iamhere	3	585	Jan 25, 2010 by Iamhere
	Need help (Preview) My daughter, Christina was diagnosed with Bipolar/borderline personality at age 11 and she is now 25. She struggles with depression, alcohol abuse (binge drinking) and an eating disorder. Currently, she is on medication and her eating disorder is now under control but that is when alcohol is the...	powerlessmom	3	518	Jan 25, 2010 by powerlessmom
	(Humor) Gargling With Chamomile Tea !!! (Preview) Some days we need a little humor, and some jokes can make a point that we can relate to our program. To me this joke is another reminder to "Not React". I hope you enjoy it, and take it in the spirit is is intended. A woman complains to her therapist about fights and arguments between she and he...	RLC	2	2383	Jan 25, 2010 by Karilynn
	Taking responsibility.... (Preview) For many years married to my exaH I complained about his complete lack of taking responsibility for himself. I am learning more and more about how my manipulation and control tactics and refusal to accept my reality, was ME not taking responsibility for MYSELF. I have not been unaware to my unhappy m...	Rora	5	765	Jan 25, 2010 by Festfan
	help me (Preview) my daughter is in recovery and has found peace ... my struggle for acceptwnce and giving all of my control to GOD STILL is an issue .... please give me insight on how to find peace...	bioteach	4	685	Jan 24, 2010 by Christy
	It feels soooo good! (Preview) I spent the day yesterday cleaning out my computer room. I shredded years worth of financial documents, and cleaned out cabinets full of not-my-stuff. Much belonging to my exAH, I just piled it up and now need a big box! Considered tossing/shredding the nonessentials, but only hung onto that tho...	Loupiness	3	632	Jan 24, 2010 by Suzannah
	I am so confused... (Preview) I really need to vent about some things and I hope that you don't mind. My A has finished his treatment 2 weeks ago, but is now out of province with his parents due to legal conditions (which should be removed this week or next). We had several conversations about him coming home. He stated how scared he i...	SheWolf	7	904	Jan 24, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	what do I do? (my friend) She wants me to open up ; I'm afraid (Preview) I am trying to work thru this maze of dealing with my girlfriend now. I've been counseled to hang in there with her. I really want to, but I am afraid, so afraid. I feel compelled to open up to her as she asks me to. She can tell that I am avoiding her. My therapist can tell. But I am so afraid. I got close to her la...	Carol_Lynn	3	828	Jan 24, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	help me ...I have spengt the last 30 minutes talking to my daughter who is in a recovery center ... she is awesome and (Preview) so acceptant of God and his palns for her and I am so so distrustful, praranoid ... not so much of her .... but my lack of control in most of life's problems ...... where do I turn .. what do I do>???	bioteach	3	824	Jan 24, 2010 by Jerry F
	One says no..... one says yes......(easy does it!!) (Preview) Hi folksI posted a couple of days ago.....What would you do (regarding giving our son a replacement phone)....and you all reinforced what I knew would be my (read on!) decision. Yesterday husb asked when we were going to send Ason the phone........aaaarrrrrrghhh!! I explained I had been giving i...	Ness	3	652	Jan 24, 2010 by Jerry F
	What would you do? (Preview) Hi All.....Im stuck with what to doAson, at Christmas, had his phone stolen out his pocket while he lay in a drink induced slumber I have a pay-plan on my mobile phone which means me, husb, daughter and Ason get free calls between us all.I have an old phone I could add to the pay-plan that I could give him,...	Ness	10	894	Jan 24, 2010 by Diva
	You whooooo Diva (Preview) Just keep thinking about you and wondering how you are doing now? Kept up with your situation. Such a hard time. I keep ya in my prayers and thoughts. Do you feel like updating us? Spill it pretty lady, I have seen her, she is beautiful! love,debilyn	Debilyn	2	704	Jan 24, 2010 by Diva
	Interesting conversation with my 9 year old - pondering how to proceed (Preview) Background: My AH and I separated under less than optimal circumstances this past October. He is now living with a friend of his and we are going through the process of divorce. This has been a real rollercoaster ride for all of us. My 9 year old son and I are back in the house and we were able to quickly st...	blender_girl	9	743	Jan 24, 2010 by blender_girl
	Close Topic (Preview) HI, Just wondering if it is possible to close your own topic? Or does someone else do it? Thanx	Sam72	3	761	Jan 24, 2010 by Andrea12
	Keep it Simple... (Preview) Aloha Family, hope you're all feeling great. Just wanted to share the slogan that we did our morning meeting on. I reflected on when I got here and when I took the suggestions to learn, memorize and practice the slogans. I also remember "gettin it" on "keep it simple" as a pra...	Jerry F	9	1210	Jan 24, 2010 by Iamhere
	my life is not how i imagined (Preview) So it's been whirlwind lately and I have craziness on top of craziness. The ex finally left yesterday to go to California to live with the next ex/new girlfriend. Maybe this one can save him? I'm being facetious of course. She's very nice and tolerant so maybe it'll last for a bit. My oldest daughter...	carolinagirl	8	865	Jan 24, 2010 by Iamhere
	Pretty much just a vent (Preview) Ok family I have had a couple of rough days with some shinny spots. My son got a dui last week he is already on very supervised probation. Following the DUI (which I knew nothing about at the time) I answered the door in my jammies and here was his PO. They asked if he was here and I looked over to see if h...	fishinmama	3	667	Jan 24, 2010 by Iamhere
	Saturday (Preview) http://africantortoise.com/gallery2/main.php?g2_navId=x475d1134	Debilyn	5	730	Jan 24, 2010 by Iamhere
	One more thing... (Preview) I do enjoy talking to him from rehab and he has asked me to come see him, but admitting that I am powerless over my feelings for him and that he does not feel that way toward me....I am thinking that means no calls and no visits....do I have to broach this via phone or do you think a text is just way too chicken t...	Codependent	4	596	Jan 24, 2010 by Iamhere
	The Chatter in my Brain --- The Pain in my Heart (Preview) Hello to all and I'm very grateful I found you! My story is not unique at all but I'm having a very difficult time channeling the chatter in my head and aligning that with my heart. I am fortunate (or not) to qualify for this program as well as AA. I found AA in 1985, and have been blessed with 24 years clean a...	Iamhere	15	894	Jan 24, 2010 by Iamhere
	enabling (Preview) This is a jump off from another post about enabling. This has been tough for me to figure out. Am I helping or enabling? I often don't know. But Jerry posted a reply to that thread which made such sense to me. I wish I had figured it out by myself. He said ¨What I learned was If the person lacked the time, abil...	pineapple	3	761	Jan 24, 2010 by idontknow
	advice needed... (Preview) Hello all! I'm new to this forum. I am 23 years old and have been living with an alcoholic mother my whole life. She has been abusive both verbally and mentally. I am in college so I only see her in the summer and during vacations but I have so much anger towards her and what she did to me that I find it hard to ta...	Caton	5	840	Jan 23, 2010 by Mattie
	update on taking step-mom's dog last year (Preview) Sometime ago I told you that I had taken my step mother's dog. I had misgivings at the time, but my A father was cruel to the dog and she was not getting out from under an old sideboard in the sitting room. I have no regrets for taking her. She has brought such joy to my life, she stopped losing her hair, I think...	maire rua	8	831	Jan 23, 2010 by Charlie
	Progress (Preview) ((((((((((Hello Friends)))))))), I have had a couple of rough days lately for some reason my husband has been on my mind alot.....as I watch my daughter take her journey in life...I am so proud of her..she is a wonderful mom....going to college full time and working a part time job..she has made so muc...	Andrea12	3	451	Jan 23, 2010 by Karilynn
	The woman in the mirror (Preview) I never had a particularly good self image. Sure i can put makeup on and dress nicely. Other people have said I am pretty, got lovely eyes etc. but I never believed any of it I've just been watching a re-run of one of Gok Wan's how to look good naked programmes. He was helping a lady, who had been through...	miss lucy	2	711	Jan 23, 2010 by CJ
	I'm scared...need ESH (Preview) Hi all-- My AH moved out finally Dec 31 and quite honestly, my life has been full of peace, serenity, independence, and in a word: bliss. I am sleeping, my eating is under control, I am more focused, I'm tons more productive at home, and most importantly I feel more connected to and more patient with my ch...	3littlekittens	7	768	Jan 23, 2010 by 3littlekittens
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