The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Thank you all for you kinds words which i have received, especially in my last post. I think I really didn't understand what being "powerless" and "unmanageable" really meant until I read your responses. I have read about it, listened to it at my f2f meetings, but didn't really get it. To make a very long story short, I woke this morning to have a better feeling, and not know why, I came back and read the responses I was given here about my confusion and frustration with my A being back home. Yesterday afternoon and last night was so much better. What was the difference i asked myself. My A was and still is unhappy and uncomfortable. But I watched TV and played games with my boys like always, and just tried to do my thing. It felt good. He even had the camera out and we were all fooling around. We had dinner, and then did groceries together. I think it was the first time that I truly felt myself and did my thing. I realize now that I was trying too hard. I was expecting more that I should be at this time. I am powerless over alcohol, I am powerless over him. I was expecting him to at least be loving and a caring dad; part of the family. But I now know that it is too early for that. Things will take time. But I was pushing too hard, and it was actually I who was pushing him away even more. I realize that he is unable to deal with these things right now.
I pray to my Higher Power every day, and I felt like last night's happenings and receiving the responses on this wonderful site was my HP's way of letting me know my path, what i need to do...even though it is really tough for me to let go and let God, live and let live, and even to keep it simple. The slogans are making more sense to me today. It has been so long since I've know ME that I am finding it hard to find ME and to take care of ME.
Thank you to all for all for your words of wisdom! Tarrah
That is what family is for Tarrah. Do you have any of the daily readers from Al-Anon? ODAAT, Courage to Change, Hope for today, Just for Today pamphlet? They help to reset attitudes and perspectives. ((((hugs))))
Atta girl your gonna be just fine . Sobreity is not easy for either of you so easy does it . you only have to do this one day at a time . enjoy the good times this will pass eventually it gets easier with two programs in the house you have a chance , neither Al-Anon or AA promises to save marriages but it does promise to return sanity to our lives . when trust is gone thru alcoholism it takes time kids dont trust either parent so be patient they are afraid that sobriety will end and back to chaos , no one said this was going to be easy but it is duable . find a sponsor share your fears and anger wih her and go home with a solution , your husb is never truly going to understand how his drinking affected your life , any more than your going to understand his compulsion to drink , for me today thats ok I know t hat I was not the reason he drank and thats all that really matters to me .Al-Anons understand me and listen to my fears that is a gift . Enjoy and Dont Miss the Good Days .
Hey Tarrah - way to go!!! So happy to hear that you were able to deploy a strategy that made things go better...
Jerry raises a good point...I love the daily meditation books - they often ground me for the morning and then continue to do so as the day progresses.
Continued (((((Hugs))))) to you!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
