The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am currently living in a relationship that has gotten much worse over the past few years due to alcholism. Of course, I am the only one who thinks he has a problem. He continually denies it and yet I am always the one left feeling angry, hurt, helpless, hopeless. I need help and support.
Hello and welcome , call this number and find a meeting in your area , u need support 1-888-4alanon it is toll free and international . lines are open from 8 am to 6 pm mon thru friday . There is always hope , you maybe powerless over what is going on around you but not helpless .
-- Edited by abbyal on Tuesday 2nd of February 2010 02:21:08 AM
Besides face to face meetings, it's always good to come here too and read the messages posted and the replys to them. There is much wisdom and support to be found on these pages. abbyal is right, you are not helpless, AND you are not alone.
Hi there, just want to add my welcome......By posting here youve already progressed from Helpless, so stick around and 'Hopeless' will get sidelined by Strength and Hope
Alcoholism is a progressive disease unless arrested, so well done for seeking help for you.
You are not Helpless and most certainly not Hopeless. Come to this sight often, and try to attend AlAnon meetings close to you. Between us, we can change Helpless to Helped, and Hopeless to Hopeful. Perhaps not for him, but certainly for you.
You are not alone in this. Head up, chest out, and FORWARD!!!! I think it is Home Depot's slogan which I will borrow..."You can do it; we can help."
Best wishes,
Diva
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"Speak your truth quietly and clearly..." Desiderata
I too arrived here with much pain, confusion, torment and anguish.
The great folks of this board, and members in F2F meetings are carrying me and showing me that by working hard to take care of me, I can get through each day, one moment at a time.
I've decided, my mantra for the week is I LOVE my SON but I HATE this DISEASE. It keeps flying to the front of my mind - therefore - that's what I need to focus on, for this moment, on this day.
Please keep coming back - these great folks with incredible Experience Strength and Hope (ESH) will help you help yourself!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
hi, You are in the right place.. People who are not living with alcoholism do not undertand and may tell us to just leave. In al anon no one will give you advice. We just share what we have been through and how we used the programme to deal with problems. You can take what you ike and leave the rest. When i first started attended face to face meetings I was told to try six before I made up my mind if it was for me. They said if it was not then I could have my misery back. I did not want to be miserable anymore so kept coming. I can not put into words how much al anon has improved my life. Today my partner is sober there is hope.
I want to thank all of you for such a warm welcome! I have to say it helps to talk and see postings from others that are in similar situations. I am trying to find a local f2f meeting, but as of yet, I have not taken that step.
Thank you for your reply. I have dealt with this issue for so long that it seems that it is something that I just need to learn to accept. I am finally learning that I don't have to accept this and it is a choice I must make for myself. Not for him, but for me. My life cannot be put on hold or made a struggle every day knowing what each day will bring. I know that I cannot "fix" the situation; but I can get help to "fix" me and to learn to do what is best for me.
HH - welcome! Being around here - on the Forum and the Chat Room/Meeting sight has been immeasurably helpful to me. I still consider myself a "newbie" (even though based on the # of my postings it says I'm not!) I think I have been here almost exactly a month! I am still dating my ABF - after finally coming to the realization of his disease after New Years Eve!
I really advocate the F2F meetings - try a few and keep going back. Some people will say that they felt at home right away, but the first few meetings were a struggle for me. I'm lucky that there are many options in my area and hope that is true for you too - look around and find one or more that you feel comfortable at!
Good luck and listen/read others - hopefully you will find some info that helps you navigate the current situation!
I know that I cannot "fix" the situation; but I can get help to "fix" me and to learn to do what is best for me.
Great insight, HH!
It took me a while to muster up the courage to walk into a face to face meeting but once there I knew I was going to keep going back -- the group was so accepting, so warm and welcoming. A whole bunch of people who knew and understood exactly what I was feeling and struggling with.
After 10 years of insomnia, I am (miraculously!) sleeping better after only a month of meetings.
I had been on the boards here for a while before that first meeting, and there is a lot of wisdom here, but nothing beats seeing the friendly smiles, sharing a few chuckles, and getting a nice warm hug in a f2f meeting.
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Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could... Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson
Thank you for the words of wisdom. It is nice to at least be able to start somewhere until I do find a f2f that is a good fit. So many times, you just need a place to talk.
