The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have so much going on at once in my life- I am overwhelmed with grief. My ex A boyfriend who left me 3 months ago for another woman pops in and out of my life; my good friend is of dying of cancer; my ex-husband isn't paying support, and the list goes on and on. I feel like I am drowning in a sea of emotions and feel unable to come up for air. I am doing everything I can it seems, counseling, meds, sponsor, meetings etc. - but I still feel in deep dark despair. What do you do when you feel desperate and in a really dark place? I don't have family to help, few friends who truly understand. Worse yet my alcoholic boyfriend who was in recovery, called last night drunk, looking for support. Of course I talked to him for 2 hours when I shouldn't have -which led me even further down the path of despair. I am working on step 2 with my sponsor and know my life is insante, know that I can't do anything about all of this myself and am trying to give it over to my higher power. There is just so much going on. Does anyone have any suggestions how I can really hand this over to my higher power?
Aloha...Ask a friend from the program to go to a movie and then a latte or ice cream after. Put your concerns in a God Box while you're gone (any box sealed real tight with Duct tape or so that you might not get back into again...with a slot in the top) so that you can deposit all of the stuff you are powerless over and are overly concerned about and can then enjoy some time relaxing. Make a deal with yourself not to talk about "concerns and worries" over the latte or ice cream and go have fun.
We are allowed to and are not a Glum group of people.
Jas we have a slogan first things first now is the time to use it . sit down with a pencil and paper , write down what u need to do , prioritize it and work your way down the list . one thing at a time . What about the courts family services for getting ex hubby back on track with his support - one phone call and scratch it off your list . you bf 's slip is not your problem , nothing u can do aboaut him and those long talks are usless pretty good chance he won't even remember having it . a simple I am sorry u keep doing this to yourself and hang up will place the problem back with him where it belongs . Keep the focus on yourself and your friend who is ill , she needs you now . go back to step one . You are the only one u can change . Let go Jas so God can get at them . Louise
In same boat. Wife left, Dad died, wife with new boyfriend, job undoable, son out of control. Im considering a planned nervous breakdown and a trip to the padded room. Sometimes I dont think about it for 30 minutes. Maybe soon I will put together 31 minutes.
(((((Hugs))))) to all of us who are suffering from the realities of this disease.
I can totally relate to those external influences which are making ME crazy.
I am working hard, with help from here and F2F meetings to stay in the here and now, and work on me.
It's very hard work, and so against my entrenched way of thinking and habits.
Putting together minutes of calm/peace is happening though, slowly but surely. Only by doing what I'm told to do and also by working to live in the middle of the serenity prayer.
May you get some ESH here and at F2F meetings. I know for me, I wonder if I'm worth it often. 'It' to me is love, peace, serenity, etc. Folks here tell me I am. So - I pass that along to you - YOU ARE WORTH IT...(((((HUGS)))))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I have a lot on my plate too. I have had to learn some al anon tools like first things first and taking it one day at a time. I also forgive myself. No one gets boundaries day one. I don't think you can expect yourself too. Indeed when you are new at things like saying no to your ex A you are not going to be perfect at the beginning. This stuff takes a lot of practice. You are in the right place.
I have ex who is compulsive gmbler deserted kids very sick. My A had slip in NOV. Evryone seems to have problems and i was working like mad to try and fix me. I was feeling just like you overwhemled, depressed, not knowing where to start. First I tough I am powerless over A's slip hand him over I crnt god can. Ex nothing I can do again except be a good mum, handed him over to HP to without resentment he is very ill. Then I thought how cn the slogans help
KEEP IT SIMPLE AND TAKE IT EASY JUMPED OUT AT ME.
I have my head in a book every chance trying to fix me, on here , meeting, conventions. Yes I need to work on me but again my standards were to high . I was rushing wanting it now. Last night I was tired so missed my meeting but I am trying anew one today. Maybe this is what my HP intended. Take care of you. Accept the things you can not fix change I curl up on the couch with some choc and just watched a happy film I can be so serious so focused on all the negative that i forget to have fun or do the things i enjoy.
hope this helps
-- Edited by Tracy on Tuesday 2nd of February 2010 12:58:35 PM
