The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
hi, i posted a topic earlier in the week called 'somewhere to vent'. my mum had gone off the rails once again and had nearly killed herself. However since that day she's been sober, she tells me she really scared herself and desn't want t put us through it anymore and eventhough its only been 3 days i want to believe she's really going to try. Now i'm not totally niave, she's said this all before and her sobriety lasts for upto a week before she gets back on the slippery slope again but for the first time ever she's actually said she'll attend an aa meeting if i go with her.
My question is can i put myself out there for the 100000000000th time hoping she'll stick to it and be disapointed or should i just take it 'one day at a time' and give her the benefit of the doubt?
On the upside, as a result of all this craziness, i've finally decided to persue the career in counselling and psychotherapy i always wanted and i've sent off my application today with the hope that in 3 years i can use my diploma to specialise in alcohol and drug rehab counselling!
i think you're probably right about me going to a meeting with her - i think i'm so used to being her crutch i totally didn't think of anything else. i think if she goes on her own she might be more inclined to share some of her deeper feeling which perhaps she might keep hidden from me - i guess i'll play it by ear, thankyou very much for your support and guidance in this - its nice to have some objective perspectives!
jellybean - super congrats. to you for your new goal!!! That just sounds awesome and best wishes for your application and the path to success in counseling.
I'll add your mom to my prayer list - I have an assortment of family members who could benefit from AA. For my own sobriety, I tend to help, when asked, if it makes sense for my program. Some days, I'm able to handle it and other days, I'm not.
(((((Hugs))))) to you and love your action - YAY!!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi Jellybean, I will share a little of my story take what you like and leave the rest. For four years I tried to get my partner to stop drinking I nearly lost my sanity. Each time he nearly killed himself or hurt one of us he would hit a rock botoon ad promise never again. He really meant this and I wanted it so much I would let my defenses down and then the disease would grab hold of him again ngod love him he would hate himself when he drank. Then one day I decided that he neede to heal himself and that I need time to consentrate on my recovery it was the hadest decision I loved him so much but I knew it was out of my hands I finally accepted step one. I told him I loved him and hoped he loved himself enough to get better ad that i needed to get better. I told him this disease was very cunning and I was going to fight and fix the damage and needed space. This was the first time I had focusesd on me and handed him over to HP. He hit another rock bottom and this time wnet into AA. That was last April he still drank a bit without my knowledge theon 1st May 2009 he got sober. We got back together and things were going fine then in November after 6 months sober his nephew died ad the disease grabed him again. I hit the floor. I had to accept all over again that this is an illness that can be arrested but not cured. today I know my partner is trying his best to recover. He wet straight back to AA after his slip. I now accept he is an alocoholic and he means his promises I hope his sobriety will last a life time but I do not expect this. If he slips again tomorrow that is his slip this horrible disease will not give up without a battle. I try and live one day at a time and do not worry if he will drink I try and focus on how this disease has affeted me. I did in the beginning take him to his first meeting but then I stepped back and handed him over to the members of AA as they are the only people who can truly support him. hope this helps
My AW started trying to get sober about two years ago. She went to more than a meeting a day and still does. She constantly went in and out, always going to meetings however until last April which is the last time she drank. So she has 9 months of sobriety.
As she goes to about 10 meetings a week I go with her to an open meeting once a week on Saturday night. I have been to over 100 AA meetings over the 2 plus years.
What might be helpful is to get your mother to start going to AA meetings alone as, at least around here most of them are closed. She needs to share personal things for you not to hear. Then suggest to her you would love to go to a meeting a week with her.
Don't ever give up there is always hope / the best way in my opinion to support our alcoholic family members is to have my own program and take care of myself , we have to get out of thier way and off thier backs so God can get at them . I don't know if your attending meetings f2f or not but hope u will consider doing so in the near future , your worth the effort . Going to an occasional AA meeting to support her is a good idea but always remember that you too have to recover from the affects of her drinking , Al-Anon is for us and not about them . If she dosent make it this time , don't criticize or scold she already has enough guilt and shame with out adding to it . Once settled in Al-Anon drinking or not regardless of what she does YOU will be okay , you don't have to go down with her . detach with love hate the disease.
