The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
and I'm hoping that this time someone takes home my "blamer". This tool hasn't ever worked since I got into Al-Anon and I've not been able to get rid of it either. I picked it up today and tried to use it and it still wouldn't work. When I tried to put in back in the back of the tool cabinet it didn't want to let go of me like it was attached with velcro again. I finally shook it off and kicked it to the back of the cabinet in the dark where I can't see it or attempt to retrieve it anymore.
Anybody else have a non-working "blamer" they need to dispose of?
Blame doesn't FIX anything, so it is pretty useless to take up that tool.
I have beaten my "blamer" into a "fixer", that way something positive happens.
Back to the old - NOTHING CHANGES UNTIL SOMETHING CHANGES - and on this occasion my "blamer" got changed.
Whenever it ~seems~ to be meta-morphing from the fixer back to the blamer I quickly STAMP ON IT and stop it in the process. That way I keep a hold of my fixer.
My fixer is my attitude that figuratively speaking tells me that I will not be responsible for the out break of World War III - should it ever happen and I hope it does not - but that I can do my best to ensure that I stop it in it's tracks should it happen.
By that I mean, instead of diving into the pity pot and blaming me me me me and me again for all the wrong things in life I stop and look for the thing that I can change and it usually begins with my attitude and perception of the situation.
It's learning to say NO to the VICTIM ROLE.
Thank you Jerry for focusing my mind on one small step in my journey that has led to a huge journey of self discovery and healing.
God Bless, Mahalo Suzannah
__________________
Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
I don't know where you got your blamer from but mine is an old family heirloom handed down for generations untold!
I guess that is why I hang on to mine too. It is another one of those old "priceless" albeit useless articles I keep for "sentimental" reasons.
I have tried sticking mine away back in a closet somewhere too, but it doesn't like it in there.
Maybe I should frame it and put it on the living room wall. If I keep it right there where I can see it all the time, maybe it will be happy on display and I can keep an eye on it! Admire it for how it was once a useful tool that has now become obsolete.
Wow Jerry... I must be of a different mindset/makeup than you.... I just looked, and my "blamer" is brand-spanking new, all shiny & stuff - looks like it has never been used..... Now I'd like to claim that is because I have never used the darn thing, but the truth is, I bought the "warehouse pack" of fifty at Costco, and keep wearing the darn things out!!!
Thanks for the smile.... and the reminder.... and for your recovery....
Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I wonder if anyone has a blamer tool like mine. It is called a "spinner blamer". All I have to do is give it a spend and see what direction it points to I know who I should blame. But, I have it for sale because it has never worked correctly for me. Everytime I give it a spend it's always pointing at me when it stops ............ So now I have "accepted" that I wasted good money on a defective, useless tool.
If I had known it was always going to point at me it would have been much simpler, and cheaper to just buy a mirror and look at myself.
