Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Overcome · Overcome

I've heard it said that if we stay in the alcoholic situation long enough, we become as sick as the alcoholic. I have found that to be true. What is disturbing to me is that I seem to be experiencing PTSD symptoms some 6 months after the divorce. Mind you this is not my first divorce from an alcoholic. I have...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

"If we could extract the "I" from our thoughts, some of us would lose our focus. We have a tendency to think only of our comfort, our convenience, our point of view, our feelings, and our happiness. What if we made a conscious effort every day to put someone else first? What would it cost...

Codependent · Codependent

Left me a message saying he was doing well. He sorta admonished me that he didn't like the fact that I only texted him and didn't ever answer my phone and perhaps that was why he had been out of touch. I did not call rehab about possible drug use. Don't know if he is/was using, but have decided to mind my ow...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

The past few days I have been struggling....Grateful but struggling somewhat.<BR><BR>For some reason EXABF has been in my thoughts over and over again and I have been praying to HP to please remove any thoughts or feelings I have left for him in my mind and heart.  It is hard to...

kitty · kitty

I posted about this a year ago or so but I have found it very interesting to ponder -- in our English language we use expressions like, 'you are giving me a head ache' , 'you are making me feel this or that' or 'you are making me crazy'. It is like we are victims by this language. Our personal power is given t...

maresie · maresie

when I was with the ex A I really jumped full throttle into his stories of what he was going to do. I would rage and rail and rage some more about what he didn't do and I would really put a lot into all the things he "promised'. Recently I have had the grace to have a co worker who is an alcoholic in my compa...

ElizabethP65 · ElizabethP65

I am new here and looking for those who can offer experience, strength and hope for dealing with an affair. My AH is 8 years sober. When we met, he was very active with meetings and sponsorship. Actually, one of the things which attracted me was the AA principles he was teaching me without my even kn...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I see your online. We need an OP in chat to boot someone who's been causing problems all week. Looks like he's got a new ip!

Festfan · Festfan

I'm catching up on reading this morning and have gotten through only a few topics when two things jumped out at me and almost SMACKED me they were so relevant... the fantasies in my head and the illusion of a fairy tale ending. I started to comment as a reply to someones post - but decided to go ALL OUT wit...

Suzi1965 · Suzi1965

Hi Everyone! In the chatroom the other day I mentioned I was looking for books/websites etc... to help me with the 12 steps, and a member mentioned a "Blue Print" book that helped with step 4. Another member mentioned a different book that covered questions for all the steps, but, I cant r...

Tracy · Tracy

MY ABF has accepted he is an alcoholic he has been in AA since May 2009 and had a slip in Nov went straight back to AA. He has moved into his mums and is fighting hard to beat this disease. He lost his job when he had the slip also. He says he needs to sort his life. He needs to get a job, get a driving licience p...

Suzi1965 · Suzi1965

I just tried to get in the chat room and it says I have been added to the channels Auto Kick Ban List?? I was there earlier with no problems. Will someone please tell me how to fix this please. I dont want to miss my meetings... Thanks guys!

Jay N · Jay N

I have a speech class and wanted to do one of my speeches on Al-Anon (I have been in the program 2+ years). I want to speak only on my personal experience and of course, not anything that anyone else has said in a meeting or anything like that, but I'm wondering if I may be crossing a line by speaking about it p...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Things are slightly improving on the home front. I am still going with the marriage option and I am reconciled with that decision. I can't see the future but I hope it improves the situation for everyone. Only time will tell. I have decided to start getting the focus back on me doing what I need to be d...

Wolfie · Wolfie

If anyone from AA or Al-Anon happens to find themselves in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia with nothing to do on the weekend of Feb. 19-21, feel free to drop in to the Holiday Inn on Wyse Road for the 32nd annual midwinter roundup. Its gonna be a blast.

Melissa21 · Melissa21

I think we have a couple ppl harassing us...for sure one and I think he's inviting his friends. We've even typed in something to go to another room and they are following...

abbyal · abbyal

CAN WE GET A COUPLE OF OPS IN THE ROOM ABOUT 10--ISH AT NITE - IN COGNITO WOULD WORK. WE HAVE THIS WHACKO WHO COME IN ABOUT 9-12AM LATELY WHO LOVES TO DISRUPT EVERYONE AND SENDS NASTY REMARKS INTO THE ROOM . KEEPS CHANGING NICK NAMES . AND IP ADDYS ALSO .. WHEN ASKED TO LEAVE HE LIKES TO FLOOD THE ROOM ... ...

HollyGolightly · HollyGolightly

Hi Everyone, I have never done this before, and I am new to Al-Anon, that being said, I am no stranger to Alcoholics and their behavioral and emotional tendencies. So here is my story and subsequent question. I share a long and varied past with a now recovering alcoholic. We have spent the past five ye...

Suri81 · Suri81

Hi all. I am new here and my brother is an alcoholic. He has drank for many years (it never was a problem till about 6 years ago). He is only 34, but I am wondering if he has signs of the so called "wet brain' It is like his whole personality has changed even when he claims he has only had 2 beers. He acts...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It seems that every milestone I reach, something changes in me. I guess that is the way it is supposed to be. One of my friends, actually my sponsor is celebrating 40 years this weekend. I hope she doesn't mind me saying so. I have been able to reflect on my 40th bday lately. It was a very difficult time for...

maresie · maresie

the above quote is from Jenny Sanford. Some of you may remember her husband then Governor of South Carolina had a very public issue. I have to say I admire her detachment, focus and clarity. If you are interested she will be on 20/20 on Friday with Barbara Walters. There are some people who do recover...

Rora · Rora

What is the difference for you between loving someone and being detached from them vs not loving them?

Melissa21 · Melissa21

So my sons father is supposedly in treatment. He says he's doing it so when court comes and I bring up his past habits it wont matter anymore. Or is it really court ordered from his DUI in Sept that he insists was dropped weeks later after a piss test showed his level below the limit? Last night on my way home...

supermom · supermom

So here I am again on this same topic. I have been married to my recovering A for 6 years. In those 6 years it has always been our house rule that there is no smoking in our house. In the last week, I came hoe to find a cigarette butt floating in the toilet. I told AH that it was unacceptable. I don't want ou...

John · John

A few weeks back I asked the members of Miracles In Progress for financial help so the needs of the newcomer into the MIP Recovery Homes could be better met by Rose and I during such a trying economic time. I believe in accountability and transparency in such matters. To say the very least, I was absolut...

montrose · montrose

I've thought about joining al-anon several times, but could never get up enough courage to take that first step. this should be the happiest time of my life. After 6 years of fertility treatments, I finally brought home a beautiful daughter 2 weeks ago. But I'm married to a functional alcoholic. H...

ARSK · ARSK

I am sort of relapsing I guess. I have this Step Sister. Her personality type as I see it is of convinces. When I am in town everything is great, everyone is family. When I leave town, the phone calls stop and its like the visit never happened. I always feel a bit burnt after leaving. This situation o...

Angels Dream · Angels Dream

Glad to meet everyone, Im from Ohio Just found the online site, Trying to get back into the local meetings been out for while so much going on with my son. Nice meeting you all

Gailey · Gailey

We are expecting around 2 feet of snow today and tomorrow.. I will be stuck in the house all weekend but I am being positive about it. I have some new Wii games to learn how to play, lots of Alanon literature to read and of course there is always Lifetime tv. I wanted to share that I got to see my granddaughter...

Codependent · Codependent

So...The A's Sister in Law told me last night that his roommate is apparently an active addict per the A and that the roommate is bringing two girls down to visit this weekend. Anyway, the assumption was made that my A is also using again, etc. I don't know as I have not spoke to him since Sat since his tat...

maresie · maresie

For once this year Valentine's day does not hover over me like a neon sign that I am not loved. I spent many a year feeling like I was undeserving if I did not have someone to give me a valentines. The ex A did under duress but never spontaneously. I settled for so little in the name of having someone, someo...

GlamMetalBunny · GlamMetalBunny

well here i am looking for help on the internet ...i dont even know if why i am here is worthing complaining about..i have read other post and mine seems so petty compared to others. i met a man 5 years ago who is 11 years older than i am i fell in love with him at his worst. He drank alot and did drugs well that al...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

We found out today that my AH will be having his driver's license suspended for 3 years because of his DUI. There's a chance that he can get a special license in 90 days to drive himself to/from work, but he will have an ignition lock device on his vehicle for the 3 years plus 2 years after he gets his licens...

Codependent · Codependent

Are there any sites that are dedicated just to codependents? I know a lot of my stuff is alanon, but some of it is straight codependency sickness...? Just can't seem to find a site that is anywhere near what we have here. :)

moemoe · moemoe

I will be attending my first al-anon meeting tomorrow night. I'm really looking forward to it. Because I haven't been to a meeting yet, I don't know much about enabling, trying to control an alcoholic's drinking, codependency, etc. I'm really freaking out and need some advice until I can get to a me...

Codependent · Codependent

I texted the A tonight...just real casual...couldn't stand it...hadn't talked to him in a week. He didn't respond and now I feel weak and bad that I gave in.

Gailey · Gailey

After I do that...then what? I have been spending a lot of time alone just thinking about what I want for the rest of my life. Can you accept that you cannot change something but not accept that it cannot be changed? I don't even know if that sounds right. I can accept that I cannot change certain things bu...

glad · glad

I've always been proud the fact that I don't try to control my children. Now 26 and 21 I felt I encouraged them to make their own decisions they are both great! Well long story short as possible my youngest was invited to live with the couple she works for at a small but successful retail store in our town 3 y...

miss lucy · miss lucy

hi all. not sure how i am feeling at the moment. some relief, some sadness i guess! its been a bad day of sorts but one that i have been expecting since i left AH 1 month ago today. we have been spending quite a bit of time together recently and i really thought he was changing for the better. today AH kill...

Criket · Criket

Hello All, I am new here and am asking for help. I can not attend f2f meetings due to being almost completely homebound/ car accident, back injury. Can someone help me to get started here?

pineapple · pineapple

We are having some work done in our house using cement. Days ago we picked the color it was going to be. Yesterday A went into town to buy the tint for the cement. He usually volunteers to go into town for anyhting we need because he can buy himself a bottle there. He had not had a drink in two days and I hated to...

BatonRougian · BatonRougian

Im just looking for some reality from those of you who left the true love of your life because of the hurt and mistrust of active drug/alcohol addiction. How long before you didnt feel so attatched? How long before you felt like you werent in love anymore? Whats the process like? I know I have to move on bu...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Lord give me grace to slow down my pace, for you said you would walk with me~not race!:) thanks Jozie:)

nala · nala

My boyfriend and I separated 4 months ago, he left me after having had an emotional affair and deciding he wanted to quit drinking. He thought he could only do it alone, and alone he is, he has moved into the mountains, cut off his phone, etc. He has not been to a meeting. Now he has been sober a month and we...

Helpless-Hopeless · Helpless-Hopeless

I am currently living in a relationship that has gotten much worse over the past few years due to alcholism. Of course, I am the only one who thinks he has a problem. He continually denies it and yet I am always the one left feeling angry, hurt, helpless, hopeless. I need help and support.

Jerry F · Jerry F

and I'm hoping that this time someone takes home my "blamer". This tool hasn't ever worked since I got into Al-Anon and I've not been able to get rid of it either. I picked it up today and tried to use it and it still wouldn't work. When I tried to put in back in the back of the tool cabinet it didn...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Just this morning my copy of "News & Views" (The monthly magazine of the Al-Anon Family Group in the UK and Eire), dropped through my letter box, and in it was this little gem: Thought for the month Let not my thinking become confused by listening to too many opinions, but let me consider...

Jozie · Jozie

I just wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MS. SHELLYJ123 :O) Love & Prayers for a Wonderful Day... :o-) Jozie

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I just need someone to reel me in off this ledge. In my head I know I can no longer stay with my Abf I'm just waiting for my heart to catch up. He's NEVER going to change. He is always going to do what he can to manipulate situations, always stay selfish and put me through hell. At the end of an argument I feel...

SerenityGirl · SerenityGirl

Hi all--I found a percocet (my A does use pills too) and while I keep to myself about the alcohol, I am not sure what to do about this...any thoughts. I found it on the floor...put it back? Throw it out? Hand it to him? Take it myself and wash it down with a shot (j/k). Anyway, I'm not by any stretch tortured b...

BostonFern · BostonFern

I have a lot of emotional pain and I thought it would be good for me to find a sponsor to work on it. A woman in a meeting said her strength is compassion and empathy, so I asked her to be a sponsor to work out my pain. I didn't really know her that well. We had one hour of phone conversation. During the con...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

HI everyone! I am doing OK today--just want to check in! Life is good; don't take it for granted & keep the faith always or you might end up like I did right after I joined Alanon. Now I can see where I went wrong but it still gets me. Even after 24 years, I am still remember & sometimes relive my past...

SheWolf · SheWolf

I am finding myself in quite a position. My A has been home now for almost a week, after being gone for 4 months (3 months in treatment). It is so uncomfortable in the house. I tend to be sensitive to negative energy, and you could slice the tension in the air. I have been continuing to try to do my own thing...

Suzi1965 · Suzi1965

I read something in todays Courage to Change that really struck me, and I wanted to share it with yall and hopefully any newcomers because I have found it to be so true. on page 33/Feb. 2nd it says (in part): When I came to Al-Anon, I found alot of people who had decided to climb down from their ladders into a...

Tracy · Tracy

Something I have noticed the more I focus on me my life , my problems and hand everyone else over to HP the better my life becomes. My problems are I can not stand to see people in pain or struggling with problems. But we have to struggle sometimes to learn.. All the pain I have been through has lead to me com...

smartkat · smartkat

I am looking for something to spark a conversation with my nieces. Their mother is the alcholic but the father is just as dysfunctional.

brightmommy · brightmommy

I am going through a divorce. He has cheated multiple times on me throughout our marriage. Now that we are separated he accuses me of cheating anytime I leave comments on a facebook page of the opposite sex. How can I stop reacting to his actions. I say rotten things that I normally would not say when...

Jellybean1707 · Jellybean1707

hi, i posted a topic earlier in the week called 'somewhere to vent'. my mum had gone off the rails once again and had nearly killed herself. However since that day she's been sober, she tells me she really scared herself and desn't want t put us through it anymore and eventhough its only been 3 days i want t...

smartkat · smartkat

I'm not talking about slogans in the book. I am talking about things like "Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!"

jasobel · jasobel

I have so much going on at once in my life- I am overwhelmed with grief. My ex A boyfriend who left me 3 months ago for another woman pops in and out of my life; my good friend is of dying of cancer; my ex-husband isn't paying support, and the list goes on and on. I feel like I am drowning in a sea of emotions and f...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Secondary Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (Preview) I've heard it said that if we stay in the alcoholic situation long enough, we become as sick as the alcoholic. I have found that to be true. What is disturbing to me is that I seem to be experiencing PTSD symptoms some 6 months after the divorce. Mind you this is not my first divorce from an alcoholic. I have...	Overcome	6	1780	Feb 8, 2010 by Iamhere
	A little confusion (Preview) "If we could extract the "I" from our thoughts, some of us would lose our focus. We have a tendency to think only of our comfort, our convenience, our point of view, our feelings, and our happiness. What if we made a conscious effort every day to put someone else first? What would it cost...	carolinagirl	4	811	Feb 8, 2010 by Iamhere
	The A called this Morning (Preview) Left me a message saying he was doing well. He sorta admonished me that he didn't like the fact that I only texted him and didn't ever answer my phone and perhaps that was why he had been out of touch. I did not call rehab about possible drug use. Don't know if he is/was using, but have decided to mind my ow...	Codependent	5	865	Feb 8, 2010 by jasobel
	Just trying to be still.....Expectations v/s Desires..........ESH needed (Preview) The past few days I have been struggling....Grateful but struggling somewhat.<BR><BR>For some reason EXABF has been in my thoughts over and over again and I have been praying to HP to please remove any thoughts or feelings I have left for him in my mind and heart.  It is hard to...	shellyj123	2	735	Feb 8, 2010 by maresie
	You're making ME sick (Preview) I posted about this a year ago or so but I have found it very interesting to ponder -- in our English language we use expressions like, 'you are giving me a head ache' , 'you are making me feel this or that' or 'you are making me crazy'. It is like we are victims by this language. Our personal power is given t...	kitty	8	1205	Feb 8, 2010 by carolinagirl
	Drunkathons (Preview) when I was with the ex A I really jumped full throttle into his stories of what he was going to do. I would rage and rail and rage some more about what he didn't do and I would really put a lot into all the things he "promised'. Recently I have had the grace to have a co worker who is an alcoholic in my compa...	maresie	6	830	Feb 8, 2010 by serching-sandy
	Dry Drunk Infidelity (Preview) I am new here and looking for those who can offer experience, strength and hope for dealing with an affair. My AH is 8 years sober. When we met, he was very active with meetings and sponsorship. Actually, one of the things which attracted me was the AA principles he was teaching me without my even kn...	ElizabethP65	2	1666	Feb 8, 2010 by Jerry F
	BLENGER GIRL!! (Preview) I see your online. We need an OP in chat to boot someone who's been causing problems all week. Looks like he's got a new ip!	Melissa21	2	527	Feb 7, 2010 by blender_girl
	Fantasies and Fairy Tale Endings (Preview) I'm catching up on reading this morning and have gotten through only a few topics when two things jumped out at me and almost SMACKED me they were so relevant... the fantasies in my head and the illusion of a fairy tale ending. I started to comment as a reply to someones post - but decided to go ALL OUT wit...	Festfan	4	876	Feb 7, 2010 by Iamhere
	Looking for Al-Anon Lit. and need help (Preview) Hi Everyone! In the chatroom the other day I mentioned I was looking for books/websites etc... to help me with the 12 steps, and a member mentioned a "Blue Print" book that helped with step 4. Another member mentioned a different book that covered questions for all the steps, but, I cant r...	Suzi1965	7	1327	Feb 7, 2010 by Festfan
	lonely (Preview) MY ABF has accepted he is an alcoholic he has been in AA since May 2009 and had a slip in Nov went straight back to AA. He has moved into his mums and is fighting hard to beat this disease. He lost his job when he had the slip also. He says he needs to sort his life. He needs to get a job, get a driving licience p...	Tracy	4	811	Feb 7, 2010 by kitty
	Help Ive been banned from the chatroom and dont know how to fix it... (Preview) I just tried to get in the chat room and it says I have been added to the channels Auto Kick Ban List?? I was there earlier with no problems. Will someone please tell me how to fix this please. I dont want to miss my meetings... Thanks guys!	Suzi1965	4	615	Feb 7, 2010 by Suzi1965
	Appreciate your help with a 12 Traditions Question... (Preview) I have a speech class and wanted to do one of my speeches on Al-Anon (I have been in the program 2+ years). I want to speak only on my personal experience and of course, not anything that anyone else has said in a meeting or anything like that, but I'm wondering if I may be crossing a line by speaking about it p...	Jay N	5	1037	Feb 7, 2010 by abbyal
	Update on my situation (Preview) Things are slightly improving on the home front. I am still going with the marriage option and I am reconciled with that decision. I can't see the future but I hope it improves the situation for everyone. Only time will tell. I have decided to start getting the focus back on me doing what I need to be d...	carolinagirl	5	748	Feb 7, 2010 by mac57
	A Recovery Event (Preview) If anyone from AA or Al-Anon happens to find themselves in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia with nothing to do on the weekend of Feb. 19-21, feel free to drop in to the Holiday Inn on Wyse Road for the 32nd annual midwinter roundup. Its gonna be a blast.	Wolfie	0	509	Feb 6, 2010 by Wolfie
	OP PLEASE in chat!! (Preview) I think we have a couple ppl harassing us...for sure one and I think he's inviting his friends. We've even typed in something to go to another room and they are following...	Melissa21	1	582	Feb 6, 2010 by Wolfie
	NEED OP'S IN THE ROOM AT NITE (Preview) CAN WE GET A COUPLE OF OPS IN THE ROOM ABOUT 10--ISH AT NITE - IN COGNITO WOULD WORK. WE HAVE THIS WHACKO WHO COME IN ABOUT 9-12AM LATELY WHO LOVES TO DISRUPT EVERYONE AND SENDS NASTY REMARKS INTO THE ROOM . KEEPS CHANGING NICK NAMES . AND IP ADDYS ALSO .. WHEN ASKED TO LEAVE HE LIKES TO FLOOD THE ROOM ... ...	abbyal	1	684	Feb 6, 2010 by Wolfie
	Confused over a Recovering A. Please help! (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have never done this before, and I am new to Al-Anon, that being said, I am no stranger to Alcoholics and their behavioral and emotional tendencies. So here is my story and subsequent question. I share a long and varied past with a now recovering alcoholic. We have spent the past five ye...	HollyGolightly	7	1159	Feb 6, 2010 by Wolfie
	New here and need advice about alcoholic brother's behavior! (Preview) Hi all. I am new here and my brother is an alcoholic. He has drank for many years (it never was a problem till about 6 years ago). He is only 34, but I am wondering if he has signs of the so called "wet brain' It is like his whole personality has changed even when he claims he has only had 2 beers. He acts...	Suri81	4	1212	Feb 6, 2010 by maresie
	Milestones (Preview) It seems that every milestone I reach, something changes in me. I guess that is the way it is supposed to be. One of my friends, actually my sponsor is celebrating 40 years this weekend. I hope she doesn't mind me saying so. I have been able to reflect on my 40th bday lately. It was a very difficult time for...	Hoot Nanny	1	836	Feb 6, 2010 by Jerry F
	What matters most is how you live your life, not what you have to show for it," (Preview) the above quote is from Jenny Sanford. Some of you may remember her husband then Governor of South Carolina had a very public issue. I have to say I admire her detachment, focus and clarity. If you are interested she will be on 20/20 on Friday with Barbara Walters. There are some people who do recover...	maresie	3	1441	Feb 6, 2010 by Iamhere
	A question ... (Preview) What is the difference for you between loving someone and being detached from them vs not loving them?	Rora	11	892	Feb 6, 2010 by RLC
	He says he's in treatment? (Preview) So my sons father is supposedly in treatment. He says he's doing it so when court comes and I bring up his past habits it wont matter anymore. Or is it really court ordered from his DUI in Sept that he insists was dropped weeks later after a piss test showed his level below the limit? Last night on my way home...	Melissa21	11	857	Feb 6, 2010 by Mattie
	unacceptable behavior - again (Preview) So here I am again on this same topic. I have been married to my recovering A for 6 years. In those 6 years it has always been our house rule that there is no smoking in our house. In the last week, I came hoe to find a cigarette butt floating in the toilet. I told AH that it was unacceptable. I don't want ou...	supermom	4	1093	Feb 6, 2010 by Mattie
	You know who you are... A simple Thank You. (Preview) A few weeks back I asked the members of Miracles In Progress for financial help so the needs of the newcomer into the MIP Recovery Homes could be better met by Rose and I during such a trying economic time. I believe in accountability and transparency in such matters. To say the very least, I was absolut...	John	0	646	Feb 6, 2010 by John
	Am I expecting too much (Preview) I've thought about joining al-anon several times, but could never get up enough courage to take that first step. this should be the happiest time of my life. After 6 years of fertility treatments, I finally brought home a beautiful daughter 2 weeks ago. But I'm married to a functional alcoholic. H...	montrose	7	709	Feb 6, 2010 by Festfan
	Extended Family (Preview) I am sort of relapsing I guess. I have this Step Sister. Her personality type as I see it is of convinces. When I am in town everything is great, everyone is family. When I leave town, the phone calls stop and its like the visit never happened. I always feel a bit burnt after leaving. This situation o...	ARSK	3	813	Feb 6, 2010 by Iamhere
	Newbie Here from Ohio (Preview) Glad to meet everyone, Im from Ohio Just found the online site, Trying to get back into the local meetings been out for while so much going on with my son. Nice meeting you all	Angels Dream	8	866	Feb 6, 2010 by Iamhere
	waiting for the snowstorm (Preview) We are expecting around 2 feet of snow today and tomorrow.. I will be stuck in the house all weekend but I am being positive about it. I have some new Wii games to learn how to play, lots of Alanon literature to read and of course there is always Lifetime tv. I wanted to share that I got to see my granddaughter...	Gailey	7	876	Feb 6, 2010 by Iamhere
	I think he is using in rehab...I do nothing right? (Preview) So...The A's Sister in Law told me last night that his roommate is apparently an active addict per the A and that the roommate is bringing two girls down to visit this weekend. Anyway, the assumption was made that my A is also using again, etc. I don't know as I have not spoke to him since Sat since his tat...	Codependent	18	1220	Feb 5, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Valentines Day (Preview) For once this year Valentine's day does not hover over me like a neon sign that I am not loved. I spent many a year feeling like I was undeserving if I did not have someone to give me a valentines. The ex A did under duress but never spontaneously. I settled for so little in the name of having someone, someo...	maresie	12	950	Feb 5, 2010 by ARSK
	Confused not Convinced (Preview) well here i am looking for help on the internet ...i dont even know if why i am here is worthing complaining about..i have read other post and mine seems so petty compared to others. i met a man 5 years ago who is 11 years older than i am i fell in love with him at his worst. He drank alot and did drugs well that al...	GlamMetalBunny	5	907	Feb 5, 2010 by GlamMetalBunny
	I'm So Angry (Preview) We found out today that my AH will be having his driver's license suspended for 3 years because of his DUI. There's a chance that he can get a special license in 90 days to drive himself to/from work, but he will have an ignition lock device on his vehicle for the 3 years plus 2 years after he gets his licens...	N8SMOM	8	852	Feb 5, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	Codependency Groups (Preview) Are there any sites that are dedicated just to codependents? I know a lot of my stuff is alanon, but some of it is straight codependency sickness...? Just can't seem to find a site that is anywhere near what we have here. :)	Codependent	4	1021	Feb 5, 2010 by canadianguy
	Question for everyone (Preview) I will be attending my first al-anon meeting tomorrow night. I'm really looking forward to it. Because I haven't been to a meeting yet, I don't know much about enabling, trying to control an alcoholic's drinking, codependency, etc. I'm really freaking out and need some advice until I can get to a me...	moemoe	7	796	Feb 5, 2010 by kitty
	Need Reassurance... (Preview) I texted the A tonight...just real casual...couldn't stand it...hadn't talked to him in a week. He didn't respond and now I feel weak and bad that I gave in.	Codependent	5	965	Feb 5, 2010 by nmike
	accept the things I cannot change (Preview) After I do that...then what? I have been spending a lot of time alone just thinking about what I want for the rest of my life. Can you accept that you cannot change something but not accept that it cannot be changed? I don't even know if that sounds right. I can accept that I cannot change certain things bu...	Gailey	6	3345	Feb 5, 2010 by Festfan
	About my daughter (Preview) I've always been proud the fact that I don't try to control my children. Now 26 and 21 I felt I encouraged them to make their own decisions they are both great! Well long story short as possible my youngest was invited to live with the couple she works for at a small but successful retail store in our town 3 y...	glad	6	776	Feb 4, 2010 by maresie
	the party is over (Preview) hi all. not sure how i am feeling at the moment. some relief, some sadness i guess! its been a bad day of sorts but one that i have been expecting since i left AH 1 month ago today. we have been spending quite a bit of time together recently and i really thought he was changing for the better. today AH kill...	miss lucy	7	1030	Feb 4, 2010 by maresie
	Hello I am new to this and Alanon (Preview) Hello All, I am new here and am asking for help. I can not attend f2f meetings due to being almost completely homebound/ car accident, back injury. Can someone help me to get started here?	Criket	6	866	Feb 4, 2010 by Criket
	small victory (Preview) We are having some work done in our house using cement. Days ago we picked the color it was going to be. Yesterday A went into town to buy the tint for the cement. He usually volunteers to go into town for anyhting we need because he can buy himself a bottle there. He had not had a drink in two days and I hated to...	pineapple	4	730	Feb 4, 2010 by Iamhere
	Ever Left the Love of Your Life? (Preview) Im just looking for some reality from those of you who left the true love of your life because of the hurt and mistrust of active drug/alcohol addiction. How long before you didnt feel so attatched? How long before you felt like you werent in love anymore? Whats the process like? I know I have to move on bu...	BatonRougian	6	1406	Feb 4, 2010 by carolinagirl
	I abolutely LOVE this!~ it is me to a T! (Preview) Lord give me grace to slow down my pace, for you said you would walk with me~not race!:) thanks Jozie:)	shellyj123	4	843	Feb 3, 2010 by White Rabbit
	obsessive thinking... (Preview) My boyfriend and I separated 4 months ago, he left me after having had an emotional affair and deciding he wanted to quit drinking. He thought he could only do it alone, and alone he is, he has moved into the mountains, cut off his phone, etc. He has not been to a meeting. Now he has been sober a month and we...	nala	6	2202	Feb 3, 2010 by nala
	I am new to this site or any like it! (Preview) I am currently living in a relationship that has gotten much worse over the past few years due to alcholism. Of course, I am the only one who thinks he has a problem. He continually denies it and yet I am always the one left feeling angry, hurt, helpless, hopeless. I need help and support.	Helpless-Hopeless	12	907	Feb 3, 2010 by Helpless-Hopeless
	Gonna have another garage sale... (Preview) and I'm hoping that this time someone takes home my "blamer". This tool hasn't ever worked since I got into Al-Anon and I've not been able to get rid of it either. I picked it up today and tried to use it and it still wouldn't work. When I tried to put in back in the back of the tool cabinet it didn...	Jerry F	10	952	Feb 3, 2010 by Jerry F
	Sorting the wheat from the chaff.... (Preview) Just this morning my copy of "News & Views" (The monthly magazine of the Al-Anon Family Group in the UK and Eire), dropped through my letter box, and in it was this little gem: Thought for the month Let not my thinking become confused by listening to too many opinions, but let me consider...	Suzannah	1	785	Feb 3, 2010 by pineapple
	Birthday Wishes... (Preview) I just wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MS. SHELLYJ123 :O) Love & Prayers for a Wonderful Day... :o-) Jozie	Jozie	7	818	Feb 3, 2010 by shellyj123
	Help me please! (Preview) I just need someone to reel me in off this ledge. In my head I know I can no longer stay with my Abf I'm just waiting for my heart to catch up. He's NEVER going to change. He is always going to do what he can to manipulate situations, always stay selfish and put me through hell. At the end of an argument I feel...	lizzakiss	6	764	Feb 3, 2010 by ythannah
	Found a pill...what should I do? (Preview) Hi all--I found a percocet (my A does use pills too) and while I keep to myself about the alcohol, I am not sure what to do about this...any thoughts. I found it on the floor...put it back? Throw it out? Hand it to him? Take it myself and wash it down with a shot (j/k). Anyway, I'm not by any stretch tortured b...	SerenityGirl	9	994	Feb 3, 2010 by blender_girl
	Deeply wounded by a sponsor (Preview) I have a lot of emotional pain and I thought it would be good for me to find a sponsor to work on it. A woman in a meeting said her strength is compassion and empathy, so I asked her to be a sponsor to work out my pain. I didn't really know her that well. We had one hour of phone conversation. During the con...	BostonFern	17	1268	Feb 3, 2010 by carolinagirl
	JUST WANT TO SAY HI! (Preview) HI everyone! I am doing OK today--just want to check in! Life is good; don't take it for granted & keep the faith always or you might end up like I did right after I joined Alanon. Now I can see where I went wrong but it still gets me. Even after 24 years, I am still remember & sometimes relive my past...	Hoot Nanny	3	611	Feb 2, 2010 by Jerry F
	I don't have a sponsor yet...I need some help...please respond (Preview) I am finding myself in quite a position. My A has been home now for almost a week, after being gone for 4 months (3 months in treatment). It is so uncomfortable in the house. I tend to be sensitive to negative energy, and you could slice the tension in the air. I have been continuing to try to do my own thing...	SheWolf	7	785	Feb 2, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Something I wanted to share with you... (Preview) I read something in todays Courage to Change that really struck me, and I wanted to share it with yall and hopefully any newcomers because I have found it to be so true. on page 33/Feb. 2nd it says (in part): When I came to Al-Anon, I found alot of people who had decided to climb down from their ladders into a...	Suzi1965	4	942	Feb 2, 2010 by White Rabbit
	focusing on me. (Preview) Something I have noticed the more I focus on me my life , my problems and hand everyone else over to HP the better my life becomes. My problems are I can not stand to see people in pain or struggling with problems. But we have to struggle sometimes to learn.. All the pain I have been through has lead to me com...	Tracy	1	575	Feb 2, 2010 by Suzi1965
	Can you think of any moviies that have a "moral" that would be helpful in illustrating a 12 principle? (Preview) I am looking for something to spark a conversation with my nieces. Their mother is the alcholic but the father is just as dysfunctional.	smartkat	11	1134	Feb 2, 2010 by Hoot Nanny
	how do i stop reacting (Preview) I am going through a divorce. He has cheated multiple times on me throughout our marriage. Now that we are separated he accuses me of cheating anytime I leave comments on a facebook page of the opposite sex. How can I stop reacting to his actions. I say rotten things that I normally would not say when...	brightmommy	8	966	Feb 2, 2010 by glad lee
	dare i believe it? (Preview) hi, i posted a topic earlier in the week called 'somewhere to vent'. my mum had gone off the rails once again and had nearly killed herself. However since that day she's been sober, she tells me she really scared herself and desn't want t put us through it anymore and eventhough its only been 3 days i want t...	Jellybean1707	5	820	Feb 2, 2010 by abbyal
	What are you favorite PERSONAL slogans? (Preview) I'm not talking about slogans in the book. I am talking about things like "Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!"	smartkat	16	1153	Feb 2, 2010 by Rita G
	desperate for relief - don't know how to find peace (Preview) I have so much going on at once in my life- I am overwhelmed with grief. My ex A boyfriend who left me 3 months ago for another woman pops in and out of my life; my good friend is of dying of cancer; my ex-husband isn't paying support, and the list goes on and on. I feel like I am drowning in a sea of emotions and f...	jasobel	7	923	Feb 2, 2010 by Tracy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.