Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Katy · Katy

I took it upon myself to try and take control of everything, I don't think I had many days when I wouldn't think if you hadn't done that, or this hadn't of happened I would of had a good day, after a while it went outside the home everyone was getting at me, I was at war with the world, I was wondering how I could...

Northof60 · Northof60

The last few days have been bad. I have tried to detach. Tried not to get wrapped up in his world. I think I do pretty good considering. My dad used to drink a lot but I don't remember him being at all like my AH. We were in couples counselling together this morning. Basically he rants. He is convinced that ev...

oscarmom · oscarmom

my husband has been sober about 100 days. that's the good news. bad news, he hasn't broken the lying habit. case in point: after he returned from rehab we were in the car, I opened the glove box to look for something and found a bottle of herbs for male enhancement. not like Viagra, but something you take d...

okwitt · okwitt

I'm feelin nervous . MY son says he call recovery house today. They say there is still a big list for him not to worry- sure they won't worry. Say they will send letter when opening comes. I wonder if he even called? or am I getting paranoid??

rrayrray · rrayrray

I am so busy I can not get to a meeting. I took vacation, went to visit family after 3 years out of state. So far behind at eh office I can not breathe. Here is the deal, I am struggling with a phone call I got from my brother who lives in a mission. The mission burnt down and he called to tell me he was okay. Of cour...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

You had written in a recent post to someone on this board to "step back a bit and put just enough distance between you & your alcoholic so that HP can take up that space . . ." I hope this reasonated with whom you addressed it to, as well as others on this board. It surely did with me. I read...

okwitt · okwitt

Why do I get this feeling that you guys think i'm from outer space? When I post I'm not getting any replies. Just cause my alcoholic is adult son doesn't mean I am not hurting and trying to learn. I'm hurting, and yes I've looked up brochures and trying to start on steps. I'm not getting to far in the meetin...

All I can be · All I can be

Today is my 2 year anniversary of stopping drinking. To stop was like taking the bus to work., the job doesnt start till you get there. What would keep me stopped and avoid me being a dry drunk or changing addictions was my question. Today I needed to better visualize why I have no interest in drinking at a...

Garrett · Garrett

My wife and I have been in a really bad cycle for a few months now. For about a year, she would drink 1 bottle of red wine every 2-3 days. This isn't a trend I liked, but it could have been worse. It's progressively gotten worse to where she now has a bottle of wine and then asks me to get more for her. Before...

Adabnu · Adabnu

It was the 23rd day since I walked away from him. Got a call from him today and he sounded like very sad and all he wanted was to talk.But I can't talk to him because every time when I talk to him since we broke up, I just feel more upset and miserable. So what I did was to tell him that I can't talk to him as I will ge...

Greenvalleygal · Greenvalleygal

My son has been in Rehab twice and each time he remains sober and clean for a couple of months but slides right back into his old habits. He is unable to keep a job but is currently working. He had two days off and has drank nonstop. When he drinks he tries to provoke an argument with anyone and everyone. ...

Aloha · Aloha

I had an interesting thought occur to me yesterday evening when I was driving home from work. I'd recently gone through an experience at my new place where I came across a stray cat that turned out to be really friendly. I'd been thinking that at some point in time, I'd like to get a pet (I was thinking a par...

Cosmos · Cosmos

Hi Its been a while since last time I wrote anything here. I have described earlier how I entered Al-Anon in a desperate attempt at first to save a relationship with my ex-girlfriend who is an alcoholic in recovery. My reasons for staying in Al-Anon turned out to be very different as I started to realiz...

babysteps · babysteps

I haven't been around here for a while, but I thought I would give an update. I was married to my AH for 10.5 years, all of which he struggled with his disease. Once he sought help I hoped and prayed for his sobriety, only to be disappointed over and over. I finally asked him to leave in December '08. He has be...

iloveanalcoholic · iloveanalcoholic

i have been sober for 3+ years. i fell in love with a man in the program who had about a year and a half on me. the man i fell in love with (sober and giving back) was not the man he became. he stopped going to meetings, became incredibly resentful at everyone and everything and turned into a dry drunk. n...

MommysGirl · MommysGirl

Hello Everyone, I am new to the boards. My A is my mother. She is currently in her second round of detox. Last time, I thought she would be one of the lucky ones who beat this disease after only one try. We staged an intervention, and she agreed to detox and an inpatient rehab. Before she even finished...

cpigg · cpigg

Good evening I have a 17 yr old girl who has been caught with alcohol, smoking ,and has confessed to smoking marijuana several times time. She claims this is normal and thats what all kids do. After coming down on her she will after time give the same story Ive learned my lesson until the next time we have...

bev1965 · bev1965

OMG dont know where to start. Long history with a's. First husband alcholic, father of my 17 yr old son (going into US marines next summer ughh already enlisted in dep)...My first hubsand and I were divorced 1 year or so after marriage. My son a baby. My a was in and out of our lives for next 5 years, rehab, j...

QOD · QOD

I did not hear from my exah/bf all day yesterday. He did not go to school. I know this b/c mid-morning my son told me he was still at the house. You see, we do not live together. He lives w/his grandma. We were supposed to spend all day Sunday together as a family and he was a no show. I texted him several...

rxygrl · rxygrl

I am having a hard time not reacting my As negativity even though he is out of town and far away from me right now. He is working out of state and keeps wanting to come home early even though he agreed with his employer about the time required. He is waiting for me to give him approval to leave early which I h...

Katy · Katy

Yep I do that, I come out with sweeping statements and at the time of saying my stuff I really do say what I mean and I say it mean sometimes, I guess whilst I still live with my husband, habits of a life time, are very hard to break and since straight forward communication is not something that has happened h...

Members service outside the groups · Jerry F

Aloha Family...this is an encouragement post cause I looked at who I am contacting and how in my town and country and found that I was missing contacting the fellowship. If you have time in the program and are walking it...done the requirements and suggestions and had deep personal success let me enc...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

Hi, I'm Carol, alanon. I'm a mess now. I am h aving dental work done; the anesthetic is wearing off now and I hope the pain won't be too bad. It's a very difficult root canal---have to go back to endodontist in 2 weeks---he says it's a "tough tooth", wants to give it his "undivided attenti...

ireland429 · ireland429

I just don't know what to do. Last night I found a stash of empty gin bottles that my fiancé was trying to sneak out of the house (god love him, he's so forgetful, forgot to take them with him when he left and left them lying on the floor by the door.) I've always known that he drank, more than I wanted him to, b...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

I went to the online meeting tonight (6pm PDT) and it was good topics. Feeling alone and trusting HP and detaching---all topics I could really relate to. I have doubted HP lately. So much pain and grief right now. Dental work, expenses, issues with my roommate/best friend, marital issues, physical...

Ri · Ri

First off, I am new here.... I have been with my ABF for 4 years now, although we have been seperated now for almost 9 months. I left him in October, taking our 1 year old daughter with me, who is now almost 2. He started drinking around age 14, alcoholic by 16 and drank daily, on and off drug use for 16 years....

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

My AH went to work at 6:30 am. and is not home yet, he called and said he had to work late today. It is now 10:30 p.m. I've been sitting here fretting and worrying about if he is still at work or if he "fell off the wagon." I have completed every task I could think of while "waiting" for...

jettiesgirl · jettiesgirl

Hi again. Posted a couple months ago. ABF had gone to detox. I was hopeful. Well, he's now convinced himself he doesn't have a problem. If I bring up his drinking, he gets nasty and defensive. He's not living with me, but he lives in my building with a friend, so he's always around. Luckily, he has to move o...

sadsib · sadsib

Hi, I'm new to the group. I'm not sure if this is what you're supposed to write, but my older brother is an alcoholic and drug user. He has struggled for 14 years now, so I have 14 years of heartbreaking stories and frustrations, but right now I'd really like to talk about his current situation. He's...

QOD · QOD

I have been back together w/my ex husband for almost 2 years now. We were married for 15 years. Separated for 1 year and divorced for almost a year before we got back together. We do not live together...just dating. So he suffers from depression and is not being treated for it. He is in school right no...

Nalina · Nalina

I am missing my ABF and my apartment very, very much. My thoughts are becoming more clear and the depression from the past 2 weeks of chaos is finally lifting a little, but I am considering going back. No decisions are going to be made on my part right away, but I do (kind of) want to go back. (Even though now...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Friends, I come here every day for my daily dose of al-anon. I don't post much anymore, mostly due to time, but I am off today, all is quiet except what is spinning around in my head. Amazing, how I always hear/read what I need. I just read about "ask an A what time it is and he will tell you how to buil...

imwithstupid · imwithstupid

I've heared it said many times that we can say nothing to the A to beat them up more than they have already said to themselves. I don't understand this because my AH has an ego the size of Charleston, WV and demonstrates nothing to suggest that he believes anything he's doing is a problem. If he is in tota...

imwithstupid · imwithstupid

I see that along with detachment, I have a huge issue with control and I am sure it could be classified as trying to "control," but yesterday before I went to my morning al-anon meeting, I just had to try and talk to my AH while he was sober because I'm sure he never examines what he's doing othe...

Adabnu · Adabnu

Dear all, It has been a tough weekend. My EXAH called me so many times last night, i eventually turned off the phone. I did not even try to listen to the messages last night because I wanted to have a peaceful night. This morning, I started listening to his messages, most of them were related to the fact he w...

need lots of help · need lots of help

So AH had a heat stroke yesterday and had to be taken to the ER. While there they did blood tests and found out that it seems like he has "renal insuffency". They highly recommended that he see a doctor immediately. So he says he wants to go next week, let's see. I guess it was a blessing that...

Northof60 · Northof60

I have been married to my AH for 14 years. He was a heavy drinker when I met him but so was I back then. We had fun and that was all that mattered. Nothing seemed out of control. I always had issues with his communication skills - or lack of them. He would appear paranoid about somebody and then obsess for week...

never going back · never going back

Well, it's been a chaotic time for the past couple of weeks but for once, it's NOT due to my AH! He is in his 3rd week of not drinking, going to meetings every night, and just generally being the wonderful person that he is when he is sober. It's a good thing, because with everything else I've been going thro...

Sansui1210 · Sansui1210

A person dear to me introduced me to this website recently. What a blessing! In the short time I have been lurking I have learned so much. I can relate to some stories. I cried for the first time. It felt good, so I cried some more. The hardest part for me is the first step. "We admitted we were pow...

John · John

From me to many of you, (those who wrote and those who simply read, and most important those who prayed) To each and every person who responded to my post about the young man who died last week and was buried this weekend, my heart embraced every word you shared with me. Intellecutally, I already knew wh...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I need to apologize for yesterday to my husband of almost 11 years! Yesterday I was awful & kept calling him a MORON for pretty much nothing; although I have to admit he was acting kinda stupid! I really just called him a moron under my breath; basically to myself. What's up with that? I didn't even ac...

goincrazyinky · goincrazyinky

My daughter is a drug addict, 40 yrs old. Her 3 sons, ages 18, 19, and 20 are pot addicts. Five years ago, our daughter started drugs, lost her good job, lost her home, her vehicle. Her 3 sons got hooked on pot to deal with living with her actions. For about a year, she went to a housing project with her b...

punkydoodah · punkydoodah

She has never been a very stable human being, but now, after almost a year of sneaking around trying to see this boy (who spends his free time in juvenile hall), she has still not stopped lying to me. She's always been silly, vulnerable, gullible and deceptive, manipulative to get what she wants. I am ca...

helpme08 · helpme08

So my AH does not care that he is a Type 1 diabetic and continues to drink and thinks that he can hide it! He is so mean when he drinks. I love him to death when he has not had a drop. Because of financial reasons, I cannot leave. We have a 7 year old son that means the world to us. But my AH forgets how much o...

barisax · barisax

On the day of my divorce court hearing, I decided to go alone. I had a few offers of support, but something told me I needed to go do this alone. My marriage had been one without much of a social life and I thought that in it's finality, I should be reminded of that fact. When I got there, wife was there with...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

My husband will not move out because according to him "he has no place to go". I feel the kids and I should NOT be the ones leaving especially since it's stress on the kids. Him living in this house is already stressful enough. It's dumb that I have to put up with his behavior instead of my lit...

Katy · Katy

But how then can we do that, well for me it happened when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired, first of all you need a huge dose of acceptence of what is and not what you would like it to be, my a will not hug me or see my pain, he doesn't with anyone he is very closed, I did take it personally untill I lear...

barisax · barisax

How many of you remember that year? Wow. It's probably the most significant year in my entire life and boy do I remember it. Everything in my childhood can be divided into pre and post-1968. How I perceive things changed forever. I thought I was growing up, and maybe in some ways I was, but I was also...

kerry5 · kerry5

Next meeting will be first Sunday of the Month in August. If you have anything that you would like added to the agenda please let me know thank you. Kerry aka kerisha

Christie92 · Christie92

So much to say...don't know where to start. I'll just say that I'm not even sure my son is an alcoholic, but if he isn't, he might be on his way. I don't know if he's just doing the "teenage" thing...or if he's really addicted to alcohol. Lets just put it this way. He is very open about "l...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

I will miss coming here and being with those that understand the pain of addiction in the people we love. I need to be with my husband and my youngest son (age 17 with Autism). I have put boundries up with my AS (age 30) that I have never done before, he may have to live on the streets before he hits his bottom...

buick23 · buick23

A few days ago my bf told me working on cars is like an addiction but so much better than drinking. Isn't that cool? He hasn't drank in years and finally found something he really loves to do. buick

nmike · nmike

I finished my 4th step inventory awhile back. I didn't quite know how to make an amends. The two people whom I have terrible relationships with are my mother and my AHsober (who left). How could I make an amends when I blame them for all my troubles. I have been staying with my mother short term while I work...

okwitt · okwitt

If anyone remembers me...no I can't go f2f meetings..it would be 150 mile round trip. Adult son who is my a is still waiting for a bed. By the way.. he is going to a recovery house for 30 days. They use the 12 steps. But they also use R.o.p.e.s program. Does anyone know about the ropes? My A son is still livi...

Jennifer · Jennifer

My xah has let me know he is in an intensive treatment facility, a requirement of his prison sentence or an early release program I imagine. I feel ashamed after reading his letter notifying me of a change of address that I felt no hope, my only real thought was ... ahhh gonna spend another 6 months or so p...

imwithstupid · imwithstupid

I am new here and have read several other posts and of course the similarities to my situation haven't gone unnoticed. I am sick thinking of the over 20 years I have wasted with my compulsive gambling/alcoholic third husband. Since I am an addict magnet, the other two weren't much better. I thou...

Katy · Katy

Pheeeeeeeweeeeeee, just back from second interview of the week, two jobs plucked out of thin air and two jobs on offer to me,wow what a turn around, it's very hard to try and do something differently, and you wonder how can I? In the situations here we find ourselves in we think and project the outcome wi...

minawillie · minawillie

Hello everyone, I posted a few day's ago about the death of my mother. She was found dead in her house last Wednesday & was estimated by the medical examiner to have been dead for at least a week. The poor woman was so enslaved by the bottle that she had lost nearly everyone who loved her. My sister h...

david62 · david62

Had a few people asking me to repost this story so here ya go! I had been coming to Al-anon meetings six months at the time my wife and I separated and she filed for a divorce. It was the lowest point of my life. My wife had been going to AA for over a year, and though I had hoped that we would be able to heal togeth...

Nalina · Nalina

I can't believe I didn't go sooner. It seems that sometimes WE have to hit OUR personal bottom to seek out real-live help just like the A does? There was plenty of opportunity for me to go before I left, but the meeting I was interested in was Saturday mornings..and I wanted to sleep in on Saturday morning...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My addiction was control! (Preview) I took it upon myself to try and take control of everything, I don't think I had many days when I wouldn't think if you hadn't done that, or this hadn't of happened I would of had a good day, after a while it went outside the home everyone was getting at me, I was at war with the world, I was wondering how I could...	Katy	5	807	Jul 15, 2010 by Rocky38
	Ranting in Counselling (Preview) The last few days have been bad. I have tried to detach. Tried not to get wrapped up in his world. I think I do pretty good considering. My dad used to drink a lot but I don't remember him being at all like my AH. We were in couples counselling together this morning. Basically he rants. He is convinced that ev...	Northof60	8	784	Jul 15, 2010 by Northof60
	husband sober but still lies (Preview) my husband has been sober about 100 days. that's the good news. bad news, he hasn't broken the lying habit. case in point: after he returned from rehab we were in the car, I opened the glove box to look for something and found a bottle of herbs for male enhancement. not like Viagra, but something you take d...	oscarmom	5	1618	Jul 15, 2010 by xeno59
	enabler to my son (Preview) I'm feelin nervous . MY son says he call recovery house today. They say there is still a big list for him not to worry- sure they won't worry. Say they will send letter when opening comes. I wonder if he even called? or am I getting paranoid??	okwitt	11	1081	Jul 15, 2010 by Greenvalleygal
	help (Preview) I am so busy I can not get to a meeting. I took vacation, went to visit family after 3 years out of state. So far behind at eh office I can not breathe. Here is the deal, I am struggling with a phone call I got from my brother who lives in a mission. The mission burnt down and he called to tell me he was okay. Of cour...	rrayrray	3	670	Jul 15, 2010 by Mobirdie
	Jerry, Thank You! (Preview) You had written in a recent post to someone on this board to "step back a bit and put just enough distance between you & your alcoholic so that HP can take up that space . . ." I hope this reasonated with whom you addressed it to, as well as others on this board. It surely did with me. I read...	GailMichelle	4	588	Jul 15, 2010 by GailMichelle
	why do i get this feeling (Preview) Why do I get this feeling that you guys think i'm from outer space? When I post I'm not getting any replies. Just cause my alcoholic is adult son doesn't mean I am not hurting and trying to learn. I'm hurting, and yes I've looked up brochures and trying to start on steps. I'm not getting to far in the meetin...	okwitt	11	753	Jul 14, 2010 by okwitt
	Double winner 2 year anniversary of sobriety. (Preview) Today is my 2 year anniversary of stopping drinking. To stop was like taking the bus to work., the job doesnt start till you get there. What would keep me stopped and avoid me being a dry drunk or changing addictions was my question. Today I needed to better visualize why I have no interest in drinking at a...	All I can be	12	1182	Jul 14, 2010 by wp
	Need Advice - Enabling (Preview) My wife and I have been in a really bad cycle for a few months now. For about a year, she would drink 1 bottle of red wine every 2-3 days. This isn't a trend I liked, but it could have been worse. It's progressively gotten worse to where she now has a bottle of wine and then asks me to get more for her. Before...	Garrett	14	1027	Jul 14, 2010 by mon123
	Feel like I abandon Him (Preview) It was the 23rd day since I walked away from him. Got a call from him today and he sounded like very sad and all he wanted was to talk.But I can't talk to him because every time when I talk to him since we broke up, I just feel more upset and miserable. So what I did was to tell him that I can't talk to him as I will ge...	Adabnu	7	842	Jul 14, 2010 by Greenvalleygal
	Newbie with 29 year old alcoholic son living next door (Preview) My son has been in Rehab twice and each time he remains sober and clean for a couple of months but slides right back into his old habits. He is unable to keep a job but is currently working. He had two days off and has drank nonstop. When he drinks he tries to provoke an argument with anyone and everyone. ...	Greenvalleygal	10	928	Jul 14, 2010 by Greenvalleygal
	God's will, not mine. (Preview) I had an interesting thought occur to me yesterday evening when I was driving home from work. I'd recently gone through an experience at my new place where I came across a stray cat that turned out to be really friendly. I'd been thinking that at some point in time, I'd like to get a pet (I was thinking a par...	Aloha	4	913	Jul 14, 2010 by Northof60
	I can't do the program on my own. I need like minded people... (Preview) Hi Its been a while since last time I wrote anything here. I have described earlier how I entered Al-Anon in a desperate attempt at first to save a relationship with my ex-girlfriend who is an alcoholic in recovery. My reasons for staying in Al-Anon turned out to be very different as I started to realiz...	Cosmos	6	570	Jul 14, 2010 by Cosmos
	AH signed settlement (Preview) I haven't been around here for a while, but I thought I would give an update. I was married to my AH for 10.5 years, all of which he struggled with his disease. Once he sought help I hoped and prayed for his sobriety, only to be disappointed over and over. I finally asked him to leave in December '08. He has be...	babysteps	1	567	Jul 14, 2010 by lyndebi
	I am in love with an alcoholic (Preview) i have been sober for 3+ years. i fell in love with a man in the program who had about a year and a half on me. the man i fell in love with (sober and giving back) was not the man he became. he stopped going to meetings, became incredibly resentful at everyone and everything and turned into a dry drunk. n...	iloveanalcoholic	5	924	Jul 14, 2010 by Mattie
	Newbie, introducing myself (Preview) Hello Everyone, I am new to the boards. My A is my mother. She is currently in her second round of detox. Last time, I thought she would be one of the lucky ones who beat this disease after only one try. We staged an intervention, and she agreed to detox and an inpatient rehab. Before she even finished...	MommysGirl	7	535	Jul 14, 2010 by MommysGirl
	New to the group (Preview) Good evening I have a 17 yr old girl who has been caught with alcohol, smoking ,and has confessed to smoking marijuana several times time. She claims this is normal and thats what all kids do. After coming down on her she will after time give the same story Ive learned my lesson until the next time we have...	cpigg	7	680	Jul 14, 2010 by xeno59
	Policewife, of Alcholic (Preview) OMG dont know where to start. Long history with a's. First husband alcholic, father of my 17 yr old son (going into US marines next summer ughh already enlisted in dep)...My first hubsand and I were divorced 1 year or so after marriage. My son a baby. My a was in and out of our lives for next 5 years, rehab, j...	bev1965	4	1007	Jul 14, 2010 by petpal
	I ignored his late night text (Preview) I did not hear from my exah/bf all day yesterday. He did not go to school. I know this b/c mid-morning my son told me he was still at the house. You see, we do not live together. He lives w/his grandma. We were supposed to spend all day Sunday together as a family and he was a no show. I texted him several...	QOD	4	1155	Jul 14, 2010 by QOD
	Trying not to react (Preview) I am having a hard time not reacting my As negativity even though he is out of town and far away from me right now. He is working out of state and keeps wanting to come home early even though he agreed with his employer about the time required. He is waiting for me to give him approval to leave early which I h...	rxygrl	4	722	Jul 14, 2010 by rxygrl
	Acknowledging that I manipulate too! (Preview) Yep I do that, I come out with sweeping statements and at the time of saying my stuff I really do say what I mean and I say it mean sometimes, I guess whilst I still live with my husband, habits of a life time, are very hard to break and since straight forward communication is not something that has happened h...	Katy	9	998	Jul 14, 2010 by Katy
	Members service outside the groups (Preview) Aloha Family...this is an encouragement post cause I looked at who I am contacting and how in my town and country and found that I was missing contacting the fellowship. If you have time in the program and are walking it...done the requirements and suggestions and had deep personal success let me enc...	Jerry F	0	445	Jul 14, 2010 by Jerry F
	checking in (Preview) Hi, I'm Carol, alanon. I'm a mess now. I am h aving dental work done; the anesthetic is wearing off now and I hope the pain won't be too bad. It's a very difficult root canal---have to go back to endodontist in 2 weeks---he says it's a "tough tooth", wants to give it his "undivided attenti...	Carol_Lynn	1	329	Jul 13, 2010 by Rocky38
	What to do when trust is lost (Preview) I just don't know what to do. Last night I found a stash of empty gin bottles that my fiancé was trying to sneak out of the house (god love him, he's so forgetful, forgot to take them with him when he left and left them lying on the floor by the door.) I've always known that he drank, more than I wanted him to, b...	ireland429	9	1382	Jul 13, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	detachment, trusting HP, feeling alone (Preview) I went to the online meeting tonight (6pm PDT) and it was good topics. Feeling alone and trusting HP and detaching---all topics I could really relate to. I have doubted HP lately. So much pain and grief right now. Dental work, expenses, issues with my roommate/best friend, marital issues, physical...	Carol_Lynn	3	801	Jul 13, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Hope is here.... (Preview) First off, I am new here.... I have been with my ABF for 4 years now, although we have been seperated now for almost 9 months. I left him in October, taking our 1 year old daughter with me, who is now almost 2. He started drinking around age 14, alcoholic by 16 and drank daily, on and off drug use for 16 years....	Ri	7	799	Jul 13, 2010 by Ri
	The lesson of minding my own business (Preview) My AH went to work at 6:30 am. and is not home yet, he called and said he had to work late today. It is now 10:30 p.m. I've been sitting here fretting and worrying about if he is still at work or if he "fell off the wagon." I have completed every task I could think of while "waiting" for...	Sweet Stanley	6	1155	Jul 13, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	Am I the Bad Guy? (Preview) Hi again. Posted a couple months ago. ABF had gone to detox. I was hopeful. Well, he's now convinced himself he doesn't have a problem. If I bring up his drinking, he gets nasty and defensive. He's not living with me, but he lives in my building with a friend, so he's always around. Luckily, he has to move o...	jettiesgirl	9	796	Jul 13, 2010 by sirpher
	Rehab Limbo (Preview) Hi, I'm new to the group. I'm not sure if this is what you're supposed to write, but my older brother is an alcoholic and drug user. He has struggled for 14 years now, so I have 14 years of heartbreaking stories and frustrations, but right now I'd really like to talk about his current situation. He's...	sadsib	5	783	Jul 13, 2010 by Bettina
	It's been a while but I NEED to VENT! (Preview) I have been back together w/my ex husband for almost 2 years now. We were married for 15 years. Separated for 1 year and divorced for almost a year before we got back together. We do not live together...just dating. So he suffers from depression and is not being treated for it. He is in school right no...	QOD	4	810	Jul 13, 2010 by QOD
	He NEEDS me! (Preview) I am missing my ABF and my apartment very, very much. My thoughts are becoming more clear and the depression from the past 2 weeks of chaos is finally lifting a little, but I am considering going back. No decisions are going to be made on my part right away, but I do (kind of) want to go back. (Even though now...	Nalina	11	1085	Jul 13, 2010 by Nalina
	feeling crazy and seeing my part... (Preview) Friends, I come here every day for my daily dose of al-anon. I don't post much anymore, mostly due to time, but I am off today, all is quiet except what is spinning around in my head. Amazing, how I always hear/read what I need. I just read about "ask an A what time it is and he will tell you how to buil...	Loupiness	5	1113	Jul 13, 2010 by maresie
	Confusion over alcoholic's self talk - explain please (Preview) I've heared it said many times that we can say nothing to the A to beat them up more than they have already said to themselves. I don't understand this because my AH has an ego the size of Charleston, WV and demonstrates nothing to suggest that he believes anything he's doing is a problem. If he is in tota...	imwithstupid	11	884	Jul 13, 2010 by maresie
	Hope sprngs eternal - one day at a time (Preview) I see that along with detachment, I have a huge issue with control and I am sure it could be classified as trying to "control," but yesterday before I went to my morning al-anon meeting, I just had to try and talk to my AH while he was sober because I'm sure he never examines what he's doing othe...	imwithstupid	14	853	Jul 13, 2010 by maresie
	It hurts so much (Preview) Dear all, It has been a tough weekend. My EXAH called me so many times last night, i eventually turned off the phone. I did not even try to listen to the messages last night because I wanted to have a peaceful night. This morning, I started listening to his messages, most of them were related to the fact he w...	Adabnu	5	845	Jul 13, 2010 by maresie
	Found out AH has kidney issues (Preview) So AH had a heat stroke yesterday and had to be taken to the ER. While there they did blood tests and found out that it seems like he has "renal insuffency". They highly recommended that he see a doctor immediately. So he says he wants to go next week, let's see. I guess it was a blessing that...	need lots of help	5	708	Jul 13, 2010 by maresie
	New here - Introduction (Preview) I have been married to my AH for 14 years. He was a heavy drinker when I met him but so was I back then. We had fun and that was all that mattered. Nothing seemed out of control. I always had issues with his communication skills - or lack of them. He would appear paranoid about somebody and then obsess for week...	Northof60	5	766	Jul 13, 2010 by Northof60
	for once my AH is NOT the problem! (Preview) Well, it's been a chaotic time for the past couple of weeks but for once, it's NOT due to my AH! He is in his 3rd week of not drinking, going to meetings every night, and just generally being the wonderful person that he is when he is sober. It's a good thing, because with everything else I've been going thro...	never going back	11	764	Jul 13, 2010 by hopeforme
	My Confession (Preview) A person dear to me introduced me to this website recently. What a blessing! In the short time I have been lurking I have learned so much. I can relate to some stories. I cried for the first time. It felt good, so I cried some more. The hardest part for me is the first step. "We admitted we were pow...	Sansui1210	5	785	Jul 13, 2010 by xeno59
	A Special "THANK YOU" (Preview) From me to many of you, (those who wrote and those who simply read, and most important those who prayed) To each and every person who responded to my post about the young man who died last week and was buried this weekend, my heart embraced every word you shared with me. Intellecutally, I already knew wh...	John	7	1149	Jul 13, 2010 by xeno59
	I need to apologize... (Preview) I need to apologize for yesterday to my husband of almost 11 years! Yesterday I was awful & kept calling him a MORON for pretty much nothing; although I have to admit he was acting kinda stupid! I really just called him a moron under my breath; basically to myself. What's up with that? I didn't even ac...	Hoot Nanny	3	1233	Jul 13, 2010 by xeno59
	ADULT DAUGHTER AND 3 ADULT GRANDCHILDREN BANKRUPTING US (Preview) My daughter is a drug addict, 40 yrs old. Her 3 sons, ages 18, 19, and 20 are pot addicts. Five years ago, our daughter started drugs, lost her good job, lost her home, her vehicle. Her 3 sons got hooked on pot to deal with living with her actions. For about a year, she went to a housing project with her b...	goincrazyinky	9	952	Jul 13, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	I am being manipulated by my 15-year-old daughter... daughter teenager pot lies manipulative (Preview) She has never been a very stable human being, but now, after almost a year of sneaking around trying to see this boy (who spends his free time in juvenile hall), she has still not stopped lying to me. She's always been silly, vulnerable, gullible and deceptive, manipulative to get what she wants. I am ca...	punkydoodah	6	7042	Jul 12, 2010 by punkydoodah
	Looking for support (Preview) So my AH does not care that he is a Type 1 diabetic and continues to drink and thinks that he can hide it! He is so mean when he drinks. I love him to death when he has not had a drop. Because of financial reasons, I cannot leave. We have a 7 year old son that means the world to us. But my AH forgets how much o...	helpme08	7	594	Jul 12, 2010 by Northof60
	The Discommodation (Preview) On the day of my divorce court hearing, I decided to go alone. I had a few offers of support, but something told me I needed to go do this alone. My marriage had been one without much of a social life and I thought that in it's finality, I should be reminded of that fact. When I got there, wife was there with...	barisax	4	923	Jul 12, 2010 by barisax
	just venting..... (Preview) My husband will not move out because according to him "he has no place to go". I feel the kids and I should NOT be the ones leaving especially since it's stress on the kids. Him living in this house is already stressful enough. It's dumb that I have to put up with his behavior instead of my lit...	RoseODAT	7	770	Jul 12, 2010 by lyndebi
	Problems cannot be solved by the same level of thinking that created them! (Preview) But how then can we do that, well for me it happened when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired, first of all you need a huge dose of acceptence of what is and not what you would like it to be, my a will not hug me or see my pain, he doesn't with anyone he is very closed, I did take it personally untill I lear...	Katy	5	3573	Jul 12, 2010 by pineapple
	1968 (Preview) How many of you remember that year? Wow. It's probably the most significant year in my entire life and boy do I remember it. Everything in my childhood can be divided into pre and post-1968. How I perceive things changed forever. I thought I was growing up, and maybe in some ways I was, but I was also...	barisax	6	1080	Jul 11, 2010 by ythannah
	Business meeting for July 11 2010 has been canceled (Preview) Next meeting will be first Sunday of the Month in August. If you have anything that you would like added to the agenda please let me know thank you. Kerry aka kerisha	kerry5	0	303	Jul 11, 2010 by kerry5
	My 17 year old son (Preview) So much to say...don't know where to start. I'll just say that I'm not even sure my son is an alcoholic, but if he isn't, he might be on his way. I don't know if he's just doing the "teenage" thing...or if he's really addicted to alcohol. Lets just put it this way. He is very open about "l...	Christie92	14	890	Jul 11, 2010 by Christie92
	Going To Be Away For A Few Days...... (Preview) I will miss coming here and being with those that understand the pain of addiction in the people we love. I need to be with my husband and my youngest son (age 17 with Autism). I have put boundries up with my AS (age 30) that I have never done before, he may have to live on the streets before he hits his bottom...	DreamsOver	3	416	Jul 11, 2010 by Karilynn
	addiction (Preview) A few days ago my bf told me working on cars is like an addiction but so much better than drinking. Isn't that cool? He hasn't drank in years and finally found something he really loves to do. buick	buick23	3	471	Jul 11, 2010 by xeno59
	Made an amends (Preview) I finished my 4th step inventory awhile back. I didn't quite know how to make an amends. The two people whom I have terrible relationships with are my mother and my AHsober (who left). How could I make an amends when I blame them for all my troubles. I have been staying with my mother short term while I work...	nmike	5	764	Jul 11, 2010 by xeno59
	Everything is going slow (Preview) If anyone remembers me...no I can't go f2f meetings..it would be 150 mile round trip. Adult son who is my a is still waiting for a bed. By the way.. he is going to a recovery house for 30 days. They use the 12 steps. But they also use R.o.p.e.s program. Does anyone know about the ropes? My A son is still livi...	okwitt	3	450	Jul 11, 2010 by Jennifer
	Shaking the dust off my slogans (Preview) My xah has let me know he is in an intensive treatment facility, a requirement of his prison sentence or an early release program I imagine. I feel ashamed after reading his letter notifying me of a change of address that I felt no hope, my only real thought was ... ahhh gonna spend another 6 months or so p...	Jennifer	3	850	Jul 11, 2010 by canadianguy
	I am going to go stark, raving mad before this is over with . . . Long (Preview) I am new here and have read several other posts and of course the similarities to my situation haven't gone unnoticed. I am sick thinking of the over 20 years I have wasted with my compulsive gambling/alcoholic third husband. Since I am an addict magnet, the other two weren't much better. I thou...	imwithstupid	14	1144	Jul 10, 2010 by buick23
	Taking that leap of faith! (Preview) Pheeeeeeeweeeeeee, just back from second interview of the week, two jobs plucked out of thin air and two jobs on offer to me,wow what a turn around, it's very hard to try and do something differently, and you wonder how can I? In the situations here we find ourselves in we think and project the outcome wi...	Katy	5	791	Jul 10, 2010 by punkydoodah
	Feeling that it was my fault... (Preview) Hello everyone, I posted a few day's ago about the death of my mother. She was found dead in her house last Wednesday & was estimated by the medical examiner to have been dead for at least a week. The poor woman was so enslaved by the bottle that she had lost nearly everyone who loved her. My sister h...	minawillie	9	1121	Jul 10, 2010 by minawillie
	Back by popular demand...."The Screw" (Preview) Had a few people asking me to repost this story so here ya go! I had been coming to Al-anon meetings six months at the time my wife and I separated and she filed for a divorce. It was the lowest point of my life. My wife had been going to AA for over a year, and though I had hoped that we would be able to heal togeth...	david62	13	1026	Jul 10, 2010 by Rocky38
	My First F2F Meeting (Preview) I can't believe I didn't go sooner. It seems that sometimes WE have to hit OUR personal bottom to seek out real-live help just like the A does? There was plenty of opportunity for me to go before I left, but the meeting I was interested in was Saturday mornings..and I wanted to sleep in on Saturday morning...	Nalina	5	611	Jul 10, 2010 by Rocky38
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