Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

miss_carol · miss_carol

I have currently made a decision to stay right where I am at. I am using some of my tools I have learned from alanon and other literature I have read. I still have to continue dealing with that anger that comes out when I start thinking he is just using/drinking to get me. It has nothing to do with me. Althoug...

oscarmom · oscarmom

background- my husband was forced to rehab by his boss. drinking was so bad he was passing out at work and drinking in the car.of course he lied about all of this. when i asked him before he went to rehab I got these answers: How much were you drinking in the car? answer was 12 ounces. who answers like that...

miss_carol · miss_carol

I am checking in and trying to settle my brain to a contented quiet. I can't tell if I am shut down. I cried for months and now I am just telling myself it's ok and I don't have to decide right now.I feel sort of numb and dazed.(nothing new there lol) Except for the fact that I get so angry when I see my a/h acting...

littlemamasheart · littlemamasheart

Hi my name is Mary D.I go to the just 4 today group in my home town of Newberry Mi Friday nights 7 pm.I am alternating weekends here is Sault Ste marie Mi.So I dont get to meetings like I should.My other half has been in the AA program 29 years July 7.We have been together 15 years July 1.I am telling you this be...

Nalina · Nalina

My ABF who I have left behind, 600 miles away, may possibly be showing signs that he is close to his bottom and in a round-about way, asking for help. He says,"Things are getting worse for me up without you and I don't see them getting better, I only see things getting worse. I am getting worse witho...

Katy · Katy

Humour lol instead of anger, I am starting to swap it, it is not my job to sort out the insanity of another, I can turn that frown upside down , and think to myself you are so funny, I am glad I am not you and very glad I am me katyx

DreamXL · DreamXL

Ok its friday am and I cant get into the meeting room and man I am going wild here. I know I need these meetings but since I cant get in the room I am reminded of how much I need these meetings and how critical they are to starting my day with the right frame of mind...god im trying every which way to get in and ca...

Katy · Katy

I have been thinking lol OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, yes sorry, and I thought of all the people in this world who have I hurt most? And I think it is myself, this thing we live with is so cunning it makes us think we are telepathic, and majicians, we take it upon ourselves to try and do for others what they should be d...

pineapple · pineapple

I was looking forward to the meeting this morning but for some reason can't get into the room. I've been going there for 6 months but this morning got a message about "security concerns". I tried to copy the whole message to post here but was unable to. Can someone help me with this or point me i...

clementine · clementine

Hey has anyone had experience with the vivatrol "pellet"? My boyfriend got it today and is sick--like withdrawl he says. Any idea how long this lasts? Could it be from residual "stuff" in his system still? Anyone know if these withdrawl symptoms will go away once his body ha...

buick23 · buick23

I am heartbroken today. The only thing that keeps me going I think are the slogans I keep telling myself. Keeping my side of the street clean, I'm not given more to deal with than I can handle, even though this is hard, and that hp has some kind of plan. My furry friend is keeping me company though. He lets me...

renee26 · renee26

Hi everyone- I just found this forum as I was looking for what ever help I could find. Iv been reading and its so nice to know there are others out there that are feeling the same as I am. I have been with my AH off and on for 19 yrs. I left him and took our kids for 4 of it, at that point he stopped drinking, started...

Katy · Katy

yourself!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ie78VtBtwBI

Katy · Katy

Put off until tomorrow what you can do today, why? because tomorrow might be really busy and will heap more pressure on you, and tomorrow never comes x KKKKKKKKKKKaty x

bluerose79 · bluerose79

Giving up control and not taking it personally are for me the hardest things i'm struggling with in my relationship with my sober ABF. He does not express many emotions about how he feels about me, except when i have tried to leave. So i stay, thinking this time things will be better ( I know) and usually...

Katy · Katy

I took it upon myself to try and take control of everything, I don't think I had many days when I wouldn't think if you hadn't done that, or this hadn't of happened I would of had a good day, after a while it went outside the home everyone was getting at me, I was at war with the world, I was wondering how I could...

Northof60 · Northof60

The last few days have been bad. I have tried to detach. Tried not to get wrapped up in his world. I think I do pretty good considering. My dad used to drink a lot but I don't remember him being at all like my AH. We were in couples counselling together this morning. Basically he rants. He is convinced that ev...

oscarmom · oscarmom

my husband has been sober about 100 days. that's the good news. bad news, he hasn't broken the lying habit. case in point: after he returned from rehab we were in the car, I opened the glove box to look for something and found a bottle of herbs for male enhancement. not like Viagra, but something you take d...

okwitt · okwitt

I'm feelin nervous . MY son says he call recovery house today. They say there is still a big list for him not to worry- sure they won't worry. Say they will send letter when opening comes. I wonder if he even called? or am I getting paranoid??

rrayrray · rrayrray

I am so busy I can not get to a meeting. I took vacation, went to visit family after 3 years out of state. So far behind at eh office I can not breathe. Here is the deal, I am struggling with a phone call I got from my brother who lives in a mission. The mission burnt down and he called to tell me he was okay. Of cour...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

You had written in a recent post to someone on this board to "step back a bit and put just enough distance between you & your alcoholic so that HP can take up that space . . ." I hope this reasonated with whom you addressed it to, as well as others on this board. It surely did with me. I read...

okwitt · okwitt

Why do I get this feeling that you guys think i'm from outer space? When I post I'm not getting any replies. Just cause my alcoholic is adult son doesn't mean I am not hurting and trying to learn. I'm hurting, and yes I've looked up brochures and trying to start on steps. I'm not getting to far in the meetin...

All I can be · All I can be

Today is my 2 year anniversary of stopping drinking. To stop was like taking the bus to work., the job doesnt start till you get there. What would keep me stopped and avoid me being a dry drunk or changing addictions was my question. Today I needed to better visualize why I have no interest in drinking at a...

Garrett · Garrett

My wife and I have been in a really bad cycle for a few months now. For about a year, she would drink 1 bottle of red wine every 2-3 days. This isn't a trend I liked, but it could have been worse. It's progressively gotten worse to where she now has a bottle of wine and then asks me to get more for her. Before...

Adabnu · Adabnu

It was the 23rd day since I walked away from him. Got a call from him today and he sounded like very sad and all he wanted was to talk.But I can't talk to him because every time when I talk to him since we broke up, I just feel more upset and miserable. So what I did was to tell him that I can't talk to him as I will ge...

Greenvalleygal · Greenvalleygal

My son has been in Rehab twice and each time he remains sober and clean for a couple of months but slides right back into his old habits. He is unable to keep a job but is currently working. He had two days off and has drank nonstop. When he drinks he tries to provoke an argument with anyone and everyone. ...

Aloha · Aloha

I had an interesting thought occur to me yesterday evening when I was driving home from work. I'd recently gone through an experience at my new place where I came across a stray cat that turned out to be really friendly. I'd been thinking that at some point in time, I'd like to get a pet (I was thinking a par...

Cosmos · Cosmos

Hi Its been a while since last time I wrote anything here. I have described earlier how I entered Al-Anon in a desperate attempt at first to save a relationship with my ex-girlfriend who is an alcoholic in recovery. My reasons for staying in Al-Anon turned out to be very different as I started to realiz...

babysteps · babysteps

I haven't been around here for a while, but I thought I would give an update. I was married to my AH for 10.5 years, all of which he struggled with his disease. Once he sought help I hoped and prayed for his sobriety, only to be disappointed over and over. I finally asked him to leave in December '08. He has be...

iloveanalcoholic · iloveanalcoholic

i have been sober for 3+ years. i fell in love with a man in the program who had about a year and a half on me. the man i fell in love with (sober and giving back) was not the man he became. he stopped going to meetings, became incredibly resentful at everyone and everything and turned into a dry drunk. n...

MommysGirl · MommysGirl

Hello Everyone, I am new to the boards. My A is my mother. She is currently in her second round of detox. Last time, I thought she would be one of the lucky ones who beat this disease after only one try. We staged an intervention, and she agreed to detox and an inpatient rehab. Before she even finished...

cpigg · cpigg

Good evening I have a 17 yr old girl who has been caught with alcohol, smoking ,and has confessed to smoking marijuana several times time. She claims this is normal and thats what all kids do. After coming down on her she will after time give the same story Ive learned my lesson until the next time we have...

bev1965 · bev1965

OMG dont know where to start. Long history with a's. First husband alcholic, father of my 17 yr old son (going into US marines next summer ughh already enlisted in dep)...My first hubsand and I were divorced 1 year or so after marriage. My son a baby. My a was in and out of our lives for next 5 years, rehab, j...

QOD · QOD

I did not hear from my exah/bf all day yesterday. He did not go to school. I know this b/c mid-morning my son told me he was still at the house. You see, we do not live together. He lives w/his grandma. We were supposed to spend all day Sunday together as a family and he was a no show. I texted him several...

rxygrl · rxygrl

I am having a hard time not reacting my As negativity even though he is out of town and far away from me right now. He is working out of state and keeps wanting to come home early even though he agreed with his employer about the time required. He is waiting for me to give him approval to leave early which I h...

Katy · Katy

Yep I do that, I come out with sweeping statements and at the time of saying my stuff I really do say what I mean and I say it mean sometimes, I guess whilst I still live with my husband, habits of a life time, are very hard to break and since straight forward communication is not something that has happened h...

Members service outside the groups · Jerry F

Aloha Family...this is an encouragement post cause I looked at who I am contacting and how in my town and country and found that I was missing contacting the fellowship. If you have time in the program and are walking it...done the requirements and suggestions and had deep personal success let me enc...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

Hi, I'm Carol, alanon. I'm a mess now. I am h aving dental work done; the anesthetic is wearing off now and I hope the pain won't be too bad. It's a very difficult root canal---have to go back to endodontist in 2 weeks---he says it's a "tough tooth", wants to give it his "undivided attenti...

ireland429 · ireland429

I just don't know what to do. Last night I found a stash of empty gin bottles that my fiancé was trying to sneak out of the house (god love him, he's so forgetful, forgot to take them with him when he left and left them lying on the floor by the door.) I've always known that he drank, more than I wanted him to, b...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

I went to the online meeting tonight (6pm PDT) and it was good topics. Feeling alone and trusting HP and detaching---all topics I could really relate to. I have doubted HP lately. So much pain and grief right now. Dental work, expenses, issues with my roommate/best friend, marital issues, physical...

Ri · Ri

First off, I am new here.... I have been with my ABF for 4 years now, although we have been seperated now for almost 9 months. I left him in October, taking our 1 year old daughter with me, who is now almost 2. He started drinking around age 14, alcoholic by 16 and drank daily, on and off drug use for 16 years....

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

My AH went to work at 6:30 am. and is not home yet, he called and said he had to work late today. It is now 10:30 p.m. I've been sitting here fretting and worrying about if he is still at work or if he "fell off the wagon." I have completed every task I could think of while "waiting" for...

jettiesgirl · jettiesgirl

Hi again. Posted a couple months ago. ABF had gone to detox. I was hopeful. Well, he's now convinced himself he doesn't have a problem. If I bring up his drinking, he gets nasty and defensive. He's not living with me, but he lives in my building with a friend, so he's always around. Luckily, he has to move o...

sadsib · sadsib

Hi, I'm new to the group. I'm not sure if this is what you're supposed to write, but my older brother is an alcoholic and drug user. He has struggled for 14 years now, so I have 14 years of heartbreaking stories and frustrations, but right now I'd really like to talk about his current situation. He's...

QOD · QOD

I have been back together w/my ex husband for almost 2 years now. We were married for 15 years. Separated for 1 year and divorced for almost a year before we got back together. We do not live together...just dating. So he suffers from depression and is not being treated for it. He is in school right no...

Nalina · Nalina

I am missing my ABF and my apartment very, very much. My thoughts are becoming more clear and the depression from the past 2 weeks of chaos is finally lifting a little, but I am considering going back. No decisions are going to be made on my part right away, but I do (kind of) want to go back. (Even though now...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Friends, I come here every day for my daily dose of al-anon. I don't post much anymore, mostly due to time, but I am off today, all is quiet except what is spinning around in my head. Amazing, how I always hear/read what I need. I just read about "ask an A what time it is and he will tell you how to buil...

imwithstupid · imwithstupid

I've heared it said many times that we can say nothing to the A to beat them up more than they have already said to themselves. I don't understand this because my AH has an ego the size of Charleston, WV and demonstrates nothing to suggest that he believes anything he's doing is a problem. If he is in tota...

imwithstupid · imwithstupid

I see that along with detachment, I have a huge issue with control and I am sure it could be classified as trying to "control," but yesterday before I went to my morning al-anon meeting, I just had to try and talk to my AH while he was sober because I'm sure he never examines what he's doing othe...

Adabnu · Adabnu

Dear all, It has been a tough weekend. My EXAH called me so many times last night, i eventually turned off the phone. I did not even try to listen to the messages last night because I wanted to have a peaceful night. This morning, I started listening to his messages, most of them were related to the fact he w...

need lots of help · need lots of help

So AH had a heat stroke yesterday and had to be taken to the ER. While there they did blood tests and found out that it seems like he has "renal insuffency". They highly recommended that he see a doctor immediately. So he says he wants to go next week, let's see. I guess it was a blessing that...

Northof60 · Northof60

I have been married to my AH for 14 years. He was a heavy drinker when I met him but so was I back then. We had fun and that was all that mattered. Nothing seemed out of control. I always had issues with his communication skills - or lack of them. He would appear paranoid about somebody and then obsess for week...

never going back · never going back

Well, it's been a chaotic time for the past couple of weeks but for once, it's NOT due to my AH! He is in his 3rd week of not drinking, going to meetings every night, and just generally being the wonderful person that he is when he is sober. It's a good thing, because with everything else I've been going thro...

Sansui1210 · Sansui1210

A person dear to me introduced me to this website recently. What a blessing! In the short time I have been lurking I have learned so much. I can relate to some stories. I cried for the first time. It felt good, so I cried some more. The hardest part for me is the first step. "We admitted we were pow...

John · John

From me to many of you, (those who wrote and those who simply read, and most important those who prayed) To each and every person who responded to my post about the young man who died last week and was buried this weekend, my heart embraced every word you shared with me. Intellecutally, I already knew wh...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I need to apologize for yesterday to my husband of almost 11 years! Yesterday I was awful & kept calling him a MORON for pretty much nothing; although I have to admit he was acting kinda stupid! I really just called him a moron under my breath; basically to myself. What's up with that? I didn't even ac...

goincrazyinky · goincrazyinky

My daughter is a drug addict, 40 yrs old. Her 3 sons, ages 18, 19, and 20 are pot addicts. Five years ago, our daughter started drugs, lost her good job, lost her home, her vehicle. Her 3 sons got hooked on pot to deal with living with her actions. For about a year, she went to a housing project with her b...

punkydoodah · punkydoodah

She has never been a very stable human being, but now, after almost a year of sneaking around trying to see this boy (who spends his free time in juvenile hall), she has still not stopped lying to me. She's always been silly, vulnerable, gullible and deceptive, manipulative to get what she wants. I am ca...

helpme08 · helpme08

So my AH does not care that he is a Type 1 diabetic and continues to drink and thinks that he can hide it! He is so mean when he drinks. I love him to death when he has not had a drop. Because of financial reasons, I cannot leave. We have a 7 year old son that means the world to us. But my AH forgets how much o...

barisax · barisax

On the day of my divorce court hearing, I decided to go alone. I had a few offers of support, but something told me I needed to go do this alone. My marriage had been one without much of a social life and I thought that in it's finality, I should be reminded of that fact. When I got there, wife was there with...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Finally breathing easier ( at least for today) (Preview) I have currently made a decision to stay right where I am at. I am using some of my tools I have learned from alanon and other literature I have read. I still have to continue dealing with that anger that comes out when I start thinking he is just using/drinking to get me. It has nothing to do with me. Althoug...	miss_carol	2	750	Jul 18, 2010 by Karilynn
	we could all use some humor (Preview) background- my husband was forced to rehab by his boss. drinking was so bad he was passing out at work and drinking in the car.of course he lied about all of this. when i asked him before he went to rehab I got these answers: How much were you drinking in the car? answer was 12 ounces. who answers like that...	oscarmom	4	1176	Jul 18, 2010 by Bettina
	Not believing my excuses for staying, it's probably really fear. (Preview) I am checking in and trying to settle my brain to a contented quiet. I can't tell if I am shut down. I cried for months and now I am just telling myself it's ok and I don't have to decide right now.I feel sort of numb and dazed.(nothing new there lol) Except for the fact that I get so angry when I see my a/h acting...	miss_carol	4	731	Jul 17, 2010 by brb446
	New to on line al-anon but not to al-anon itself. (Preview) Hi my name is Mary D.I go to the just 4 today group in my home town of Newberry Mi Friday nights 7 pm.I am alternating weekends here is Sault Ste marie Mi.So I dont get to meetings like I should.My other half has been in the AA program 29 years July 7.We have been together 15 years July 1.I am telling you this be...	littlemamasheart	4	761	Jul 17, 2010 by david62
	Possible cry for help (Preview) My ABF who I have left behind, 600 miles away, may possibly be showing signs that he is close to his bottom and in a round-about way, asking for help. He says,"Things are getting worse for me up without you and I don't see them getting better, I only see things getting worse. I am getting worse witho...	Nalina	7	928	Jul 17, 2010 by canadianguy
	Saturday awareness! (Preview) Humour lol instead of anger, I am starting to swap it, it is not my job to sort out the insanity of another, I can turn that frown upside down , and think to myself you are so funny, I am glad I am not you and very glad I am me katyx	Katy	2	761	Jul 17, 2010 by hotrod
	Oh my God !!! (Preview) Ok its friday am and I cant get into the meeting room and man I am going wild here. I know I need these meetings but since I cant get in the room I am reminded of how much I need these meetings and how critical they are to starting my day with the right frame of mind...god im trying every which way to get in and ca...	DreamXL	9	1080	Jul 17, 2010 by DreamXL
	Friday thoughts! (Preview) I have been thinking lol OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, yes sorry, and I thought of all the people in this world who have I hurt most? And I think it is myself, this thing we live with is so cunning it makes us think we are telepathic, and majicians, we take it upon ourselves to try and do for others what they should be d...	Katy	4	771	Jul 17, 2010 by Katy
	can't get into online meetings (Preview) I was looking forward to the meeting this morning but for some reason can't get into the room. I've been going there for 6 months but this morning got a message about "security concerns". I tried to copy the whole message to post here but was unable to. Can someone help me with this or point me i...	pineapple	6	559	Jul 16, 2010 by pineapple
	Vivatrol Pellet (Preview) Hey has anyone had experience with the vivatrol "pellet"? My boyfriend got it today and is sick--like withdrawl he says. Any idea how long this lasts? Could it be from residual "stuff" in his system still? Anyone know if these withdrawl symptoms will go away once his body ha...	clementine	2	1145	Jul 16, 2010 by White Rabbit
	heartbroken (Preview) I am heartbroken today. The only thing that keeps me going I think are the slogans I keep telling myself. Keeping my side of the street clean, I'm not given more to deal with than I can handle, even though this is hard, and that hp has some kind of plan. My furry friend is keeping me company though. He lets me...	buick23	11	1498	Jul 16, 2010 by tlcate
	Lost, frustrated and holding on to whatever is left.. (Preview) Hi everyone- I just found this forum as I was looking for what ever help I could find. Iv been reading and its so nice to know there are others out there that are feeling the same as I am. I have been with my AH off and on for 19 yrs. I left him and took our kids for 4 of it, at that point he stopped drinking, started...	renee26	7	802	Jul 16, 2010 by tlcate
	Song of the day? (Preview) yourself!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ie78VtBtwBI	Katy	2	492	Jul 16, 2010 by Northof60
	Tip of the day! DON'T? (Preview) Put off until tomorrow what you can do today, why? because tomorrow might be really busy and will heap more pressure on you, and tomorrow never comes x KKKKKKKKKKKaty x	Katy	0	537	Jul 16, 2010 by Katy
	Giving up control/Not taking it personally (Preview) Giving up control and not taking it personally are for me the hardest things i'm struggling with in my relationship with my sober ABF. He does not express many emotions about how he feels about me, except when i have tried to leave. So i stay, thinking this time things will be better ( I know) and usually...	bluerose79	3	1173	Jul 16, 2010 by clementine
	My addiction was control! (Preview) I took it upon myself to try and take control of everything, I don't think I had many days when I wouldn't think if you hadn't done that, or this hadn't of happened I would of had a good day, after a while it went outside the home everyone was getting at me, I was at war with the world, I was wondering how I could...	Katy	5	850	Jul 15, 2010 by Rocky38
	Ranting in Counselling (Preview) The last few days have been bad. I have tried to detach. Tried not to get wrapped up in his world. I think I do pretty good considering. My dad used to drink a lot but I don't remember him being at all like my AH. We were in couples counselling together this morning. Basically he rants. He is convinced that ev...	Northof60	8	827	Jul 15, 2010 by Northof60
	husband sober but still lies (Preview) my husband has been sober about 100 days. that's the good news. bad news, he hasn't broken the lying habit. case in point: after he returned from rehab we were in the car, I opened the glove box to look for something and found a bottle of herbs for male enhancement. not like Viagra, but something you take d...	oscarmom	5	1661	Jul 15, 2010 by xeno59
	enabler to my son (Preview) I'm feelin nervous . MY son says he call recovery house today. They say there is still a big list for him not to worry- sure they won't worry. Say they will send letter when opening comes. I wonder if he even called? or am I getting paranoid??	okwitt	11	1119	Jul 15, 2010 by Greenvalleygal
	help (Preview) I am so busy I can not get to a meeting. I took vacation, went to visit family after 3 years out of state. So far behind at eh office I can not breathe. Here is the deal, I am struggling with a phone call I got from my brother who lives in a mission. The mission burnt down and he called to tell me he was okay. Of cour...	rrayrray	3	714	Jul 15, 2010 by Mobirdie
	Jerry, Thank You! (Preview) You had written in a recent post to someone on this board to "step back a bit and put just enough distance between you & your alcoholic so that HP can take up that space . . ." I hope this reasonated with whom you addressed it to, as well as others on this board. It surely did with me. I read...	GailMichelle	4	630	Jul 15, 2010 by GailMichelle
	why do i get this feeling (Preview) Why do I get this feeling that you guys think i'm from outer space? When I post I'm not getting any replies. Just cause my alcoholic is adult son doesn't mean I am not hurting and trying to learn. I'm hurting, and yes I've looked up brochures and trying to start on steps. I'm not getting to far in the meetin...	okwitt	11	793	Jul 14, 2010 by okwitt
	Double winner 2 year anniversary of sobriety. (Preview) Today is my 2 year anniversary of stopping drinking. To stop was like taking the bus to work., the job doesnt start till you get there. What would keep me stopped and avoid me being a dry drunk or changing addictions was my question. Today I needed to better visualize why I have no interest in drinking at a...	All I can be	12	1223	Jul 14, 2010 by wp
	Need Advice - Enabling (Preview) My wife and I have been in a really bad cycle for a few months now. For about a year, she would drink 1 bottle of red wine every 2-3 days. This isn't a trend I liked, but it could have been worse. It's progressively gotten worse to where she now has a bottle of wine and then asks me to get more for her. Before...	Garrett	14	1067	Jul 14, 2010 by mon123
	Feel like I abandon Him (Preview) It was the 23rd day since I walked away from him. Got a call from him today and he sounded like very sad and all he wanted was to talk.But I can't talk to him because every time when I talk to him since we broke up, I just feel more upset and miserable. So what I did was to tell him that I can't talk to him as I will ge...	Adabnu	7	900	Jul 14, 2010 by Greenvalleygal
	Newbie with 29 year old alcoholic son living next door (Preview) My son has been in Rehab twice and each time he remains sober and clean for a couple of months but slides right back into his old habits. He is unable to keep a job but is currently working. He had two days off and has drank nonstop. When he drinks he tries to provoke an argument with anyone and everyone. ...	Greenvalleygal	10	975	Jul 14, 2010 by Greenvalleygal
	God's will, not mine. (Preview) I had an interesting thought occur to me yesterday evening when I was driving home from work. I'd recently gone through an experience at my new place where I came across a stray cat that turned out to be really friendly. I'd been thinking that at some point in time, I'd like to get a pet (I was thinking a par...	Aloha	4	968	Jul 14, 2010 by Northof60
	I can't do the program on my own. I need like minded people... (Preview) Hi Its been a while since last time I wrote anything here. I have described earlier how I entered Al-Anon in a desperate attempt at first to save a relationship with my ex-girlfriend who is an alcoholic in recovery. My reasons for staying in Al-Anon turned out to be very different as I started to realiz...	Cosmos	6	610	Jul 14, 2010 by Cosmos
	AH signed settlement (Preview) I haven't been around here for a while, but I thought I would give an update. I was married to my AH for 10.5 years, all of which he struggled with his disease. Once he sought help I hoped and prayed for his sobriety, only to be disappointed over and over. I finally asked him to leave in December '08. He has be...	babysteps	1	612	Jul 14, 2010 by lyndebi
	I am in love with an alcoholic (Preview) i have been sober for 3+ years. i fell in love with a man in the program who had about a year and a half on me. the man i fell in love with (sober and giving back) was not the man he became. he stopped going to meetings, became incredibly resentful at everyone and everything and turned into a dry drunk. n...	iloveanalcoholic	5	966	Jul 14, 2010 by Mattie
	Newbie, introducing myself (Preview) Hello Everyone, I am new to the boards. My A is my mother. She is currently in her second round of detox. Last time, I thought she would be one of the lucky ones who beat this disease after only one try. We staged an intervention, and she agreed to detox and an inpatient rehab. Before she even finished...	MommysGirl	7	582	Jul 14, 2010 by MommysGirl
	New to the group (Preview) Good evening I have a 17 yr old girl who has been caught with alcohol, smoking ,and has confessed to smoking marijuana several times time. She claims this is normal and thats what all kids do. After coming down on her she will after time give the same story Ive learned my lesson until the next time we have...	cpigg	7	725	Jul 14, 2010 by xeno59
	Policewife, of Alcholic (Preview) OMG dont know where to start. Long history with a's. First husband alcholic, father of my 17 yr old son (going into US marines next summer ughh already enlisted in dep)...My first hubsand and I were divorced 1 year or so after marriage. My son a baby. My a was in and out of our lives for next 5 years, rehab, j...	bev1965	4	1062	Jul 14, 2010 by petpal
	I ignored his late night text (Preview) I did not hear from my exah/bf all day yesterday. He did not go to school. I know this b/c mid-morning my son told me he was still at the house. You see, we do not live together. He lives w/his grandma. We were supposed to spend all day Sunday together as a family and he was a no show. I texted him several...	QOD	4	1199	Jul 14, 2010 by QOD
	Trying not to react (Preview) I am having a hard time not reacting my As negativity even though he is out of town and far away from me right now. He is working out of state and keeps wanting to come home early even though he agreed with his employer about the time required. He is waiting for me to give him approval to leave early which I h...	rxygrl	4	770	Jul 14, 2010 by rxygrl
	Acknowledging that I manipulate too! (Preview) Yep I do that, I come out with sweeping statements and at the time of saying my stuff I really do say what I mean and I say it mean sometimes, I guess whilst I still live with my husband, habits of a life time, are very hard to break and since straight forward communication is not something that has happened h...	Katy	9	1048	Jul 14, 2010 by Katy
	Members service outside the groups (Preview) Aloha Family...this is an encouragement post cause I looked at who I am contacting and how in my town and country and found that I was missing contacting the fellowship. If you have time in the program and are walking it...done the requirements and suggestions and had deep personal success let me enc...	Jerry F	0	488	Jul 14, 2010 by Jerry F
	checking in (Preview) Hi, I'm Carol, alanon. I'm a mess now. I am h aving dental work done; the anesthetic is wearing off now and I hope the pain won't be too bad. It's a very difficult root canal---have to go back to endodontist in 2 weeks---he says it's a "tough tooth", wants to give it his "undivided attenti...	Carol_Lynn	1	371	Jul 13, 2010 by Rocky38
	What to do when trust is lost (Preview) I just don't know what to do. Last night I found a stash of empty gin bottles that my fiancé was trying to sneak out of the house (god love him, he's so forgetful, forgot to take them with him when he left and left them lying on the floor by the door.) I've always known that he drank, more than I wanted him to, b...	ireland429	9	1451	Jul 13, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	detachment, trusting HP, feeling alone (Preview) I went to the online meeting tonight (6pm PDT) and it was good topics. Feeling alone and trusting HP and detaching---all topics I could really relate to. I have doubted HP lately. So much pain and grief right now. Dental work, expenses, issues with my roommate/best friend, marital issues, physical...	Carol_Lynn	3	845	Jul 13, 2010 by Carol_Lynn
	Hope is here.... (Preview) First off, I am new here.... I have been with my ABF for 4 years now, although we have been seperated now for almost 9 months. I left him in October, taking our 1 year old daughter with me, who is now almost 2. He started drinking around age 14, alcoholic by 16 and drank daily, on and off drug use for 16 years....	Ri	7	846	Jul 13, 2010 by Ri
	The lesson of minding my own business (Preview) My AH went to work at 6:30 am. and is not home yet, he called and said he had to work late today. It is now 10:30 p.m. I've been sitting here fretting and worrying about if he is still at work or if he "fell off the wagon." I have completed every task I could think of while "waiting" for...	Sweet Stanley	6	1234	Jul 13, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	Am I the Bad Guy? (Preview) Hi again. Posted a couple months ago. ABF had gone to detox. I was hopeful. Well, he's now convinced himself he doesn't have a problem. If I bring up his drinking, he gets nasty and defensive. He's not living with me, but he lives in my building with a friend, so he's always around. Luckily, he has to move o...	jettiesgirl	9	843	Jul 13, 2010 by sirpher
	Rehab Limbo (Preview) Hi, I'm new to the group. I'm not sure if this is what you're supposed to write, but my older brother is an alcoholic and drug user. He has struggled for 14 years now, so I have 14 years of heartbreaking stories and frustrations, but right now I'd really like to talk about his current situation. He's...	sadsib	5	824	Jul 13, 2010 by Bettina
	It's been a while but I NEED to VENT! (Preview) I have been back together w/my ex husband for almost 2 years now. We were married for 15 years. Separated for 1 year and divorced for almost a year before we got back together. We do not live together...just dating. So he suffers from depression and is not being treated for it. He is in school right no...	QOD	4	857	Jul 13, 2010 by QOD
	He NEEDS me! (Preview) I am missing my ABF and my apartment very, very much. My thoughts are becoming more clear and the depression from the past 2 weeks of chaos is finally lifting a little, but I am considering going back. No decisions are going to be made on my part right away, but I do (kind of) want to go back. (Even though now...	Nalina	11	1129	Jul 13, 2010 by Nalina
	feeling crazy and seeing my part... (Preview) Friends, I come here every day for my daily dose of al-anon. I don't post much anymore, mostly due to time, but I am off today, all is quiet except what is spinning around in my head. Amazing, how I always hear/read what I need. I just read about "ask an A what time it is and he will tell you how to buil...	Loupiness	5	1155	Jul 13, 2010 by maresie
	Confusion over alcoholic's self talk - explain please (Preview) I've heared it said many times that we can say nothing to the A to beat them up more than they have already said to themselves. I don't understand this because my AH has an ego the size of Charleston, WV and demonstrates nothing to suggest that he believes anything he's doing is a problem. If he is in tota...	imwithstupid	11	930	Jul 13, 2010 by maresie
	Hope sprngs eternal - one day at a time (Preview) I see that along with detachment, I have a huge issue with control and I am sure it could be classified as trying to "control," but yesterday before I went to my morning al-anon meeting, I just had to try and talk to my AH while he was sober because I'm sure he never examines what he's doing othe...	imwithstupid	14	901	Jul 13, 2010 by maresie
	It hurts so much (Preview) Dear all, It has been a tough weekend. My EXAH called me so many times last night, i eventually turned off the phone. I did not even try to listen to the messages last night because I wanted to have a peaceful night. This morning, I started listening to his messages, most of them were related to the fact he w...	Adabnu	5	886	Jul 13, 2010 by maresie
	Found out AH has kidney issues (Preview) So AH had a heat stroke yesterday and had to be taken to the ER. While there they did blood tests and found out that it seems like he has "renal insuffency". They highly recommended that he see a doctor immediately. So he says he wants to go next week, let's see. I guess it was a blessing that...	need lots of help	5	752	Jul 13, 2010 by maresie
	New here - Introduction (Preview) I have been married to my AH for 14 years. He was a heavy drinker when I met him but so was I back then. We had fun and that was all that mattered. Nothing seemed out of control. I always had issues with his communication skills - or lack of them. He would appear paranoid about somebody and then obsess for week...	Northof60	5	812	Jul 13, 2010 by Northof60
	for once my AH is NOT the problem! (Preview) Well, it's been a chaotic time for the past couple of weeks but for once, it's NOT due to my AH! He is in his 3rd week of not drinking, going to meetings every night, and just generally being the wonderful person that he is when he is sober. It's a good thing, because with everything else I've been going thro...	never going back	11	812	Jul 13, 2010 by hopeforme
	My Confession (Preview) A person dear to me introduced me to this website recently. What a blessing! In the short time I have been lurking I have learned so much. I can relate to some stories. I cried for the first time. It felt good, so I cried some more. The hardest part for me is the first step. "We admitted we were pow...	Sansui1210	5	831	Jul 13, 2010 by xeno59
	A Special "THANK YOU" (Preview) From me to many of you, (those who wrote and those who simply read, and most important those who prayed) To each and every person who responded to my post about the young man who died last week and was buried this weekend, my heart embraced every word you shared with me. Intellecutally, I already knew wh...	John	7	1195	Jul 13, 2010 by xeno59
	I need to apologize... (Preview) I need to apologize for yesterday to my husband of almost 11 years! Yesterday I was awful & kept calling him a MORON for pretty much nothing; although I have to admit he was acting kinda stupid! I really just called him a moron under my breath; basically to myself. What's up with that? I didn't even ac...	Hoot Nanny	3	1275	Jul 13, 2010 by xeno59
	ADULT DAUGHTER AND 3 ADULT GRANDCHILDREN BANKRUPTING US (Preview) My daughter is a drug addict, 40 yrs old. Her 3 sons, ages 18, 19, and 20 are pot addicts. Five years ago, our daughter started drugs, lost her good job, lost her home, her vehicle. Her 3 sons got hooked on pot to deal with living with her actions. For about a year, she went to a housing project with her b...	goincrazyinky	9	995	Jul 13, 2010 by Sweet Stanley
	I am being manipulated by my 15-year-old daughter... daughter teenager pot lies manipulative (Preview) She has never been a very stable human being, but now, after almost a year of sneaking around trying to see this boy (who spends his free time in juvenile hall), she has still not stopped lying to me. She's always been silly, vulnerable, gullible and deceptive, manipulative to get what she wants. I am ca...	punkydoodah	6	7735	Jul 12, 2010 by punkydoodah
	Looking for support (Preview) So my AH does not care that he is a Type 1 diabetic and continues to drink and thinks that he can hide it! He is so mean when he drinks. I love him to death when he has not had a drop. Because of financial reasons, I cannot leave. We have a 7 year old son that means the world to us. But my AH forgets how much o...	helpme08	7	637	Jul 12, 2010 by Northof60
	The Discommodation (Preview) On the day of my divorce court hearing, I decided to go alone. I had a few offers of support, but something told me I needed to go do this alone. My marriage had been one without much of a social life and I thought that in it's finality, I should be reminded of that fact. When I got there, wife was there with...	barisax	4	975	Jul 12, 2010 by barisax
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.