Lost, frustrated and holding on to whatever is left.. - Al-Anon Family Group

renee26 · Newbie

Lost, frustrated and holding on to whatever is left..

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

renee26 wrote:

I dnt know how to not think about it every single moment. I worry all the time about him. Im living my life for his disease.

How do I stop doing this? How can I get my life back? Im in this daze- Iv stopped talking to my friends and family and just feel like we are stuck in a hole. I confront him and he has me thinking Im crazy. I just want it to be normal again.

Hi Renee

Welcome to MIP and to Alanon. I highlighted a portion of your posting that clearly outlined how most of us feel when we first entire the rooms of alanon and find this Board.

As you no doubt know alcoholism is a disease and by living with this disease we are affected in the manner that you outlined. The disease of alcoholism is powerful and baffaling. We did not cause it, we cannot control it and we cannot cure it. Our only choice is to learn new tools to take care of ourselves in this painful living arrangement.

Breaking the isolation is very important. Coming here and sharing is a big step. We have on line meetings here 2xs a day and a chat room open 24/7. Alanon has have face to face meetings in many local comunities. Please try to start attending. Help in finding a meeting near you by

going to the following link:

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html

There is hope and help

You are no longer alone.

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Renee and welcome to the MIP board and Al-Anon. Wish you had been
at my face to face home Al-Anon meeting this evening where the topic was
on "Choices".   Get to the first open meeting you can and get to the literature
table and get as much as you can of it before sitting down and listening to the
fellowship speak to your mind, heart, spirit and emotions.

You'll find the hotline number for Al-Anon in the white pages of your local
telephone book. If there is no live person on the other end there will be
a recording. Or you can call AA central office and ask them if they know
where and when Al-Anon meets.   Lots of AAs' are in Al-Anon also. There
are other choices to how you are living now but you gotta come listen to
them and how others work them.

As for your alcoholic and what he says and what he does? That's typical
acting out behavior for a drunk. Don't wait for him to get back into AA if
that ever happens...you don't need him to build your own recovery and
you are not alone, as you have already learned, just show up for more
face to face support.   (((((hugs))))) smile

imwithstupid · Member

((((Renee))) We've all been there and can so relate to your story. You've taken an important first step in seeking help for YOU. By going to meetings and reading the literature and talking to others and listening to their stories, and posting online, you will not feel so alone and you will be amazed at how soon you will develop reliable tools that you can use to calm yourself when you are feeling crazy due to someone else's behaviors. You've taken an important first step by coming here. I felt just like you when I came just a few weeks ago. The caring and fellowship I have received from people here has truly changed my life and it can do the same for you. Please join us at our online meetings - 9 am or 9 pm if you can. We'd love to see you there.

XXX jennyp

Greenvalleygal · Veteran Member

I tried to join in a meeting online last night but my computer will not let me on. Any ideas?

Katy · ~*Service Worker*~

Just keep trying, it chucks me out too sometimes, but don't give up, and before you know it someone will notice and help you back in.

I suspect it is a connection problem at who's end I have no clue, but usually I am not left out too long! Good luck xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Katy

x

Rocky38 · Senior Member

Hi Renee,

I'm so sorry your AH relapsed after 8 years sober. It's such an horrific reminder of the power of the disease. I will hope and pray your AH finds his way back into recovery.

Others here have offered you terrific suggestions. You have been affected by another's drinking and you also need a program of recovery for yourself. It will help you deal with what is to come, no matter what us to come, in a better way. With lots of help from your new alanon friends and your HP.

Hugs, Rocky.

tlcate · Senior Member

Hello Renee and welcome to MIP!

Many of us can relate to what you are feeling and I am sorry that you are experiencing this now. When I was in the place of being stuck, isolating from all my friends and family, and basically just miserable - recovery helped me so much!

For me, getting the Al-Anon literature and other books like "Getting them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews, everything I could get from Melody Beattie and Pia Mellody was a great start. Then I found a sponsor and worked the steps and the difference in my life was so profound - the difference in my heart was something I can not even put into words.

You have come to the right place. We do understand and are here to virtually support and love you until you can find happiness . . . and even after! Al-Anon is a great program and hopefully you can find a meeting in your area and come here and share your journey with us.

In recovery,

Tricia

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.