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Post Info TOPIC: we could all use some humor


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 13
Date:
we could all use some humor


background- my husband was forced to rehab by his boss. drinking was so bad he was passing out at work and drinking in the car.of course he lied about all of this. when i asked him before he went to rehab I got these answers:

How much were you drinking in the car?  answer was 12 ounces. who answers like that?

why did you drink in the car after you have had a dui? answer- at least I wasn't in a bar. what??

weren't you afraid of a cop stopping you? answer- I had it hidden  ( yeah, I forgot cops don't know where to search)

gotta love that alcoholic gibberish!

I know some alanoners would question why I wanted to know these things. I dont  like being duped, and I want the whole story. even when or if he makes it to making amends except when injuring me, I don't agree. I prefer brutal honesty and like to know what I am up against'

don't courts ask for the truth, the whole truth?



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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1138
Date:

I totally can relate for your "need to know the truth" so to speak from your A.
I used to seriously badger my son ( whose is my A) until he would "tell the truth". And his answers too were not rational.
After working the program for a while I realized a couple of things
1. If I looked and believed what I was seeing before me ( instead of what my A was telling me) and listened to my gut insticncts..... I already knew the truth so why should I continue to drive myself crazy trying to get him to admit it.
2. I stopped expecting a rational answer from an irrational person. A's rationalized thier diease in ways we will never know or understand. What make sense to them makes no sense to us.
What we are looking for is Validation for what we already know and we are looking for that validation from someone who is sick and from a disease that will tell us anything we want to hear to protect itself and simply put to get us off thier backs.
I found I could look within myself for that validation and in that realization was able to restore a little bit of sanity back into my life and even my A's life by giving up all my interrogation techniques.
I don't think any of us alanoners question why you wanted to know all those things. We have all been in your shoes at some point. Your need to know is natural. We just can't look to the A to tell the truth sad as that may be to accept.
I found I can't expect my A to act in any other way than what he is and thats as addict. I can only change the way I act or react.
Blessings

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Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 325
Date:

thank you for posting. sounds so familiar.

buick

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~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3854
Date:

We have a nasty joke in our area , \how can u tell if an alcoholic is lying - are his lips moving ?? sad but true . A practicing alcoholic dosnt know the truth they live in delusion . expecting honesty from a A is a lesson in futility , he tells the truth as he sees it ..distorted thinking .

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I came- I came to-I came to be



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1744
Date:


How can they answer why they drink or how they drink when they dont even know themselves.

They dont have a clue.

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Bettina
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