I have currently made a decision to stay right where I am at. I am using some of my tools I have learned from alanon and other literature I have read. I still have to continue dealing with that anger that comes out when I start thinking he is just using/drinking to get me. It has nothing to do with me. Although sometimes the remarks he makes are sharp, i ignore them.(about his addiction).

I can leave later if it gets dangerous. I set some boundries,(at least I think thats what I did). I told him the rent and utilities had to be paid because I was not going to live on the edge of homelessnes. If he doesn't pay them I will leave, he knows this. Other than that I don't care what he does with his money or his bills. I gave him back the responsibilty for his son.(all the legal phone calls and stuff). I am living my life and in the process I get to enjoy my spouse sometimes because we are not fighting over control.

He told mw a week ago ,"I haven't drank for two weeks. I just want to reassure you I am not an alcoholic". I looked at him and said" Drink if you want to, if it gets to be too much for me I will leave." That was the end of the topic, nothing to prove or argue about.

Most non-alcoholics I know don't have to reassure people they are not alcoholics.lol I almost laughed.Just like the THC comment, he doesn't think it's a drug, laughter almost got me. Not the good kind, the you are stupid kind. hehe but I didn't do that.

I am attending meetings of all kinds once again. I might still be crazy but I have some peace in my gut today. Thanks all of you!!

-- Edited by miss_carol on Saturday 17th of July 2010 05:08:34 PM