The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I had an interesting thought occur to me yesterday evening when I was driving home from work.
I'd recently gone through an experience at my new place where I came across a stray cat that turned out to be really friendly. I'd been thinking that at some point in time, I'd like to get a pet (I was thinking a parrot, I've had a parrot in the past and love them.) The cat hung around my place for several days, always rubbing all over me, purring and meowing whenever he saw me and I went outside. I knew he must be hungry, but I didn't want to feed him because I wasn't thinking I wanted a cat for a pet, and knew the moment I fed him, he'd make himself at home.
After several days of this, looking at him sitting out on the lanai with his head bowed and looking pretty sad and skinny, I finally decided to take pity on the cat and feed him. I had an interesting thought go through my head at this time of how this cat was playing on my Al-Anon characteristics to feel responsible for everything around me. My disease had me pretty convinced if I didn't feed this cat, it would probably die and it would be my fault!!
So, I started feeding the cat, and he seemed to get his energy back. Of course now he really hung out, but was still extremely affectionate and sweet. He kept wanting to come into my place every time I opened the door - I was not going to allow him in my place. He had fleas and who knows what else. But I started thinking about it more and decided... okay... maybe I can let him in my place, but I'm taking him to the vet first to get him checked out before I consider it.
When I took him to the vet, I did ask them to check to see if the cat had a microchip. It was so friendly, I was pretty sure it could have been someone's lost pet.
Sure enough, the cat had a microchip, and long story short, the cat got reunited with his real owners. I was happy for the cat and the owners - felt I did right, and felt my HP and the cat's HP put the two of us together for a reason. Maybe a little company for me on my first week living alone, and obviously for the cat's benefit, that I'd take good care of it. I was pretty sure if the cat didn't turn out to have an owner, I'd unofficially adopt it.
So, I was thinking about the cat last night and the whole pet situation... thinking that I'd like to get a pet sometime. But then I really liked how things went with the friendly stray. I certainly didn't choose the cat... it found me. And it got me thinking about God's will.
I thought to myself... now, if I go out seeking a pet, then I think I'm going to be operating on my will, not God's. Maybe I should just sit back for a while and let things be before I force a solution with getting a pet.
I also thought about that where relationships are concerned. I know I'll be interested in pursuing a new relationship sometime after I finalize my divorce. But I think it'll be interesting to sit back and let my HP work his/her will for me instead of my "forcing a solution" and going out and actively looking for someone.
Who knows what God has planned for me? Maybe no pets or relationships at all. I don't know... but this gets to be an interesting place where I can sit and learn to be happy with myself and my relationship with my HP. Those should come first and foremost, anyhow. It's the most important relationship I'll ever have and it deserves the most of my energy and time.
I loved that, and isn't it amazing what comes when we sit quiet and wait, I've only just started letting god have his will, and he does me proud every time, I wanted a pet too, and I went for a new job today and they have one there, a lovely black and white cat! It sat with me through my interview!
It seems a little symbolic that this animal showed up in your life and allowed you a healthy "letting go" process in the middle of what may be a more difficult "letting go" of your A. It could be considered somewhat relateable to the healing of yourself that you have been working toward!
I really enjoyed reading that! It sounds like you are becoming stronger and more at peace every minute!
Aloha...Aloha Girl I have always enjoyed reading your stuff and being allowed to hear your story and having the blessing of even being in the same room with you a couple of times at functions. You have done so well with your program, listened, learned and practice practice practice. And this share is sooo right on and I have to tell you that I am rolling around on the floor because of the metaphor you have painted and how it hits my own sense of recovery which honestly at times is very warped. It is when you asked if the cat (alcoholic) had a microchip so that you could find the previous owner that I started laughing. It's a grand idea isn't it. If our alcoholics had microchips the solution would be just a bit more simple.
I read your duck theory and cat works too. We gotta get our alcoholics to the vet to check for a chip!!
I love that story. I am certain things happen for a reason. You HP was there.
As for animals. I have 2 dogs that found me. There are the most amazing animals I could wish for. It was meant to be. The one time I planned to get a dog and paid a breeder, it ended in failure.
hugs
J
__________________
Jackie
You never know how strong you can be until being strong is the only option you have left!
So just keep your head up and keep moving forward.
