The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well I haven`t been here in a number of months. This had been my only source of support since I had no way of getting to outside meetings w/ health issues and babysitting much too much. My health has since improved and I`am now trying to get to meetings and take better care of myself. I say I want to detatch from my daughter (qualifier) but once again its her daughter who (almost 7) is tearing at my heart. When I first came to alanon 5 years ago it wasnt for me it was because I was a wreck and I saw my daughter acting out horribly and she had a little baby at the time and I could see how it was harming her. I had no proof she was using anything but I would go into meetings and vent about her horrendous behavior towards me and the child. When I eventually had proof she was using crack I took measures and got custody for awhile. She did what she had to do to get her back and she has had her for awhile now. Never continuing with any program her addictions continue although they may change from one thing to another. Her behavior is childlike and has hurt me and her little girl. Her little girl has a difficult time at school and is now acting out by stealing and talking about wanting to try alcohol. She is only 6 years old. My daughter is not all that concerned with this. I`ve asked her reapeatedly to talk to the childs therapist about this but have yet to hear that she has. Sorry for rambling I just am soo very upset. I thought I could detach but I see this poor child becoming a victim of her mother. I give to my higher power but seem to be so angry that this little innocent child may go down the wrong path and Iam helpless to do anything. My heart is breaking...
I am so sorry that you are confronted with this pain. It is so important to take good care of yourself so that you will be available to respond to your grandchild.
I understand it is difficult to attend face to face meetings but we have wonderful on- line meetings here 2xs a day and a chat room open 24/7. Please consider attending and sharing your thoughts and fears.
Breaking the isolation and connnecting with others enabled me to find unthought solutions to my problems.
You are not alone and there is hope Please keep coming back
(((Samsgram))) I haven't been here much lately myself due to no longer having internet at home. But recently I was thinking of some of the people who haven't posted recently and wondering how they are. You were one of the people I was thinking about. I'm sorry to hear the situation hasn't improved. But it's good to hear from you. You're right that we are helpless, powerless to change our A's behavior. But we can and must take care of ourselves. I also know that you do whatever you can to take care of your precious grandchild. Trust in your HP however hard it may be. I'm finding that particularly difficult right now myself. But that's all I can do. Well, that and come here when I can for the incredible love and support. You and your family are in my prayers.
Totally relate to having an addicted child and very sorry for your pain. I can't even fathom how I would handle a 6 yr old grandchild wanting to try alchohol. Is it possible for you to call the childs therapists and let them know whats going on? Of course they can't tell you anything but that is much needed information for them to have. I pray you are taking care of yourself Blessings
Thanks for the support.. It means so much to me.. As for the childs therapist. I have tried in the past calling her to speak with her but she will not return my calls. She has known about my daughter actually hurting this child at one point and chose to do nothing. My daughter seems to have a way with almost everyone including therapist, judges and the list goes on. They seem to side or make excuses for her. My anger and resentment can really get going if I allow it when I stop and think about how this system has not had this childs best interest at heart.
