The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went to deliver basics my adult A Son needed from grocery store. Drove up- he came out ranting and raving demanding his truck keys(truck and insurance in my husbands name) Called him he said give him his keys. I did. He cursed and called me everything bad. I know on this probation, he is most likely going to prison if he don't die before. I came home and have repeated the 3 c's all evening.
Aloha okwitt...that was lesson time. Just some experience from this old timer, there is no justification for abuse don't place yourself in front of it. Your job is to keep okwill safe and secure...do your job even if it requires calling for help. Seems to me that your son is forgetting that everyone has the upper hand on him today. Don't place yourself in that situation. If you have a sponsor call your sponsor first... (((((hugs)))))
I'm sorry you had to hear your son be disrespectful to you. My experience with this kind of behaviour is that it can get worse (before it can get any better). My approach was to get as much distance as possible from the behavior. My AH had his back against a wall, his illness coming at him from all angles, he would lash out at those closest to him, who loved him and who were trying to help. There's no rationalizing with it. Best to get out of the way. That may be the best way you can show your love.
I'm sorry you experienced that pain. It helped me to try and remember that this disease can do and say some very ugly things. Those actions are not always what our loved ones would do without having the addiction influence over them. You and your's are in my prayers.
No one, absolutely no one has to accept abuse be it verbal or physical. There is no situation that calls for it. There is no excuse for it. No reason, situation, or disease that can justify it. It's his little red wagon to push or pull in any direction he wishes, and he owns the wagon. Take care of yourself by staying out of harms way. I think that is what HP would want you to do and the program tells you to do.
HUGS, RLC
-- Edited by RLC on Saturday 17th of July 2010 01:09:23 AM
I'm sorry for your painful experience and I know how it feels :( Try not to take it personally, and practice taking care of you and Your Life whenever possible :)
I also have an alcoholic son that lives next door to me and I think the lights finally came on when he told me to get out of his apartment and let him live his life. I said "Fine - your rent is due every Monday and if it isn't paid, you can look for a place to live." Remeber the three C's and practice it every day. We can all learn to treat ourselves as good as we treat others.
