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And I have neglect those that helped
(Preview)
I read a recent post from someone new to here and it struck me to reply. I could see myself in the original poster and I felt the need to offer some support. Then it struck me that I have neglected to thank those who were a lifeline in what has to be described as the worse time in my life. And there was one thing I...
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Acatnip
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6
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777
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Dealing with A-brothers and A father,
(Preview)
Hi All, One of my A-brothers has turned up well and is working, so good news, there had been no word off him for a good few months so I am glad his HP is looking out for him. Today I handed it over. My father is pissed at me because I will not ring him. I have had to detach from this situation for a number of reasons...
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maire rua
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3
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644
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Alcoholic husband moved out while I was at work
(Preview)
Hi, I am a member of Al-Anon, however, new to this board. My husband is the alcoholic who brought me to the program. He was pretty much on a 2 year bender, and has been sober for almost 8 months now. We've only been married for a little over a year, and got married in the midst of active alcoholism I know - mist...
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stopandchat
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11
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2684
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Just came home from 6 wk program....
(Preview)
My husband just came home from rehab, he has been sober 44 days. Today I suspected him of drinking or lyeing. Pretty sure he was doing one or the other or both. I tried to talk to him and assure him that I just wanted the truth and no matter what we would get through it together but that didnt seem to get me any...
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kablisnow
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7
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991
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death
(Preview)
One of my closest friends mom died today. She overdosed on pills. Very sad day. Please say some prayers for my friend and her family. thx buick
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buick23
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15
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828
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Learning how "to be"...
(Preview)
I have really been struggling with my relationship with my 17 yr old son lately. He is not an A, just a teenager, but shares so many characteristics of my exAh, that it is difficult at times to separate myself. So, is an A like a teen or a teen like an A? Hard to know, all I know is that I am easily triggered a...
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Loupiness
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5
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737
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And how was your day!!!!
(Preview)
Hi all, in case no one has asked you today, I will, So how was your day My husband who is in essential services came in today and told me how many lives he saved and how many fights he stopped, having a real hard and stressful day. When he had vented he looked at me and said, I should go for a ride just to vent...
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petpal
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9
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885
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cant get in to chat boards.....
(Preview)
Does anyone know why I cant get in All it says is java chat denied.... thanks for all info petpal xxx
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petpal
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3
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481
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Its Been Awhile...
(Preview)
Well I haven`t been here in a number of months. This had been my only source of support since I had no way of getting to outside meetings w/ health issues and babysitting much too much. My health has since improved and I`am now trying to get to meetings and take better care of myself. I say I want to detatch f...
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Samsgram
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4
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1009
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My step-children's mom going to rehab for 30 days...help!
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new to this site and new to the condition of alcoholism. I have three step-children ages 19, 17 and 11. Their mother will be going in for residential treatment in a week for 30 days. During that time they will be living with me and their father full time. (We normally have them every other week...
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stepmom
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4
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7403
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Sick Feeling
(Preview)
I have that old sick feeling that I fight so hard to not have. Alcoholic son is suppose to work today but has been on a three day drunk during his time off. I have not talked to him but normally I give him a ride to and from work if his brother is not available. I have texted him and asked if he needed a ride and...
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Greenvalleygal
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19
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958
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feeling terrible
(Preview)
I went to deliver basics my adult A Son needed from grocery store. Drove up- he came out ranting and raving demanding his truck keys(truck and insurance in my husbands name) Called him he said give him his keys. I did. He cursed and called me everything bad. I know on this probation, he is most likely goin...
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okwitt
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6
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930
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Scary "blackout" ranting
(Preview)
Hi Guys, My alcoholic son lives with us in a basement bedroom and the last couple of nights I heard voices. coming from down there at 3:30 in the morning. He was moving around down there, swearing, and ranting, sounding very angry. It was scary, he is usually quite mild mannered and sweet even when dru...
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MotherTeresa
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3
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1016
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He has rotten luck
(Preview)
My exah/bf has the worst luck. When it rains, it pours with him. He was making his 1st pizza delivery last night and got a flat tire. He put on the spare and that went flat too! I picked him up & brought him back to my house so his mom could pick him up from there and he could take his tire to a friend's ho...
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QOD
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8
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653
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National Ice Cream Day
(Preview)
((((Family)))), On this day President Ronald Reagan declared it NATIONAL ICE CREAM DAY! Now I would have thought he would have found some way to declare it National Jelly Bean Day, as we all know about his love of jelly beans. Now I think we should honor this man, plus help out all the dairy farmers b...
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Karilynn
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8
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711
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This morning I have awakened, "mad at the world."
(Preview)
I could use a vacation. It is too hot here to get outside to play, and I am feeling a bit resentful and angry on top of that. One of these days I will get myself together, but it won't be this morning. Loving one minute and hating the next is not good for one's mind or heart. Thanks for listening. Perhaps I'...
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Diva
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7
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601
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MyProgress Milestone
(Preview)
As a child, I would be anxious until my alcoholic dad was safely home. (Even then, who knew what would happen when he got home? ) I would look throughout the big house as a little kid, ending at the garage. If his car were not in the garage, I knew he wasn't in. Then I figured out to go first to the garage....
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Jill
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2
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834
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boundaries?
(Preview)
After more than a year from hell my Ah finally quit drinking. For awhile. He went over three months sober but this past week I've noticed he's been drinking a couple of times. Not drunk, just silly like he gets after a couple of drinks. He says he can have a drink or two now and then and he's fine with that....
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pineapple
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5
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733
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Who are you coming as today? KKKKKKKKKaty,
(Preview)
Well I am going to be nice and smiley, and going to be the opposite of what I always blamed my hubby, for turning me into, with a wrong word, a wrong look, body language, there are just tooooooo many people in this relationship, and I am half of them, so just for today I am going to be just ONE SMILEY FACED PER...
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Katy
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9
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720
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tea or beer
(Preview)
So he says if there is no tea i might have to drink a beer. I would have freaked out about that years ago and now I can just think to myself, if u wanna beer have a beer. whatever. I see the blaming me here again. if you don't make tea, I blame you for drinking a beer. Really I can laugh about it and I'm not falling f...
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buick23
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6
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871
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So furious - need a rant!
(Preview)
Hi. Haven't been in for a while. Have been very stressed both at work and home. AH has been very ill - finally got him into hospital where they de-toxed him got him eating again, did numerous tests which all pointed to his symptoms being the result of his alcool intake (at least 1/2 bottle brandy a day). It...
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Tattyhead
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8
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1089
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Says he's going back to program
(Preview)
AH is coming off of a pretty bad binge...I think b/c there is no more alcohol in the house...I've asked him to go back to program a lot of these last 6 -12 months. (He binges a few days- gets sick- gets sober for a while then binges again). Tonight he came into the room and said he was sorry ( as he was detoxin...
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brb446
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6
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733
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But fo rthe Grace of my HIgher Power
(Preview)
Was in the supermarket today. It is always a scene, as the one near us is also right in the middle of some heavy drinking bars. There's also a heavy bunch of heroin and methadone use in my area. The scene: I hear a young girl 12 or 13, screaming her head off in the most angry, hateful way to her Mom across the en...
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alanonicScotland
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2
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1217
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Patience With Sober Family Members
(Preview)
I've probably posted about patience before - or my lack of it. :) I've noticed in my recovery that I am able to be much more patient with the alcoholics in my life. I'm able, at least for today, to understand that they are spiritually sick and when they do things that hurt themselves, they hurt themsel...
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White Rabbit
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1
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561
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Finally breathing easier ( at least for today)
(Preview)
I have currently made a decision to stay right where I am at. I am using some of my tools I have learned from alanon and other literature I have read. I still have to continue dealing with that anger that comes out when I start thinking he is just using/drinking to get me. It has nothing to do with me. Althoug...
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miss_carol
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2
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679
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we could all use some humor
(Preview)
background- my husband was forced to rehab by his boss. drinking was so bad he was passing out at work and drinking in the car.of course he lied about all of this. when i asked him before he went to rehab I got these answers: How much were you drinking in the car? answer was 12 ounces. who answers like that...
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oscarmom
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4
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1118
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Not believing my excuses for staying, it's probably really fear.
(Preview)
I am checking in and trying to settle my brain to a contented quiet. I can't tell if I am shut down. I cried for months and now I am just telling myself it's ok and I don't have to decide right now.I feel sort of numb and dazed.(nothing new there lol) Except for the fact that I get so angry when I see my a/h acting...
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miss_carol
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4
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665
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New to on line al-anon but not to al-anon itself.
(Preview)
Hi my name is Mary D.I go to the just 4 today group in my home town of Newberry Mi Friday nights 7 pm.I am alternating weekends here is Sault Ste marie Mi.So I dont get to meetings like I should.My other half has been in the AA program 29 years July 7.We have been together 15 years July 1.I am telling you this be...
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littlemamasheart
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4
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698
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Possible cry for help
(Preview)
My ABF who I have left behind, 600 miles away, may possibly be showing signs that he is close to his bottom and in a round-about way, asking for help. He says,"Things are getting worse for me up without you and I don't see them getting better, I only see things getting worse. I am getting worse witho...
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Nalina
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7
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860
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Saturday awareness!
(Preview)
Humour lol instead of anger, I am starting to swap it, it is not my job to sort out the insanity of another, I can turn that frown upside down , and think to myself you are so funny, I am glad I am not you and very glad I am me katyx
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Katy
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2
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666
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Oh my God !!!
(Preview)
Ok its friday am and I cant get into the meeting room and man I am going wild here. I know I need these meetings but since I cant get in the room I am reminded of how much I need these meetings and how critical they are to starting my day with the right frame of mind...god im trying every which way to get in and ca...
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DreamXL
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9
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1018
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Friday thoughts!
(Preview)
I have been thinking lol OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, yes sorry, and I thought of all the people in this world who have I hurt most? And I think it is myself, this thing we live with is so cunning it makes us think we are telepathic, and majicians, we take it upon ourselves to try and do for others what they should be d...
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Katy
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4
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707
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can't get into online meetings
(Preview)
I was looking forward to the meeting this morning but for some reason can't get into the room. I've been going there for 6 months but this morning got a message about "security concerns". I tried to copy the whole message to post here but was unable to. Can someone help me with this or point me i...
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pineapple
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6
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506
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Vivatrol Pellet
(Preview)
Hey has anyone had experience with the vivatrol "pellet"? My boyfriend got it today and is sick--like withdrawl he says. Any idea how long this lasts? Could it be from residual "stuff" in his system still? Anyone know if these withdrawl symptoms will go away once his body ha...
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clementine
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2
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1077
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heartbroken
(Preview)
I am heartbroken today. The only thing that keeps me going I think are the slogans I keep telling myself. Keeping my side of the street clean, I'm not given more to deal with than I can handle, even though this is hard, and that hp has some kind of plan. My furry friend is keeping me company though. He lets me...
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buick23
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11
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1445
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Lost, frustrated and holding on to whatever is left..
(Preview)
Hi everyone- I just found this forum as I was looking for what ever help I could find. Iv been reading and its so nice to know there are others out there that are feeling the same as I am. I have been with my AH off and on for 19 yrs. I left him and took our kids for 4 of it, at that point he stopped drinking, started...
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renee26
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7
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748
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Song of the day?
(Preview)
yourself!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ie78VtBtwBI
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Katy
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2
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437
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Tip of the day! DON'T?
(Preview)
Put off until tomorrow what you can do today, why? because tomorrow might be really busy and will heap more pressure on you, and tomorrow never comes x KKKKKKKKKKKaty x
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Katy
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0
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485
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Giving up control/Not taking it personally
(Preview)
Giving up control and not taking it personally are for me the hardest things i'm struggling with in my relationship with my sober ABF. He does not express many emotions about how he feels about me, except when i have tried to leave. So i stay, thinking this time things will be better ( I know) and usually...
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bluerose79
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3
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1102
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My addiction was control!
(Preview)
I took it upon myself to try and take control of everything, I don't think I had many days when I wouldn't think if you hadn't done that, or this hadn't of happened I would of had a good day, after a while it went outside the home everyone was getting at me, I was at war with the world, I was wondering how I could...
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Katy
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5
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785
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Ranting in Counselling
(Preview)
The last few days have been bad. I have tried to detach. Tried not to get wrapped up in his world. I think I do pretty good considering. My dad used to drink a lot but I don't remember him being at all like my AH. We were in couples counselling together this morning. Basically he rants. He is convinced that ev...
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Northof60
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8
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764
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husband sober but still lies
(Preview)
my husband has been sober about 100 days. that's the good news. bad news, he hasn't broken the lying habit. case in point: after he returned from rehab we were in the car, I opened the glove box to look for something and found a bottle of herbs for male enhancement. not like Viagra, but something you take d...
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oscarmom
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5
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1594
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enabler to my son
(Preview)
I'm feelin nervous . MY son says he call recovery house today. They say there is still a big list for him not to worry- sure they won't worry. Say they will send letter when opening comes. I wonder if he even called? or am I getting paranoid??
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okwitt
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11
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1064
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help
(Preview)
I am so busy I can not get to a meeting. I took vacation, went to visit family after 3 years out of state. So far behind at eh office I can not breathe. Here is the deal, I am struggling with a phone call I got from my brother who lives in a mission. The mission burnt down and he called to tell me he was okay. Of cour...
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rrayrray
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3
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653
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Jerry, Thank You!
(Preview)
You had written in a recent post to someone on this board to "step back a bit and put just enough distance between you & your alcoholic so that HP can take up that space . . ." I hope this reasonated with whom you addressed it to, as well as others on this board. It surely did with me. I read...
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GailMichelle
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4
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571
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why do i get this feeling
(Preview)
Why do I get this feeling that you guys think i'm from outer space? When I post I'm not getting any replies. Just cause my alcoholic is adult son doesn't mean I am not hurting and trying to learn. I'm hurting, and yes I've looked up brochures and trying to start on steps. I'm not getting to far in the meetin...
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okwitt
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11
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734
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Double winner 2 year anniversary of sobriety.
(Preview)
Today is my 2 year anniversary of stopping drinking. To stop was like taking the bus to work., the job doesnt start till you get there. What would keep me stopped and avoid me being a dry drunk or changing addictions was my question. Today I needed to better visualize why I have no interest in drinking at a...
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All I can be
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12
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1161
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Need Advice - Enabling
(Preview)
My wife and I have been in a really bad cycle for a few months now. For about a year, she would drink 1 bottle of red wine every 2-3 days. This isn't a trend I liked, but it could have been worse. It's progressively gotten worse to where she now has a bottle of wine and then asks me to get more for her. Before...
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Garrett
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14
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1009
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Feel like I abandon Him
(Preview)
It was the 23rd day since I walked away from him. Got a call from him today and he sounded like very sad and all he wanted was to talk.But I can't talk to him because every time when I talk to him since we broke up, I just feel more upset and miserable. So what I did was to tell him that I can't talk to him as I will ge...
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Adabnu
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7
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818
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Newbie with 29 year old alcoholic son living next door
(Preview)
My son has been in Rehab twice and each time he remains sober and clean for a couple of months but slides right back into his old habits. He is unable to keep a job but is currently working. He had two days off and has drank nonstop. When he drinks he tries to provoke an argument with anyone and everyone. ...
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Greenvalleygal
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10
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908
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God's will, not mine.
(Preview)
I had an interesting thought occur to me yesterday evening when I was driving home from work. I'd recently gone through an experience at my new place where I came across a stray cat that turned out to be really friendly. I'd been thinking that at some point in time, I'd like to get a pet (I was thinking a par...
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Aloha
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4
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840
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I can't do the program on my own. I need like minded people...
(Preview)
Hi Its been a while since last time I wrote anything here. I have described earlier how I entered Al-Anon in a desperate attempt at first to save a relationship with my ex-girlfriend who is an alcoholic in recovery. My reasons for staying in Al-Anon turned out to be very different as I started to realiz...
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Cosmos
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6
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554
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AH signed settlement
(Preview)
I haven't been around here for a while, but I thought I would give an update. I was married to my AH for 10.5 years, all of which he struggled with his disease. Once he sought help I hoped and prayed for his sobriety, only to be disappointed over and over. I finally asked him to leave in December '08. He has be...
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babysteps
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1
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550
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I am in love with an alcoholic
(Preview)
i have been sober for 3+ years. i fell in love with a man in the program who had about a year and a half on me. the man i fell in love with (sober and giving back) was not the man he became. he stopped going to meetings, became incredibly resentful at everyone and everything and turned into a dry drunk. n...
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iloveanalcoholic
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5
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905
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Newbie, introducing myself
(Preview)
Hello Everyone, I am new to the boards. My A is my mother. She is currently in her second round of detox. Last time, I thought she would be one of the lucky ones who beat this disease after only one try. We staged an intervention, and she agreed to detox and an inpatient rehab. Before she even finished...
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MommysGirl
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7
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517
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New to the group
(Preview)
Good evening I have a 17 yr old girl who has been caught with alcohol, smoking ,and has confessed to smoking marijuana several times time. She claims this is normal and thats what all kids do. After coming down on her she will after time give the same story Ive learned my lesson until the next time we have...
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cpigg
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7
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663
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Policewife, of Alcholic
(Preview)
OMG dont know where to start. Long history with a's. First husband alcholic, father of my 17 yr old son (going into US marines next summer ughh already enlisted in dep)...My first hubsand and I were divorced 1 year or so after marriage. My son a baby. My a was in and out of our lives for next 5 years, rehab, j...
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bev1965
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4
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972
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I ignored his late night text
(Preview)
I did not hear from my exah/bf all day yesterday. He did not go to school. I know this b/c mid-morning my son told me he was still at the house. You see, we do not live together. He lives w/his grandma. We were supposed to spend all day Sunday together as a family and he was a no show. I texted him several...
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QOD
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4
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1131
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Trying not to react
(Preview)
I am having a hard time not reacting my As negativity even though he is out of town and far away from me right now. He is working out of state and keeps wanting to come home early even though he agreed with his employer about the time required. He is waiting for me to give him approval to leave early which I h...
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rxygrl
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4
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705
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Acknowledging that I manipulate too!
(Preview)
Yep I do that, I come out with sweeping statements and at the time of saying my stuff I really do say what I mean and I say it mean sometimes, I guess whilst I still live with my husband, habits of a life time, are very hard to break and since straight forward communication is not something that has happened h...
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Katy
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9
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978
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