Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I've been told many times, as I've lamented about the lack of love in my life, that I had to learn to love myself. I have to admit to being skeptical about this. Can I do it, yes, have I loved myself in the past, absolutely. Now? Maybe not as much, but I dont' loathe myself. But it has never felt like enoug...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

My wife is for the most part a non drinking, alcoholic behaving person who creates tension, unease, financial hardship and insecurity in our household. Bad enough it gets to me but I worry about my daughter as well. I realize this isn't new to anyone else here, but I am so resentful and bitter toward he...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Funny my first time through alanon, about 10 years ago (was involved for 5 years or so), my higher power felt real, was a source of comfort and I believed in him. This time, I'm not feeling it. I feel abandoned by my HP, or that he's ineffectual. It's such a part of recovery that I dont' know how to move on w...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...I've got another opportunity to talk with a local representative regarding a legislative proposal I've mentioned before that seeks fairness, honesty and justice on the issues regarding alcohol in my small community. I've been at this for a while and like I've been taught in Al-Ano...

lyndebi · lyndebi

yuck. This is tough. I am emotionally fine. But I tell ya, this is a drag. I got to none but was not feeling right. Doc told me to do it more gradual. Woke up feeling icky so took some. Will get over it yet! (c: All is great here, animals are all fat, Peaches horse looks like a yellow cow....Pony Pete had a bad cu...

Greenvalleygal · Greenvalleygal

My adult sons live next to me and Son 1 is an alcoholic while Son 2 who is a Type I diabetic is addicted to prescribed pain meds and abuses them by snorting. By the end of the month, he runs out of pills and does whatever he can to purchase street drugs. Yesterday Son 2took money from Son 1 without asking ......

freespiritedbird83 · freespiritedbird83

Hey all, My name is Maryann. I am a 27 year old female currently residing and living in Wisconsin. I am a semi-new member of Al-Anon in my town, and I am looking for a sponsor online or offline, as long as I can find one in the coming future. Although my group is very lovely and very nice, I just dont know, can...

Samsgram · Samsgram

This would not be the first time I have given her a loan. I changed the subject today when she asked in her indirect way of asking me. I keep reminding myself of her awful she treated me for the last year BUT I feel terrible she says she`ll pay whoever gives the loan back $100 a week. I know she`ll moan and groa...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

A big thing that changed for me in recovery was my sense of humor. I mean, it was in there and would come out sometimes before the program, but I had no ability to laugh at myself and took everything soooo seriously. It's been a really amazing experience to find humor in things - even in recovery. Last n...

ollie · ollie

hi family. i dont post often,but im with you everday. well AH has just come out of hospital,he now has hernia,ulcer on the oesophagus,plus a bleed in the stomach. im not counting on this being his bottom,who knows. plus it was our ruby wedding anniversary yesterday. it went unoticed,not one card . ho...

Katy · Katy

For me everything lol, Jeez it has took me an age to get this wow, I have been wondering how to I get the trust back? And suddenly it hit me, did I really ever have any? Nope not really, so no wonder I can't get it back I am looking for something I only imagined I had, I am so lucky that I can start from scratch now...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((Family))), July 22 is never a good day for me. On that day 9 years ago I lost my father. What a hero he was to me. On that day 2 years ago I lost my beloved Tim. The two men I loved most in the world, lost on the same day 9 years apart. They are both in a better place, but God do I miss them terribly. I have bee...

myself · myself

I am so lost at the moment..I sit here and know that in the other room two of the most important people in my life are killing themselves and I can't do a thing to save either of them at all. I raised one and promised to always keep him safe and today he is 25 and has only been sober for 18 hrs in the last 30 days. I...

TLM · TLM

I haven't been here in a reallly long time, and can't get to a f2f meeting for a few days. I could really use some ESH today folks. For some reason, I am suddenly obsessing about the A in my life - about whether or not he is drinking, etc. I am literally making myself crazy. It has been a very long time since...

maresie · maresie

As a result of doing the 4th step (with a sponsor) all my relationships are changing. Friendships that I thought were mutual aren't. My whole view of the world has changed and my focus has gone from people pleasing and not feeling worthy to focus and feeling that I too deserve to have a life, goals and fe...

pax · pax

I'm new and reluctant to post this.. 2 alcoholics in my family and I'm a mom in grad school. I am unable to attend alanon meetings. Is there a forum with more privacy?

shadow1 · shadow1

((((((((((Family of Choice))))))) I'm trying to let go of some control in my life and I am in need of some help. I have been struggling with this for a while now and am at a loss with what to do. I have 2 teen boys 18 and 16. I have been a single parent for 2 1/2 years and have done 90% of the yard work, house work, l...

Overcome · Overcome

Ash got me to thinking about geographical moves when it comes to the alcoholic and that "wherever we go, there we are". I have made several geographical moves due to alcoholics in my life, and in each case it has never worked, just from the standpoint of "fixing the alcoholic situatio...

miss_carol · miss_carol

Rough weekend. I tried to practice my alanon by letting go and detaching. When hubby went to the bar Friday for the night. I did ok but I wish I could have just said ok see you later. NO! I had to get in my head going a million miles an hour. I didn't yell but I said "sweet" manipulative things like...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

Need to vent. There is one thing that I am so sick and tired of about this whole sickness. It's the isolation. I just talked to my husband's father and he told me that the family got together for a bonfire last night at the family camp. It was just an impromptu thing and I KNOW no one meant to hurt my feelings....

glad · glad

The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype. Some of the symptoms include: 1. Loss of direction 2. Foul vocal emission...

raid3rgirl · raid3rgirl

I've been married to my AH for 21 yrs and everyone is right it only get's worse. I am always angry, my poor children were raised in this Alcoholic Angry Home. I always felt like i can handle this. I am 42 now and now all my 3 children have children and do not like that i feel like i am reliving my childhood. ...

Samsgram · Samsgram

First let me explain.. My mother has some money that she has on occassion given to my daughter and children in advance when they needed something and said it was part of their inheritance. Although recently my mother doesnt seem to generous with it but she can be a softie when someone presents a situati...

Harvest · Harvest

I have been married to this man who has been smoking pot everyday . He also drinks alcohol 3 to 4 times a week. So many promises, "when the children will be born-I will quit", "when the kids are old enough to understand- I will quit" all unkept. Its your fault that I smoke and drink.....

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, My son decided no military (thank you God), don't misunderstand I think the people who fight every day to save our country are above all of us and I have great respect for them. I just don't want my son that far gone for than long (selfish but I don't care). I thought my son was doing drugs. I...

stopandchat · stopandchat

Hi, I posted about a week ago that my AH moved out while I was at work. He's still gone - he is living in a very scuzzy apartment on an air mattress. Anyway, we have seen each other several times (just last night went to an open talk together), and we talk and text every day, several times a day. He says he need...

BrokenBunny · BrokenBunny

I saw this Forum and I am new at this. Didn't know if I should even be doing this, but I have kept too much bottled inside and getting more confused if I am losing my sanity or not and maybe some suggestions and opinions. Been with boyfriend for 4 yrs. He drinks approx 4 glasses of Vodka each evening. Gets...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Another really nice birthday again this year! I enjoyed so much being with my husband & traveling 60 miles to see a movie & get a good lunch @ Red Lobster yesterday! When I got back on the computer this morning, I counted about 13 messages from my FB friends wishing me a happy birthday! I wish I ha...

glad · glad

I'm so glad we can take what we like and leave the rest. I've often said alanon is what organized religion-( First Baptist or Methodist Church or whatever) should hope to be. I recently encountered somene who had some good things to say but said it as if they has "arrived" at this all knowing s...

Grace M · Grace M

Hi everyone, I hate feeling so low and depressed but I can not help how I feel. I feel so drained of all energy and emotion I have nothing left to give, it has been a long time since I have felt this bad and I don't want to feel like this, usually I am hopeful, happy and have hope and faith. I usualy am the one to...

buick23 · buick23

My friends mom's memorial service was today and it was beautiful. I'm glad I went. I sat there and really listened to what the preacher had to say even though I am not christian. I was right where I was supposed to be. My bf now needs eye surgery which will take place tomorrow because of an injury that happe...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), Just a great big THANK YOU for all your love & prayers these past few days. I felt your support uplifting me. I know Tim & Dad were looking down and smiling on all the love. Your messages of love, support and wisdom brought tears to my eyes. You are the best of the best. I coun...

Ash · Ash

So in hindsight i see that in moving the family back to our hometown has helped relieve some stress in that I have extended family support and friends to go to with my 4 year old son if dry AH pulls something. On the other hand I just realized that part of my depression stems from the fact that i expected my &q...

this too shall pass · this too shall pass

hi... my A is my husband.. it has been very a rough ride..even thoug it has been only 3 and a half years since we have been married.. i knew him for 3 years before that but only saw his addiction on my weddign night for the first time.. he has been in recovery and slipped many a times... this time it has been abo...

this too shall pass · this too shall pass

hi, some of you may ahve read my earliers post.. i can't say enough how glad i am to have found you guys... i needed som wdvice.. my A in in recovery... he attends meetings and is away from usage.. someoen helped me understand it is difficult for him too.. he has been behaving very different and detached th...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

Our family has lived with over ten years dealing with my AS now 30 years old, you all are familiar with what is involved with this, DUI's, lost jobs, trying to keep a roof over his head so that he won't be on the streets, thinking that he would come to his senses at some point. Well, about 5 weeks ago a crisi...

punkydoodah · punkydoodah

She lied again and came home late. I am responsible for her as she is underage. Please. I know marijuana is not addictive, but it is a major time-waster and a social drug. It will only attract other pot-smokers to her. What do I do? How will I cope with the future? She always attracts the most troubled...

fenderfem09 · fenderfem09

Hey everybody, I need some advice. Hopefully I'll get some advice in an al-anon meeting I'm going to later today. So here's the deal. I'm dating this guy. He's currently in a halfway/recovery house in Wilmington NC (about 3.5hrs from me). Today is our one month anniversary, I guess you could call it th...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

I was reading today's Courage to Change and it really hit home for me today. I too have discovered my sense of humor again... It truly has been wonderful. It feels great to bring forth a hoot of laughter from my lips. It has also been a great reminder to myself to not take myself or my life so seriously....

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

God bless each of you for the response. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Remember us in your prayers.

Goodtillitsbad · Goodtillitsbad

I have been trying really hard to work on me and my recovery. I have a sponsor, been going to F2F and chat meetings and coming here. I am still working on step one with my sponsor for about 5 months now. However, my head keeps telling me to get out of this marriage. Logic is saying walk away, you deserve bette...

Carol_Lynn · Carol_Lynn

I referred a friend of mine to the online meeting tonight and she reported to me an unsettling experience. We don't expect royalty or being treated like queens and I realize you are human. But, please, please, please, try to be a little more welcoming, warm, and friendly, when greeting 'guests"...

kat42 · kat42

I know I need to get to an Al Anon meeting (I have never been). But with two children, full time school and part time work it seems to hit a back burner... Anways...the biggest issue I have trying to deal with my husband's alcoholism is the lies. He is on and off again with drinking and is trying his best. ...

QOD · QOD

My exah/bf is getting a full time back breaking job. A job finally. Maybe now he will send me child support. Problem is, he won't shut up about money! I hate talking about money. Talking about money does not solve my money issues. It just brings me down. I realize if have more going out than coming in...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

I know the focus needs to be on me, but as much as I've tried, I'm blowin up! I have a 19 year old neice who is always in a not-so-pleasant mood. She's a late bloomer (never went to prom, never has had a boyfriend, hasn't learned to drive). She's beautiful as far as "Hollywood" standards go.......

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Suffice it to say my wife is a dry drunk as well as an ACA. She exhibits all the behaviors of an alcoholic. Today, due to my work schedule, I couldn't take my daughter to a show she wanted to see badly. I asked my wife who I knew was free this evening and received an "I dont' know"....I asked, wh...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Former Alanon and ACA participant....50 years old, miserable marriage and feeling the most unhappy I've ever felt in my life. Divorce is NOT an option at the moment, may be in a few years (I'll explain some other time). My problem is I've lost my happiness and my hope. (I do like what I read from someb...

Cosmos · Cosmos

Hi all I have been in Al-Anon for about three months. When I started I was in England as a student. I went home to Norway almost three weeks ago and was very nervous about going to a Norwegian meeting. The only meeting I knew of in my area was a meeting especially for adult children of alcoholics. I didnt go...

LarryWhiteford · LarryWhiteford

Can anyone get into the acoa and alanon chatrooms? I am not able to get in wondering if anyone else was able to get in. thanks

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

My AH and I had a very good talk last night about patience (one of my favorite topics - NOT) and forcing things to work that don't. I know that I definitely want what I want when I want it. Period. And there have been so many times that when I didn't get what I wanted when I wanted it, I figured out a way to man...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I'm hurt and its my own fault. No I didn't do a quicky abandon my spouse and capture another alcoholic for a quick attempt at altering but maybe what I did was...is just as crazy. Any of you out there go to those punch, kick, dance and jump around high energy exercise classes? Okay now you know why I'm h...

mackey dee · mackey dee

Taking to AD last evening she sounded soo down.Talking so about her situation.Wanted so much to fly up there wrap her in a nice soft baby blanket and bring her home and tuck her in. Always rescued her cant do it anymore.This time it is up to her.She said the last time she was thinking her and ex would get bac...

okwitt · okwitt

As usual when I came here a few weeks ago I was looking for a magic fix for my A adult son. So far when I post on the board your so disappointethat I don't go to no f2f meetings. I appreciated all the responses on the board. Im reading the brochures, sayings and all. when I go to the online meetings, I don't fe...

stopandchat · stopandchat

Hi all, I'm working the steps - without a sponsor. I do plan to finish my work on steps 4, 5, 6 with a sponsor though. Anyway, I've been kind of skipping around. For instance, I've been making direct amends, but, haven't completed previous steps. Is this detrimental? Thanks!

FlyingSquirrel · FlyingSquirrel

I did a google search and saw some out there, but none that seemed suitable for my daughter. She tried Ala-Teen and didn't like it. She didn't even think I was an alcoholic, so she initially resisted all of this and I think right now she still doesn't really know what to think. I really just want to try a...

New Member Question · mrphunny

Hello. I'm looking for some help and advice. My wife is an alcoholic and I knew nothing of this disease growing up. No one in my family suffered from it. So as I've been with her, I've come to learn all about the lying, the suspicion, the pain, the embaressment, etc. I didn't know what to do except try to be a...

speck31 · speck31

So I haven't posted in awhile - but I still read as much as I can and am going to f2f meetings when I am in town. I asked my exAB for one month of no contact after dating for over a year - off and on. He is a binger and can go for long periods of time without any alcohol/drugs but when he starts he goes for awhile. I...

Jennifer · Jennifer

This morning when I woke up and looked out the window I saw my neighbor had a tarp that had been covering a leaking skylight flapping inthe wind hanging down the side of her house. I watched it flap for awhile thinking of how it reminded me of the pictures of Christo's artistic events like draping fabric...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

IF IT KEEPS GETTIN' BETTER, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO! I AM GETTING BACK ON TRACK & SLEEPING PRETTY WELL! FOR ALL OF THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW ME, I AM AN INSOMNIAC & HAVE TROUBLE SLEEPING. BUT TODAY I AM DOING GREAT! IT IS NICE TO SIT AT THE COMPUTER & HAVE SOMETHING POSITIVE TO SAY. MY RELA...

Nicki · Nicki

My boyfriend came back from treatment in April of this year. After his return he was sober (and still is), but things between us changed as well. for the last three months he never gave me the feeling I was genuinely loved, he doesn't return my calls, there is no quality time and he just sits in the house fe...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Love myself???? Is that enough?????? (Preview) I've been told many times, as I've lamented about the lack of love in my life, that I had to learn to love myself. I have to admit to being skeptical about this. Can I do it, yes, have I loved myself in the past, absolutely. Now? Maybe not as much, but I dont' loathe myself. But it has never felt like enoug...	mjhyankees	8	1169	Jul 28, 2010 by ythannah
	struggling with resentment.... (Preview) My wife is for the most part a non drinking, alcoholic behaving person who creates tension, unease, financial hardship and insecurity in our household. Bad enough it gets to me but I worry about my daughter as well. I realize this isn't new to anyone else here, but I am so resentful and bitter toward he...	mjhyankees	3	1372	Jul 28, 2010 by kitty
	No higher power..... (Preview) Funny my first time through alanon, about 10 years ago (was involved for 5 years or so), my higher power felt real, was a source of comfort and I believed in him. This time, I'm not feeling it. I feel abandoned by my HP, or that he's ineffectual. It's such a part of recovery that I dont' know how to move on w...	mjhyankees	12	1025	Jul 28, 2010 by kitty
	MIP Support... (Preview) Aloha Family...I've got another opportunity to talk with a local representative regarding a legislative proposal I've mentioned before that seeks fairness, honesty and justice on the issues regarding alcohol in my small community. I've been at this for a while and like I've been taught in Al-Ano...	Jerry F	6	972	Jul 28, 2010 by Katy
	weaning off effexor/Eden update (Preview) yuck. This is tough. I am emotionally fine. But I tell ya, this is a drag. I got to none but was not feeling right. Doc told me to do it more gradual. Woke up feeling icky so took some. Will get over it yet! (c: All is great here, animals are all fat, Peaches horse looks like a yellow cow....Pony Pete had a bad cu...	lyndebi	8	1088	Jul 28, 2010 by Katy
	Two sons (Preview) My adult sons live next to me and Son 1 is an alcoholic while Son 2 who is a Type I diabetic is addicted to prescribed pain meds and abuses them by snorting. By the end of the month, he runs out of pills and does whatever he can to purchase street drugs. Yesterday Son 2took money from Son 1 without asking ......	Greenvalleygal	11	880	Jul 27, 2010 by buick23
	RE: SPONSORSHIP (Preview) Hey all, My name is Maryann. I am a 27 year old female currently residing and living in Wisconsin. I am a semi-new member of Al-Anon in my town, and I am looking for a sponsor online or offline, as long as I can find one in the coming future. Although my group is very lovely and very nice, I just dont know, can...	freespiritedbird83	1	624	Jul 27, 2010 by buick23
	Help, I Need Some Advice, Daughter, is Asking Me for a Loan! She`s now changed her tune! (Preview) This would not be the first time I have given her a loan. I changed the subject today when she asked in her indirect way of asking me. I keep reminding myself of her awful she treated me for the last year BUT I feel terrible she says she`ll pay whoever gives the loan back $100 a week. I know she`ll moan and groa...	Samsgram	7	1564	Jul 27, 2010 by Samsgram
	Laughter in recovery (Preview) A big thing that changed for me in recovery was my sense of humor. I mean, it was in there and would come out sometimes before the program, but I had no ability to laugh at myself and took everything soooo seriously. It's been a really amazing experience to find humor in things - even in recovery. Last n...	White Rabbit	9	1895	Jul 27, 2010 by Maize
	TRYING TO STAY STRONG ,AMONG THE CRAP. (Preview) hi family. i dont post often,but im with you everday. well AH has just come out of hospital,he now has hernia,ulcer on the oesophagus,plus a bleed in the stomach. im not counting on this being his bottom,who knows. plus it was our ruby wedding anniversary yesterday. it went unoticed,not one card . ho...	ollie	9	889	Jul 27, 2010 by ollie
	Todays reading in Courage to Change! To identify the illusion of? What ? (Preview) For me everything lol, Jeez it has took me an age to get this wow, I have been wondering how to I get the trust back? And suddenly it hit me, did I really ever have any? Nope not really, so no wonder I can't get it back I am looking for something I only imagined I had, I am so lucky that I can start from scratch now...	Katy	3	3048	Jul 27, 2010 by Maize
	Feeling the loss & feeling guilty (Preview) (((Family))), July 22 is never a good day for me. On that day 9 years ago I lost my father. What a hero he was to me. On that day 2 years ago I lost my beloved Tim. The two men I loved most in the world, lost on the same day 9 years apart. They are both in a better place, but God do I miss them terribly. I have bee...	Karilynn	18	1285	Jul 27, 2010 by Gailey
	PLEASE HELP ME AS I AM DROWNING IN THEIR LIQUID WORLD (Preview) I am so lost at the moment..I sit here and know that in the other room two of the most important people in my life are killing themselves and I can't do a thing to save either of them at all. I raised one and promised to always keep him safe and today he is 25 and has only been sober for 18 hrs in the last 30 days. I...	myself	8	1199	Jul 27, 2010 by myself
	I need some ESH, Please (Preview) I haven't been here in a reallly long time, and can't get to a f2f meeting for a few days. I could really use some ESH today folks. For some reason, I am suddenly obsessing about the A in my life - about whether or not he is drinking, etc. I am literally making myself crazy. It has been a very long time since...	TLM	7	776	Jul 27, 2010 by Jerry F
	Everything changes in recovery ! (Preview) As a result of doing the 4th step (with a sponsor) all my relationships are changing. Friendships that I thought were mutual aren't. My whole view of the world has changed and my focus has gone from people pleasing and not feeling worthy to focus and feeling that I too deserve to have a life, goals and fe...	maresie	9	1073	Jul 26, 2010 by Andrea12
	new here (Preview) I'm new and reluctant to post this.. 2 alcoholics in my family and I'm a mom in grad school. I am unable to attend alanon meetings. Is there a forum with more privacy?	pax	10	817	Jul 26, 2010 by Jennifer
	Teens!!!!UGH!!!! (Preview) ((((((((((Family of Choice))))))) I'm trying to let go of some control in my life and I am in need of some help. I have been struggling with this for a while now and am at a loss with what to do. I have 2 teen boys 18 and 16. I have been a single parent for 2 1/2 years and have done 90% of the yard work, house work, l...	shadow1	10	964	Jul 26, 2010 by Andrea12
	Geographical moves (Preview) Ash got me to thinking about geographical moves when it comes to the alcoholic and that "wherever we go, there we are". I have made several geographical moves due to alcoholics in my life, and in each case it has never worked, just from the standpoint of "fixing the alcoholic situatio...	Overcome	6	1236	Jul 26, 2010 by Aloha
	Need more practice with alanon. (Preview) Rough weekend. I tried to practice my alanon by letting go and detaching. When hubby went to the bar Friday for the night. I did ok but I wish I could have just said ok see you later. NO! I had to get in my head going a million miles an hour. I didn't yell but I said "sweet" manipulative things like...	miss_carol	2	940	Jul 26, 2010 by glad lee
	Need to vent in a safe place... (Preview) Need to vent. There is one thing that I am so sick and tired of about this whole sickness. It's the isolation. I just talked to my husband's father and he told me that the family got together for a bonfire last night at the family camp. It was just an impromptu thing and I KNOW no one meant to hurt my feelings....	looking_for_peace	6	977	Jul 26, 2010 by Aloha
	Master answer for all questions and concerns provided free of charge (Preview) The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype. Some of the symptoms include: 1. Loss of direction 2. Foul vocal emission...	glad	2	837	Jul 26, 2010 by kitty
	Very exhausted (Preview) I've been married to my AH for 21 yrs and everyone is right it only get's worse. I am always angry, my poor children were raised in this Alcoholic Angry Home. I always felt like i can handle this. I am 42 now and now all my 3 children have children and do not like that i feel like i am reliving my childhood. ...	raid3rgirl	2	912	Jul 26, 2010 by Tattyhead
	Daughter Asks Me To Ask Her Grandmother For Some Money (Preview) First let me explain.. My mother has some money that she has on occassion given to my daughter and children in advance when they needed something and said it was part of their inheritance. Although recently my mother doesnt seem to generous with it but she can be a softie when someone presents a situati...	Samsgram	11	1283	Jul 25, 2010 by Diva
	It will sound (read) lame, but I am at a loss........... (Preview) I have been married to this man who has been smoking pot everyday . He also drinks alcohol 3 to 4 times a week. So many promises, "when the children will be born-I will quit", "when the kids are old enough to understand- I will quit" all unkept. Its your fault that I smoke and drink.....	Harvest	10	1058	Jul 25, 2010 by ythannah
	My Son (Preview) Hello Friends, My son decided no military (thank you God), don't misunderstand I think the people who fight every day to save our country are above all of us and I have great respect for them. I just don't want my son that far gone for than long (selfish but I don't care). I thought my son was doing drugs. I...	Andrea12	3	892	Jul 25, 2010 by Andrea12
	Confused about "getting out of the way" (Preview) Hi, I posted about a week ago that my AH moved out while I was at work. He's still gone - he is living in a very scuzzy apartment on an air mattress. Anyway, we have seen each other several times (just last night went to an open talk together), and we talk and text every day, several times a day. He says he need...	stopandchat	10	1052	Jul 25, 2010 by Jennifer
	Lost & Confused (Preview) I saw this Forum and I am new at this. Didn't know if I should even be doing this, but I have kept too much bottled inside and getting more confused if I am losing my sanity or not and maybe some suggestions and opinions. Been with boyfriend for 4 yrs. He drinks approx 4 glasses of Vodka each evening. Gets...	BrokenBunny	8	948	Jul 25, 2010 by ythannah
	another wonderful birthday... (Preview) Another really nice birthday again this year! I enjoyed so much being with my husband & traveling 60 miles to see a movie & get a good lunch @ Red Lobster yesterday! When I got back on the computer this morning, I counted about 13 messages from my FB friends wishing me a happy birthday! I wish I ha...	Hoot Nanny	8	849	Jul 25, 2010 by hotrod
	Take what you like and leave the rest! (Preview) I'm so glad we can take what we like and leave the rest. I've often said alanon is what organized religion-( First Baptist or Methodist Church or whatever) should hope to be. I recently encountered somene who had some good things to say but said it as if they has "arrived" at this all knowing s...	glad	3	1964	Jul 25, 2010 by Jerry F
	Defeated and in Despair and pain (Preview) Hi everyone, I hate feeling so low and depressed but I can not help how I feel. I feel so drained of all energy and emotion I have nothing left to give, it has been a long time since I have felt this bad and I don't want to feel like this, usually I am hopeful, happy and have hope and faith. I usualy am the one to...	Grace M	10	1209	Jul 25, 2010 by Grace M
	another long day (Preview) My friends mom's memorial service was today and it was beautiful. I'm glad I went. I sat there and really listened to what the preacher had to say even though I am not christian. I was right where I was supposed to be. My bf now needs eye surgery which will take place tomorrow because of an injury that happe...	buick23	5	747	Jul 25, 2010 by xeno59
	Thank you (Preview) ((((Family)))), Just a great big THANK YOU for all your love & prayers these past few days. I felt your support uplifting me. I know Tim & Dad were looking down and smiling on all the love. Your messages of love, support and wisdom brought tears to my eyes. You are the best of the best. I coun...	Karilynn	3	683	Jul 25, 2010 by Andrea12
	Big let down! (Preview) So in hindsight i see that in moving the family back to our hometown has helped relieve some stress in that I have extended family support and friends to go to with my 4 year old son if dry AH pulls something. On the other hand I just realized that part of my depression stems from the fact that i expected my &q...	Ash	4	1130	Jul 25, 2010 by Overcome
	i love him so much...it's so difficult...even though he is in recovery (Preview) hi... my A is my husband.. it has been very a rough ride..even thoug it has been only 3 and a half years since we have been married.. i knew him for 3 years before that but only saw his addiction on my weddign night for the first time.. he has been in recovery and slipped many a times... this time it has been abo...	this too shall pass	12	1020	Jul 25, 2010 by Bettina
	need advice on dealing with 'him in recovery' (Preview) hi, some of you may ahve read my earliers post.. i can't say enough how glad i am to have found you guys... i needed som wdvice.. my A in in recovery... he attends meetings and is away from usage.. someoen helped me understand it is difficult for him too.. he has been behaving very different and detached th...	this too shall pass	9	929	Jul 24, 2010 by White Rabbit
	I Need A Solomon..... (Preview) Our family has lived with over ten years dealing with my AS now 30 years old, you all are familiar with what is involved with this, DUI's, lost jobs, trying to keep a roof over his head so that he won't be on the streets, thinking that he would come to his senses at some point. Well, about 5 weeks ago a crisi...	DreamsOver	7	1004	Jul 24, 2010 by xeno59
	Please, anyone... I need wisdom on a marijuana using daughter, aged 15. (Preview) She lied again and came home late. I am responsible for her as she is underage. Please. I know marijuana is not addictive, but it is a major time-waster and a social drug. It will only attract other pot-smokers to her. What do I do? How will I cope with the future? She always attracts the most troubled...	punkydoodah	14	1189	Jul 24, 2010 by adonaisgirl
	Dating (Preview) Hey everybody, I need some advice. Hopefully I'll get some advice in an al-anon meeting I'm going to later today. So here's the deal. I'm dating this guy. He's currently in a halfway/recovery house in Wilmington NC (about 3.5hrs from me). Today is our one month anniversary, I guess you could call it th...	fenderfem09	7	762	Jul 24, 2010 by kitty
	Laughter can sometimes be the best medicine! (Preview) I was reading today's Courage to Change and it really hit home for me today. I too have discovered my sense of humor again... It truly has been wonderful. It feels great to bring forth a hoot of laughter from my lips. It has also been a great reminder to myself to not take myself or my life so seriously....	Sweet Stanley	5	1002	Jul 24, 2010 by hotrod
	Thanks To All My Solomn's Out There..... (Preview) God bless each of you for the response. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Remember us in your prayers.	DreamsOver	1	810	Jul 24, 2010 by lyndebi
	Feeling it and lacking patience (Preview) I have been trying really hard to work on me and my recovery. I have a sponsor, been going to F2F and chat meetings and coming here. I am still working on step one with my sponsor for about 5 months now. However, my head keeps telling me to get out of this marriage. Logic is saying walk away, you deserve bette...	Goodtillitsbad	5	1202	Jul 23, 2010 by GailMichelle
	Meeting Leaders, we would like you to please make newbies feel more welcome! We lost a member. (Preview) I referred a friend of mine to the online meeting tonight and she reported to me an unsettling experience. We don't expect royalty or being treated like queens and I realize you are human. But, please, please, please, try to be a little more welcoming, warm, and friendly, when greeting 'guests"...	Carol_Lynn	2	722	Jul 23, 2010 by Data395
	New here...the lies, how do you handle it...? (Preview) I know I need to get to an Al Anon meeting (I have never been). But with two children, full time school and part time work it seems to hit a back burner... Anways...the biggest issue I have trying to deal with my husband's alcoholism is the lies. He is on and off again with drinking and is trying his best. ...	kat42	9	1299	Jul 23, 2010 by Holly09
	He's getting a full time job! (Preview) My exah/bf is getting a full time back breaking job. A job finally. Maybe now he will send me child support. Problem is, he won't shut up about money! I hate talking about money. Talking about money does not solve my money issues. It just brings me down. I realize if have more going out than coming in...	QOD	9	930	Jul 23, 2010 by maresie
	Detachment / Bulemia? support (Preview) I know the focus needs to be on me, but as much as I've tried, I'm blowin up! I have a 19 year old neice who is always in a not-so-pleasant mood. She's a late bloomer (never went to prom, never has had a boyfriend, hasn't learned to drive). She's beautiful as far as "Hollywood" standards go.......	RoseODAT	5	866	Jul 23, 2010 by RoseODAT
	Angry with wife....trying to let it go.... (Preview) Suffice it to say my wife is a dry drunk as well as an ACA. She exhibits all the behaviors of an alcoholic. Today, due to my work schedule, I couldn't take my daughter to a show she wanted to see badly. I asked my wife who I knew was free this evening and received an "I dont' know"....I asked, wh...	mjhyankees	5	1001	Jul 23, 2010 by maresie
	When will I feel better??? (Preview) Former Alanon and ACA participant....50 years old, miserable marriage and feeling the most unhappy I've ever felt in my life. Divorce is NOT an option at the moment, may be in a few years (I'll explain some other time). My problem is I've lost my happiness and my hope. (I do like what I read from someb...	mjhyankees	12	1012	Jul 23, 2010 by ythannah
	I finally found the courage to attend a meeting in my own country (Preview) Hi all I have been in Al-Anon for about three months. When I started I was in England as a student. I went home to Norway almost three weeks ago and was very nervous about going to a Norwegian meeting. The only meeting I knew of in my area was a meeting especially for adult children of alcoholics. I didnt go...	Cosmos	3	916	Jul 23, 2010 by Katy
	Chatroom (Preview) Can anyone get into the acoa and alanon chatrooms? I am not able to get in wondering if anyone else was able to get in. thanks	LarryWhiteford	2	707	Jul 22, 2010 by abbyal
	Forcing things that don't work (Preview) My AH and I had a very good talk last night about patience (one of my favorite topics - NOT) and forcing things to work that don't. I know that I definitely want what I want when I want it. Period. And there have been so many times that when I didn't get what I wanted when I wanted it, I figured out a way to man...	White Rabbit	6	1263	Jul 22, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Reality Check.... (Preview) I'm hurt and its my own fault. No I didn't do a quicky abandon my spouse and capture another alcoholic for a quick attempt at altering but maybe what I did was...is just as crazy. Any of you out there go to those punch, kick, dance and jump around high energy exercise classes? Okay now you know why I'm h...	Jerry F	14	1550	Jul 21, 2010 by Andrea12
	accepting (Preview) Taking to AD last evening she sounded soo down.Talking so about her situation.Wanted so much to fly up there wrap her in a nice soft baby blanket and bring her home and tuck her in. Always rescued her cant do it anymore.This time it is up to her.She said the last time she was thinking her and ex would get bac...	mackey dee	3	849	Jul 21, 2010 by Rocky38
	I expected a miracle! (Preview) As usual when I came here a few weeks ago I was looking for a magic fix for my A adult son. So far when I post on the board your so disappointethat I don't go to no f2f meetings. I appreciated all the responses on the board. Im reading the brochures, sayings and all. when I go to the online meetings, I don't fe...	okwitt	12	1202	Jul 21, 2010 by nmike
	How to work the 12 steps (Preview) Hi all, I'm working the steps - without a sponsor. I do plan to finish my work on steps 4, 5, 6 with a sponsor though. Anyway, I've been kind of skipping around. For instance, I've been making direct amends, but, haven't completed previous steps. Is this detrimental? Thanks!	stopandchat	7	2903	Jul 21, 2010 by stopandchat
	Books for Teenage Children of Alcoholics? (Preview) I did a google search and saw some out there, but none that seemed suitable for my daughter. She tried Ala-Teen and didn't like it. She didn't even think I was an alcoholic, so she initially resisted all of this and I think right now she still doesn't really know what to think. I really just want to try a...	FlyingSquirrel	4	1197	Jul 21, 2010 by FlyingSquirrel
	New Member Question (Preview) Hello. I'm looking for some help and advice. My wife is an alcoholic and I knew nothing of this disease growing up. No one in my family suffered from it. So as I've been with her, I've come to learn all about the lying, the suspicion, the pain, the embaressment, etc. I didn't know what to do except try to be a...	mrphunny	15	1088	Jul 21, 2010 by Aloha
	4 months no contact (Preview) So I haven't posted in awhile - but I still read as much as I can and am going to f2f meetings when I am in town. I asked my exAB for one month of no contact after dating for over a year - off and on. He is a binger and can go for long periods of time without any alcohol/drugs but when he starts he goes for awhile. I...	speck31	8	1633	Jul 21, 2010 by speck31
	Flapping in the wind (Preview) This morning when I woke up and looked out the window I saw my neighbor had a tarp that had been covering a leaking skylight flapping inthe wind hanging down the side of her house. I watched it flap for awhile thinking of how it reminded me of the pictures of Christo's artistic events like draping fabric...	Jennifer	5	966	Jul 21, 2010 by Karilynn
	If it keeps gettin' better... (Preview) IF IT KEEPS GETTIN' BETTER, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO! I AM GETTING BACK ON TRACK & SLEEPING PRETTY WELL! FOR ALL OF THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW ME, I AM AN INSOMNIAC & HAVE TROUBLE SLEEPING. BUT TODAY I AM DOING GREAT! IT IS NICE TO SIT AT THE COMPUTER & HAVE SOMETHING POSITIVE TO SAY. MY RELA...	Hoot Nanny	5	770	Jul 21, 2010 by Karilynn
	loving someone sometimes means letting go, but this really hurts (Preview) My boyfriend came back from treatment in April of this year. After his return he was sober (and still is), but things between us changed as well. for the last three months he never gave me the feeling I was genuinely loved, he doesn't return my calls, there is no quality time and he just sits in the house fe...	Nicki	9	1686	Jul 21, 2010 by Nicki
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.