Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Evian · Evian

Today was pretty much like any other day. AH started drinking by 11 am. I just went on with my day, let him do whatever like usual.. Later on in the afternoon with our 8yr old daughter sitting there at the kitchen table, he says to me.. " tell me the truth.. are we fighting a losing battle? can we survi...

Hayes · Hayes

I am so frustrated this morning. What in the hell is he doing again? Okay so its two days after my f2f meeting and what is sticking in my head is the first part of step 1. So I am sitting here trying to remind myself I am powerless. There is nothing I can say or do that's going to change what's happening right no...

B_L · B_L

My girlfriend is an alcoholic, and while she has been in recovery lately, she slipped into a pretty bad relapse this last week or so... I'm sure I'm enabling her to drink, but I don't have enough perspective on things to see how I'm doing it. So let me run down our usual daily routine for y'all, and hop...

swisfun1 · swisfun1

First time writing here but I really need some extra support. My boyfriend has been relapsing for the past year and is now at my house. For the past few days he has been drinking to the point of passing out for a few hours then waking up to drink more. I am emotionally exhausted. I keep telling myself th...

SarahRock · SarahRock

Hi, I'm very conerned about my husband and his drinking. I'm not sure if it should be classified as problem drinking, but it's becoming a problem for me. I worry that my perception is sweked since I don't drink at all - maybe I'm overreacting and have no frame of reference? I don't know. I do know that my...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

It feels sooooo contradictory - maybe I'm not going about this the right way? As I am learning to take care of myself over here, holding boundaries to protect me and the kids, practice loving detachment all while biting my tongue...how do I also let down my guard enough to be affectionate with my AH? I...

knowmadic · knowmadic

if this were a movie, i would run to the airport tomorrow morning and tell him i loved him and that i didn't want him to go and to stay and "let's work things out," but life isn't a movie. life is real. and i just had surgery yesterday to try to conceive with a man who has an addiction problem and i...

athabascan indian · athabascan indian

HI everyone ur thoughts pls..... I was online reading info about emotional abuse last night. Dont know how it came up, Creator I suppose Started to cry out to the Creator, I think becuz I'm in denial that I'm living it today. TO ME!!....how cud that be?!Never thought I wud find myself even askn the qu...

faith84 · faith84

I am new here and this is my first post. I figured it would be best to start by laying it all out on the table. My boyfriend of a year is a drug addict. He is the most amazing man I have ever met. I want to spend my life with him. He is the hardest worker I know, always attentive to my needs, always complimenting me...

delhommefan · delhommefan

I don't know if I really belong here but Al-Anon was suggested to me by a counselor a couple years ago after my ex-husband and I separated and of course, I never listened. Its been 2.5 years since I left him and I still think I am struggling with a lot of issues as a result of our marriage. My ex is not viole...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Last night was the worst night I have had so far. Was being tempted almost beyond my endurance. Here I have a contract, a home to go to, time to get all the way out, owners are very accepting of me and my animals, but I, if I did not have all my dogs in my bed, and love my HP, I kept thinking how I had enough pills to...

Rora · Rora

A while back, while sitting in church, my pastor began to talk about marital love and the commitment of it. He talked about in our society we tend to want the "instant gratification" love, that feels good all the time, that is based on high energy, high reward and not so much on committment a...

McFripp · McFripp

I after years (possibly as far back as 10 years ago, for sure 8) of knowing of a drinking problem my wife had, finally after threating separation or divorce for the past 3 years took the step this past Sept 2010. I was unfamiliar with Al Anon, no direction put was frustrated at seeing her abuse herself wit...

clep · clep

So last night my A let's me know he wants to do more than sleep for once. I was immediately irate. It took everything in me not to scream at him. He voices that he desires me, but does not show that in the slightest. He also voices that he prefers that "sometimes" he chooses to pleasure himsel...

kath · kath

I havent been coming to the board for a while. I have relapsed. I have been in pain for about two weeks now. I have been to a meeting, talked to my sponsor, and read literature. Have been doing the "act as if" or "fake it till you make it". I am still focusing on the incident that happe...

knowmadic · knowmadic

hi, everyone. I just wanted to share my good news with you guys. I separated from my husband almost a month ago when we got in a fight while he was drunk and I ended up calling the cops because of his violent behavior. i have realized my part in acting as the provoker and enabler and have just tried to fix m...

cherish deneen · cherish deneen

Im new here to hilo just 3 months from seattle. I have been drinking a long time and though I sometimes have a good time. The badtimes are more frequent then ever. Ive always drank to have a good time so it makes not alot of sense to continue if im not doing just that. I am an alcoholic and may be looking for a...

RunnerMom · RunnerMom

I am married to an alcoholic. In the past 3 months he has been to outpatient rehab, relapsed badly, promised he wanted and would go to inpatient rehab and after backing out 3 times in 2 weeks I told him he had to leave bc I would not live with him anymore as things were. Long story short, we argued, he assau...

clep · clep

I have been feeling quite strained as I work so much, do a "How it works" Study on Thurs nights, my home group on Wednesday nights, and a Step study out of "Paths to Recovery" on Saturday mornings. I also volunteer about eight hours a week in various places. I am very strapped for...

karlie764 · karlie764

My husband is an alcoholic. Over the past 4 months he has been in and out of treatment facilities. He has not worked for a year and a half. He was recently placed on medications to help with Major Depressive Disorder and stopped that when he went on a bender on Monday, February 7. I do not know what to do...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello, Again, it's been way too long since I've posted, and if I'm going to be honest, way too long since I've been here at all. About 3 months ago, I moved all of my abf's belongings out into the hallway of our apt building (which is our storage area). I hurt every day, and miss him, but I don't miss the cha...

KimmyJo · KimmyJo

Well the first week of the AH home from rehab,Laid out all of my boundaries LOUD & CLEAR. #1 We talked about them and within hours, he broke thru my boundary. Not understanding a word I just said...UGGGG. They were important boundaries regarding contact with my children... I told him, he needed t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well it's been a long time since I have been here. Lots and lots of things have changed for me and I wish I could say life has gotten easier but in reality it is getting harder and harder. I believe this is mainly because I'm capable of paying attention now and taking action to do something about situatio...

member922 · member922

Well, I guess I kind of knew this would happen. Just because the smoking by ABF is not done right in front of me, it doesn't mean it's not affecting me. I don't think this is going to work as far as a future with him goes. Our opposite schedules and his constant smoking makes me see the bleak future. Ugh. ...

yuckfaster · yuckfaster

Hi everyone -- I need some advice here. My live-in gf is a serious alcoholic who also has an intense anger problem. This toxic combination is compounded by bouts of paranoia that accompany her drinking. Most days, her drinking makes her extremely comabtive and accusatory. If we are at a restaurant...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Owners were very nice. Worked hard fixing a few things, took some junk away. I was laying on a feather bed with a feather comforter and a feather pillow in the cabin. Reading Leo Buscaglia about challenges, joy and something else. I took notes, and soaked it in. Was waiting for the owners to show up. Anyw...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hi - just checking in - I am new to my recovery but I held a boundary and I am proud of myself so I wanted to share. I had set a boundary that AH could not go out when I was to go to work (I work the overnight shift). I told him he's been unsafe when caring for the children in the past and if I am not there I do not trus...

Karleyb75 · Karleyb75

So, I am new to this message board. I've never really talked much about my situation, but I feel like this may help me to figure things out. I am 25 years old. I have lived my whole life with addicts. My dad has been a drug addict for the majority of his life. He has been in and out of rehabs several times and has...

seeking1 · seeking1

Just wondering when there is love or if thier is too much love.Situation when it fitss when somone is falling down in an adiction and hit rock bottom .do we regret ourselves for loving too much or not enoughlove any opinions on this. Also what about controlling love and how far to push it?

Loupiness · Loupiness

I've posted previously that my 17.5 yr old son is staying with a friend. The mom offered for him to stay there, essentially a decision made without my direct consent, other than I did say that if he couldn't live by my rules he couldn't live with me. My ex said the same. Though it is not the best place, it...

blga · blga

Hello - I am new to this board but have attended some alanon meetings in the past. Married 15 years, husband never drank until year 9, has been drinking most of the last 6 with 6 treatments during that time. We have finally just separated which is what I have "threatened" for 6 years but neve...

B_L · B_L

Howdy all, I need some guidance. My girlfriend is an alcoholic, and on again off again in recovery. I want nothing more than to marry her and raise a family (eventually), but have decided it's a bad idea until she can get her drinking under control. I don't even know if she can go nine days without a drink,...

Jerry F · Jerry F

It was sometime before that date that I came into Al-Anon angry and sick. My spouse was in the other room with her new sponsor. She was new to AA and I was angry, resentful and jealous. She dared to have a group of people do what it was that I could not...change her drinking style, habit, addiction. Her...

maresie · maresie

I had a number of resentments against a now former colleague of mine. He left the job I am currently working at 3 months ago. Of course I still held onto those resentments and polished them up. While I knew he was seriously neglecting himself I most of the time fell for his notion that he was a highly educ...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am meeting the owners today up there. My throat is blocked. ugh. deep breaths. am so nervous. They have sounded great thru email and on the phone. I am hoping once this hurdle is done I will feel better. Limbo is NOT for me. Need to make a home, rest, heal and learn to be happy again. New Kingdom Hall is exci...

MVP · MVP

I don't know why but maybe I am doing too much. Expecting too much. My 21 year old AD is in recovery, living home, doing her program as best I can tell. But she seems to shut me out, be offended that I may not trust her, seems annoyed I request a text and have her check in. She does live in our home, drive our car...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

Well it seems moving on happens gradually and when we least expect it. After 7 years (3 1/2 of them sober, but not sure how he is now), manipulation, lies and cheating that come along with it, not to mention suspected sociopathy by his part.....I've finally snapped out of it the day (Last Monday) he wa...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Heard that in my Al Anon meeting tonight. Wow, really took my breath away. I posted the other day about how I have focused completely on my wife and not at all on myself. Why did she say that? Why did she do that? Why didn't she say/do that? It's been that way since we met. It's a wonder she married me. One of m...

Debilyn · Debilyn

People sorta quietly disappear. Just wondered.... deb

DreamXL · DreamXL

Is anyone else having a problem getting into the meeting room?

Katy · Katy

Doooooooooo do do do, yep thats where I am at, for me it's all the little nitty gritty things,like making decisions and not getting into the whole head convo with myself thingy, and also I have a terrible habit of always wanting to justify myself, gotta do more practice on using simple solutions for com...

Jozie · Jozie

Soooo... Tomorrow is D Day... I guess it has been on my mind more today then it has, but it hasn't been an Easy week so far and its only Monday :( I know that I will be Fine, or at least that is what I keep telling myself...but a Few Glitches in my Expectations left me feeling depleated a touch... Saturday afte...

casa · casa

I have an event tonight at my kiddo's school so I most likely won't be here to chair tonight's meeting. It would be great if someone could cover for me. Thanks!

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

So I have a long drive to work every day and my son was with me. I could tell from his body language (I am an expert in that department) that he was upset about having to stay at his step-dad's house and I really wanted to help get to the bottom of why. I asked him about what goes on there, if his step dad (the fa...

Katy · Katy

I was dealing with, I think it would be fair to say I was in my late forties and only through haunting these boards and my thirst for perfection and my huge ego, and out of control will, did I start to know, that now I did know although I cannot change the past, I can certainly change my future, at the moment I a...

Debilyn · Debilyn

HP hangs onto me tight. I met this wonderful lady who adopted my littlest Shi Tzu/Poo. The gal has a huge place and two other ones she rescued. Her grandaughter fell in love with little Jellyhead. Jelly LOVES them too. She sleeps in their bed with them The gal has money so Jelly won't want for anything. Re...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I am hoping someone can relate. I was divorced in June of 2010. When I received the official papers, I did not feel the "joy of relief" like a friend said I would feel. Looking back, I think I felt nothing. So I must have suppressed my emotions. I began a high stress job in August. I have a ve...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

After a very pleasant 1 week "visit" from my estranged AW after she left rehab, I am noticing the addiction creep back into her life. I should clarify I am using the term "visit" metaphorically, she did not move back in with me, but we did things as a family where she was presen...

freeagain · freeagain

I was in a meeting the other day where a woman was sharing that she created a boundry and enforced it. She was feeling proud of herself for enforcing and following thru with her boundry but at a loss as to what to do now.... I remember so well being there. I made the boundry "if you drink then you will no...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I got up early this morning and decided not to try to eke out those extra few minutes of sleep in my room which was still dark. Decided to take the girls (Chloe and Sadie) for a walk in the dark and they were up for it. Drove down to our usual walking area and as we were walking I thought about how dark the area...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

EMG's post (just before this one) really rang true for me. I am still married to my AH. After more than 10 years I sit here and wonder why I am letting it continue. About 3 years of heavy drinking, 4 years of detached sobriety, 3 more years of heavy drinking, lying and financial hardship, and now we are e...

Evian · Evian

I was suppose to take my AH to get an MRI done this evening. The hospital we were going to does MRIs 24/7, and his appt. was scheduled for 12:15am. He wanted me to go with him, he said it was to support him, I knew it was because he wanted to drink. He told me I should lay down for a nap, seeing as I had to be up late....

stephaniej · stephaniej

Someone posted earlier today, or yesterday, that once we attend a face-to-face meeting, and we start to absorb the program like a sponge, that we should not let the sponge dry out. So, so true. I am a dried up crusty old sponge. I have been on an intermittent backslide for weeks now, and it culminated i...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

What do I do with me? LOL. Seriously, I am very tender right now and feeling vulnerable do to a bad tooth ache that is getting taken care of next week... and other asundry things that us Alanonics do to ourselves, and I just want some kind and gentle feed back on how to keep me busy while he is working on his...

KimmyJo · KimmyJo

Well, I have been new to this forum for the past 28 days. I have upside down, mixed up, confussed, anxiety, depressed, lost guilty,anger and whatever messed up feelings a chick could have..lol I have been working the program for 28 days & 28 nights. Godzilla (AH) just came home today from intensiv...

emg · emg

I've read a lot about those who have called it quits while the significant other is still actively drinking. I guess I kinda did this, but it happened to be the turning point for him. It seems something has finally switched for him and he now wants recovery and is actively seeking it out. My problem is I fe...

mexigrl64 · mexigrl64

Hi, I'm glad I found this board as it helps to "talk" to others that have been at this point. My 76 year old father checked into rehab yesterday - they say the average is a 5 day stay. After that, hopefully, he will attend AA. I went to Barnes and Noble today to see if I could find books about reco...

shimo · shimo

The appointment that was preventing me from chairing the Monday a.m. Al-Anon Meeting has just been changed to the afternoon. With this change in scheduling, I will now be able to chair the meeting this morning. See you there.

parfait624 · parfait624

I know that the only way to achieve my goals is to work on myself, but I can't help but to be annoyed sometimes. I am annoyed with my AH because it's not fair. It's not fair that he so easy walks in and out of my life. How he can say things to me like he never loved me, or he needs no contact with me out of no where...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

It's becoming apparent that one of my biggest issues is my tendency to focus on others instead of myself. Specifically, my wife. But this is a problem that I've had long before I met my wife. It's only through Al Anon and through therapy that I've realized how much this is holding me back. I think being a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hoping I'm doing everything right (Preview) Today was pretty much like any other day. AH started drinking by 11 am. I just went on with my day, let him do whatever like usual.. Later on in the afternoon with our 8yr old daughter sitting there at the kitchen table, he says to me.. " tell me the truth.. are we fighting a losing battle? can we survi...	Evian	4	870	Feb 13, 2011 by White Rabbit
	I am powerless (Preview) I am so frustrated this morning. What in the hell is he doing again? Okay so its two days after my f2f meeting and what is sticking in my head is the first part of step 1. So I am sitting here trying to remind myself I am powerless. There is nothing I can say or do that's going to change what's happening right no...	Hayes	12	1076	Feb 13, 2011 by Myrtie
	I Want to Stop Enabling, But Don't Know How (Preview) My girlfriend is an alcoholic, and while she has been in recovery lately, she slipped into a pretty bad relapse this last week or so... I'm sure I'm enabling her to drink, but I don't have enough perspective on things to see how I'm doing it. So let me run down our usual daily routine for y'all, and hop...	B_L	9	1373	Feb 12, 2011 by glad lee
	need some guidance (Preview) First time writing here but I really need some extra support. My boyfriend has been relapsing for the past year and is now at my house. For the past few days he has been drinking to the point of passing out for a few hours then waking up to drink more. I am emotionally exhausted. I keep telling myself th...	swisfun1	3	758	Feb 12, 2011 by suave75
	New Here - Very Uncertain (Preview) Hi, I'm very conerned about my husband and his drinking. I'm not sure if it should be classified as problem drinking, but it's becoming a problem for me. I worry that my perception is sweked since I don't drink at all - maybe I'm overreacting and have no frame of reference? I don't know. I do know that my...	SarahRock	6	849	Feb 12, 2011 by suave75
	how do you reconcile the loneliness? (Preview) It feels sooooo contradictory - maybe I'm not going about this the right way? As I am learning to take care of myself over here, holding boundaries to protect me and the kids, practice loving detachment all while biting my tongue...how do I also let down my guard enough to be affectionate with my AH? I...	newleaf66	9	1354	Feb 12, 2011 by likemyheart
	facing reality... (Preview) if this were a movie, i would run to the airport tomorrow morning and tell him i loved him and that i didn't want him to go and to stay and "let's work things out," but life isn't a movie. life is real. and i just had surgery yesterday to try to conceive with a man who has an addiction problem and i...	knowmadic	3	812	Feb 12, 2011 by Bettina
	Denial about emotional abuse maybe?? (Preview) HI everyone ur thoughts pls..... I was online reading info about emotional abuse last night. Dont know how it came up, Creator I suppose Started to cry out to the Creator, I think becuz I'm in denial that I'm living it today. TO ME!!....how cud that be?!Never thought I wud find myself even askn the qu...	athabascan indian	9	1026	Feb 12, 2011 by athabascan indian
	I feel so lost! (Preview) I am new here and this is my first post. I figured it would be best to start by laying it all out on the table. My boyfriend of a year is a drug addict. He is the most amazing man I have ever met. I want to spend my life with him. He is the hardest worker I know, always attentive to my needs, always complimenting me...	faith84	11	952	Feb 12, 2011 by hotrod
	Not Sure if I'm in the Right Place... (Preview) I don't know if I really belong here but Al-Anon was suggested to me by a counselor a couple years ago after my ex-husband and I separated and of course, I never listened. Its been 2.5 years since I left him and I still think I am struggling with a lot of issues as a result of our marriage. My ex is not viole...	delhommefan	5	736	Feb 12, 2011 by Jerry F
	Question,serious (Preview) Last night was the worst night I have had so far. Was being tempted almost beyond my endurance. Here I have a contract, a home to go to, time to get all the way out, owners are very accepting of me and my animals, but I, if I did not have all my dogs in my bed, and love my HP, I kept thinking how I had enough pills to...	Debilyn	9	1312	Feb 11, 2011 by DreamsOver
	Divorcing with love... (Preview) A while back, while sitting in church, my pastor began to talk about marital love and the commitment of it. He talked about in our society we tend to want the "instant gratification" love, that feels good all the time, that is based on high energy, high reward and not so much on committment a...	Rora	8	844	Feb 11, 2011 by DadtoCandE
	Did I jump the gun??? (Preview) I after years (possibly as far back as 10 years ago, for sure 8) of knowing of a drinking problem my wife had, finally after threating separation or divorce for the past 3 years took the step this past Sept 2010. I was unfamiliar with Al Anon, no direction put was frustrated at seeing her abuse herself wit...	McFripp	12	996	Feb 11, 2011 by McFripp
	Trying to feel positive about A, but failing (Preview) So last night my A let's me know he wants to do more than sleep for once. I was immediately irate. It took everything in me not to scream at him. He voices that he desires me, but does not show that in the slightest. He also voices that he prefers that "sometimes" he chooses to pleasure himsel...	clep	5	719	Feb 11, 2011 by clep
	I am only as sick as my secrets (Preview) I havent been coming to the board for a while. I have relapsed. I have been in pain for about two weeks now. I have been to a meeting, talked to my sponsor, and read literature. Have been doing the "act as if" or "fake it till you make it". I am still focusing on the incident that happe...	kath	4	905	Feb 11, 2011 by hotrod
	good news...this program works! :) (Preview) hi, everyone. I just wanted to share my good news with you guys. I separated from my husband almost a month ago when we got in a fight while he was drunk and I ended up calling the cops because of his violent behavior. i have realized my part in acting as the provoker and enabler and have just tried to fix m...	knowmadic	2	558	Feb 11, 2011 by hotrod
	Drinking sucks (Preview) Im new here to hilo just 3 months from seattle. I have been drinking a long time and though I sometimes have a good time. The badtimes are more frequent then ever. Ive always drank to have a good time so it makes not alot of sense to continue if im not doing just that. I am an alcoholic and may be looking for a...	cherish deneen	1	603	Feb 11, 2011 by Jerry F
	New here and at a fork in the road (Preview) I am married to an alcoholic. In the past 3 months he has been to outpatient rehab, relapsed badly, promised he wanted and would go to inpatient rehab and after backing out 3 times in 2 weeks I told him he had to leave bc I would not live with him anymore as things were. Long story short, we argued, he assau...	RunnerMom	11	925	Feb 10, 2011 by VickieB
	More time for me (Preview) I have been feeling quite strained as I work so much, do a "How it works" Study on Thurs nights, my home group on Wednesday nights, and a Step study out of "Paths to Recovery" on Saturday mornings. I also volunteer about eight hours a week in various places. I am very strapped for...	clep	1	472	Feb 10, 2011 by pineapple
	New subscriber (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic. Over the past 4 months he has been in and out of treatment facilities. He has not worked for a year and a half. He was recently placed on medications to help with Major Depressive Disorder and stopped that when he went on a bender on Monday, February 7. I do not know what to do...	karlie764	11	731	Feb 10, 2011 by Jerry F
	Right or wrong (Preview) Hello, Again, it's been way too long since I've posted, and if I'm going to be honest, way too long since I've been here at all. About 3 months ago, I moved all of my abf's belongings out into the hallway of our apt building (which is our storage area). I hurt every day, and miss him, but I don't miss the cha...	liljeannie	7	699	Feb 10, 2011 by Jerry F
	Boundary Was Broken (NEXT STEP PLEASE) (Preview) Well the first week of the AH home from rehab,Laid out all of my boundaries LOUD & CLEAR. #1 We talked about them and within hours, he broke thru my boundary. Not understanding a word I just said...UGGGG. They were important boundaries regarding contact with my children... I told him, he needed t...	KimmyJo	5	797	Feb 10, 2011 by maresie
	Update on Carolinagirl (Preview) Well it's been a long time since I have been here. Lots and lots of things have changed for me and I wish I could say life has gotten easier but in reality it is getting harder and harder. I believe this is mainly because I'm capable of paying attention now and taking action to do something about situatio...	carolinagirl	3	708	Feb 10, 2011 by maresie
	Having a hard time (Preview) Well, I guess I kind of knew this would happen. Just because the smoking by ABF is not done right in front of me, it doesn't mean it's not affecting me. I don't think this is going to work as far as a future with him goes. Our opposite schedules and his constant smoking makes me see the bleak future. Ugh. ...	member922	3	751	Feb 10, 2011 by member922
	Protect or stand firm? (Preview) Hi everyone -- I need some advice here. My live-in gf is a serious alcoholic who also has an intense anger problem. This toxic combination is compounded by bouts of paranoia that accompany her drinking. Most days, her drinking makes her extremely comabtive and accusatory. If we are at a restaurant...	yuckfaster	5	675	Feb 10, 2011 by Debilyn
	We have a home... (Preview) Owners were very nice. Worked hard fixing a few things, took some junk away. I was laying on a feather bed with a feather comforter and a feather pillow in the cabin. Reading Leo Buscaglia about challenges, joy and something else. I took notes, and soaked it in. Was waiting for the owners to show up. Anyw...	Debilyn	2	553	Feb 10, 2011 by kath
	baby steps (Preview) Hi - just checking in - I am new to my recovery but I held a boundary and I am proud of myself so I wanted to share. I had set a boundary that AH could not go out when I was to go to work (I work the overnight shift). I told him he's been unsafe when caring for the children in the past and if I am not there I do not trus...	newleaf66	5	729	Feb 10, 2011 by newleaf66
	Unsure of what to do? (Preview) So, I am new to this message board. I've never really talked much about my situation, but I feel like this may help me to figure things out. I am 25 years old. I have lived my whole life with addicts. My dad has been a drug addict for the majority of his life. He has been in and out of rehabs several times and has...	Karleyb75	2	695	Feb 10, 2011 by hotrod
	Love vs too much love? (Preview) Just wondering when there is love or if thier is too much love.Situation when it fitss when somone is falling down in an adiction and hit rock bottom .do we regret ourselves for loving too much or not enoughlove any opinions on this. Also what about controlling love and how far to push it?	seeking1	2	511	Feb 10, 2011 by Rora
	Tough love is just that.. (Preview) I've posted previously that my 17.5 yr old son is staying with a friend. The mom offered for him to stay there, essentially a decision made without my direct consent, other than I did say that if he couldn't live by my rules he couldn't live with me. My ex said the same. Though it is not the best place, it...	Loupiness	0	537	Feb 10, 2011 by Loupiness
	New Here - alcoholic moved out - why the hell am I crying? (Preview) Hello - I am new to this board but have attended some alanon meetings in the past. Married 15 years, husband never drank until year 9, has been drinking most of the last 6 with 6 treatments during that time. We have finally just separated which is what I have "threatened" for 6 years but neve...	blga	9	1235	Feb 10, 2011 by pinkchip
	Possibly Having Children With an Alcoholic (Preview) Howdy all, I need some guidance. My girlfriend is an alcoholic, and on again off again in recovery. I want nothing more than to marry her and raise a family (eventually), but have decided it's a bad idea until she can get her drinking under control. I don't even know if she can go nine days without a drink,...	B_L	7	976	Feb 9, 2011 by Rora
	Feb., 8th 1979 (Preview) It was sometime before that date that I came into Al-Anon angry and sick. My spouse was in the other room with her new sponsor. She was new to AA and I was angry, resentful and jealous. She dared to have a group of people do what it was that I could not...change her drinking style, habit, addiction. Her...	Jerry F	8	891	Feb 9, 2011 by Rora
	resentments (Preview) I had a number of resentments against a now former colleague of mine. He left the job I am currently working at 3 months ago. Of course I still held onto those resentments and polished them up. While I knew he was seriously neglecting himself I most of the time fell for his notion that he was a highly educ...	maresie	5	687	Feb 9, 2011 by hotrod
	signing today (Preview) I am meeting the owners today up there. My throat is blocked. ugh. deep breaths. am so nervous. They have sounded great thru email and on the phone. I am hoping once this hurdle is done I will feel better. Limbo is NOT for me. Need to make a home, rest, heal and learn to be happy again. New Kingdom Hall is exci...	Debilyn	2	523	Feb 9, 2011 by pineapple
	AD in recovery.. seems to take it out on me (Preview) I don't know why but maybe I am doing too much. Expecting too much. My 21 year old AD is in recovery, living home, doing her program as best I can tell. But she seems to shut me out, be offended that I may not trust her, seems annoyed I request a text and have her check in. She does live in our home, drive our car...	MVP	2	669	Feb 9, 2011 by pinkchip
	Moving on happens when we least expect it..... (Preview) Well it seems moving on happens gradually and when we least expect it. After 7 years (3 1/2 of them sober, but not sure how he is now), manipulation, lies and cheating that come along with it, not to mention suspected sociopathy by his part.....I've finally snapped out of it the day (Last Monday) he wa...	RoseODAT	2	923	Feb 9, 2011 by newleaf66
	"If you spot it, you got it" (Preview) Heard that in my Al Anon meeting tonight. Wow, really took my breath away. I posted the other day about how I have focused completely on my wife and not at all on myself. Why did she say that? Why did she do that? Why didn't she say/do that? It's been that way since we met. It's a wonder she married me. One of m...	usedtobeanyer	8	1359	Feb 9, 2011 by stephaniej
	Where did that Yankee guy go? (Preview) People sorta quietly disappear. Just wondered.... deb	Debilyn	3	699	Feb 9, 2011 by Sweet Stanley
	meeting room? (Preview) Is anyone else having a problem getting into the meeting room?	DreamXL	1	366	Feb 9, 2011 by LarryWhiteford
	The Now what stage? (Preview) Doooooooooo do do do, yep thats where I am at, for me it's all the little nitty gritty things,like making decisions and not getting into the whole head convo with myself thingy, and also I have a terrible habit of always wanting to justify myself, gotta do more practice on using simple solutions for com...	Katy	1	534	Feb 9, 2011 by knowmadic
	Coming up D Day.... (Preview) Soooo... Tomorrow is D Day... I guess it has been on my mind more today then it has, but it hasn't been an Easy week so far and its only Monday :( I know that I will be Fine, or at least that is what I keep telling myself...but a Few Glitches in my Expectations left me feeling depleated a touch... Saturday afte...	Jozie	4	1347	Feb 8, 2011 by Jozie
	Mtg chair needed for tonight (Tues) (Preview) I have an event tonight at my kiddo's school so I most likely won't be here to chair tonight's meeting. It would be great if someone could cover for me. Thanks!	casa	0	357	Feb 8, 2011 by casa
	Long talk with my 14 year old son (Preview) So I have a long drive to work every day and my son was with me. I could tell from his body language (I am an expert in that department) that he was upset about having to stay at his step-dad's house and I really wanted to help get to the bottom of why. I asked him about what goes on there, if his step dad (the fa...	sunflowergirl	3	873	Feb 8, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	During the time, I didn't know, that I didn't know, just what? (Preview) I was dealing with, I think it would be fair to say I was in my late forties and only through haunting these boards and my thirst for perfection and my huge ego, and out of control will, did I start to know, that now I did know although I cannot change the past, I can certainly change my future, at the moment I a...	Katy	3	726	Feb 8, 2011 by Jerry F
	Little update (Preview) HP hangs onto me tight. I met this wonderful lady who adopted my littlest Shi Tzu/Poo. The gal has a huge place and two other ones she rescued. Her grandaughter fell in love with little Jellyhead. Jelly LOVES them too. She sleeps in their bed with them The gal has money so Jelly won't want for anything. Re...	Debilyn	6	746	Feb 8, 2011 by Sweet Stanley
	Divorced and Deeply Depressed (Preview) I am hoping someone can relate. I was divorced in June of 2010. When I received the official papers, I did not feel the "joy of relief" like a friend said I would feel. Looking back, I think I felt nothing. So I must have suppressed my emotions. I began a high stress job in August. I have a ve...	GailMichelle	13	1302	Feb 7, 2011 by Debilyn
	leaning towards divorce (Preview) After a very pleasant 1 week "visit" from my estranged AW after she left rehab, I am noticing the addiction creep back into her life. I should clarify I am using the term "visit" metaphorically, she did not move back in with me, but we did things as a family where she was presen...	DadtoCandE	8	1054	Feb 7, 2011 by DadtoCandE
	drinking = get out (Preview) I was in a meeting the other day where a woman was sharing that she created a boundry and enforced it. She was feeling proud of herself for enforcing and following thru with her boundry but at a loss as to what to do now.... I remember so well being there. I made the boundry "if you drink then you will no...	freeagain	2	637	Feb 7, 2011 by pineapple
	Conversation from HP (Preview) I got up early this morning and decided not to try to eke out those extra few minutes of sleep in my room which was still dark. Decided to take the girls (Chloe and Sadie) for a walk in the dark and they were up for it. Drove down to our usual walking area and as we were walking I thought about how dark the area...	Jerry F	5	784	Feb 7, 2011 by All I can be
	Why is there so much guilt and responsibility? (Preview) EMG's post (just before this one) really rang true for me. I am still married to my AH. After more than 10 years I sit here and wonder why I am letting it continue. About 3 years of heavy drinking, 4 years of detached sobriety, 3 more years of heavy drinking, lying and financial hardship, and now we are e...	looking_for_peace	4	1110	Feb 7, 2011 by tlynna
	Oh my... (Preview) I was suppose to take my AH to get an MRI done this evening. The hospital we were going to does MRIs 24/7, and his appt. was scheduled for 12:15am. He wanted me to go with him, he said it was to support him, I knew it was because he wanted to drink. He told me I should lay down for a nap, seeing as I had to be up late....	Evian	4	757	Feb 7, 2011 by hotrod
	Dried Up Crusty Old Sponge (Preview) Someone posted earlier today, or yesterday, that once we attend a face-to-face meeting, and we start to absorb the program like a sponge, that we should not let the sponge dry out. So, so true. I am a dried up crusty old sponge. I have been on an intermittent backslide for weeks now, and it culminated i...	stephaniej	5	661	Feb 7, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	So he is 2 days sober... (Preview) What do I do with me? LOL. Seriously, I am very tender right now and feeling vulnerable do to a bad tooth ache that is getting taken care of next week... and other asundry things that us Alanonics do to ourselves, and I just want some kind and gentle feed back on how to keep me busy while he is working on his...	sunflowergirl	7	914	Feb 7, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	Godzilla Returns (Preview) Well, I have been new to this forum for the past 28 days. I have upside down, mixed up, confussed, anxiety, depressed, lost guilty,anger and whatever messed up feelings a chick could have..lol I have been working the program for 28 days & 28 nights. Godzilla (AH) just came home today from intensiv...	KimmyJo	10	853	Feb 7, 2011 by tlynna
	He's finally in recovery, but I've had enough (Preview) I've read a lot about those who have called it quits while the significant other is still actively drinking. I guess I kinda did this, but it happened to be the turning point for him. It seems something has finally switched for him and he now wants recovery and is actively seeking it out. My problem is I fe...	emg	6	1050	Feb 7, 2011 by danielle0516
	Dad in rehab - first steps when he comes home? (Preview) Hi, I'm glad I found this board as it helps to "talk" to others that have been at this point. My 76 year old father checked into rehab yesterday - they say the average is a 5 day stay. After that, hopefully, he will attend AA. I went to Barnes and Noble today to see if I could find books about reco...	mexigrl64	4	636	Feb 7, 2011 by Sweet Stanley
	Update - Monday a.m. Meeting (Preview) The appointment that was preventing me from chairing the Monday a.m. Al-Anon Meeting has just been changed to the afternoon. With this change in scheduling, I will now be able to chair the meeting this morning. See you there.	shimo	0	416	Feb 7, 2011 by shimo
	It's just annoying (Preview) I know that the only way to achieve my goals is to work on myself, but I can't help but to be annoyed sometimes. I am annoyed with my AH because it's not fair. It's not fair that he so easy walks in and out of my life. How he can say things to me like he never loved me, or he needs no contact with me out of no where...	parfait624	8	477	Feb 7, 2011 by parfait624
	Breaking the habit of focusing on others instead of myself (Preview) It's becoming apparent that one of my biggest issues is my tendency to focus on others instead of myself. Specifically, my wife. But this is a problem that I've had long before I met my wife. It's only through Al Anon and through therapy that I've realized how much this is holding me back. I think being a...	usedtobeanyer	8	4842	Feb 6, 2011 by athabascan indian
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.