Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello, Again, it's been way too long since I've posted, and if I'm going to be honest, way too long since I've been here at all. About 3 months ago, I moved all of my abf's belongings out into the hallway of our apt building (which is our storage area). I hurt every day, and miss him, but I don't miss the cha...

KimmyJo · KimmyJo

Well the first week of the AH home from rehab,Laid out all of my boundaries LOUD & CLEAR. #1 We talked about them and within hours, he broke thru my boundary. Not understanding a word I just said...UGGGG. They were important boundaries regarding contact with my children... I told him, he needed t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well it's been a long time since I have been here. Lots and lots of things have changed for me and I wish I could say life has gotten easier but in reality it is getting harder and harder. I believe this is mainly because I'm capable of paying attention now and taking action to do something about situatio...

member922 · member922

Well, I guess I kind of knew this would happen. Just because the smoking by ABF is not done right in front of me, it doesn't mean it's not affecting me. I don't think this is going to work as far as a future with him goes. Our opposite schedules and his constant smoking makes me see the bleak future. Ugh. ...

yuckfaster · yuckfaster

Hi everyone -- I need some advice here. My live-in gf is a serious alcoholic who also has an intense anger problem. This toxic combination is compounded by bouts of paranoia that accompany her drinking. Most days, her drinking makes her extremely comabtive and accusatory. If we are at a restaurant...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Owners were very nice. Worked hard fixing a few things, took some junk away. I was laying on a feather bed with a feather comforter and a feather pillow in the cabin. Reading Leo Buscaglia about challenges, joy and something else. I took notes, and soaked it in. Was waiting for the owners to show up. Anyw...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hi - just checking in - I am new to my recovery but I held a boundary and I am proud of myself so I wanted to share. I had set a boundary that AH could not go out when I was to go to work (I work the overnight shift). I told him he's been unsafe when caring for the children in the past and if I am not there I do not trus...

Karleyb75 · Karleyb75

So, I am new to this message board. I've never really talked much about my situation, but I feel like this may help me to figure things out. I am 25 years old. I have lived my whole life with addicts. My dad has been a drug addict for the majority of his life. He has been in and out of rehabs several times and has...

seeking1 · seeking1

Just wondering when there is love or if thier is too much love.Situation when it fitss when somone is falling down in an adiction and hit rock bottom .do we regret ourselves for loving too much or not enoughlove any opinions on this. Also what about controlling love and how far to push it?

Loupiness · Loupiness

I've posted previously that my 17.5 yr old son is staying with a friend. The mom offered for him to stay there, essentially a decision made without my direct consent, other than I did say that if he couldn't live by my rules he couldn't live with me. My ex said the same. Though it is not the best place, it...

blga · blga

Hello - I am new to this board but have attended some alanon meetings in the past. Married 15 years, husband never drank until year 9, has been drinking most of the last 6 with 6 treatments during that time. We have finally just separated which is what I have "threatened" for 6 years but neve...

B_L · B_L

Howdy all, I need some guidance. My girlfriend is an alcoholic, and on again off again in recovery. I want nothing more than to marry her and raise a family (eventually), but have decided it's a bad idea until she can get her drinking under control. I don't even know if she can go nine days without a drink,...

Jerry F · Jerry F

It was sometime before that date that I came into Al-Anon angry and sick. My spouse was in the other room with her new sponsor. She was new to AA and I was angry, resentful and jealous. She dared to have a group of people do what it was that I could not...change her drinking style, habit, addiction. Her...

maresie · maresie

I had a number of resentments against a now former colleague of mine. He left the job I am currently working at 3 months ago. Of course I still held onto those resentments and polished them up. While I knew he was seriously neglecting himself I most of the time fell for his notion that he was a highly educ...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am meeting the owners today up there. My throat is blocked. ugh. deep breaths. am so nervous. They have sounded great thru email and on the phone. I am hoping once this hurdle is done I will feel better. Limbo is NOT for me. Need to make a home, rest, heal and learn to be happy again. New Kingdom Hall is exci...

MVP · MVP

I don't know why but maybe I am doing too much. Expecting too much. My 21 year old AD is in recovery, living home, doing her program as best I can tell. But she seems to shut me out, be offended that I may not trust her, seems annoyed I request a text and have her check in. She does live in our home, drive our car...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

Well it seems moving on happens gradually and when we least expect it. After 7 years (3 1/2 of them sober, but not sure how he is now), manipulation, lies and cheating that come along with it, not to mention suspected sociopathy by his part.....I've finally snapped out of it the day (Last Monday) he wa...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Heard that in my Al Anon meeting tonight. Wow, really took my breath away. I posted the other day about how I have focused completely on my wife and not at all on myself. Why did she say that? Why did she do that? Why didn't she say/do that? It's been that way since we met. It's a wonder she married me. One of m...

Debilyn · Debilyn

People sorta quietly disappear. Just wondered.... deb

DreamXL · DreamXL

Is anyone else having a problem getting into the meeting room?

Katy · Katy

Doooooooooo do do do, yep thats where I am at, for me it's all the little nitty gritty things,like making decisions and not getting into the whole head convo with myself thingy, and also I have a terrible habit of always wanting to justify myself, gotta do more practice on using simple solutions for com...

Jozie · Jozie

Soooo... Tomorrow is D Day... I guess it has been on my mind more today then it has, but it hasn't been an Easy week so far and its only Monday :( I know that I will be Fine, or at least that is what I keep telling myself...but a Few Glitches in my Expectations left me feeling depleated a touch... Saturday afte...

casa · casa

I have an event tonight at my kiddo's school so I most likely won't be here to chair tonight's meeting. It would be great if someone could cover for me. Thanks!

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

So I have a long drive to work every day and my son was with me. I could tell from his body language (I am an expert in that department) that he was upset about having to stay at his step-dad's house and I really wanted to help get to the bottom of why. I asked him about what goes on there, if his step dad (the fa...

Katy · Katy

I was dealing with, I think it would be fair to say I was in my late forties and only through haunting these boards and my thirst for perfection and my huge ego, and out of control will, did I start to know, that now I did know although I cannot change the past, I can certainly change my future, at the moment I a...

Debilyn · Debilyn

HP hangs onto me tight. I met this wonderful lady who adopted my littlest Shi Tzu/Poo. The gal has a huge place and two other ones she rescued. Her grandaughter fell in love with little Jellyhead. Jelly LOVES them too. She sleeps in their bed with them The gal has money so Jelly won't want for anything. Re...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I am hoping someone can relate. I was divorced in June of 2010. When I received the official papers, I did not feel the "joy of relief" like a friend said I would feel. Looking back, I think I felt nothing. So I must have suppressed my emotions. I began a high stress job in August. I have a ve...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

After a very pleasant 1 week "visit" from my estranged AW after she left rehab, I am noticing the addiction creep back into her life. I should clarify I am using the term "visit" metaphorically, she did not move back in with me, but we did things as a family where she was presen...

freeagain · freeagain

I was in a meeting the other day where a woman was sharing that she created a boundry and enforced it. She was feeling proud of herself for enforcing and following thru with her boundry but at a loss as to what to do now.... I remember so well being there. I made the boundry "if you drink then you will no...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I got up early this morning and decided not to try to eke out those extra few minutes of sleep in my room which was still dark. Decided to take the girls (Chloe and Sadie) for a walk in the dark and they were up for it. Drove down to our usual walking area and as we were walking I thought about how dark the area...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

EMG's post (just before this one) really rang true for me. I am still married to my AH. After more than 10 years I sit here and wonder why I am letting it continue. About 3 years of heavy drinking, 4 years of detached sobriety, 3 more years of heavy drinking, lying and financial hardship, and now we are e...

Evian · Evian

I was suppose to take my AH to get an MRI done this evening. The hospital we were going to does MRIs 24/7, and his appt. was scheduled for 12:15am. He wanted me to go with him, he said it was to support him, I knew it was because he wanted to drink. He told me I should lay down for a nap, seeing as I had to be up late....

stephaniej · stephaniej

Someone posted earlier today, or yesterday, that once we attend a face-to-face meeting, and we start to absorb the program like a sponge, that we should not let the sponge dry out. So, so true. I am a dried up crusty old sponge. I have been on an intermittent backslide for weeks now, and it culminated i...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

What do I do with me? LOL. Seriously, I am very tender right now and feeling vulnerable do to a bad tooth ache that is getting taken care of next week... and other asundry things that us Alanonics do to ourselves, and I just want some kind and gentle feed back on how to keep me busy while he is working on his...

KimmyJo · KimmyJo

Well, I have been new to this forum for the past 28 days. I have upside down, mixed up, confussed, anxiety, depressed, lost guilty,anger and whatever messed up feelings a chick could have..lol I have been working the program for 28 days & 28 nights. Godzilla (AH) just came home today from intensiv...

emg · emg

I've read a lot about those who have called it quits while the significant other is still actively drinking. I guess I kinda did this, but it happened to be the turning point for him. It seems something has finally switched for him and he now wants recovery and is actively seeking it out. My problem is I fe...

mexigrl64 · mexigrl64

Hi, I'm glad I found this board as it helps to "talk" to others that have been at this point. My 76 year old father checked into rehab yesterday - they say the average is a 5 day stay. After that, hopefully, he will attend AA. I went to Barnes and Noble today to see if I could find books about reco...

shimo · shimo

The appointment that was preventing me from chairing the Monday a.m. Al-Anon Meeting has just been changed to the afternoon. With this change in scheduling, I will now be able to chair the meeting this morning. See you there.

parfait624 · parfait624

I know that the only way to achieve my goals is to work on myself, but I can't help but to be annoyed sometimes. I am annoyed with my AH because it's not fair. It's not fair that he so easy walks in and out of my life. How he can say things to me like he never loved me, or he needs no contact with me out of no where...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

It's becoming apparent that one of my biggest issues is my tendency to focus on others instead of myself. Specifically, my wife. But this is a problem that I've had long before I met my wife. It's only through Al Anon and through therapy that I've realized how much this is holding me back. I think being a...

parfait624 · parfait624

My AHboyfriend and I started having problems around thanksgiving. He has three years sobriety under his belt and this was our second attempt at the relashionship. Over night everything seemed to fall apart. He I believe is a dry alcoholic. He replaced drinking with playing poker. Serious up a...

shimo · shimo

I am unable honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon meeting Monday morning. Hoping another OP or one of the other members will step up and chair for me. Thanks.

Stillalive2dream · Stillalive2dream

It is so comforting to come here and realize how I'm not the crazy or awful one. My ex-boyfriend always told me our relationship problems where all my fault and that I was crazy. The verbal abuse, the lies, the mindgames, etc. literally drove me until I hit my bottom emotionally. I knew he had an addictio...

glad lee · glad lee

It's been awhile since I phoned my former sponsor (from the former state I lived in) but I got to talk with her yesterday. I asked her about her new grandchild... her voice was so full of joy! I told her how I had been fantasizing about becoming a grandmother... even though I am waaay into the future with...

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

As I mentioned earlier my wife completed a 30 day. I have attended a few meetings. Rationally understanding what I was hearing and honestly trying to state back what I had heard. I was enjoying a period of calm with my wife hoping for her recovery. I was completely focused on her, waiting for her to me...

Debilyn · Debilyn

It was so hard, but I placed an ad for Brimley one of my Shi Tzu/Poodles. The first call I got was from a man who is 74. Jim had had to put his only companion down two weeks ago. He cried, tried not to let me know. I told him it is very ok, that my dad cries over his dog he lost too. I took Brim over to meet Jim. Now Jim i...

Irish1 · Irish1

My stomach was in knots all day yesterday because I was so worried about telling my fiance that I was going to a meeting. He had already been drinking by the time I got home from work (as usual). I asked him how he would feel about me going to an al anon meeting. He told me "Do what you have to do,. But I alr...

jocelgp · jocelgp

all i know is that i get a different feeling, mixed emotion of disappointment, sadness, anger whenever my husband would have a drink with his friends. i feel more comfortable if i'm around when he drinks, but it doesn't mean i like what he's doing, i still don't like it. worse is when he would insist to...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

The topic at my f2f meeting last night was control - specifically, how we stopped trying to control and our awareness of our own attempts to control. Many people mentioned that before they got some recovery, they would tell the addict the same things over and over. Most of the stuff they would say ha...

Sandy_K · Sandy_K

I posted a few days ago for the first time and I'm so grateful for the outreach and support. I have spent so much time since then looking for local meetings and have found a few. I know there are more, and I will find times and schedules that work for me. Today is 7 weeks since my youngest took his life. There a...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

but I did feel like I was going to throw up before I walked in.... Here I was just doing the most basic thing for myself - getting some support and I had trouble. I nearly turned around too but I thought of my children and walked in that door. And guess what? It was good. I belong there. Someone even gave...

Evian · Evian

So... After weeks of procrastinating... I finally went to my first f2f meeting tonight. Yes, I was a bit nervous, not knowing what to expect.. My uneasiness soon faded away. There wasn't alot of people there, but that's ok. They were friendly and reassured me that I wasn't alone. We even went for coff...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I have felt like I was at step 1 for a long time. Really since I first started with Al Anon. As I recall, it was pretty easy for me--I am powerless over my wife's drinking. There's nothing I can do about it. And things were certainly unmanageable. Ok, that was easy. And I felt good about it. It was such a refre...

Goodtillitsbad · Goodtillitsbad

Wow I feel like the deeper I dig and work on myself the pain starts to come up faster and worse when I get triggered. I feel like every layer I peel back I realize I'm still in denial about so many things. As an update, it's been 11 months since I asked my AH to leave our house. Our son was 8 months at the time and i...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I am human. I know this. I know that we all make mistakes. I need to understand something though...maybe you can help or relate? I believe one of my character defects is something about not wanting to get in trouble. Always trying to save face. I don't know what this comes from, either the sexual a...

freeagain · freeagain

On a morning talk show, a woman, covered her face, refused to give her name and made them change her voice and outted the husband and daughter of the woman who killed her two teen kids for being "mouthy". The reporter said that "in an alanon 12 step meeting, Parker Schenecker and his da...

Hayes · Hayes

Honestly, what was the point of that to try and assertively point out that I feel that I am being constantly being criticised, put down and blamed....what did I get? criticised, put down and blamed....and the wall of denial then a spin back on to me and oh he's leaving my life all together tomorrow with o...

Jozie · Jozie

I find if Funny at times the things that SLAP ya in the face... Old habits and "reactions" that ya "Think" you have conquered...lol... I know before I wouldn't have even gave silly stuff like this a 2nd thought,... But Yesterday, I was Standing in my Shop, With the Husband, Son, &...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

So, I am trying to figure out how to get to a f2f meeting. Asking him to watch the kids so I can go seems too confrontational right now. I don't want to make this about him, it's about me. There is a meeting tomorrow, Friday, at 10 am in my town. I could go when the kids (3 of them) are at school. Here is my qu...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Yes it has been quite awhile since I have posted on here, actually just been on here. I don't know exactly why other than I have been having an "easy" time lately and hadn't felt the need to come here. But I have also come to the conclusion that I NEED to come here anyway and read and share. I don't...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Right or wrong (Preview) Hello, Again, it's been way too long since I've posted, and if I'm going to be honest, way too long since I've been here at all. About 3 months ago, I moved all of my abf's belongings out into the hallway of our apt building (which is our storage area). I hurt every day, and miss him, but I don't miss the cha...	liljeannie	7	687	Feb 10, 2011 by Jerry F
	Boundary Was Broken (NEXT STEP PLEASE) (Preview) Well the first week of the AH home from rehab,Laid out all of my boundaries LOUD & CLEAR. #1 We talked about them and within hours, he broke thru my boundary. Not understanding a word I just said...UGGGG. They were important boundaries regarding contact with my children... I told him, he needed t...	KimmyJo	5	784	Feb 10, 2011 by maresie
	Update on Carolinagirl (Preview) Well it's been a long time since I have been here. Lots and lots of things have changed for me and I wish I could say life has gotten easier but in reality it is getting harder and harder. I believe this is mainly because I'm capable of paying attention now and taking action to do something about situatio...	carolinagirl	3	696	Feb 10, 2011 by maresie
	Having a hard time (Preview) Well, I guess I kind of knew this would happen. Just because the smoking by ABF is not done right in front of me, it doesn't mean it's not affecting me. I don't think this is going to work as far as a future with him goes. Our opposite schedules and his constant smoking makes me see the bleak future. Ugh. ...	member922	3	739	Feb 10, 2011 by member922
	Protect or stand firm? (Preview) Hi everyone -- I need some advice here. My live-in gf is a serious alcoholic who also has an intense anger problem. This toxic combination is compounded by bouts of paranoia that accompany her drinking. Most days, her drinking makes her extremely comabtive and accusatory. If we are at a restaurant...	yuckfaster	5	660	Feb 10, 2011 by Debilyn
	We have a home... (Preview) Owners were very nice. Worked hard fixing a few things, took some junk away. I was laying on a feather bed with a feather comforter and a feather pillow in the cabin. Reading Leo Buscaglia about challenges, joy and something else. I took notes, and soaked it in. Was waiting for the owners to show up. Anyw...	Debilyn	2	541	Feb 10, 2011 by kath
	baby steps (Preview) Hi - just checking in - I am new to my recovery but I held a boundary and I am proud of myself so I wanted to share. I had set a boundary that AH could not go out when I was to go to work (I work the overnight shift). I told him he's been unsafe when caring for the children in the past and if I am not there I do not trus...	newleaf66	5	717	Feb 10, 2011 by newleaf66
	Unsure of what to do? (Preview) So, I am new to this message board. I've never really talked much about my situation, but I feel like this may help me to figure things out. I am 25 years old. I have lived my whole life with addicts. My dad has been a drug addict for the majority of his life. He has been in and out of rehabs several times and has...	Karleyb75	2	683	Feb 10, 2011 by hotrod
	Love vs too much love? (Preview) Just wondering when there is love or if thier is too much love.Situation when it fitss when somone is falling down in an adiction and hit rock bottom .do we regret ourselves for loving too much or not enoughlove any opinions on this. Also what about controlling love and how far to push it?	seeking1	2	498	Feb 10, 2011 by Rora
	Tough love is just that.. (Preview) I've posted previously that my 17.5 yr old son is staying with a friend. The mom offered for him to stay there, essentially a decision made without my direct consent, other than I did say that if he couldn't live by my rules he couldn't live with me. My ex said the same. Though it is not the best place, it...	Loupiness	0	524	Feb 10, 2011 by Loupiness
	New Here - alcoholic moved out - why the hell am I crying? (Preview) Hello - I am new to this board but have attended some alanon meetings in the past. Married 15 years, husband never drank until year 9, has been drinking most of the last 6 with 6 treatments during that time. We have finally just separated which is what I have "threatened" for 6 years but neve...	blga	9	1215	Feb 10, 2011 by pinkchip
	Possibly Having Children With an Alcoholic (Preview) Howdy all, I need some guidance. My girlfriend is an alcoholic, and on again off again in recovery. I want nothing more than to marry her and raise a family (eventually), but have decided it's a bad idea until she can get her drinking under control. I don't even know if she can go nine days without a drink,...	B_L	7	963	Feb 9, 2011 by Rora
	Feb., 8th 1979 (Preview) It was sometime before that date that I came into Al-Anon angry and sick. My spouse was in the other room with her new sponsor. She was new to AA and I was angry, resentful and jealous. She dared to have a group of people do what it was that I could not...change her drinking style, habit, addiction. Her...	Jerry F	8	876	Feb 9, 2011 by Rora
	resentments (Preview) I had a number of resentments against a now former colleague of mine. He left the job I am currently working at 3 months ago. Of course I still held onto those resentments and polished them up. While I knew he was seriously neglecting himself I most of the time fell for his notion that he was a highly educ...	maresie	5	674	Feb 9, 2011 by hotrod
	signing today (Preview) I am meeting the owners today up there. My throat is blocked. ugh. deep breaths. am so nervous. They have sounded great thru email and on the phone. I am hoping once this hurdle is done I will feel better. Limbo is NOT for me. Need to make a home, rest, heal and learn to be happy again. New Kingdom Hall is exci...	Debilyn	2	514	Feb 9, 2011 by pineapple
	AD in recovery.. seems to take it out on me (Preview) I don't know why but maybe I am doing too much. Expecting too much. My 21 year old AD is in recovery, living home, doing her program as best I can tell. But she seems to shut me out, be offended that I may not trust her, seems annoyed I request a text and have her check in. She does live in our home, drive our car...	MVP	2	654	Feb 9, 2011 by pinkchip
	Moving on happens when we least expect it..... (Preview) Well it seems moving on happens gradually and when we least expect it. After 7 years (3 1/2 of them sober, but not sure how he is now), manipulation, lies and cheating that come along with it, not to mention suspected sociopathy by his part.....I've finally snapped out of it the day (Last Monday) he wa...	RoseODAT	2	910	Feb 9, 2011 by newleaf66
	"If you spot it, you got it" (Preview) Heard that in my Al Anon meeting tonight. Wow, really took my breath away. I posted the other day about how I have focused completely on my wife and not at all on myself. Why did she say that? Why did she do that? Why didn't she say/do that? It's been that way since we met. It's a wonder she married me. One of m...	usedtobeanyer	8	1347	Feb 9, 2011 by stephaniej
	Where did that Yankee guy go? (Preview) People sorta quietly disappear. Just wondered.... deb	Debilyn	3	684	Feb 9, 2011 by Sweet Stanley
	meeting room? (Preview) Is anyone else having a problem getting into the meeting room?	DreamXL	1	353	Feb 9, 2011 by LarryWhiteford
	The Now what stage? (Preview) Doooooooooo do do do, yep thats where I am at, for me it's all the little nitty gritty things,like making decisions and not getting into the whole head convo with myself thingy, and also I have a terrible habit of always wanting to justify myself, gotta do more practice on using simple solutions for com...	Katy	1	509	Feb 9, 2011 by knowmadic
	Coming up D Day.... (Preview) Soooo... Tomorrow is D Day... I guess it has been on my mind more today then it has, but it hasn't been an Easy week so far and its only Monday :( I know that I will be Fine, or at least that is what I keep telling myself...but a Few Glitches in my Expectations left me feeling depleated a touch... Saturday afte...	Jozie	4	1333	Feb 8, 2011 by Jozie
	Mtg chair needed for tonight (Tues) (Preview) I have an event tonight at my kiddo's school so I most likely won't be here to chair tonight's meeting. It would be great if someone could cover for me. Thanks!	casa	0	345	Feb 8, 2011 by casa
	Long talk with my 14 year old son (Preview) So I have a long drive to work every day and my son was with me. I could tell from his body language (I am an expert in that department) that he was upset about having to stay at his step-dad's house and I really wanted to help get to the bottom of why. I asked him about what goes on there, if his step dad (the fa...	sunflowergirl	3	854	Feb 8, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	During the time, I didn't know, that I didn't know, just what? (Preview) I was dealing with, I think it would be fair to say I was in my late forties and only through haunting these boards and my thirst for perfection and my huge ego, and out of control will, did I start to know, that now I did know although I cannot change the past, I can certainly change my future, at the moment I a...	Katy	3	714	Feb 8, 2011 by Jerry F
	Little update (Preview) HP hangs onto me tight. I met this wonderful lady who adopted my littlest Shi Tzu/Poo. The gal has a huge place and two other ones she rescued. Her grandaughter fell in love with little Jellyhead. Jelly LOVES them too. She sleeps in their bed with them The gal has money so Jelly won't want for anything. Re...	Debilyn	6	731	Feb 8, 2011 by Sweet Stanley
	Divorced and Deeply Depressed (Preview) I am hoping someone can relate. I was divorced in June of 2010. When I received the official papers, I did not feel the "joy of relief" like a friend said I would feel. Looking back, I think I felt nothing. So I must have suppressed my emotions. I began a high stress job in August. I have a ve...	GailMichelle	13	1285	Feb 7, 2011 by Debilyn
	leaning towards divorce (Preview) After a very pleasant 1 week "visit" from my estranged AW after she left rehab, I am noticing the addiction creep back into her life. I should clarify I am using the term "visit" metaphorically, she did not move back in with me, but we did things as a family where she was presen...	DadtoCandE	8	1034	Feb 7, 2011 by DadtoCandE
	drinking = get out (Preview) I was in a meeting the other day where a woman was sharing that she created a boundry and enforced it. She was feeling proud of herself for enforcing and following thru with her boundry but at a loss as to what to do now.... I remember so well being there. I made the boundry "if you drink then you will no...	freeagain	2	625	Feb 7, 2011 by pineapple
	Conversation from HP (Preview) I got up early this morning and decided not to try to eke out those extra few minutes of sleep in my room which was still dark. Decided to take the girls (Chloe and Sadie) for a walk in the dark and they were up for it. Drove down to our usual walking area and as we were walking I thought about how dark the area...	Jerry F	5	772	Feb 7, 2011 by All I can be
	Why is there so much guilt and responsibility? (Preview) EMG's post (just before this one) really rang true for me. I am still married to my AH. After more than 10 years I sit here and wonder why I am letting it continue. About 3 years of heavy drinking, 4 years of detached sobriety, 3 more years of heavy drinking, lying and financial hardship, and now we are e...	looking_for_peace	4	1088	Feb 7, 2011 by tlynna
	Oh my... (Preview) I was suppose to take my AH to get an MRI done this evening. The hospital we were going to does MRIs 24/7, and his appt. was scheduled for 12:15am. He wanted me to go with him, he said it was to support him, I knew it was because he wanted to drink. He told me I should lay down for a nap, seeing as I had to be up late....	Evian	4	745	Feb 7, 2011 by hotrod
	Dried Up Crusty Old Sponge (Preview) Someone posted earlier today, or yesterday, that once we attend a face-to-face meeting, and we start to absorb the program like a sponge, that we should not let the sponge dry out. So, so true. I am a dried up crusty old sponge. I have been on an intermittent backslide for weeks now, and it culminated i...	stephaniej	5	649	Feb 7, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	So he is 2 days sober... (Preview) What do I do with me? LOL. Seriously, I am very tender right now and feeling vulnerable do to a bad tooth ache that is getting taken care of next week... and other asundry things that us Alanonics do to ourselves, and I just want some kind and gentle feed back on how to keep me busy while he is working on his...	sunflowergirl	7	898	Feb 7, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	Godzilla Returns (Preview) Well, I have been new to this forum for the past 28 days. I have upside down, mixed up, confussed, anxiety, depressed, lost guilty,anger and whatever messed up feelings a chick could have..lol I have been working the program for 28 days & 28 nights. Godzilla (AH) just came home today from intensiv...	KimmyJo	10	835	Feb 7, 2011 by tlynna
	He's finally in recovery, but I've had enough (Preview) I've read a lot about those who have called it quits while the significant other is still actively drinking. I guess I kinda did this, but it happened to be the turning point for him. It seems something has finally switched for him and he now wants recovery and is actively seeking it out. My problem is I fe...	emg	6	1033	Feb 7, 2011 by danielle0516
	Dad in rehab - first steps when he comes home? (Preview) Hi, I'm glad I found this board as it helps to "talk" to others that have been at this point. My 76 year old father checked into rehab yesterday - they say the average is a 5 day stay. After that, hopefully, he will attend AA. I went to Barnes and Noble today to see if I could find books about reco...	mexigrl64	4	624	Feb 7, 2011 by Sweet Stanley
	Update - Monday a.m. Meeting (Preview) The appointment that was preventing me from chairing the Monday a.m. Al-Anon Meeting has just been changed to the afternoon. With this change in scheduling, I will now be able to chair the meeting this morning. See you there.	shimo	0	402	Feb 7, 2011 by shimo
	It's just annoying (Preview) I know that the only way to achieve my goals is to work on myself, but I can't help but to be annoyed sometimes. I am annoyed with my AH because it's not fair. It's not fair that he so easy walks in and out of my life. How he can say things to me like he never loved me, or he needs no contact with me out of no where...	parfait624	8	465	Feb 7, 2011 by parfait624
	Breaking the habit of focusing on others instead of myself (Preview) It's becoming apparent that one of my biggest issues is my tendency to focus on others instead of myself. Specifically, my wife. But this is a problem that I've had long before I met my wife. It's only through Al Anon and through therapy that I've realized how much this is holding me back. I think being a...	usedtobeanyer	8	4633	Feb 6, 2011 by athabascan indian
	Missing Him the Problem with Detachment (Preview) My AHboyfriend and I started having problems around thanksgiving. He has three years sobriety under his belt and this was our second attempt at the relashionship. Over night everything seemed to fall apart. He I believe is a dry alcoholic. He replaced drinking with playing poker. Serious up a...	parfait624	6	713	Feb 6, 2011 by athabascan indian
	MONDAY A.M. MEETING (Preview) I am unable honor my commitment to chair the Al-Anon meeting Monday morning. Hoping another OP or one of the other members will step up and chair for me. Thanks.	shimo	0	327	Feb 6, 2011 by shimo
	Relieved I'm not the crazy one after all (Preview) It is so comforting to come here and realize how I'm not the crazy or awful one. My ex-boyfriend always told me our relationship problems where all my fault and that I was crazy. The verbal abuse, the lies, the mindgames, etc. literally drove me until I hit my bottom emotionally. I knew he had an addictio...	Stillalive2dream	4	1206	Feb 6, 2011 by janet
	projecting into the future (Preview) It's been awhile since I phoned my former sponsor (from the former state I lived in) but I got to talk with her yesterday. I asked her about her new grandchild... her voice was so full of joy! I told her how I had been fantasizing about becoming a grandmother... even though I am waaay into the future with...	glad lee	4	1107	Feb 6, 2011 by RLC
	scratching the surface of step 2? (Preview) As I mentioned earlier my wife completed a 30 day. I have attended a few meetings. Rationally understanding what I was hearing and honestly trying to state back what I had heard. I was enjoying a period of calm with my wife hoping for her recovery. I was completely focused on her, waiting for her to me...	DadtoCandE	5	890	Feb 6, 2011 by Overcome
	Miracles (Preview) It was so hard, but I placed an ad for Brimley one of my Shi Tzu/Poodles. The first call I got was from a man who is 74. Jim had had to put his only companion down two weeks ago. He cried, tried not to let me know. I told him it is very ok, that my dad cries over his dog he lost too. I took Brim over to meet Jim. Now Jim i...	Debilyn	8	1030	Feb 6, 2011 by Loupiness
	I went to a meeting (Preview) My stomach was in knots all day yesterday because I was so worried about telling my fiance that I was going to a meeting. He had already been drinking by the time I got home from work (as usual). I asked him how he would feel about me going to an al anon meeting. He told me "Do what you have to do,. But I alr...	Irish1	4	779	Feb 5, 2011 by wp
	i'm not even sure if my husband is really an alcoholic (Preview) all i know is that i get a different feeling, mixed emotion of disappointment, sadness, anger whenever my husband would have a drink with his friends. i feel more comfortable if i'm around when he drinks, but it doesn't mean i like what he's doing, i still don't like it. worse is when he would insist to...	jocelgp	7	1022	Feb 5, 2011 by jocelgp
	Control and acceptance (Preview) The topic at my f2f meeting last night was control - specifically, how we stopped trying to control and our awareness of our own attempts to control. Many people mentioned that before they got some recovery, they would tell the addict the same things over and over. Most of the stuff they would say ha...	White Rabbit	5	1039	Feb 5, 2011 by jocelgp
	A bit overshelmed (Preview) I posted a few days ago for the first time and I'm so grateful for the outreach and support. I have spent so much time since then looking for local meetings and have found a few. I know there are more, and I will find times and schedules that work for me. Today is 7 weeks since my youngest took his life. There a...	Sandy_K	5	819	Feb 5, 2011 by Katy
	So, I went to that meeting and did not self-combust... (Preview) but I did feel like I was going to throw up before I walked in.... Here I was just doing the most basic thing for myself - getting some support and I had trouble. I nearly turned around too but I thought of my children and walked in that door. And guess what? It was good. I belong there. Someone even gave...	newleaf66	5	751	Feb 5, 2011 by wp
	Finally went to a meeting (Preview) So... After weeks of procrastinating... I finally went to my first f2f meeting tonight. Yes, I was a bit nervous, not knowing what to expect.. My uneasiness soon faded away. There wasn't alot of people there, but that's ok. They were friendly and reassured me that I wasn't alone. We even went for coff...	Evian	4	580	Feb 5, 2011 by wp
	My uncomfortable journey to step 1... (Preview) I have felt like I was at step 1 for a long time. Really since I first started with Al Anon. As I recall, it was pretty easy for me--I am powerless over my wife's drinking. There's nothing I can do about it. And things were certainly unmanageable. Ok, that was easy. And I felt good about it. It was such a refre...	usedtobeanyer	12	490	Feb 4, 2011 by glad lee
	Another whole layer of denial (& an update) (Preview) Wow I feel like the deeper I dig and work on myself the pain starts to come up faster and worse when I get triggered. I feel like every layer I peel back I realize I'm still in denial about so many things. As an update, it's been 11 months since I asked my AH to leave our house. Our son was 8 months at the time and i...	Goodtillitsbad	4	817	Feb 4, 2011 by Mattie
	Character defect? (Preview) I am human. I know this. I know that we all make mistakes. I need to understand something though...maybe you can help or relate? I believe one of my character defects is something about not wanting to get in trouble. Always trying to save face. I don't know what this comes from, either the sexual a...	sunflowergirl	6	1440	Feb 4, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	Breaking Annonimity on the national morning news. (Preview) On a morning talk show, a woman, covered her face, refused to give her name and made them change her voice and outted the husband and daughter of the woman who killed her two teen kids for being "mouthy". The reporter said that "in an alanon 12 step meeting, Parker Schenecker and his da...	freeagain	5	765	Feb 4, 2011 by Karilynn
	Why did I just even bother? (Preview) Honestly, what was the point of that to try and assertively point out that I feel that I am being constantly being criticised, put down and blamed....what did I get? criticised, put down and blamed....and the wall of denial then a spin back on to me and oh he's leaving my life all together tomorrow with o...	Hayes	10	1018	Feb 4, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	HP On Standby :) (Preview) I find if Funny at times the things that SLAP ya in the face... Old habits and "reactions" that ya "Think" you have conquered...lol... I know before I wouldn't have even gave silly stuff like this a 2nd thought,... But Yesterday, I was Standing in my Shop, With the Husband, Son, &...	Jozie	2	427	Feb 4, 2011 by kitty
	another question for you all... (Preview) So, I am trying to figure out how to get to a f2f meeting. Asking him to watch the kids so I can go seems too confrontational right now. I don't want to make this about him, it's about me. There is a meeting tomorrow, Friday, at 10 am in my town. I could go when the kids (3 of them) are at school. Here is my qu...	newleaf66	6	919	Feb 4, 2011 by abbyal
	It's been awhile... (Preview) Yes it has been quite awhile since I have posted on here, actually just been on here. I don't know exactly why other than I have been having an "easy" time lately and hadn't felt the need to come here. But I have also come to the conclusion that I NEED to come here anyway and read and share. I don't...	wildthang86	2	658	Feb 3, 2011 by Marshmallow
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.