Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

faith84 · faith84

So, after months and months of continuously losing myself, fighting depression, anger, sadness, etc., because of my agony and obsession for my boyfriend's addiction, I finally see the light. I picked up a book for myself (two days ago) called Codependent No More, and was ABSOLUTELY blown away at...

Jozie · Jozie

I was Just Sitting Here thinking... Trying to Pin Point what "Triggers" me on a Daily Basis, wihle in my day, sometimes they are Triggers of Growth, "Ah Moments" I have Triggers of Guilt "Daily", triggers of "Intimacy" Or Lack there of... Growth, I Can be...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi, I've been thinking alot about step one and journaling alot trying to straighten out my thoughts and ideas. Sometimes when i just let my thoughts come out on the page eventually I will begin to make sense (and some times I don't ) Anyway, I realized today that although I can't say my life is unmanageab...

suave75 · suave75

I am having a hard time trusting my ABF. I think the moment he is alone he will pick up a drink or visit the dealer. How do I trust him with money when he has been irresponsible and spent his money all on alcohol/ drugs? He has stolen money out of my purse. He had lied to me. He has manipulated me. I've tried to l...

pinkchip · pinkchip

It seems strangely ironic (although completely sensible) that the main focus in Alanon is to put the focus on yourself, while one of the main points in AA is to stop thinking about yourself so much. How would one achieve balance working both programs? Anyone got suggestions?

kari419 · kari419

Hello All, I am new to this type of group. Unfortunately I'm not new to living with an alcoholic. My husband and I have been together for 7 years with two small boys. I husband is a good man with a very caring heart. He does not drink all the time and due to this it was difficult for me to convince that he was act...

roxygirl · roxygirl

Hi, My question is how do I detach with love from my 27 yr. old son? My son spent 3 months in rehab. and then I thought he was on his way to changing his life and getting on track to be a stable and sober individual. So I allowed him to live with me and my husband for 7 1/2 months until I couldn't take i...

Honeypie · Honeypie

My boyfriend of 2 years is an alcoholic. He was in recovery when I first met him but has been slowing sliding backward drinking first 1 quart of beer after work then 2 then 3. He has had many problems in his life created by drinking. He lost his job at the end of October and has not been able to find work. I hav...

arinna599 · arinna599

Hello, I was married for 11 years to an abusive volitile addict. A few years ago, I divorced him. During the relationship he sexually assaulted me on more than one occasion. He currently works for a prominant treatment facility as an addictions counselor. Though I am within my rights to prosecute hi...

Jennifer · Jennifer

My exah gets out of prison today. The last couple years has been a breeze of concentrating on myself and my program. I am trying not to project. I am having a hard time trying to either not feel or accept feeling this dread that I am about to be tested in so many different ways. Any tool suggestions and ESH...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

Even though I'm frightened about challenges in grad school, I'm grateful I have the chance to do interesting projects that I care about. I am also grateful for those in my life (I am lucky to have a loving and supportive partner, friends, family and faculty advisers) who will accept and support me even...

weggie · weggie

It has started again. My A has been so good that I knew that something was about to happen or explode. He has not had a drink in one month and I told him how proud of him I was and that he can beat this with some help. To make a long story short, he started to drink again every night just a little but now it is bac...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Well on my journey... could not even walk this morn. Like my friend told me, u have used up all the beans in your jar, I said no, i lost all my marbles. She had to come get me, rush me to doc. I had no strength to fight it. Plus I am sick and WANT to get better. doc was great. friend went in with me. All the stuff you a...

clep · clep

After much thought about the situation, I let my A know that I will no longer live with an A that is not in active recovery. Even though he is physically sober, he is mentally not. I let him know it is not in my best interest to live with the progressive insanity that has seeped into our lives and either the i...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Last night AH and I were talking about how I felt about his renewed interest in drinking after 15 years of being sober. As I expressed my position, he grew concerned for me, not for himself and he said he'd get rid of all the alcohol in the house. Now, here was my response: NO, don't do that for me. I don't...

roxygirl · roxygirl

Hi, What are the Al-anon meetings all about? I know in AA you talk about keeping sober and practice a program for sobriety. So what do you learn in Al-anon meetings? Thank you, Roxygirl

RLC · RLC

I want to wish all of you a "Happy Valentine's Day". Enjoy your day ladies. Take care of yourself first..........And most important........ Do something special just for "YOU" today !!!!!!!! Here's A Big "Valentine's Day" HUG, RLC -- Edited by RLC on Monda...

Lizzie Hay · Lizzie Hay

Morning everyone. Just want to pop in for some support as my partner is an alcoholic. :( Anyway. I'll tell you a bit about us. I am in my late 20's and him in his late 30's. I live with my parents and he live with his. It's been like that since we met 5 years ago (his boozing wasn't obvious or so bad back then). I...

delhommefan · delhommefan

Ok maybe I shouldn't use the word crazy to refer to my mom but I am.... Over the weekend my parents very graciously invited my daughter and I to spend the weekend with them at the beach. It was a fun trip and my daughter had a GREAT time...she absolutely adores her grandparents. But the trip was rather de...

faith84 · faith84

I just can't seem to stop. I think about him and his habit constantly. I have read every book I can find on addiction and different effects from different drugs. I am constantly online reading sites on drug abuse, forums and stories. I know and understand that I cannot help him if he does not want to help h...

Imogen421 · Imogen421

Hi there,Things have been going well in my relationship with Alcoholic fiance. He has been making an effort to be sober. And also being very supportive of me with recent health issue I've been frightened about. Tomorrow we are supposed to go away for a night at a hotel for Valentine's day.Now, he has ju...

jadebangle09 · jadebangle09

I am new to this website and forum. My husband did not drink THAT much when we met...I would have called it socially, but then again, I was young (still am), naive (perhaps still am as well) and probably too in love to notice. After we had a baby almost a year and a half ago, his drinking increased and incr...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi, I'm very new to all of this so please be gentle with me . I am just starting to learn about recovery and exploring step one. I agree 100% that I am powerless over alcohol, but I really wouldn't say that my life is "unmanageable". Sure, I have ups and downs just like everyone else, but I have to...

brook2 · brook2

I do not know where to start... I have entered in a relationship with a sober alcoholic (8years sober). After almost three years living together, I have ended it, 4 days ago. .....The first 4 months was a fairytail...Now, I feel so empty and just like my life was sucked out of me. I have never lived wi...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I keep telling myself: I can't control this. I can't control him. I didn't cause this. You all know the drill but none of it is giving me any comfort. I am so d*mn angry; at him, at my dad, at society(for whatever reason, I don't even know right now, LOL), and even at myself because it was my decision to s...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I gotta puncture the airtight bag around this resentment and then turn it over again and again. My wife and I were shopping for floor tiles at the local HomeDepot Store and in the same space was another guy and his partner? wife? spouse...whoever and there were kinda sorta looking at the same stuff as we...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Happy Valentine's Day all - thank you for being here! I've been checking in every day and it is helping to keep me sane . My valentine wrote in his card that he would "try my best to not let you and the kids down". Made me sad. He is trying to moderate his drinking and I feel like I'm waiting for...

Shelly · Shelly

Have made the decision to get A to move out as our situation has gotten not very healthy for us or our four children. Now need the strength to carry my decision through, no excuses even though there are many I could use. I know my children are counting on me to be there for them and that A isn't going to realis...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Sorry just need to have a bit of a rant. I'm a very grateful member of al-anon and working on the steps. hmmm. I'm not good at the moment. I've been off work for the last 5 months with stress, anxiety and depression - my ex wife made a load of false allegations last year and it resulted in having to go back to th...

gingermason · gingermason

I have been married to a very high functioning alcoholic for 22 years. He has never missed work or been late. He makes a very healthy salary and pays all the bills on time. He is military, never had a DUI or any type of negative attention from his drinking. But, by 8 or 9 pm he is often no longer "h...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi Everyone. I'm so happy to be here. Two days ago I found out my husband has been drinking (and hiding it) after 12 years of being sober. He has gotten drunk on several occasions, and I had no clue. He was the designated driver a few times and drove myself and our friends home completly drunk. He put our liv...

Rachel262612 · Rachel262612

Hello, I have been on here before, but never been to actual treatment, I just wanted to share what I have written about my AH. "I feel selfish sometimes for being sad about my life, because so many people have it worse. There is starvation, death, murders and shattered dreams, but no matter how mu...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

So, I work nights/weekends and in order to make my kids safe I sent them to "Nana's" tonight as my AH was insistant on going out (which means drinking and driving). My middle child (9) was really distressed and kept calling my cell. I may have to give up my job to give the kids the support they ne...

messedupmom · messedupmom

I am married for 15 years to the love of my life....or so I thought. He is sober 10 months. The last episode early this year was my last straw. I asked for a separation. However, because of our 3 small children we have continued to live together. It has been terrible. I'm sad every day. I know that I nee...

bekind · bekind

I have been reading the posts here and it is really helpful. I have a 22 year old child that is an alcoholic. There is a court date Monday and I am sure my child will be going to jail. My head tells me this is not a bad thing, but my heart is really struggling with it. We have enabled the drinking by paying la...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, my AH hasn't been drinking much at all and things have been pretty normal around here. That is, until today. I know he likes to drink while I am gone on weekends taking our son to tennis tournaments. I came home early because our son lost his second match and the first thing he says is, "you're...

chelarenee · chelarenee

I am in crises mode. I married a wonderful man in October- since he is from Mexico, we decided to move back to his home town, a huge city called Guadalajara. We have been together for 2 years. We have been here since December, and 3 weeks ago my husband left and started using crack. He was gone for one day, th...

Cross610 · Cross610

Hi everyone,As of late, I have been doing a lot of al-anon reading, working on making boundaries and NOT ultimatums, and accepting my powerlessness over my ABF's addiction. I am working on, and improving in my ability to step back from situations and not have a knee-jerk reaction to try and save him fr...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It has been awhile since I have posted. I am still traveling this journey towards welllness. But today I am very nervous about my mental health. I did get a chance to talk to my counselor but not until after my husband ended up in the hospital on Sunday. He is doing OK but we really had a major scare over his...

Evian · Evian

Today was pretty much like any other day. AH started drinking by 11 am. I just went on with my day, let him do whatever like usual.. Later on in the afternoon with our 8yr old daughter sitting there at the kitchen table, he says to me.. " tell me the truth.. are we fighting a losing battle? can we survi...

Hayes · Hayes

I am so frustrated this morning. What in the hell is he doing again? Okay so its two days after my f2f meeting and what is sticking in my head is the first part of step 1. So I am sitting here trying to remind myself I am powerless. There is nothing I can say or do that's going to change what's happening right no...

B_L · B_L

My girlfriend is an alcoholic, and while she has been in recovery lately, she slipped into a pretty bad relapse this last week or so... I'm sure I'm enabling her to drink, but I don't have enough perspective on things to see how I'm doing it. So let me run down our usual daily routine for y'all, and hop...

swisfun1 · swisfun1

First time writing here but I really need some extra support. My boyfriend has been relapsing for the past year and is now at my house. For the past few days he has been drinking to the point of passing out for a few hours then waking up to drink more. I am emotionally exhausted. I keep telling myself th...

SarahRock · SarahRock

Hi, I'm very conerned about my husband and his drinking. I'm not sure if it should be classified as problem drinking, but it's becoming a problem for me. I worry that my perception is sweked since I don't drink at all - maybe I'm overreacting and have no frame of reference? I don't know. I do know that my...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

It feels sooooo contradictory - maybe I'm not going about this the right way? As I am learning to take care of myself over here, holding boundaries to protect me and the kids, practice loving detachment all while biting my tongue...how do I also let down my guard enough to be affectionate with my AH? I...

knowmadic · knowmadic

if this were a movie, i would run to the airport tomorrow morning and tell him i loved him and that i didn't want him to go and to stay and "let's work things out," but life isn't a movie. life is real. and i just had surgery yesterday to try to conceive with a man who has an addiction problem and i...

athabascan indian · athabascan indian

HI everyone ur thoughts pls..... I was online reading info about emotional abuse last night. Dont know how it came up, Creator I suppose Started to cry out to the Creator, I think becuz I'm in denial that I'm living it today. TO ME!!....how cud that be?!Never thought I wud find myself even askn the qu...

faith84 · faith84

I am new here and this is my first post. I figured it would be best to start by laying it all out on the table. My boyfriend of a year is a drug addict. He is the most amazing man I have ever met. I want to spend my life with him. He is the hardest worker I know, always attentive to my needs, always complimenting me...

delhommefan · delhommefan

I don't know if I really belong here but Al-Anon was suggested to me by a counselor a couple years ago after my ex-husband and I separated and of course, I never listened. Its been 2.5 years since I left him and I still think I am struggling with a lot of issues as a result of our marriage. My ex is not viole...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Last night was the worst night I have had so far. Was being tempted almost beyond my endurance. Here I have a contract, a home to go to, time to get all the way out, owners are very accepting of me and my animals, but I, if I did not have all my dogs in my bed, and love my HP, I kept thinking how I had enough pills to...

Rora · Rora

A while back, while sitting in church, my pastor began to talk about marital love and the commitment of it. He talked about in our society we tend to want the "instant gratification" love, that feels good all the time, that is based on high energy, high reward and not so much on committment a...

McFripp · McFripp

I after years (possibly as far back as 10 years ago, for sure 8) of knowing of a drinking problem my wife had, finally after threating separation or divorce for the past 3 years took the step this past Sept 2010. I was unfamiliar with Al Anon, no direction put was frustrated at seeing her abuse herself wit...

clep · clep

So last night my A let's me know he wants to do more than sleep for once. I was immediately irate. It took everything in me not to scream at him. He voices that he desires me, but does not show that in the slightest. He also voices that he prefers that "sometimes" he chooses to pleasure himsel...

kath · kath

I havent been coming to the board for a while. I have relapsed. I have been in pain for about two weeks now. I have been to a meeting, talked to my sponsor, and read literature. Have been doing the "act as if" or "fake it till you make it". I am still focusing on the incident that happe...

knowmadic · knowmadic

hi, everyone. I just wanted to share my good news with you guys. I separated from my husband almost a month ago when we got in a fight while he was drunk and I ended up calling the cops because of his violent behavior. i have realized my part in acting as the provoker and enabler and have just tried to fix m...

cherish deneen · cherish deneen

Im new here to hilo just 3 months from seattle. I have been drinking a long time and though I sometimes have a good time. The badtimes are more frequent then ever. Ive always drank to have a good time so it makes not alot of sense to continue if im not doing just that. I am an alcoholic and may be looking for a...

RunnerMom · RunnerMom

I am married to an alcoholic. In the past 3 months he has been to outpatient rehab, relapsed badly, promised he wanted and would go to inpatient rehab and after backing out 3 times in 2 weeks I told him he had to leave bc I would not live with him anymore as things were. Long story short, we argued, he assau...

clep · clep

I have been feeling quite strained as I work so much, do a "How it works" Study on Thurs nights, my home group on Wednesday nights, and a Step study out of "Paths to Recovery" on Saturday mornings. I also volunteer about eight hours a week in various places. I am very strapped for...

karlie764 · karlie764

My husband is an alcoholic. Over the past 4 months he has been in and out of treatment facilities. He has not worked for a year and a half. He was recently placed on medications to help with Major Depressive Disorder and stopped that when he went on a bender on Monday, February 7. I do not know what to do...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello, Again, it's been way too long since I've posted, and if I'm going to be honest, way too long since I've been here at all. About 3 months ago, I moved all of my abf's belongings out into the hallway of our apt building (which is our storage area). I hurt every day, and miss him, but I don't miss the cha...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I've realized my co-dependency, probably should NOT have told him! (Preview) So, after months and months of continuously losing myself, fighting depression, anger, sadness, etc., because of my agony and obsession for my boyfriend's addiction, I finally see the light. I picked up a book for myself (two days ago) called Codependent No More, and was ABSOLUTELY blown away at...	faith84	9	800	Feb 17, 2011 by pinkchip
	How Is it??? (Preview) I was Just Sitting Here thinking... Trying to Pin Point what "Triggers" me on a Daily Basis, wihle in my day, sometimes they are Triggers of Growth, "Ah Moments" I have Triggers of Guilt "Daily", triggers of "Intimacy" Or Lack there of... Growth, I Can be...	Jozie	4	655	Feb 16, 2011 by danielle0516
	Step 1 lightbulb moment today (Preview) Hi, I've been thinking alot about step one and journaling alot trying to straighten out my thoughts and ideas. Sometimes when i just let my thoughts come out on the page eventually I will begin to make sense (and some times I don't ) Anyway, I realized today that although I can't say my life is unmanageab...	Aimee	2	902	Feb 16, 2011 by hotrod
	Trusting again.... How do I stop worrying? (Preview) I am having a hard time trusting my ABF. I think the moment he is alone he will pick up a drink or visit the dealer. How do I trust him with money when he has been irresponsible and spent his money all on alcohol/ drugs? He has stolen money out of my purse. He had lied to me. He has manipulated me. I've tried to l...	suave75	8	1097	Feb 16, 2011 by suave75
	Odd contrast (Preview) It seems strangely ironic (although completely sensible) that the main focus in Alanon is to put the focus on yourself, while one of the main points in AA is to stop thinking about yourself so much. How would one achieve balance working both programs? Anyone got suggestions?	pinkchip	7	800	Feb 16, 2011 by pinkchip
	New to this (Preview) Hello All, I am new to this type of group. Unfortunately I'm not new to living with an alcoholic. My husband and I have been together for 7 years with two small boys. I husband is a good man with a very caring heart. He does not drink all the time and due to this it was difficult for me to convince that he was act...	kari419	3	703	Feb 16, 2011 by ilovedogs
	DETACHING WITH LOVE! (Preview) Hi, My question is how do I detach with love from my 27 yr. old son? My son spent 3 months in rehab. and then I thought he was on his way to changing his life and getting on track to be a stable and sober individual. So I allowed him to live with me and my husband for 7 1/2 months until I couldn't take i...	roxygirl	4	1210	Feb 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	Please help me understand (Preview) My boyfriend of 2 years is an alcoholic. He was in recovery when I first met him but has been slowing sliding backward drinking first 1 quart of beer after work then 2 then 3. He has had many problems in his life created by drinking. He lost his job at the end of October and has not been able to find work. I hav...	Honeypie	6	904	Feb 16, 2011 by Honeypie
	a question about amends (Preview) Hello, I was married for 11 years to an abusive volitile addict. A few years ago, I divorced him. During the relationship he sexually assaulted me on more than one occasion. He currently works for a prominant treatment facility as an addictions counselor. Though I am within my rights to prosecute hi...	arinna599	16	1389	Feb 16, 2011 by clep
	Nervous (Preview) My exah gets out of prison today. The last couple years has been a breeze of concentrating on myself and my program. I am trying not to project. I am having a hard time trying to either not feel or accept feeling this dread that I am about to be tested in so many different ways. Any tool suggestions and ESH...	Jennifer	4	760	Feb 16, 2011 by abbyal
	what do you feel glad about today? (Preview) Even though I'm frightened about challenges in grad school, I'm grateful I have the chance to do interesting projects that I care about. I am also grateful for those in my life (I am lucky to have a loving and supportive partner, friends, family and faculty advisers) who will accept and support me even...	Imogen421	6	823	Feb 16, 2011 by pineapple
	I'am Back (Preview) It has started again. My A has been so good that I knew that something was about to happen or explode. He has not had a drink in one month and I told him how proud of him I was and that he can beat this with some help. To make a long story short, he started to drink again every night just a little but now it is bac...	weggie	4	702	Feb 16, 2011 by pinkchip
	I've lost all my marbles (Preview) Well on my journey... could not even walk this morn. Like my friend told me, u have used up all the beans in your jar, I said no, i lost all my marbles. She had to come get me, rush me to doc. I had no strength to fight it. Plus I am sick and WANT to get better. doc was great. friend went in with me. All the stuff you a...	Debilyn	9	812	Feb 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	Set the boundary (Preview) After much thought about the situation, I let my A know that I will no longer live with an A that is not in active recovery. Even though he is physically sober, he is mentally not. I let him know it is not in my best interest to live with the progressive insanity that has seeped into our lives and either the i...	clep	5	683	Feb 15, 2011 by clep
	I said the stupidest thing (Preview) Last night AH and I were talking about how I felt about his renewed interest in drinking after 15 years of being sober. As I expressed my position, he grew concerned for me, not for himself and he said he'd get rid of all the alcohol in the house. Now, here was my response: NO, don't do that for me. I don't...	ilovedogs	8	860	Feb 15, 2011 by Bettina
	QUESTION? (Preview) Hi, What are the Al-anon meetings all about? I know in AA you talk about keeping sober and practice a program for sobriety. So what do you learn in Al-anon meetings? Thank you, Roxygirl	roxygirl	4	647	Feb 15, 2011 by Mandy123
	To All The Ladies Of MIP (Preview) I want to wish all of you a "Happy Valentine's Day". Enjoy your day ladies. Take care of yourself first..........And most important........ Do something special just for "YOU" today !!!!!!!! Here's A Big "Valentine's Day" HUG, RLC -- Edited by RLC on Monda...	RLC	10	1081	Feb 15, 2011 by Jerry F
	Hi, newbie here (Preview) Morning everyone. Just want to pop in for some support as my partner is an alcoholic. :( Anyway. I'll tell you a bit about us. I am in my late 20's and him in his late 30's. I live with my parents and he live with his. It's been like that since we met 5 years ago (his boozing wasn't obvious or so bad back then). I...	Lizzie Hay	5	654	Feb 15, 2011 by stephaniej
	Am I The Crazy One??? (Preview) Ok maybe I shouldn't use the word crazy to refer to my mom but I am.... Over the weekend my parents very graciously invited my daughter and I to spend the weekend with them at the beach. It was a fun trip and my daughter had a GREAT time...she absolutely adores her grandparents. But the trip was rather de...	delhommefan	4	808	Feb 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	I am addicted to his addiction (Preview) I just can't seem to stop. I think about him and his habit constantly. I have read every book I can find on addiction and different effects from different drugs. I am constantly online reading sites on drug abuse, forums and stories. I know and understand that I cannot help him if he does not want to help h...	faith84	7	1367	Feb 15, 2011 by faith84
	React or not, and how? (Preview) Hi there,Things have been going well in my relationship with Alcoholic fiance. He has been making an effort to be sober. And also being very supportive of me with recent health issue I've been frightened about. Tomorrow we are supposed to go away for a night at a hotel for Valentine's day.Now, he has ju...	Imogen421	3	749	Feb 15, 2011 by Imogen421
	AH wants to stop (Preview) I am new to this website and forum. My husband did not drink THAT much when we met...I would have called it socially, but then again, I was young (still am), naive (perhaps still am as well) and probably too in love to notice. After we had a baby almost a year and a half ago, his drinking increased and incr...	jadebangle09	7	736	Feb 15, 2011 by jadebangle09
	What does unmanageable mean to you? (Preview) Hi, I'm very new to all of this so please be gentle with me . I am just starting to learn about recovery and exploring step one. I agree 100% that I am powerless over alcohol, but I really wouldn't say that my life is "unmanageable". Sure, I have ups and downs just like everyone else, but I have to...	Aimee	6	3271	Feb 15, 2011 by Aimee
	Please need help (Preview) I do not know where to start... I have entered in a relationship with a sober alcoholic (8years sober). After almost three years living together, I have ended it, 4 days ago. .....The first 4 months was a fairytail...Now, I feel so empty and just like my life was sucked out of me. I have never lived wi...	brook2	3	775	Feb 14, 2011 by Merianne
	Why am I so angry? (Preview) I keep telling myself: I can't control this. I can't control him. I didn't cause this. You all know the drill but none of it is giving me any comfort. I am so d*mn angry; at him, at my dad, at society(for whatever reason, I don't even know right now, LOL), and even at myself because it was my decision to s...	ilovedogs	9	969	Feb 14, 2011 by RLC
	You just gotta be kidding!! (Preview) I gotta puncture the airtight bag around this resentment and then turn it over again and again. My wife and I were shopping for floor tiles at the local HomeDepot Store and in the same space was another guy and his partner? wife? spouse...whoever and there were kinda sorta looking at the same stuff as we...	Jerry F	15	757	Feb 14, 2011 by Jozie
	stay in the day (Preview) Happy Valentine's Day all - thank you for being here! I've been checking in every day and it is helping to keep me sane . My valentine wrote in his card that he would "try my best to not let you and the kids down". Made me sad. He is trying to moderate his drinking and I feel like I'm waiting for...	newleaf66	1	672	Feb 14, 2011 by hotrod
	Needing strength to carry through (Preview) Have made the decision to get A to move out as our situation has gotten not very healthy for us or our four children. Now need the strength to carry my decision through, no excuses even though there are many I could use. I know my children are counting on me to be there for them and that A isn't going to realis...	Shelly	3	1200	Feb 14, 2011 by Loupiness
	Unhappy, Lonely, Sad, Flat. (Preview) Sorry just need to have a bit of a rant. I'm a very grateful member of al-anon and working on the steps. hmmm. I'm not good at the moment. I've been off work for the last 5 months with stress, anxiety and depression - my ex wife made a load of false allegations last year and it resulted in having to go back to th...	jitsuka	4	1237	Feb 14, 2011 by jitsuka
	New and feeling lost (Preview) I have been married to a very high functioning alcoholic for 22 years. He has never missed work or been late. He makes a very healthy salary and pays all the bills on time. He is military, never had a DUI or any type of negative attention from his drinking. But, by 8 or 9 pm he is often no longer "h...	gingermason	7	819	Feb 14, 2011 by Jerry F
	New to Recovery After 12 Years of Denial. (Preview) Hi Everyone. I'm so happy to be here. Two days ago I found out my husband has been drinking (and hiding it) after 12 years of being sober. He has gotten drunk on several occasions, and I had no clue. He was the designated driver a few times and drove myself and our friends home completly drunk. He put our liv...	Aimee	1	976	Feb 14, 2011 by Jerry F
	what I have written about my AH and life (Preview) Hello, I have been on here before, but never been to actual treatment, I just wanted to share what I have written about my AH. "I feel selfish sometimes for being sad about my life, because so many people have it worse. There is starvation, death, murders and shattered dreams, but no matter how mu...	Rachel262612	7	823	Feb 13, 2011 by Rachel262612
	did you have to change your job? (Preview) So, I work nights/weekends and in order to make my kids safe I sent them to "Nana's" tonight as my AH was insistant on going out (which means drinking and driving). My middle child (9) was really distressed and kept calling my cell. I may have to give up my job to give the kids the support they ne...	newleaf66	6	798	Feb 13, 2011 by newleaf66
	Please help me (Preview) I am married for 15 years to the love of my life....or so I thought. He is sober 10 months. The last episode early this year was my last straw. I asked for a separation. However, because of our 3 small children we have continued to live together. It has been terrible. I'm sad every day. I know that I nee...	messedupmom	9	815	Feb 13, 2011 by messedupmom
	Dreading Monday (Preview) I have been reading the posts here and it is really helpful. I have a 22 year old child that is an alcoholic. There is a court date Monday and I am sure my child will be going to jail. My head tells me this is not a bad thing, but my heart is really struggling with it. We have enabled the drinking by paying la...	bekind	5	815	Feb 13, 2011 by Janin906
	Help me keep my mouth shut! (Preview) So, my AH hasn't been drinking much at all and things have been pretty normal around here. That is, until today. I know he likes to drink while I am gone on weekends taking our son to tennis tournaments. I came home early because our son lost his second match and the first thing he says is, "you're...	ilovedogs	16	1280	Feb 13, 2011 by ilovedogs
	Husband is an addict- help!!! (Preview) I am in crises mode. I married a wonderful man in October- since he is from Mexico, we decided to move back to his home town, a huge city called Guadalajara. We have been together for 2 years. We have been here since December, and 3 weeks ago my husband left and started using crack. He was gone for one day, th...	chelarenee	13	870	Feb 13, 2011 by chelarenee
	How to handle the sadness? Advice needed... (Preview) Hi everyone,As of late, I have been doing a lot of al-anon reading, working on making boundaries and NOT ultimatums, and accepting my powerlessness over my ABF's addiction. I am working on, and improving in my ability to step back from situations and not have a knee-jerk reaction to try and save him fr...	Cross610	9	5910	Feb 13, 2011 by gingermason
	seems like...just when things are getting better... (Preview) It has been awhile since I have posted. I am still traveling this journey towards welllness. But today I am very nervous about my mental health. I did get a chance to talk to my counselor but not until after my husband ended up in the hospital on Sunday. He is doing OK but we really had a major scare over his...	Hoot Nanny	2	636	Feb 13, 2011 by Debilyn
	Hoping I'm doing everything right (Preview) Today was pretty much like any other day. AH started drinking by 11 am. I just went on with my day, let him do whatever like usual.. Later on in the afternoon with our 8yr old daughter sitting there at the kitchen table, he says to me.. " tell me the truth.. are we fighting a losing battle? can we survi...	Evian	4	947	Feb 13, 2011 by White Rabbit
	I am powerless (Preview) I am so frustrated this morning. What in the hell is he doing again? Okay so its two days after my f2f meeting and what is sticking in my head is the first part of step 1. So I am sitting here trying to remind myself I am powerless. There is nothing I can say or do that's going to change what's happening right no...	Hayes	12	1149	Feb 13, 2011 by Myrtie
	I Want to Stop Enabling, But Don't Know How (Preview) My girlfriend is an alcoholic, and while she has been in recovery lately, she slipped into a pretty bad relapse this last week or so... I'm sure I'm enabling her to drink, but I don't have enough perspective on things to see how I'm doing it. So let me run down our usual daily routine for y'all, and hop...	B_L	9	1453	Feb 12, 2011 by glad lee
	need some guidance (Preview) First time writing here but I really need some extra support. My boyfriend has been relapsing for the past year and is now at my house. For the past few days he has been drinking to the point of passing out for a few hours then waking up to drink more. I am emotionally exhausted. I keep telling myself th...	swisfun1	3	833	Feb 12, 2011 by suave75
	New Here - Very Uncertain (Preview) Hi, I'm very conerned about my husband and his drinking. I'm not sure if it should be classified as problem drinking, but it's becoming a problem for me. I worry that my perception is sweked since I don't drink at all - maybe I'm overreacting and have no frame of reference? I don't know. I do know that my...	SarahRock	6	922	Feb 12, 2011 by suave75
	how do you reconcile the loneliness? (Preview) It feels sooooo contradictory - maybe I'm not going about this the right way? As I am learning to take care of myself over here, holding boundaries to protect me and the kids, practice loving detachment all while biting my tongue...how do I also let down my guard enough to be affectionate with my AH? I...	newleaf66	9	1431	Feb 12, 2011 by likemyheart
	facing reality... (Preview) if this were a movie, i would run to the airport tomorrow morning and tell him i loved him and that i didn't want him to go and to stay and "let's work things out," but life isn't a movie. life is real. and i just had surgery yesterday to try to conceive with a man who has an addiction problem and i...	knowmadic	3	913	Feb 12, 2011 by Bettina
	Denial about emotional abuse maybe?? (Preview) HI everyone ur thoughts pls..... I was online reading info about emotional abuse last night. Dont know how it came up, Creator I suppose Started to cry out to the Creator, I think becuz I'm in denial that I'm living it today. TO ME!!....how cud that be?!Never thought I wud find myself even askn the qu...	athabascan indian	9	1097	Feb 12, 2011 by athabascan indian
	I feel so lost! (Preview) I am new here and this is my first post. I figured it would be best to start by laying it all out on the table. My boyfriend of a year is a drug addict. He is the most amazing man I have ever met. I want to spend my life with him. He is the hardest worker I know, always attentive to my needs, always complimenting me...	faith84	11	1023	Feb 12, 2011 by hotrod
	Not Sure if I'm in the Right Place... (Preview) I don't know if I really belong here but Al-Anon was suggested to me by a counselor a couple years ago after my ex-husband and I separated and of course, I never listened. Its been 2.5 years since I left him and I still think I am struggling with a lot of issues as a result of our marriage. My ex is not viole...	delhommefan	5	817	Feb 12, 2011 by Jerry F
	Question,serious (Preview) Last night was the worst night I have had so far. Was being tempted almost beyond my endurance. Here I have a contract, a home to go to, time to get all the way out, owners are very accepting of me and my animals, but I, if I did not have all my dogs in my bed, and love my HP, I kept thinking how I had enough pills to...	Debilyn	9	1388	Feb 11, 2011 by DreamsOver
	Divorcing with love... (Preview) A while back, while sitting in church, my pastor began to talk about marital love and the commitment of it. He talked about in our society we tend to want the "instant gratification" love, that feels good all the time, that is based on high energy, high reward and not so much on committment a...	Rora	8	917	Feb 11, 2011 by DadtoCandE
	Did I jump the gun??? (Preview) I after years (possibly as far back as 10 years ago, for sure 8) of knowing of a drinking problem my wife had, finally after threating separation or divorce for the past 3 years took the step this past Sept 2010. I was unfamiliar with Al Anon, no direction put was frustrated at seeing her abuse herself wit...	McFripp	12	1068	Feb 11, 2011 by McFripp
	Trying to feel positive about A, but failing (Preview) So last night my A let's me know he wants to do more than sleep for once. I was immediately irate. It took everything in me not to scream at him. He voices that he desires me, but does not show that in the slightest. He also voices that he prefers that "sometimes" he chooses to pleasure himsel...	clep	5	791	Feb 11, 2011 by clep
	I am only as sick as my secrets (Preview) I havent been coming to the board for a while. I have relapsed. I have been in pain for about two weeks now. I have been to a meeting, talked to my sponsor, and read literature. Have been doing the "act as if" or "fake it till you make it". I am still focusing on the incident that happe...	kath	4	1019	Feb 11, 2011 by hotrod
	good news...this program works! :) (Preview) hi, everyone. I just wanted to share my good news with you guys. I separated from my husband almost a month ago when we got in a fight while he was drunk and I ended up calling the cops because of his violent behavior. i have realized my part in acting as the provoker and enabler and have just tried to fix m...	knowmadic	2	628	Feb 11, 2011 by hotrod
	Drinking sucks (Preview) Im new here to hilo just 3 months from seattle. I have been drinking a long time and though I sometimes have a good time. The badtimes are more frequent then ever. Ive always drank to have a good time so it makes not alot of sense to continue if im not doing just that. I am an alcoholic and may be looking for a...	cherish deneen	1	672	Feb 11, 2011 by Jerry F
	New here and at a fork in the road (Preview) I am married to an alcoholic. In the past 3 months he has been to outpatient rehab, relapsed badly, promised he wanted and would go to inpatient rehab and after backing out 3 times in 2 weeks I told him he had to leave bc I would not live with him anymore as things were. Long story short, we argued, he assau...	RunnerMom	11	1015	Feb 10, 2011 by VickieB
	More time for me (Preview) I have been feeling quite strained as I work so much, do a "How it works" Study on Thurs nights, my home group on Wednesday nights, and a Step study out of "Paths to Recovery" on Saturday mornings. I also volunteer about eight hours a week in various places. I am very strapped for...	clep	1	548	Feb 10, 2011 by pineapple
	New subscriber (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic. Over the past 4 months he has been in and out of treatment facilities. He has not worked for a year and a half. He was recently placed on medications to help with Major Depressive Disorder and stopped that when he went on a bender on Monday, February 7. I do not know what to do...	karlie764	11	804	Feb 10, 2011 by Jerry F
	Right or wrong (Preview) Hello, Again, it's been way too long since I've posted, and if I'm going to be honest, way too long since I've been here at all. About 3 months ago, I moved all of my abf's belongings out into the hallway of our apt building (which is our storage area). I hurt every day, and miss him, but I don't miss the cha...	liljeannie	7	776	Feb 10, 2011 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.