Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I keep telling myself: I can't control this. I can't control him. I didn't cause this. You all know the drill but none of it is giving me any comfort. I am so d*mn angry; at him, at my dad, at society(for whatever reason, I don't even know right now, LOL), and even at myself because it was my decision to s...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I gotta puncture the airtight bag around this resentment and then turn it over again and again. My wife and I were shopping for floor tiles at the local HomeDepot Store and in the same space was another guy and his partner? wife? spouse...whoever and there were kinda sorta looking at the same stuff as we...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Happy Valentine's Day all - thank you for being here! I've been checking in every day and it is helping to keep me sane . My valentine wrote in his card that he would "try my best to not let you and the kids down". Made me sad. He is trying to moderate his drinking and I feel like I'm waiting for...

Shelly · Shelly

Have made the decision to get A to move out as our situation has gotten not very healthy for us or our four children. Now need the strength to carry my decision through, no excuses even though there are many I could use. I know my children are counting on me to be there for them and that A isn't going to realis...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Sorry just need to have a bit of a rant. I'm a very grateful member of al-anon and working on the steps. hmmm. I'm not good at the moment. I've been off work for the last 5 months with stress, anxiety and depression - my ex wife made a load of false allegations last year and it resulted in having to go back to th...

gingermason · gingermason

I have been married to a very high functioning alcoholic for 22 years. He has never missed work or been late. He makes a very healthy salary and pays all the bills on time. He is military, never had a DUI or any type of negative attention from his drinking. But, by 8 or 9 pm he is often no longer "h...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi Everyone. I'm so happy to be here. Two days ago I found out my husband has been drinking (and hiding it) after 12 years of being sober. He has gotten drunk on several occasions, and I had no clue. He was the designated driver a few times and drove myself and our friends home completly drunk. He put our liv...

Rachel262612 · Rachel262612

Hello, I have been on here before, but never been to actual treatment, I just wanted to share what I have written about my AH. "I feel selfish sometimes for being sad about my life, because so many people have it worse. There is starvation, death, murders and shattered dreams, but no matter how mu...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

So, I work nights/weekends and in order to make my kids safe I sent them to "Nana's" tonight as my AH was insistant on going out (which means drinking and driving). My middle child (9) was really distressed and kept calling my cell. I may have to give up my job to give the kids the support they ne...

messedupmom · messedupmom

I am married for 15 years to the love of my life....or so I thought. He is sober 10 months. The last episode early this year was my last straw. I asked for a separation. However, because of our 3 small children we have continued to live together. It has been terrible. I'm sad every day. I know that I nee...

bekind · bekind

I have been reading the posts here and it is really helpful. I have a 22 year old child that is an alcoholic. There is a court date Monday and I am sure my child will be going to jail. My head tells me this is not a bad thing, but my heart is really struggling with it. We have enabled the drinking by paying la...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, my AH hasn't been drinking much at all and things have been pretty normal around here. That is, until today. I know he likes to drink while I am gone on weekends taking our son to tennis tournaments. I came home early because our son lost his second match and the first thing he says is, "you're...

chelarenee · chelarenee

I am in crises mode. I married a wonderful man in October- since he is from Mexico, we decided to move back to his home town, a huge city called Guadalajara. We have been together for 2 years. We have been here since December, and 3 weeks ago my husband left and started using crack. He was gone for one day, th...

Cross610 · Cross610

Hi everyone,As of late, I have been doing a lot of al-anon reading, working on making boundaries and NOT ultimatums, and accepting my powerlessness over my ABF's addiction. I am working on, and improving in my ability to step back from situations and not have a knee-jerk reaction to try and save him fr...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It has been awhile since I have posted. I am still traveling this journey towards welllness. But today I am very nervous about my mental health. I did get a chance to talk to my counselor but not until after my husband ended up in the hospital on Sunday. He is doing OK but we really had a major scare over his...

Evian · Evian

Today was pretty much like any other day. AH started drinking by 11 am. I just went on with my day, let him do whatever like usual.. Later on in the afternoon with our 8yr old daughter sitting there at the kitchen table, he says to me.. " tell me the truth.. are we fighting a losing battle? can we survi...

Hayes · Hayes

I am so frustrated this morning. What in the hell is he doing again? Okay so its two days after my f2f meeting and what is sticking in my head is the first part of step 1. So I am sitting here trying to remind myself I am powerless. There is nothing I can say or do that's going to change what's happening right no...

B_L · B_L

My girlfriend is an alcoholic, and while she has been in recovery lately, she slipped into a pretty bad relapse this last week or so... I'm sure I'm enabling her to drink, but I don't have enough perspective on things to see how I'm doing it. So let me run down our usual daily routine for y'all, and hop...

swisfun1 · swisfun1

First time writing here but I really need some extra support. My boyfriend has been relapsing for the past year and is now at my house. For the past few days he has been drinking to the point of passing out for a few hours then waking up to drink more. I am emotionally exhausted. I keep telling myself th...

SarahRock · SarahRock

Hi, I'm very conerned about my husband and his drinking. I'm not sure if it should be classified as problem drinking, but it's becoming a problem for me. I worry that my perception is sweked since I don't drink at all - maybe I'm overreacting and have no frame of reference? I don't know. I do know that my...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

It feels sooooo contradictory - maybe I'm not going about this the right way? As I am learning to take care of myself over here, holding boundaries to protect me and the kids, practice loving detachment all while biting my tongue...how do I also let down my guard enough to be affectionate with my AH? I...

knowmadic · knowmadic

if this were a movie, i would run to the airport tomorrow morning and tell him i loved him and that i didn't want him to go and to stay and "let's work things out," but life isn't a movie. life is real. and i just had surgery yesterday to try to conceive with a man who has an addiction problem and i...

athabascan indian · athabascan indian

HI everyone ur thoughts pls..... I was online reading info about emotional abuse last night. Dont know how it came up, Creator I suppose Started to cry out to the Creator, I think becuz I'm in denial that I'm living it today. TO ME!!....how cud that be?!Never thought I wud find myself even askn the qu...

faith84 · faith84

I am new here and this is my first post. I figured it would be best to start by laying it all out on the table. My boyfriend of a year is a drug addict. He is the most amazing man I have ever met. I want to spend my life with him. He is the hardest worker I know, always attentive to my needs, always complimenting me...

delhommefan · delhommefan

I don't know if I really belong here but Al-Anon was suggested to me by a counselor a couple years ago after my ex-husband and I separated and of course, I never listened. Its been 2.5 years since I left him and I still think I am struggling with a lot of issues as a result of our marriage. My ex is not viole...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Last night was the worst night I have had so far. Was being tempted almost beyond my endurance. Here I have a contract, a home to go to, time to get all the way out, owners are very accepting of me and my animals, but I, if I did not have all my dogs in my bed, and love my HP, I kept thinking how I had enough pills to...

Rora · Rora

A while back, while sitting in church, my pastor began to talk about marital love and the commitment of it. He talked about in our society we tend to want the "instant gratification" love, that feels good all the time, that is based on high energy, high reward and not so much on committment a...

McFripp · McFripp

I after years (possibly as far back as 10 years ago, for sure 8) of knowing of a drinking problem my wife had, finally after threating separation or divorce for the past 3 years took the step this past Sept 2010. I was unfamiliar with Al Anon, no direction put was frustrated at seeing her abuse herself wit...

clep · clep

So last night my A let's me know he wants to do more than sleep for once. I was immediately irate. It took everything in me not to scream at him. He voices that he desires me, but does not show that in the slightest. He also voices that he prefers that "sometimes" he chooses to pleasure himsel...

kath · kath

I havent been coming to the board for a while. I have relapsed. I have been in pain for about two weeks now. I have been to a meeting, talked to my sponsor, and read literature. Have been doing the "act as if" or "fake it till you make it". I am still focusing on the incident that happe...

knowmadic · knowmadic

hi, everyone. I just wanted to share my good news with you guys. I separated from my husband almost a month ago when we got in a fight while he was drunk and I ended up calling the cops because of his violent behavior. i have realized my part in acting as the provoker and enabler and have just tried to fix m...

cherish deneen · cherish deneen

Im new here to hilo just 3 months from seattle. I have been drinking a long time and though I sometimes have a good time. The badtimes are more frequent then ever. Ive always drank to have a good time so it makes not alot of sense to continue if im not doing just that. I am an alcoholic and may be looking for a...

RunnerMom · RunnerMom

I am married to an alcoholic. In the past 3 months he has been to outpatient rehab, relapsed badly, promised he wanted and would go to inpatient rehab and after backing out 3 times in 2 weeks I told him he had to leave bc I would not live with him anymore as things were. Long story short, we argued, he assau...

clep · clep

I have been feeling quite strained as I work so much, do a "How it works" Study on Thurs nights, my home group on Wednesday nights, and a Step study out of "Paths to Recovery" on Saturday mornings. I also volunteer about eight hours a week in various places. I am very strapped for...

karlie764 · karlie764

My husband is an alcoholic. Over the past 4 months he has been in and out of treatment facilities. He has not worked for a year and a half. He was recently placed on medications to help with Major Depressive Disorder and stopped that when he went on a bender on Monday, February 7. I do not know what to do...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello, Again, it's been way too long since I've posted, and if I'm going to be honest, way too long since I've been here at all. About 3 months ago, I moved all of my abf's belongings out into the hallway of our apt building (which is our storage area). I hurt every day, and miss him, but I don't miss the cha...

KimmyJo · KimmyJo

Well the first week of the AH home from rehab,Laid out all of my boundaries LOUD & CLEAR. #1 We talked about them and within hours, he broke thru my boundary. Not understanding a word I just said...UGGGG. They were important boundaries regarding contact with my children... I told him, he needed t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well it's been a long time since I have been here. Lots and lots of things have changed for me and I wish I could say life has gotten easier but in reality it is getting harder and harder. I believe this is mainly because I'm capable of paying attention now and taking action to do something about situatio...

member922 · member922

Well, I guess I kind of knew this would happen. Just because the smoking by ABF is not done right in front of me, it doesn't mean it's not affecting me. I don't think this is going to work as far as a future with him goes. Our opposite schedules and his constant smoking makes me see the bleak future. Ugh. ...

yuckfaster · yuckfaster

Hi everyone -- I need some advice here. My live-in gf is a serious alcoholic who also has an intense anger problem. This toxic combination is compounded by bouts of paranoia that accompany her drinking. Most days, her drinking makes her extremely comabtive and accusatory. If we are at a restaurant...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Owners were very nice. Worked hard fixing a few things, took some junk away. I was laying on a feather bed with a feather comforter and a feather pillow in the cabin. Reading Leo Buscaglia about challenges, joy and something else. I took notes, and soaked it in. Was waiting for the owners to show up. Anyw...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hi - just checking in - I am new to my recovery but I held a boundary and I am proud of myself so I wanted to share. I had set a boundary that AH could not go out when I was to go to work (I work the overnight shift). I told him he's been unsafe when caring for the children in the past and if I am not there I do not trus...

Karleyb75 · Karleyb75

So, I am new to this message board. I've never really talked much about my situation, but I feel like this may help me to figure things out. I am 25 years old. I have lived my whole life with addicts. My dad has been a drug addict for the majority of his life. He has been in and out of rehabs several times and has...

seeking1 · seeking1

Just wondering when there is love or if thier is too much love.Situation when it fitss when somone is falling down in an adiction and hit rock bottom .do we regret ourselves for loving too much or not enoughlove any opinions on this. Also what about controlling love and how far to push it?

Loupiness · Loupiness

I've posted previously that my 17.5 yr old son is staying with a friend. The mom offered for him to stay there, essentially a decision made without my direct consent, other than I did say that if he couldn't live by my rules he couldn't live with me. My ex said the same. Though it is not the best place, it...

blga · blga

Hello - I am new to this board but have attended some alanon meetings in the past. Married 15 years, husband never drank until year 9, has been drinking most of the last 6 with 6 treatments during that time. We have finally just separated which is what I have "threatened" for 6 years but neve...

B_L · B_L

Howdy all, I need some guidance. My girlfriend is an alcoholic, and on again off again in recovery. I want nothing more than to marry her and raise a family (eventually), but have decided it's a bad idea until she can get her drinking under control. I don't even know if she can go nine days without a drink,...

Jerry F · Jerry F

It was sometime before that date that I came into Al-Anon angry and sick. My spouse was in the other room with her new sponsor. She was new to AA and I was angry, resentful and jealous. She dared to have a group of people do what it was that I could not...change her drinking style, habit, addiction. Her...

maresie · maresie

I had a number of resentments against a now former colleague of mine. He left the job I am currently working at 3 months ago. Of course I still held onto those resentments and polished them up. While I knew he was seriously neglecting himself I most of the time fell for his notion that he was a highly educ...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I am meeting the owners today up there. My throat is blocked. ugh. deep breaths. am so nervous. They have sounded great thru email and on the phone. I am hoping once this hurdle is done I will feel better. Limbo is NOT for me. Need to make a home, rest, heal and learn to be happy again. New Kingdom Hall is exci...

MVP · MVP

I don't know why but maybe I am doing too much. Expecting too much. My 21 year old AD is in recovery, living home, doing her program as best I can tell. But she seems to shut me out, be offended that I may not trust her, seems annoyed I request a text and have her check in. She does live in our home, drive our car...

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

Well it seems moving on happens gradually and when we least expect it. After 7 years (3 1/2 of them sober, but not sure how he is now), manipulation, lies and cheating that come along with it, not to mention suspected sociopathy by his part.....I've finally snapped out of it the day (Last Monday) he wa...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Heard that in my Al Anon meeting tonight. Wow, really took my breath away. I posted the other day about how I have focused completely on my wife and not at all on myself. Why did she say that? Why did she do that? Why didn't she say/do that? It's been that way since we met. It's a wonder she married me. One of m...

Debilyn · Debilyn

People sorta quietly disappear. Just wondered.... deb

DreamXL · DreamXL

Is anyone else having a problem getting into the meeting room?

Katy · Katy

Doooooooooo do do do, yep thats where I am at, for me it's all the little nitty gritty things,like making decisions and not getting into the whole head convo with myself thingy, and also I have a terrible habit of always wanting to justify myself, gotta do more practice on using simple solutions for com...

Jozie · Jozie

Soooo... Tomorrow is D Day... I guess it has been on my mind more today then it has, but it hasn't been an Easy week so far and its only Monday :( I know that I will be Fine, or at least that is what I keep telling myself...but a Few Glitches in my Expectations left me feeling depleated a touch... Saturday afte...

casa · casa

I have an event tonight at my kiddo's school so I most likely won't be here to chair tonight's meeting. It would be great if someone could cover for me. Thanks!

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

So I have a long drive to work every day and my son was with me. I could tell from his body language (I am an expert in that department) that he was upset about having to stay at his step-dad's house and I really wanted to help get to the bottom of why. I asked him about what goes on there, if his step dad (the fa...

Katy · Katy

I was dealing with, I think it would be fair to say I was in my late forties and only through haunting these boards and my thirst for perfection and my huge ego, and out of control will, did I start to know, that now I did know although I cannot change the past, I can certainly change my future, at the moment I a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Why am I so angry? (Preview) I keep telling myself: I can't control this. I can't control him. I didn't cause this. You all know the drill but none of it is giving me any comfort. I am so d*mn angry; at him, at my dad, at society(for whatever reason, I don't even know right now, LOL), and even at myself because it was my decision to s...	ilovedogs	9	938	Feb 14, 2011 by RLC
	You just gotta be kidding!! (Preview) I gotta puncture the airtight bag around this resentment and then turn it over again and again. My wife and I were shopping for floor tiles at the local HomeDepot Store and in the same space was another guy and his partner? wife? spouse...whoever and there were kinda sorta looking at the same stuff as we...	Jerry F	15	728	Feb 14, 2011 by Jozie
	stay in the day (Preview) Happy Valentine's Day all - thank you for being here! I've been checking in every day and it is helping to keep me sane . My valentine wrote in his card that he would "try my best to not let you and the kids down". Made me sad. He is trying to moderate his drinking and I feel like I'm waiting for...	newleaf66	1	641	Feb 14, 2011 by hotrod
	Needing strength to carry through (Preview) Have made the decision to get A to move out as our situation has gotten not very healthy for us or our four children. Now need the strength to carry my decision through, no excuses even though there are many I could use. I know my children are counting on me to be there for them and that A isn't going to realis...	Shelly	3	1168	Feb 14, 2011 by Loupiness
	Unhappy, Lonely, Sad, Flat. (Preview) Sorry just need to have a bit of a rant. I'm a very grateful member of al-anon and working on the steps. hmmm. I'm not good at the moment. I've been off work for the last 5 months with stress, anxiety and depression - my ex wife made a load of false allegations last year and it resulted in having to go back to th...	jitsuka	4	1207	Feb 14, 2011 by jitsuka
	New and feeling lost (Preview) I have been married to a very high functioning alcoholic for 22 years. He has never missed work or been late. He makes a very healthy salary and pays all the bills on time. He is military, never had a DUI or any type of negative attention from his drinking. But, by 8 or 9 pm he is often no longer "h...	gingermason	7	788	Feb 14, 2011 by Jerry F
	New to Recovery After 12 Years of Denial. (Preview) Hi Everyone. I'm so happy to be here. Two days ago I found out my husband has been drinking (and hiding it) after 12 years of being sober. He has gotten drunk on several occasions, and I had no clue. He was the designated driver a few times and drove myself and our friends home completly drunk. He put our liv...	Aimee	1	944	Feb 14, 2011 by Jerry F
	what I have written about my AH and life (Preview) Hello, I have been on here before, but never been to actual treatment, I just wanted to share what I have written about my AH. "I feel selfish sometimes for being sad about my life, because so many people have it worse. There is starvation, death, murders and shattered dreams, but no matter how mu...	Rachel262612	7	792	Feb 13, 2011 by Rachel262612
	did you have to change your job? (Preview) So, I work nights/weekends and in order to make my kids safe I sent them to "Nana's" tonight as my AH was insistant on going out (which means drinking and driving). My middle child (9) was really distressed and kept calling my cell. I may have to give up my job to give the kids the support they ne...	newleaf66	6	763	Feb 13, 2011 by newleaf66
	Please help me (Preview) I am married for 15 years to the love of my life....or so I thought. He is sober 10 months. The last episode early this year was my last straw. I asked for a separation. However, because of our 3 small children we have continued to live together. It has been terrible. I'm sad every day. I know that I nee...	messedupmom	9	787	Feb 13, 2011 by messedupmom
	Dreading Monday (Preview) I have been reading the posts here and it is really helpful. I have a 22 year old child that is an alcoholic. There is a court date Monday and I am sure my child will be going to jail. My head tells me this is not a bad thing, but my heart is really struggling with it. We have enabled the drinking by paying la...	bekind	5	783	Feb 13, 2011 by Janin906
	Help me keep my mouth shut! (Preview) So, my AH hasn't been drinking much at all and things have been pretty normal around here. That is, until today. I know he likes to drink while I am gone on weekends taking our son to tennis tournaments. I came home early because our son lost his second match and the first thing he says is, "you're...	ilovedogs	16	1214	Feb 13, 2011 by ilovedogs
	Husband is an addict- help!!! (Preview) I am in crises mode. I married a wonderful man in October- since he is from Mexico, we decided to move back to his home town, a huge city called Guadalajara. We have been together for 2 years. We have been here since December, and 3 weeks ago my husband left and started using crack. He was gone for one day, th...	chelarenee	13	837	Feb 13, 2011 by chelarenee
	How to handle the sadness? Advice needed... (Preview) Hi everyone,As of late, I have been doing a lot of al-anon reading, working on making boundaries and NOT ultimatums, and accepting my powerlessness over my ABF's addiction. I am working on, and improving in my ability to step back from situations and not have a knee-jerk reaction to try and save him fr...	Cross610	9	5580	Feb 13, 2011 by gingermason
	seems like...just when things are getting better... (Preview) It has been awhile since I have posted. I am still traveling this journey towards welllness. But today I am very nervous about my mental health. I did get a chance to talk to my counselor but not until after my husband ended up in the hospital on Sunday. He is doing OK but we really had a major scare over his...	Hoot Nanny	2	603	Feb 13, 2011 by Debilyn
	Hoping I'm doing everything right (Preview) Today was pretty much like any other day. AH started drinking by 11 am. I just went on with my day, let him do whatever like usual.. Later on in the afternoon with our 8yr old daughter sitting there at the kitchen table, he says to me.. " tell me the truth.. are we fighting a losing battle? can we survi...	Evian	4	914	Feb 13, 2011 by White Rabbit
	I am powerless (Preview) I am so frustrated this morning. What in the hell is he doing again? Okay so its two days after my f2f meeting and what is sticking in my head is the first part of step 1. So I am sitting here trying to remind myself I am powerless. There is nothing I can say or do that's going to change what's happening right no...	Hayes	12	1119	Feb 13, 2011 by Myrtie
	I Want to Stop Enabling, But Don't Know How (Preview) My girlfriend is an alcoholic, and while she has been in recovery lately, she slipped into a pretty bad relapse this last week or so... I'm sure I'm enabling her to drink, but I don't have enough perspective on things to see how I'm doing it. So let me run down our usual daily routine for y'all, and hop...	B_L	9	1421	Feb 12, 2011 by glad lee
	need some guidance (Preview) First time writing here but I really need some extra support. My boyfriend has been relapsing for the past year and is now at my house. For the past few days he has been drinking to the point of passing out for a few hours then waking up to drink more. I am emotionally exhausted. I keep telling myself th...	swisfun1	3	800	Feb 12, 2011 by suave75
	New Here - Very Uncertain (Preview) Hi, I'm very conerned about my husband and his drinking. I'm not sure if it should be classified as problem drinking, but it's becoming a problem for me. I worry that my perception is sweked since I don't drink at all - maybe I'm overreacting and have no frame of reference? I don't know. I do know that my...	SarahRock	6	891	Feb 12, 2011 by suave75
	how do you reconcile the loneliness? (Preview) It feels sooooo contradictory - maybe I'm not going about this the right way? As I am learning to take care of myself over here, holding boundaries to protect me and the kids, practice loving detachment all while biting my tongue...how do I also let down my guard enough to be affectionate with my AH? I...	newleaf66	9	1399	Feb 12, 2011 by likemyheart
	facing reality... (Preview) if this were a movie, i would run to the airport tomorrow morning and tell him i loved him and that i didn't want him to go and to stay and "let's work things out," but life isn't a movie. life is real. and i just had surgery yesterday to try to conceive with a man who has an addiction problem and i...	knowmadic	3	863	Feb 12, 2011 by Bettina
	Denial about emotional abuse maybe?? (Preview) HI everyone ur thoughts pls..... I was online reading info about emotional abuse last night. Dont know how it came up, Creator I suppose Started to cry out to the Creator, I think becuz I'm in denial that I'm living it today. TO ME!!....how cud that be?!Never thought I wud find myself even askn the qu...	athabascan indian	9	1066	Feb 12, 2011 by athabascan indian
	I feel so lost! (Preview) I am new here and this is my first post. I figured it would be best to start by laying it all out on the table. My boyfriend of a year is a drug addict. He is the most amazing man I have ever met. I want to spend my life with him. He is the hardest worker I know, always attentive to my needs, always complimenting me...	faith84	11	993	Feb 12, 2011 by hotrod
	Not Sure if I'm in the Right Place... (Preview) I don't know if I really belong here but Al-Anon was suggested to me by a counselor a couple years ago after my ex-husband and I separated and of course, I never listened. Its been 2.5 years since I left him and I still think I am struggling with a lot of issues as a result of our marriage. My ex is not viole...	delhommefan	5	778	Feb 12, 2011 by Jerry F
	Question,serious (Preview) Last night was the worst night I have had so far. Was being tempted almost beyond my endurance. Here I have a contract, a home to go to, time to get all the way out, owners are very accepting of me and my animals, but I, if I did not have all my dogs in my bed, and love my HP, I kept thinking how I had enough pills to...	Debilyn	9	1355	Feb 11, 2011 by DreamsOver
	Divorcing with love... (Preview) A while back, while sitting in church, my pastor began to talk about marital love and the commitment of it. He talked about in our society we tend to want the "instant gratification" love, that feels good all the time, that is based on high energy, high reward and not so much on committment a...	Rora	8	885	Feb 11, 2011 by DadtoCandE
	Did I jump the gun??? (Preview) I after years (possibly as far back as 10 years ago, for sure 8) of knowing of a drinking problem my wife had, finally after threating separation or divorce for the past 3 years took the step this past Sept 2010. I was unfamiliar with Al Anon, no direction put was frustrated at seeing her abuse herself wit...	McFripp	12	1039	Feb 11, 2011 by McFripp
	Trying to feel positive about A, but failing (Preview) So last night my A let's me know he wants to do more than sleep for once. I was immediately irate. It took everything in me not to scream at him. He voices that he desires me, but does not show that in the slightest. He also voices that he prefers that "sometimes" he chooses to pleasure himsel...	clep	5	758	Feb 11, 2011 by clep
	I am only as sick as my secrets (Preview) I havent been coming to the board for a while. I have relapsed. I have been in pain for about two weeks now. I have been to a meeting, talked to my sponsor, and read literature. Have been doing the "act as if" or "fake it till you make it". I am still focusing on the incident that happe...	kath	4	970	Feb 11, 2011 by hotrod
	good news...this program works! :) (Preview) hi, everyone. I just wanted to share my good news with you guys. I separated from my husband almost a month ago when we got in a fight while he was drunk and I ended up calling the cops because of his violent behavior. i have realized my part in acting as the provoker and enabler and have just tried to fix m...	knowmadic	2	599	Feb 11, 2011 by hotrod
	Drinking sucks (Preview) Im new here to hilo just 3 months from seattle. I have been drinking a long time and though I sometimes have a good time. The badtimes are more frequent then ever. Ive always drank to have a good time so it makes not alot of sense to continue if im not doing just that. I am an alcoholic and may be looking for a...	cherish deneen	1	643	Feb 11, 2011 by Jerry F
	New here and at a fork in the road (Preview) I am married to an alcoholic. In the past 3 months he has been to outpatient rehab, relapsed badly, promised he wanted and would go to inpatient rehab and after backing out 3 times in 2 weeks I told him he had to leave bc I would not live with him anymore as things were. Long story short, we argued, he assau...	RunnerMom	11	973	Feb 10, 2011 by VickieB
	More time for me (Preview) I have been feeling quite strained as I work so much, do a "How it works" Study on Thurs nights, my home group on Wednesday nights, and a Step study out of "Paths to Recovery" on Saturday mornings. I also volunteer about eight hours a week in various places. I am very strapped for...	clep	1	517	Feb 10, 2011 by pineapple
	New subscriber (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic. Over the past 4 months he has been in and out of treatment facilities. He has not worked for a year and a half. He was recently placed on medications to help with Major Depressive Disorder and stopped that when he went on a bender on Monday, February 7. I do not know what to do...	karlie764	11	773	Feb 10, 2011 by Jerry F
	Right or wrong (Preview) Hello, Again, it's been way too long since I've posted, and if I'm going to be honest, way too long since I've been here at all. About 3 months ago, I moved all of my abf's belongings out into the hallway of our apt building (which is our storage area). I hurt every day, and miss him, but I don't miss the cha...	liljeannie	7	742	Feb 10, 2011 by Jerry F
	Boundary Was Broken (NEXT STEP PLEASE) (Preview) Well the first week of the AH home from rehab,Laid out all of my boundaries LOUD & CLEAR. #1 We talked about them and within hours, he broke thru my boundary. Not understanding a word I just said...UGGGG. They were important boundaries regarding contact with my children... I told him, he needed t...	KimmyJo	5	841	Feb 10, 2011 by maresie
	Update on Carolinagirl (Preview) Well it's been a long time since I have been here. Lots and lots of things have changed for me and I wish I could say life has gotten easier but in reality it is getting harder and harder. I believe this is mainly because I'm capable of paying attention now and taking action to do something about situatio...	carolinagirl	3	749	Feb 10, 2011 by maresie
	Having a hard time (Preview) Well, I guess I kind of knew this would happen. Just because the smoking by ABF is not done right in front of me, it doesn't mean it's not affecting me. I don't think this is going to work as far as a future with him goes. Our opposite schedules and his constant smoking makes me see the bleak future. Ugh. ...	member922	3	791	Feb 10, 2011 by member922
	Protect or stand firm? (Preview) Hi everyone -- I need some advice here. My live-in gf is a serious alcoholic who also has an intense anger problem. This toxic combination is compounded by bouts of paranoia that accompany her drinking. Most days, her drinking makes her extremely comabtive and accusatory. If we are at a restaurant...	yuckfaster	5	716	Feb 10, 2011 by Debilyn
	We have a home... (Preview) Owners were very nice. Worked hard fixing a few things, took some junk away. I was laying on a feather bed with a feather comforter and a feather pillow in the cabin. Reading Leo Buscaglia about challenges, joy and something else. I took notes, and soaked it in. Was waiting for the owners to show up. Anyw...	Debilyn	2	595	Feb 10, 2011 by kath
	baby steps (Preview) Hi - just checking in - I am new to my recovery but I held a boundary and I am proud of myself so I wanted to share. I had set a boundary that AH could not go out when I was to go to work (I work the overnight shift). I told him he's been unsafe when caring for the children in the past and if I am not there I do not trus...	newleaf66	5	770	Feb 10, 2011 by newleaf66
	Unsure of what to do? (Preview) So, I am new to this message board. I've never really talked much about my situation, but I feel like this may help me to figure things out. I am 25 years old. I have lived my whole life with addicts. My dad has been a drug addict for the majority of his life. He has been in and out of rehabs several times and has...	Karleyb75	2	733	Feb 10, 2011 by hotrod
	Love vs too much love? (Preview) Just wondering when there is love or if thier is too much love.Situation when it fitss when somone is falling down in an adiction and hit rock bottom .do we regret ourselves for loving too much or not enoughlove any opinions on this. Also what about controlling love and how far to push it?	seeking1	2	556	Feb 10, 2011 by Rora
	Tough love is just that.. (Preview) I've posted previously that my 17.5 yr old son is staying with a friend. The mom offered for him to stay there, essentially a decision made without my direct consent, other than I did say that if he couldn't live by my rules he couldn't live with me. My ex said the same. Though it is not the best place, it...	Loupiness	0	580	Feb 10, 2011 by Loupiness
	New Here - alcoholic moved out - why the hell am I crying? (Preview) Hello - I am new to this board but have attended some alanon meetings in the past. Married 15 years, husband never drank until year 9, has been drinking most of the last 6 with 6 treatments during that time. We have finally just separated which is what I have "threatened" for 6 years but neve...	blga	9	1280	Feb 10, 2011 by pinkchip
	Possibly Having Children With an Alcoholic (Preview) Howdy all, I need some guidance. My girlfriend is an alcoholic, and on again off again in recovery. I want nothing more than to marry her and raise a family (eventually), but have decided it's a bad idea until she can get her drinking under control. I don't even know if she can go nine days without a drink,...	B_L	7	1024	Feb 9, 2011 by Rora
	Feb., 8th 1979 (Preview) It was sometime before that date that I came into Al-Anon angry and sick. My spouse was in the other room with her new sponsor. She was new to AA and I was angry, resentful and jealous. She dared to have a group of people do what it was that I could not...change her drinking style, habit, addiction. Her...	Jerry F	8	942	Feb 9, 2011 by Rora
	resentments (Preview) I had a number of resentments against a now former colleague of mine. He left the job I am currently working at 3 months ago. Of course I still held onto those resentments and polished them up. While I knew he was seriously neglecting himself I most of the time fell for his notion that he was a highly educ...	maresie	5	738	Feb 9, 2011 by hotrod
	signing today (Preview) I am meeting the owners today up there. My throat is blocked. ugh. deep breaths. am so nervous. They have sounded great thru email and on the phone. I am hoping once this hurdle is done I will feel better. Limbo is NOT for me. Need to make a home, rest, heal and learn to be happy again. New Kingdom Hall is exci...	Debilyn	2	567	Feb 9, 2011 by pineapple
	AD in recovery.. seems to take it out on me (Preview) I don't know why but maybe I am doing too much. Expecting too much. My 21 year old AD is in recovery, living home, doing her program as best I can tell. But she seems to shut me out, be offended that I may not trust her, seems annoyed I request a text and have her check in. She does live in our home, drive our car...	MVP	2	711	Feb 9, 2011 by pinkchip
	Moving on happens when we least expect it..... (Preview) Well it seems moving on happens gradually and when we least expect it. After 7 years (3 1/2 of them sober, but not sure how he is now), manipulation, lies and cheating that come along with it, not to mention suspected sociopathy by his part.....I've finally snapped out of it the day (Last Monday) he wa...	RoseODAT	2	968	Feb 9, 2011 by newleaf66
	"If you spot it, you got it" (Preview) Heard that in my Al Anon meeting tonight. Wow, really took my breath away. I posted the other day about how I have focused completely on my wife and not at all on myself. Why did she say that? Why did she do that? Why didn't she say/do that? It's been that way since we met. It's a wonder she married me. One of m...	usedtobeanyer	8	1403	Feb 9, 2011 by stephaniej
	Where did that Yankee guy go? (Preview) People sorta quietly disappear. Just wondered.... deb	Debilyn	3	742	Feb 9, 2011 by Sweet Stanley
	meeting room? (Preview) Is anyone else having a problem getting into the meeting room?	DreamXL	1	407	Feb 9, 2011 by LarryWhiteford
	The Now what stage? (Preview) Doooooooooo do do do, yep thats where I am at, for me it's all the little nitty gritty things,like making decisions and not getting into the whole head convo with myself thingy, and also I have a terrible habit of always wanting to justify myself, gotta do more practice on using simple solutions for com...	Katy	1	587	Feb 9, 2011 by knowmadic
	Coming up D Day.... (Preview) Soooo... Tomorrow is D Day... I guess it has been on my mind more today then it has, but it hasn't been an Easy week so far and its only Monday :( I know that I will be Fine, or at least that is what I keep telling myself...but a Few Glitches in my Expectations left me feeling depleated a touch... Saturday afte...	Jozie	4	1389	Feb 8, 2011 by Jozie
	Mtg chair needed for tonight (Tues) (Preview) I have an event tonight at my kiddo's school so I most likely won't be here to chair tonight's meeting. It would be great if someone could cover for me. Thanks!	casa	0	401	Feb 8, 2011 by casa
	Long talk with my 14 year old son (Preview) So I have a long drive to work every day and my son was with me. I could tell from his body language (I am an expert in that department) that he was upset about having to stay at his step-dad's house and I really wanted to help get to the bottom of why. I asked him about what goes on there, if his step dad (the fa...	sunflowergirl	3	924	Feb 8, 2011 by sunflowergirl
	During the time, I didn't know, that I didn't know, just what? (Preview) I was dealing with, I think it would be fair to say I was in my late forties and only through haunting these boards and my thirst for perfection and my huge ego, and out of control will, did I start to know, that now I did know although I cannot change the past, I can certainly change my future, at the moment I a...	Katy	3	768	Feb 8, 2011 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.