The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I don't know why but maybe I am doing too much. Expecting too much. My 21 year old AD is in recovery, living home, doing her program as best I can tell. But she seems to shut me out, be offended that I may not trust her, seems annoyed I request a text and have her check in. She does live in our home, drive our car and I am so grateful that she is staying sober. I try not to take it personal but Yikes. It stings.
Aloha Maria...and welcome to MIP I hope you look up the hotline number for Al-Anon in your local telephone book and make plans to get to the first one you can. Get to literature table there also and check out the books and pamphlets that are available to the friends, family, parents, associates of alcoholics and addicts.
I started my own journey with fear, expectations of my alcoholic/addict wife, lack of trust and a severe lack of awareness about the disease and what worked well for others who had been in my position also. The solutions arre in the program.
An alcoholic/addict in recovery is only chemical free to start with and struggling for some kind of new way of living (if they want it) and still have the ability to get nervous angry, edgy, oppositional and more. Yes you are still invested...home, car, phone etc, in her and just for me if that makes you frightened and paranoid it might be better to keep those things to yourself and have her depend on support from the people in her program otherwise you will be getting more of what you're getting now.
I hope you get to an open face to face meeting soon and keep coming back here.
You can set boundaries with her. She doesn't get to treat you like crap just cuz she's in recovery. I won't tell you what to do of course, but a big part of my personal recovery (speaking as a recovering alcoholic here) was that I needed to be held accountable and to grow up.
