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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> So, I went to that meeting and did not self-combust...
Post Info TOPIC: So, I went to that meeting and did not self-combust...
newleaf66


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So, I went to that meeting and did not self-combust...
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but I did feel like I was going to throw up before I walked in....

Here I was just doing the most basic thing for myself - getting some support and I had trouble.  I nearly turned around too but I thought of my children and walked in that door.  And guess what?  It was good.  I belong there.  Someone even gave me a gift of welcome (a serenity prayer plaque).

I listened and just absorbed the love and caring in that room.  I know it will take a LONG time for me to be able to speak but that's ok.  Right now I need to be a sponge and learn. 

I was not able to hang around afterwards as was suggested here.  Maybe next time.  I was a bit overwhelmed today and high-tailed it outa there...

Anyway, the first step is the hardest and I have made that first step in this journey.  The discussion today was on loving detachment which was perfect for me to hear.  Lots to think about.

Just last night I was trying to lovingly detach as I watched the clock on a work night waiting for my AH to come home from an event in town.  Pretended to be completely absorbed in a book when he came in.  Bit my tongue until it bled.

Thanks for reading.



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Kelly

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence...." Desiderata
glad lee


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Yep, you never have to go to your First Meeting ever again, you did it! I am smiling.

I relate to your feelings, I didn't want ANY of it... didn't want my husband to be an alcoholic, didn't want to have to change myself, didn't want to have to go to meetings, didn't want to be with "them." I was sooo sour when I arrived. I was willing to commit to one meeting a week. When not much was happening, it was suggested that I go to one every day for awhile..... long story short, I couldn't believe the peace that resulted. It just takes over after awhile, as you said... like a sponge. 

My suggestion is to not let that sponge dry out... keep going as often as you can. That's how you'll locate someone who has what you want... a sponsor put me into high gear.  Then it was like I didn't "have to go" to a meeting.......  I "get to go." 

Welcome! It gets better, you can trust the program.



-- Edited by glad lee on Friday 4th of February 2011 12:32:45 PM


-- Edited by glad lee on Friday 4th of February 2011 10:48:16 PM

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RLC


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(((Kelly)))

Glad you went, enjoyed, and absorbed.

There's a page in the "Courage To Change" book on "detaching with love" that goes something like this.

Detachment is stepping over your alcoholic, passed out on the bedroom floor and going to bed.

Detaching with Love is placing a blanket over him, then stepping over him and going to bed.

HUGS,
RLC

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newleaf66


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Phew,..


Yes, Glad Lee, I am annoyed that I "have to do this". I don't have time, I don't have the problem, I am not like "these people", blah, blah, blah, blah.

A little voice inside is saying..."you will find the time, you most definately do have a problem, and furthermore, you are blessed that "these people" will be here for you"


But, really, I think what I am is relieved, and grateful. I can so do this.

RLC, I like that bit about detaching with love. I actually just purchased that book so I will look for the reference.

On with my day....

K

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Kelly

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence...." Desiderata
Jerry F


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Yay new leaf!!  You found out that some fears were unfounded.  There is so much
more to find out now and you have to keep coming back to find them out.  Sorry
about your tongue.  That is one thing I don't think I ever did for my alcoholic...bleed.
Maybe I've just forgot.  Yay again.   (((((hugs))))) smile

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wp


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So proud of you and happy for your first step forward.

Hope and serenity to you
wp

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