The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello - I am new to this board but have attended some alanon meetings in the past. Married 15 years, husband never drank until year 9, has been drinking most of the last 6 with 6 treatments during that time. We have finally just separated which is what I have "threatened" for 6 years but never followed thru with. Now I am filled with self doubt, anger & crying like I have lost everything. I can't understand it. I think I haven't loved him for years and yet here I am balling like a baby. What the heck? Going to see a counselor tomorrow to try to sort these feelings out. Any suggestions?
Why the hell are you crying? Because it's a major change in your life. And because you're human. The only suggestion I have is to take care of yourself. Attend some alanon meetings, if you can't get to a face-to-face meeting, there are meetings here online. Be good to yourself. I'm so glad you found this place. Keep coming back, the people here care. You are not alone. ((((((blga)))))
I am so sorry that you are in such pain and understand completely the tears, the anger the devastation caused by thes disease of alcoholism. You married and planned a life with someone. A dreadful disease invaded your home and tainted everything , including yourself. Of coarse you are crying You are entitled to .
Please know that there is help and hope here and in the rooms of alanon. You are not alone
Please look in the white pages for al anon meetings in your area Usually there is a Main Number to call . We also have meetings here every day and a 24/7 chat
It is very important ot break the isolation Please keep coming back
I cried like a baby (big boys don't cry) from grief and the feeling that some monster reached into my chest and ripped my heart out. Of course the monster was the disease of alcoholism. Might want to see if it is also from the loss of having invested so much of yourself in him and he walked off with it. Sucks...Sucks...Sucks. Take it to a meeting and if you have a sponsor...coffee in the quietest booth of a local coffee house. Keep coming back (((((hugs)))))
hello and welcome , I suspect your grieving what could have been should have been . it seems no matter how crappy a relationship is when its over reality sinks and and we realize we are now alone . with or without him you too need to recover from the effects of someone elses drinking , please find Al-Anon meetings for yourself and you will find the support you need . Al-Anon and counceling work great together between the two you will find answers to your questions .. get the focus on you and regardless of what happens you will be okay . Louise
Thanks for all your thoughts & hugs. I know the pain is a bit of everything mentioned here. I don't feel that I can go to local alanon meetings. I am in a fairly small community. I am a highly visible business owner of a "happy" business and well known in the community. (part of the reason I am so good at putting a smile on when I am feeling pain) - I have gone to alanon meetings in the past & know far too many people there - I am not ashamed because I know it is not my fault and yet to share your pain with people you do business with is just too difficult to separate for me. I have a few close friends, and lots of supportive family (who never see me cry & have been shocked recently with my show of emotions) tough on the outside but truly struggling inside. I have a appt with a counselor today to try to sort out some of my thoughts. Family & my attorney are pressuring me to file the papers, and I just need to in my heart sort things out before I take that step. He is out of the house and I have some time to listen, talk & sort things out in my head before proceeding. Can anyone suggest a book or site with articles for me? I have read the day to day books you get in alanon..unfortunately I donated them to another person in need after the husband's 4th treatment which I honestly thought worked at the time. Perhaps I need to find more copies. I feel like I have found some new friends here. thank you.
I would suggest our ODAT , our first daily reader , How Al-Anon works , and our newer book Discoverying choices , also making Crisis work for you is awsome . and if you go to the official web site of Al-Anon , click on the language u prefer and look for the link to pod casts , lots of topics to choose from and real people sharring thier stories of recovery , I hope u reconsider going back to meetings for yourself , trust the anonymity its a safe place , I too had my own business and for me those program people became my clients and helped my business grow . ya never know Louise
Hi...stay strong. That's what I keep telling myself. I left after 6 years of threatening, too. New house, different neighborhood and trying to still figure out why I had to be the one to leave, not him. Tonight I'm working and the thought of going home to that new house is actually frightening. I go to the meetings and I know several people in them. It's anonymous for a reason...we NEVER talk about anything outside of that safe place. Try again...it's comforting to be with others who share the pain...Good luck...we all wish you well. Jayne
At some point the need for help outweighs what people might think and the "impression" you are trying to keep up. It's okay to get help and nobody in your family or your town would expect you to be superwoman while going througha divorce. Cut yourself a break. It's okay to have feelings and to get help.
