Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

chinup · chinup

took my whole day in court with him back in forth i had to hunt down my witness ,all for nothing the law had the dates mixed up when he actually sliced my brand new tires it had been a yr ago and i couldnt remember took them that long to catch up with him on some other charges that his boss bailed him out of,but b...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My AS was lashing out last night when he can't get what he wants from me, telling me that I didn't raise him right and that is why his life is in the tank now. I know that he was loved, cared for, we were not perfect (he was our first child), we were young and viewed life in a very simple way. I know how they talk...

Red Hawk · Red Hawk

The last several days, the internal pressure's been building up again. I was aware of it, but thought I was controlling it pretty well and everything was fine. Then yesterday, I made a comment to a co-worker which apparently was far nastier than I realized. Not the comment itself (although I shouldn...

alexious79 · alexious79

I'm new here. I dont know who else to talk to. My partner has started to drink again after 10 weeks of being dry. I'm so so upset as I dont want it to go back to how it was. In the past 10 weeks, I had my best friend back, I fell back in love and had butterflies. I couldnt wait for him to wake up in the morning so I coul...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I cannot say enough how wonderful it is to have meetings to get to and actually go to. Just having that connection for an hour and a half last night was enough to keep me going for the rest of the week. I got to the Monday night meeting and then last night as well. The people that I know that I have been calli...

Otie · Otie

Just remember in the winter Far beneath the bitter snows Lies the seed that with the sun's love In the spring becomes the rose From the song, "THE ROSE" title track to 1979 film. starring Bette Midler. Based on life of Janis Joplin, who died from heroine overdose in 1971 at age of 27. S...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Its good to be here, thankyou. Thank you all for your support and E S and H over the last few days. I feel much better today. I have been speaking with my alanon friend and reading my literature and reading on here. I have realized today that staying calm is really the only way to deal with someone who is...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi all.. the other night I went to my parents after work to pick up my daugher, she wanted to stay for dinner, we went back to first feed and bring our dog over. When we returned, we all ate outside for the first time this year - all of us minus my mom. Me, my sister, my dad, my daugher and my niece had a nice dinne...

GratefulOne · GratefulOne

I was recently cheated on by the love of my life because of her addiction to alcohol and prescription drugs.. In the past I have always worked with her to get better but the actions were never as severe as this time. I have boundaries and this time my boundary was broken. I was prepared to never see this...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

This is just a suggestion (and not advice ): I have a document file that I keep on my computer and everytime I read something on this board, or hear something at one of my Alanon meetings, that really inspires me or that I don't want to forget, I copy and paste, or add, the statement into my document. That wa...

sameoldstuff · sameoldstuff

I just found this site yesterday, i love it! my therapist has been telling me to go to alanon meetings for months, me being an adult child of a and having ah seemed to think i knew what was best and didn't need those meetings. Boy have i learned alot in just a couple of days of reading. Everyone is so supporti...

walkingthrubluebonnets · walkingthrubluebonnets

I didn't realize that updating a thread wouldn't bump it, so I'm starting a new thread to let you guys know what's transpired. Just for a refresher, the thread was about ED issues in the recovering alcoholic (specifically my H). Since I posted, my husband injured his back (for the second time) and had...

glad lee · glad lee

Taking Care of Ourselves It's healthy, wise, and loving to be considerate and responsive to the feelings and needs of others. That's different from caretaking. Caretaking is a self-defeating and, certainly, a relationship defeating behavior - a behavior that backfires and can cause us to feel re...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

So I went to a f2f meeting today for the very first time. I cried almost the whole time but was still too scared to share in front of everyone. I hope that I will have more courage in the future. I just wish I knew what to say. I dont want to upset anyone or say the wrong thing if that makes any sense. Any advice?

Ashap · Ashap

This is a great site. It helps to know there are people who have experienced some of the same things I have. Thank you all for your encouraging words and stories. I know I have to make some choices. I'm not really sure where to start, but it helps to know there are people who understand. -- Edited by Ash...

Aloha · Aloha

I've been feeling a bit spiritually devoid lately. Every now and then, I find a rut that looks welcoming and comfortable - the path is well worn. It's familiar, I don't have to "work" to get to where I'm wanting to go. That's been my life for the past month or so, it seems. Same routine most days...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I wish Linbaba was in my AH's homegroup..... I wish Tom, RLC, hotrod, pinkchip, etc. you know? you ALL have such wisdom - I wish my H could get from you what I have gotten. Egads I wish he would hear all the pain of us enablers, wish he would have all the years of experience offered to him through people like L...

hopenfaith · hopenfaith

Today is day 4 since my husband has been off the alcohol. As I watch him load his little container with vitamin pills this morning, my heart broke for him. For the longest time, I blamed him for not quitting because I thought he had control of it and he just didnt' want to quit but for the first time, I saw him...

walkingthrubluebonnets · walkingthrubluebonnets

Hi Everyone, I'm new here. I've had alcoholics in my life, my whole life. My grandfather, my father, my exH. My current H is someone that I've been friends with for 17 years and my first and true love. He also is an alcoholic, although recovering. When he wanted to marry me a few years ago, I said no. I...

likemyheart · likemyheart

A little background: A few years ago my AH was diagnosed with a heart defect, Aortic Stenosis, Mild (as opposed to acute); ever since then, even though the battery of tests they did showed no heart blockages, no reasons for any worry, hes latched onto the diagnosis whenever it has suited him to do so to g...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I have been out of town for ten days and I have got to tell you guys it is good to be home. It is such a nice feeling to be "unplugged" away from the computer and being able to burn time without worrying about being late or needing to get to "there" and stressed because I have not left &q...

Aimee · Aimee

Ok, here's my dilemma. During my AH's relapse he had 2 one-night-stands with two seperate women. Both of these women are now involved in a casual relationship with my brother-in-law (Yes, I am painfully aware how twisted this is....) So last night was the first time, since I became aware of the infede...

mslouise · mslouise

Hello all - well, it's been about 1 year since I have heard from my ex-abf. (after five years of hell). I've forgave, but not forgotten which seems to be the problem. some days are good...today is a very good day. Some days are a struggle. I suffered from severe Anxiety and Panic attacks when with th...

youfoundme · youfoundme

There is an interesting thing going on when my bf drinks. I am not sure what it is, but it has only been happening the last 7 weeks that he drinks to a certain point. He suddenly gets really red in the face, anywhere that he ever had a scar turns deep red (even old bug bite spots), and he can't breathe well. ...

Megthompson · Megthompson

Hi all, Its been a while since I have been here.Tonight is hard for me.I had to tell my 2 drinking children that they are not welcome to stay in my house with my youngest 18 year old daughter who doesn't have a drinking problem, while I am out of town attending my brothers wedding for 9 days.It was really har...

sierramorningstar · sierramorningstar

My parntner is an alchoholic, who has quit drinking. He quit about a year ago on his own accord, but since then has relapsed several times. Everytime he gets really angry he wants to, and sometimes he breaks down and does. Even though he has quit he still displays a lot of alchoholic patterns. He is very d...

Soobie · Soobie

Need encouragement. Recently filed for divorce from AH. With 3 kids (who all have busy summer schedules) and a full time job, have not found time to attend a meeting. Closest meeting is 30 miles away. I have been feeling very alone and trying to hold it together for my kids, but every free moment I ha...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife has fallen into a deep hole of depression. She's been unable to get out of bed for most of the last 3 days. She's always struggled with depression and had a few depressive episodes like this in the past, however this is the first really major, debilitating one like this since we have known each oth...

hopenfaith · hopenfaith

Hello everyone, I found my husband sitting in his favorite chair in the garage again this past weekend with that same look in his eyes. "I'm sorry I am a failure to you", he said as he started sobbing. At that very moment, I knew he had been drinking. He had been drinking all day long here and the...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I found this forum a couple of weeks ago and have been "lurking" ever since. I am reposting this message that I had previously posted in response to canadianguy's post regarding "lurkers." I didn't realize that my user name could be found on search engines, so I am reposting thi...

canadianguy · canadianguy

This is a message to all the lurkers out there (and there are many of you) - who come here to read and learn, but have not yet posted your story or questions/concerns.... I wanted to say...... WELCOME! - and please feel free to stay as long as you want! This is a great site, with tons of awesome people on bo...

chinup · chinup

who in gods green earth wouldnt jump at the chance to go to england ive always wanted to go,plus my kids being there is another thing,something must be really wrong with me its gotta be mental......chinup.......odat

John · John

C'on people... Databases at Banks are hacked, Sony's database of xbox and PS3 purchasers was hacked... military and government databases are hacked... And yet, we expect we will throw our full names, addresses, phone numbers, email addresses, place of employment.. blah, blah, blah, into cybers...

Revok · Revok

Never been too good at lurking, I prefer to jump right in. So here goes. My brother started drinking when he was 14, that was 20 years ago. My parents have both been sober and in AA for over 20 years, and my methods for dealing with my brother come from what they have tought me. They moved out of state a few...

chinup · chinup

my 1st time to ever fly so, my daughter in england calls me wit saying she is getting me a ticket round trip at a fdecent price,ill get on a plane in memphis and fly out to canada,then from canada onto england my daughter has never been to canada so doesnt know how it is,we r trying to find out how big the airpo...

MDK · MDK

Hello, I am new to MIP but I have been in Alanon for 3 years. I am married to a recovering alcoholic and he completed rehab 3 years ago and has not had a drop of alcohol since then, but he has smoked pot, stole my medication (adderall), and bought pills (benzos). I have found this to become stressful althoug...

spc75 · spc75

I have been in Al-Anon for about 2 years and have decided to divorce my AH. I spent a great deal of time making sure my motives were seeking a divorce were honest and not out of frustration, spite, or control. We are still living in the same house and I have been fairly ok with everything, but for the past 2 da...

chinup · chinup

says if my depression is that bad then maybe i should go check myself into the hospital,and she came online to ask me if i could make arrangements to come,that she was ver hurt over all this i told her i was even more hurt over it,then i thought about getting some antidepressants from my dr samples so i got m...

chinup · chinup

i woke up 3am crying ,id been obsessing over and over about it and would wake up scared,but,the real reason for my not going is my depression hasnt gotten worse along with anxiety im having problems getting my right meds and daughter sprung this on me all in one min.i typed her a really long letter of reas...

Otie · Otie

I admit that for the past few days I have been wandering into the AA message board of MIP. At first I felt a little odd (guilty, I guess) as if I was evesdropping on private conversations----but, apparently we are free to do so. I know that there are some members of this board who are dual members. I alwa...

onewildflower · onewildflower

I am so sick to my stomach. Yesterday was our 6 month mark for being married. We're still newly weds. I have noticed that my husband drinks alot when he drinks. He does not think that he does, the problem is though he hides how much he drinks. He will drink wine in front of me but then hide the vodka he dr...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

A little update.... The day I told the ex that I would not take a polygraph test, the rehab's social told him that he needed to go to the sober living house after his 28-day stay. In addition, his counselor had advised him that he needs to be evaluated by a psychiatrist for his delusions. It was all too mu...

Jozie · Jozie

Well as Most know I have been Seriously struggling with Juggling everyday life here of late, and I was saying that i needed just a Small 'time out' to feel strong enough to go on... Well I ask, and I Recieved in Full This past week has been nothing short of stressful, But on the Up side of things, this past we...

Marisa · Marisa

My husband's uncle is an alcoholic. He has been in and out of rehab the past few years. He refuses to follow reccomendations and just last Friday left a treatment facility after doing 3 days of detox. He says he doesn't want to do treatment, doesn't need AA, can do it on his own, blah, blah, blah..... I'...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Well, today was a pretty stressful day.. My A brother is getting worse and worse as time goes by. He is in pretty rough shape at age 50 and my mother who has breast cancer has been crippling him forever. She babies him to no end. It is absolutely sickening to watch. I have mentioned Alanon but for her she say...

oldergal · oldergal

"I had/have a big fear of losing my compassion thru detachment. I am beginning to understand, though, that my first concepts of detachment were erroneous. It seems that it doesn't make sense (completely) until you actually start practicing it." It does seem confusing Otie, I have be...

Jozie · Jozie

Did ya Ever get so Tired ya Just forgot Who & What you were and are suppose to be heading tords? I got my Calendar out, and in the last 6 WEEKS.... there has been 2 days that I did not Have Something on the Schedule to do after, putting in my 40hr work wk... I keep thinking what can I cut? and Honestly can't c...

chinup · chinup

i need lots of encouragement on flying and being so far away from home in england and im here in mississippi.everytime i go to sleep and wake up i keep having these horible dreams about flying and everything untill i come to reality,im somewhat ok right now.but daughter has to have an answer by tomorrow...

shimo · shimo

I am having a series of tests at the hospital that began last Monday morning, June 6 and continues tomorrow morning June 13, and the morning of June 27. I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled Monday meetings for these dates. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair for me. Thanks.

Corgi2 · Corgi2

I don't know what to do right now other then come to Al Anon friends. My ABF of 3 years has been actively drinking again and has not talked to me for the past couple days. Facebook is an awful thing because I have to see every picture he puts up of him drinking and he's also hanging out in groups where there ar...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

So my ABF and I have been taking some time apart the past few months...we were living together, but I recently moved back home and we see each other 2 or 3 times a week. In the past few weeks he has been calling less, doesn't call before bed. His phone "dies" all the time. I try to be understanding...

light blue · light blue

My ah is a functional drinker who drinks beer after work. He normally just drinks and he is pleasant .Two nights ago he drunk 3/4 of a bottle of straight JD. For some reason I brought up something in the past that was upsetting me , he then brought up an incident from the past where I was raped (I usually know...

GreenK · GreenK

Hi all, I wasn't sure how active this board is but would like some input and wasn't sure where else I should post this topic. I began attending Alanon meetings early this year and have had profound changes in my personal and work life through the program. I have a wonderful sponsor who has been in the p...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Help! What do I need to do to fix this.....a friend told me if you google my name it's showing all my posts on this Al-anon website, and sure enough, I googled my name and it shows everything I'm posting on this site! What do I need to do to fix this, anyone know? I already removed my name from the settings...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Last night was another Family Meeting Night at the rehab facility. Before the meeting, we met with his counselor privately to discusshis on-going obsession of me having a fling. We got no where with him. I did state that I would not take a polygraph. I told him that it's his job to work it out. That...

stephaniej · stephaniej

It's been awhile since I've checked in, MIPers, but I do try to come on the board periodically to see how folks are doing. Some of you may recall that my AH was working several hundred miles away, and we were seeing him about one weekend a month. While the arrangement meant I was functionally a single mot...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I was going to go see my exAH tonight, but before I got over there he has called me a few times and in each conversation he is talking down to me and not being nice at all. He is try to make me admit things that make no sense to me and trying to tell me I have never built him up or given him compliments and I am just ne...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I came home yesterday and he was already drunk. Didn't matter at that point, but my fear interjected and on the way to get the kids, he brought a glass of wine with him. When I say glass, I say a large water glass...anyway, it ended up being thrown out of the car window while I lashed out at him on the way to g...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Hello family - I will be unavailable to chair next Friday morning's meeting - I hope someone will be able to step in and run the meeting! Love you all, bg

mr5191 · mr5191

It has been a few weeks since I posted and things have improved some days and others it has not. I have been reading the Al-Anon book and have just ordered the daily reader and an Al-Ateen book for my oldest daughter. I have been following the advice and guidelines of dealing with my AW using detachment...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	now for sure ex a b/f,lied in court and won. (Preview) took my whole day in court with him back in forth i had to hunt down my witness ,all for nothing the law had the dates mixed up when he actually sliced my brand new tires it had been a yr ago and i couldnt remember took them that long to catch up with him on some other charges that his boss bailed him out of,but b...	chinup	4	519	Jun 17, 2011 by chinup
	Self Doubt.... (Preview) My AS was lashing out last night when he can't get what he wants from me, telling me that I didn't raise him right and that is why his life is in the tank now. I know that he was loved, cared for, we were not perfect (he was our first child), we were young and viewed life in a very simple way. I know how they talk...	DreamsOver	7	607	Jun 17, 2011 by Loupiness
	When will I ever learn?!?!?!? (reposted from ACoA board) (Preview) The last several days, the internal pressure's been building up again. I was aware of it, but thought I was controlling it pretty well and everything was fine. Then yesterday, I made a comment to a co-worker which apparently was far nastier than I realized. Not the comment itself (although I shouldn...	Red Hawk	5	610	Jun 16, 2011 by Red Hawk
	My partner has started to drink again (Preview) I'm new here. I dont know who else to talk to. My partner has started to drink again after 10 weeks of being dry. I'm so so upset as I dont want it to go back to how it was. In the past 10 weeks, I had my best friend back, I fell back in love and had butterflies. I couldnt wait for him to wake up in the morning so I coul...	alexious79	7	2865	Jun 16, 2011 by hopeful411
	Got my meeting fix last night and sponsor question (Preview) I cannot say enough how wonderful it is to have meetings to get to and actually go to. Just having that connection for an hour and a half last night was enough to keep me going for the rest of the week. I got to the Monday night meeting and then last night as well. The people that I know that I have been calli...	youfoundme	5	394	Jun 16, 2011 by youfoundme
	HOPE (Preview) Just remember in the winter Far beneath the bitter snows Lies the seed that with the sun's love In the spring becomes the rose From the song, "THE ROSE" title track to 1979 film. starring Bette Midler. Based on life of Janis Joplin, who died from heroine overdose in 1971 at age of 27. S...	Otie	9	458	Jun 16, 2011 by likemyheart
	better today (Preview) Its good to be here, thankyou. Thank you all for your support and E S and H over the last few days. I feel much better today. I have been speaking with my alanon friend and reading my literature and reading on here. I have realized today that staying calm is really the only way to deal with someone who is...	youfoundme	12	541	Jun 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	I did not engage, finally! (Preview) Hi all.. the other night I went to my parents after work to pick up my daugher, she wanted to stay for dinner, we went back to first feed and bring our dog over. When we returned, we all ate outside for the first time this year - all of us minus my mom. Me, my sister, my dad, my daugher and my niece had a nice dinne...	danielle0516	6	508	Jun 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Why Im here.. (1st post) (Preview) I was recently cheated on by the love of my life because of her addiction to alcohol and prescription drugs.. In the past I have always worked with her to get better but the actions were never as severe as this time. I have boundaries and this time my boundary was broken. I was prepared to never see this...	GratefulOne	9	618	Jun 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	A Suggestion for Those of Us Who are Recovering (Preview) This is just a suggestion (and not advice ): I have a document file that I keep on my computer and everytime I read something on this board, or hear something at one of my Alanon meetings, that really inspires me or that I don't want to forget, I copy and paste, or add, the statement into my document. That wa...	Green Eyes	9	508	Jun 16, 2011 by maryjane
	newcomer and so confused (Preview) I just found this site yesterday, i love it! my therapist has been telling me to go to alanon meetings for months, me being an adult child of a and having ah seemed to think i knew what was best and didn't need those meetings. Boy have i learned alot in just a couple of days of reading. Everyone is so supporti...	sameoldstuff	8	491	Jun 16, 2011 by Corgi2
	Update to "Dealing with Recovery" (Preview) I didn't realize that updating a thread wouldn't bump it, so I'm starting a new thread to let you guys know what's transpired. Just for a refresher, the thread was about ED issues in the recovering alcoholic (specifically my H). Since I posted, my husband injured his back (for the second time) and had...	walkingthrubluebonnets	3	581	Jun 16, 2011 by youfoundme
	Taking Care of Ourselves (Preview) Taking Care of Ourselves It's healthy, wise, and loving to be considerate and responsive to the feelings and needs of others. That's different from caretaking. Caretaking is a self-defeating and, certainly, a relationship defeating behavior - a behavior that backfires and can cause us to feel re...	glad lee	1	440	Jun 16, 2011 by kitty
	what to say (Preview) So I went to a f2f meeting today for the very first time. I cried almost the whole time but was still too scared to share in front of everyone. I hope that I will have more courage in the future. I just wish I knew what to say. I dont want to upset anyone or say the wrong thing if that makes any sense. Any advice?	Betterfuture	10	598	Jun 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Unsure (Preview) This is a great site. It helps to know there are people who have experienced some of the same things I have. Thank you all for your encouraging words and stories. I know I have to make some choices. I'm not really sure where to start, but it helps to know there are people who understand. -- Edited by Ash...	Ashap	4	861	Jun 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Changing things up = good for my recovery. (Preview) I've been feeling a bit spiritually devoid lately. Every now and then, I find a rut that looks welcoming and comfortable - the path is well worn. It's familiar, I don't have to "work" to get to where I'm wanting to go. That's been my life for the past month or so, it seems. Same routine most days...	Aloha	4	364	Jun 16, 2011 by Jerry F
	Sometimes I wish....... (Preview) I wish Linbaba was in my AH's homegroup..... I wish Tom, RLC, hotrod, pinkchip, etc. you know? you ALL have such wisdom - I wish my H could get from you what I have gotten. Egads I wish he would hear all the pain of us enablers, wish he would have all the years of experience offered to him through people like L...	likemyheart	6	606	Jun 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Day 4-starting to feel more at peace (Preview) Today is day 4 since my husband has been off the alcohol. As I watch him load his little container with vitamin pills this morning, my heart broke for him. For the longest time, I blamed him for not quitting because I thought he had control of it and he just didnt' want to quit but for the first time, I saw him...	hopenfaith	5	476	Jun 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Dealing with Recovery (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm new here. I've had alcoholics in my life, my whole life. My grandfather, my father, my exH. My current H is someone that I've been friends with for 17 years and my first and true love. He also is an alcoholic, although recovering. When he wanted to marry me a few years ago, I said no. I...	walkingthrubluebonnets	19	1008	Jun 15, 2011 by walkingthrubluebonnets
	Am I Too detached? I don't know how I feel. (Preview) A little background: A few years ago my AH was diagnosed with a heart defect, Aortic Stenosis, Mild (as opposed to acute); ever since then, even though the battery of tests they did showed no heart blockages, no reasons for any worry, hes latched onto the diagnosis whenever it has suited him to do so to g...	likemyheart	12	767	Jun 15, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Good to be home (Preview) I have been out of town for ten days and I have got to tell you guys it is good to be home. It is such a nice feeling to be "unplugged" away from the computer and being able to burn time without worrying about being late or needing to get to "there" and stressed because I have not left &q...	tommyecat	6	399	Jun 15, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Hide or face it head on? (Preview) Ok, here's my dilemma. During my AH's relapse he had 2 one-night-stands with two seperate women. Both of these women are now involved in a casual relationship with my brother-in-law (Yes, I am painfully aware how twisted this is....) So last night was the first time, since I became aware of the infede...	Aimee	5	480	Jun 15, 2011 by clep
	Struggles with Anxiety....but it is a good day : ) (Preview) Hello all - well, it's been about 1 year since I have heard from my ex-abf. (after five years of hell). I've forgave, but not forgotten which seems to be the problem. some days are good...today is a very good day. Some days are a struggle. I suffered from severe Anxiety and Panic attacks when with th...	mslouise	5	392	Jun 15, 2011 by mslouise
	Hello all, questions and share (Preview) There is an interesting thing going on when my bf drinks. I am not sure what it is, but it has only been happening the last 7 weeks that he drinks to a certain point. He suddenly gets really red in the face, anywhere that he ever had a scar turns deep red (even old bug bite spots), and he can't breathe well. ...	youfoundme	8	623	Jun 15, 2011 by youfoundme
	parent setting boundaries and feeling the pain (Preview) Hi all, Its been a while since I have been here.Tonight is hard for me.I had to tell my 2 drinking children that they are not welcome to stay in my house with my youngest 18 year old daughter who doesn't have a drinking problem, while I am out of town attending my brothers wedding for 9 days.It was really har...	Megthompson	4	470	Jun 15, 2011 by Jerry F
	21, Pregnant, and feeling very alone and frusturated (Preview) My parntner is an alchoholic, who has quit drinking. He quit about a year ago on his own accord, but since then has relapsed several times. Everytime he gets really angry he wants to, and sometimes he breaks down and does. Even though he has quit he still displays a lot of alchoholic patterns. He is very d...	sierramorningstar	7	390	Jun 14, 2011 by sierramorningstar
	Wallowing (Preview) Need encouragement. Recently filed for divorce from AH. With 3 kids (who all have busy summer schedules) and a full time job, have not found time to attend a meeting. Closest meeting is 30 miles away. I have been feeling very alone and trying to hold it together for my kids, but every free moment I ha...	Soobie	7	483	Jun 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	Depression (Preview) My wife has fallen into a deep hole of depression. She's been unable to get out of bed for most of the last 3 days. She's always struggled with depression and had a few depressive episodes like this in the past, however this is the first really major, debilitating one like this since we have known each oth...	usedtobeanyer	8	1101	Jun 14, 2011 by surfingmaestro
	Is this really happening to me? (Preview) Hello everyone, I found my husband sitting in his favorite chair in the garage again this past weekend with that same look in his eyes. "I'm sorry I am a failure to you", he said as he started sobbing. At that very moment, I knew he had been drinking. He had been drinking all day long here and the...	hopenfaith	15	661	Jun 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	No Longer Just Lurking- Here's my Story (Preview) I found this forum a couple of weeks ago and have been "lurking" ever since. I am reposting this message that I had previously posted in response to canadianguy's post regarding "lurkers." I didn't realize that my user name could be found on search engines, so I am reposting thi...	Green Eyes	8	516	Jun 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	To all the lurkers out there.... (Preview) This is a message to all the lurkers out there (and there are many of you) - who come here to read and learn, but have not yet posted your story or questions/concerns.... I wanted to say...... WELCOME! - and please feel free to stay as long as you want! This is a great site, with tons of awesome people on bo...	canadianguy	10	701	Jun 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	i must be losing it for sure (Preview) who in gods green earth wouldnt jump at the chance to go to england ive always wanted to go,plus my kids being there is another thing,something must be really wrong with me its gotta be mental......chinup.......odat	chinup	6	558	Jun 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	Internet Anonymity???? (Preview) C'on people... Databases at Banks are hacked, Sony's database of xbox and PS3 purchasers was hacked... military and government databases are hacked... And yet, we expect we will throw our full names, addresses, phone numbers, email addresses, place of employment.. blah, blah, blah, into cybers...	John	4	726	Jun 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	About my brother (new here) (Preview) Never been too good at lurking, I prefer to jump right in. So here goes. My brother started drinking when he was 14, that was 20 years ago. My parents have both been sober and in AA for over 20 years, and my methods for dealing with my brother come from what they have tought me. They moved out of state a few...	Revok	6	394	Jun 14, 2011 by youfoundme
	anybody everflown air canada experience (Preview) my 1st time to ever fly so, my daughter in england calls me wit saying she is getting me a ticket round trip at a fdecent price,ill get on a plane in memphis and fly out to canada,then from canada onto england my daughter has never been to canada so doesnt know how it is,we r trying to find out how big the airpo...	chinup	6	347	Jun 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	Newcomer (Preview) Hello, I am new to MIP but I have been in Alanon for 3 years. I am married to a recovering alcoholic and he completed rehab 3 years ago and has not had a drop of alcohol since then, but he has smoked pot, stole my medication (adderall), and bought pills (benzos). I have found this to become stressful althoug...	MDK	9	531	Jun 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	Dealing with Guilt (Preview) I have been in Al-Anon for about 2 years and have decided to divorce my AH. I spent a great deal of time making sure my motives were seeking a divorce were honest and not out of frustration, spite, or control. We are still living in the same house and I have been fairly ok with everything, but for the past 2 da...	spc75	12	1504	Jun 14, 2011 by nat2000
	daughter giving me a hard time (Preview) says if my depression is that bad then maybe i should go check myself into the hospital,and she came online to ask me if i could make arrangements to come,that she was ver hurt over all this i told her i was even more hurt over it,then i thought about getting some antidepressants from my dr samples so i got m...	chinup	3	561	Jun 14, 2011 by chinup
	update ,of why i didnt go to england (Preview) i woke up 3am crying ,id been obsessing over and over about it and would wake up scared,but,the real reason for my not going is my depression hasnt gotten worse along with anxiety im having problems getting my right meds and daughter sprung this on me all in one min.i typed her a really long letter of reas...	chinup	4	491	Jun 14, 2011 by Debilyn
	Otie's Confession (Preview) I admit that for the past few days I have been wandering into the AA message board of MIP. At first I felt a little odd (guilty, I guess) as if I was evesdropping on private conversations----but, apparently we are free to do so. I know that there are some members of this board who are dual members. I alwa...	Otie	9	618	Jun 13, 2011 by pinkchip
	My husband is an alcoholic in denial husband hiding drinking (Preview) I am so sick to my stomach. Yesterday was our 6 month mark for being married. We're still newly weds. I have noticed that my husband drinks alot when he drinks. He does not think that he does, the problem is though he hides how much he drinks. He will drink wine in front of me but then hide the vodka he dr...	onewildflower	5	2951	Jun 13, 2011 by pinkchip
	He Seems to be "Getting It" This Time (Preview) A little update.... The day I told the ex that I would not take a polygraph test, the rehab's social told him that he needed to go to the sober living house after his 28-day stay. In addition, his counselor had advised him that he needs to be evaluated by a psychiatrist for his delusions. It was all too mu...	GailMichelle	8	405	Jun 13, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Attemping to Moving Forward... (Preview) Well as Most know I have been Seriously struggling with Juggling everyday life here of late, and I was saying that i needed just a Small 'time out' to feel strong enough to go on... Well I ask, and I Recieved in Full This past week has been nothing short of stressful, But on the Up side of things, this past we...	Jozie	3	503	Jun 13, 2011 by hotrod
	How to set boundaries when family isn't on board (Preview) My husband's uncle is an alcoholic. He has been in and out of rehab the past few years. He refuses to follow reccomendations and just last Friday left a treatment facility after doing 3 days of detox. He says he doesn't want to do treatment, doesn't need AA, can do it on his own, blah, blah, blah..... I'...	Marisa	3	992	Jun 13, 2011 by Jerry F
	Trying to Keep my head on straight.. (Preview) Well, today was a pretty stressful day.. My A brother is getting worse and worse as time goes by. He is in pretty rough shape at age 50 and my mother who has breast cancer has been crippling him forever. She babies him to no end. It is absolutely sickening to watch. I have mentioned Alanon but for her she say...	Samsgram	2	629	Jun 13, 2011 by kitty
	On Part of Otie's Post/Detachment (Preview) "I had/have a big fear of losing my compassion thru detachment. I am beginning to understand, though, that my first concepts of detachment were erroneous. It seems that it doesn't make sense (completely) until you actually start practicing it." It does seem confusing Otie, I have be...	oldergal	3	360	Jun 13, 2011 by kitty
	Just Tired... (Preview) Did ya Ever get so Tired ya Just forgot Who & What you were and are suppose to be heading tords? I got my Calendar out, and in the last 6 WEEKS.... there has been 2 days that I did not Have Something on the Schedule to do after, putting in my 40hr work wk... I keep thinking what can I cut? and Honestly can't c...	Jozie	4	444	Jun 12, 2011 by Jozie
	never flown or ever been away from home here in 30 yrs (Preview) i need lots of encouragement on flying and being so far away from home in england and im here in mississippi.everytime i go to sleep and wake up i keep having these horible dreams about flying and everything untill i come to reality,im somewhat ok right now.but daughter has to have an answer by tomorrow...	chinup	6	357	Jun 12, 2011 by Debilyn
	AL-ANON MTG JUNE 13 & JUNE 27 (Preview) I am having a series of tests at the hospital that began last Monday morning, June 6 and continues tomorrow morning June 13, and the morning of June 27. I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled Monday meetings for these dates. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair for me. Thanks.	shimo	0	278	Jun 12, 2011 by shimo
	Heartbrokem beyond belief (Preview) I don't know what to do right now other then come to Al Anon friends. My ABF of 3 years has been actively drinking again and has not talked to me for the past couple days. Facebook is an awful thing because I have to see every picture he puts up of him drinking and he's also hanging out in groups where there ar...	Corgi2	13	598	Jun 11, 2011 by Tracy
	He doesn't want me... (Preview) So my ABF and I have been taking some time apart the past few months...we were living together, but I recently moved back home and we see each other 2 or 3 times a week. In the past few weeks he has been calling less, doesn't call before bed. His phone "dies" all the time. I try to be understanding...	Corgi2	9	647	Jun 10, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Damaged (Preview) My ah is a functional drinker who drinks beer after work. He normally just drinks and he is pleasant .Two nights ago he drunk 3/4 of a bottle of straight JD. For some reason I brought up something in the past that was upsetting me , he then brought up an incident from the past where I was raped (I usually know...	light blue	5	422	Jun 10, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Question about non CAL being brought into meetings (Preview) Hi all, I wasn't sure how active this board is but would like some input and wasn't sure where else I should post this topic. I began attending Alanon meetings early this year and have had profound changes in my personal and work life through the program. I have a wonderful sponsor who has been in the p...	GreenK	5	506	Jun 10, 2011 by Jerry F
	Google is making this board not private! (Preview) Help! What do I need to do to fix this.....a friend told me if you google my name it's showing all my posts on this Al-anon website, and sure enough, I googled my name and it shows everything I'm posting on this site! What do I need to do to fix this, anyone know? I already removed my name from the settings...	sdisnie	10	629	Jun 10, 2011 by Otie
	Reality Can Be Harsh (Preview) Last night was another Family Meeting Night at the rehab facility. Before the meeting, we met with his counselor privately to discusshis on-going obsession of me having a fling. We got no where with him. I did state that I would not take a polygraph. I told him that it's his job to work it out. That...	GailMichelle	5	656	Jun 10, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Working HARD to maintain my serenity... (Preview) It's been awhile since I've checked in, MIPers, but I do try to come on the board periodically to see how folks are doing. Some of you may recall that my AH was working several hundred miles away, and we were seeing him about one weekend a month. While the arrangement meant I was functionally a single mot...	stephaniej	1	381	Jun 10, 2011 by youfoundme
	Overwhelmed times 10! (Preview) I was going to go see my exAH tonight, but before I got over there he has called me a few times and in each conversation he is talking down to me and not being nice at all. He is try to make me admit things that make no sense to me and trying to tell me I have never built him up or given him compliments and I am just ne...	flopadopilus	8	451	Jun 10, 2011 by GailMichelle
	I lost it at 2am (Preview) I came home yesterday and he was already drunk. Didn't matter at that point, but my fear interjected and on the way to get the kids, he brought a glass of wine with him. When I say glass, I say a large water glass...anyway, it ended up being thrown out of the car window while I lashed out at him on the way to g...	youfoundme	13	646	Jun 10, 2011 by youfoundme
	Need a chair for Friday June 17 morning meeting (Preview) Hello family - I will be unavailable to chair next Friday morning's meeting - I hope someone will be able to step in and run the meeting! Love you all, bg	blender_girl	0	179	Jun 10, 2011 by blender_girl
	safety issues (Preview) It has been a few weeks since I posted and things have improved some days and others it has not. I have been reading the Al-Anon book and have just ordered the daily reader and an Al-Ateen book for my oldest daughter. I have been following the advice and guidelines of dealing with my AW using detachment...	mr5191	12	471	Jun 10, 2011 by Rora
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.