Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

My husband is recovering, which I've said before. I think alot of his drinking had to do more with his mental health problems....but then again it's like the question "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" Our relationship is ok. It's not all great and romantic like it used to be, but it...

Aimee · Aimee

How do you practice forgiveness? Do you pray for the person you want to forgive? Would it be wrong to actually tell the person that you forgive them as a way of letting go? I had this idea pop into my head (after an excellent reply from Clep regarding my last post) about possibly doing a kind of reverse amme...

Aloha · Aloha

Hi everyone - I'm passing this along. Our Area Delegate shared this with our groups: The second podcast on Sponsorship has been posted on the al-anon.alateen.org Members' Web site. To access the podcasts, click on the "For Members & Groups" logo on the home page. Members from across...

Jeff · Jeff

My wife, soon to be ex, just returned from Hazeldon. Prior to seeking treatment she stepped outside of our vows, lost her job, and was beyond verbally abusive in our relationship. I had high hopes that she would return with a new perspective and we would raise our children together apart, but yet as a...

Jozie · Jozie

First Let me say that I want to Send a VERY Happy Fathers Day Out to our Gentlemen Here :0) I Do hope that you all managed to enjoy your Day because you are WORTH IT... So Happy Belated Fathers Day to You All =) For me it was Tough I Suppose, but it always is... 3rd Year without My Daddy-0

... But My Husband Re...

chinup · chinup

after all that my a,b/f has done to me and after 4 yrs of being togethera and all ive put out on him and money lots of that and allowing him to live on me and not work and not pay nothing and stayed tanked up on everything selling my scipts scripts to but his stuff and seeling my stuff to it with and here at the end...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Hi. Sorry - again another long gap since I have been in here. Life still not good in the Tattyhead household. AH has been in hospital again, having been vomiting blood, bleeding the other end and having acquired pneumonia just as an add-on. The miracle of modern medicine and all its interventions save...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

Hello to all: I am an Alanon member for the past 10 + years. I attend weekly meetings. However, I need all the help I can get from Alanon. I am married to an A husband for 36 years. He has been in and out of rehabs and still does not have recovery. Alanon is what keeps me together. I am unable to attend more than o...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Besides spilling marshmallows and brown sugar cooking it in the microwave, oh fun to clean up.Dog ran off with the towel and rags I was using cleaning it, spread sticky "everywhere." Was hot so I took a feather bed out to the bed glider on the deck, then it rained all night, The racoon is scrat...

Rora · Rora

I find for me that the acceptance of reality is a gradual process. Today, it is Fathers Day. My exaH now has restrictions put on him for supervised access of our son because of a recent police report indicating an attempted suicide. I made arrangments with exaH's grown daughter to pick up our son for F...

alexmaui · alexmaui

Someone from my meeting is also going to my church and my gym. We talk about general things when we are not in our meeting. But I have met her husband (her qualifier ) and she has met mine (ditto) I'm not sure how to act, but it feels like by NOT acknowledging each other we are behaving like we are ahsmed.......

Pushka · Pushka

I started going to Alanon in December of last year and attend meetings fairly regularly. I enjoy them a lot. This year has been a year of reflection and trying to figure myself out. Who am I, what do I want, how can I finally get my act together. This has been going on for about 6 years to long now for myse...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

I tried to go to another f2f meeting earlier today but I saw some of the same people that were in the other f2f meeting I went to on tue. I know that everyone cries but I was completely overwhelmed with tears and emotions at the last meeting I was sort of embarassed. I really wanted to go today because I've be...

Mandagrl1 · Mandagrl1

Hello all. My husband was admitted to a 28 day program today for alcohol and pain pill abuse. It's been a sudden development that I'm still wrapping my head around and I feel like it will help to get it all out. Forgive my emotions, they're all over the map right now. A little background first- He and I...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I dream of ex AH as you know. It is back to when he was so nice. I know being surrounded by life,plants,animals,friends etc is what keeps me ok. For me it all left a huge scar. Once inawhile it can hurt out of nowhere. I am even thinking the last couple days, I should call and go see him. Oral cancer people from...

Lila Frost · Lila Frost

Hello. It has been a while since I have posted. My AM went to rehab finally and stayed for thirty days. While there she did get accused of hiding alcohol in the woods but it was never proven. Since she has been home the past four months she has gone to see her counselor who lives 2 hours away 2 or 3 times a month...

MichaelR · MichaelR

I dont know where to start. My fiance/ partner for the past, over 10 years, died from a Drug Overdose. I didnt know she was using drugs. Unfortunately she was a nurse and this is where her drug use started from. Years ago I sorta had an idea she might be doing something, I asked her but she denied it and...

devlynn · devlynn

Hi everyone. I'm not really sure where to start. First I guess I should forward everyone I can be long winded lol. I have found a local meeting and will be going to my first tomorrow night. I'm nervous and excited. I have no idea what to expect so I have my fingers crossed. I've heard a few bad rings about mee...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm very interested in continuing step work online here, when I click on the link it doesn't appear that anything really new or relavent has been posted upon for a long time? That was what I read at a glance and noticed I had to re-register. Is there a step work link that is relavent at this point?

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

I live in NYC with my AH of 14 months. He is seeking treatment via IOP and by attending meetings. He works sporadically and I pay most of the bills. I am a lawyer and very very busy - small office, not a lot of people to talk to. I've started going back to church and attend al anon twice a week but I still feel iso...

Debilyn · Debilyn

There is some nut harrassing me online. I caught him pretending to be someone else and told him to go away. Now he is on another site, my JW meeting site doing it. So unbeknowest to me...He wrote that message I got and used pictures from a guy I thought was cool a long time ago. It was another lie. Now I know wh...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I am just so upset right now...My daughter informed me that my grandaughter is not staying at my house as often anymore and she is hiring a 15 yr old to watch her. She said my gd apparently does not respect her (my d) enough when she leaves my house. She feels I`am a bad influence on her. Or that she respects m...

Hermom · Hermom

I hope so because it's the only feeling I have left after rehabs, jails, psyche wards, kicking her out,3 years of sobriety out on her own, relapse, hospitals, anxiety, panic attacks, lose all she has, moving back home, AA, Relapse, AA, relapse, , kicking her back out, and now I'm back to square one deal...

Debilyn · Debilyn

My stomach is all twisted, I feel like crying. Over what? There is someone interested in me. He is my religion, sounds so much like me. He contacted me. For years I have prayed for this. Then when there is a chance,I freeze up. Feel unworthy. I don't know why I care, I don't usually, but I think, well what if...

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

So this has been a hard thing for me, I know that in order to really be successful I need a sponsor. To hold me to attending meetings, hold me accountable for working the steps, and having someone that I can call when the A's in my life push me hard and I let them get the best of me. Maybe it's just easier for som...

purpleraven · purpleraven

i'm in a sticky situation involving my ex-A. not that i want to be involved with him, but i'm 12 weeks pregnant, conceived just a week before he left us without warning. i had to tell him via email, he'd cut off all contact. now i'm regretting telling him, since i expect nothing from him ... but, isn't it th...

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

I am new to this webpage. I found out a year ago that my husband had a problem with alcohol. I also found out that he had lied to me about many other things besides the alcohol. When we first met he was still in a relationship with his wife, although he told me they were still married, but seperated and only li...

lifewontwait · lifewontwait

Hi everyone, I've been reading the board for about a month, and feel like it's time for me to join in on the conversations. I first want to say that I appreciate that this board and it's members are here any time day or night that I need some ESH. It's really been a great resource for me, and that's why I want t...

John · John

Hello everyone, As many of us already know, the economy is taking a toll on so many people, so hard that life as we once knew it has changed. So it is with me. As I write this post I am struggling to just keep my head above water, but the water is rising very fast. And I am reaching out for help. At one time, th...

hopeful411 · hopeful411

my ab and i have been off and on for many years we have a young child. I am currently in counseling and we are working on making our family work....well so i thought. 1 week he wants the help and admits the problems. Another week its hed rather be an alcoholic then have me nagging him. I'm stronlgy encou...

jamfu · jamfu

This morning I began to reflect on a passage I read in my how al-anon works book. In summary it read that the family holding the A out of the water to keep her head from getting wet only supports the disease further to enable her destructive behavior. This made me very angry at her family. They have been doi...

chinup · chinup

gues id thought she was gonna really abandone me completely,but she called me this am and was such a sweet conversation and i got to tell her what was really going on with me ,,,,female problems,im 48 y/0,hormones r really playing games with me lol,but any ways thought id give yall the update hm i typed t...

chinup · chinup

took my whole day in court with him back in forth i had to hunt down my witness ,all for nothing the law had the dates mixed up when he actually sliced my brand new tires it had been a yr ago and i couldnt remember took them that long to catch up with him on some other charges that his boss bailed him out of,but b...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My AS was lashing out last night when he can't get what he wants from me, telling me that I didn't raise him right and that is why his life is in the tank now. I know that he was loved, cared for, we were not perfect (he was our first child), we were young and viewed life in a very simple way. I know how they talk...

Red Hawk · Red Hawk

The last several days, the internal pressure's been building up again. I was aware of it, but thought I was controlling it pretty well and everything was fine. Then yesterday, I made a comment to a co-worker which apparently was far nastier than I realized. Not the comment itself (although I shouldn...

alexious79 · alexious79

I'm new here. I dont know who else to talk to. My partner has started to drink again after 10 weeks of being dry. I'm so so upset as I dont want it to go back to how it was. In the past 10 weeks, I had my best friend back, I fell back in love and had butterflies. I couldnt wait for him to wake up in the morning so I coul...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I cannot say enough how wonderful it is to have meetings to get to and actually go to. Just having that connection for an hour and a half last night was enough to keep me going for the rest of the week. I got to the Monday night meeting and then last night as well. The people that I know that I have been calli...

Otie · Otie

Just remember in the winter Far beneath the bitter snows Lies the seed that with the sun's love In the spring becomes the rose From the song, "THE ROSE" title track to 1979 film. starring Bette Midler. Based on life of Janis Joplin, who died from heroine overdose in 1971 at age of 27. S...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Its good to be here, thankyou. Thank you all for your support and E S and H over the last few days. I feel much better today. I have been speaking with my alanon friend and reading my literature and reading on here. I have realized today that staying calm is really the only way to deal with someone who is...

danielle0516 · danielle0516

Hi all.. the other night I went to my parents after work to pick up my daugher, she wanted to stay for dinner, we went back to first feed and bring our dog over. When we returned, we all ate outside for the first time this year - all of us minus my mom. Me, my sister, my dad, my daugher and my niece had a nice dinne...

GratefulOne · GratefulOne

I was recently cheated on by the love of my life because of her addiction to alcohol and prescription drugs.. In the past I have always worked with her to get better but the actions were never as severe as this time. I have boundaries and this time my boundary was broken. I was prepared to never see this...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

This is just a suggestion (and not advice ): I have a document file that I keep on my computer and everytime I read something on this board, or hear something at one of my Alanon meetings, that really inspires me or that I don't want to forget, I copy and paste, or add, the statement into my document. That wa...

sameoldstuff · sameoldstuff

I just found this site yesterday, i love it! my therapist has been telling me to go to alanon meetings for months, me being an adult child of a and having ah seemed to think i knew what was best and didn't need those meetings. Boy have i learned alot in just a couple of days of reading. Everyone is so supporti...

walkingthrubluebonnets · walkingthrubluebonnets

I didn't realize that updating a thread wouldn't bump it, so I'm starting a new thread to let you guys know what's transpired. Just for a refresher, the thread was about ED issues in the recovering alcoholic (specifically my H). Since I posted, my husband injured his back (for the second time) and had...

glad lee · glad lee

Taking Care of Ourselves It's healthy, wise, and loving to be considerate and responsive to the feelings and needs of others. That's different from caretaking. Caretaking is a self-defeating and, certainly, a relationship defeating behavior - a behavior that backfires and can cause us to feel re...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

So I went to a f2f meeting today for the very first time. I cried almost the whole time but was still too scared to share in front of everyone. I hope that I will have more courage in the future. I just wish I knew what to say. I dont want to upset anyone or say the wrong thing if that makes any sense. Any advice?

Ashap · Ashap

This is a great site. It helps to know there are people who have experienced some of the same things I have. Thank you all for your encouraging words and stories. I know I have to make some choices. I'm not really sure where to start, but it helps to know there are people who understand. -- Edited by Ash...

Aloha · Aloha

I've been feeling a bit spiritually devoid lately. Every now and then, I find a rut that looks welcoming and comfortable - the path is well worn. It's familiar, I don't have to "work" to get to where I'm wanting to go. That's been my life for the past month or so, it seems. Same routine most days...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I wish Linbaba was in my AH's homegroup..... I wish Tom, RLC, hotrod, pinkchip, etc. you know? you ALL have such wisdom - I wish my H could get from you what I have gotten. Egads I wish he would hear all the pain of us enablers, wish he would have all the years of experience offered to him through people like L...

hopenfaith · hopenfaith

Today is day 4 since my husband has been off the alcohol. As I watch him load his little container with vitamin pills this morning, my heart broke for him. For the longest time, I blamed him for not quitting because I thought he had control of it and he just didnt' want to quit but for the first time, I saw him...

walkingthrubluebonnets · walkingthrubluebonnets

Hi Everyone, I'm new here. I've had alcoholics in my life, my whole life. My grandfather, my father, my exH. My current H is someone that I've been friends with for 17 years and my first and true love. He also is an alcoholic, although recovering. When he wanted to marry me a few years ago, I said no. I...

likemyheart · likemyheart

A little background: A few years ago my AH was diagnosed with a heart defect, Aortic Stenosis, Mild (as opposed to acute); ever since then, even though the battery of tests they did showed no heart blockages, no reasons for any worry, hes latched onto the diagnosis whenever it has suited him to do so to g...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I have been out of town for ten days and I have got to tell you guys it is good to be home. It is such a nice feeling to be "unplugged" away from the computer and being able to burn time without worrying about being late or needing to get to "there" and stressed because I have not left &q...

Aimee · Aimee

Ok, here's my dilemma. During my AH's relapse he had 2 one-night-stands with two seperate women. Both of these women are now involved in a casual relationship with my brother-in-law (Yes, I am painfully aware how twisted this is....) So last night was the first time, since I became aware of the infede...

mslouise · mslouise

Hello all - well, it's been about 1 year since I have heard from my ex-abf. (after five years of hell). I've forgave, but not forgotten which seems to be the problem. some days are good...today is a very good day. Some days are a struggle. I suffered from severe Anxiety and Panic attacks when with th...

youfoundme · youfoundme

There is an interesting thing going on when my bf drinks. I am not sure what it is, but it has only been happening the last 7 weeks that he drinks to a certain point. He suddenly gets really red in the face, anywhere that he ever had a scar turns deep red (even old bug bite spots), and he can't breathe well. ...

Megthompson · Megthompson

Hi all, Its been a while since I have been here.Tonight is hard for me.I had to tell my 2 drinking children that they are not welcome to stay in my house with my youngest 18 year old daughter who doesn't have a drinking problem, while I am out of town attending my brothers wedding for 9 days.It was really har...

sierramorningstar · sierramorningstar

My parntner is an alchoholic, who has quit drinking. He quit about a year ago on his own accord, but since then has relapsed several times. Everytime he gets really angry he wants to, and sometimes he breaks down and does. Even though he has quit he still displays a lot of alchoholic patterns. He is very d...

Soobie · Soobie

Need encouragement. Recently filed for divorce from AH. With 3 kids (who all have busy summer schedules) and a full time job, have not found time to attend a meeting. Closest meeting is 30 miles away. I have been feeling very alone and trying to hold it together for my kids, but every free moment I ha...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

My wife has fallen into a deep hole of depression. She's been unable to get out of bed for most of the last 3 days. She's always struggled with depression and had a few depressive episodes like this in the past, however this is the first really major, debilitating one like this since we have known each oth...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The "New" A in my life (Preview) My husband is recovering, which I've said before. I think alot of his drinking had to do more with his mental health problems....but then again it's like the question "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" Our relationship is ok. It's not all great and romantic like it used to be, but it...	Kristi136188	3	630	Jun 20, 2011 by Kristi136188
	Practicing Forgivness (Preview) How do you practice forgiveness? Do you pray for the person you want to forgive? Would it be wrong to actually tell the person that you forgive them as a way of letting go? I had this idea pop into my head (after an excellent reply from Clep regarding my last post) about possibly doing a kind of reverse amme...	Aimee	16	919	Jun 20, 2011 by likemyheart
	Podcast on Sponsorship (Preview) Hi everyone - I'm passing this along. Our Area Delegate shared this with our groups: The second podcast on Sponsorship has been posted on the al-anon.alateen.org Members' Web site. To access the podcasts, click on the "For Members & Groups" logo on the home page. Members from across...	Aloha	1	536	Jun 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	When does the bitterness end? (Preview) My wife, soon to be ex, just returned from Hazeldon. Prior to seeking treatment she stepped outside of our vows, lost her job, and was beyond verbally abusive in our relationship. I had high hopes that she would return with a new perspective and we would raise our children together apart, but yet as a...	Jeff	12	854	Jun 20, 2011 by canadianguy
	Yesterday's Yesterday.... (Preview) First Let me say that I want to Send a VERY Happy Fathers Day Out to our Gentlemen Here :0) I Do hope that you all managed to enjoy your Day because you are WORTH IT... So Happy Belated Fathers Day to You All =) For me it was Tough I Suppose, but it always is... 3rd Year without My Daddy-0 ... But My Husband Re...	Jozie	1	447	Jun 20, 2011 by hotrod
	i know it not gonna be easy (Preview) after all that my a,b/f has done to me and after 4 yrs of being togethera and all ive put out on him and money lots of that and allowing him to live on me and not work and not pay nothing and stayed tanked up on everything selling my scipts scripts to but his stuff and seeling my stuff to it with and here at the end...	chinup	2	545	Jun 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	Further up-date (Preview) Hi. Sorry - again another long gap since I have been in here. Life still not good in the Tattyhead household. AH has been in hospital again, having been vomiting blood, bleeding the other end and having acquired pneumonia just as an add-on. The miracle of modern medicine and all its interventions save...	Tattyhead	6	547	Jun 20, 2011 by Tattyhead
	Newcomer to this site (Preview) Hello to all: I am an Alanon member for the past 10 + years. I attend weekly meetings. However, I need all the help I can get from Alanon. I am married to an A husband for 36 years. He has been in and out of rehabs and still does not have recovery. Alanon is what keeps me together. I am unable to attend more than o...	hawaiilover	8	546	Jun 19, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Today. Well..... (Preview) Besides spilling marshmallows and brown sugar cooking it in the microwave, oh fun to clean up.Dog ran off with the towel and rags I was using cleaning it, spread sticky "everywhere." Was hot so I took a feather bed out to the bed glider on the deck, then it rained all night, The racoon is scrat...	Debilyn	1	546	Jun 19, 2011 by likemyheart
	So, this is REALLY my life??!!! (Preview) I find for me that the acceptance of reality is a gradual process. Today, it is Fathers Day. My exaH now has restrictions put on him for supervised access of our son because of a recent police report indicating an attempted suicide. I made arrangments with exaH's grown daughter to pick up our son for F...	Rora	3	605	Jun 19, 2011 by Rora
	AlAnon etiquette (Preview) Someone from my meeting is also going to my church and my gym. We talk about general things when we are not in our meeting. But I have met her husband (her qualifier ) and she has met mine (ditto) I'm not sure how to act, but it feels like by NOT acknowledging each other we are behaving like we are ahsmed.......	alexmaui	5	1158	Jun 19, 2011 by Pushka
	Newbie kind of (Preview) I started going to Alanon in December of last year and attend meetings fairly regularly. I enjoy them a lot. This year has been a year of reflection and trying to figure myself out. Who am I, what do I want, how can I finally get my act together. This has been going on for about 6 years to long now for myse...	Pushka	7	499	Jun 19, 2011 by tommyecat
	Rollercoaster (Preview) I tried to go to another f2f meeting earlier today but I saw some of the same people that were in the other f2f meeting I went to on tue. I know that everyone cries but I was completely overwhelmed with tears and emotions at the last meeting I was sort of embarassed. I really wanted to go today because I've be...	Betterfuture	8	719	Jun 19, 2011 by Rora
	Husband went into rehab today-first post Alcohol rehab pain pills (Preview) Hello all. My husband was admitted to a 28 day program today for alcohol and pain pill abuse. It's been a sudden development that I'm still wrapping my head around and I feel like it will help to get it all out. Forgive my emotions, they're all over the map right now. A little background first- He and I...	Mandagrl1	7	10708	Jun 19, 2011 by tommyecat
	part of my serenity (Preview) I dream of ex AH as you know. It is back to when he was so nice. I know being surrounded by life,plants,animals,friends etc is what keeps me ok. For me it all left a huge scar. Once inawhile it can hurt out of nowhere. I am even thinking the last couple days, I should call and go see him. Oral cancer people from...	Debilyn	5	620	Jun 19, 2011 by Loupiness
	Totally Frustrated and Overwhelmed (Preview) Hello. It has been a while since I have posted. My AM went to rehab finally and stayed for thirty days. While there she did get accused of hiding alcohol in the woods but it was never proven. Since she has been home the past four months she has gone to see her counselor who lives 2 hours away 2 or 3 times a month...	Lila Frost	6	778	Jun 19, 2011 by Pushka
	Picking up my pieces! (Preview) I dont know where to start. My fiance/ partner for the past, over 10 years, died from a Drug Overdose. I didnt know she was using drugs. Unfortunately she was a nurse and this is where her drug use started from. Years ago I sorta had an idea she might be doing something, I asked her but she denied it and...	MichaelR	6	493	Jun 19, 2011 by tommyecat
	Hi, newbie here :) (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm not really sure where to start. First I guess I should forward everyone I can be long winded lol. I have found a local meeting and will be going to my first tomorrow night. I'm nervous and excited. I have no idea what to expect so I have my fingers crossed. I've heard a few bad rings about mee...	devlynn	9	560	Jun 19, 2011 by tommyecat
	Step work (Preview) I'm very interested in continuing step work online here, when I click on the link it doesn't appear that anything really new or relavent has been posted upon for a long time? That was what I read at a glance and noticed I had to re-register. Is there a step work link that is relavent at this point?	Pushka	1	425	Jun 19, 2011 by tommyecat
	Lonely (Preview) I live in NYC with my AH of 14 months. He is seeking treatment via IOP and by attending meetings. He works sporadically and I pay most of the bills. I am a lawyer and very very busy - small office, not a lot of people to talk to. I've started going back to church and attend al anon twice a week but I still feel iso...	Mlkiss75	4	613	Jun 18, 2011 by Jerry F
	Shoulda listened to my gut...But.... (Preview) There is some nut harrassing me online. I caught him pretending to be someone else and told him to go away. Now he is on another site, my JW meeting site doing it. So unbeknowest to me...He wrote that message I got and used pictures from a guy I thought was cool a long time ago. It was another lie. Now I know wh...	Debilyn	2	636	Jun 18, 2011 by Otie
	I had a conversation with police tonite (Preview) I am just so upset right now...My daughter informed me that my grandaughter is not staying at my house as often anymore and she is hiring a 15 yr old to watch her. She said my gd apparently does not respect her (my d) enough when she leaves my house. She feels I`am a bad influence on her. Or that she respects m...	Samsgram	5	656	Jun 18, 2011 by redtara
	Is DISGUST the last stop? (Preview) I hope so because it's the only feeling I have left after rehabs, jails, psyche wards, kicking her out,3 years of sobriety out on her own, relapse, hospitals, anxiety, panic attacks, lose all she has, moving back home, AA, Relapse, AA, relapse, , kicking her back out, and now I'm back to square one deal...	Hermom	9	819	Jun 18, 2011 by Ness
	I hate this! (Preview) My stomach is all twisted, I feel like crying. Over what? There is someone interested in me. He is my religion, sounds so much like me. He contacted me. For years I have prayed for this. Then when there is a chance,I freeze up. Feel unworthy. I don't know why I care, I don't usually, but I think, well what if...	Debilyn	16	1180	Jun 18, 2011 by tommyecat
	Finding a sponsor (Preview) So this has been a hard thing for me, I know that in order to really be successful I need a sponsor. To hold me to attending meetings, hold me accountable for working the steps, and having someone that I can call when the A's in my life push me hard and I let them get the best of me. Maybe it's just easier for som...	Kristi136188	5	2189	Jun 18, 2011 by flopadopilus
	would an A lie about dying of cancer? (Preview) i'm in a sticky situation involving my ex-A. not that i want to be involved with him, but i'm 12 weeks pregnant, conceived just a week before he left us without warning. i had to tell him via email, he'd cut off all contact. now i'm regretting telling him, since i expect nothing from him ... but, isn't it th...	purpleraven	7	842	Jun 18, 2011 by purpleraven
	Newbie (Preview) I am new to this webpage. I found out a year ago that my husband had a problem with alcohol. I also found out that he had lied to me about many other things besides the alcohol. When we first met he was still in a relationship with his wife, although he told me they were still married, but seperated and only li...	Kristi136188	5	468	Jun 17, 2011 by Jerry F
	First post here (Preview) Hi everyone, I've been reading the board for about a month, and feel like it's time for me to join in on the conversations. I first want to say that I appreciate that this board and it's members are here any time day or night that I need some ESH. It's really been a great resource for me, and that's why I want t...	lifewontwait	12	691	Jun 17, 2011 by tommyecat
	Request for help... (Preview) Hello everyone, As many of us already know, the economy is taking a toll on so many people, so hard that life as we once knew it has changed. So it is with me. As I write this post I am struggling to just keep my head above water, but the water is rising very fast. And I am reaching out for help. At one time, th...	John	22	3279	Jun 17, 2011 by hopeful411
	wanting the start to a new beginning (Preview) my ab and i have been off and on for many years we have a young child. I am currently in counseling and we are working on making our family work....well so i thought. 1 week he wants the help and admits the problems. Another week its hed rather be an alcoholic then have me nagging him. I'm stronlgy encou...	hopeful411	6	454	Jun 17, 2011 by hopeful411
	dealing with anger (Preview) This morning I began to reflect on a passage I read in my how al-anon works book. In summary it read that the family holding the A out of the water to keep her head from getting wet only supports the disease further to enable her destructive behavior. This made me very angry at her family. They have been doi...	jamfu	6	1115	Jun 17, 2011 by jamfu
	me and daughter r speaking agin ,whew (Preview) gues id thought she was gonna really abandone me completely,but she called me this am and was such a sweet conversation and i got to tell her what was really going on with me ,,,,female problems,im 48 y/0,hormones r really playing games with me lol,but any ways thought id give yall the update hm i typed t...	chinup	1	369	Jun 17, 2011 by Debilyn
	now for sure ex a b/f,lied in court and won. (Preview) took my whole day in court with him back in forth i had to hunt down my witness ,all for nothing the law had the dates mixed up when he actually sliced my brand new tires it had been a yr ago and i couldnt remember took them that long to catch up with him on some other charges that his boss bailed him out of,but b...	chinup	4	585	Jun 17, 2011 by chinup
	Self Doubt.... (Preview) My AS was lashing out last night when he can't get what he wants from me, telling me that I didn't raise him right and that is why his life is in the tank now. I know that he was loved, cared for, we were not perfect (he was our first child), we were young and viewed life in a very simple way. I know how they talk...	DreamsOver	7	673	Jun 17, 2011 by Loupiness
	When will I ever learn?!?!?!? (reposted from ACoA board) (Preview) The last several days, the internal pressure's been building up again. I was aware of it, but thought I was controlling it pretty well and everything was fine. Then yesterday, I made a comment to a co-worker which apparently was far nastier than I realized. Not the comment itself (although I shouldn...	Red Hawk	5	677	Jun 16, 2011 by Red Hawk
	My partner has started to drink again (Preview) I'm new here. I dont know who else to talk to. My partner has started to drink again after 10 weeks of being dry. I'm so so upset as I dont want it to go back to how it was. In the past 10 weeks, I had my best friend back, I fell back in love and had butterflies. I couldnt wait for him to wake up in the morning so I coul...	alexious79	7	3181	Jun 16, 2011 by hopeful411
	Got my meeting fix last night and sponsor question (Preview) I cannot say enough how wonderful it is to have meetings to get to and actually go to. Just having that connection for an hour and a half last night was enough to keep me going for the rest of the week. I got to the Monday night meeting and then last night as well. The people that I know that I have been calli...	youfoundme	5	461	Jun 16, 2011 by youfoundme
	HOPE (Preview) Just remember in the winter Far beneath the bitter snows Lies the seed that with the sun's love In the spring becomes the rose From the song, "THE ROSE" title track to 1979 film. starring Bette Midler. Based on life of Janis Joplin, who died from heroine overdose in 1971 at age of 27. S...	Otie	9	535	Jun 16, 2011 by likemyheart
	better today (Preview) Its good to be here, thankyou. Thank you all for your support and E S and H over the last few days. I feel much better today. I have been speaking with my alanon friend and reading my literature and reading on here. I have realized today that staying calm is really the only way to deal with someone who is...	youfoundme	12	613	Jun 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	I did not engage, finally! (Preview) Hi all.. the other night I went to my parents after work to pick up my daugher, she wanted to stay for dinner, we went back to first feed and bring our dog over. When we returned, we all ate outside for the first time this year - all of us minus my mom. Me, my sister, my dad, my daugher and my niece had a nice dinne...	danielle0516	6	581	Jun 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Why Im here.. (1st post) (Preview) I was recently cheated on by the love of my life because of her addiction to alcohol and prescription drugs.. In the past I have always worked with her to get better but the actions were never as severe as this time. I have boundaries and this time my boundary was broken. I was prepared to never see this...	GratefulOne	9	689	Jun 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	A Suggestion for Those of Us Who are Recovering (Preview) This is just a suggestion (and not advice ): I have a document file that I keep on my computer and everytime I read something on this board, or hear something at one of my Alanon meetings, that really inspires me or that I don't want to forget, I copy and paste, or add, the statement into my document. That wa...	Green Eyes	9	577	Jun 16, 2011 by maryjane
	newcomer and so confused (Preview) I just found this site yesterday, i love it! my therapist has been telling me to go to alanon meetings for months, me being an adult child of a and having ah seemed to think i knew what was best and didn't need those meetings. Boy have i learned alot in just a couple of days of reading. Everyone is so supporti...	sameoldstuff	8	563	Jun 16, 2011 by Corgi2
	Update to "Dealing with Recovery" (Preview) I didn't realize that updating a thread wouldn't bump it, so I'm starting a new thread to let you guys know what's transpired. Just for a refresher, the thread was about ED issues in the recovering alcoholic (specifically my H). Since I posted, my husband injured his back (for the second time) and had...	walkingthrubluebonnets	3	658	Jun 16, 2011 by youfoundme
	Taking Care of Ourselves (Preview) Taking Care of Ourselves It's healthy, wise, and loving to be considerate and responsive to the feelings and needs of others. That's different from caretaking. Caretaking is a self-defeating and, certainly, a relationship defeating behavior - a behavior that backfires and can cause us to feel re...	glad lee	1	515	Jun 16, 2011 by kitty
	what to say (Preview) So I went to a f2f meeting today for the very first time. I cried almost the whole time but was still too scared to share in front of everyone. I hope that I will have more courage in the future. I just wish I knew what to say. I dont want to upset anyone or say the wrong thing if that makes any sense. Any advice?	Betterfuture	10	675	Jun 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Unsure (Preview) This is a great site. It helps to know there are people who have experienced some of the same things I have. Thank you all for your encouraging words and stories. I know I have to make some choices. I'm not really sure where to start, but it helps to know there are people who understand. -- Edited by Ash...	Ashap	4	971	Jun 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Changing things up = good for my recovery. (Preview) I've been feeling a bit spiritually devoid lately. Every now and then, I find a rut that looks welcoming and comfortable - the path is well worn. It's familiar, I don't have to "work" to get to where I'm wanting to go. That's been my life for the past month or so, it seems. Same routine most days...	Aloha	4	440	Jun 16, 2011 by Jerry F
	Sometimes I wish....... (Preview) I wish Linbaba was in my AH's homegroup..... I wish Tom, RLC, hotrod, pinkchip, etc. you know? you ALL have such wisdom - I wish my H could get from you what I have gotten. Egads I wish he would hear all the pain of us enablers, wish he would have all the years of experience offered to him through people like L...	likemyheart	6	676	Jun 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Day 4-starting to feel more at peace (Preview) Today is day 4 since my husband has been off the alcohol. As I watch him load his little container with vitamin pills this morning, my heart broke for him. For the longest time, I blamed him for not quitting because I thought he had control of it and he just didnt' want to quit but for the first time, I saw him...	hopenfaith	5	545	Jun 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Dealing with Recovery (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm new here. I've had alcoholics in my life, my whole life. My grandfather, my father, my exH. My current H is someone that I've been friends with for 17 years and my first and true love. He also is an alcoholic, although recovering. When he wanted to marry me a few years ago, I said no. I...	walkingthrubluebonnets	19	1083	Jun 15, 2011 by walkingthrubluebonnets
	Am I Too detached? I don't know how I feel. (Preview) A little background: A few years ago my AH was diagnosed with a heart defect, Aortic Stenosis, Mild (as opposed to acute); ever since then, even though the battery of tests they did showed no heart blockages, no reasons for any worry, hes latched onto the diagnosis whenever it has suited him to do so to g...	likemyheart	12	839	Jun 15, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Good to be home (Preview) I have been out of town for ten days and I have got to tell you guys it is good to be home. It is such a nice feeling to be "unplugged" away from the computer and being able to burn time without worrying about being late or needing to get to "there" and stressed because I have not left &q...	tommyecat	6	470	Jun 15, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Hide or face it head on? (Preview) Ok, here's my dilemma. During my AH's relapse he had 2 one-night-stands with two seperate women. Both of these women are now involved in a casual relationship with my brother-in-law (Yes, I am painfully aware how twisted this is....) So last night was the first time, since I became aware of the infede...	Aimee	5	548	Jun 15, 2011 by clep
	Struggles with Anxiety....but it is a good day : ) (Preview) Hello all - well, it's been about 1 year since I have heard from my ex-abf. (after five years of hell). I've forgave, but not forgotten which seems to be the problem. some days are good...today is a very good day. Some days are a struggle. I suffered from severe Anxiety and Panic attacks when with th...	mslouise	5	464	Jun 15, 2011 by mslouise
	Hello all, questions and share (Preview) There is an interesting thing going on when my bf drinks. I am not sure what it is, but it has only been happening the last 7 weeks that he drinks to a certain point. He suddenly gets really red in the face, anywhere that he ever had a scar turns deep red (even old bug bite spots), and he can't breathe well. ...	youfoundme	8	692	Jun 15, 2011 by youfoundme
	parent setting boundaries and feeling the pain (Preview) Hi all, Its been a while since I have been here.Tonight is hard for me.I had to tell my 2 drinking children that they are not welcome to stay in my house with my youngest 18 year old daughter who doesn't have a drinking problem, while I am out of town attending my brothers wedding for 9 days.It was really har...	Megthompson	4	544	Jun 15, 2011 by Jerry F
	21, Pregnant, and feeling very alone and frusturated (Preview) My parntner is an alchoholic, who has quit drinking. He quit about a year ago on his own accord, but since then has relapsed several times. Everytime he gets really angry he wants to, and sometimes he breaks down and does. Even though he has quit he still displays a lot of alchoholic patterns. He is very d...	sierramorningstar	7	496	Jun 14, 2011 by sierramorningstar
	Wallowing (Preview) Need encouragement. Recently filed for divorce from AH. With 3 kids (who all have busy summer schedules) and a full time job, have not found time to attend a meeting. Closest meeting is 30 miles away. I have been feeling very alone and trying to hold it together for my kids, but every free moment I ha...	Soobie	7	552	Jun 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	Depression (Preview) My wife has fallen into a deep hole of depression. She's been unable to get out of bed for most of the last 3 days. She's always struggled with depression and had a few depressive episodes like this in the past, however this is the first really major, debilitating one like this since we have known each oth...	usedtobeanyer	8	1174	Jun 14, 2011 by surfingmaestro
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.