The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I admit that for the past few days I have been wandering into the AA message board of MIP. At first I felt a little odd (guilty, I guess) as if I was evesdropping on private conversations----but, apparently we are free to do so.
I know that there are some members of this board who are dual members. I always value their commentary highly because I feel that it is from the horse's mouth---and they are working a program of sobriey.
This is proving to be helpful to me because I struggle constantly with trying to keep the disease seperate from the person. I am trying to detach. I have made strides---but, my gosh it is tricky. I have to stay on it all the time or I slip up.
I had/have a big fear of losing my compassion thru detachment. I am beginning to understand, though, that my first concepts of detachment were erroneous. It seems that it doesn't make sense (completely) until you actually start practicing it.
I am new on this path and I have a long, long way to go. It is hard for hurt and anger to live with compassion and love. They get all twisted up and come out all wrong.
Anyway, I find that "sneaking" over to the other board helps me tap into compassion through greater understanding.
Anyone relate to this? I welcome any feedback that you can give.
Otie, you are welcome to sneak on over to the other board any time you want, and yes, I agree, I believe AA's should peek at the Al-Anon's board and the Al-Anon's should peek at the AA's board... it will help give both sides a much better perspective of what a cunning, baffling and powerful diease we are dealing with.
And again, yes... I agree, remember to detach but don't forget the second part of that process... with love.
John
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" And what did we gain? A new life, with purpose, meaning and constant progress, and all the contentment and fulfillment that comes from such growth."
I have been to open AA meetings and have heard AA ,s share at conventions it has helped me to seperate the person from the disease and also helps me to remember they are not just uncaring horrible people. However I also have to have compassion for myself it i not easy living along side this disease and it affects me also and my children. So I have to keep my eye on the ball which is not easy. Sometimes I would accept unacceptable behaviour because I had to much compassion. I have to remember he is ill bit also he has to favce the reality of his behaviour only this way can he ever want to get better and there will be less to fix once he does get sober. do not be so hard on your self take each day as it comes and try to focus on your recovery hugs tracy xxxx
Yes, I relate... As a teen I went to AA/NA mtgs with my bff when she got clean and that was how I found alanon. It is very enlightening to go to open mtgs.
When I landed back here six yrs ago- I was terrified of becoming selfish by focusing on myself. If u arent already lacking consideration- program wont make u inconsiderate. For me, I had not one iota of compassion for them until I did seperate them (and me) from the disease. Start w triggers- see them as the disease- not you- hand them over to HP and surrender what you identify as the disease -and- set you free by seperating and releasing what you no longer want to manifest/create. Letting go and letting god~ increases your freedom and personal power. Dont forget to forgive you too on your journey- I learned forgiving judgements, detaching, letting go/d, MYOB and being supportive without jumping to rescue = compassion.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
I got a giggle out of your post, even though I can understand the "sneaking" feeling. I think I will do some sneaking over to the AA side, too. Going to open AA meetings has been an invaluable source of recovery for me. I am sure that reading the posts on the AA message board would also be helpful. Thanks for putting it out there so that I could contemplate doing it myself! :)
Hey Otie. hehe... your post made me smile. I can relate. I go over to the AA boards from time to time, I actually found myself going over there less ever since Pinkchip and Lin started posting over here as well. I too gain a lot from their replies and perspective. I've even posted over at the AA board at times, mostly when I was feeling desperate and overwhelmed and wanted to understand alcoholism from the horses mouth. I just wanted to convey what what going on and hear what they had to say. When my AHs drinking progression just exploded and I was scared he was going to die every day - I went over to the AA boards and found, like I do here, strength and hope, and it helped me to be more compassionate.... reminding myself again that it's a disease (which I really do believe but it's harder at times when I feel absolutely out of my mind).
I've also been to open AA meetings and enjoy those as well. I don't go as often to open AA meetings anymore but they did help to give me hope and to find more compassion.
I think it's a beautiful thing to hear where someone has come from, what they've been through, and through finding recovery, where and who they are now - Alanoners and AAers alike.
I read on those AA boards, go to open AA meetings and have read about half the AA big book now. It has helped me better understand that it really is not their fault, its a compulsion that they have to have tools to break free from, just as we need tools to stop our obsession with them...following the spiritual program helps us be able to live with what they are doing. Whether they drink or not I can be happy. :) Great share and topic!
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-youfoundme
Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me...
