Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

KLotus · KLotus

This morning I am having a really hard time again. I have always been able to speak with my MIL about any difficulties I have with my AH or myself. Lately, I don't feel I can. I guess that means I'm feeling alone. I'm doing as many al-anon related things as I can, and trying to practice. I just feel hope...

Katy · Katy

My husband and I went to Oxford, to help our 23 year old daughter move house, Oxford is the place where Harry Potter was filmed with all the fabulous buildings and history, it's a very beutiful university Town, or maybe even city, it has so much to offer, rivers with punts on, boat trips, and open top doub...

PrincessPeriwinkle · PrincessPeriwinkle

I saw a separate post entitled "Al-Anon Annoys Me" by jBunny. I agree with many of her findings regarding Al-Anon meetings (I've been to four). I am new, too, and am having a very difficult time sorting everything out. My son is married to a raging alcoholic, which has now been going on for t...

Doozy · Doozy

I am so thankful for this board and each of you posting and sharing your thoughts, experience, strength and hope! I haven't been posting much or replying, but I have been reading quite a bit and finding so much insight and inspiration. Thank you!! And thank you so much for providing such a safe place to s...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

After another weekend of being ignored by my AH, I am wondering if it's time to give it all up. I would almost rather be yelled at than ignored or disrespected. My AH ignores me, for example, he fails to tell me he isn't coming home for dinner on Saturday. When I call him at his parents, he is all sweet...

david62 · david62

Hello Everyone, I got home this evening from a AA/Al-Anon conference I have attended every year since I first sat in a recovery meeting on April 17, 2004. I love conferences, and this one is probably my favorite. It always has wonderful speakers, great Al-Anon meetings and has had anywhere from 700...

Talula · Talula

Greetings MIP's, Got a call from my brother who isn't doing so well. He wants to end his life, I talked him out of it for today but he lives in another city - 7 hours away. We're both ACOA, he has been to rehab 2 times now and still drinking. He put his head through a window last night and I urged him to go to the em...

Dufferin · Dufferin

Hi everyone, I've never posted here before - and haven't even taken the time to read the FAQs, but I will do that in a minute. I just need to vent a bit first. My husband is off at his second-ever AA meeting at the moment - or so he told me. Except that his sponsor called our home number about twenty minutes aft...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Things are actually quite good these days. My wife has been sober many, many more days than not in the last couple of months. There have been some bumps in the road but she's in a much better place than she was a year ago. Her patience with our sometimes challenging kids has left me in awe at times, especia...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I have woken with very high anxiety levels I think that ocky strap (I found out are called bungy cords?? in America) has sprung back and hit me in the head. I think I have taken it back on. (previous post reference, I was visualising handing his pot drawer over to the universe but it was still attached to a...

NovSun · NovSun

Morning all, Good news - I got the job!! I start training today. Big promotion, more money, more responsibility. Good also because I won't have time during the day to obsess over whether my Afiance drinks or not. On that note, couldn't get through even ONE DAY of no drama. I came home from work last night...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone really needed to come on here and share. I went to a meeting last night. People shared about their childhoods. In my share I said my childhood was good (i do have lots of good memeories of childhood my dad had lots of time for me). I said that my co dependency came from my mother and grandmoth...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Here's our Littile Lucky, the abandoned kitty that I agreed to care for and then find a good home. There's NO way I'm giving him up now! When I first got him, I worried the entire day about what to do with him. Will our adult cat accept him? Do we really want another indoor cat? (No, but...) How will I fi...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi guys I am feeling better today. I gave in and looked in his drawer. I don't know why. I was feeling anxious and it took the anxiety away.. I got my hit??? anyhooooooo.. I didn't do anything with the information but I know I looked for the wrong reasons... We had a chat last night. He was my wonderful ca...

maresie · maresie

I grew up in a family where the boundaries were all amiss. My elder sister was relegated to the parent role (I should say bully really because that's what she became). My parents could barely hold it all together on the most basic level of providing shelter, food and sustenance and there was no emotio...

chinup · chinup

i just came in from a 12 step meeting here in my town i go to ,we r on the 2nd step ,ive found it hard to leave it in gods hands ,but im learning little by little to leave it with him and its actually worked everytime,lol i just want to keep takeing it all back ,but not everytime im learning to leave it with him an...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

It's like I feel like I'm a little kid. Like I need permission to get off the dang merry go round that I started in motion to begin with. I have every right and every desire to get off but I still fall into my sick ways. Last night he came home from a dinner out with his boss and the President of his company. ...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone! I have a confession to make: I don't like drama. I enjoy pause, calm, reflection, and joy. I think sometimes my part in the drama has to do with my fear when I can sense things building in my atmosphere (e.g. if my AH is struggling). I might ask too many times "Are you ok? What's goin...

CUrbs83 · CUrbs83

I'm 27 years old and started dating a guy a year and a half ago who is an alcoholic. He has hurt me so much throughout the past year and I became so disgustingly ill and a codependent b/c of him. He has been sober for 5 months now and says he's a different person but I can't believe him. I truly think he doesn'...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi all I have posted on the ACOA board. I did so yesterday and had a bit of a vent about those childhood things. I think perhaps maybe, it has triggered something inside me and yesterday I had a massively big urge to check on my husbands pot drawer. I deliberately didn't. I stayed away from the drawer so...

bjkansas · bjkansas

When I met my boyfriend, 2 years ago, I knew he drank. He was 42 and I was 38. We got to gether in a relationship and his drinking calmed down considerably. He used to be drunk EVERY night. now it is maybe 3 times a week (still too much). I have told him that he has done much better. If I get on to him about ho...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Prayers please!!!!!!!!!!!! A very dear friend of mine has been fighting cancer for over a year and found out this week that the cancer has metastasized to the bone and a bone marrow transplant isn't an option. The doctors are giving her a few weeks to a couple of months. Please pray for her and her husb...

rara avis · rara avis

I was told something yesterday that I know was told to someone here too. Last night my RA was again being loving, pleasant..and patronizing. Keep in mind he's not going to program and lied to me earlier yesterday morning about ditching his sponsor and why. He said, " I love you.....I don't want...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

This started as a response to another about taking the bait, but I figured out I really have a question. Is it part of the disease for my AH to keep me out of the loop on things regarding the family, then refuse to honor my wishes on them. I feel so left out of things that I should know about in our marriage...

holenheart · holenheart

Working in a toxic enviornment. I know I can't change the people and their gossip and lies etc. I can't change the fact that they don't love me....etc. It bothers me what they think and say about me and how their lies may or may not influence the manager etc. I need to change myself and be consumed wit...

Katy · Katy

As I keep coming back, listening and learning I think it is called peeling away the layers of the onion skin, the answers are always here LURKING, living with an addict really is soul destroying and something I read here this week has really helped me to acknowledge that pain of living in that dreadful...

jbunny · jbunny

What's the point of Al-Anon? I don't get it at all. The whole program seems like a cult trying to sell books. I don't understand why people in Al-Anon don't give "advice" to others. How helpful is that? Al-Anon is not about helping the alcoholic to stop drinking. It seems to me that it...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

After this I will not mention the cruise until I get back. I am almost to the point where I am going to say Yes to my MOM. I know she wants to go pretty bad. I guess I am convinced that I want her to go. I am so grateful today that I live in a beautiful area where even when it is hot, it is still the most beautiful plac...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Many of you know that I just love to laugh. For me laughter is the best medicine. I came across this quote yesterday that just set me off. It is:Regardless of what other people say, my tendency to overreact and lose ALL perspective makes me a THEATRICALLY interesting person.Gosh, that really tickl...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha all and thank you Chinup for your post..."The fear of having to move" because along with my morning meeting and the ESH there and now here I am able to stay centered with what I have learned and am learning in this process called recovery. Chinup said; "ive been renting here for 7...

rara avis · rara avis

Does anyone here have any esh on breaking up/moving out when you're the one with the house and and the sig. other/A/RA is the one who must go? Long story short my RA has blasted through my loose ultimatum, is not taking care of himself, not going to program, not spending time with me, and breaking prom...

chinup · chinup

ive been renting here for 7 yrs my x landlord gave it all up and turned it all over to her lawyer son and things have changed oh my ,ive had to on him about my air conditioner its old and in bad need of maintenance or gotten rid of,he my new lawyer lanlord didnt say nothing except to call back and tell his secret...

odalis · odalis

OK, so my dad is gone and my AH is still here. He has shown no signs of moving out. After not speaking to each other for about a week, We are getting along perfectly now even though he is still drinking. Sometimes this feels so confusing because I was positive I wanted him to move out. Now I am not so sure. I ha...

davehill60 · davehill60

New here and looking for some guidance wife is an A and also abuses ephedra supplements. Have caught her taking the pills numerous times and each time the promises are made to stop. All I asked was to tell me if she used again that never happened the denial that the pills were hers even when they were in h...

emilyNYC · emilyNYC

Hi all- This is my first time posting here as I have just recently come to the decision that I am enabling my ABF and cannot live with his behavior anymore. I know this is not an atypical situation, and while I feel really badly about the whole situation I know that this is what I need to do for myself, and ho...

atheos · atheos

I have had my job for about eight months. It's my first full-time "grown-up" job. The schedule isn't great, and neither is the pay, but I like the people I work with and the company I work for. My manager has been giving me some leeway to adjust my schedule and make it more sleep-compatible, wh...

Patk · Patk

Hi Everyone, Well I never did get that opportunity I had been planning to confront my dad with the divorce document since the court registry would not give it to anyone other than the plaintiff/defendant or the executor of my mothers estate. So, I never met with him personally during my 19-day stay...

winnie · winnie

i just wanted to say thank you to all who responded to my very first post. it feels so good to be able to freely speak my mind, and to have people listening who understand exactly what i'm feeling is just amazing. it's been an ok week. lots of intermittent stress from hurricane irene, but we faired qu...

littlemotel · littlemotel

I feel better this evening. Going to cook dinner for my son & I. Spent the day " talking to myself", "it's not about me", "I need to work on myself", "today the healing begins", "let go & let God", etc. I decided to look & see exactly w...

louberry · louberry

I've been married to my AH for four years, been attending al-anon for four months. I am also 4 months pregnant (surprise to us!). Since finding out that we are pregnant, my AH has quit his job, refused to support me through attempting to get health insurance, drinks/is stoned most of the day and is quite...

atheos · atheos

Had a crummy weekend, made worse by an unexpected and painful health problem, and worrying about a job interview Monday morning (it was a second interview, which I was surprised at even getting because at the first interview I was so nervous I broke the interviewer's pen!). Went to a meeting, left in a...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I try to be open with my kids and put stuff down and use good body language when they want to talk to me. Tonight my 8 year old shared with me that a kid on his foot ball team gave him a hard time. He said the kid and him were against each other in a scrimage. They had to block each other. He said the kid got mad a...

NovSun · NovSun

Hello Everyone, Just wanted to share that I am starting to believe this stuff works! Thanks to all my Al-Anon brothers and sisters who have talked me down and cheered me up. I have been slowly participating in the pricinpals and teachings of Al-Anon for about 2 months. I was just starting to see that I...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

My poor husband, trying so hard to quit drinking! Input way to the er to deal with the pain of detox. He's been up since 4 and I can't even imagine the agony. I am proud of him for his efforts. -- Edited by RLC on Monday 29th of August 2011 08:43:11 AM

youfoundme · youfoundme

Alls well! We got back our power last night. The sun is shining and nothing hit our town house! I feel greatly blessed and grateful... There were others in our complex that had a tree land on their home, and about 7 full trees were blown over in just our complex. I am back at work this morning. Alls we...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

How many of you attend open AA meetings with your A? My AH often invites me to go with him to open meetings and I actually enjoy them a lot. We talk about the meeting afterwards and share our insights. Is this unhealthy? Codependent? I also attend Alanon meetings alone but I find as I work my program my husb...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

For a while I've been struggling with my weight. I've always been curvy but more than a year ago I had some hormonal problems and gained 20 pounds, and haven't been abe to shed them. I was watching Dr. Oz a few weeks ago and he was talking about food addiction and those ladies sounded a lot like me. I'm so obs...

walkingthrubluebonnets · walkingthrubluebonnets

http://alanon.activeboard.com/t43410055/update-to-dealing-with-recovery/

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I think I am ready after a lot of praying, anger & consideration to say that my mom can go w/ us to the Speaker Cruise. She didn't mention it all weekend. By the way, the cruise is on the 17th of Sept. so I have a little time to really decide if I am up to making a solid decision to have her go w/ us. As of today,...

clep · clep

I make a good living. My A does not until recently. He got tired of making little money and got a new job. My sister lives with us and does not work, smokes our cigarettes and eats our food. My A will not take part in our bills at all. He will not help budget and I got tired of the issues. I removed access to...

littlemotel · littlemotel

I feel like I am carrying a load that is finally too heavy to carry. For 17 years I have lived with someone who doesn't seem to see beyond himself. I've tried talking with him explaining how he treats me & the kids is hurtful & that he is the adult & needs to set an example. He just doesn't get...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI everyone I haven't been overly active for the past few days. for the past three weeks I have been on here all day every day. I have been trying to put into practice the things I have learned. Someone told me once, stop trying and actually do it. So I think I did it. My husband did not smoke any pot this we...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi all, so it has been a couple of months since my ABF and I broke up. I finally ended things after finding some strength in the program and working it every day. I admit that I got somewhat lazy with it in the past month or so because I was feeling happier. Guys were noticing me, I had even started talking to s...

Jozie · Jozie

Often Times I Wonder What it is that Keeps Me Slipping back to old habbits? What is it In ME, that Makes me feel the disire to do anothers Inventory, and Yet knowing its Not My Place, or my Business... Been looking a little harder at somethings here lately, and even tho for the most part I keep my side of the...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

...out of the blue, he's sort of back to himself. He took his nap, woke up a couple of hours later, sobered up and actually ate dinner for the first time in over a week. I'm not even going to think about tomorrow, I'm just happy about today!

Pushka · Pushka

Well, it seems like grandma had a TIA and has started recovering from it. It's a situation that to have it confirmed she would have to have testing at the hospital done and moving her at this point is not going to yield good results. She has been eating a little. I'm taking it more of one day at a time. I c...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Today we buried another of my son's friends. He was on his way home from work and fell asleep at the wheel. His name was Justin and he was 19. This is 4 friends my son has lost in 3 years. His dad makes 5. Some were lost to drugs and others either a car or quad accident. I am asking all of my wo...

worknmum · worknmum

Hi everyone, I am new to Al-Anon, but thought I would give this a try and then maybe go to a meeting as well. I have been married to my AH for 20 years and finally came to the realization that while I will never change him, I can change me. (I know, it ONLY took 20 years! lol) So, I found a job in a city that is hop...

nyc018 · nyc018

Hello. I'm going through a tough time now where it seems my AH, from whom I'm separated, is detaching from me. (Hey, wasn't I supposed to be the one doing that?) He's living w/ his mom since last month when he landed in the hospital to detox, and has relapsed at least once since. He is in an outpatient rehab...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone! My AH and I had our second marriage counseling appmt yesterday. I was really feeling low and out of energy from the night before, when I was feeling sick and up in the middle of the night. I was sad, more tearful than usual. I felt very weak, and usually in counseling sessions I feel at leas...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My A (Preview) This morning I am having a really hard time again. I have always been able to speak with my MIL about any difficulties I have with my AH or myself. Lately, I don't feel I can. I guess that means I'm feeling alone. I'm doing as many al-anon related things as I can, and trying to practice. I just feel hope...	KLotus	4	496	Sep 2, 2011 by youfoundme
	Yesterday! (Preview) My husband and I went to Oxford, to help our 23 year old daughter move house, Oxford is the place where Harry Potter was filmed with all the fabulous buildings and history, it's a very beutiful university Town, or maybe even city, it has so much to offer, rivers with punts on, boat trips, and open top doub...	Katy	4	610	Sep 2, 2011 by youfoundme
	The Alcoholic Spouse, my Son and the Elephant in the Room (Preview) I saw a separate post entitled "Al-Anon Annoys Me" by jBunny. I agree with many of her findings regarding Al-Anon meetings (I've been to four). I am new, too, and am having a very difficult time sorting everything out. My son is married to a raging alcoholic, which has now been going on for t...	PrincessPeriwinkle	19	1069	Sep 2, 2011 by PrincessPeriwinkle
	my own worst critic and attacker (Preview) I am so thankful for this board and each of you posting and sharing your thoughts, experience, strength and hope! I haven't been posting much or replying, but I have been reading quite a bit and finding so much insight and inspiration. Thank you!! And thank you so much for providing such a safe place to s...	Doozy	8	607	Sep 2, 2011 by oldgraduate
	How to reconcile staying versus giving up (Preview) After another weekend of being ignored by my AH, I am wondering if it's time to give it all up. I would almost rather be yelled at than ignored or disrespected. My AH ignores me, for example, he fails to tell me he isn't coming home for dinner on Saturday. When I call him at his parents, he is all sweet...	oldgraduate	8	542	Sep 2, 2011 by maresie
	Thank You for Being Here (Preview) Hello Everyone, I got home this evening from a AA/Al-Anon conference I have attended every year since I first sat in a recovery meeting on April 17, 2004. I love conferences, and this one is probably my favorite. It always has wonderful speakers, great Al-Anon meetings and has had anywhere from 700...	david62	6	530	Sep 2, 2011 by maresie
	Suicidal borther (Preview) Greetings MIP's, Got a call from my brother who isn't doing so well. He wants to end his life, I talked him out of it for today but he lives in another city - 7 hours away. We're both ACOA, he has been to rehab 2 times now and still drinking. He put his head through a window last night and I urged him to go to the em...	Talula	5	623	Sep 2, 2011 by Talula
	Brand new - need to vent (Preview) Hi everyone, I've never posted here before - and haven't even taken the time to read the FAQs, but I will do that in a minute. I just need to vent a bit first. My husband is off at his second-ever AA meeting at the moment - or so he told me. Except that his sponsor called our home number about twenty minutes aft...	Dufferin	5	690	Sep 2, 2011 by youfoundme
	I feel traumatized (Preview) Things are actually quite good these days. My wife has been sober many, many more days than not in the last couple of months. There have been some bumps in the road but she's in a much better place than she was a year ago. Her patience with our sometimes challenging kids has left me in awe at times, especia...	usedtobeanyer	13	938	Sep 2, 2011 by kenyon7
	very high anxiety levels (Preview) I have woken with very high anxiety levels I think that ocky strap (I found out are called bungy cords?? in America) has sprung back and hit me in the head. I think I have taken it back on. (previous post reference, I was visualising handing his pot drawer over to the universe but it was still attached to a...	Lindaoakford	5	650	Sep 1, 2011 by Too hard
	Update to Good News - And Question (Preview) Morning all, Good news - I got the job!! I start training today. Big promotion, more money, more responsibility. Good also because I won't have time during the day to obsess over whether my Afiance drinks or not. On that note, couldn't get through even ONE DAY of no drama. I came home from work last night...	NovSun	11	470	Sep 1, 2011 by NovSun
	denial/childhood (Preview) Hi everyone really needed to come on here and share. I went to a meeting last night. People shared about their childhoods. In my share I said my childhood was good (i do have lots of good memeories of childhood my dad had lots of time for me). I said that my co dependency came from my mother and grandmoth...	Tracy	4	544	Sep 1, 2011 by ilovedogs
	Our "One Day at a Time" Kitty (Preview) Here's our Littile Lucky, the abandoned kitty that I agreed to care for and then find a good home. There's NO way I'm giving him up now! When I first got him, I worried the entire day about what to do with him. Will our adult cat accept him? Do we really want another indoor cat? (No, but...) How will I fi...	GailMichelle	5	844	Sep 1, 2011 by tommyecat
	feeling better (Preview) Hi guys I am feeling better today. I gave in and looked in his drawer. I don't know why. I was feeling anxious and it took the anxiety away.. I got my hit??? anyhooooooo.. I didn't do anything with the information but I know I looked for the wrong reasons... We had a chat last night. He was my wonderful ca...	Lindaoakford	5	535	Sep 1, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	total enmeshment (Preview) I grew up in a family where the boundaries were all amiss. My elder sister was relegated to the parent role (I should say bully really because that's what she became). My parents could barely hold it all together on the most basic level of providing shelter, food and sustenance and there was no emotio...	maresie	4	827	Aug 31, 2011 by Doozy
	Thank You Jerry F for that wonderful and helpful share (Preview) i just came in from a 12 step meeting here in my town i go to ,we r on the 2nd step ,ive found it hard to leave it in gods hands ,but im learning little by little to leave it with him and its actually worked everytime,lol i just want to keep takeing it all back ,but not everytime im learning to leave it with him an...	chinup	2	413	Aug 31, 2011 by Doozy
	Why do I feel like I need permission to get off the merry go round? (Preview) It's like I feel like I'm a little kid. Like I need permission to get off the dang merry go round that I started in motion to begin with. I have every right and every desire to get off but I still fall into my sick ways. Last night he came home from a dinner out with his boss and the President of his company. ...	ilovedogs	15	757	Aug 31, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Truth (Preview) Hi Everyone! I have a confession to make: I don't like drama. I enjoy pause, calm, reflection, and joy. I think sometimes my part in the drama has to do with my fear when I can sense things building in my atmosphere (e.g. if my AH is struggling). I might ask too many times "Are you ok? What's goin...	KLotus	9	682	Aug 31, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Stuck (Preview) I'm 27 years old and started dating a guy a year and a half ago who is an alcoholic. He has hurt me so much throughout the past year and I became so disgustingly ill and a codependent b/c of him. He has been sober for 5 months now and says he's a different person but I can't believe him. I truly think he doesn'...	CUrbs83	16	765	Aug 31, 2011 by pinkchip
	not in a good place today (Preview) Hi all I have posted on the ACOA board. I did so yesterday and had a bit of a vent about those childhood things. I think perhaps maybe, it has triggered something inside me and yesterday I had a massively big urge to check on my husbands pot drawer. I deliberately didn't. I stayed away from the drawer so...	Lindaoakford	9	598	Aug 31, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Where do I begin? (Preview) When I met my boyfriend, 2 years ago, I knew he drank. He was 42 and I was 38. We got to gether in a relationship and his drinking calmed down considerably. He used to be drunk EVERY night. now it is maybe 3 times a week (still too much). I have told him that he has done much better. If I get on to him about ho...	bjkansas	5	667	Aug 31, 2011 by Ruby
	Prayers Please!!! (Preview) Prayers please!!!!!!!!!!!! A very dear friend of mine has been fighting cancer for over a year and found out this week that the cancer has metastasized to the bone and a bone marrow transplant isn't an option. The doctors are giving her a few weeks to a couple of months. Please pray for her and her husb...	Mandy123	9	514	Aug 31, 2011 by pineapple
	Not funny, but funny (Preview) I was told something yesterday that I know was told to someone here too. Last night my RA was again being loving, pleasant..and patronizing. Keep in mind he's not going to program and lied to me earlier yesterday morning about ditching his sponsor and why. He said, " I love you.....I don't want...	rara avis	6	792	Aug 31, 2011 by pineapple
	Is the noncompliance part of the disease ? (Preview) This started as a response to another about taking the bait, but I figured out I really have a question. Is it part of the disease for my AH to keep me out of the loop on things regarding the family, then refuse to honor my wishes on them. I feel so left out of things that I should know about in our marriage...	oldgraduate	9	652	Aug 31, 2011 by Jerry F
	People Pleasin Prison (Preview) Working in a toxic enviornment. I know I can't change the people and their gossip and lies etc. I can't change the fact that they don't love me....etc. It bothers me what they think and say about me and how their lies may or may not influence the manager etc. I need to change myself and be consumed wit...	holenheart	5	617	Aug 31, 2011 by xeno59
	I just seem to be getting it more and more! (Preview) As I keep coming back, listening and learning I think it is called peeling away the layers of the onion skin, the answers are always here LURKING, living with an addict really is soul destroying and something I read here this week has really helped me to acknowledge that pain of living in that dreadful...	Katy	2	419	Aug 31, 2011 by ilovedogs
	Annoyed by al-anon (Preview) What's the point of Al-Anon? I don't get it at all. The whole program seems like a cult trying to sell books. I don't understand why people in Al-Anon don't give "advice" to others. How helpful is that? Al-Anon is not about helping the alcoholic to stop drinking. It seems to me that it...	jbunny	19	6150	Aug 31, 2011 by Jennifer
	I am pretty sure... (Preview) After this I will not mention the cruise until I get back. I am almost to the point where I am going to say Yes to my MOM. I know she wants to go pretty bad. I guess I am convinced that I want her to go. I am so grateful today that I live in a beautiful area where even when it is hot, it is still the most beautiful plac...	Hoot Nanny	2	503	Aug 31, 2011 by Pushka
	This just tickles me (Preview) Many of you know that I just love to laugh. For me laughter is the best medicine. I came across this quote yesterday that just set me off. It is:*Regardless of what other people say, my tendency to overreact and lose ALL perspective makes me a THEATRICALLY interesting person.*Gosh, that really tickl...	tommyecat	8	748	Aug 31, 2011 by youfoundme
	A Chinup condition with gratitude... (Preview) Aloha all and thank you Chinup for your post..."The fear of having to move" because along with my morning meeting and the ESH there and now here I am able to stay centered with what I have learned and am learning in this process called recovery. Chinup said; "ive been renting here for 7...	Jerry F	3	533	Aug 31, 2011 by tommyecat
	ESH on breaking up/moving out? (Preview) Does anyone here have any esh on breaking up/moving out when you're the one with the house and and the sig. other/A/RA is the one who must go? Long story short my RA has blasted through my loose ultimatum, is not taking care of himself, not going to program, not spending time with me, and breaking prom...	rara avis	10	721	Aug 31, 2011 by Pushka
	fear of having to move (Preview) ive been renting here for 7 yrs my x landlord gave it all up and turned it all over to her lawyer son and things have changed oh my ,ive had to on him about my air conditioner its old and in bad need of maintenance or gotten rid of,he my new lawyer lanlord didnt say nothing except to call back and tell his secret...	chinup	2	684	Aug 31, 2011 by Debilyn
	update and confused all over again! (Preview) OK, so my dad is gone and my AH is still here. He has shown no signs of moving out. After not speaking to each other for about a week, We are getting along perfectly now even though he is still drinking. Sometimes this feels so confusing because I was positive I wanted him to move out. Now I am not so sure. I ha...	odalis	3	631	Aug 31, 2011 by Debilyn
	New here dealing with the 13th step (Preview) New here and looking for some guidance wife is an A and also abuses ephedra supplements. Have caught her taking the pills numerous times and each time the promises are made to stop. All I asked was to tell me if she used again that never happened the denial that the pills were hers even when they were in h...	davehill60	6	934	Aug 30, 2011 by anyoneofus
	First-timer with housing/detachment question (Preview) Hi all- This is my first time posting here as I have just recently come to the decision that I am enabling my ABF and cannot live with his behavior anymore. I know this is not an atypical situation, and while I feel really badly about the whole situation I know that this is what I need to do for myself, and ho...	emilyNYC	5	579	Aug 30, 2011 by maresie
	Should I feel guilty about this? (Preview) I have had my job for about eight months. It's my first full-time "grown-up" job. The schedule isn't great, and neither is the pay, but I like the people I work with and the company I work for. My manager has been giving me some leeway to adjust my schedule and make it more sleep-compatible, wh...	atheos	6	558	Aug 30, 2011 by onewholovesrock
	Need advice about how to detach in a loving and uderstanding way (Preview) Hi Everyone, Well I never did get that opportunity I had been planning to confront my dad with the divorce document since the court registry would not give it to anyone other than the plaintiff/defendant or the executor of my mothers estate. So, I never met with him personally during my 19-day stay...	Patk	2	451	Aug 30, 2011 by Tracy
	just a word of thanks (Preview) i just wanted to say thank you to all who responded to my very first post. it feels so good to be able to freely speak my mind, and to have people listening who understand exactly what i'm feeling is just amazing. it's been an ok week. lots of intermittent stress from hurricane irene, but we faired qu...	winnie	4	542	Aug 30, 2011 by pineapple
	Snooping? (Preview) I feel better this evening. Going to cook dinner for my son & I. Spent the day " talking to myself", "it's not about me", "I need to work on myself", "today the healing begins", "let go & let God", etc. I decided to look & see exactly w...	littlemotel	6	594	Aug 30, 2011 by tommyecat
	fighting and failing. (Preview) I've been married to my AH for four years, been attending al-anon for four months. I am also 4 months pregnant (surprise to us!). Since finding out that we are pregnant, my AH has quit his job, refused to support me through attempting to get health insurance, drinks/is stoned most of the day and is quite...	louberry	5	681	Aug 30, 2011 by youfoundme
	Meetings make everything seem better! (I LOVE AL-ANON!) (Preview) Had a crummy weekend, made worse by an unexpected and painful health problem, and worrying about a job interview Monday morning (it was a second interview, which I was surprised at even getting because at the first interview I was so nervous I broke the interviewer's pen!). Went to a meeting, left in a...	atheos	4	452	Aug 30, 2011 by youfoundme
	Giving Alanon to my 8 year old son (Preview) I try to be open with my kids and put stuff down and use good body language when they want to talk to me. Tonight my 8 year old shared with me that a kid on his foot ball team gave him a hard time. He said the kid and him were against each other in a scrimage. They had to block each other. He said the kid got mad a...	youfoundme	12	428	Aug 30, 2011 by youfoundme
	Some Good News (Preview) Hello Everyone, Just wanted to share that I am starting to believe this stuff works! Thanks to all my Al-Anon brothers and sisters who have talked me down and cheered me up. I have been slowly participating in the pricinpals and teachings of Al-Anon for about 2 months. I was just starting to see that I...	NovSun	5	507	Aug 30, 2011 by NovSun
	Detox ! (Preview) My poor husband, trying so hard to quit drinking! Input way to the er to deal with the pain of detox. He's been up since 4 and I can't even imagine the agony. I am proud of him for his efforts. -- Edited by RLC on Monday 29th of August 2011 08:43:11 AM	Mlkiss75	4	871	Aug 29, 2011 by pinkchip
	We made it through the rain and hurricane (Preview) Alls well! We got back our power last night. The sun is shining and nothing hit our town house! I feel greatly blessed and grateful... There were others in our complex that had a tree land on their home, and about 7 full trees were blown over in just our complex. I am back at work this morning. Alls we...	youfoundme	8	385	Aug 29, 2011 by Doozy
	Attending Meetings Together (Preview) How many of you attend open AA meetings with your A? My AH often invites me to go with him to open meetings and I actually enjoy them a lot. We talk about the meeting afterwards and share our insights. Is this unhealthy? Codependent? I also attend Alanon meetings alone but I find as I work my program my husb...	surfgirl123	6	491	Aug 29, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Being honest with myself. (Preview) For a while I've been struggling with my weight. I've always been curvy but more than a year ago I had some hormonal problems and gained 20 pounds, and haven't been abe to shed them. I was watching Dr. Oz a few weeks ago and he was talking about food addiction and those ladies sounded a lot like me. I'm so obs...	Priscilla83	5	738	Aug 29, 2011 by Priscilla83
	He relapsed (Preview) http://alanon.activeboard.com/t43410055/update-to-dealing-with-recovery/	walkingthrubluebonnets	12	601	Aug 29, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	I think I am ready... (Preview) I think I am ready after a lot of praying, anger & consideration to say that my mom can go w/ us to the Speaker Cruise. She didn't mention it all weekend. By the way, the cruise is on the 17th of Sept. so I have a little time to really decide if I am up to making a solid decision to have her go w/ us. As of today,...	Hoot Nanny	3	469	Aug 29, 2011 by Pushka
	I'm losing it, fear, and things are becoming very clear. (Preview) I make a good living. My A does not until recently. He got tired of making little money and got a new job. My sister lives with us and does not work, smokes our cigarettes and eats our food. My A will not take part in our bills at all. He will not help budget and I got tired of the issues. I removed access to...	clep	8	548	Aug 29, 2011 by clep
	How do I let go? (Preview) I feel like I am carrying a load that is finally too heavy to carry. For 17 years I have lived with someone who doesn't seem to see beyond himself. I've tried talking with him explaining how he treats me & the kids is hurtful & that he is the adult & needs to set an example. He just doesn't get...	littlemotel	6	527	Aug 29, 2011 by littlemotel
	giving it over (Preview) HI everyone I haven't been overly active for the past few days. for the past three weeks I have been on here all day every day. I have been trying to put into practice the things I have learned. Someone told me once, stop trying and actually do it. So I think I did it. My husband did not smoke any pot this we...	Lindaoakford	3	511	Aug 29, 2011 by Jozie
	I get so far and fall so hard (Preview) Hi all, so it has been a couple of months since my ABF and I broke up. I finally ended things after finding some strength in the program and working it every day. I admit that I got somewhat lazy with it in the past month or so because I was feeling happier. Guys were noticing me, I had even started talking to s...	Corgi2	9	564	Aug 29, 2011 by mslouise
	Stuck in "Ism" Muck & More (Preview) Often Times I Wonder What it is that Keeps Me Slipping back to old habbits? What is it In ME, that Makes me feel the disire to do anothers Inventory, and Yet knowing its Not My Place, or my Business... Been looking a little harder at somethings here lately, and even tho for the most part I keep my side of the...	Jozie	2	782	Aug 29, 2011 by hotrod
	And just like that... (Preview) ...out of the blue, he's sort of back to himself. He took his nap, woke up a couple of hours later, sobered up and actually ate dinner for the first time in over a week. I'm not even going to think about tomorrow, I'm just happy about today!	Mlkiss75	7	645	Aug 29, 2011 by youfoundme
	Update Grandma - Thank you (Preview) Well, it seems like grandma had a TIA and has started recovering from it. It's a situation that to have it confirmed she would have to have testing at the hospital done and moving her at this point is not going to yield good results. She has been eating a little. I'm taking it more of one day at a time. I c...	Pushka	9	473	Aug 29, 2011 by Jozie
	Another Tragedy (Preview) Hello Friends, Today we buried another of my son's friends. He was on his way home from work and fell asleep at the wheel. His name was Justin and he was 19. This is 4 friends my son has lost in 3 years. His dad makes 5. Some were lost to drugs and others either a car or quad accident. I am asking all of my wo...	Andrea12	8	613	Aug 29, 2011 by Jozie
	AH trying to draw me back into the drama (Preview) Hi everyone, I am new to Al-Anon, but thought I would give this a try and then maybe go to a meeting as well. I have been married to my AH for 20 years and finally came to the realization that while I will never change him, I can change me. (I know, it ONLY took 20 years! lol) So, I found a job in a city that is hop...	worknmum	8	660	Aug 29, 2011 by youfoundme
	Who Is Detaching? (Preview) Hello. I'm going through a tough time now where it seems my AH, from whom I'm separated, is detaching from me. (Hey, wasn't I supposed to be the one doing that?) He's living w/ his mom since last month when he landed in the hospital to detox, and has relapsed at least once since. He is in an outpatient rehab...	nyc018	7	678	Aug 29, 2011 by youfoundme
	Second appointment (Preview) Hi Everyone! My AH and I had our second marriage counseling appmt yesterday. I was really feeling low and out of energy from the night before, when I was feeling sick and up in the middle of the night. I was sad, more tearful than usual. I felt very weak, and usually in counseling sessions I feel at leas...	KLotus	5	584	Aug 29, 2011 by youfoundme
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.