Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Rn2012 · Rn2012

Hi all, I went to my first Al-Anon meeting today. It was a meeting for adult children. However, as we know everyone in invited. During the meeting I really connected with some of the things members were saying, like how your feelings are not your own, and you do not know what you truly want because someon...

KLotus · KLotus

Today I realised some things after talking with my sponsor. Seven years ago I ended a relationship with someone I was very much in love with. We had dated for over a year. It was probably the most influential relationship in my life (outside of parents). I starting seeing a therapist while in that r...

littlemotel · littlemotel

My husband & I have been together for 17 years. He was drinking the first 2 then stopped after his third DUI, but even sober he was very hard to live with at times. The last 2-3 years have been extremely difficult. I think it is because I have had enough & I am tired. The way he has treated the kid...

New member hello and a question · Anxietyfreak40

Hello, I found this site by accident. I was writing in my journal on the daily strength website and was trying to find an al anon quote that I remembered but do not have any of my books with me where I am staying. Anyway, glad to have found this message board and want to say hello to everyone. Also, was wond...

kay115 · kay115

So today is the day I am moving out. My parents are on their way, I am finishing up the last of the boxes, and in couple of hours I will be on my way to a new city to start over. Saying goodbye to my AH yesterday was emotional, but I think we are both realizing this may be for the best. He even sounded hopeful about...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just got off the phone after making 2 phone calls for help. Reaching out for help is not a usual behavior for an enabler as the default is thinking I can do it and do it all now all the time and I face fear again of...judgement from others or the "what ifs"; what if they say no, what if they tell me...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

My husband has been on a binge for the past 4 weeks. I've been living the slogans "easy does it," "live and let live" and "let go and let god." So I've been basically leaving him up to his own devices. I'm scared though - today he drank a lot very quickly and got incredibly...

Overcome · Overcome

I'm back up and running with the computer, so Sunday meeting's are ON!! Thanks to Dani for covering for me the last two Sunday's while my computer was down. Hope to see all of you there next week! Love in Recovery, Overcome -- Edited by Overcome on Sunday 28th of August 2011 08:33:53 PM

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My dh is not drinking tonight but he's just getting on my nerves. How do you handle it when someone gives you the silent treatment just because you got ticked at how they were behaving? Namely:while watching a football game, he was talking like he was from another race and making fun of them and makin...

kay115 · kay115

So, told AH on Saturday morning that I was moving out and going to stay with my parents in a different city. We tried staying amicably in the apartment for that day/night, but he got drunk after work, came home, started a huge argument about who gets to keep the dog and such. Eventually things calmed down...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Hi everyone. I'm a grateful member of al-anon. The A in my life is my partner. She is a "functioning" A, we both work full-time. Her mother was an A. She told me she was an A about 2 years ago, it was a shock. *sigh*. I crossed my boundary tonight. Not to engage with the A partner. It's been tough es...

rrib · rrib

Going on vacation. omg i'll feeling withdrawl symtoms from the thought of NO INTERNET for 2 weeks!!! Cya all later

youfoundme · youfoundme

I live in an area that is getting a hurricane this weekend... pray its not too bad... I will be praying to HP to guide us through... I have the kids this weekend too, so we will make sure to keep them safe :) Thanks all! If I am not on for a few days, you will know why! youfoundme

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This whole post is again going to be focused on my MOM! It saddens me to think that another person in my family has to remind me how important & deserving my mom is of spending time w/ me when I don't really want to. My aunt who has some points messaged me on Facebook this morning aboout the importance of...

winnie · winnie

joined 1 minute ago. feel so helpless, again. can't stop crying because i miss the man i fell in love with. found more hidden alcohol and started looking up online help. can't believe i read the exact post of what i had just done moments before. i threw it out. i'm tired of all the empty promises. b...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Just wanted to let you know my husband of 39 + years died peacefully in his sleep at 5 O'clock this morning - (British time). The last 5 years may have been a nightmare but he was the love of my life and we had so many happy years before the drink took hold. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers - you will n...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

But I don't. My biggest issue is the fact that he hides his drinking in the late afternoon when I'm out with my son at the gym or at after school activities. Then, if I want to go to a party with my girlfriends(jewerly parties, candle parties, etc) and ds wants to go out and get food I know that my husband wi...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

Hi family: Just checking in today. No updates to report. Maintaining pretty much at this time. Still job searching as well as taking care of Shirley. I will report to work on Sept. 6. Since my job depends on students' enrollment, it is uncertain how many hours I will work. I am not worried about it at all...

KLotus · KLotus

I am again having difficulty concentrating at work. I am again struggling to feel anything other than negative about myself. I don't really even know why. So, I check in here, I read, "listen," and write to all of you instead of sit in "silence," hoping it will help me to cente...

abbyal · abbyal

Our f2f meeting this morning was on self esteem and self worth it was amazing , some of us seek it from our work others from our relationships and most of us from our partners who were too sick to give any encouragement for our efforts . most of us were people pleasers at one time but also resented the reque...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

Drinking last night turned into drinking today. Months and months of sobriety ended by a 2-day bender. So what am I going to do about me? I am not going to be snarky, naggy, lecture, or be catty. I will be respectful and courteous. I will keep a respectful distance since I don't like to be around him whe...

Storm21 · Storm21

My family is filled with alcoholics, recovering and still drinking. For many years I didn't want to touch a drop of alcohol or even be around people that drink. When I see my father who is a "recovering alcoholic" drink or talk about drinking, it makes my skin crawl. Thankfully he got away fr...

Pushka · Pushka

My grandma is 93 years old. She's in a nursing home and has stopped eating. It seems like maybe this is it. It could be two days or it could be two weeks. My mom and I are both only children and I'm not around the corner from them. They have been living together for about 8 years now. This summer is the fi...

Doozy · Doozy

Well, I am really, really missing my ex abf lately. Tonight has been really tough. I'm posting here because I know you guys will understand and because I'm dangerously close to contacting him and I don't think that would do anything good. we had about 3 years together and family weekends with his kid...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi I was just wondering, do any of you drink or anything? Most people in Al Anon that I know, do not drink if their partner is an alcoholic. In my youth I was a big pot smoker and loved the stuff, and my husband knows that. He has seen me stoned on substances in a recreational use sense, he is stoned also at t...

sameoldstuff · sameoldstuff

Hi everyone! As some of you know my ah has been in and out of 30 day rehabs since april. I had filed for divorce while he was away, but as of a few weeks ago I have dropped the divorce. I had done that before I found this site and al-anon f2f mtgs (only been to a couple). Here is my question he is a different man al...

KLotus · KLotus

Thanks to all of you for the continued support. I tried to reach out to a couple of trusted individuals yesterday, which also got me through. I decided to spend the last two nights sleeping in a different bedroom. I know my AH is angry, but it would be a big deal for me to do that and not feel guilty about it...

nyc018 · nyc018

I am new to this forum and have just started attending Alanon meetings. Feeling very down now. AH and I separated last month (not legally, he went to live with his mom) after his alcoholism got out of control and he landed in the hospital detoxing a week. He is in an outpatient rehab and attends AA, but has...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

I looked at my profile I joined this group 21 days ago. three small weeks. It feels like so much longer. The truth is it is open at work all day long and am on here for hours at a time reading. If my boss knew... woops!!!! 21 days ago I was spinning out of control. I was checking up on my husband (pot smoke...

onewholovesrock · onewholovesrock

I had f2f meeting tonight, she had a AA meeting in the same building. She drove. (The car I bought for her) She was being pretty revved up today. After the meetings we argued over dinner plans just like most nights. She was very angry and was driving very dangerously. I tried keeping my mouth shut to keep...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all my A is active again after 9 months sober his disease has progressed and I have detached trying hard to work my programme and do what is right for me and my kids. I text him couple of days ago and said that he was ill and hoped he could reach out to his hp but I can not watch and i wanted no contact anymore....

Ruby · Ruby

Yesterday I was so happy about my al/ad drgoing to an n/a meeting, and she said she was going to go to an a/a meeting also. Today was another story, we were talking and I was enjoying her and happy I decided to let her stay for a few days. Then she started talking about witchcraft, and feeling she has been...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

In a recent post, Jerry F asked all of us MIPers who haven't written a bio to do so in order to make the "family real." Well Jerry, I strived to do so and got anxious. I didn't know what to include. But I agree, adding a bio does help. I will do so later. Until "later" gets here, I deci...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody! Does anybody have any suggestions for anger? Besides physical exercise - I definitely do that when I'm mad! I mean, what has worked for you when you're mad at your qualifier and reading soothing literature/music/whatnot is to gentle for you for the moment? Meanwhile your qualifie...

Jess · Jess

My brother, age 34, finally decided to go to a sober living home after we (3 friends of his and I) had an intervention w/ him. He's been there for 2 weeks. My father agreed to pay for it, hoping he'll be able to start paying his rent within 3 months. He has 2 warrants out for his arrest b/c of 2 unresolved DUIs...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I wanted to share something I heard in my meeting last night. A long time member was reflecting on his early days in Al Anon, where he was talking to someone who had been in the program a while. He was venting about all of the horrible things his wife was doing, and the other member just kept saying "ye...

esp_58 · esp_58

I have been married for 26 years. Of those years my husband has been drinking off and on for 15 years. It could be longer but I am numb to how long. My counselor has asked me to go to al-anon meetings, just cannot get there. I think I am done? What should I do?

MrsHennepope · MrsHennepope

Hi everyone! I suppose this post is mostly to vent but also to see if anyone else had had this same problem I'm having.My AH is constantly changing the "rules",by rules I just mean things we've agreed on or what not,not actual rules he sets out for me.The ame plan always changes in the morning...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

All in all, things are quite good right now. As some of you may recall, it wasn't too long ago that I posted about my ex-AH going through horrific withdrawals. He did go in to a 30-day rehab and continues to go to outpatient classes. He believes this was his bottom. Hopefully, he is correct. He has ha...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

I got a text a bit ago that AH (who has been sober for quite some time now) stopped off for a beer with the guys. He's previously told me he thought he'd eventually drink again, just in moderation this time. Maybe he will. I feel like I am being tested.... "How is she going to react?" "Wh...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

Lindaoakford you talk a lot about your ongoing relationship with "the drawer", and the desire to look, but the understanding that looking is only going to make you crazy. Although AH has been dry (until tonight, see other post), I like that visual. Although AH doesn't have a drawer, per s...

odalis · odalis

My dad is visiting me. Aside from 4 months ago, I have not seen him in 4 years. He is also an alcoholic, part of the reason he and my mother separated when I was 10 was because of his drinking problem. he also helped me tremendously during one of the most difficult times in my life as pregnant teen who had bee...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Hi, I am youfoundme and I am a grateful member of alanon... I had a bad night last night. There was some stuff going on and I knew I had not control over it. I had two glasses of wine with my A....He has been having a couple of drinks only here and there and for some reason I thought, well why not? I am not...

atheos · atheos

The woman I sat next to at my face-to-face meeting today had sniffles and a runny nose, and kept wiping it with her hand (without using Kleenex). I was getting really grossed out, and wasn't sure what I should do at the end of the meeting when it came time to join hands for the serenity prayer I wound up spen...

RLC · RLC

I received this from an Al-Anon friend today and thought I would share it with my MIP FamilyHUGS,RLC THE BUTTERFLY STORY Whenever we see a fuzzy caterpillar it is hard for us to realize that s...

jbunny · jbunny

I gave my abf the break-up letter I wrote this morning. I know I did the right thing for my sanity. I could not go on riding the emotional rollercoaster I have been on for the past 3 and 1/2 years in this relationship. I feel calm and peaceful about my decision right now. In the past breaking up has felt l...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I just don't get it. Why would you hide beer when you drink beer in the open around the family anyway? How silly is that? Is hiding alcohol just habitual? I get why he hides the little bottles of vodka or whiskey, but beer? Beer needs to be chilled. You may as well just put it in the fridge next to the Gu...

Pushka · Pushka

This past couple of weeks the word "willingness" has kept popping out at me. It's been so great to know that there are two different kinds of steps the "ready now" steps and the "willing now" ones. I have been ready to admit where I am powerless over my life and I try an...

KLotus · KLotus

Gratitude everyone. I am thankful for this board. Yesterday my AH and I had our first real marriage counseling session. I liked the counselor well enough, and she has experience/background in addiction issues. We basically laid some groundwork, and gave an overview. My AH was much more calm th...

maresie · maresie

Today I learned someone whoI had a real resentment towards had died suddenly. The resentment was a pretty remote one, an envy at their success so please don't send me condolences. This isn't about loss, or wanting to have closure or any of that. I have not spoken to this person for years they weren't...

Lyne · Lyne

Ok so my Aspouse went out last night for dinner to thank so co-workers for a summer project. I figured she was going to drink. Prior to joining alanon, I had bought alcohol saliva tests on a q-tip type thing. I just can't stand her lying and drinking, and I wanted to have some control. I also don't want...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

Hi everybody. Today for the first time in almost a year my AH missed his appointment with his psychiatrist/therapist. He said he was too tired, but I knw is cause he found this new doctor that will give prescriptions without a session. So I told him exactly that and he snapped. I guess people don't like t...

canadianguy · canadianguy

This morning on Facebook, a friend had posted a quote from Dr. Suess (love quotes from Dr. Suess). I smiled when I read it, as it made me think of MIP, and/or Al-Anon.... I hope it doesn't offend anyone, but I think it fits rather well for us, as we come from all different walks of life, with all kinds of un...

sirchef · sirchef

another acronym that I find so difficult. Why is it that my anger can just fuel such emotion in me I understand it on;y make things worse? And when I'm hungry I eat poorly and binge on junk rather tfan take the time to eat something that will nourish me rather fill the whole? I'm lonely and sometimes so very...

rose903 · rose903

Hello, Not sure who to ask this, please let me know who to inform. I needed to ask if meetings are sometimes cancelled? This morning's meeting wasn't starting a half hour after the scheduled time so I asked the chat room if there was going to be one and someone called Anonymous (name removed) said he/s...

Otie · Otie

I had a long phone conversation with my sister and she was bemoaning many things about our mother. This made me think of the many discussions here on the board. My sister is under the impression that her personality bears no similarity to that of our mother. WRONG. I see soo many characteristics tha...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today like most days I really feel like I might be coming around to where I need to be. I struggle w/ so much. I hope I can find some peace & serenity where I am at today. Only my HP knows how much I can handle. I know He is watching & waiting for me to come to grips w/ all my issues, insecurities, etc. So m...

clep · clep

My sister is an ACOA as am I. I have been fortunate to have been in the rooms of Al-anon for a couple of years and many years of work on myself before that. My charachteristics have almost gone now from my A childhood and father. My sister who lives with me is a basket case however. She has the classic symp...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

There is a tear in my coffee some days. I am not really that sad but I do have my moments! I realized after my last post that I can be a real downer. I feel this is true especially when I talk about not having kids. I guess I still have to live in acceptance at 45. I just wish that I could over my regrets--medicati...

Doozy · Doozy

I feel really good about my progress over the last year and especially since finding Alanon a few months ago. It was definitely the right time for me! I am going through the steps and attending face to face meetings and doing nearly everything I'm "supposed" to do except I still haven't foun...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Same "symptoms" but no alcohol? (Preview) Hi all, I went to my first Al-Anon meeting today. It was a meeting for adult children. However, as we know everyone in invited. During the meeting I really connected with some of the things members were saying, like how your feelings are not your own, and you do not know what you truly want because someon...	Rn2012	5	925	Aug 29, 2011 by youfoundme
	God (Preview) Today I realised some things after talking with my sponsor. Seven years ago I ended a relationship with someone I was very much in love with. We had dated for over a year. It was probably the most influential relationship in my life (outside of parents). I starting seeing a therapist while in that r...	KLotus	13	588	Aug 29, 2011 by KLotus
	Where do I begin? (Preview) My husband & I have been together for 17 years. He was drinking the first 2 then stopped after his third DUI, but even sober he was very hard to live with at times. The last 2-3 years have been extremely difficult. I think it is because I have had enough & I am tired. The way he has treated the kid...	littlemotel	6	648	Aug 29, 2011 by youfoundme
	New member hello and a question (Preview) Hello, I found this site by accident. I was writing in my journal on the daily strength website and was trying to find an al anon quote that I remembered but do not have any of my books with me where I am staying. Anyway, glad to have found this message board and want to say hello to everyone. Also, was wond...	Anxietyfreak40	6	441	Aug 29, 2011 by youfoundme
	Moving Day (Preview) So today is the day I am moving out. My parents are on their way, I am finishing up the last of the boxes, and in couple of hours I will be on my way to a new city to start over. Saying goodbye to my AH yesterday was emotional, but I think we are both realizing this may be for the best. He even sounded hopeful about...	kay115	5	407	Aug 29, 2011 by NovSun
	Apathy and procrastination.... (Preview) Just got off the phone after making 2 phone calls for help. Reaching out for help is not a usual behavior for an enabler as the default is thinking I can do it and do it all now all the time and I face fear again of...judgement from others or the "what ifs"; what if they say no, what if they tell me...	Jerry F	9	701	Aug 29, 2011 by Jozie
	Thinking things through and trying not to panic. (Preview) My husband has been on a binge for the past 4 weeks. I've been living the slogans "easy does it," "live and let live" and "let go and let god." So I've been basically leaving him up to his own devices. I'm scared though - today he drank a lot very quickly and got incredibly...	Mlkiss75	14	576	Aug 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Sunday nights meeting (Preview) I'm back up and running with the computer, so Sunday meeting's are ON!! Thanks to Dani for covering for me the last two Sunday's while my computer was down. Hope to see all of you there next week! Love in Recovery, Overcome -- Edited by Overcome on Sunday 28th of August 2011 08:33:53 PM	Overcome	1	337	Aug 28, 2011 by Jerry F
	Getting the silent treatment (Preview) My dh is not drinking tonight but he's just getting on my nerves. How do you handle it when someone gives you the silent treatment just because you got ticked at how they were behaving? Namely:while watching a football game, he was talking like he was from another race and making fun of them and makin...	ilovedogs	6	794	Aug 28, 2011 by Priscilla83
	Update on my situation (Preview) So, told AH on Saturday morning that I was moving out and going to stay with my parents in a different city. We tried staying amicably in the apartment for that day/night, but he got drunk after work, came home, started a huge argument about who gets to keep the dog and such. Eventually things calmed down...	kay115	5	538	Aug 28, 2011 by worknmum
	Crossed my boundaries tonight. Argument with the A. (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm a grateful member of al-anon. The A in my life is my partner. She is a "functioning" A, we both work full-time. Her mother was an A. She told me she was an A about 2 years ago, it was a shock. sigh. I crossed my boundary tonight. Not to engage with the A partner. It's been tough es...	jitsuka	11	891	Aug 28, 2011 by Pushka
	cya later (Preview) Going on vacation. omg i'll feeling withdrawl symtoms from the thought of NO INTERNET for 2 weeks!!! Cya all later	rrib	10	614	Aug 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Hurricane coming (Preview) I live in an area that is getting a hurricane this weekend... pray its not too bad... I will be praying to HP to guide us through... I have the kids this weekend too, so we will make sure to keep them safe :) Thanks all! If I am not on for a few days, you will know why! youfoundme	youfoundme	15	531	Aug 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	GUILT TRIPS--I CALL THEM LIKE I SEE THEM! (Preview) This whole post is again going to be focused on my MOM! It saddens me to think that another person in my family has to remind me how important & deserving my mom is of spending time w/ me when I don't really want to. My aunt who has some points messaged me on Facebook this morning aboout the importance of...	Hoot Nanny	4	594	Aug 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	i need help (Preview) joined 1 minute ago. feel so helpless, again. can't stop crying because i miss the man i fell in love with. found more hidden alcohol and started looking up online help. can't believe i read the exact post of what i had just done moments before. i threw it out. i'm tired of all the empty promises. b...	winnie	9	818	Aug 27, 2011 by Hot Chicka
	RIP Stephen (Preview) Just wanted to let you know my husband of 39 + years died peacefully in his sleep at 5 O'clock this morning - (British time). The last 5 years may have been a nightmare but he was the love of my life and we had so many happy years before the drink took hold. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers - you will n...	Tattyhead	31	850	Aug 27, 2011 by Rocky38
	Another question that I feel I should have the answer to.... (Preview) But I don't. My biggest issue is the fact that he hides his drinking in the late afternoon when I'm out with my son at the gym or at after school activities. Then, if I want to go to a party with my girlfriends(jewerly parties, candle parties, etc) and ds wants to go out and get food I know that my husband wi...	ilovedogs	11	420	Aug 27, 2011 by Pushka
	Just Checking In (Preview) Hi family: Just checking in today. No updates to report. Maintaining pretty much at this time. Still job searching as well as taking care of Shirley. I will report to work on Sept. 6. Since my job depends on students' enrollment, it is uncertain how many hours I will work. I am not worried about it at all...	hawaiilover	3	340	Aug 27, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Trying to center (Preview) I am again having difficulty concentrating at work. I am again struggling to feel anything other than negative about myself. I don't really even know why. So, I check in here, I read, "listen," and write to all of you instead of sit in "silence," hoping it will help me to cente...	KLotus	11	508	Aug 27, 2011 by pinkchip
	Self esteem and self worth (Preview) Our f2f meeting this morning was on self esteem and self worth it was amazing , some of us seek it from our work others from our relationships and most of us from our partners who were too sick to give any encouragement for our efforts . most of us were people pleasers at one time but also resented the reque...	abbyal	5	3176	Aug 27, 2011 by hotrod
	Checking In (Preview) Drinking last night turned into drinking today. Months and months of sobriety ended by a 2-day bender. So what am I going to do about me? I am not going to be snarky, naggy, lecture, or be catty. I will be respectful and courteous. I will keep a respectful distance since I don't like to be around him whe...	Hot Chicka	7	569	Aug 27, 2011 by Hot Chicka
	Where do I start for online Christian chatting (Preview) My family is filled with alcoholics, recovering and still drinking. For many years I didn't want to touch a drop of alcohol or even be around people that drink. When I see my father who is a "recovering alcoholic" drink or talk about drinking, it makes my skin crawl. Thankfully he got away fr...	Storm21	2	1924	Aug 27, 2011 by tommyecat
	Need some prayers, positive thoughts (Preview) My grandma is 93 years old. She's in a nursing home and has stopped eating. It seems like maybe this is it. It could be two days or it could be two weeks. My mom and I are both only children and I'm not around the corner from them. They have been living together for about 8 years now. This summer is the fi...	Pushka	16	498	Aug 27, 2011 by Doozy
	Missing him... (Preview) Well, I am really, really missing my ex abf lately. Tonight has been really tough. I'm posting here because I know you guys will understand and because I'm dangerously close to contacting him and I don't think that would do anything good. we had about 3 years together and family weekends with his kid...	Doozy	6	579	Aug 27, 2011 by Doozy
	Do any of you 'partake'? (Preview) Hi I was just wondering, do any of you drink or anything? Most people in Al Anon that I know, do not drink if their partner is an alcoholic. In my youth I was a big pot smoker and loved the stuff, and my husband knows that. He has seen me stoned on substances in a recreational use sense, he is stoned also at t...	Lindaoakford	28	797	Aug 26, 2011 by mikeco
	Is this good or bad? (Preview) Hi everyone! As some of you know my ah has been in and out of 30 day rehabs since april. I had filed for divorce while he was away, but as of a few weeks ago I have dropped the divorce. I had done that before I found this site and al-anon f2f mtgs (only been to a couple). Here is my question he is a different man al...	sameoldstuff	7	447	Aug 26, 2011 by maryjane
	Trying to start over today (Preview) Thanks to all of you for the continued support. I tried to reach out to a couple of trusted individuals yesterday, which also got me through. I decided to spend the last two nights sleeping in a different bedroom. I know my AH is angry, but it would be a big deal for me to do that and not feel guilty about it...	KLotus	6	399	Aug 26, 2011 by Pushka
	Pressure From Family (Preview) I am new to this forum and have just started attending Alanon meetings. Feeling very down now. AH and I separated last month (not legally, he went to live with his mom) after his alcoholism got out of control and he landed in the hospital detoxing a week. He is in an outpatient rehab and attends AA, but has...	nyc018	10	698	Aug 26, 2011 by abbyal
	21 days (Preview) I looked at my profile I joined this group 21 days ago. three small weeks. It feels like so much longer. The truth is it is open at work all day long and am on here for hours at a time reading. If my boss knew... woops!!!! 21 days ago I was spinning out of control. I was checking up on my husband (pot smoke...	Lindaoakford	10	586	Aug 26, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	Scared for life (Preview) I had f2f meeting tonight, she had a AA meeting in the same building. She drove. (The car I bought for her) She was being pretty revved up today. After the meetings we argued over dinner plans just like most nights. She was very angry and was driving very dangerously. I tried keeping my mouth shut to keep...	onewholovesrock	13	707	Aug 26, 2011 by onewholovesrock
	compassion (Preview) Hi all my A is active again after 9 months sober his disease has progressed and I have detached trying hard to work my programme and do what is right for me and my kids. I text him couple of days ago and said that he was ill and hoped he could reach out to his hp but I can not watch and i wanted no contact anymore....	Tracy	8	524	Aug 26, 2011 by youfoundme
	Daughter crazy I think! (Preview) Yesterday I was so happy about my al/ad drgoing to an n/a meeting, and she said she was going to go to an a/a meeting also. Today was another story, we were talking and I was enjoying her and happy I decided to let her stay for a few days. Then she started talking about witchcraft, and feeling she has been...	Ruby	7	678	Aug 26, 2011 by pinkchip
	My Latest Avatar (Preview) In a recent post, Jerry F asked all of us MIPers who haven't written a bio to do so in order to make the "family real." Well Jerry, I strived to do so and got anxious. I didn't know what to include. But I agree, adding a bio does help. I will do so later. Until "later" gets here, I deci...	GailMichelle	8	614	Aug 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	Suggestions for anger? (Preview) Hey everybody! Does anybody have any suggestions for anger? Besides physical exercise - I definitely do that when I'm mad! I mean, what has worked for you when you're mad at your qualifier and reading soothing literature/music/whatnot is to gentle for you for the moment? Meanwhile your qualifie...	rara avis	12	546	Aug 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	New and overwhelmed - alcoholic brother w/ dog (Preview) My brother, age 34, finally decided to go to a sober living home after we (3 friends of his and I) had an intervention w/ him. He's been there for 2 weeks. My father agreed to pay for it, hoping he'll be able to start paying his rent within 3 months. He has 2 warrants out for his arrest b/c of 2 unresolved DUIs...	Jess	8	513	Aug 26, 2011 by Jess
	I'm going to be ok (Preview) I wanted to share something I heard in my meeting last night. A long time member was reflecting on his early days in Al Anon, where he was talking to someone who had been in the program a while. He was venting about all of the horrible things his wife was doing, and the other member just kept saying "ye...	usedtobeanyer	4	485	Aug 25, 2011 by maryjane
	When do you know that you have had enough? (Preview) I have been married for 26 years. Of those years my husband has been drinking off and on for 15 years. It could be longer but I am numb to how long. My counselor has asked me to go to al-anon meetings, just cannot get there. I think I am done? What should I do?	esp_58	16	806	Aug 25, 2011 by maresie
	Rukes always changing (Preview) Hi everyone! I suppose this post is mostly to vent but also to see if anyone else had had this same problem I'm having.My AH is constantly changing the "rules",by rules I just mean things we've agreed on or what not,not actual rules he sets out for me.The ame plan always changes in the morning...	MrsHennepope	14	598	Aug 25, 2011 by Jerry F
	Reflecting on Al-Anon This Morning (Preview) All in all, things are quite good right now. As some of you may recall, it wasn't too long ago that I posted about my ex-AH going through horrific withdrawals. He did go in to a 30-day rehab and continues to go to outpatient classes. He believes this was his bottom. Hopefully, he is correct. He has ha...	GailMichelle	4	510	Aug 25, 2011 by rrib
	Being Tested (Preview) I got a text a bit ago that AH (who has been sober for quite some time now) stopped off for a beer with the guys. He's previously told me he thought he'd eventually drink again, just in moderation this time. Maybe he will. I feel like I am being tested.... "How is she going to react?" "Wh...	Hot Chicka	8	597	Aug 25, 2011 by oldgraduate
	Don't look in the drawer (Preview) Lindaoakford you talk a lot about your ongoing relationship with "the drawer", and the desire to look, but the understanding that looking is only going to make you crazy. Although AH has been dry (until tonight, see other post), I like that visual. Although AH doesn't have a drawer, per s...	Hot Chicka	3	446	Aug 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	feeling a little down today (Preview) My dad is visiting me. Aside from 4 months ago, I have not seen him in 4 years. He is also an alcoholic, part of the reason he and my mother separated when I was 10 was because of his drinking problem. he also helped me tremendously during one of the most difficult times in my life as pregnant teen who had bee...	odalis	4	426	Aug 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	We all fall down.... (Preview) Hi, I am youfoundme and I am a grateful member of alanon... I had a bad night last night. There was some stuff going on and I knew I had not control over it. I had two glasses of wine with my A....He has been having a couple of drinks only here and there and for some reason I thought, well why not? I am not...	youfoundme	15	641	Aug 25, 2011 by youfoundme
	Meeting etiquette: How would you have handled this? (Preview) The woman I sat next to at my face-to-face meeting today had sniffles and a runny nose, and kept wiping it with her hand (without using Kleenex). I was getting really grossed out, and wasn't sure what I should do at the end of the meeting when it came time to join hands for the serenity prayer I wound up spen...	atheos	12	724	Aug 25, 2011 by abbyal
	The Butterfly Story (Preview) I received this from an Al-Anon friend today and thought I would share it with my MIP FamilyHUGS,RLC THE BUTTERFLY STORY Whenever we see a fuzzy caterpillar it is hard for us to realize that s...	RLC	11	7221	Aug 24, 2011 by hotrod
	I know I made the right decision, now how do I stick to it? (Preview) I gave my abf the break-up letter I wrote this morning. I know I did the right thing for my sanity. I could not go on riding the emotional rollercoaster I have been on for the past 3 and 1/2 years in this relationship. I feel calm and peaceful about my decision right now. In the past breaking up has felt l...	jbunny	13	840	Aug 24, 2011 by jbunny
	UGH, UGH, and more UGH (Preview) I just don't get it. Why would you hide beer when you drink beer in the open around the family anyway? How silly is that? Is hiding alcohol just habitual? I get why he hides the little bottles of vodka or whiskey, but beer? Beer needs to be chilled. You may as well just put it in the fridge next to the Gu...	ilovedogs	10	573	Aug 24, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Willingness (Preview) This past couple of weeks the word "willingness" has kept popping out at me. It's been so great to know that there are two different kinds of steps the "ready now" steps and the "willing now" ones. I have been ready to admit where I am powerless over my life and I try an...	Pushka	6	437	Aug 24, 2011 by Pushka
	First appointment (Preview) Gratitude everyone. I am thankful for this board. Yesterday my AH and I had our first real marriage counseling session. I liked the counselor well enough, and she has experience/background in addiction issues. We basically laid some groundwork, and gave an overview. My AH was much more calm th...	KLotus	5	516	Aug 24, 2011 by youfoundme
	toxic resentment (Preview) Today I learned someone whoI had a real resentment towards had died suddenly. The resentment was a pretty remote one, an envy at their success so please don't send me condolences. This isn't about loss, or wanting to have closure or any of that. I have not spoken to this person for years they weren't...	maresie	8	628	Aug 24, 2011 by maresie
	alcohol saliva test (Preview) Ok so my Aspouse went out last night for dinner to thank so co-workers for a summer project. I figured she was going to drink. Prior to joining alanon, I had bought alcohol saliva tests on a q-tip type thing. I just can't stand her lying and drinking, and I wanted to have some control. I also don't want...	Lyne	6	431	Aug 24, 2011 by usedtobeanyer
	Anxiety attack (Preview) Hi everybody. Today for the first time in almost a year my AH missed his appointment with his psychiatrist/therapist. He said he was too tired, but I knw is cause he found this new doctor that will give prescriptions without a session. So I told him exactly that and he snapped. I guess people don't like t...	Priscilla83	5	605	Aug 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Dr. Suess does Al-Anon? - Weird..... (Preview) This morning on Facebook, a friend had posted a quote from Dr. Suess (love quotes from Dr. Suess). I smiled when I read it, as it made me think of MIP, and/or Al-Anon.... I hope it doesn't offend anyone, but I think it fits rather well for us, as we come from all different walks of life, with all kinds of un...	canadianguy	9	735	Aug 24, 2011 by lacewing
	halt (Preview) another acronym that I find so difficult. Why is it that my anger can just fuel such emotion in me I understand it on;y make things worse? And when I'm hungry I eat poorly and binge on junk rather tfan take the time to eat something that will nourish me rather fill the whole? I'm lonely and sometimes so very...	sirchef	3	727	Aug 24, 2011 by lacewing
	Al Anon meeting cancelled and hacks- who do I talk to about this? (Preview) Hello, Not sure who to ask this, please let me know who to inform. I needed to ask if meetings are sometimes cancelled? This morning's meeting wasn't starting a half hour after the scheduled time so I asked the chat room if there was going to be one and someone called Anonymous (name removed) said he/s...	rose903	2	541	Aug 24, 2011 by lacewing
	Otie HAS A THOUGHT (Preview) I had a long phone conversation with my sister and she was bemoaning many things about our mother. This made me think of the many discussions here on the board. My sister is under the impression that her personality bears no similarity to that of our mother. WRONG. I see soo many characteristics tha...	Otie	6	470	Aug 24, 2011 by lacewing
	I think I am coming around. (Preview) Today like most days I really feel like I might be coming around to where I need to be. I struggle w/ so much. I hope I can find some peace & serenity where I am at today. Only my HP knows how much I can handle. I know He is watching & waiting for me to come to grips w/ all my issues, insecurities, etc. So m...	Hoot Nanny	4	301	Aug 23, 2011 by Doozy
	I am not sure saying something would be of use. (Preview) My sister is an ACOA as am I. I have been fortunate to have been in the rooms of Al-anon for a couple of years and many years of work on myself before that. My charachteristics have almost gone now from my A childhood and father. My sister who lives with me is a basket case however. She has the classic symp...	clep	3	329	Aug 23, 2011 by Doozy
	tear in my coffee! (Preview) There is a tear in my coffee some days. I am not really that sad but I do have my moments! I realized after my last post that I can be a real downer. I feel this is true especially when I talk about not having kids. I guess I still have to live in acceptance at 45. I just wish that I could over my regrets--medicati...	Hoot Nanny	8	595	Aug 23, 2011 by Doozy
	In the trenches of step 4! (Preview) I feel really good about my progress over the last year and especially since finding Alanon a few months ago. It was definitely the right time for me! I am going through the steps and attending face to face meetings and doing nearly everything I'm "supposed" to do except I still haven't foun...	Doozy	8	525	Aug 23, 2011 by Doozy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.