Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

holenheart · holenheart

Working in a toxic enviornment. I know I can't change the people and their gossip and lies etc. I can't change the fact that they don't love me....etc. It bothers me what they think and say about me and how their lies may or may not influence the manager etc. I need to change myself and be consumed wit...

Katy · Katy

As I keep coming back, listening and learning I think it is called peeling away the layers of the onion skin, the answers are always here LURKING, living with an addict really is soul destroying and something I read here this week has really helped me to acknowledge that pain of living in that dreadful...

jbunny · jbunny

What's the point of Al-Anon? I don't get it at all. The whole program seems like a cult trying to sell books. I don't understand why people in Al-Anon don't give "advice" to others. How helpful is that? Al-Anon is not about helping the alcoholic to stop drinking. It seems to me that it...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

After this I will not mention the cruise until I get back. I am almost to the point where I am going to say Yes to my MOM. I know she wants to go pretty bad. I guess I am convinced that I want her to go. I am so grateful today that I live in a beautiful area where even when it is hot, it is still the most beautiful plac...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Many of you know that I just love to laugh. For me laughter is the best medicine. I came across this quote yesterday that just set me off. It is:Regardless of what other people say, my tendency to overreact and lose ALL perspective makes me a THEATRICALLY interesting person.Gosh, that really tickl...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha all and thank you Chinup for your post..."The fear of having to move" because along with my morning meeting and the ESH there and now here I am able to stay centered with what I have learned and am learning in this process called recovery. Chinup said; "ive been renting here for 7...

rara avis · rara avis

Does anyone here have any esh on breaking up/moving out when you're the one with the house and and the sig. other/A/RA is the one who must go? Long story short my RA has blasted through my loose ultimatum, is not taking care of himself, not going to program, not spending time with me, and breaking prom...

chinup · chinup

ive been renting here for 7 yrs my x landlord gave it all up and turned it all over to her lawyer son and things have changed oh my ,ive had to on him about my air conditioner its old and in bad need of maintenance or gotten rid of,he my new lawyer lanlord didnt say nothing except to call back and tell his secret...

odalis · odalis

OK, so my dad is gone and my AH is still here. He has shown no signs of moving out. After not speaking to each other for about a week, We are getting along perfectly now even though he is still drinking. Sometimes this feels so confusing because I was positive I wanted him to move out. Now I am not so sure. I ha...

davehill60 · davehill60

New here and looking for some guidance wife is an A and also abuses ephedra supplements. Have caught her taking the pills numerous times and each time the promises are made to stop. All I asked was to tell me if she used again that never happened the denial that the pills were hers even when they were in h...

emilyNYC · emilyNYC

Hi all- This is my first time posting here as I have just recently come to the decision that I am enabling my ABF and cannot live with his behavior anymore. I know this is not an atypical situation, and while I feel really badly about the whole situation I know that this is what I need to do for myself, and ho...

atheos · atheos

I have had my job for about eight months. It's my first full-time "grown-up" job. The schedule isn't great, and neither is the pay, but I like the people I work with and the company I work for. My manager has been giving me some leeway to adjust my schedule and make it more sleep-compatible, wh...

Patk · Patk

Hi Everyone, Well I never did get that opportunity I had been planning to confront my dad with the divorce document since the court registry would not give it to anyone other than the plaintiff/defendant or the executor of my mothers estate. So, I never met with him personally during my 19-day stay...

winnie · winnie

i just wanted to say thank you to all who responded to my very first post. it feels so good to be able to freely speak my mind, and to have people listening who understand exactly what i'm feeling is just amazing. it's been an ok week. lots of intermittent stress from hurricane irene, but we faired qu...

littlemotel · littlemotel

I feel better this evening. Going to cook dinner for my son & I. Spent the day " talking to myself", "it's not about me", "I need to work on myself", "today the healing begins", "let go & let God", etc. I decided to look & see exactly w...

louberry · louberry

I've been married to my AH for four years, been attending al-anon for four months. I am also 4 months pregnant (surprise to us!). Since finding out that we are pregnant, my AH has quit his job, refused to support me through attempting to get health insurance, drinks/is stoned most of the day and is quite...

atheos · atheos

Had a crummy weekend, made worse by an unexpected and painful health problem, and worrying about a job interview Monday morning (it was a second interview, which I was surprised at even getting because at the first interview I was so nervous I broke the interviewer's pen!). Went to a meeting, left in a...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I try to be open with my kids and put stuff down and use good body language when they want to talk to me. Tonight my 8 year old shared with me that a kid on his foot ball team gave him a hard time. He said the kid and him were against each other in a scrimage. They had to block each other. He said the kid got mad a...

NovSun · NovSun

Hello Everyone, Just wanted to share that I am starting to believe this stuff works! Thanks to all my Al-Anon brothers and sisters who have talked me down and cheered me up. I have been slowly participating in the pricinpals and teachings of Al-Anon for about 2 months. I was just starting to see that I...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

My poor husband, trying so hard to quit drinking! Input way to the er to deal with the pain of detox. He's been up since 4 and I can't even imagine the agony. I am proud of him for his efforts. -- Edited by RLC on Monday 29th of August 2011 08:43:11 AM

youfoundme · youfoundme

Alls well! We got back our power last night. The sun is shining and nothing hit our town house! I feel greatly blessed and grateful... There were others in our complex that had a tree land on their home, and about 7 full trees were blown over in just our complex. I am back at work this morning. Alls we...

surfgirl123 · surfgirl123

How many of you attend open AA meetings with your A? My AH often invites me to go with him to open meetings and I actually enjoy them a lot. We talk about the meeting afterwards and share our insights. Is this unhealthy? Codependent? I also attend Alanon meetings alone but I find as I work my program my husb...

Priscilla83 · Priscilla83

For a while I've been struggling with my weight. I've always been curvy but more than a year ago I had some hormonal problems and gained 20 pounds, and haven't been abe to shed them. I was watching Dr. Oz a few weeks ago and he was talking about food addiction and those ladies sounded a lot like me. I'm so obs...

walkingthrubluebonnets · walkingthrubluebonnets

http://alanon.activeboard.com/t43410055/update-to-dealing-with-recovery/

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I think I am ready after a lot of praying, anger & consideration to say that my mom can go w/ us to the Speaker Cruise. She didn't mention it all weekend. By the way, the cruise is on the 17th of Sept. so I have a little time to really decide if I am up to making a solid decision to have her go w/ us. As of today,...

clep · clep

I make a good living. My A does not until recently. He got tired of making little money and got a new job. My sister lives with us and does not work, smokes our cigarettes and eats our food. My A will not take part in our bills at all. He will not help budget and I got tired of the issues. I removed access to...

littlemotel · littlemotel

I feel like I am carrying a load that is finally too heavy to carry. For 17 years I have lived with someone who doesn't seem to see beyond himself. I've tried talking with him explaining how he treats me & the kids is hurtful & that he is the adult & needs to set an example. He just doesn't get...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

HI everyone I haven't been overly active for the past few days. for the past three weeks I have been on here all day every day. I have been trying to put into practice the things I have learned. Someone told me once, stop trying and actually do it. So I think I did it. My husband did not smoke any pot this we...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi all, so it has been a couple of months since my ABF and I broke up. I finally ended things after finding some strength in the program and working it every day. I admit that I got somewhat lazy with it in the past month or so because I was feeling happier. Guys were noticing me, I had even started talking to s...

Jozie · Jozie

Often Times I Wonder What it is that Keeps Me Slipping back to old habbits? What is it In ME, that Makes me feel the disire to do anothers Inventory, and Yet knowing its Not My Place, or my Business... Been looking a little harder at somethings here lately, and even tho for the most part I keep my side of the...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

...out of the blue, he's sort of back to himself. He took his nap, woke up a couple of hours later, sobered up and actually ate dinner for the first time in over a week. I'm not even going to think about tomorrow, I'm just happy about today!

Pushka · Pushka

Well, it seems like grandma had a TIA and has started recovering from it. It's a situation that to have it confirmed she would have to have testing at the hospital done and moving her at this point is not going to yield good results. She has been eating a little. I'm taking it more of one day at a time. I c...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

Hello Friends, Today we buried another of my son's friends. He was on his way home from work and fell asleep at the wheel. His name was Justin and he was 19. This is 4 friends my son has lost in 3 years. His dad makes 5. Some were lost to drugs and others either a car or quad accident. I am asking all of my wo...

worknmum · worknmum

Hi everyone, I am new to Al-Anon, but thought I would give this a try and then maybe go to a meeting as well. I have been married to my AH for 20 years and finally came to the realization that while I will never change him, I can change me. (I know, it ONLY took 20 years! lol) So, I found a job in a city that is hop...

nyc018 · nyc018

Hello. I'm going through a tough time now where it seems my AH, from whom I'm separated, is detaching from me. (Hey, wasn't I supposed to be the one doing that?) He's living w/ his mom since last month when he landed in the hospital to detox, and has relapsed at least once since. He is in an outpatient rehab...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone! My AH and I had our second marriage counseling appmt yesterday. I was really feeling low and out of energy from the night before, when I was feeling sick and up in the middle of the night. I was sad, more tearful than usual. I felt very weak, and usually in counseling sessions I feel at leas...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

This was shared at a recent F2F meeting - I love it! There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. Well, she said, I think Ill braid my hair today. So she did and she had a wonderful day. The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw...

lasthope · lasthope

Hey Everybody. I'm probably just tired from five work days and watching H go through one week of opiate withdrawal. Today he's on top of the world he says because he got through it. When I got home from work he tried to seduce me but lately I've been as low as I've ever been in my life. When he asked me "w...

Rn2012 · Rn2012

Hi all, I went to my first Al-Anon meeting today. It was a meeting for adult children. However, as we know everyone in invited. During the meeting I really connected with some of the things members were saying, like how your feelings are not your own, and you do not know what you truly want because someon...

KLotus · KLotus

Today I realised some things after talking with my sponsor. Seven years ago I ended a relationship with someone I was very much in love with. We had dated for over a year. It was probably the most influential relationship in my life (outside of parents). I starting seeing a therapist while in that r...

littlemotel · littlemotel

My husband & I have been together for 17 years. He was drinking the first 2 then stopped after his third DUI, but even sober he was very hard to live with at times. The last 2-3 years have been extremely difficult. I think it is because I have had enough & I am tired. The way he has treated the kid...

New member hello and a question · Anxietyfreak40

Hello, I found this site by accident. I was writing in my journal on the daily strength website and was trying to find an al anon quote that I remembered but do not have any of my books with me where I am staying. Anyway, glad to have found this message board and want to say hello to everyone. Also, was wond...

kay115 · kay115

So today is the day I am moving out. My parents are on their way, I am finishing up the last of the boxes, and in couple of hours I will be on my way to a new city to start over. Saying goodbye to my AH yesterday was emotional, but I think we are both realizing this may be for the best. He even sounded hopeful about...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just got off the phone after making 2 phone calls for help. Reaching out for help is not a usual behavior for an enabler as the default is thinking I can do it and do it all now all the time and I face fear again of...judgement from others or the "what ifs"; what if they say no, what if they tell me...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

My husband has been on a binge for the past 4 weeks. I've been living the slogans "easy does it," "live and let live" and "let go and let god." So I've been basically leaving him up to his own devices. I'm scared though - today he drank a lot very quickly and got incredibly...

Overcome · Overcome

I'm back up and running with the computer, so Sunday meeting's are ON!! Thanks to Dani for covering for me the last two Sunday's while my computer was down. Hope to see all of you there next week! Love in Recovery, Overcome -- Edited by Overcome on Sunday 28th of August 2011 08:33:53 PM

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My dh is not drinking tonight but he's just getting on my nerves. How do you handle it when someone gives you the silent treatment just because you got ticked at how they were behaving? Namely:while watching a football game, he was talking like he was from another race and making fun of them and makin...

kay115 · kay115

So, told AH on Saturday morning that I was moving out and going to stay with my parents in a different city. We tried staying amicably in the apartment for that day/night, but he got drunk after work, came home, started a huge argument about who gets to keep the dog and such. Eventually things calmed down...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Hi everyone. I'm a grateful member of al-anon. The A in my life is my partner. She is a "functioning" A, we both work full-time. Her mother was an A. She told me she was an A about 2 years ago, it was a shock. *sigh*. I crossed my boundary tonight. Not to engage with the A partner. It's been tough es...

rrib · rrib

Going on vacation. omg i'll feeling withdrawl symtoms from the thought of NO INTERNET for 2 weeks!!! Cya all later

youfoundme · youfoundme

I live in an area that is getting a hurricane this weekend... pray its not too bad... I will be praying to HP to guide us through... I have the kids this weekend too, so we will make sure to keep them safe :) Thanks all! If I am not on for a few days, you will know why! youfoundme

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This whole post is again going to be focused on my MOM! It saddens me to think that another person in my family has to remind me how important & deserving my mom is of spending time w/ me when I don't really want to. My aunt who has some points messaged me on Facebook this morning aboout the importance of...

winnie · winnie

joined 1 minute ago. feel so helpless, again. can't stop crying because i miss the man i fell in love with. found more hidden alcohol and started looking up online help. can't believe i read the exact post of what i had just done moments before. i threw it out. i'm tired of all the empty promises. b...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Just wanted to let you know my husband of 39 + years died peacefully in his sleep at 5 O'clock this morning - (British time). The last 5 years may have been a nightmare but he was the love of my life and we had so many happy years before the drink took hold. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers - you will n...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

But I don't. My biggest issue is the fact that he hides his drinking in the late afternoon when I'm out with my son at the gym or at after school activities. Then, if I want to go to a party with my girlfriends(jewerly parties, candle parties, etc) and ds wants to go out and get food I know that my husband wi...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

Hi family: Just checking in today. No updates to report. Maintaining pretty much at this time. Still job searching as well as taking care of Shirley. I will report to work on Sept. 6. Since my job depends on students' enrollment, it is uncertain how many hours I will work. I am not worried about it at all...

KLotus · KLotus

I am again having difficulty concentrating at work. I am again struggling to feel anything other than negative about myself. I don't really even know why. So, I check in here, I read, "listen," and write to all of you instead of sit in "silence," hoping it will help me to cente...

abbyal · abbyal

Our f2f meeting this morning was on self esteem and self worth it was amazing , some of us seek it from our work others from our relationships and most of us from our partners who were too sick to give any encouragement for our efforts . most of us were people pleasers at one time but also resented the reque...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

Drinking last night turned into drinking today. Months and months of sobriety ended by a 2-day bender. So what am I going to do about me? I am not going to be snarky, naggy, lecture, or be catty. I will be respectful and courteous. I will keep a respectful distance since I don't like to be around him whe...

Storm21 · Storm21

My family is filled with alcoholics, recovering and still drinking. For many years I didn't want to touch a drop of alcohol or even be around people that drink. When I see my father who is a "recovering alcoholic" drink or talk about drinking, it makes my skin crawl. Thankfully he got away fr...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	People Pleasin Prison (Preview) Working in a toxic enviornment. I know I can't change the people and their gossip and lies etc. I can't change the fact that they don't love me....etc. It bothers me what they think and say about me and how their lies may or may not influence the manager etc. I need to change myself and be consumed wit...	holenheart	5	554	Aug 31, 2011 by xeno59
	I just seem to be getting it more and more! (Preview) As I keep coming back, listening and learning I think it is called peeling away the layers of the onion skin, the answers are always here LURKING, living with an addict really is soul destroying and something I read here this week has really helped me to acknowledge that pain of living in that dreadful...	Katy	2	355	Aug 31, 2011 by ilovedogs
	Annoyed by al-anon (Preview) What's the point of Al-Anon? I don't get it at all. The whole program seems like a cult trying to sell books. I don't understand why people in Al-Anon don't give "advice" to others. How helpful is that? Al-Anon is not about helping the alcoholic to stop drinking. It seems to me that it...	jbunny	19	5702	Aug 31, 2011 by Jennifer
	I am pretty sure... (Preview) After this I will not mention the cruise until I get back. I am almost to the point where I am going to say Yes to my MOM. I know she wants to go pretty bad. I guess I am convinced that I want her to go. I am so grateful today that I live in a beautiful area where even when it is hot, it is still the most beautiful plac...	Hoot Nanny	2	439	Aug 31, 2011 by Pushka
	This just tickles me (Preview) Many of you know that I just love to laugh. For me laughter is the best medicine. I came across this quote yesterday that just set me off. It is:*Regardless of what other people say, my tendency to overreact and lose ALL perspective makes me a THEATRICALLY interesting person.*Gosh, that really tickl...	tommyecat	8	683	Aug 31, 2011 by youfoundme
	A Chinup condition with gratitude... (Preview) Aloha all and thank you Chinup for your post..."The fear of having to move" because along with my morning meeting and the ESH there and now here I am able to stay centered with what I have learned and am learning in this process called recovery. Chinup said; "ive been renting here for 7...	Jerry F	3	465	Aug 31, 2011 by tommyecat
	ESH on breaking up/moving out? (Preview) Does anyone here have any esh on breaking up/moving out when you're the one with the house and and the sig. other/A/RA is the one who must go? Long story short my RA has blasted through my loose ultimatum, is not taking care of himself, not going to program, not spending time with me, and breaking prom...	rara avis	10	651	Aug 31, 2011 by Pushka
	fear of having to move (Preview) ive been renting here for 7 yrs my x landlord gave it all up and turned it all over to her lawyer son and things have changed oh my ,ive had to on him about my air conditioner its old and in bad need of maintenance or gotten rid of,he my new lawyer lanlord didnt say nothing except to call back and tell his secret...	chinup	2	617	Aug 31, 2011 by Debilyn
	update and confused all over again! (Preview) OK, so my dad is gone and my AH is still here. He has shown no signs of moving out. After not speaking to each other for about a week, We are getting along perfectly now even though he is still drinking. Sometimes this feels so confusing because I was positive I wanted him to move out. Now I am not so sure. I ha...	odalis	3	571	Aug 31, 2011 by Debilyn
	New here dealing with the 13th step (Preview) New here and looking for some guidance wife is an A and also abuses ephedra supplements. Have caught her taking the pills numerous times and each time the promises are made to stop. All I asked was to tell me if she used again that never happened the denial that the pills were hers even when they were in h...	davehill60	6	853	Aug 30, 2011 by anyoneofus
	First-timer with housing/detachment question (Preview) Hi all- This is my first time posting here as I have just recently come to the decision that I am enabling my ABF and cannot live with his behavior anymore. I know this is not an atypical situation, and while I feel really badly about the whole situation I know that this is what I need to do for myself, and ho...	emilyNYC	5	513	Aug 30, 2011 by maresie
	Should I feel guilty about this? (Preview) I have had my job for about eight months. It's my first full-time "grown-up" job. The schedule isn't great, and neither is the pay, but I like the people I work with and the company I work for. My manager has been giving me some leeway to adjust my schedule and make it more sleep-compatible, wh...	atheos	6	493	Aug 30, 2011 by onewholovesrock
	Need advice about how to detach in a loving and uderstanding way (Preview) Hi Everyone, Well I never did get that opportunity I had been planning to confront my dad with the divorce document since the court registry would not give it to anyone other than the plaintiff/defendant or the executor of my mothers estate. So, I never met with him personally during my 19-day stay...	Patk	2	385	Aug 30, 2011 by Tracy
	just a word of thanks (Preview) i just wanted to say thank you to all who responded to my very first post. it feels so good to be able to freely speak my mind, and to have people listening who understand exactly what i'm feeling is just amazing. it's been an ok week. lots of intermittent stress from hurricane irene, but we faired qu...	winnie	4	482	Aug 30, 2011 by pineapple
	Snooping? (Preview) I feel better this evening. Going to cook dinner for my son & I. Spent the day " talking to myself", "it's not about me", "I need to work on myself", "today the healing begins", "let go & let God", etc. I decided to look & see exactly w...	littlemotel	6	527	Aug 30, 2011 by tommyecat
	fighting and failing. (Preview) I've been married to my AH for four years, been attending al-anon for four months. I am also 4 months pregnant (surprise to us!). Since finding out that we are pregnant, my AH has quit his job, refused to support me through attempting to get health insurance, drinks/is stoned most of the day and is quite...	louberry	5	615	Aug 30, 2011 by youfoundme
	Meetings make everything seem better! (I LOVE AL-ANON!) (Preview) Had a crummy weekend, made worse by an unexpected and painful health problem, and worrying about a job interview Monday morning (it was a second interview, which I was surprised at even getting because at the first interview I was so nervous I broke the interviewer's pen!). Went to a meeting, left in a...	atheos	4	391	Aug 30, 2011 by youfoundme
	Giving Alanon to my 8 year old son (Preview) I try to be open with my kids and put stuff down and use good body language when they want to talk to me. Tonight my 8 year old shared with me that a kid on his foot ball team gave him a hard time. He said the kid and him were against each other in a scrimage. They had to block each other. He said the kid got mad a...	youfoundme	12	365	Aug 30, 2011 by youfoundme
	Some Good News (Preview) Hello Everyone, Just wanted to share that I am starting to believe this stuff works! Thanks to all my Al-Anon brothers and sisters who have talked me down and cheered me up. I have been slowly participating in the pricinpals and teachings of Al-Anon for about 2 months. I was just starting to see that I...	NovSun	5	447	Aug 30, 2011 by NovSun
	Detox ! (Preview) My poor husband, trying so hard to quit drinking! Input way to the er to deal with the pain of detox. He's been up since 4 and I can't even imagine the agony. I am proud of him for his efforts. -- Edited by RLC on Monday 29th of August 2011 08:43:11 AM	Mlkiss75	4	804	Aug 29, 2011 by pinkchip
	We made it through the rain and hurricane (Preview) Alls well! We got back our power last night. The sun is shining and nothing hit our town house! I feel greatly blessed and grateful... There were others in our complex that had a tree land on their home, and about 7 full trees were blown over in just our complex. I am back at work this morning. Alls we...	youfoundme	8	321	Aug 29, 2011 by Doozy
	Attending Meetings Together (Preview) How many of you attend open AA meetings with your A? My AH often invites me to go with him to open meetings and I actually enjoy them a lot. We talk about the meeting afterwards and share our insights. Is this unhealthy? Codependent? I also attend Alanon meetings alone but I find as I work my program my husb...	surfgirl123	6	427	Aug 29, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Being honest with myself. (Preview) For a while I've been struggling with my weight. I've always been curvy but more than a year ago I had some hormonal problems and gained 20 pounds, and haven't been abe to shed them. I was watching Dr. Oz a few weeks ago and he was talking about food addiction and those ladies sounded a lot like me. I'm so obs...	Priscilla83	5	674	Aug 29, 2011 by Priscilla83
	He relapsed (Preview) http://alanon.activeboard.com/t43410055/update-to-dealing-with-recovery/	walkingthrubluebonnets	12	536	Aug 29, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	I think I am ready... (Preview) I think I am ready after a lot of praying, anger & consideration to say that my mom can go w/ us to the Speaker Cruise. She didn't mention it all weekend. By the way, the cruise is on the 17th of Sept. so I have a little time to really decide if I am up to making a solid decision to have her go w/ us. As of today,...	Hoot Nanny	3	408	Aug 29, 2011 by Pushka
	I'm losing it, fear, and things are becoming very clear. (Preview) I make a good living. My A does not until recently. He got tired of making little money and got a new job. My sister lives with us and does not work, smokes our cigarettes and eats our food. My A will not take part in our bills at all. He will not help budget and I got tired of the issues. I removed access to...	clep	8	483	Aug 29, 2011 by clep
	How do I let go? (Preview) I feel like I am carrying a load that is finally too heavy to carry. For 17 years I have lived with someone who doesn't seem to see beyond himself. I've tried talking with him explaining how he treats me & the kids is hurtful & that he is the adult & needs to set an example. He just doesn't get...	littlemotel	6	458	Aug 29, 2011 by littlemotel
	giving it over (Preview) HI everyone I haven't been overly active for the past few days. for the past three weeks I have been on here all day every day. I have been trying to put into practice the things I have learned. Someone told me once, stop trying and actually do it. So I think I did it. My husband did not smoke any pot this we...	Lindaoakford	3	443	Aug 29, 2011 by Jozie
	I get so far and fall so hard (Preview) Hi all, so it has been a couple of months since my ABF and I broke up. I finally ended things after finding some strength in the program and working it every day. I admit that I got somewhat lazy with it in the past month or so because I was feeling happier. Guys were noticing me, I had even started talking to s...	Corgi2	9	497	Aug 29, 2011 by mslouise
	Stuck in "Ism" Muck & More (Preview) Often Times I Wonder What it is that Keeps Me Slipping back to old habbits? What is it In ME, that Makes me feel the disire to do anothers Inventory, and Yet knowing its Not My Place, or my Business... Been looking a little harder at somethings here lately, and even tho for the most part I keep my side of the...	Jozie	2	718	Aug 29, 2011 by hotrod
	And just like that... (Preview) ...out of the blue, he's sort of back to himself. He took his nap, woke up a couple of hours later, sobered up and actually ate dinner for the first time in over a week. I'm not even going to think about tomorrow, I'm just happy about today!	Mlkiss75	7	578	Aug 29, 2011 by youfoundme
	Update Grandma - Thank you (Preview) Well, it seems like grandma had a TIA and has started recovering from it. It's a situation that to have it confirmed she would have to have testing at the hospital done and moving her at this point is not going to yield good results. She has been eating a little. I'm taking it more of one day at a time. I c...	Pushka	9	406	Aug 29, 2011 by Jozie
	Another Tragedy (Preview) Hello Friends, Today we buried another of my son's friends. He was on his way home from work and fell asleep at the wheel. His name was Justin and he was 19. This is 4 friends my son has lost in 3 years. His dad makes 5. Some were lost to drugs and others either a car or quad accident. I am asking all of my wo...	Andrea12	8	551	Aug 29, 2011 by Jozie
	AH trying to draw me back into the drama (Preview) Hi everyone, I am new to Al-Anon, but thought I would give this a try and then maybe go to a meeting as well. I have been married to my AH for 20 years and finally came to the realization that while I will never change him, I can change me. (I know, it ONLY took 20 years! lol) So, I found a job in a city that is hop...	worknmum	8	597	Aug 29, 2011 by youfoundme
	Who Is Detaching? (Preview) Hello. I'm going through a tough time now where it seems my AH, from whom I'm separated, is detaching from me. (Hey, wasn't I supposed to be the one doing that?) He's living w/ his mom since last month when he landed in the hospital to detox, and has relapsed at least once since. He is in an outpatient rehab...	nyc018	7	609	Aug 29, 2011 by youfoundme
	Second appointment (Preview) Hi Everyone! My AH and I had our second marriage counseling appmt yesterday. I was really feeling low and out of energy from the night before, when I was feeling sick and up in the middle of the night. I was sad, more tearful than usual. I felt very weak, and usually in counseling sessions I feel at leas...	KLotus	5	519	Aug 29, 2011 by youfoundme
	Attitude is Everything (Preview) This was shared at a recent F2F meeting - I love it! There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head. Well, she said, I think Ill braid my hair today. So she did and she had a wonderful day. The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw...	Hot Chicka	7	2890	Aug 29, 2011 by youfoundme
	Can't stop crying (Preview) Hey Everybody. I'm probably just tired from five work days and watching H go through one week of opiate withdrawal. Today he's on top of the world he says because he got through it. When I got home from work he tried to seduce me but lately I've been as low as I've ever been in my life. When he asked me "w...	lasthope	9	859	Aug 29, 2011 by youfoundme
	Same "symptoms" but no alcohol? (Preview) Hi all, I went to my first Al-Anon meeting today. It was a meeting for adult children. However, as we know everyone in invited. During the meeting I really connected with some of the things members were saying, like how your feelings are not your own, and you do not know what you truly want because someon...	Rn2012	5	946	Aug 29, 2011 by youfoundme
	God (Preview) Today I realised some things after talking with my sponsor. Seven years ago I ended a relationship with someone I was very much in love with. We had dated for over a year. It was probably the most influential relationship in my life (outside of parents). I starting seeing a therapist while in that r...	KLotus	13	614	Aug 29, 2011 by KLotus
	Where do I begin? (Preview) My husband & I have been together for 17 years. He was drinking the first 2 then stopped after his third DUI, but even sober he was very hard to live with at times. The last 2-3 years have been extremely difficult. I think it is because I have had enough & I am tired. The way he has treated the kid...	littlemotel	6	667	Aug 29, 2011 by youfoundme
	New member hello and a question (Preview) Hello, I found this site by accident. I was writing in my journal on the daily strength website and was trying to find an al anon quote that I remembered but do not have any of my books with me where I am staying. Anyway, glad to have found this message board and want to say hello to everyone. Also, was wond...	Anxietyfreak40	6	461	Aug 29, 2011 by youfoundme
	Moving Day (Preview) So today is the day I am moving out. My parents are on their way, I am finishing up the last of the boxes, and in couple of hours I will be on my way to a new city to start over. Saying goodbye to my AH yesterday was emotional, but I think we are both realizing this may be for the best. He even sounded hopeful about...	kay115	5	421	Aug 29, 2011 by NovSun
	Apathy and procrastination.... (Preview) Just got off the phone after making 2 phone calls for help. Reaching out for help is not a usual behavior for an enabler as the default is thinking I can do it and do it all now all the time and I face fear again of...judgement from others or the "what ifs"; what if they say no, what if they tell me...	Jerry F	9	726	Aug 29, 2011 by Jozie
	Thinking things through and trying not to panic. (Preview) My husband has been on a binge for the past 4 weeks. I've been living the slogans "easy does it," "live and let live" and "let go and let god." So I've been basically leaving him up to his own devices. I'm scared though - today he drank a lot very quickly and got incredibly...	Mlkiss75	14	599	Aug 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Sunday nights meeting (Preview) I'm back up and running with the computer, so Sunday meeting's are ON!! Thanks to Dani for covering for me the last two Sunday's while my computer was down. Hope to see all of you there next week! Love in Recovery, Overcome -- Edited by Overcome on Sunday 28th of August 2011 08:33:53 PM	Overcome	1	351	Aug 28, 2011 by Jerry F
	Getting the silent treatment (Preview) My dh is not drinking tonight but he's just getting on my nerves. How do you handle it when someone gives you the silent treatment just because you got ticked at how they were behaving? Namely:while watching a football game, he was talking like he was from another race and making fun of them and makin...	ilovedogs	6	812	Aug 28, 2011 by Priscilla83
	Update on my situation (Preview) So, told AH on Saturday morning that I was moving out and going to stay with my parents in a different city. We tried staying amicably in the apartment for that day/night, but he got drunk after work, came home, started a huge argument about who gets to keep the dog and such. Eventually things calmed down...	kay115	5	552	Aug 28, 2011 by worknmum
	Crossed my boundaries tonight. Argument with the A. (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm a grateful member of al-anon. The A in my life is my partner. She is a "functioning" A, we both work full-time. Her mother was an A. She told me she was an A about 2 years ago, it was a shock. sigh. I crossed my boundary tonight. Not to engage with the A partner. It's been tough es...	jitsuka	11	903	Aug 28, 2011 by Pushka
	cya later (Preview) Going on vacation. omg i'll feeling withdrawl symtoms from the thought of NO INTERNET for 2 weeks!!! Cya all later	rrib	10	632	Aug 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	Hurricane coming (Preview) I live in an area that is getting a hurricane this weekend... pray its not too bad... I will be praying to HP to guide us through... I have the kids this weekend too, so we will make sure to keep them safe :) Thanks all! If I am not on for a few days, you will know why! youfoundme	youfoundme	15	544	Aug 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	GUILT TRIPS--I CALL THEM LIKE I SEE THEM! (Preview) This whole post is again going to be focused on my MOM! It saddens me to think that another person in my family has to remind me how important & deserving my mom is of spending time w/ me when I don't really want to. My aunt who has some points messaged me on Facebook this morning aboout the importance of...	Hoot Nanny	4	608	Aug 28, 2011 by tommyecat
	i need help (Preview) joined 1 minute ago. feel so helpless, again. can't stop crying because i miss the man i fell in love with. found more hidden alcohol and started looking up online help. can't believe i read the exact post of what i had just done moments before. i threw it out. i'm tired of all the empty promises. b...	winnie	9	839	Aug 27, 2011 by Hot Chicka
	RIP Stephen (Preview) Just wanted to let you know my husband of 39 + years died peacefully in his sleep at 5 O'clock this morning - (British time). The last 5 years may have been a nightmare but he was the love of my life and we had so many happy years before the drink took hold. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers - you will n...	Tattyhead	31	872	Aug 27, 2011 by Rocky38
	Another question that I feel I should have the answer to.... (Preview) But I don't. My biggest issue is the fact that he hides his drinking in the late afternoon when I'm out with my son at the gym or at after school activities. Then, if I want to go to a party with my girlfriends(jewerly parties, candle parties, etc) and ds wants to go out and get food I know that my husband wi...	ilovedogs	11	444	Aug 27, 2011 by Pushka
	Just Checking In (Preview) Hi family: Just checking in today. No updates to report. Maintaining pretty much at this time. Still job searching as well as taking care of Shirley. I will report to work on Sept. 6. Since my job depends on students' enrollment, it is uncertain how many hours I will work. I am not worried about it at all...	hawaiilover	3	355	Aug 27, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Trying to center (Preview) I am again having difficulty concentrating at work. I am again struggling to feel anything other than negative about myself. I don't really even know why. So, I check in here, I read, "listen," and write to all of you instead of sit in "silence," hoping it will help me to cente...	KLotus	11	528	Aug 27, 2011 by pinkchip
	Self esteem and self worth (Preview) Our f2f meeting this morning was on self esteem and self worth it was amazing , some of us seek it from our work others from our relationships and most of us from our partners who were too sick to give any encouragement for our efforts . most of us were people pleasers at one time but also resented the reque...	abbyal	5	3324	Aug 27, 2011 by hotrod
	Checking In (Preview) Drinking last night turned into drinking today. Months and months of sobriety ended by a 2-day bender. So what am I going to do about me? I am not going to be snarky, naggy, lecture, or be catty. I will be respectful and courteous. I will keep a respectful distance since I don't like to be around him whe...	Hot Chicka	7	583	Aug 27, 2011 by Hot Chicka
	Where do I start for online Christian chatting (Preview) My family is filled with alcoholics, recovering and still drinking. For many years I didn't want to touch a drop of alcohol or even be around people that drink. When I see my father who is a "recovering alcoholic" drink or talk about drinking, it makes my skin crawl. Thankfully he got away fr...	Storm21	2	2052	Aug 27, 2011 by tommyecat
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.